Why successful MEN CHEAT: the ring of power corrupts all who touch it
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- Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
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Cheating seems to be rampant among successful men. Despite coming from different walks of life, and advancing up independent dominance hierarchies, men in top positions seem to be remarkably consistent in this behavior. This can't be just a coincidence. At first blush, cheating in successful men makes little-to-no sense, because the risk-reward profile is insanely high. However, if we change the way we look at things, this behavior can be understood (without judgment). I'll discuss more in this episode.
Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.
Website: oriontarabanps...
#cheating #power #success
Cheating seems to be rampant among successful men. Despite coming from different walks of life, and advancing up independent dominance hierarchies, men in top positions seem to be remarkably consistent in this behavior. This can't be just a coincidence. At first blush, cheating in successful men makes little-to-no sense, because the risk-reward profile is insanely high. However, if we change the way we look at things, this behavior can be understood (without judgment). I'll discuss more in this episode.
Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
I have to disagree. Successful men are more socially visible so we “see” it often in them doesn’t mean it’s not happening with people who are not as visible “we” just don’t see it. It might be a symptom of success, like ego yes. Cheating is actually more acceptable than we want to admit because people know of people who cheat but that doesn’t mean we get involved in their business and reprimand them ourselves, especially if they are not close to us and if we don’t know the ins and outs of their relationship status. Most people turn a blind eye to someone else’s business. Cheating comes down to morals, values and beliefs mixed with individual circumstances. I actually think some circles don’t think cheating is as bad as other things like not providing financially for some people might be worse than if their man was cheating on them. Also sometimes men who haven’t achieved what they want in life financially are insecure and need validation from women, or as they become successful yes they get more opportunity/ options but it still comes down to morals. That’s my personal opinion. I love that you’re talking about this topic no one talks about cheating enough except Esther Perel she is the OG on infidelity
Yeah that's true because they can. Women of all statuses cheat a lot...again, because they can.
because they can (short answer)
Most women have little to no respect for the relationships of other women - they are incredibly selfish beings and will wreck a peaceful home with no consideration whatsoever for the damage they do to children or families...ask me how I know - had my childhood destroyed by a woman that could not leave my father alone and wound up forcing me from a solid upper middle class living into a lower class apartment complex in another part of town, when "dad" left with the disrespectful whore and forgot about his kids...
Not same risk. Why would a woman with what she says is a good, faithful, supportive, and may more positive attributes in a husband. Cheat on him?
It seems to me that only men are criticized for exercising their options at their peak SMV.
True. But then again, the other side can really only criticize, and rarely can take action unless the man is dumb enough to make himself vulnerable.
It is probably be preferable to be the one with the options, rather than the one with no options except to complain.
100% facts. Also, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that cheating, as a male, is just evening the playing field. Here’s why.
1. Women are fickle. They’ll leave when u least expect it. Could be a year, could be 20 years. A man having multiple women is natures way of balancing out women’s fickle and disloyal tendencies.
2. Women ALWAYS have options. They are ALWAYS being pursued. We don’t have this as men. It’s something we have to cultivate. And earn.
Dont pressure men to get married or pressure them for an exclusive relationship. A man who has children is doing EVIL by cheating and threatening the family. So if a man refuses to get Tubal Ligation and force his wife/fiance to get a Tubal Ligation and doesnt ensure his woman is only daily birth control is evil if he wants to cheat and destroy the life of his child. Dont have kids in the first place in that case. It is society/women's fault for forcing men.
@@rejectionistmanifesto8836 Try telling the Africans that!
@@hananokuni2580 when most white and black americans people under 50 years old are that way, why would I talk to Africans who seem more traditional like the Arabs?
Personally speaking, when I became successful, the number of women who approached and pursued me was incredible. That’s just the way it is but I then learned it is easier to become successful then to be successful.
What type of field are you in?
Didn't get that last quote. Easier to become successful than to be successful.. ?
Da what?
That is truth
@@eladbari It is easier to attack than it is to defend.
For success you need energy, i have never ever seen a man who is successful at any field who does not have strong sexual energy. Basically sexual energy is life energy.
Let’s be honest. It’s not entirely a man’s fault. How often do you see a gorgeous woman with a broke man…..not too often. However, you get that same man and he happens to win a 50 million dollar lottery, he would have a different beautiful woman everyday. Even if she knows he’s married and has children, she would sleep with him and doesn’t care about his wife or kids. That’s the reality!
I’m not saying he’s not a piece of 💩 for doing it, but it takes 2 to tango.
It's entirely his fault, but, yeah, they don't just approach, they can be a bit forciful.
Women will throw themselves at a successful man, and the temptation is no easy to resist, look at the line of girls lining up at the door for rock musicians or sports stars
Marriage is between the two parties that have that marriage license...... not the persons outside of it. If one person doesn't bang the husband or wife, another will
It's the man's choice to accept or to reject what a woman is offering. No one is pointing a cocked gun at his head and telling him to accept or else.
@@o.x.p And many are those who don't understand well their own inner nature. It's natural for a man to desire more than one woman, but it isn't necessarily beneficial. On one side the man gets more in the offspring department, but on the other he will have to invest resources in ensuring that they make it to childbearing age. Sometimes the resources are lacking, which is why more than a few men go with the "cuckoo strategy". Procreate with several female partners and have other men provide the resources to help raise the offspring.
A woman is of course going to seek the best mate for her offspring, but competition for a narrow pool of suitable males can _in extremis_ become bad for a society. I just think that in modern society women lack real incentives to have children by anyone who isn't in the top 20% of males, as opposed to dwelling on a fantasy because it's emotionally safer and because the environmental pressures of today are not as severe as the ones of the past. At least in the past women and men alike were more realistic.
I think that one reason why monogamy never really went away is that for a man it's less resource-intensive to look after the offspring of just one or two women, than to do so for several women. Though, probably the most important reason for the rise of monogamy -- even before the advent of the concept of private property that made monogamous relationships more useful socioeconomically -- was to *prevent inbreeding.* Inbreeding is a frequent cause of deadly congenital diseases and thus it was important to prevent siblings from breeding with each other.
I’m guessing more men would cheat, they just don’t have the ability/option… success gives you both
Yes -- for many men, their faithfulness is less a virtue than an absence of opportunity.
💯
Nice vs courageous. Ppl are nice because they have to... they're not fierce enough to successfully not be. "Kind" or genuine giving is from strength... where one can successfully choose not to... but wants to because it's right.
Men who have the means, and yet don't cheat (even if by self limiting their opportunity N), because of self- respect, moral code or integrity of commitment... that's praiseworthy. And rare. Recognizing that the road of that self gratitude doesn't lead to anywhere of future long- term success, maybe elevates him out of the short- term game and into a longer and more permanent "game". Playing the long game (Godly morals for a spiritual reward in heaven and in life here) is the way out of that so-called evolutionary trap.
sure but that's a blessing in disguise if you already have a good woman
Kindness is giving with no expectation of reciprocation
Tiger Woods once asked Michael Jordan for the best pickup line. He said walk up to her and say, Hi, I'm Tiger Woods.
A lot of men feel they MISSED OUT on the fun of multiple women because they were working so hard or they weren't attractive to women until afterwards. Now they want what those experiences they always wanted to get.
Every time I have had multiple women they end up talking to each other. It spoils my mood and becomes distracting.
so like a lot of women when they are young? it's like all things are balanced or something.
When this happens to a man it’s a midlife crisis.
When it happens to a woman she’s finding herself.
I 100% agree
I think there's some truth to this. I think men have been taught to just "suck it up". When a man works 65 plus hours a week he should not complain. In our current time we work hard for very little. This coupled with the sense of purposelessness is a recipe for wanting to explore what we believed we missed out on.
Here is the unshakeable truth:
The less women you have in your inner circle of life the more Peace, Quiet and Freedom you will have.
The only women a man needs in his life are his wife and his mother.
Agreed, thus I only have 1 (but I'm lucky). Most men think having many women or being sexually active with many is some kind of an accomplishment. Seems like a DISASTER to me. Not worth the trouble or drama. 1 is hard enough, and I have a great one!!!
@@RandJ1996 Only kings and emperors were able to have harems. Since polygamy has been all but outlawed, many guys sleep around but there is no merit in procreation-free sex, its wasteful and unnecessary.
@@nolanmerchan5095 Yep, agreed.
HAHAHAHAH
I have seen a study that shows that the most financial freedom a woman has the more she cheats and or is promiscuous.
Honestly at this point I’m to believe it makes sense. Loyalty on either side is a waste of time. Yes loyalty for maybe the first five years of the union or prenup marriage to secure the paternity but a waste of a time then for any woman wanting to get married to just about any guy it seems unless the guy is bodily disabled.
@@AB-sm1qf Way to miss the point. The point is the higher on the totempole a guy is, the more likely to cheat. If women were concerned with loyalty they wouldnt be sharing the top, they would go to the guys with a little less fortune, perhaps a little less wellgroomed. Like people from trades.
But women dont want that. So many women look down on trades its amazing.
They don't have the insecurity of needing a man, and so don't see the risk of cheating the same because the tradeoffs of a committed relationship (fidelity for provisioning) aren't as urgent.
Based on what I've seen and experienced, I would say this is true. It makes sense though. If the husband finds out and leaves, her lifestyle doesn't change, so there's really no repercussions on her end.
The more financially free a woman is, the more she behaves like a man
I really like this video. No one openly acknowledges what everyone knows.
“It’s the point the hierarchy even exists in the first place” ….damn that’s deep
Thanks for your input in this DR. This points out the flip side of Hypergamy that doesn’t get talked about
the flipside: men bust their ass to have access to better and better-looking women. it involves a shit ton of something called, "hard work."
unlike hypergamy... which women are born with and it just NATURALLY EXISTS as a part of their nature... with no work put forth while desiring & demanding better & higher-achieving men.
one of those two things deserves a little more 'credit' than the other.
My general rule of thumb is that boredom is people greatest fear and they act upon it . Cheating is a great escapede from boredom.
I think there's a lot of truth to that. I also believe resentment can stem from the boredom. If a man feels bored he most likely also feels somewhat neglected. A lonely person isn't lonely because they are with themselves but rather because there is nothing else to connect with. The lack of human understanding and connection is what fuels the sense of desperation. Cheating can also be seen as a way someone feels alive thus, on a subconscious level prolonging death and not feeling cheated by their boring life.
@@MichaelRe-c7qwhat you said is absolutely true!
careful what you wish for. "Life was easy when it was boring" - The Police
My uncle was successful and he cheated on his wife with various women he met on the job. Wife found a huge stack of love letters written to him from his various affairs (it was his “war medals” that he cherished). He is a narcissist who abused his wife and children mentally and never ever admits wrong doing.
When men do this they are narcissists. When women do this they are just normal women.
Two sides to every story
@@StrongBodyandMind33sure Buddy, just can’t accept some ppl are cheaters
@@ajakakakak ya buddy 😉 don’t worry about what other people are doing
@@StrongBodyandMind33 takes one to know one…👍🏽
The reward for success in any field is the ability to be the exception to the rule.
nicely put
This guys thought process is ELITE
They say a man is only as loyal as his options. I'd change that to "A man's loyalty is as reliable as his needs are being met".
You are right on! That man unable to have needs met by the only person legally authorized by society to do so will be open to the idea of having those needs met in other ways. I’m not judging any man whose spouse has checked out of the marriage sexually.
Considering the man is in a healthy functional, marriage and especially when he has created a family, this is just rationalizing honestly. The success should benefit the family he helped to create. Most men that have divorced from cheating and had to suffer the consequences of breaking up their homes, hardly ever say it was worth it.
As opposed to women who cheat and walk away with half your shit and socially unblemished because rationalizations.
Powerful men definitely don't destroy their reputation from cheating - nobody cares
if anything it gives them a boost. They lose a lot of money but they get it back easily. It's completely rational.
Some do and some don't.
If a person has a reputation as a badboy already no one will care. However if that person has a reputation as a boy scout then the outrage will be magnified. If Lebron ever gets caught he is losing a lot. If a troublemaker in the NBA gets caught no one cares.
The mayor of Toronto was just busted in an affair and resigned immediately to significant outrage, because his image is that of a boy scout. If Doug Ford who is the premier of Ontario did the same thing no one would care, he has a badboy image.
@@timothybogle1461 First off politicians are a very niche example. Obviously this doesn’t apply to them. Second, vast majority of politicians are not actually wealthy. They’re funded and propped up by donors. This is pretty irrelevant to the issue.
@@patrickmcmanus1360 Bill Clinton got sucked off in the oval office and nobody cared, the media made a big deal but did his approval ratings go down?
No good partner cheats
👍 Right on. Makes perfect sense 👍. I couldn't agree more on the mechanics of the process, personally I hope to remain faithful as the years and the growth goes on. Thanks for all the great content 🙏
Your fellow psychologist, Bob Guccione, phrased it thus: "If it floats, flies, or fornicates, Rent do not Buy. You will save money in the long run!"
The internet has gotten people confused about the line between successful/rich people and average people. What the top percent can do, should not reflect what the average person can expect. Both men and women, unless your above average or beyond in either looks, money or fame you shouldn't expect to get the same special treatment.
Preach
I agree that many or most successful men were driven to get there by a desire to make themselves more attractive to high value women. An often overlooked problem is that when the man “ages out” of the attraction game as a senior citizen, It becomes hard for him then to feel self actualized. Young, attractive women are no longer interested, and the old man looks back on all that hard work and ambition and wonders if it was worth it. If he still has significant wealth or power, some women may still show interest, but the age difference becomes socially off-putting to everyone. What then can the old guy do to remain relevant and fulfilled? As I’ve entered this stage in life myself, I see a lot of peculiar behaviors in other men of my cohort that end up characterizing them as classic “dirty old men”. They often continue behaviors around women that by then are just silly.
You’d be surprised how many younger women go for a lot older men. Learn some game and how to be sexy to women without relying on your status or money (old men should already have that)
Hey Dr Taraban, this was a really interesting video because it's a question many ask but can't seem to find a satisfactory answer to. delayed gratifiation is definitely overlooked as well as how gender differences manifest in a physical, psychological and societal way. Jason Momoa (Aquaman) and the late Chadwick Boseman (Black Panther) hit their breakout box office success with their solo movies at 40. Both got married around that time too. Robert Downey Jnr had his mainstream success with Iron Man at 43.
The Ring of Power analogy is really helpful because it proves that without a sense of divinity we will fall easily into corruption. Men, and Dwarves were too carnal, but the Ishtari (Wizards) and the Elves, were wise enough to understand the magnitude of evil contained within such a small thing and its consequences. Hobbits are depicted as a less glorious/impressive "race" with a strong connection to family, community and nature. Perhaps that and their sense of duty and hard work made them the right people to guard the ring; they're kinda like innocent Man in Eden.
"Why do successful men cheats?"- because they Can...
...And because they couldn't until they reached that success.
and because women enable the cheating of successful men by happily giving them the opportunity to cheat.
It's 100% true. I am an example of a man who is fully conscious of this. In fact, I've found it a good source of motivation when all other sources have dried up (for years at that), and I can't bring myself to care about anything of a higher order (such as altruistic or humanistic or patriotic undertakings), even if I try to.
Oh, except the cheating part. I disdain it, so I prefer to set it up that way it won't be cheating, neither in name nor in practice.
I totally agree with you Dr. Orion
Thank you. I believe it comes down to being unhappy and/or unfulfilled. In short things become stale for them and interest dwindles. Sadly, when that passion is lost, many will look elsewhere for it. For some people, it is a power thing - they are so successful, they are so used to always getting their way, they start to feel entitled to whatever they want. I don't even think it's about whether someone is happy or not, some people will cheat because they like the thrill of doing something that they know is wrong.
it comes down to not being able to talk to their partner about their wants and desires.
@Nerobyrne
No sir. My wants are desires are threesomes. Because I'm polygamous. But she wouldn't agree to that.
@@Nerobyrneit all comes down to the cheater choosing to cheat. That’s it that’s all. People cheat because they want to and act on it. Has nothing to do with their spouse or their relationship. They can try to blame it on their spouse or their marriage but ultimately, nothing drove them into the arms of another but themselves 🥴🤷🏽♀️
@@iaminevitable_ if you view it as an isolated act, then you lose sight of the bigger picture.
Yes, if a person chooses to cheat, they need to face the consequences.
But if that's where your analysis stops, then in your next relationship, you'll have the same unaddressed problems. Maybe this time they'll only result in a break up. But that's a break up you could have prevented if you bothered to look beyond a single action.
TLDR: Those who lack vision are doomed to failure.
It could also be widespread human behavior but we mainly hear about it because of attention put on high profile individuals.
Extremely thought provoking! Never would have even considered this to be a thing, go figure
This is all true I agree. And I'm not bringing this up to refute or dull your point because it's all facts. BUT...I do feel like I have to point out that men who had success with women in high school and college tend to want the stability of marriage after they've had their fun. I'm a successful 43 year old man who's never thought of cheating on his wife because of the costs associated. I got over trying to sleep with as many hot women as I possibly can when I saw what a toxic ambition that is in reality. All the lying you have to do. The people you hurt and affect. How selfish it really is ultimately and what a waste of time and resources that it costs. Being married has way more payoffs than playing the field. And I never had problems getting girls at any point in my life. I'm no model but where I'm from women find me appealing and I was aware of this fact since I was 16.
Still working on not only saying what you did in your statement, but believing it in my bones. I’m so lucky to have the girl I do but I have to explain to her everyday how I still feel biologically drawn to want to have frivolous sex. I blossomed later in life after a youth of sex deprivation and women throw themselves at me more than they ever have. It’s nowhere near Leo Di level, and it’s often very subtle, but I feel their energy.
There are studies that show men and women with high IQ are significantly less likely to cheat on their spouses.
The real question being missed here is, what is success?? This, I feel boils down to the heart of the individual. All men at some point must battle the demon/illusion of what we are told success is.
Success is power, no matter what kind of state it comes from.
Success is being able to provide and afford the life you want without needing a woman to go 50/50. That's a position of weakness if you have to depend on a womans mood for your livelihood.
They think money and power will make the existential dread go away lol
I can certainly understand the temptation, but in the end it still sounds like “they’ve spent their whole lives working for a chance to destroy their lives.”
”For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.“
Proverbs 5:3-4 ESV
True
A lot of behavior that seems counterintuitive in creatures all over the planet begins to make a lot of sense when you consider it from the angle of successfully passing on one's genes.
They cheat BECAUSE THEY CAN.
What you say makes sense but also when one becomes successful then access to more attractive women is easier so there is that temptation that didn't exist before. Also I was under the impression that a lot of successful men are socio and psychopaths.
The more value a man is the more he has to loose from an affair.
A high value man has easy access because of the imbalance in the value transacted.
Exactly
For the sense of fellow women, i don't want them being played thing. A women is a human being who have feeling and logic. It seems man forget when they cheat. I pray to God to deal with this cheater.
WOW ABSOLUTELY GREAT VIDEO
SUCH a hole to poke in this theory
-Obviously those who have prioritized wealth and success, greed and dominance, are going to continue looking for fulfillment in ways that will ultimately lead to the same empty place, because they are on the wrong path. Their path does not lead anywhere good. These are not good men. Maybe in your eyes they are. But think about a society in which all men acted on these impulses? This is when strong character comes into play. This is what draws the line between the good men, and the weak. Between men who can live with themselves, and men who have trouble living with themselves. Between men who are respected, and men who are not. Between someone you want to be friends with, and someone you do not. This is the line between someone you can rely on, and someone you can not. Grit. Responsibility. Discipline. Honesty.
Some people got it, and some people don't.
-I'm just saying THIS IS NOT "every man's dream". You sound like a fool.
Been watching you for a long time now... but I can feel the ideas tilting in a certain direction. Very lame.
also side note, that video about the tinder matches for 50 year old men... How about you prove that it isn't just young girls trying to take advantage of a rich middle aged man? Because yeah, I am in my 20s, and I listen to girls talk, and they're not trying to be in actual relationships with these old men.
Agreed, breathing-- the direction this channel is going in is definitely tilting. I'm not interested in justifications of men's lower natures, by way of "explaining" it through evolutionary biology.
We ALL (men and women) have a higher and a lower nature, which one do we serve?
And as a female, I too hear women talk about how older guys with money are for using to get a certain lifestyle. NOT for being in a real connection with, "for better or worse/richer or poorer".
It's laughable when men delude themselves into thinking the young girls actually care about them. Just watch what happens when the market has a big downturn or the man's business tanks.
I'd actually welcome hearing about highly successful men who put their marriages and children first. Who get successful so they can provide more security, higher education, world travel, best health care, etc. for their nearest and dearest. They are the high-integrity men and while they're rare, I do know a few and respect the hell out of them. Wish there was a channel that gave THEM their due recognition instead of extolling the "virtue" of men like Di Caprio by giving him credit for not marrying.
The thing is, women are born with their value in the sexual marketplace (and must preserve it), while men have to become valuable in the sexual marketplace (money, status, game, looks). You wont see too many good looking women wifing up an average looking man, with no money but men do not care about a womans finances and status generally. If he finds her attractive and likes her personality he is game.
Societally, when a man can attract a lot of women it signals value because it is hard to do. There is a big misconception I have notice among women that most men get the same kind of attention from the opposite sex that women do. It is not even close. For instance, on dating apps, men swipe right 50% of the time, women 15%. Thirty percent of men 18-30 are virgins or have been sexless in a year (less than 10% for women). I will agree its not every mans dream, but any man who gets approached by women a lot after years of getting none will likely have a hard time saying no.
@@elbee1290 I'd like to hear about women doing all the things you list in the final paragraph for their families. Why don't we?
Hot girls like older rich men. They say they won't but will always go home with them in a classy bar. There's something interesting about them
Just a quick question. What kind and where did you get this degree that enables you to think you know more than a psychologist with a degree? His theories are based on data. Your's are based on feelings. Nice try though. I'm sure there are plenty of illiterates that will agree with you though.
You have a lot of great videos. This one is in an elite group of your top videos.
It is so true all of it.. 95% of guys starts playing guitars - not because they want to become great guitarists or musicians, but because they want to get girls.. That is also why they work hard to get their success on the job or with their own businesses..
Doing things purely to attain women is a pretty bad source of motivation. This is probably why most people who pick up the guitar fail since they realize it takes years of dedicated practice and doesn’t just get a girl.
A much better way to get a girl is to go talk to women and learn to be charismatic.
Focusing on career, status, money, muscles, learning skills like guitar are the male gaze. If you just do that then you still will fall short since you don’t know how to date women
@@sargeklein Are you feeling bigger or stronger after you have repeated what I just wrote already??
@@andersnielsen6044 I’m just commenting when guys do things to indirectly girls it doesn’t even directly correlate to getting good with women
@@sargeklein And that was the exact point with my comment. But why do you have to point that out one more time?
Hi Orion @psychacks,
The more I understand about the nature of human sexual behaviour, the more I am coming to a conclusion that all of this is a complete mess!
Those men who are needy for sex will be ignored, those men who are not needy for sex will be desired by women, women will ruthlessly change their partners only based on their overall security needs, and choose such high value men who can cheat them potentially.
So, where is the love? Can you please make a video on this topic, Orion?
Completely agree Maverick.
Have always attempted to be honest and keep both parties happy.
Good luck.
Seems the rules always change in the women's favor, at least recently.
Love is a very NEW phenomenon in mating and dating. Love is not what kept people together for most of history, its necessity.
@@drecool85 yes true its a necessity...BUT ITS DENSE AND INTENSE!!... much much more than our biological imperatives....you're talking history...so Manny people in history have created so much mess just for this necessity you call "love"
Poor Frodo 😥... Corrupted by the ring and then it had to get bitten off of him to be free of its power.
Good Point. There are some exceptions also. Justin Trudeau, famous Hollywood actor James Stewart, Hugh Jackman and his wife, Peter Seeger and his wife etc
"The true mind can weather all things."
3:00 - we are absolutely aware. we've been aware since middle school. if you are not good looking, you'd better have a skill that makes you popular. when you are an adult, being successful (aka ability to garner resources) is absolutely a skill that makes you popular.
Tony Montanna was right, and even teenaged boys know this hence why they spend so much time 'upgrading' their cars with spoilers, wheels etc. They are trying ti display wealth and status to get women. I'm 43 now and I was invisible to women when I was young, now I attract hot women of all ages in a way i never imagined was possible. Why? Success.
This also fits well with the behavior of successful religious leaders. I have studied this for decades. The vast majority of successful preachers and priests have affairs or other wise "cheat". High ranking religious leaders almost always have women who want to be near them. The opportunities are rampant. They preach against such behavior even as they are engaging in it.
Men telling women how they don't cheat just bcs they can't is so stupid since every average woman has so much more opportunities and now we are starting to realize it's foolish to be loyal to men who would cheat first chance tey got
Consciously or not, men are highly driven by the desire to have access to women they desire. In a man's brain, it doesn't make sense to get the success and then be only restricted to one woman who might not even the best you can do according to your current SMV. All things being equal its better to not get married if you're super successful because you will be bound to one woman and risking losing it all when you decide to execute your many options.
Chris Rock "a man is only as faithful as his options". Powerful guys have plenty of options - QED
If you are really successful some of these women really throw themselves at you. Bill Burr has a good routine on this.
Men get married to secure a base on which to build their success as married men are deemed to be more stable. They also want someone to take care of their home as they pursue profitable goals.
Many very successful businesses require narcissistic traits. There is a deep wound in the psyche of these individuals that causes a person to continue a behavior at these levels.
I was warned about this by my father. To counter the need to access women at work, or the attractive young ones that throw themselves at you, I have a rotating cadre of attractive and smart escorts. I also have a counselor/therapist who is useful when I "need to talk". I see these resources as asset management strategies to avoid being involved in an affair that could threaten my family and business. Thankfully, I am not a notorious enough figure in my community as to make me a target of blackmail or demands for more attention. Very useful and sensible topic that young men should be informed about. Thank you.
Instincts and intellect are competing forces in human motivation. It's not all evolutionary sex drives. There are rational moral considerations too. Some people are motivated to do some selfless good.
First women, then power, then the money? Perfectly works for me since I was 18 having nothing but girls attention and inner power, now turned 30 I have money as well and it only starts
Yeah it’s true. In reality you can be sexy to women (especially younger women) without money or status or power. It’s called game which you must’ve learned
Young women don’t give a shit about how much money you make or your status. They just want to have fun
College is a perfect example. So many sexy women all in one place. They slept with bum guys all the time. No one has money there since we’re all in school broke
The only channel I'm subscribed to on YT...
sometimes...it is the other way around
I love the comment section. Eye opening.
First, you get the women.
Then you get the power.
Then you get the money.
DOES HAPPEN. It's called being an elected politician.
No for politicians it's
First you get the power (their elected office)
Then you get the money
Then you get women.
So it's still not a true reversal, really only the first 2 are flipped.
Here's the thing... Women are born with the wealth of beauty that was never earned. Men's sign of worth is wealth and resources. When a man gets wealthy, it's the equivalent of becoming a very attractive woman who can attract any man she wants. A man with wealth should see relationships with women as purely transactional.
Horrible way to things. You think women are beautiful and men aren’t? I get your straight but that’s a reach. A man’s attractiveness is so much more than his money, I mean look at the lower class. Everyone tends to date within classes, poor women’s and poor men fall in love all the time. To completely not value love and sex and see it as a transaction will only leave you depressed
@@ajakakakak Thanks to Hypergamy, the transactional aspect is elevated. Once women in poor classes get access to men of wealth, they will not go back to the men in the poor classes they came from. Women are motivated by the resources and protection a man can give, nothing about attractiveness. A woman once told me that a man in a relationship does not need to be attractive… he only needs to provide.
@@ajakakakakyou fail to take into account that by nature, men are simply more horny and build to be easily sexually attracted to women, since male reproduction is free in nature. for women, reproduction is dangerous in nature, which is why sexual attraction is much harder to trigger. men are looking to qualify women, women are looking to disqualify men. men operate from a place of sexual scarcity, and women from abundance.
its not that women are more beautiful, its that men are simply much more easily aroused, which causes the imbalance in attraction.
I don't like this analogy. First of all, not all women are born beautiful. Yes the average looking woman has more options when it comes to casual sex and ONS(not for relationships though, for relationships she has the same options as the average guy). She also can't compete with a model. The model will have even more casual sex options and most importantly more and better relationship options. On the other side of the equation, some men are born average looking and some men are born exceptionally attractive. If a man is very physically attractive, he doesn't need much more than that to get the women he wants, basically it's just like being an hot woman. And yeah a woman's desirability in the mating market is mostly tied to her looks and everyone gets worse looking with age. But also most men aren't going to overachieve and get the money and status that will enable them to get more and hotter women. Becoming very successful might at least be more possible than going back in time and picking better looking parents, but it's still highly improbable.
@@mrdouche9172 I agree about the part that not all women are born beautiful, but a man that is not attractive will have sex with unattractive women as an alternative. Settling for less is better than no options with sex and relationships for men. Women think differently and will put money-making prospects of a man as part of the attraction to a man. That is not usually the case the other way around. I have heard stories of psychically unattractive men getting hot models because the men were rich. Me as a man would much rather get with a poor hot girl and than an ugly rich woman. The differences are pretty clear. It's a transactional strategy.
Great. A red pill psychologist.
Go black 👍🏻
Once again - MONEY
One specific thing that I've noticed in these kinda affairs that successful men have, is that some of these men seem to gravitate more towards dominant women. And that makes me think that the reason for that could be becuz, when a man becomes successful, it means he has quiet a lotta power, and regardless of how the media wants to show power, it actually comes with the great cost of being able to manage it, in other words, responsibility. So some of these men seem to find sexual affairs with more dominant women relieving as it can take their power away for some time.
Are they really “successful,” if they are cheating?
They have to be. Otherwise they wouldn't have the opportunity to cheat.
@@varmastiko2908 - When I said successful, I meant in a relationship. I suppose if sex was the only goal then it might have been considered a successful cheat.
I can see where your mind is fixated. 🤣🤥
@@varmastiko2908 If they cheat, they are a failure. There is no financial success that can compensate for failing your family.
I can't say I disagree with your ansylasis, but cheating is so devastatingly painful. He wasn't sorry when you didn't know. Remember that.
I think you’re wrong about that. Guilt might not have changed the behavior, but it doesn’t mean we didn’t feel it.
You have zero obligation to forgive, but keep in mind that the things you loved about him are the same kinds of things that draw in other women.
Men want multiple women regardless of your feelings. It has nothing to do with you. Sexual variety and sexual quantity is inherent in male nature the same way women are naturally hypergamous
@@adiosmiamigo then don’t get into a monogamous relationship if you can’t handle it. You are free to stay single and sleep around.
@@kenyanicholas6809 Way to miss the point completely. Why are prioritizing the female's sexual strategy (monogamy) over the male's (multiple sexual partners) and acting as if monogamy is the only option?
The most prominent sexual dynamic in the human species, throughout all of human history, has been polygyny. Only 40% of males have reproduced whereas 80% of females have reproduced.
You speak as if you are uneducated and you speak as if you hate how the world we live in works.
@@adiosmiamigo Stay single then .It is simple
Sir! You have explained this behavior the best I've ever heard. Bravo!
Once the romance is gone in any marriage... 3-4 yrs .. no surprise.
These rich, powerful men conquered the world(to sleep with multiple women, not to procreate)but they did not conquer themselves(their lust).
So, bottom line is:
Don’t let marriage interfere with your sex life;-)!
because they can and the frequency of beautiful women coming on to him is up.
no different from a beautiful woman. EXCEPT, the beautiful woman will always have more 'choice' than the run of the mill successful man.
depending on a few factors.
Statistically speaking cheating is higher in blue collar professions according to Ashley madison studies. Also higher cheating is in latin America and the Caribbean. Also Japan and South Korea. More to do with lack of integrity and low impulse control.
Also I doubt success is an excuse becoming I work in big tech and plenty of my coworkers are millionaires but a lot of them have a hard time finding a partner. I saw this all the time on the west coast. Celebs don't represent the majority of wealthy Americans.
Cheating is a symtom. Abit like having pain from a broken arm and concentrating on the pain, rather than fixing the broken arm. Happy committed people don't cheat, people who have the others best interest at heart don't cheat.
@@rosiemackenzie5976 lmao!
Just the other day, a relative told me an interesting story. He was at an event where he was, to some extent, part of. His wife was with their little child there at a table when his lover went up to them and started arguing with his wife -- she eventually succeeded in making him divorce with his wife and marry her; I mean, his marriage was already failing. After this situation was over, three women who witnessed the whole thing managed to get his contact and they go went out with him. The ladies were not anything special, were not serious-dating material, but he found funny how it happened after that public argument between his lover and his wife, which, to him, was humiliating for him and the least thing he expected was for any women to like him after that.
Women always want what other women want. That's why some single men buy an engagement ring for themselves. Because when they wear the ring they will get a lot more attention from women.
Reminds me a fair bit of the gods of Greek mythology - Mars, Apollo, Zeus and company had kind of wandering eye. They were a lot like powerful men, it’s interesting that people have been pondering this phenomenon with their stories for over 2,000 years.
This topic is absolutely fascinating! Thank you for sharing. But what is the difference between successful men that do end up cheating vs the successful men that don't cheat?
Looks, opportunity, morals/self control. I doubt Stephen Hawking got a lot of tail even tho he was successful. Mike Pence was vice president, among other things, yet he won't even have lunch with a woman besides his wife.
they either
a. don’t get caught
b. they make it clear to the woman they will have other woman and only keep the woman who agrees
The women... If you're a woman of high value, young, feminine, loving, caring, nurturing, good looking, kind, loyal, sexually available, not annoying, don't nag... This woman has more of a chance of not getting cheated on. I'm not saying it won't happen, but it's less likely. If you're a woman that leaves your high value man horny or you put conditions on sex, you're playing yourself... He has access to lots of women, he will go have sex with them.
This is just a guess but maybe the amount female attention or sex they received before becoming successful. Someone who's been able to get women won't have that much desire to cheat.
It could also be the quality of the woman he's with. Was she there from the start before he was successful? Did she have a lot of partners before the relationship? I meet a lot of women in their 30s with triple digit body counts who are only into me now that I'm successful. I want a committed exclusive relationship but with those women I know there's no way I could turn down other options and respect myself, they've given me no reason to be loyal.
Truth is that both sexes want polygyny. Most of the women want the successful men, and so the man have access to large quantities of women, but thanks to monogamy do not have to be responsible for more than one at a time. It really is the perfect storm for men in the worst case scenario for women.
Sadly the kids want an intact family with a dedicated father and a mother. I don’t care what people do as long as they don’t have kids.
If my parents cheated and made a mess, I’d be traumatized
@@JustMe54328 - polygyny is not cheating. No one in a polygynous society would think of it that way, because it is understood that, in accordance with nature, a woman belongs to and servers her husband, and her only rights are to not be abandoned or mistreated, as she exists in her form to serve him. She also needs another woman who shares with her the common life with her husband, as otherwise he becomes her social outlet and she can no longer admire, respect, and love him.
@@JustMe54328 - you’re also completely wrong regarding children. In fact, what you’re doing is calling a man who is a serial mongamest, and completely unfaithful, or no father at all, as is common presently, being acceptable and okay for children while the example of a man who is responsible and leads a household with many wives and children unacceptable and horrible for children.
So you glorify the current disaster that is destroying our society and condemn the matt one that would save it.
All for the children who are being so g destroyed by t the current situation.
People like you are the ones using this terrible morality are the ones destroying the children.
I guess careful what you ask for in life. I've never achieved wild success in life so naturally women don't throw themselves at me, but it also makes it WAY easier to be a loyal husband. To be perfectly frank, I sometimes wish I garnered more attention from the ladies, but I realize what a double-edged sword that is. I'm in a good marriage and it's not tested very often. I consider that a good thing
Because they can…!!!
Men are scrutinized if they refuse to enter a romantic relationship by their early 30's, however, the backlash is even stronger if you had an affair instead. In that case, what is it that men can possibly do?
Men should do what is best for them. It is better to disappoint people that you stayed single than it is to settle and hurt another person for someone else's approval.
Then Leo DiCaprio that sh*t
Scrutinized by who?
"scrutinized if they refuse to enter a romantic relationship by their early 30's,"
LoL
Stop putting it on others, having a relationship is your decision and your responsibility alone.
@@cristian-bull 💯
When I was younger, I bought into the idea of long-term commitment and marriage. I got married and had three sons.
I’ve been single for the last 10 years and have really enjoyed it having multiple partners.
I believe this is the way it should be. It gets complicated when having babies is involved.
Successful cheating men are respected by most women simply because he is also a high value man. Women want men who have availability to cheat but not necessarily cheat! He is of high value and they love that.
Poor women sure don’t. Who do you think they end up marrying? Not rich men
I'll bottom line it for you.
As Chris Rock said, "Men are only as faithful as their options".
Access to women indeed is why we put effort in a lot of things after we reach puberty. Source: being a man.
What if success entails making a deal and having an entity attachment. So having something else pulling for behaviors that may or may not be normal for a solo guy, or unsuccessful guy. I see a new meaning to compromised position
What drives their need to succeed is the same thing that drives their desire to cheat, and that thing is an incredibly fragile or absent sense of self. They overcompensate in an attempt to feel whole. They are desperate for external validation because they are so empty inside.
This is simply wrong. Men want to spread their seed. They want multiple, high quality women. It’s really that simple. Men cheat on a gorgeous woman because 2 is better than 1
You make a strong point. However, there may be a projection from a female point of view, focusing on confidence vs. opportunity.
OK. So we have civilization, science and technology because men are incredibly fragile. Got it.
Not really we just want to bust a nut
💔 I read so much hate towards women here, I don’t know about all women but I know that I am a female with a strong disciplined morality, values and ethics in life. I value loyalty and dedication in my beliefs. I am sad to read that women are fickle and that they leave you when you least expect it. It almost feel like some men (if not most men) are just playing a power game with women for ‘who is gonna leave whom sooner’ and it pains me as this is unhealthy and not approaching love and unity as something sacral. I hope deeply that I will have that man by my side who shares my beliefs and wants to commit as well. If not, at least I tried. ❤
Women started the game, men are just adapting accordingly as to not get played all the time.
Brilliant
This wisdom is soo enlightening thank you
you are sooo on point in everything
Great and very interest concept.
Absolutely excellent video sir
You will loose money (and chance to become successful) if you chase women. But you will never loose women when you chase money.
Spot on Doc!
Men telling women how they don't cheat just bcs they can't is so stupid since every average woman has so much more opportunities and now we are starting to realize it's foolish to be loyal to men who would cheat first chance tey got
The only time Bill Clinton told the truth was when he said he went into politics for the chicks.
I think you're entirely accurate. Great vid.
... because they earned it. wives of successful men need to celebrate their luck less and do more work to hold onto them.