What You Try to Control, Controls You | The Paradox of Control
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- Опубліковано 20 тра 2024
- The ‘paradox of control’ attempts to show that the more we try to control external circumstances, the less in control we are as we try to control something we cannot. And so, as a consequence of our attempts to impose control over a situation, it may eventually turn out for the worse. This video essay explores the paradox of control.
Video: What You Try to Control, Controls You | The Paradox of Control
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#paradoxofcontrol #taoism #alanwatts
00:00 - Intro
02:30 - The limits of control
06:08 - The futility of trying to control
09:13 - What you try to control, controls you
11:38 - Finding security in the uncontrollable
Rectification: the story of King Canute (as told in this video) seems to be based on a common misinterpretation. My apologies for not researching and checking it properly, as I assumed this was the correct version. King Canute did not command the waves to stop out of arrogance and delusion, but to prove to people that the powers of kings are limited and trivial - pretty wise and profound. Thanks to the people who pointed out this mistake. I hope this clears up my error.
E.
Thanks for the rectification EZ. We appreciate your promptness to set things right :)
As a child in the UK, I was taught that Cnut (who was actually a Dane) tried to prove the divine nature of kingship by turning the tide. That was being taught nearly 50 years ago, mind you! Maybe history has moved on and reinterpreted that 'fact' but I remember it being taught that way. Thank you for all the great content you create - I'm a big fan.
Thanks for showing how to take feedback and correct it on UA-cam...whereas people are messing with lives of others and not accepting and correcting it.
Having said that, this video of your leave lots of questions
1. Why do people like to control others
2. Why they never Check alternative options..power, greed and fear are still big drivers ???
3. How can communication and discussion are not options for these controlling types to proving something wrong or right... Instead they believe in fake stories, fear and greed tractics ???
"How do we know what's good and what's bad?" - Farmer in the video
Canute was the king of England, Denmark and Norway. He was demonstrating to his people that even he was not all powerful.
*”Do not fear having no friends. Fear having bad friends”* ~My life taught lesson
THANK U SOOOOOOOO MUCH !!! I was just thinking to leave my all BAD friends and i suddenly saw this comment. i love this lesson and now i'm leaving my all bad friends forever!!!
Depends on what path you want to lead in life. In the end, we all make friends in order to increase our status within the socio-economic hierarchy. The path you choose will have a heavy impact on how far you go.
OMG SO TRUE wisdom right there.....
I love this parable by trying to control the less in control we are .... the paradox of control . King Kannut my friend control is an illusion we don't control people our bodies we can influence but not control we don't have ultimate control.
Absolutely brilliant. I am learning this at the moment. I have found out that I have been accepting friendship from bad people as being better than having no friends. Bad mistake. 🙏
Timely... having released or discovered truth re so-called friends recently, I was in quite a bit of self-pity as someone who used to "have so many friends" and now has very, very few... and none locally.
But what you say is SO. VERY. TRUE. Because the requirement of continuing a relationship with an UNTRUE friend is being untrue WITH ONE'S SELF. A worse kind of loneliness.
"I am not what has happened to me, I am what I choose to become". That is powerful
"Reflect upon the Past.
Embrace your Present.
Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"Before I start, I must see my end.
Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins.
Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed.
In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled.
But to earn final peace at the universe’s endless refrain,
We must see all in nothingness... before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (series)
❤
by C.G. Jung
I'd say more accurately that it's "I am not what has happened to me, nor what I do in relation to the situation, For I am truly how I feel in the moment, and my only choice is how I choose to feel always"
You are not the body, nor the mind, you are the ever present witness of them. The silent seer beyond.
Both and? Yes and no. Unask the question, look for a larger context.
“In life, we never lose friends, we only learn who the true ones are.”
If there is 1 real! Not my case..at least i have Allah💖🤲
Amen
That one surely is death.
Unless theyre killed in a car crasg
For sure😊😊😊
" My heart is calm because I know that what I miss will never be my destiny and what is destined for me will never miss me " Umar Ibn El-Khatab
Who wrote that
Imam Ashhafi,'i's quote@@shizznp7411
@@shizznp7411Umar ibn Al Khattab
الفاروق. عمر بن الخطاب
That is terrifying if you really think about it. It means we dont have free will. That no matter what we choose, a super being is guiding our every step to a fixed point in our lives. Fuck that brother.
This resonates with me. Especially how it shows exactly why WORRYING NEVER HELPS ANYTHING. If anything, it makes it worse.
this.
It’s not like you can control it though
@@legitplayin6977 Always strive for control while keeping in mind and accepting you can't control everything.
@@pyroxxx Still can’t control things like anxiety attacks or depression
@@legitplayin6977 i think you can learn to control them
By accepting that we cannot control everything and learning to let go, we can find greater peace, joy, and freedom in our lives. It's a call that encourages us to focus on what we can control, such as our thoughts, emotions, and reactions, and to trust that everything else will fall into place as it should.
yes i absolutely agree with you
👍🙏
The control paradox applies to thoughts and emotions as well. The issue isn't control itself, it's the desire for control. Desire comes from the ego, and it comes from the belief that your reality should be different than it is.
Amor Fati
A black man in a jail cell in a movie once said “the universe tends to unfold as it should” and its stuck with me ever since and when i gave up wanting to control that what was not in my control I started to notice this unfolding happening and conquered my driver’s license with surprising ease. negative self talk was within my control apparently 🤷♂️
You can't control others' ACTIONS, only your own REACTION.
So short and so very helpful words
Easy to remember 🙏
... and then look at the billions of people who were manipulated to put themselves in line for a dubious mRNA experiment...
Or look what happens now globally under the disguise of "climate change" ... of there's anything that can be controlled on that planet, than it's the people.
Your out of lines! **BUT YOUR RIGHT!!!**
Lord
Grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference
A.A.
Just for today
I am so anxiety ridden.. I need to pray.
My favortie prayer
One day at a time
Currently going through a rough time. Been separated from my wife 2 months now and it’s been the hardest time of my life. I realize my pain comes from my desire to control the outcome and no matter how much I worry or think of solutions it will matter very little. I have to just let go and what will be will be. Thanks for this video. It came at a perfect time.
Same. Wife left last Month. So hard. So many dreams now gone
Having been through 2 divorces, I can tell you if you want things to work out with her, your best chance is by letting go and resist the urge to negotiate/plead/control her. Its very hard to do.
You've got this. You'll get through it. Goodluck king. ❤️
Hang in there. I've been there, it can get dark, but just try to imagine that it's okay to be alone. Things happen beyond our control in life, and if that person isn't going to be next to you forever, that's okay, because at some point it's GOTTA be okay. Make it okay now. You'll get through it.
@@life_of_riley88 Exactly. We as humans often view solitude as a disease that must be eradicated at all costs, but we all need to make friends with solitude because life happens. People leave, people cheat, people die. Life needs to make sense with or without people, or else you are not free.
The part about the woman stressing over her job is very relatable. I plan to switch from a stressful software engineering job to becoming a handyman. I'll make way less money, but I enjoy meeting new people (in person) and I love seeing different places and houses. Last 3 years, I feel like I've been trapped in my house and forced myself to stare at a computer screen for too many years of my life.
Good for you following your instincts. One afternoon 14 years ago I walked through my corporate department where many people depended on me for direction and I was very well-paid, and I remember the exact suit I was wearing when the words appeared in my mind as though they were written in fire suspended in front of me: "There is nothing here for me." Within a month the company offered a corporate-wide buyout offer which I took 15 years before normal retirement. I left a high-profile cushy position with lots of pro-sports and other silly public points to it including many insufferable egos, and had just written the annual report, so everybody assumed I knew something secret and that's why I was jumping. If I hadn't made that leap from plush strangling security across the abyss of the next 15 dead corporate years, I would never have had almost a decade free to travel, spend time with aged parents, discover the life-changing practices of Buddhism, meditation, and Stoicism, and later become a ranger/wildland firefighter where I make a fraction of my former corporate financial package but have an absolute blast. We have one life: we must follow our instincts and our nature or we will feel enslaved.
@@johnhamilton9284 That's Awesome!!! It is hard to go from "Make more money" to an "Enjoy life" mentality sometimes. I had my wife quit to become a travel agent and I've never seen her so excited about her job before.
For me, working with my hands to help someone get something fixed, allows me to do fun things like drilling, cutting wood, screwing stuff...it's kinda cool. Plus, unlike my Software Engineer job, I can knock out something in the same day instead of weeks or months or years and never have to be in boring meetings.
Enjoy your life, thanks for your post. It's exciting hearing about others doing what they love rather than being stuck in the Rat 🐀 race!
Having an absolute control over one's actions and reactions to external circumstances is perhaps the greatest feat of courage and strength. Letting things unfold on their own accord is the true way of the universe.
Well said!
When you letting go, the whole world flows in you.
Wu Wei
Beautifully true.
As a person who constantly looks back at the past and wishes I could go back and change it, I now realise after watching a couple of your videos that this is foolish and a waste of time. I know it will take work, because I have a lifetime of bad habits to break, but I think it will be worth it. Thanks for an awesome video 📹
right here right now and thats all we have and thats it I dont care about the past.
All you have is the present moment. The past doesn't exist outside of thought, nor does tomorrow.
@@recyclerking1you may be done with the past but the past isn’t done with you
It is always a good thing to be reminded of our lack of control as we often struggle daily to maintain inner peace.
"Reflect upon the Past.
Embrace your Present.
Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"Before I start, I must see my end.
Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins.
Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed.
In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled.
But to earn final peace at the universe’s endless refrain,
We must see all in nothingness... before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (series)
💯🙏
Julietphillips, This is profound! We often imagine that peace of mind comes when we have full control, right? But in reality the only true peace is found when we have given up our neurotic urge for control. Peace arise when we have accepted that the next moment is a complete unknown to us no matter how clever we try to be. Then peace of mind can become a constant way of being, in any circumstances. We have no expectations about what the next moment will bring, and we are completely open to what ever comes our way.
I was about to have a nervous breakdown and then this video showed up in my feed. THANK YOU! What a huge help this channel is!
Im thinking aboot you.
I hope you are doing better now ❤
I am with you....I feel the same some days....and believe it or not sometimes a smile breaks through for me.
Imagine. Hah get better stop being so WEAK
I hope you’re ok
Uncontrollable forces of human nature at that. Discovered my wife cheated twice. Acted like nothing happened. I got cancer and was kicked out of the house, it took me too long to recover from her infidelity. Hahaha. So, while homeless, tumor in my body, and jobless. I was then served with divorce papers! At 38 I’m back with my folks and licking my wounds. The key is to remember to stay calm even when you’ve only got one nostril above water.
Jesus... stay strong brother! ❤
Much Love and strength to you, my brother ❤
Wow what a story. Ur mind must be one strong motherfucker now. Good for you
Bro! it takes courage to share this so openly. Respect! and GodSpeed!
Keep going you’re time will come
There once was a factory owner who's factory burned down. Instead of breaking down by the sight of his factory burning he called all his workers and said "You'll never see a fire this majestic again". Change the things you can change and accept the things you cannot - thus you can change your reaction to negatie events.
In the end, seek opportunity with risks you've a solution for as the worst case never comes to fruition.
That was Thomas Edison. True story.
See, when I did that my boss was furious! Some people just have no sense of gratitude.
Thomas Edison was that factory owner, powerful take on life
Yeah, because he still had shit ton of money to rely on.
His workers just lost their job on which they depended on.
It’s easy not caring when you’re rich
@@legitplayin6977 Those evil rich people eh. Who worked hard and saved to build a business that hired lazy people like you who are jealous of the person who through his sacrifices succeeds. You are in control of your life, go and try, try again until successful
I learned this as a young child, I called it the pool noodle problem.
I wanted to use the pool noodle, but there was never that many, however when I had it I was then unhappy because I “had” to guard and keep others from it and couldn’t just swim.
I learned that I was happier without the fun sounding toys for the most part, or at least the thought I should use them, because I was literally held back.
This has carried over to many things in my life, having both hands full but still trying to maintain a normal pace doesn’t work, just letting go leads to a better life.
“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”-Bruce Lee
When I was about 13 my whole house flooded (water heater burst in the attic while out of town - don't ask me whose bright idea that was). The flood began from directly above my bedroom on the top floor and destroyed the whole house over the span of a week while we were on a cruise. When I went inside for the first time upon returning, I stood outside the door to my decimated room watching as water and insulation continued to pour onto my bed and belongings. Unlike my parents, I wasn't devastated or upset, even. I think that was the moment I learned nothing is permanent. I learned a lot from sleeping in a hotel for months and having to buy all new clothes and basic necessities. It could have been worse...I could have been asleep under the water heater when the ceiling collapsed, my parents could have forgotten to pay their insurance bill and we could have been homeless(well- homeless-er) Point is, you can lose EVERYTHING (or everyone - different story) in an instant, and that's that. But it doesn't have to break you. You cant undo what has been done, so you either learn to let go or you become consumed by the grief of losing something that was never meant to last forever anyways. The last lesson I learned, appreciate what you have WHILE you have it, not after its already gone. AND DON'T PUT YOUR WATER HEATER IN THE ATTIC.
I hope your family's claims adjuster was great!
This video is not about floods or water.
@@gasmith7486 ok, and?
@@gasmith7486 you Just remainded me that we cannot control other People stupidity either 😂
@lionheart-182 😂😂😂
It surprises me how few people understand why manipulation, or coercion, has the opposite effect (eventually) of the hoped-for outcome. Even the most moral, or altruistic, intentions become warped when delivered by force or deception. It never ends well.
I've been recently thinking about the exact thing you just wrote!
Life happens .. !! Drink coffee ☕️ go fishing 🎣 have wine 🥂 ... accept u cannot control everything. Don’t control people - Do not be controlled either. Live Free !!
Controversial. Where's the fineline between no-control and not letting to be controlled? Thats also a control when you *dont* let others control you. Haha
@@zsauffi Trust your instincts.
@@zsauffino one said you can’t control yourself, even the video said you can control your actions
Now you're technically controlling us to not control others. (also just realized this was 9 months ago.. bruh)
My grandfather died in a sailboat accident just one year before I was born, but left me this gem...
"Always camp a few feet above the high water mark."
My husband recently learned this in a very literal way at work. He got a new job over the summer, making more money and working from home. He was very happy with this, then got caught up in the rat race idea of constant growth and just more and more and more. He became unhappy with the situation he was just happy with a few months ago because he wanted more. So he started doing more and more that was outside of his job in order to move up. This is a form of controlling other people in my mind. We were already doing well financially and didn't want for anything, plus we could spend way more time together. I told him he can't control his status at work, and his company will pay what they want to pay and will hire who they want for management positions. Well, his hard work didn't stop the company from hiring someone else at a higher rate who works far less. Now my husband is going into the office all the time, 120 mile round trip btw, while the other guy never comes in, and still makes way more in the same job title. He was hired on as a remote worker, but his need to show he's worth more, only showed he doesn't mind the drive or hours put in. Did i mention my husband is on 24 hours for 4 days straight when he's on shift, while the other guy is off nights, yet still doesn't have to come in? This is why the position was work from home to begin with. He didn't get a promotion he was going for because the company likes him doing his job since he has turned the department around. If they promoted him to another department, his current one would fall. His new company is now controlling every aspect of his life because in his attempts to move up, he really just showed them he's a doormat who will work harder for less pay. It's getting to the point now that he's thinking about quitting the job he used to love.
Maybe deep down he just wanted to get out of the house. Sometimes our subconscious knows what we really want.
the ability to view ourselves.... our actions, emotions as a third person is very powerful and life-changing
Yup. And often finding humorous our bad choices and mistaken behaviors is helpful. I see it. I laugh at it. Then I do better and move on.
@@joannaedwards6325 you are empowered in a special way. That you are able to move on shows you are detached to situations and consequences.
@@shivjoy
✌
Everyone needs to remember that only our thoughts, words and actions are in our control. External things like climate, economy or other people's behavior are beyond our control and thus one should not be bothered by them!
If we were in control of our thoughts, anxiety wouldn't be a thing, neither would depression. I also suspect we cannot control words or actions completely.
What we can control is observing and learning.
@@TheMathias95 when you don’t know your will power over your thoughts you will never be able to control them till you know who you are.Anxiety depression can be controlled 💯,there’s just a formula on how to do it and you need to be taught
@@RSBloc
You can learn how to handle anxiety and depression, but you very much so cannot control the thoughts provoking them. They can arrive whether one wants them to or not.
Awareness of this can help you to cope. I'm assuming this is what you also meant, but when using the word "control" implies to me that you can ensure never to feel neither anxiety nor depression, which is a claim about a future you cannot predict.
@@TheMathias95 no,thoughts never arrive without being asked for,the moment you entertain a thought you don’t like you asking for it.your mind is the only thing you can really control in life lol only if you understood that
@@TheMathias95 anxiety doesn’t exist so I never feel it,coz I don’t feel things that don’t exist
"Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know." (Al Baqarah 216)
It is probably not the best idea to control your emotions. Rather control your actions in response to them.
I've been struggling with this recently. This is a perfectly timed video. Thank you.
"Reflect upon the Past.
Embrace your Present.
Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"Before I start, I must see my end.
Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins.
Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed.
In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled.
But to earn final peace at the universe’s endless refrain,
We must see all in nothingness... before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (series)
Thank you so much for this video, and all the others. I struggle with low self esteem and it has hurt so many people, mostly myself. Learning to not see myself as a victim who needs to gain power in order to survive is one of the most difficult things for me to wrap my head around. Thank you, thank you for all you do
Really thankful for this video and many others before. It's just what i needed today. I will let these words sink in now and remember again and again that this might be my lesson to learn, letting go and control what i can. I quote my friend, he said lately: this difficulty that i have with (insert topic) might come back in my life, as many times as are needed to understand the lesson.
So here I am once again....but its getting better everyday. 🙏
I genuinely need this message today. I just had a panic attack a moment ago due to severe anxiety. Somehow the knowledge that often everything is out of our control other than our own actions or response to certain situations helps me focus on the present, and not fear the outcome of tomorrow if will be on my favour or not. Sending hugs. 💞💞
Same, I never have watched these videos but this is the first one that showed up on my feed and addressed the same problem that's effecting my anxiety.
Hi. I hope you start to feel better. For help with panic attacks, I'd like to recommend the book Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast. It works well for me. There's also a phone app, apparently, but I've not used it.
@@leonfric ill check it, thanks. 🫶
@leonfric and may i suggest dr clare weekes book even modern physcology refers back to her
@@Telltalesignalso dont fear panic attacks i know easier said than done its all just a bodily physical symptoms flight or fight your body is fooled thinking you are in actual danger but actually you are not its just a false alarm
This is one of the few channels that have stood the test of time IMO. I get “in” to different stuff all the time but this dood’s videos are always so interesting AND helpful! I totally save screen shots and screen recordings all the time. This guy is awesome!
I've learned the hard way that the more I try to control a situation, the less I am in control of it. It's a bitter lesson and one that I have to keep learning 😥
Sometimes, you let things happen
@@archravenineteenseventeen True - sometimes, you just have to accept what life throws at you and make the best of it.
I found your channel right about the time I went into recovery and began my healing journey in my new life. These videos have been such a wonderful added support for me. The teaching of the stoics ties right in to the way of the program I'm in. I have 11 months sobriety and these videos are like a mental vitamin supplement for me as I continue to heal and transform body, mind and spirit. Thank you for the gift you bring to me, and to the world.❤❤❤
"Our lack of confidence is not the result of difficulty; the difficulty comes from our lack of confidence."
I am so glad that this channel exists !!!
This video made me realised that what society preaches isn't always what we need for our lives to find peace. They tell us to have EVERYTHING under control, buy in most cases that is an impossible task to accomplish.
Thanks a lot👏👏👏
This video helped me so much! I am pulling the weight of three coworkers currently while managing far too many projects. I tried to control the outcome to the detail and put a lot of pressure on myself for no reason - because rarely anything ever went like I wanted since I was just not in control of supply chains, coworkers, client's moods ...
After watching this video it felt like this weight has been removed from me, I am able to let things happen naturally and only focus on the things I actually have control over.
Thank you so much!💙
God bless this channel. You are always sent to us in the most difficut times of our life. Whenever I had trouble, a break up, sickness or any form of distress this channel has been an immense help and a source of strength. I am a teacher and I share this with my students. I believe this knowledge is necessary for the young generation as it will save them from unnecessary sufferings and cultivate their potential. Thank you so much.
P.s: your way of tackling concepts is mindblowing. I really love how you deconstruct common sense and construct wisdom with your essay structure! *kudos for all the team*
Thank you. I needed this today.
To all of ya out there who are struggling, you will be alright. You will come out stronger, better.
Thank you so much for all you do. These videos are part of my daily spiritual and mental upkeep. You are so appreciated.
Thank you. I needed this.
It's funny; I often find myself coming undone, losing control of my patience; but then you upload a video, and everytime I'm am reminded of the stoic way of thinking; I find calm, pick myself up, and carry on.
Holding your breath means also losing your breath. Bro that is deep. I’ve grown tired of quotes over time but that one hit different 🙏🏻
Thank you so much. I hope you never stop doing what you’re doing. You have helped me throughout difficult times from age 17 till now, 20. I appreciate you.
I think one point that I felt was not that explicit in this video, but that fits the topic well, is that whatever you choose to control, will consume your mind, and thereby also control you. It is not just about whether the thing you want to control is not behaving according to how you want it to (or maybe it does, who knows) and thereby giving you uncertainty and stress, but also that if you choose to not control the thing, your mind if freed to focus on other things, perhaps something that you can control.
Amazing video! We need to focus only on the things we can control. Life is a learning process and it is easier with these beautiful reminders! Thank you!
This one hit home for me! I’m going to listen to it daily for a while! It’s a keeper. Thank you for the great content 💕
Damn, this channel and these videos are incredibly powerful and amazing. The stress and anxiety comes to complete ease when I watch one of these videos. Thank you for this channel and these videos.
Please never stop these, they help me in so many ways, thank you!
Thank you so much for another wonderful video. I see things more clearly and is not affected by external factors anymore, I always say (in my mind) what Epictitus said. "you suffer more in imagination, than in reality" and now I also have the courage to undergo any process required, for example: applying for a document in our municipality which is time consuming and a hassle going back and forth, but with your wise words, I overcome all that and got what I needed. to make it short, we all should take our time and give it a shot, no matter what we are trying to do or needed to do, instead of worrying in advanced which will just make us suffer. This channel unlocked my capabilities.
Going through a really bad (and sinking) friendship right now. Thank you for the wonderful content as always!
"Reflect upon the Past.
Embrace your Present.
Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"Before I start, I must see my end.
Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins.
Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed.
In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled.
But to earn final peace at the universe’s endless refrain,
We must see all in nothingness... before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (series)
As a 31 year old man who hasn’t had a single friend in 15 years…. You will be ok. In fact learning to love yourself and be your best friend in the end is fantastic.
Another great vdeo, thank you. It often happens that the topic you choose is exactly the one I need to hear at that time and so it is with this video. While watching, this thought came to me - I want to be like the captain of a ship on the sea. The captain knows that neither he nor the ship can control the chaotic waves but he also knows that, with his skillful guidance, the ship can safely ride the waves until the sea calms. Seeking the skill to guide our own ship and the wisdom to accept the waves as they are is, perhaps, one of the most valuable lessons we can learn in life.
This is my favorite self improvement channel on UA-cam. Thank you very much. I'm forever in debt to you♡
Thank you for posting this video. All the material you release are good reminders for sure
I have come to understand that life was a way to teach us more harshly what we are not willing to learn in an easier way. I guess it depends on what type of Trauma each of us have. What I can say to anyone out there who was a Perfectionist complex, due to whatever childhood pressure you must have lived through is this: Give it up, You are Perfect already even if you make lots of mistakes and have failed. If you are looking for external approval, stop and give that approval to your self. Remind yourself or Re learn to do the best you can in whatever circumstance and then let go, the outcome will be the outcome. it took me 45 years to learn that, and I am living in a more balanced way now, and learning to let go of control and just focusing on doing the best I can, and learn to trust life knows much better than I do, and that life was indeed the bigger picture. Blessings to All.
I can't explain how much i needed it at this time. UA-cam recommended this to me yesterday but couldn't watch it as i was busy but a feeling came to me that i must watch it so i searched for it again. I'm having a difficult time rn and this video is an eye opener for me. Thank you so much
Serendipity is so cool. 👌
Same happened to me bro
Wow, I can't believe how informative and well-researched this video is. Thank you for sharing!
So so beautiful!! Such profound wisdom. Thank you!! ❤️
Every video on this channel is so deep , knowledgeable and pleasant to watch. We gain wisdom in an entertaining way.
The desire to control everything isn't just out of insecurity but also immaturity
I agree.
You just make such amazing videos. Thank you so much. So many love and acknowledge your work.
Thanks again for your generosity. Nice to hear that you (still) appreciate the videos!
Thankyou for sharing this message, ur timing is perfect.
U got a new sub.
Keep spreading wisdom & light.❤️
i just want to say: einzelgänger! you ARE something else...🙌 this is the best educational video i've seen in a while. every second of this video was educational. and this is really hard to achieve. wow. you fed my soul. ❤
This one is a home run! Great job man
Whoever you are who can't sleep tonight, is tired or sad, believe that there will be tomorrow that will light up your beautiful days.
You just need to endure a little more, a little more, and a little more ...
Thank you for being patient, thank you for being able to survive. And as you read this, promise yourself that you will be able to get through your toughest days in the future.
Promise to keep smiling, no matter how you are ...
You deserve to be happy :)
Thank you for this beautiful message❤
You are a beautiful soul 😍
Wow, that was so kind of you! Thank you so much!
This whole thing was totally amazing and hopefully life-changing. I'm going to go get a notebook and a pen and watch it again and take notes this time. Thanks so much.
Several years ago, I was laid off from a law firm, along with several others. I was devastated. Six months later, I was hired by The Department of Justice. With a higher salary, pension, great benefits, promotions and annual COLAs. I came to realize, the previous layoff was a blessing in disguise!
The Art of Doing Nothing is bliss
I dont read papers listen to the news, this is the only way I find peace. I just leave every day to God, everything is always outside my control. Why would I think otherwise? The only thing I know is how I feel in this moment just as it is. ❤
Thanks for your hard work on this. Your channel have gave m a whole new and peaceful perspective to life. Thank you so much for your help.
Thank you for this really inspiring video. The wisdom you have given us will inevitably help us people a lot in our pursuit of living our life in a more.fulfilled way.
Really loved the animation in this video. Great moral from the story as well.
"When you do anything to the extreme, you end up doing the opposite of what you originally intended."
E, you have become like an old wise friend, always there in the background to give well founded advice if needed😊 Your gift to us all will continue to make this world a better place, with your great videos we can understand the reasons behind suffering & orientate ourselves towards a better place. With much appreciation 😊
The paradox of control is such a profound concept. It's so true that the more we try to control things, especially those beyond our reach, the more they end up controlling us. The story of the man trying to control the floodwaters with a dam was a perfect illustration of this. It's a reminder that we need to let go and accept that we can't control everything. This doesn't mean we should stop trying to improve our circumstances, but we should be mindful of our limitations and the potential consequences of our actions.
8:41 in Quran (But you may hate a thing although it is good for you, and may love a thing although it is evil for you. Allah knows, and you do not know) Sura 2: AL-BAQARA ❤
Life is a good teacher, as long as you’re a good student
One of the best channels I have come across...❤
Thank you for spreading the wisdom...
You really do produce great content! Thank you! ❤
Fighting for control will put you in a hole that will be difficult or impossible to climb out of. Hold on loosely but don't let go. If you cling too tightly, you're going to lose control. Those words previously typed are lyrics from a .38 Special song called 'Hold On Loosely". They fit well with this. Thanks for the thought nutrition and reading this.
“I’m not what happened to me; I’m what I choose to become” ❤
Inspiring!!! I had the fate whenever i tried to control the things around me it controlled me. I couldn’t come out of situation not going in my favour as I lost acceptance and humbleness in the process.
It took me time to understand let the life takes in its direction and you just flow with it👍
Always 💯
Thank you for the reality checks.
Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat
What a coincidence that this video appeared in my feed. During an intense, serious discussion, because I was so increasingly desperate to get my point of view across to a few family members, I didn't realise that I was raising my voice and trying to talk over everyone else. It caused my elder brother, who I had not quarreled with in over a dozen years, to furiously lash out at me. It shocked me so suddenly and badly that I ended up apologising to him immediately afterwards. We made up, but I still feel terrible for provoking him. I wish that this video came to me sooner, but I guess it's a lesson learned nonetheless.
Oh my goodness!! That is exactly what I needed to hear right now.
This opened a lot of mental doors for me, thank you ❤
accept what you can’t change, have the courage to change what you can, and more importantly the wisdom to know the difference between the two!
same here, no paradox of control, make a choice on what you think you can control. try and fail sometimes, succeed othertimes :)
i have neither 😂
@@newt2120 acceptance it is then :D
@@remitemmos9165 i won't lol. thats my best quality. im always changing, and extremely adaptable to any situations. and failure bas never stopped me. most of my life is described by failure
Sometimes it's just hard to find that fine line of where your control stops and the uncontrollable starts. It is not a bad idea to prepare yourself before walking into a mine field, but you can't prepare for absolutely everything.
Thank you, very well done! Most "successful" control is created with in a structure and rarely accomplished in isolation!
True. I often thought depression resulted when bad things happen to you over which you have no control. Here it says the way out of that is to have confidence that you can handle any situation even if it simply means to run away. You can’t control a tornado so get out of its path. But more than that the Chinese farmer is correct. What is good? What is bad? It’s like being angry at circumstances or yourself for being late and missing getting on the Titanic. What looks like bad luck could be the luckiest day of your life. Michael Jackson missed an appointment at the World Trade Centre in New York on Sept 11, 2001 because the night before he had stayed up to 3 AM talking to his mother on the phone. “Damn. Missed my appointment at the WTC this morning because I slept in late. It was important. Maybe tomorrow.”
If I try to control my addiction issues. My addiction controls me. If I'm mindful, and I place my addiction into a higher which can be anything. I stay sober.
Perfect timing thank you ❤
Really good essay, I could see how it's affected many of my own past disasters
One of your best videos E! Thank you.
One step at a time. One day at a time. Only thing different from a bad or good day is what you do about it. Stay strong minded and keep focusing on what matters most. Life is too short to worry about the things you can’t control. Enjoy the journey there’s no destination :)
This reminds me of Sauron, who poured much of his spirit into crafting the One Ring to control the wills of others, and master Middle Earth itself - but ultimately he just ended up making himself critically vulnerable
thank you for delivering philosophy content on youtube
it makes it so accessible for a working class gentlemen like me!
i don't have time to read and sit down and its just accessible and the breadth of your content, its very useful and convinent ty
It's a struggle but day by day I'm slowly getting there, great video ❤