I cant help but laugh at the fact that Mark was giggling over the woman in the club who was all gumby like- but proceeded to not notice the woman with a popcorn bag on her head-
Spoons are okay though, even though we all know spoons are the most dangerous weapon of all and are ready to ensue the inevitable mass destruction of humanity as we know it :)
'Tis how my great-grandfather dealt with rubbish criminals when he was a border-patrol soldier in WW2. And he was Hungarian btw, so the uniform was also kinda accurate.
Mark: [Rejects paperwork] Citizen: [Right before he gets shot] "Wish I had rejected your mom. You would've never been born." At least he went out a savage.
Not same I have UA-cam premium I shall never any time soon feel how other people feel about those Types of things to happen probably would’ve laughed though
Not only did Mark not satisfy his wife, he never realized he has to physically put food in the fridge and fuel in the stove so his family doesn't starve / freeze to death.
@@StefanST He probably meant "If anything, this is like being a security guard (still a fun job)" or he could mean "If this is anythimg like being a security guard it's still a fun job"
“Oohhh WIFE” *Gets jumpscared* “I’m depressed and dead??!!” Mark never fully trusted his wife after that stunt... they found his body in the river later that year
@@NAXTY yeah sure kid, but he’s not a very good dad making you rely on social media for something he could just get you, or something you could work for.
Mark- singing cheerfully **gunshot in background** Mark- continues to cheerfully sing and go home Idk why but it was so funny to just hear that in the distance and him just be like "yeah"
I fucking hate these mid-vid ad runs... I'd rather have them at the start and finish of the vid ffs. (This isn't the only vid on youtube that does it too. Constantly breaks the pacing of vids man :/ )
I love how it’s “the thief stole your uncles bed” as though there is just one in the town and this just happens to people.
Ah shet, the local thief stole my toilet again.
Perhaps I should move
and his family didn't move from the house. The thieft litterally took the bed from under the uncle!
i would like this comment but its on 420 so I'll respect you.
@@nicoleangelcourt2862 Dank
@@nicoleangelcourt2862 in that 40 minutes it's gone up to 447 though
“We’re too poor to have a clock”
Me: Don't do it don’t do it don’t do it don’t do it
“Just like my childhood all over again”
When I was a child, we couldn't afford eggs, we had a chicken but we had to kill it for our own entertainment, also nice pfp, memento mori
*Tic. Tac. Tic. Tac. Tic. Tac.*
@@gabrielpineirogarcia2078 unus annus unus annus....
Words that will forever be immortalized in our memories
Memories are forever after all
@Cryptid What cryptid are you? Hee Hoo or The Gongoozler
@@spartanonionproductions1137 I am SCP-11325
_"sound the alarm! HE'S GOT A FORK!!"_
*man with Mosin runs out of the shadows and drags the screaming person to their resting place*
it's still _slightly_ more dangerous than a spoon
CALL THE MILITARY, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
@@coolperson10-m Wait, a SPOON? OH MY GOD, AHHHHHH
If you walked into the airport with a fork I think you'd actually get pulled aside and possibly denied access
Mark faced everything in this game. But the thing that broke him?:
"'I needed to be more energetic in the bed' NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
“ITS TOO CLOSE TO HOME”😂🤣😂🤣
@@SftHrtBrsKnckls XDDDDDDDDD
Theres no place like home!
Priorities man
Lol
Mark: This hits too close to home.
Me: Is everything alright with you and Amy, dude?
Doesn’t realize how to give papers back and just kills him for having not the right paperwork my god. 😂😂
Markiplier doesn't know how to do something also Markiplier:SHOOT HIM edit: thanks for the likes
e
e
666 likes 😳
A fairly accurate representation of the american legal system.
Boss: “You killed him for a fork?”
Mark: “Yeah.....that was my bad.”
Way bee
Nice profile pic
When
Tbh you would probably get arrested for having a fork on you (and not in your luggage) at most security checks
"You're depressed and you're dead"
Bruh. One at a time game.
You are the rude one here on this comment about Markiplier and just say nice thing to Markiplier, ok, even though Markiplier is real
@@amberator3456 Ok
@@Wan-vo4cr ok of what
@Nugget no I am not high
@Nugget I am not using drugs
I cant help but laugh at the fact that Mark was giggling over the woman in the club who was all gumby like- but proceeded to not notice the woman with a popcorn bag on her head-
Priorities
@@13DarknessGirl666 *Professionals have standards*
Well it's like the stereotypical lamp shade on the head at a party
Don't know why that's just like A Thing but it is
Fork: •exists•
Mark: *now this is an avengers level threat*
.
@@user-zm3bc8ng6m I don’t know you...but I like you.
That's good old Mark
Man pulls out box of soap
US Airport Security: A terrorist, empty on him
@@danie9507 hm well thank you, I like you too :)
"Uncle's bed is stolen?!" Doesn't realize he left the front door open, lol
Wait, is that actually why it happened?
I sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag . Who needs a bed ? That guy is a coward !
Uncle Ben is stolen... poor Ben.
Who steals a bed?
@@kcalb4569 poor people
Today's lesson: don't get close to markiplier with a fork
Or even worse......a spork.
Spoons are okay though, even though we all know spoons are the most dangerous weapon of all and are ready to ensue the inevitable mass destruction of humanity as we know it :)
@@RiskItForAChoccyBiscuit I am scared of you😶
@@walkerwilliams-rigsofrodst3316 You should be scared of the spoons 🥄
what about a spoon. A spoon is harmless
THE WAY THE GUARD SLOWLY WALKED IN, AND WALKED AWAY AND THEN JUST THE GUNSHOT MADE ME CRY LAUGHING OH MY GOD.
IT SHOULDN'T BE FUNNY BUT IT WAS REALLY REALLY FUNNY!!!
@NukaChloe769:20 13:10 20:10
'Tis how my great-grandfather dealt with rubbish criminals when he was a border-patrol soldier in WW2. And he was Hungarian btw, so the uniform was also kinda accurate.
Markiplier: the savage who killed a man because he had a fork.
I’m the 666th like 🙃
no markimoo was threatened
What time?
@@dogedog8686 they were looking at him funny. They had it coming
@@zacharygodwin6328 Yes, Markimoo is the correct name.
Just imagine the people's faces when they see a car out in the field and hearing "OH MY GOD!!!!!" lol
Joseph Joestar?
Love to all
@@aaronramshaw7600 i cant unhear him
1.3k likes was unexpected lol thank you kindly
Game grump reference
"We were too poor to have a clock"
Mark: *Childhood Intensifies*
Ok
oh this game is like a blast from the past for Mark 😮
Another one added to Marks poor joke compilation
Well... He did say it's too real.
I'm 5 minutes in and he's going everywhere but the border.
Lol fr
I feel like mark is the only person who would execute someone for owning a fork
Welcome to mother Russia then.
No i defo would
I got the impression he thought getting anything on the metal detector was bad, and then he realised when it was too late 😅
Markiplier isn't real, it can't hurt you
Markiplier:
@@daffa5130 lol yes
“The thief stole your uncle’s bed”
So that’s why duolingo taught me how to say “this child stole my table” in Russian!
and here I thought I would never need to use "the watch fell into the wine". Thanks, Duo!
Fuckers took my table
Can't have shit in Russia
It taught be how to say: These are not my fingers in German. It'll definitely come in handy!
Mark: “This is too close to home”
Game: denying people entry to the country and bringing chocolate and cigarettes home to your wife who ignores you 😂
@ Pog Pog Pog
@ Pog
@ POG
@ You have started something you won't be able to stop.
POG
Mark:
Lets a person with a c4 go but kills someone for having a fork
Mark: this game hits too close to home
Also Mark: shoots and kills 4 people
He said what he said and meant what he meant
He didn’t stutter
He said it right after he needed more energy in sex so...
Mark: "Border Officer"
Also Mark: *goes to the Strip Club*
I'll bring the dollar bills
That dude Obama, prepaid Caribbean girls
გიორგი ფ
with an ax *
@Rita , WANT ВОУ !!! ☹
Mark: “papers please.”
Me: hesitates for only a moment.
Mark: “d e a t h.”
you can just press enter instead of putting a million spaces in your comment
@@PresidentNathan ah well I’m not very smart then am I. Thank you for the advice
After that jumpscare, i think id rather stay as a virgin.
Same. Saaaaame.
Oh man
Same
I just started the video and I'm looking through the comments and now I'm scared cause you said there's a jumpscare...
Fuck
@@bruh-fb7vr the timestamp is 17:23 if you want to skip it
Mark: "I didn't scan you!"
Mark: "It's probably fine."
*Woman has a bomb*
*o h .*
@@sovietmusiclover857 *n o . . .*
I countinued ur scentence.
21:16
Also, the woman WAS a bomb
I died after the wife jump scare. She's coming for that snu-snu, and doesn't care if her mother watches apparently.
“Save your money”
Mark: *almost immediately wastes money on a shit stripclub*
That weird ass face was worth every dime
@@mwebb8434 i t s w o r t h e v e r y p e n n y
@@narnonarno5529 I t s w o r t h e v e r y f i n g e r
@@mwebb8434 you right, you right, I apologize and retract my previous statement.
It's all fun and games when so ending until you check your bank account and you have $24 to last you a week
"A little beer never hurt anyone"
Says the man who could die if he drinks alchohol
Mark: “Just like my childhood all over again”
Me: When you were so poor you couldn’t even afford 5 ovens
lmaooo
bruh I read this right when he said that
oh hey it's you
I AM A MAN, WHO
@@scarcat2469 OWNS 5 OVENS.
"Border officer"
5 minutes later
Strip club with women wearing popcorn buckets.
l
My dad promised me a new pc if i hit 200 comments on my recent video in 2 days time. Help guys i really need it🥺🥺,,’
@@NAXTY once again yes I have
@@zefzec4462 it's a bot
@Ì Ám ĶèvìñBB1 no thanks
I love how since Mark didn’t know how to hand things to the first person, his solution was to kill them.
I know this is a year old comment but to be fair...
Mark did tell him to leave him alone lol
Mark: *goes to store*
Mark: “do you have any bombs?”
while he is holding an ax
Bombs? You want it? It's yours my friend, as long as you have enough rubles
Mark: "Im dumb, im dumb"
He says that after the fact when he does a double back flip with his car.
I know a guy who could that, haven't seen him in a while.
You could use your internal clock Markie. Totally free.
That means he's a genius ?
Ethan taught him well
Jesus christ the wife in bed gonna give me a heart attack wtf
doing the deed can lead to heart attack, the difference is if you get a jumpscare, pleasure, or AIDs
I thought that was Lixian's doing
That jumpscare made me depressed and dead
Time stamp?
@@fizzimakes1050 17:24
"this is a fork"
"dear god..."
"...there's more"
"NO !"
“It holds the soul of every one in this room”
it contains a spoon
"Does it say you want the bucket?" "Yes."
But wait theres more! -Billy Mays
lololololololololololololololololololol
"i guess she had boobs too so that's nice"
nice to hear Mark has his priorities in place
Man: Has fork
Mark: And I took that personally
fork you
they should have went with the spoon
is mark a forkist?!?!$?!?
i hate that i read this in a german accent for no reason
“Just like my childhood all over again”
-Markiplier, who’s apparently Russian
Fr what a liar, there wasn't even a butt stone.
No... They couldn't afford to be Russian.
Pretty sure he was too poor to even afford citizenship anywhere
@oʇoɥd ǝlıɟoɹd ʎɯ ʞɔılɔ ʇ,uop dude just how-
Да это так
"Get ready to get sqooshed!"
Deer: *honey, you've got a big storm comin*
*finger guns*
Can I ask you kind of a weird question?
@@theinstitute1324GOD DAMMIT I WISH I SAW THIS COMMENTS EARLIER. BUT YES U CAN
Mark: [Rejects paperwork]
Citizen: [Right before he gets shot] "Wish I had rejected your mom. You would've never been born."
At least he went out a savage.
"You will never had born"
@@sherwinashford "You will had never born"
“Markiplier isn’t real” simulation games almost every day since he came back.
Ikr it’s freaking me out
I just noticed that!! Also dark is the only real one the only good guy mark is evil hehe
I was just about to say this thanks!
That's what I said in the Streamer Life Simulator episode! Good to know I'm not the only one.
Let him play
Who ever this game designer is, we need more of their games.
Is a a shame that this is a rip off, this could be better.
@@ee3171 true, true
@@ee3171 rip off of wat game
At least better quality like gta v
@@joydelphin4898 Its core gameplay is basically a complete rip off of paper please but worse.
“It’s too real”
Two seconds before: *not energetic enough*
666 Likes
But I am the only one here
Mark's puzzled face as that officer slowly walks over to arrest the guy made me lose it
Woman: *has C4*
Mark: ...
Man: *has fork*
Mark: and I took that personally
Thank you for your support and that is Markiplier’s fan for the last and final hours of Markiplier channel
@@amberator3456 what
@@watchdog2065 Amberator and that is my UA-cam channel name
@@watchdog2065 Watchdog
I mean what do you mean about the final hours of his channel
Mark: sees fork
Also mark:”i see this as a personal threat“
This is a horrible idea, Mark would just deny everyone entry.
@HATE Comments GUY I'm not deaf
What a true american !
@oʇoɥd ǝlıɟoɹd ʎɯ ʞɔılɔ ʇ,uop how did you turn your comment upise down
@@UltimateGrabber should lose subs for this
Yeah, you'd be better off hiring someone more competent like Wade.
21:05 Man: Someone who finally does their job properly!
21:06 Mark: *struggles intensely to pick up entry permit and hand it to said man*
"Did I get money, why didn't I get money" Casually has 2 men shot and has a person go through border control with a bomb
Mark: Arrest this man.
Guard: *takes him outside and shoots him*
Mark: Oh shi-*AD*
Same thing happened to me I laughed so hard
Same here
Not same I have UA-cam premium I shall never any time soon feel how other people feel about those Types of things to happen probably would’ve laughed though
SAME IT WAS HILARIOUS
@@thatonenon-uniqueindividual stop flexing to us peasants
"I'm wasting all my energy I'm going to give to my whiiiffffeeeee"
~Markiplier, 2021
"you're depressed and you're dead" is gonna be the name of my autobiography
“I have a happiness bar. That’s depressing because that means it can go down.”
Thank you for your support and that you trust in Markiplier
@@amberator3456 Why do you keep writing that under every single comment here?
@@mansurislamov9595 because I wanted to
@@amberator3456 an unreasonable answer
@@amberator3456 you're so annoying smh
Not only did Mark not satisfy his wife, he never realized he has to physically put food in the fridge and fuel in the stove so his family doesn't starve / freeze to death.
Hm, what conundrum he was in, was he not?
Tfw you have to sustain a family of literal furniture.
No food on fridge? Well star e to death
Starts game.
First words: "I have a happiness bar. That's depressing."
Same, Mark.
I bet if once we have a realtime healthcheck interface build into us we would care more about ourselfs
@@Stubentiger1993 my bars would be all full
@@suffy101 mine would be almost empty
@@Stubentiger1993 my social bar would be low all the time and I would happy about it.
Markiplier: “this is NOT a ripoff of papers please…”
Also markiplier: “yeah I played that ripoff earlier this year”
Imagine if the guy at the DMV talked to you like this . "It would take me $5 to have you killed and I just got $5"
What?
"I have a happiness bar which is depressing because that means it can go down."
Markiplier 2021
If you look closely at 0:00 you can see the video is starting
Thanks bro I never would have caught it
oh dude no way
@@tiktokvictory7644 c
Curse you Parry the platypus
Oh wow I didnt know that thats crazy, thanks man, ✨the more you know✨
17:26 I actually got jump scared 🤣
Markiplier: I have a wife, thank you very much
Also Mark 5 minutes ago: Hanging out at a strip club
Loyalty to the fullest
Mark: "I don't need the tutorial"
Also Mark: "How do I play this game?"
Thank you for your support and that you trust in Markiplier
@@amberator3456 stop
If anything this is like being a security guard still a fun job
Uncanny Valley was played Jan. 28, 2015.
We've gathered 5 neighbors to understand what you've wrote
@@StefanST He probably meant "If anything, this is like being a security guard (still a fun job)" or he could mean "If this is anythimg like being a security guard it's still a fun job"
It's all fun and games until ur the security guard for a Kid's Pizza Place
@@vinnyosuna7012 FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDYS YOOOO
Therapist: Soviet markiplier can’t hurt you he is only in one video
Soviet markiplier: hello comrade
mark: doesn't get "sweet tender loving" from wife
*literally stands up and screams*
Guy: *gets arrested and killed with a gunshot*
Mark: :0 Oh SHI-
UA-cam: We'll be right back after this commercial break!
Markipiler: HE HAS A FORK ARREST HIM!
Also mark: Wait forks aren't illegal, s***.
Random person: *Gets shot*
Mark:"Holy sh-" *Queue in Reese's commercial*
Hero name: Son, His quirk: *Likes chocolate*
Mha fan??
Weeb
Nice
Someone likes mha........ Same here bro
Um, mha?
Mark: "This game is too real".... Stops recording, gets in his car, goes to a rave, has someone executed for smuggling a fork..... NEXT!
all while holding an axe in his hand
Gets home and picks up his clams outside his house that was delivered yesterday
I'm a bit surprised he still wanted to get with his wife after that first time...
Heyyyy you’re a 2 year promoter!
@@deprimentium9892 Indeed I am!
@@firockfinion3326 what a legend, he responded
@@hornetisspider Heh, okay.
26:00 it's too real
Also this game: "You're uncles bed has been stolen by a thief
“Let’s meet in the night ;)”
“She denies me...ok, whatever, it’s fine”
Yeah, crippling debt and poverty *IS* a bit of a turn off XD
Shoot😅
Mark: doesn't put simulator in title.
Everyone: THIS IS NOT OKIE DOKIE!
Hi
My dad promised me a new pc if i hit 200 comments on my recent video in 2 days time. Help guys i really need it🥺🥺,,’
* *Makes theories* *
@@InfinityGaming420 Oh Hi Mark
The flashbacks.... NOOOO
“Officer Markipkier” would be a great spin off of “A heist with Markiplier”
ok
Don’t encourage him. He’d probably do it 😂
(Ngl that would be really cool tho)
My dad promised me a new pc if i hit 200 comments on my recent video in 2 days time. Help guys i really need it🥺🥺,,o
I’d pay to see it
Knowing Mark though, I probably won’t have to unless it was for charity
"I have happiness bar which is depressing because that means it can go down."
Ironic
Someone needs to let Jack know this is a thing.
Nah. We have mark.
@@Guy.WhoAsked but Jack played papers please, he would really enjoy this
yeah
DETAINED
@@PrinceLeviathan DETAINED!
“Oohhh WIFE”
*Gets jumpscared*
“I’m depressed and dead??!!”
Mark never fully trusted his wife after that stunt... they found his body in the river later that year
I don’t get it
@@zefzec4462 I shall then rephrase the joke
My dad promised me a new pc if i hit 200 comments on my recent video in 2 days time. Help guys i really need it🥺🥺,,’
@@NAXTY yeah sure kid, but he’s not a very good dad making you rely on social media for something he could just get you, or something you could work for.
@@dianamaydraw8533 bro it’s a bot
Mark: "I don't need a tutorial, let's just jump into it!"
Mark, a few minutes later: "What do I do? I'm so confused."
9:17 Game shows pop-up box in the lower right-hand corner: "Press E to call next citizen."
Mark: "Can you _go?_ What do I do?"
Mark- singing cheerfully
**gunshot in background**
Mark- continues to cheerfully sing and go home
Idk why but it was so funny to just hear that in the distance and him just be like "yeah"
Thought the same thing
Wife: yeah let’s meet up at night
Mark when he’s tryna sleep:
Thank you for your support and that you trust in Markiplier
I had the video paused on the wrong moment while reading this comment, that's all I'm gonna say 😂
@@ΜαρίαΚαββαδία-γ1ω seriously
**gunshot**
Markiplier: OH SHI-
*ad plays*
Thank you for your support and that you trust in Markiplier
I fucking hate these mid-vid ad runs...
I'd rather have them at the start and finish of the vid ffs. (This isn't the only vid on youtube that does it too. Constantly breaks the pacing of vids man :/ )
@@Guile_The_Exile seriously
@Nugget yeah it is me, Amberator as you know
ბუ ეს ყველაფერი
"chocolate and crazy dance raves...the essentials"
Oh good, I'm not the only one living that way.
And then he died because he couldn't pay his rent 😂😂
Nobody:
Everybody in 2019:"God I wish this year would end already I hate this year."
Everybody in 2020: 25:51
“That means this game is going to be pretty well made... well, not WELL made, but, like, ENOUGH made. It’s gonna be MADE.”
Just imagine:
*Mark in a blonde wig, wearing red acrylics, chewing on some gum*
"Denied!"
Mark was the mastermind all along....
me: man, “son” looks like the annoying boy in polar express
me *sees the officer outside the door* : Tom?
Something surreal watching Mark end his shift so casually while someone is being executed.
Fun Fact: The devs of this game also made Internet Cafe Simulator.
Markiplier: Chopping the wood right at the beginning.
Me: *flashbacks to Damien*
Dude: has fork
Mark: So anyways, I started blasting
19:10 better cars physics than cyberpunk 2076
Fr lol
Yep definitely because cyberpunk 2076 doesn't exist... Unfortunately
Fork: Exist
Mark: I’m about to ruin this whole mans career
Mark: We're too poor to have a clock
Me and Mark in sync: it's like your childhood all over again
Mark literally everytime: "So you have chosen death, then."
"im not going to be good on my first try but- wha- A THIEF STOLE MY UNCLES BED???"
Markiplier: uploads
Everyone: *GOES STRAIGHT TO THE COMMENT SECTION*
My dad promised me a new pc if i hit 200 comments on my recent video in 2 days time. Help guys i really need it🥺🥺,,’
shh, no, these are lies... dont expose me like this
@@SirSkelebone don't worry bro your secrets is safe with me
@Ì Ám ĶèvìñBB1 ok
@@InfinityGaming420 thank god
Me: "Hey Mom can I have Papers Please?"
Mom: "We already have Papers Please at home"
Papers Please at home:
I love when people talk to each other
@@XTwilightX- that's basically this format in a nutshell
👍
“looks like my heads coming”
mark: *visible discomfort*
@Ì Ám ĶèvìñBB1 no
17:20 YO WHAT IN THE ACTUAL GREASY DEV SHIT IS THAT??? 🤣🤣🤣