@blacademic Hi what about if I did something that cause my ex to be mad and is thinking of breaking up with me or on the verge? I apologize sincerely and did not defend myself. I heard him out and even agrees on what some of he said. He said we are done but yet did not block me and still talk, or call me even when he is on a date or over at a woman house that he is currently seeing/hooking up. What should I do? Should there be no contact?
He left me & I decided IMMEDIATELY to disappear & start my healing journey. I miss him terribly, but this no-contact is for me to heal, no other reason. I'm not speaking or thinking negatively of him, I hope he gets what he ultimately wants. He blindsided me & hurt me worse than anyone ever, but I'll deal with this gracefully & with dignity. Rejection is God's protection.
I've found that it gets alot easier when you release the hope and program your mind with logical words and self affirmation💪 ...hope can kill you sometimes.
Agreed, just focus on yourself. Focus on making yourself better for you, not anybody else! Go to the gym, socialise with friends, do some DIY projects or take up old hobbies.
@@Mr.JBGood I lift weights, six times a week two times a day. It’s awesome…. I just left and walked out of a three-year and a half relationship…. July 11, 2024 no contact September 7, 2024… keep lifting, brother💪
Been separated 3yrs now from my ex..we were together for 24yrs with 3 beautiful children..I'M NOW STRONG AND INDEPENDENT AND BEING THE BEST MOM I CAN BE TO MY KIDS..KEPT MYSELF DISTANT AND DISTRACTED..AND THE HURT WAS GONE B4 I KNEW..IT.
replaying media soundbites to make you feel better . . . you probably have zero idea what you typed. I'M NOW STRONG AND INDEPENDENT - independent form whom? did someone hold you hostage and did not feed you? BEING THE BEST MOM I CAN BE - that comes with the responsibility of parenting, do you want accolades for doing your job?
I’m in the same situation. 24 years, high school sweethearts, been through a lifetime of ups and downs - children, job changes, supporting him through all his ambitions even when they failed. He’s dismissive avoidant, he never mentioned there were problems. I’ve gone limited contact as we co-parent, but he will realise what he had and lost. I’m not expecting closure from him. I’m working on myself, but already have been as he’s been distant for so long. I’m caring less about him every day that goes by but still feel discarded and that he’s ungrateful for what he had.
First, as a man you should not care what your ex realizes or thinks. She is your ex for a reason, what is done is done . . .move on. Every second you are thinking about her is time that can be used for something useful. Realize, the only reason you care about her validation is because you are putting on a pedestal - someone who does not care about you, ZERO care. 2nd, never be with someone who does not want you. Make it an effort to remove yourself from that situation. 3rd, never get back with your ex. She is an ex for a reason. Move on with your life and focus on your goals and growth. 3.5 billion women on the planet, stop obsessing over the one that was not meant to be with you.
@@DucAnh263 this may be a surprise to you but you do have a chose. you can feel sorry for yourself or move on. not saying that it's easy, but every action that you take is dictated by you and nobody else. for instance, you can go to the gym, or go to the park, or meet friends, or go volunteer for people who actually have hard life, go volunteer for animal shelter, pickup a hobby, go meet new people . . . . the list goes on and on. the point is that you need "action" to fill your day so that you have less time to feel sorry for yourself. volunteering for people who have it much harder than you can give you a new perspective on life and how fortunate you are to even have the opportunity to experience things like breakup. during Thanksgiving I received a text from my previous place of work. one of the young man who did internship with us, very nice and cool guy was taken to ICU. yesterday his wife updated everyone that he now is on a heart transplant list. He is much younger than me and has been in shape all his life. the point that I am trying to make is that, when you think your life is "bad" realize that your "bad" is actually something not bad at all, it's part of life and most people experience it too (take notes, learn your lesson, and move on to be better). needing a new heart in your 20s however, is not part of the norm. change your perspective and appreciate your time and experiences.
Yep he left me because i bought myself a house and his insecurities came out and left me 2 months ago. I've been finding myself and now on this healing journey. Stronger and wiser. God protected me from what i did not need 🙏 💯
I left him because he’s saying things that makes me feel bad and guilty about the relationship.. and I started no contact for me and it was for the best.. I realize how much he hurts me and made me feel the way I’m feeling.. 😭
To be honest, I don't want what hurt me back in my life… He made his choice to go with his options and I made my choice to love myself and let him go play with someone else… Hopefully they'll protect themselves and their heart…
Exactly, sis! I agree with you wholeheartedly! I'm sick of immature, cheating "men." He cheated and got caught; therefore, I blocked him and never looked back! The front door to my house is not a "saloon-door." He cant' come and go when he wants to. I thank God that I have my own house...and he doesn't have access! GOD BLESS!!!
I watched many of your Vids..they have helped ALOT! But I've come to the conclusion..chase no one if its meant to be,it'll come back.once u train your mind to be stronger than your emotions..u don't even miss em again! Self growth😊
I broke down after 10 days and text. She was receptive and we got back together. After a few days I wanted to chat to sort out out problems just to be shouted at and blocked. She refuses to even communicate so back to no contact. Never reach out first guys. Even if they meet they will still have a feeling of control and know you will come back every time they leave.
The pen they use in the Men in Black movie analogy. After the break-up, your ex put the sunglasses on before you could. They forget everything that happened prior ....you, your relationship, all the good times, your family and friends. That's how they're able to move on so quickly. Grief involves memories and if you try and suppress memories, you can't grieve. Fortunately your ex is human with a conscience and grieving whilst in a relationship with a rebound can't be good
My situation is weird to me and has left me asking myself if she was really into me/loved me or just used me to fill the void until something better came along. I gave her a lot and did just as much for her. I know my worth and I impressed her on many levels. Now she’s backed off, doesn’t want a relationship/commitment and all kinds of excuses. I don’t text or call her like I use to. Funny thing is while I’m showing no contact she’s staying in touch with me with the odd daily text. She confuses me 😂😂
I really loved this, thank you. Thank you for this. You give me hope that it's not the end of the world and that I can be happy and healthy and maybe even find Mr.Right finally.
This was amazing and very touching! You have no idea how much I need of this video. Opened up a little bit of a different perspective for me on where he stands and how he is thinking. And I just really appreciate this video for that
I just found you and wow this is helping me so muvh! Been six months he texts me every two weeks or so saying he forgot so thin at the house we shared.. about three weeks ago called crying saying sorry begging for sex 🙄 I’m quiet and working hard on myself and taking care of my kids! I quit drinking over two months ago he hasn’t quit he’s codependent I’m sure he’s been with hoes.. I’m good though.. it’s been hard I do still love him but the alcohol is what resulted in the ending. I will never go back to drinking like that… I do pray for him to heal. Thank you so much!!❤
Exactly. If you start saying: oh noo, why I love you blabla, its like when a salesman starts to force on you what he want to sell to you, and you said NO, so you will get angry and put off the phone.
The whole point is not to wait. Continually developing yourself is for you. When the person tries to reintroduce themselves to your life, you choose if you want them there. Your control of the situation starts immediately. No contact is not a phase of your relationship with them- any perception of that is literally your relationship with yourself. The previous relationship with them is dead.
"No contact with the ex" is a time to be "In contact with you", that is to work on yourself. It is a time to enjoy being you, and recover/discover/uncover your personality, your boundaries, your flaws, your wounds, your attachment style, needs, emotions, feelings, and sort it all out in order to heal, repair, align, focus, reinforce, secure what constitutes the true you and discard what is the false you who is unsecure, overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, angry, bitter, in distress, in pain, etc. This is what i do regarding my situation. So let us encourage ourselves in this process.
I had to end things even though I loved him deeply, he either didn’t love me back or just emotionally immature, I felt like an option and not important in his life, I was a good woman to him apart from I put his feelings before my own lessons learned!
Its been a week, i notice everyday im blocked on something. all i did was support and treat him like a king! i tried to call juat once to get my house key back, my rings and other belongings and no respose! Its hard because he lives a block away because he had to out from my house for being physical. I DESERVE BETTER
I’m just watching these videos after a 2 week stint, with my first connection with someone, just questioning everything. I can’t imagine how everyone else does
I can tell he regret it when he saw me he kept saying I messed up messed up messed up I know I messed up, then when he saw that his items were still in the same spot and it's been 3 months that really tore him up cuz he's already living with another, then I started thinking why would I want another man to move back with me when all he did was move from women house the women house two women house the women, even though I'm hurt by it still kind of makes me feel like I don't want him anymore now
I’ve been here before. When someone leaves you they’ve somehow convinced themselves that you didn’t care and that propels them forward. The moment they realize you did, all the feelings and emotions they suppressed come rushing back in. Lust is probably what drove him to leave but when he saw your stuff, he probably realized just how much he still loves you. And now he also sees that you genuinely loved him, which is a double edged emotional sword. That’s why I tell people to really be honest about their feelings because cheating blinds a person’s reality. Some realize too late and unfortunately never recover. What goes around comes around. I always mourn first and once I’m healed my exes mourn me second
She told me she hadn’t been happy for a while, spoke to everyone else but me. It’s been 7 weeks, 1 week since I’ve tried no contact. I’m dying haven’t slept properly and just want to work things out. Want to like her posts on insta but resisting as much as possible. What should I do other than keep trying to work on myself, she’s watched all my stories that I’ve posted as well.
@@ahmadelshbasy3222 been 9 months now, we started talking towards the end of last year but she was in a rebound relationship which didn’t last he broke up with her. So she trained talking to me about him all the time, I couldn’t handle it and told her I didn’t want to hear about him. She said then when have nothing to talk about and blocked me. She was watching all my stories but then unblocked me started messaging slightly but I didn’t really engage/ let the convo just die. But it was more her asking for things. She came to get her stuff 3 months ago and said she’d message when she was settled in but haven’t herd anything since she’s recently unfollowed me on socials again but still watches my business page stories So I really don’t know at this point
He broke up with me a few weeks ago because of how I treated him and made him feel less than a man many times... He moved on but told me we don't know what the future lies and things can change.. But, is this what I really want? I love him dearly and we had something special but he let me go. I'm om the contact journey now. It hurts it really does but I'm just loving me now..
It sucks being the one to mess the relationship up. It’s been almost 6 months since we last saw each other and I still love her, meanwhile she moved on and started seeing someone that’s she’s been long distance with for the past few months. I’ve finally gone NC since the first of June, after trying to reach out the first 3-4 months. Hurts every dang day.
We dated for 4 years the last 1.5 was long distance for the majority of it. During the first couple years she would try to end things instead of communicating and we’d work it out and be fine. Then I stepped out on our relationship during long distance, I think I didn’t feel good enough. Biggest regret I’ve had and trying to live with knowing I messed it up.
@@blacademicHi Coach Blac ...I wish if you have video On and Off LTR , I am doing No Contact for 5th time and today is going 8 weeks ...what do you think the chance of getting back is lessen ?
Today is his birthday and I'm not wishing him happy birthday.. He want to be single so I'm letting him live the life he wanted.. And without me. Even when he asked to see me earlier this week I told him NO.. It was very hard to say that.. But I had to
Mr. T.J. … I’ve had lady friends (plutonic friends) argue with me and I do not engage in the argument but go into silent mode. The silence of no contact makes them re-evaluate your value in their life. After about two years, my lady friend moved back near me and called to apologize. Her mom was dying at the time, so she was mad at the world. Basically, if you’re a decent person, they will come back at some level, whether they were just friends or former-lovers. Never argue with women. Listen and acknowledge them. Ask how you can help. Most of the time they needed for you just to be there and listen.
Sounds like you're the toxic one. "I blocked him but if he wants me he'll come back" like what logic is that 😂 That's straight mind games and narcissistic
Ex ended things in jan weve had two text convos that were surface level back in may. Havent really cared and dated a bit. I doubt ill ever go back. No contact is a win win. If she sees this i could not care less keep preaching gospel
I went NC immediately but had a bad day 2.5 months in and looked at her LinkedIn. Realized she would be able to see viewed her profile and I was absolutely crushed. I was working so hard to grow and let go, but felt like i erased it all. Its been a couple weeks since and feeling better. Sucks to think i reset but I'm really focused on letting go of the attachment and letting it be.
pretending to move on is not actually moving on. the whole notion of NC implies that you are actively trying to not contact her . . . that is still simp behavior. you are giving her attention that she simply does not deserve, go out connect with a lot of new people keep you mind healthy and you will quickly realize that all that simping is not good.
@Junoj101 Ive been hustling and changed so much. This was moment of weakness that was built up. I was attached to the idea she would come back. You're right. i wasn't truly letting go. A lot of healing and growth has to be done. I'm grateful to be in the place to do it.
@@jinxedking this is why I am not a fan of NC, it implies that one is still hoping that she will reach out and save the day (very simp behavior), if your man friend told you that they want noting to do with you, you are not going to be like, "okay NC" . . . you simply will move on and make new friends. when a woman rejects you, you simply move on just as you would do if anyone else rejects you. you go out to the market and make many more, you improve yourself so that the opportunity to meet the people that you want also increases. one day you will realize that your behavior was actually conditioned. it's not a natural behavior, it was years upon years of brainwashing from all direction . . . your reaction to someone who dump you was put in your head, that is why you think that you feel this way. if you look at little kids on the playground, they naturally move on when someone rejects them, they naturally make new bonds and do not dwell over the past. this is nature without the brainwash and years of indoctrination.
Hey Coach, somewhat long-time watcher, first time commenter. I broke up with my ex over a year ago and didn't go into NC until recently (no I didn't beg or plead to get back together), mostly because I hadn't heard about it until recently. Been NC for about 2.5 months now and recently it has hurt a lot. Doesn't help that we work at the same place, and she treats me like I don't exist, and I don't try to make any connection (though trying to not ignore her is just as hard). Any advice to how to deal with similar situations? Maybe that could be a topic for a future video. Oh, and to all the people that comment about giving up and moving on. I know I have no say but please stop trying to convince others to just give up. I don't know what your story is/was but some of us really do want to get our respective exes back. I understand that it's not a guarantee, but the hope is still there. And that can be a great motivator to get better. Let people come to your conclusion on their own if that's where things lead. Don't try and force them to see things your way by blasting the comments section with your bad experiences. Just my opinion, not trying to call anyone out. Let's support each other in our struggles right now, not cause more pain. No matter how short term it may be.
Hey Brendon. I have a divorce threat ticking, and trying to stay calm and give the distance and space is driving me nuts. But I can tell you what helped me. The situation we are in is just a situation. It is only bad or good based on how we evaluate it. If I look at it with the optics that I lost the love of my life, my kids, the future together, and my home, it truly is bad. But I can look at it in another way. If I consider that I started to learn to drive a car I was scared of, I dropped 25kg, started to run again, I have the best time with my kids ever, and I look for a better job, I see a huge positive impulse that my wife gave me. Instead of thinking about the hurt, I focus on the positives that rebuild me. She does not care about me or see the changes but will eventually notice them. The better me. But the key was internally accepting that our relationship in its old form is gone, and shifting the perspective on the positives I am suddenly creating about myself helped me to let loose.
I broke up with him because of the situation and i do miss him but i had to walk away. I disapeared, my social media is private but if i open it he will think its for him. But i have accepted our situation
This was right on time. He said he’s so called working on himself & his money is funny blah blah blah. I don’t think he values me. However, he reached out saying. “I hope you had a great day, then sent me a funny Meme. I was very vague in my response. I said “Thanks same to you” & in the meme I responded hilarious with one laughing emoji. Did I do too much?
I see so many people commenting never get back with your x lol but why are you here 😂 stop being a fake ass and accept the truth. I'm here because i fucked up i abuse and Insulted her and i was so comfortable and lazy 🦥 because i thought she would never leave. I stop giving her time and attention so she couldn't sleep and gained weight but when she started going to church and became stronger she left me and wants to go forward in life towards her goals but she said she'll come back in future if I'm single in future she said i must become a better man for myself and take this time to change and stop drinking alcohol and build myself up. I lost a wife so I am trying hard to be a better man for God and for the People around me. Sometimes it's always better to self reflect and change if you feel in your heart that she/he is made for you. But if they sleep around here and there never take them 🔙
I've been in NC 207 days , almost 8 mths, but whose counting ? I get that feeling she ain't reaching out. But I stay the course , she in law enforcement which should pretty well tell you her mindset comply or consequences in her world and in a relationship you need compromise. She can't separate personal and professional. I'm doing OK doing me. Working out , keeping busy with friends 3 Fs. Finances, Fitness, and Fashion. I do miss her but it isn't on me to fix what she broke , I will stay the course and "be the paperclip" cheers, bro ,keep up the great work you do ,-TIW
Coming from someone who’s been a cop for over 6 years and currently has a child with another cop. It’s super super hard to date a first responder. Long shifts, finances like you said and so on. I will say and not trying to be funny, they are some of the most toxic people out there. My bm cheated on me with a married coworker and others as well. I’m far beyond over her and don’t want her back. She currently continues to cheat on her current bf. I will say you are probably better off with her my guy. Especially females in law enforcement. They are the worse. I see it everyday.
you have problems if you know the exact day, and no you are not doing you. move on, the point of NC is to move on, if she reaches back you will have the option to address that. but at this moment you need to move on, find other women . . . 3.5 billion women on earth and you are counting days for the one that does not care about you. this is major simping . . . . move on with you life
I have been off social media for 3 weeks I am trying to rest mentally as I am going though very difficult time… I am trying to focus on myself and healing…
I still cant imagine my life with anyone else but i also cant imagine me forgetting the things she said. Like i don't love you i dont want to settle, etc. i cant settle for her now or i lose.
I AM FILLED WITH TERROR AND ENDLESS PANIC how to heal from PTSD flashbacks? the man I revered as my best friend... raped my soul. he betrayed and abandoned me. discarded me like garbage. replaced me with another. I want to die. he slammed the door on me. I want to die. he did this more than 14 months ago, and I'm still not healed, and I still don't breathe, and I still have nightmares every night. I can definitely detect my patience waning in life... I am filled with, and consumed with, rage and grief. I desperately want to die, I can no longer bear the darkness... I AM SO FUCKING exhausted and depressed: trying to desperately understand someone who doesn’t understand themselves. I’m not vilifying avoidants, but for me, the more I work on understanding my OWN attachment style and becoming secure, the more I get turned off by someone who isn’t doing the same...
She's not coming back. I need to accept that and try to heal and move on. We got our "2nd chance" after being apart for 3 years. Sadly it ended up not working out. During that first breakup we kept in touch and stayed civil and friendly. This time, I have barely heard from her. She has moved on so quickly this time. And what good would it do for her to regret anything, if I never know or she never acts on it? SO sad... 😢
You're offering a noble sentiment, but the ex never comes back. They realize nothing, they learn nothing, and they set a speed record finding a replacement.
Coach, please kindly make a new video on this topic if possible. We are supposed to set a meetup when they reach out after months of NC, right? How can we initiate to ask when they are just texting us as a friend after 1st NC? Go back to NC again until they reach out again? How will going back to NC again change their mindset of treating us as a friend & regret losing us if they already consider us as a friend after the first NC. I am a little bit confused on the reattraction phase/talking phase after months of NC. Btw, I am female.
a man with abundance does not care about NC, because he is getting a lot of contact from others. only a simp is going to think that them games are acceptable.
im sorry to break it to you, but the no contact rule is not certain to work. It can sometimes but it also can’t (it really depends on the kind of breakup you had). No silly no contact rule is going to for sure bring your ex back, so instead of holding onto hope please try your best to move on, it is a lot healthier. He will come back if he decides to, but definitely giving him space will determine that. keep yourself healthy during this hard time.. ❤️🩹
Y’all when I say mine thought that grass was greener on the other side but it was turf 😂😂😂😂!!! She can’t have no kids! She can’t work! She’s very sickly and will eventually need 100% total care! Me and the kids JUST fine! Go head and have fun over there caregiver
He didn’t want to be with me we have 3 kids but he wanted me to stay for his convenienc we lived together … he said I don’t wanna be with you .. then when I decide to leave completely “ I can’t see my life without you”… now I have very minimum contact him has him on DND and he saids I need to take my phone off DND due to the kids I said I don’t just call your phone at random times you can text me when you want to call the kids ect I set boundaries of the way that he has access to me. I’m Focused on self healing working on myself … he’s on social media trynna bang every women and meet new people 😅 coming from a person that says they don’t do social media
I’m struggling with NC. He broke up with after a year and I don’t know why. We’ve talked since the break up a few times but shuts down everytime inask about the relationship. It’s so confusing because the week before he left, he was telling me how much he loved me and was going to show that I deserved to be loved right😢. I’m so confused and hurt. It’s been almost 4 months and I just want to be on the other side of this
If he’s trying to get a hold of, you do not speak to him it’s part of no contact.. I know how you feel… I walked out of a three year relationship… trust me it really hurts… it was July 11, 2024 now it’s September 7, 2024…
My ex hasn't stopped texting me "good morning" and "hope you have a great day" everyday since our break up. Should i even respond? Or wait till an actual conversation pops up? I would like to get back with her, but she doesn't know what she wants.
I would not respond until she writes something that is not crap like "Good morning" text. She's looking for to be sure you're still available. Don't play her game.
So I just got broke up with 4 days ago, literally this video hits home with him obviously being more okay with it than I am. But what my question is…. He wants to stay friends, not hang out soon but want us to share our dogs basically have joint custody of them. It’s hard to go completely no contact like I would like to when I know he is going to be reaching out to want my dog and for me to watch our dog we got together. Our dogs literally have never spend time apart since they were puppies. I know this may seem silly, but it’s a big deal. But I really want to get my ex back and do this process properly. Any advice
DETACH By going no-contact. It creates emotional disconnect and helps you to see “the ex” clearly, instead of through rose colored glasses. If they discarded you, THAT IS how you HAVE TO remember them…as someone who was cruel and threw you away AND what you built together away like ROTTEN trash. It requires rewiring the brain though. The brain wants to fix a problem. So it keeps you strategizing “the how” to fix it but THE ONLY way to truly disconnect and detach is by going no contact.
Don't feel bad I seen mine last week for the first time in three months and I feel like I'm mourning my heartbreak all over again he already moved in with another woman
Hey if it makes you feel better I slept with him the moment I saw him just to prove to him that he wasn't no better than he was with me and to prove to him that he ain't s*** to her and that he's a cheater, it actually kind of made me feel liberated and sad at the same time even though I wish I didn't get myself to him I used a condom to prevent the soul tie re connection, and I blocked him directly afterwards😂😂😂, and then I start thinking 🤔🤔🤔 now why would I want him he's a cheater😂😂😂😂😂, and the fact that I proved him right make it more gratifying lol
Well I aint even know he wasn't together anymore until I called him because he said something to my cousin bout my kids aren't he's was a little bad that's why he aint been around something and he said I thought I told u I just told him how I felt then I hung up .yes I'm still hurt & healing but it feel so harder because I share a baby with him
Hi Coach, after him ghosting me, i did the same. Gave him the silent treatment. Of recent he started reaching out to my children and giving them money. He continues being a friend to my daughters given that ge stays in a different country. Recently i received a text from him wishing me a good day. But thsts how it is.
I dont know what to do because he owes me 3350 and he stole my cat, I am doing no contact but in doing no contact I am letting him away with stealing the money and my beloved pet- I am hoping he realizes he cant do this to me but so far nothing :(
Thanks for watching! If you want to talk about your situation, book a 1 on 1 session here: calendly.com/breakupcoachtj
I needed this video thank you.
Man if you ever come to Seattle lmk! Love your videos, thank you!
Thanks Coach
@@SIRICKOQQ❤❤❤ use
@blacademic
Hi what about if I did something that cause my ex to be mad and is thinking of breaking up with me or on the verge? I apologize sincerely and did not defend myself. I heard him out and even agrees on what some of he said. He said we are done but yet did not block me and still talk, or call me even when he is on a date or over at a woman house that he is currently seeing/hooking up. What should I do? Should there be no contact?
He left me & I decided IMMEDIATELY to disappear & start my healing journey. I miss him terribly, but this no-contact is for me to heal, no other reason. I'm not speaking or thinking negatively of him, I hope he gets what he ultimately wants. He blindsided me & hurt me worse than anyone ever, but I'll deal with this gracefully & with dignity. Rejection is God's protection.
Same. ❤
Wishing you all the best in your healing journey
Wheeeww I wish you nothing but the best and great healing
We're almost the same situation now...
Love reading this
No contact isn't easy, but it's absolutely necessary, invest in yourself, enjoy yourself and make no apologies for it.
I've found that it gets alot easier when you release the hope and program your mind with logical words and self affirmation💪 ...hope can kill you sometimes.
Very true
hope without any action is pointless.
Hope is an Obama word...and we didn't get😊 dhit outta hope or Obama
Agreed, just focus on yourself. Focus on making yourself better for you, not anybody else! Go to the gym, socialise with friends, do some DIY projects or take up old hobbies.
Hopium addicts... Its not a good idea to rely on it. Better to live in reality.
Just focus on yourself and try to get better every day. The best revenge is making yourself happy again.
Break ups make bodybuilders. Break ups make stronger men. Break ups make driven successful men.
And Women
Shouldn't need a break up to do those things
I can't stop lifting weights. Only a week and I'm ripped.
Boom
@@Mr.JBGood I lift weights, six times a week two times a day. It’s awesome…. I just left and walked out of a three-year and a half relationship…. July 11, 2024 no contact September 7, 2024… keep lifting, brother💪
Been separated 3yrs now from my ex..we were together for 24yrs with 3 beautiful children..I'M NOW STRONG AND INDEPENDENT AND BEING THE BEST MOM I CAN BE TO MY KIDS..KEPT MYSELF DISTANT AND DISTRACTED..AND THE HURT WAS GONE B4 I KNEW..IT.
replaying media soundbites to make you feel better . . . you probably have zero idea what you typed.
I'M NOW STRONG AND INDEPENDENT - independent form whom? did someone hold you hostage and did not feed you?
BEING THE BEST MOM I CAN BE - that comes with the responsibility of parenting, do you want accolades for doing your job?
I’m in the same situation. 24 years, high school sweethearts, been through a lifetime of ups and downs - children, job changes, supporting him through all his ambitions even when they failed. He’s dismissive avoidant, he never mentioned there were problems. I’ve gone limited contact as we co-parent, but he will realise what he had and lost. I’m not expecting closure from him. I’m working on myself, but already have been as he’s been distant for so long. I’m caring less about him every day that goes by but still feel discarded and that he’s ungrateful for what he had.
Wow at least you got to procreate, but wow 24 years is a long time for them to change their mind. 😞 Sorry for your loss.
First, as a man you should not care what your ex realizes or thinks. She is your ex for a reason, what is done is done . . .move on. Every second you are thinking about her is time that can be used for something useful. Realize, the only reason you care about her validation is because you are putting on a pedestal - someone who does not care about you, ZERO care.
2nd, never be with someone who does not want you. Make it an effort to remove yourself from that situation.
3rd, never get back with your ex. She is an ex for a reason. Move on with your life and focus on your goals and growth. 3.5 billion women on the planet, stop obsessing over the one that was not meant to be with you.
Real talk...
Factz Bro
I wish it were that easy
BIG talk, but we all know this is like saying "just stop being sad" to a person who is depressed :)
@@DucAnh263 this may be a surprise to you but you do have a chose. you can feel sorry for yourself or move on. not saying that it's easy, but every action that you take is dictated by you and nobody else.
for instance, you can go to the gym, or go to the park, or meet friends, or go volunteer for people who actually have hard life, go volunteer for animal shelter, pickup a hobby, go meet new people . . . . the list goes on and on.
the point is that you need "action" to fill your day so that you have less time to feel sorry for yourself. volunteering for people who have it much harder than you can give you a new perspective on life and how fortunate you are to even have the opportunity to experience things like breakup.
during Thanksgiving I received a text from my previous place of work. one of the young man who did internship with us, very nice and cool guy was taken to ICU. yesterday his wife updated everyone that he now is on a heart transplant list. He is much younger than me and has been in shape all his life.
the point that I am trying to make is that, when you think your life is "bad" realize that your "bad" is actually something not bad at all, it's part of life and most people experience it too (take notes, learn your lesson, and move on to be better). needing a new heart in your 20s however, is not part of the norm. change your perspective and appreciate your time and experiences.
Yep he left me because i bought myself a house and his insecurities came out and left me 2 months ago. I've been finding myself and now on this healing journey. Stronger and wiser. God protected me from what i did not need 🙏 💯
Realized my ex was jealous of me too.
He was constantly competing with me.
@@Missybella92227 you want someone proud of who you are x
That’s just so stupid. Should of supported you and been happy. I don’t understand ppl at times
I’d leave also. The writing was on the wall.
Why would you buying a house be an issue? I have my fair share of insecurities but don't understand that at all.
Your ex is an ex for a reason. Leave it all on the table when you leave and never spin the block
I left him because he’s saying things that makes me feel bad and guilty about the relationship.. and I started no contact for me and it was for the best.. I realize how much he hurts me and made me feel the way I’m feeling.. 😭
Focus on increasing your sense of value and self-worth!
🎉love this
To be honest, I don't want what hurt me back in my life… He made his choice to go with his options and I made my choice to love myself and let him go play with someone else… Hopefully they'll protect themselves and their heart…
Exactly, sis! I agree with you wholeheartedly! I'm sick of immature, cheating "men." He cheated and got caught; therefore, I blocked him and never looked back! The front door to my house is not a "saloon-door." He cant' come and go when he wants to. I thank God that I have my own house...and he doesn't have access! GOD BLESS!!!
Self love and self worth 💯
This blew my mind. The message was crystal clear
I watched many of your Vids..they have helped ALOT! But I've come to the conclusion..chase no one if its meant to be,it'll come back.once u train your mind to be stronger than your emotions..u don't even miss em again! Self growth😊
Bro,You made some really good points!
I broke down after 10 days and text. She was receptive and we got back together. After a few days I wanted to chat to sort out out problems just to be shouted at and blocked. She refuses to even communicate so back to no contact. Never reach out first guys. Even if they meet they will still have a feeling of control and know you will come back every time they leave.
No contact is very easy whenever you already have options and know that women always come back.
Two months still no contact..
The pen they use in the Men in Black movie analogy. After the break-up, your ex put the sunglasses on before you could. They forget everything that happened prior ....you, your relationship, all the good times, your family and friends. That's how they're able to move on so quickly.
Grief involves memories and if you try and suppress memories, you can't grieve.
Fortunately your ex is human with a conscience and grieving whilst in a relationship with a rebound can't be good
My situation is weird to me and has left me asking myself if she was really into me/loved me or just used me to fill the void until something better came along. I gave her a lot and did just as much for her. I know my worth and I impressed her on many levels. Now she’s backed off, doesn’t want a relationship/commitment and all kinds of excuses. I don’t text or call her like I use to. Funny thing is while I’m showing no contact she’s staying in touch with me with the odd daily text. She confuses me 😂😂
I really loved this, thank you. Thank you for this. You give me hope that it's not the end of the world and that I can be happy and healthy and maybe even find Mr.Right finally.
Except you already found Mr. Right. He's waiting to reconnect with you and build something even better. It's not pride, is it?
I so needed to hear this today. Going to do just this!! I know my worth and if he doesn't get it, then see ya! 💪
This was amazing and very touching! You have no idea how much I need of this video. Opened up a little bit of a different perspective for me on where he stands and how he is thinking. And I just really appreciate this video for that
Excellent insight. Nothing I'd thought of for myself but the perfect move for where I'm at.
I just found you and wow this is helping me so muvh! Been six months he texts me every two weeks or so saying he forgot so thin at the house we shared.. about three weeks ago called crying saying sorry begging for sex 🙄 I’m quiet and working hard on myself and taking care of my kids! I quit drinking over two months ago he hasn’t quit he’s codependent I’m sure he’s been with hoes.. I’m good though.. it’s been hard I do still love him but the alcohol is what resulted in the ending. I will never go back to drinking like that… I do pray for him to heal. Thank you so much!!❤
you’re in the right path
I wish you all the best😊
You are so well spoken. Your words really resonated with me. Thank you
That paperclip line though, you sir, are an Eyecon. Keep striving for greatness!
Exactly. If you start saying: oh noo, why I love you blabla, its like when a salesman starts to force on you what he want to sell to you, and you said NO, so you will get angry and put off the phone.
True
Always following and learning while waiting for the no contact to be over
How long have u been in no contact
If you’re smart it’ll be for good 😎 Move on as it rarely works
The whole point is not to wait. Continually developing yourself is for you. When the person tries to reintroduce themselves to your life, you choose if you want them there.
Your control of the situation starts immediately. No contact is not a phase of your relationship with them- any perception of that is literally your relationship with yourself. The previous relationship with them is dead.
"No contact with the ex" is a time to be "In contact with you", that is to work on yourself. It is a time to enjoy being you, and recover/discover/uncover your personality, your boundaries, your flaws, your wounds, your attachment style, needs, emotions, feelings, and sort it all out in order to heal, repair, align, focus, reinforce, secure what constitutes the true you and discard what is the false you who is unsecure, overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, angry, bitter, in distress, in pain, etc.
This is what i do regarding my situation. So let us encourage ourselves in this process.
They end the contact. So let's do our life again. I hurt another too. So best is listen to coach, works
I had to end things even though I loved him deeply, he either didn’t love me back or just emotionally immature, I felt like an option and not important in his life, I was a good woman to him apart from I put his feelings before my own lessons learned!
Its been a week, i notice everyday im blocked on something. all i did was support and treat him like a king! i tried to call juat once to get my house key back, my rings and other belongings and no respose! Its hard because he lives a block away because he had to out from my house for being physical. I DESERVE BETTER
You are more realistic than Matt! 4 min the narc hasnt called!!
I’m just watching these videos after a 2 week stint, with my first connection with someone, just questioning everything. I can’t imagine how everyone else does
Thank U for the clarity. God Bless ❤❤
Good House to relationship Analogy.
I can tell he regret it when he saw me he kept saying I messed up messed up messed up I know I messed up, then when he saw that his items were still in the same spot and it's been 3 months that really tore him up cuz he's already living with another, then I started thinking why would I want another man to move back with me when all he did was move from women house the women house two women house the women, even though I'm hurt by it still kind of makes me feel like I don't want him anymore now
I’ve been here before. When someone leaves you they’ve somehow convinced themselves that you didn’t care and that propels them forward. The moment they realize you did, all the feelings and emotions they suppressed come rushing back in. Lust is probably what drove him to leave but when he saw your stuff, he probably realized just how much he still loves you. And now he also sees that you genuinely loved him, which is a double edged emotional sword. That’s why I tell people to really be honest about their feelings because cheating blinds a person’s reality. Some realize too late and unfortunately never recover. What goes around comes around. I always mourn first and once I’m healed my exes mourn me second
Once again!! The truth has been spoken ❤
She told me she hadn’t been happy for a while, spoke to everyone else but me. It’s been 7 weeks, 1 week since I’ve tried no contact. I’m dying haven’t slept properly and just want to work things out. Want to like her posts on insta but resisting as much as possible. What should I do other than keep trying to work on myself, she’s watched all my stories that I’ve posted as well.
Updates ???
Any updates ?
@@ahmadelshbasy3222 been 9 months now, we started talking towards the end of last year but she was in a rebound relationship which didn’t last he broke up with her. So she trained talking to me about him all the time, I couldn’t handle it and told her I didn’t want to hear about him. She said then when have nothing to talk about and blocked me.
She was watching all my stories but then unblocked me started messaging slightly but I didn’t really engage/ let the convo just die. But it was more her asking for things.
She came to get her stuff 3 months ago and said she’d message when she was settled in but haven’t herd anything since she’s recently unfollowed me on socials again but still watches my business page stories
So I really don’t know at this point
U saving Soulz Champ keep up the good work! 👊
Thanks my brother 🙏
Ur analogies r amazing bro. U have found ur calling! Tks for the wise words in these tough times.
He broke up with me a few weeks ago because of how I treated him and made him feel less than a man many times... He moved on but told me we don't know what the future lies and things can change.. But, is this what I really want? I love him dearly and we had something special but he let me go. I'm om the contact journey now. It hurts it really does but I'm just loving me now..
Thanks it's like a saying we have in ireland stand back and let the dog see the rabbit thank you,
Thank you, great encouragement!
It sucks being the one to mess the relationship up. It’s been almost 6 months since we last saw each other and I still love her, meanwhile she moved on and started seeing someone that’s she’s been long distance with for the past few months.
I’ve finally gone NC since the first of June, after trying to reach out the first 3-4 months.
Hurts every dang day.
How did you mess up the relationship?
We dated for 4 years the last 1.5 was long distance for the majority of it. During the first couple years she would try to end things instead of communicating and we’d work it out and be fine. Then I stepped out on our relationship during long distance, I think I didn’t feel good enough. Biggest regret I’ve had and trying to live with knowing I messed it up.
@@blacademicHi Coach Blac ...I wish if you have video On and Off LTR , I am doing No Contact for 5th time and today is going 8 weeks ...what do you think the chance of getting back is lessen ?
@@blacademic hope you are doing well! Love your live shows. When are they scheduled for weekly? Thanks!
Today is his birthday and I'm not wishing him happy birthday.. He want to be single so I'm letting him live the life he wanted.. And without me. Even when he asked to see me earlier this week I told him NO.. It was very hard to say that.. But I had to
Mr. T.J. … I’ve had lady friends (plutonic friends) argue with me and I do not engage in the argument but go into silent mode. The silence of no contact makes them re-evaluate your value in their life. After about two years, my lady friend moved back near me and called to apologize. Her mom was dying at the time, so she was mad at the world. Basically, if you’re a decent person, they will come back at some level, whether they were just friends or former-lovers. Never argue with women. Listen and acknowledge them. Ask how you can help. Most of the time they needed for you just to be there and listen.
I called it quits because he really didn't value me. I blocked him on everything. I do miss him but if he wants me he'll come to me.
How is someone going to come to you when you blocked them lol
😂 u want to be chased by who
Sounds like you're the toxic one. "I blocked him but if he wants me he'll come back" like what logic is that 😂
That's straight mind games and narcissistic
@@limaflavio7926 they know were they live
Is that being childish blocking him?…
Ex ended things in jan weve had two text convos that were surface level back in may. Havent really cared and dated a bit. I doubt ill ever go back. No contact is a win win. If she sees this i could not care less keep preaching gospel
I went NC immediately but had a bad day 2.5 months in and looked at her LinkedIn. Realized she would be able to see viewed her profile and I was absolutely crushed. I was working so hard to grow and let go, but felt like i erased it all. Its been a couple weeks since and feeling better. Sucks to think i reset but I'm really focused on letting go of the attachment and letting it be.
linkedin shows you who viewed their profile?? You must have been logged into your account when you looked at her page
@godlover4life4 yea. I completely forgot I had created one a while back because I was in the process of transitioning jobs.
pretending to move on is not actually moving on. the whole notion of NC implies that you are actively trying to not contact her . . . that is still simp behavior. you are giving her attention that she simply does not deserve, go out connect with a lot of new people keep you mind healthy and you will quickly realize that all that simping is not good.
@Junoj101 Ive been hustling and changed so much. This was moment of weakness that was built up. I was attached to the idea she would come back. You're right. i wasn't truly letting go. A lot of healing and growth has to be done. I'm grateful to be in the place to do it.
@@jinxedking this is why I am not a fan of NC, it implies that one is still hoping that she will reach out and save the day (very simp behavior), if your man friend told you that they want noting to do with you, you are not going to be like, "okay NC" . . . you simply will move on and make new friends. when a woman rejects you, you simply move on just as you would do if anyone else rejects you. you go out to the market and make many more, you improve yourself so that the opportunity to meet the people that you want also increases.
one day you will realize that your behavior was actually conditioned. it's not a natural behavior, it was years upon years of brainwashing from all direction . . . your reaction to someone who dump you was put in your head, that is why you think that you feel this way.
if you look at little kids on the playground, they naturally move on when someone rejects them, they naturally make new bonds and do not dwell over the past. this is nature without the brainwash and years of indoctrination.
Brilliant analogy the paper clip and the house. 👍
Hey Coach, somewhat long-time watcher, first time commenter. I broke up with my ex over a year ago and didn't go into NC until recently (no I didn't beg or plead to get back together), mostly because I hadn't heard about it until recently. Been NC for about 2.5 months now and recently it has hurt a lot. Doesn't help that we work at the same place, and she treats me like I don't exist, and I don't try to make any connection (though trying to not ignore her is just as hard). Any advice to how to deal with similar situations? Maybe that could be a topic for a future video.
Oh, and to all the people that comment about giving up and moving on. I know I have no say but please stop trying to convince others to just give up. I don't know what your story is/was but some of us really do want to get our respective exes back. I understand that it's not a guarantee, but the hope is still there. And that can be a great motivator to get better. Let people come to your conclusion on their own if that's where things lead. Don't try and force them to see things your way by blasting the comments section with your bad experiences. Just my opinion, not trying to call anyone out. Let's support each other in our struggles right now, not cause more pain. No matter how short term it may be.
Hey Brendon. I have a divorce threat ticking, and trying to stay calm and give the distance and space is driving me nuts. But I can tell you what helped me. The situation we are in is just a situation. It is only bad or good based on how we evaluate it. If I look at it with the optics that I lost the love of my life, my kids, the future together, and my home, it truly is bad. But I can look at it in another way. If I consider that I started to learn to drive a car I was scared of, I dropped 25kg, started to run again, I have the best time with my kids ever, and I look for a better job, I see a huge positive impulse that my wife gave me. Instead of thinking about the hurt, I focus on the positives that rebuild me. She does not care about me or see the changes but will eventually notice them. The better me. But the key was internally accepting that our relationship in its old form is gone, and shifting the perspective on the positives I am suddenly creating about myself helped me to let loose.
I broke up with him because of the situation and i do miss him but i had to walk away. I disapeared, my social media is private but if i open it he will think its for him. But i have accepted our situation
This was right on time. He said he’s so called working on himself & his money is funny blah blah blah. I don’t think he values me. However, he reached out saying. “I hope you had a great day, then sent me a funny Meme. I was very vague in my response. I said “Thanks same to you” & in the meme I responded hilarious with one laughing emoji. Did I do too much?
Thanks Coach ❤
Thank you 🙏
I see so many people commenting never get back with your x lol but why are you here 😂 stop being a fake ass and accept the truth. I'm here because i fucked up i abuse and Insulted her and i was so comfortable and lazy 🦥 because i thought she would never leave. I stop giving her time and attention so she couldn't sleep and gained weight but when she started going to church and became stronger she left me and wants to go forward in life towards her goals but she said she'll come back in future if I'm single in future she said i must become a better man for myself and take this time to change and stop drinking alcohol and build myself up. I lost a wife so I am trying hard to be a better man for God and for the People around me. Sometimes it's always better to self reflect and change if you feel in your heart that she/he is made for you. But if they sleep around here and there never take them 🔙
Your theories are good BUT GIVE EXAMPLES of how to implement
I've been in NC 207 days , almost 8 mths, but whose counting ? I get that feeling she ain't reaching out. But I stay the course , she in law enforcement which should pretty well tell you her mindset comply or consequences in her world and in a relationship you need compromise. She can't separate personal and professional. I'm doing OK doing me. Working out , keeping busy with friends 3 Fs. Finances, Fitness, and Fashion. I do miss her but it isn't on me to fix what she broke , I will stay the course and "be the paperclip" cheers, bro ,keep up the great work you do ,-TIW
Coming from someone who’s been a cop for over 6 years and currently has a child with another cop. It’s super super hard to date a first responder. Long shifts, finances like you said and so on. I will say and not trying to be funny, they are some of the most toxic people out there. My bm cheated on me with a married coworker and others as well. I’m far beyond over her and don’t want her back. She currently continues to cheat on her current bf. I will say you are probably better off with her my guy. Especially females in law enforcement. They are the worse. I see it everyday.
@@dongy762 whole facts.
you have problems if you know the exact day, and no you are not doing you. move on, the point of NC is to move on, if she reaches back you will have the option to address that. but at this moment you need to move on, find other women . . . 3.5 billion women on earth and you are counting days for the one that does not care about you. this is major simping . . . . move on with you life
EXCELLENT ADVICE
VERRRRRY HELPFUL I WILL BE LISTENING TO MORE!! ❤
I have been off social media for 3 weeks I am trying to rest mentally as I am going though very difficult time…
I am trying to focus on myself and healing…
Lovely lesson coach
Damn. Always says just what i need for today...now. and future. Tooo much of a coincidence. Last i saw her i busted out my lense.
It's funny u say all this, I'm like coach is value. Love the way u teach . When re r u cool,people at. I've been dad forever. Coach knows his stuff
I still cant imagine my life with anyone else but i also cant imagine me forgetting the things she said. Like i don't love you i dont want to settle, etc. i cant settle for her now or i lose.
Now i'll focus on myself
You are so right
I AM FILLED WITH TERROR
AND ENDLESS PANIC
how to heal from PTSD flashbacks?
the man I revered as my best friend...
raped my soul.
he betrayed and abandoned me.
discarded me like garbage.
replaced me with another.
I want to die.
he slammed the door on me.
I want to die.
he did this more than 14 months ago,
and I'm still not healed,
and I still don't breathe,
and I still have nightmares every night.
I can definitely detect my patience waning in life...
I am filled with, and consumed with, rage and grief.
I desperately want to die, I can no longer bear the darkness...
I AM SO FUCKING exhausted and depressed:
trying to desperately understand someone
who doesn’t understand themselves.
I’m not vilifying avoidants, but for me,
the more I work on understanding my OWN attachment style and becoming secure,
the more I get turned off by someone who isn’t doing the same...
😢😢😢so broken
So sorry🙏
He's with someone else. He's not missing me.
Just because he's with someone else does not mean he's happy. Pride and ego in some people are so big
She's not coming back. I need to accept that and try to heal and move on. We got our "2nd chance" after being apart for 3 years. Sadly it ended up not working out. During that first breakup we kept in touch and stayed civil and friendly. This time, I have barely heard from her. She has moved on so quickly this time. And what good would it do for her to regret anything, if I never know or she never acts on it? SO sad... 😢
Very well said 👏👏
How do I increase the price of meeting with me and talking about things when she comes back? Can you please give a couple examples? Thank you!
Talk less. Leave sooner. You're busy now!
Thank you!
I was mean and rude. But I did everything cook, clean and more. Idk it’s ok I let it go. Ready to receive someone new in my life.
You're offering a noble sentiment, but the ex never comes back. They realize nothing, they learn nothing, and they set a speed record finding a replacement.
Fizzacts, coach, ALL FIZZACTS!!!
I woman will do that.. a man won’t allow himself to beg even if he was in the wrong
Wise words
Should you block them on Social Media?
Hanging onto hope is the worst 😔
Coach, please kindly make a new video on this topic if possible. We are supposed to set a meetup when they reach out after months of NC, right? How can we initiate to ask when they are just texting us as a friend after 1st NC? Go back to NC again until they reach out again? How will going back to NC again change their mindset of treating us as a friend & regret losing us if they already consider us as a friend after the first NC. I am a little bit confused on the reattraction phase/talking phase after months of NC. Btw, I am female.
a man with abundance does not care about NC, because he is getting a lot of contact from others. only a simp is going to think that them games are acceptable.
im sorry to break it to you, but the no contact rule is not certain to work. It can sometimes but it also can’t (it really depends on the kind of breakup you had). No silly no contact rule is going to for sure bring your ex back, so instead of holding onto hope please try your best to move on, it is a lot healthier. He will come back if he decides to, but definitely giving him space will determine that. keep yourself healthy during this hard time.. ❤️🩹
@@mikaylalindsay6028 Thank you for your words. I hope so. :(
Thanx coach you the best 🫠💫
Thanks for watching! 🤞🏿
Y’all when I say mine thought that grass was greener on the other side but it was turf 😂😂😂😂!!! She can’t have no kids! She can’t work! She’s very sickly and will eventually need 100% total care! Me and the kids JUST fine! Go head and have fun over there caregiver
He didn’t want to be with me we have 3 kids but he wanted me to stay for his convenienc we lived together … he said I don’t wanna be with you .. then when I decide to leave completely “ I can’t see my life without you”… now I have very minimum contact him has him on DND and he saids I need to take my phone off DND due to the kids I said I don’t just call your phone at random times you can text me when you want to call the kids ect I set boundaries of the way that he has access to me. I’m Focused on self healing working on myself … he’s on social media trynna bang every women and meet new people 😅 coming from a person that says they don’t do social media
Won’t no contact turn them further away
I’m struggling with NC. He broke up with after a year and I don’t know why. We’ve talked since the break up a few times but shuts down everytime inask about the relationship. It’s so confusing because the week before he left, he was telling me how much he loved me and was going to show that I deserved to be loved right😢. I’m so confused and hurt. It’s been almost 4 months and I just want to be on the other side of this
If he’s trying to get a hold of, you do not speak to him it’s part of no contact.. I know how you feel… I walked out of a three year relationship… trust me it really hurts… it was July 11, 2024 now it’s September 7, 2024…
My ex hasn't stopped texting me "good morning" and "hope you have a great day" everyday since our break up. Should i even respond? Or wait till an actual conversation pops up? I would like to get back with her, but she doesn't know what she wants.
I would not respond until she writes something that is not crap like "Good morning" text. She's looking for to be sure you're still available. Don't play her game.
So I just got broke up with 4 days ago, literally this video hits home with him obviously being more okay with it than I am. But what my question is…. He wants to stay friends, not hang out soon but want us to share our dogs basically have joint custody of them. It’s hard to go completely no contact like I would like to when I know he is going to be reaching out to want my dog and for me to watch our dog we got together. Our dogs literally have never spend time apart since they were puppies. I know this may seem silly, but it’s a big deal. But I really want to get my ex back and do this process properly. Any advice
DETACH By going no-contact. It creates emotional disconnect and helps you to see “the ex” clearly, instead of through rose colored glasses. If they discarded you, THAT IS how you HAVE TO remember them…as someone who was cruel and threw you away AND what you built together away like ROTTEN trash. It requires rewiring the brain though. The brain wants to fix a problem. So it keeps you strategizing “the how” to fix it but THE ONLY way to truly disconnect and detach is by going no contact.
Doubt it..I was good for a couple weeks but since Sunday all I’ve felt is sadness out of nowhere after seeing him Saturday
Hey f that. I felt the same ,hurts like a motherf.. ma'am sir. Let's hold on,follow coach
Don't feel bad I seen mine last week for the first time in three months and I feel like I'm mourning my heartbreak all over again he already moved in with another woman
Hey if it makes you feel better I slept with him the moment I saw him just to prove to him that he wasn't no better than he was with me and to prove to him that he ain't s*** to her and that he's a cheater, it actually kind of made me feel liberated and sad at the same time even though I wish I didn't get myself to him I used a condom to prevent the soul tie re connection, and I blocked him directly afterwards😂😂😂, and then I start thinking 🤔🤔🤔 now why would I want him he's a cheater😂😂😂😂😂, and the fact that I proved him right make it more gratifying lol
Well I aint even know he wasn't together anymore until I called him because he said something to my cousin bout my kids aren't he's was a little bad that's why he aint been around something and he said I thought I told u I just told him how I felt then I hung up .yes I'm still hurt & healing but it feel so harder because I share a baby with him
Hi Coach, after him ghosting me, i did the same. Gave him the silent treatment. Of recent he started reaching out to my children and giving them money. He continues being a friend to my daughters given that ge stays in a different country. Recently i received a text from him wishing me a good day. But thsts how it is.
He left because he can only marry with same culture 😅 I guess nothing I can do about it 🤷♀️
Marriage is a different thing. It’s not BF or GF thing. Couple must sit down as an adult to talk and work things out.
why?
What if he cheats while no contact?
He sounds like me after a 80mg edible.
I dont know what to do because he owes me 3350 and he stole my cat, I am doing no contact but in doing no contact I am letting him away with stealing the money and my beloved pet- I am hoping he realizes he cant do this to me but so far nothing :(
Get your money! Assuming it wasn’t a gift. Do what is in your best interest first
Wow that’s crazy.. I hope it works out for u 🙏🏼
Rescue the CAT!
always here
I'm I considered the dumper or dumpee if I told her to let's go our separate ways and then attempted to take it back she said no 👎.
Ion even think I want her back right now but I just want her to realize what she missed out on that’s all 😈😎