I appreciate your perspective, I feel there’s some extra relevance from you since my ex spent the first 30 years of his life in Nigeria. We were together 5.5 years, I finally went no contact a week ago. In hindsight I don’t know who broke up with who, it was messy and awful, I’m so confused.
I'm back together with my ex after being broken up for a year. I tried for 2 months to stay connected, then went no contact for 6 months and worked on myself. When I finally felt strong enough I reached out to him and he was receptive. We started hanging out, talking and building a friendship. Four months after reconnecting he told me he wanted to get back together. The year we broke up was very difficult, but ended up being a blessing because I found my worth and value. Our relationship is better than ever. Please take the time to take care of yourself. Stay strong!
That's a great thing, I'm in the same situation, girlfriend asked for a pause, she said she wants to start all over, we are separated since beginning of March, it was hell for 2 months, I know what I did wrong, we never had any fights but we matched a lot, both of us never had anyone matching in so many , I can't forget her and I hope she will be back sometime, never felt this in any of my previous relationships
Thank you for sharing. I've been in no contact for almost four months, and it's been rough. I know I still have a lot of work to still do to better myself. Your story gives me a boost of hope that my ex and I have a chance of getting back together. Again, thank you for sharing.
Aww I always appreciate happy endings like this. I'm glad it worked out for you guys. Best of luck to you both. I don't know if I would go back to an ex. They already showed you how much they "cared" when you needed them the most. I hope this time, it DOES last for you guys but I honestly don't know the success rate of second chance relationships. Just being realisitc.
My ex and I went through separation and then broke up. We both had things going on that were affecting us and had a big loss in communication. No contact was done in both scenarios. She reached out. We started texting, met up in person and now working back to being better for eachother. She loves the way I have always treated her. All I can say is be patient and don't rush. It's hard but patience will pay off. Know your value and what you brought. If it was positive, things will come together within divine timing. Don't dwell on the past and work toward a better tomorrow. You can't move forward if you're constantly looking back. Be a better version of yourself going back and make sure they are doing the same. It takes two on all ends for it to work out.
This is brilliant. I walked away two weeks ago after being offered a placeholder situationship for the second time. I took a little over two weeks to immerse in the grief process. Today I'm singing again, I value my strength, I'm envisioning my future, and I feel content on my own. Walk my People. Walk away and have ZERO expectations except living life on your terms.
I did the same thing almost four months ago. Just a word of advice..at first you feel strong, but there will be times when you question your decision. Stay strong it's just your psyche trying to play tricks on you. Especially during the times when you feel lonely. Stay strong! You got his.
@@valentine-p2r Thank you. I've already healed up. I'm focused on my business and moving toward financial abundance. I was the problem because I was allowing toxic behavior. I'm not a victim, and my life is my responsibility. Their behavior triggers the healing process. I'd been in it for 2 years to date on the 29th of Aug. This was the final chapter. Best to you on your journey.
Coach Blac is spot on!!! My ex came back after 3 months!! Strength and patience is 🔑 know your worth and keep it moving and you will be surprised what that does to you! ❤
Mine literally came back yesterday 😅 we had a rocky relationship 6 years ago, he says he’s serious about finding a relationship and wants to give it another shot… I want to take things slow, he was my first love
Wow mine is stubborn man I wish she would come back I broke no contact she gave me blocked so I had a texting app she just ignored me she is done forever man I hate it
I’ve invested so much and I’ve changed so much to comfort the person I love. I know they felt they did the same. I need to focus on my own health and well being regardless. I wish I could turn my brain off for a while, so tired ❤
Great analogy. I did so much for her to make her life better and easy and I guess she didn’t appreciate it. I retain my value and I am now thinking she doesn’t deserve me. I am realizing that she no longer has much value to me. No contact indefinitely at this point. Stay strong everyone!
You forgot to add a disclaimer that this advice is not applicable to narcissistic/toxic relationships. Go no contact to protect your well being and don’t ever look back.
3 months into no contact with my dismissive avoidant ex. She's moved on and I'm dust to her. I've watch hundreds of these videos but I'm still traumatised.
@BenderBekdemir hi we were formally together a year but also 6 months leading up to that we were best friends seeing each other every day. She was taking marriage, kids, rings a day before, I was taking to her family all the time. Any way, it's been 8 months. We had one chat, and she has no intention of getting back. I've also realised it's never going to happen. As hard as it was, life goes on. Took lots of healing.
@TANGALOA292 thanks for reaching out. Yes after 5 months I touched base. She was polite and happy to hear from me, however even though she said she was still single, she had no intention of getting back. She said friends would be nice. I was not willing to go down that path again. It's 11 months now and the last couple I have healed a lot. I miss her but I'm no longer traumatised by it all. I'm happily getting on with life. I know now clearly she will most likely never have a long term relationship with a guy that treats her well. I think she is more comfortable with a guy that hangs with his mates and won't threaten her independence. I do wish her well.
@@droflivelife thank you bro for the comment even if she wanted you only as a friend.If you truly love her and feel like she's the only one for you i suggest you try to make it work with her. If you think the same thing will happen it's better to move on. I'm currently in the same situation as you were. I'm basically dust to my ex but i really love we've been together for 3 years and seeing how your ex wanted to be friends with still gives me hope of my ex because if she ever decides to let me back into her life, it will most likely be more than friendship and I'm praying to god everyday for this to happen because i genuinely love her and i can't love anyone else, especially since she has some health problems that i want to solve and just hug her all the time 💔
@@droflivelifeyea bro it's crazy but it's the route these women are going these days she doesn't want u to threaten her independence which isn't what it is they just wanna do what they want with no consequences no accountability which is childish asf but choose the guy who really doesn't care about her
Almost 80 days into NC. My ex girlfriend started dating someone new almost 1 month after breaking up with me and is now in a new relationship with her new supply. I can’t take her back any longer but my heart aches for the days we’ve spent together
That's somewhat the same thing I'm going thru and its messed up because I was overall really good to my ex but she wanted to be with someone instead of trying to fix what we had so I gotta let go and take time to heal and move on
To: rohatkickboxer Would you be willing to chat with me please? Could really use someone to talk to like you because this exact thing happened to me too. Almost 3 year relationship and a month after breakup she found someone on Zoosk that lives 1 hour from her and I only lived 30 minutes. I'd love to talk to someone that I can 100% relate to. I'll give you my cell if you are okay with talking Thanks in advance and I'm sorry this happened to you also
Its just really hurtful that you can really love someone and would give them the world but once something doesn't go as planned they just mistreat you different and move on to the next
For me this was of your best messages. All of your videos are outstanding, but this one really struck home. "Never forget your value". I needed that today. Thank You, Coach Blacc..
Coach Blac, had to pause the video to make a comment. I NEED this. Thank you SO much. Keep them coming. I can't donate now but I hope to at a later point. I just wanted you to know that your words are encouraging and comforting me. I appreciate how you are pouring into us. I am finally coming out of a bad place. I just need to keep going. God bless you!
I LOVE haggling! My mom is a pro and taught me well! But I will never haggle with an ex..they want to leave? Be gone. I have plenty of options. Yeah I wish he at least talked to me before he dipped, but the fact that he didn’t just makes the prospect of him returning worse imo. I don’t know if I have it in me to hear him out. Cowards can get less value people, I deserve a lot better than the way he did me. And I feel the way you end something should honor what you had and show integrity and care for the other person’s mental health unless something crazy happened to end things. It shows you’re selfish and that’s not a person I can entertain again without a lot of show and prove
Brotha! This is the best online dating advice video yet. No games played just facts! Appreciate this one. No science just true facts! They will know and miss what they left.
My ex told me she lost “those” feelings for me after 9 years.. she told me this in December. We have 3 kids together and still live in the same house. We don’t have any hard feelings against each other. She will get a new apartment in march.. and when the day comes I will focus on no contact because I still love here..
@@SparkySteve. Well we are still separated and have the kids every other week. I did try everything to get her back in the beginning. But then I started no contact so now we only talk about the kids. 2 months ago she told me she missed me and stuff, we talked for hours about everything. But nothing has happened after that. So I live my life and she live hers.
Ive lost him due to my ptsd 😭 he can’t handle it anymore.. I sometimes treat him so wrong.. we were best friends love him so much. He told me to work on myself
I'm going thru the same, ptsd, 14 years of relationship. She took me in a discussion to reach an episode and left me recently.. I don't know what to do..
Man this guy is the best. Im feeling a lot of these words but my situation i dont really see much on UA-cam, been together with my wife for 15 years and are now seperated for 6month It's awful, 3 kids and really almost impossible to go no contact but its the only way to make them see theyv fucked up
Woooooow this sounds like my situation. She was projecting the fear of being hurt on me from her childhood trauma and plus her mom passed away while we were dating. She wanted more time from me but due to me working so much I couldn’t give it to her so I said let’s be friends. But then I started falling for her and she pulled away. Eventually she said she had no more feelings for me and there was a 1% chance that she would give someone another chance. I was there for her through her pain. Even traveling hundreds of miles out of my way to see her. She claims all that I did for her meant nothing to her. This is my first time ever dealing with something like this. She even said I didn’t bare any fruit in her life. I tried convincing her to stay but she refused. I’ve been going no contact for 40 days. I’ve been wanting her to hit me up. Trying to stay strong but I sometimes feel all hope is lost. Sometimes I can’t think straight when thinking about her. But I know I must move on. I appreciate your videos. They’re really giving me a clear understanding of what’s happening
Hi , I'm from India, I always watch ur videos, and I feel confident and comfortable after watching them , me & boyfriend were in A very good relationship for about a year, but slowly he lost interest, by mouth he say that he loves me but by behaviour I feel like he has no interest in me , and slowly there was very less concentration between us, and it's been 27days now he changed the job and dint try to call or msg me once , so I felt ignored and I also never tried to reach him ... I'm following the no contact rule, just waiting for the day if he realises my value and come back ...
Day 5 of Limited contact with the mother of my kids I chased and begged for 2 months but when I found this channel literally 6 days ago it changed my whole aspect on things I have 3 kids with this girl been knowing her since I was 12 we are both 27 been on and off since we was kids and spent 6 years together and she cheated on me 😞 I never got any closure the moment she cheated she treated me like I never mattered she still is talking to the guy that she cheated on me with and honestly they can have eachother I just never wanted a broken family I met her March 2nd 2011 I was going to propose this year March 2nd 2024 but that changed keep yall heads up Kings and Queens Things get better let time run it’s course
Same shit i’m going through man! 11 year relationship and we have 3 kids together. I was planning on proposing this year as well and it all went to shit at the end of January
I know what a Nigerian market place looks like - it’s a very crowded area where many people are out hustling or selling foods, clothing, and etc. in this open space and down this long uneven and broken street next to railroad tracks and wet puddles. I want to visit this place .
This man’s advice really works me and my ex girlfriend just talked last night after about a month and we’re going to try again i know it seems impossible sometimes but it worked for me and I couldn’t be happier
The thing is, 2.5 months post breakup, 2 months NC, after 3 years together. I offered her so much more value than she ever offered me. Yes she dumped me but i know that doesnt define my value. She will continue to live in her perpetual misrey and i will grow from this and be stronger than ever before.
The analogy is top tier! Just a day ago I left him, but we were already not together. I just made an agreement that we will stop the communication once the year ends (2023), to which he agreed, well sort of hahaha. July 2023 he broke up with me but we stayed in contact until November and 1st week of November we were in bad terms that lead him to hang up the video call and by then we stopped communicating. Around December he reached out and I was only able to read his msg 2 days after he sent it. By then that's when I decided about the agreement. He didn't want to since he want me to stay but not saying anything like wanting to get back together, but then I know better and I know I deserve better. His pride and ego eating him up. Strong connections was there. I was waiting for him to say the words, but his ego and pride tho.... So by the time the day came to an end, of course we both cried. His words and actions are telling me he wants me to say, but he didn't say anything that he wants me to. I wanted it to hear from him, but he didn't. So I left, blocked him on New Year. Heart breaking for real, cause I know he loves me still and so do I. But I wanted him to man up and say things, but he didn't.
We went on a 1 month vacation with my gf and it was full of fights and break ups make ups. She treats me with no respect and no appreciation, like if I had no value and she is the catch, even if I know it is completely the opposite. She behaves like this more often the last times, specially when she gets her period. I'm not perfect, I am very impatient, hard with words and cause a lot of arguments but I told her what I think, and she disrespected me even more. She told me to disappear for sometime and come back when I have a better attitude. Your videos are making me consider, that the only way to repair this or the only way forward is to walk away, because trying to fix it just seems to make things worse. If she is blind to all the benefits I bring into her life, she is spoiled.
Excellent presentation. My hope has been waning after 10 months apart - but only 4 months NC I'm ashamed to say. Although I have every intention of never contacting my true love again, you have given me a ray of hope that I will hear from her once more. If not so be it, her loss.
Thank you Coach Blac, for a very helpful advice, specially in this stage I am healing. After all the cheating he has done, the lies he is denying consistently, I choose to walk away and forgive him even he doesn't ask, for my own peace. Stay strong beautiful hearts, we deserve the right love and it's out there, one day we will be happy and loved the way we all deserve. ❤
Thank you for this perspective. I agree and the price bargaining was a common thing in my childhood. My parents are from the Caribbean islands and my mom was a pro at negotiating. 🙏❤️
good analogy with the hundos and retention of value...main facet where it's not an equivalent is that the exes have enjoyed the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and know - from their past - comparative value - they dont need to experience a monkey branch or rebound to know the value of those hundreds. whereas a stranger on the street may want to avid being conned or being part of a blooper. your pops sounds like a dope cat... wheeling and dealing at the bazaar to setting on fair market. that 'ancient' dance is fun...so long as it's done with mutual respect between buyer and seller and not that stereotypical stinginess that always feels offputting.
It’s been like many months already. I don’t think he’s coming back. But my ex before this ex added me on facebook 5 years after we broke up. So, they do come back but it may take alot of time. He rejected me and broke me and now he is all alone wishing he had someone. Tables do turn.
My ex and I broke up a month ago. It started off as a break and then she just had time to think about it and realized something. The reason why we broke up had nothing to do with us cheating on eachother or losing feelings, she was worried about her parents approval. I chased her and begged for 2 weeks and then I started no contact. Trying to stay strong and work on my self during this time and she will find her way back, because nothing affected our bond. But right now, we are not talking. We only see eachother at school.
Letting go cordially,kindly, even if you deserve to be mad. I just asked him to please leave my key under the rug. It hurt, it took courage from my part. I deserve peace.
I broke no contact for 3 weeks because it was giving great results, but I sadly believed her when she said she still loves me the same way and her attraction never lessened. I shouldve believed you and known they were breadcrumbs because the moment I spoke about the breakup and that I wanted to fix things, she was pushed away and now is determined. But yesterday I made it clear that I know her feelings changed towards me and that mine did as well due to her loosing her feelings, and now in no contact for good. She's anxiously attached but she is avoidant in some cases, it's very confusing especially that our relationship was incredibly deep and loving and caring, sadly though greater issues lay in between like her parents and my financial status. All I want from her is some time to see changes, and taking my time now to apply that hopefully. Stay strong brothers and sisters, keep your heads high and stay confident in your own values cs with or without your exes, it's for the best.
I wouldn't say we broke up...but just on a break. Well i think I messed up and i apologized and gave her space. She calls and texts me sometimes and even comes to see me at work and asks when im going to cook for her. We hug and kiss sometimes but still Learning to go slow and go on dates and not come across as needy and desperate. One step at a time. But giving her space helped me. She also has health issues, Cancer, abnormal bleeding and constant migraines. So i dont want to pressure her about our relationship, cause sometimes i can take her coldness the wrong way and not understand where she's at at that moment. Space really helps. But i really want to be with her. She's amazing
We both took each other for granted. I spoke to him cruely and he cheated and fell in love with the other woman. He was seeing someone 10 years before however I found out just recently. I believe deep down I could feel it. And I thought negative attention was better than no attention. He moved me out of our home to move her in.
It's been a month yesterday and still no contact from her, I've been seeing her stories on Instagram and it seems she's doing great without me, it's been 13 years of relationship and it's being very difficult for me to get over this.
Same here, 11 years and it's like it didn't matter at all. She left with someone else... It's a fck up feeling but, can't keep someone that doesn't want to be us willingly. Can't Force feelings on anyone...
@@vfletes1 mine left because he said that our relationship was worn out, he said that he looks back and sees everything he didn't do because of me... and that my attitudes lately weren't the best, and the distance because I was ending a further course that will dictate my future for the rest of my life, it also helped towards the end of the relationship... I've been following the coach's advice, I haven't given her any contact, I haven't unfollowed her on Instagram nor she unfollowed me, and by the way she still has memories on her insta with me...
@@vfletes1Same here man. 10 years gone. She went with someone else instantly. They’re still hanging about. He’s just decorated her new house including our sons room. It’s so hard to know we were dropped so easily and so care free. I hate it.
Coach Blac.. thank you so much for your guidance.. 🙏🏻 I was anxious after my break up and I found your videos and follow through your advice.. my ex broke up with me but kept calling me every night. Eventually I limit his access to contact me and I don’t contact him at all. He gets upset because he think he will never see me again.. wondering why he is upset when he is the one who break up with me?
I want to improve myself, train it all, bring her back. Make her ask me, have me in her mind, and when she finally asks to get back together. I'm breaking HER heart as she did to mine.
Hopefully, when you fully heal, you won't have this mindset, and you can just be at peace with the breakup and won't feel the need to seek revenge. Best of luck to you!
So I was seeking validation outside of my relationship with my ex and when she found out it broke her heart. I was a horrible communicator and I took her for granted. We’ve been broken up since January and since then we had hookups and dinners together (her idea). 3 weeks ago she got ghost on me and last week she posted a new guy kissing her. Should I just give up? I’m 27 and I’m experiencing my first heart break. I did it to myself, but I’d do anything to have her back. I realized that I want to marry her
She been just trying to get over you my G until she found another piece of meat. Using you when she was lonely and horny. She’ll be back and be better than ever Brodie. But don’t let her have you. Let her use her mouth and Spleek on her face and keep it moving. 😭😭
I was with my bf for 6 YEARS, and he picked a fight with me on vacation in June and broke up with me. I’m heartbroken. He’s told me over and over that I’m the best gf he could’ve ever imagined and I’m one of the most amazing people he’s ever met. I loved him so much. He was pursued by someone else prior to our break up and questioned his love for me. So we are finished and he says he’d love for me to be his friend for now. He’s no longer with the other woman. He took full responsibility for everything that happened and said he desperately needs to work on himself. 💔
This is my one week of no contact with my ex. I just hope she comes back soon or I heal fast. I am broken hearted and it is affecting my daily activities and my sleep in the night
@@ipad007 yes it’s worth it. I would really use the time to work on yourself as an individual and if she comes back, you’ll know whether to move forward with things or not
I tried to make her life easier without understanding the real things she wanted from me. For 9 straight months she kept trying to make me understand what to change but I didn't. I kicked her out instead. Went after her to fix things. I did. She still tried. And then she gave up blocked me. It's been 1 month. I don't think NC will help me
It’s hard because if I’m taking her word for it, our attraction or relationship was never an issue. It was her work being too draining and her not being able to fit me into her life.
Things fell apart when my ex thought i was cheating but proof proved him wrong but it was a little too late because he ended up replacing me in less than 2days and smashed the girl on the same day they met. He said nothing happened so we fixed things but less than 2 weeks later he didnt come home and the next day i found out that the very same girl came to him and they slept together at our work place which really caused me so much anxiety and depression... i spent my birthday and as much as he said he broke things off they constantly spoke for weeks ... then last week he came back to me and has become transparent with me with everything. Last night the girl called with a different number.. i dont know how yo feel anymore.. 8years with this man, 2 kids later😢
My ex will never come back. She found a guy before she broke up with me. Blocked me on everything. I haven't reached out to her because I know she's done. I've lost sleep, and I lost my appetite. Feels like your heart is in your stomach. She's on my mind when I first wake up when I go to bed. I just tell myself to get up each day and focus on myself. Live goes on.
In my life time, two girls came back to apologize. One came back with a Baby wanting a new start with me. I refused because I was already in a relationship. The second girl came back ten years later after rejection. She apolotized for everything and only wanting me to talk to her. I rejected her too and later she died. True story. People warned her..But she was already in love with someone else.
Thanks for watching! To book a 1 on 1 coaching call with me, click here: calendly.com/breakupcoachtj
What about a video when you're the dumper because your guy wasn't committing. Does no contact work to make them come back and up grade you?
Should no contact continue through the holidays. What if they reach out to you? Ignore them? Help!!
I appreciate your perspective, I feel there’s some extra relevance from you since my ex spent the first 30 years of his life in Nigeria. We were together 5.5 years, I finally went no contact a week ago. In hindsight I don’t know who broke up with who, it was messy and awful, I’m so confused.
I'm back together with my ex after being broken up for a year. I tried for 2 months to stay connected, then went no contact for 6 months and worked on myself. When I finally felt strong enough I reached out to him and he was receptive. We started hanging out, talking and building a friendship. Four months after reconnecting he told me he wanted to get back together. The year we broke up was very difficult, but ended up being a blessing because I found my worth and value. Our relationship is better than ever. Please take the time to take care of yourself. Stay strong!
Hey, big fan of your success story, is it ok if I ask you for some advice @nanseacarmichael
That's a great thing, I'm in the same situation, girlfriend asked for a pause, she said she wants to start all over, we are separated since beginning of March, it was hell for 2 months, I know what I did wrong, we never had any fights but we matched a lot, both of us never had anyone matching in so many , I can't forget her and I hope she will be back sometime, never felt this in any of my previous relationships
Did your ex had a rebound during the breakup? @ Nanseacarmichael
Thank you for sharing. I've been in no contact for almost four months, and it's been rough. I know I still have a lot of work to still do to better myself. Your story gives me a boost of hope that my ex and I have a chance of getting back together. Again, thank you for sharing.
Aww I always appreciate happy endings like this. I'm glad it worked out for you guys. Best of luck to you both. I don't know if I would go back to an ex. They already showed you how much they "cared" when you needed them the most. I hope this time, it DOES last for you guys but I honestly don't know the success rate of second chance relationships. Just being realisitc.
“Your ex right now is acting like a toddler” truer words have never been spoken 😅
Haha trust me, I know
@@blacademic😂
😂it's the toddler that amuses me 😅, that's so true I guess I will strive it's been a month of no contact, thank you sir
💯
My ex and I went through separation and then broke up. We both had things going on that were affecting us and had a big loss in communication. No contact was done in both scenarios. She reached out. We started texting, met up in person and now working back to being better for eachother. She loves the way I have always treated her. All I can say is be patient and don't rush. It's hard but patience will pay off. Know your value and what you brought. If it was positive, things will come together within divine timing. Don't dwell on the past and work toward a better tomorrow. You can't move forward if you're constantly looking back. Be a better version of yourself going back and make sure they are doing the same. It takes two on all ends for it to work out.
And what doe you think about toxic long relationships around 9 years with two children. Can this happen?
This is brilliant. I walked away two weeks ago after being offered a placeholder situationship for the second time. I took a little over two weeks to immerse in the grief process. Today I'm singing again, I value my strength, I'm envisioning my future, and I feel content on my own. Walk my People. Walk away and have ZERO expectations except living life on your terms.
🙌 My timeline & situation is very similar to yours. I admire your strength & hope I can get there too! ❤
I did the same thing almost four months ago. Just a word of advice..at first you feel strong, but there will be times when you question your decision. Stay strong it's just your psyche trying to play tricks on you. Especially during the times when you feel lonely. Stay strong! You got his.
@@valentine-p2r Thank you. I've already healed up. I'm focused on my business and moving toward financial abundance. I was the problem because I was allowing toxic behavior. I'm not a victim, and my life is my responsibility. Their behavior triggers the healing process. I'd been in it for 2 years to date on the 29th of Aug. This was the final chapter. Best to you on your journey.
Omg..me 2 I would not accept a side chick place holder position,,I'm proud I said no I walked away
1 and half a week for me. 🎉🎉❤
Coach Blac is spot on!!! My ex came back after 3 months!! Strength and patience is 🔑 know your worth and keep it moving and you will be surprised what that does to you! ❤
Mine literally came back yesterday 😅 we had a rocky relationship 6 years ago, he says he’s serious about finding a relationship and wants to give it another shot… I want to take things slow, he was my first love
@@comparecards5688That is so kind of you, thank you 🥹💐
Wow mine is stubborn man I wish she would come back I broke no contact she gave me blocked so I had a texting app she just ignored me she is done forever man I hate it
Don't do it he's going to break your heart again. And it sounds like you're not over the first time you broke your heart.
After how long apart?
Youve been apart for 6 years? Or dated her for 6 years?
I’ve invested so much and I’ve changed so much to comfort the person I love. I know they felt they did the same. I need to focus on my own health and well being regardless. I wish I could turn my brain off for a while, so tired ❤
Great analogy. I did so much for her to make her life better and easy and I guess she didn’t appreciate it. I retain my value and I am now thinking she doesn’t deserve me. I am realizing that she no longer has much value to me. No contact indefinitely at this point. Stay strong everyone!
You stay strong too x
She‘ll realize what she lost :)
You forgot to add a disclaimer that this advice is not applicable to narcissistic/toxic relationships. Go no contact to protect your well being and don’t ever look back.
3 months into no contact with my dismissive avoidant ex. She's moved on and I'm dust to her. I've watch hundreds of these videos but I'm still traumatised.
How long were you together?
@BenderBekdemir hi we were formally together a year but also 6 months leading up to that we were best friends seeing each other every day. She was taking marriage, kids, rings a day before, I was taking to her family all the time. Any way, it's been 8 months. We had one chat, and she has no intention of getting back. I've also realised it's never going to happen. As hard as it was, life goes on. Took lots of healing.
@TANGALOA292 thanks for reaching out. Yes after 5 months I touched base. She was polite and happy to hear from me, however even though she said she was still single, she had no intention of getting back. She said friends would be nice. I was not willing to go down that path again. It's 11 months now and the last couple I have healed a lot. I miss her but I'm no longer traumatised by it all. I'm happily getting on with life. I know now clearly she will most likely never have a long term relationship with a guy that treats her well. I think she is more comfortable with a guy that hangs with his mates and won't threaten her independence. I do wish her well.
@@droflivelife thank you bro for the comment even if she wanted you only as a friend.If you truly love her and feel like she's the only one for you i suggest you try to make it work with her. If you think the same thing will happen it's better to move on. I'm currently in the same situation as you were. I'm basically dust to my ex but i really love we've been together for 3 years and seeing how your ex wanted to be friends with still gives me hope of my ex because if she ever decides to let me back into her life, it will most likely be more than friendship and I'm praying to god everyday for this to happen because i genuinely love her and i can't love anyone else, especially since she has some health problems that i want to solve and just hug her all the time 💔
@@droflivelifeyea bro it's crazy but it's the route these women are going these days she doesn't want u to threaten her independence which isn't what it is they just wanna do what they want with no consequences no accountability which is childish asf but choose the guy who really doesn't care about her
At this point I could careless because I've learned so much about myself and deep down inside I deserve so much better than how she treated me
I AM WITH YOU ON THIS ONE. I FEEL THE SAME WAY AS YOU.
@@edwinhernandez5581 I hope God puts the right woman in your life. I wish you the best
THANX BROTHER, LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, GIR HAS NEVER FAILED ME.
@@edwinhernandez5581 he knows what we are going through. Just stay positive and keep the faith
Every one makes mistakes, don’t forget that.
A very calm voice with a concrete message of hope.
Man. This landed at the exact perfect time! Thank you!
My pleasure 🙏
Almost 80 days into NC. My ex girlfriend started dating someone new almost 1 month after breaking up with me and is now in a new relationship with her new supply. I can’t take her back any longer but my heart aches for the days we’ve spent together
Be strong brother 😁🤝💯❤️💯
That's somewhat the same thing I'm going thru and its messed up because I was overall really good to my ex but she wanted to be with someone instead of trying to fix what we had so I gotta let go and take time to heal and move on
To: rohatkickboxer
Would you be willing to chat with me please?
Could really use someone to talk to like you because this exact thing happened to me too.
Almost 3 year relationship and a month after breakup she found someone on Zoosk that lives 1 hour from her and I only lived 30 minutes. I'd love to talk to someone that I can 100% relate to. I'll give you my cell if you are okay with talking
Thanks in advance and I'm sorry this happened to you also
Let's all stay strong and take it one day at a time ❤
Its just really hurtful that you can really love someone and would give them the world but once something doesn't go as planned they just mistreat you different and move on to the next
Awwww that shopping at a Nigerian market brought back memories for me 🇳🇬 ❤
I never said this to a man before but you are gem. Thank you for your humble advice and your father must be proud of you no matter where he is.
For me this was of your best messages. All of your videos are outstanding, but this one really struck home. "Never forget your value". I needed that today. Thank You, Coach Blacc..
Mine is as well.. unfortunately I keep breaking no contact. Update?
Coach Blac, had to pause the video to make a comment. I NEED this. Thank you SO much. Keep them coming. I can't donate now but I hope to at a later point. I just wanted you to know that your words are encouraging and comforting me. I appreciate how you are pouring into us. I am finally coming out of a bad place. I just need to keep going. God bless you!
This is the best advice ever!! I'm going through this right now!! I've had to walk away! The hardest thing ever!! It's working tho!!
Dude , coach , you're like a big brother I wish I had
I LOVE haggling! My mom is a pro and taught me well! But I will never haggle with an ex..they want to leave? Be gone. I have plenty of options. Yeah I wish he at least talked to me before he dipped, but the fact that he didn’t just makes the prospect of him returning worse imo. I don’t know if I have it in me to hear him out. Cowards can get less value people, I deserve a lot better than the way he did me. And I feel the way you end something should honor what you had and show integrity and care for the other person’s mental health unless something crazy happened to end things. It shows you’re selfish and that’s not a person I can entertain again without a lot of show and prove
Well said.....well put....facts
@@Layla-hg4ux SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME WITH A SKANK
Brotha! This is the best online dating advice video yet. No games played just facts! Appreciate this one. No science just true facts! They will know and miss what they left.
My ex told me she lost “those” feelings for me after 9 years.. she told me this in December. We have 3 kids together and still live in the same house. We don’t have any hard feelings against each other.
She will get a new apartment in march.. and when the day comes I will focus on no contact because I still love here..
How did this go man, I'm in a similar situation although I've moved out with our daughter
@@SparkySteve. Well we are still separated and have the kids every other week. I did try everything to get her back in the beginning. But then I started no contact so now we only talk about the kids. 2 months ago she told me she missed me and stuff, we talked for hours about everything. But nothing has happened after that. So I live my life and she live hers.
Ive lost him due to my ptsd 😭 he can’t handle it anymore.. I sometimes treat him so wrong.. we were best friends love him so much. He told me to work on myself
I'm going thru the same, ptsd, 14 years of relationship. She took me in a discussion to reach an episode and left me recently.. I don't know what to do..
Your voice is beautiful. So peaceful.❤
Wow! What a POWERFUL and well explained/illustrated course of action. Thank you so much for helping me get back on the right course.
Why do they always act like children after they break up with you?
Man this guy is the best.
Im feeling a lot of these words but my situation i dont really see much on UA-cam, been together with my wife for 15 years and are now seperated for 6month
It's awful, 3 kids and really almost impossible to go no contact but its the only way to make them see theyv fucked up
You are spot on, be good for yourself, magic happens ❤ trust! Look in your own mirror, fix it with love and joy..
Woooooow this sounds like my situation. She was projecting the fear of being hurt on me from her childhood trauma and plus her mom passed away while we were dating. She wanted more time from me but due to me working so much I couldn’t give it to her so I said let’s be friends. But then I started falling for her and she pulled away. Eventually she said she had no more feelings for me and there was a 1% chance that she would give someone another chance. I was there for her through her pain. Even traveling hundreds of miles out of my way to see her. She claims all that I did for her meant nothing to her. This is my first time ever dealing with something like this. She even said I didn’t bare any fruit in her life. I tried convincing her to stay but she refused. I’ve been going no contact for 40 days. I’ve been wanting her to hit me up. Trying to stay strong but I sometimes feel all hope is lost. Sometimes I can’t think straight when thinking about her. But I know I must move on. I appreciate your videos. They’re really giving me a clear understanding of what’s happening
Thank you for this message, Coach Black... I really needed to hear this today 💯✊🏾
Hi , I'm from India, I always watch ur videos, and I feel confident and comfortable after watching them , me & boyfriend were in A very good relationship for about a year, but slowly he lost interest, by mouth he say that he loves me but by behaviour I feel like he has no interest in me , and slowly there was very less concentration between us, and it's been 27days now he changed the job and dint try to call or msg me once , so I felt ignored and I also never tried to reach him ... I'm following the no contact rule, just waiting for the day if he realises my value and come back ...
Aww, man. Sorry about your dad. RIP.
Thanks for all you do,I’m Nigerian as well brother,your channel really made a difference in my navigating this situation
I love the analogies you give to illustrate your points. It really helps the concept of value even easier to understand. Thank you!
Thank you for reminding me of my value and worth and how much I invested in the relationship 🙏
Thanks!
This analogy in the market was helpful.
One of the best videos and i have watched a lot
Day 5 of Limited contact with the mother of my kids I chased and begged for 2 months but when I found this channel literally 6 days ago it changed my whole aspect on things I have 3 kids with this girl been knowing her since I was 12 we are both 27 been on and off since we was kids and spent 6 years together and she cheated on me 😞 I never got any closure the moment she cheated she treated me like I never mattered she still is talking to the guy that she cheated on me with and honestly they can have eachother I just never wanted a broken family I met her March 2nd 2011 I was going to propose this year March 2nd 2024 but that changed keep yall heads up Kings and Queens Things get better let time run it’s course
Same shit i’m going through man! 11 year relationship and we have 3 kids together. I was planning on proposing this year as well and it all went to shit at the end of January
Me too, 13 years 2 kids It been 2 months miss the kiddos we were close. I don't know ow if she is seeing someone else . But time will tell.
Thank you so much. You have helped me a lot with my ex
I know what a Nigerian market place looks like - it’s a very crowded area where many people are out hustling or selling foods, clothing, and etc. in this open space and down this long uneven and broken street next to railroad tracks and wet puddles.
I want to visit this place .
Appreciate you for putting your knowledge, time, and heart into your videos. You have helped me get through, learn, and grow from some hard times 🙏
This man’s advice really works me and my ex girlfriend just talked last night after about a month and we’re going to try again i know it seems impossible sometimes but it worked for me and I couldn’t be happier
The thing is, 2.5 months post breakup, 2 months NC, after 3 years together. I offered her so much more value than she ever offered me. Yes she dumped me but i know that doesnt define my value. She will continue to live in her perpetual misrey and i will grow from this and be stronger than ever before.
this is good and it has worked for me
The analogy is top tier!
Just a day ago I left him, but we were already not together. I just made an agreement that we will stop the communication once the year ends (2023), to which he agreed, well sort of hahaha. July 2023 he broke up with me but we stayed in contact until November and 1st week of November we were in bad terms that lead him to hang up the video call and by then we stopped communicating. Around December he reached out and I was only able to read his msg 2 days after he sent it. By then that's when I decided about the agreement. He didn't want to since he want me to stay but not saying anything like wanting to get back together, but then I know better and I know I deserve better. His pride and ego eating him up. Strong connections was there. I was waiting for him to say the words, but his ego and pride tho.... So by the time the day came to an end, of course we both cried. His words and actions are telling me he wants me to say, but he didn't say anything that he wants me to. I wanted it to hear from him, but he didn't. So I left, blocked him on New Year. Heart breaking for real, cause I know he loves me still and so do I. But I wanted him to man up and say things, but he didn't.
This was an immaculate breakdown. Analogies on point.
We went on a 1 month vacation with my gf and it was full of fights and break ups make ups. She treats me with no respect and no appreciation, like if I had no value and she is the catch, even if I know it is completely the opposite. She behaves like this more often the last times, specially when she gets her period. I'm not perfect, I am very impatient, hard with words and cause a lot of arguments but I told her what I think, and she disrespected me even more. She told me to disappear for sometime and come back when I have a better attitude. Your videos are making me consider, that the only way to repair this or the only way forward is to walk away, because trying to fix it just seems to make things worse. If she is blind to all the benefits I bring into her life, she is spoiled.
You have break it down to the most easiest to understand to learn. Thank you so much it’s very eye-opening.
Excellent presentation. My hope has been waning after 10 months apart - but only 4 months NC I'm ashamed to say. Although I have every intention of never contacting my true love again, you have given me a ray of hope that I will hear from her once more. If not so be it, her loss.
Thank you Coach Blac, for a very helpful advice, specially in this stage I am healing. After all the cheating he has done, the lies he is denying consistently, I choose to walk away and forgive him even he doesn't ask, for my own peace.
Stay strong beautiful hearts, we deserve the right love and it's out there, one day we will be happy and loved the way we all deserve. ❤
THANK YOU, THAT'S ENCOURAGING
@@edwinhernandez5581 you're very much welcome Edwin
Amen
Thank you for this perspective. I agree and the price bargaining was a common thing in my childhood. My parents are from the Caribbean islands and my mom was a pro at negotiating. 🙏❤️
good analogy with the hundos and retention of value...main facet where it's not an equivalent is that the exes have enjoyed the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and know - from their past - comparative value - they dont need to experience a monkey branch or rebound to know the value of those hundreds. whereas a stranger on the street may want to avid being conned or being part of a blooper. your pops sounds like a dope cat... wheeling and dealing at the bazaar to setting on fair market. that 'ancient' dance is fun...so long as it's done with mutual respect between buyer and seller and not that stereotypical stinginess that always feels offputting.
I love how you broke this down
Your analogies are great, Coach. They really bring the concepts to life.
It’s been like many months already. I don’t think he’s coming back. But my ex before this ex added me on facebook 5 years after we broke up. So, they do come back but it may take alot of time. He rejected me and broke me and now he is all alone wishing he had someone. Tables do turn.
Great example … I’m a damn good negotiator. I can definitely win this!
This is great. I love this podcast. Excellent information. I'm going to listen to this one again
Thank u for the encouragement
Coach, you nailed it as usual!
This one was well done 🎉 thank you
My ex and I broke up a month ago. It started off as a break and then she just had time to think about it and realized something. The reason why we broke up had nothing to do with us cheating on eachother or losing feelings, she was worried about her parents approval. I chased her and begged for 2 weeks and then I started no contact. Trying to stay strong and work on my self during this time and she will find her way back, because nothing affected our bond. But right now, we are not talking. We only see eachother at school.
Great Video.
Letting go cordially,kindly, even if you deserve to be mad. I just asked him to please leave my key under the rug. It hurt, it took courage from my part. I deserve peace.
I broke no contact for 3 weeks because it was giving great results, but I sadly believed her when she said she still loves me the same way and her attraction never lessened. I shouldve believed you and known they were breadcrumbs because the moment I spoke about the breakup and that I wanted to fix things, she was pushed away and now is determined. But yesterday I made it clear that I know her feelings changed towards me and that mine did as well due to her loosing her feelings, and now in no contact for good. She's anxiously attached but she is avoidant in some cases, it's very confusing especially that our relationship was incredibly deep and loving and caring, sadly though greater issues lay in between like her parents and my financial status. All I want from her is some time to see changes, and taking my time now to apply that hopefully. Stay strong brothers and sisters, keep your heads high and stay confident in your own values cs with or without your exes, it's for the best.
Soooooo helpful to hear. So well articulated. Thank you. I am proceeding with my life, KNOWING my value!
Great content bro
Wanna say Amen!!
Wow awesome u always on point coach black ❤
I wouldn't say we broke up...but just on a break. Well i think
I messed up and i apologized and gave her space. She calls and texts me sometimes and even comes to see me at work and asks when im going to cook for her. We hug and kiss sometimes but still Learning to go slow and go on dates and not come across as needy and desperate. One step at a time.
But giving her space helped me. She also has health issues, Cancer, abnormal bleeding and constant migraines. So i dont want to pressure her about our relationship, cause sometimes i can take her coldness the wrong way and not understand where she's at at that moment. Space really helps. But i really want to be with her. She's amazing
We both took each other for granted. I spoke to him cruely and he cheated and fell in love with the other woman. He was seeing someone 10 years before however I found out just recently. I believe deep down I could feel it. And I thought negative attention was better than no attention. He moved me out of our home to move her in.
I LOVE YOU BROTHER.
Thank you!!!!!
Ok so this was an Amazing video! Not even taking in my ex at the moment this was So inspiring to watch Coach!! You just made me feel so good lol .
Thank You Coach 💯
It's been a month yesterday and still no contact from her, I've been seeing her stories on Instagram and it seems she's doing great without me, it's been 13 years of relationship and it's being very difficult for me to get over this.
Same here, 11 years and it's like it didn't matter at all. She left with someone else... It's a fck up feeling but, can't keep someone that doesn't want to be us willingly. Can't Force feelings on anyone...
@@vfletes1 mine left because he said that our relationship was worn out, he said that he looks back and sees everything he didn't do because of me... and that my attitudes lately weren't the best, and the distance because I was ending a further course that will dictate my future for the rest of my life, it also helped towards the end of the relationship...
I've been following the coach's advice, I haven't given her any contact, I haven't unfollowed her on Instagram nor she unfollowed me, and by the way she still has memories on her insta with me...
You not meant to be watching her stories! You making contact! She knows you still there watching n waiting to be her next option
Anybody can make themselves look great on Instagram. She knows your watching. Stop watching
@@vfletes1Same here man. 10 years gone. She went with someone else instantly. They’re still hanging about. He’s just decorated her new house including our sons room. It’s so hard to know we were dropped so easily and so care free. I hate it.
Coach Blac.. thank you so much for your guidance.. 🙏🏻 I was anxious after my break up and I found your videos and follow through your advice.. my ex broke up with me but kept calling me every night. Eventually I limit his access to contact me and I don’t contact him at all. He gets upset because he think he will never see me again.. wondering why he is upset when he is the one who break up with me?
I want to improve myself, train it all, bring her back. Make her ask me, have me in her mind, and when she finally asks to get back together. I'm breaking HER heart as she did to mine.
Hopefully, when you fully heal, you won't have this mindset, and you can just be at peace with the breakup and won't feel the need to seek revenge. Best of luck to you!
😂
@@harrisonsilva5434🤣
So I was seeking validation outside of my relationship with my ex and when she found out it broke her heart. I was a horrible communicator and I took her for granted. We’ve been broken up since January and since then we had hookups and dinners together (her idea). 3 weeks ago she got ghost on me and last week she posted a new guy kissing her. Should I just give up? I’m 27 and I’m experiencing my first heart break. I did it to myself, but I’d do anything to have her back. I realized that I want to marry her
She been just trying to get over you my G until she found another piece of meat. Using you when she was lonely and horny. She’ll be back and be better than ever Brodie. But don’t let her have you. Let her use her mouth and Spleek on her face and keep it moving. 😭😭
Spittin bars
Lol who would get back with their ex after they’ve dated and slept with someone else? Nah man couldn’t be me
Straight up.
Oh, I have a plan😂😂but it wont end well for her
If you her body was the main attraction there was a problem.
Right ! Nah pass
That’s the ultimate condition frfr. If she slept with another dude then naw, I couldn’t fathom getting back with her.
Thankyou ❤
I was with my bf for 6 YEARS, and he picked a fight with me on vacation in June and broke up with me. I’m heartbroken. He’s told me over and over that I’m the best gf he could’ve ever imagined and I’m one of the most amazing people he’s ever met. I loved him so much. He was pursued by someone else prior to our break up and questioned his love for me. So we are finished and he says he’d love for me to be his friend for now. He’s no longer with the other woman. He took full responsibility for everything that happened and said he desperately needs to work on himself. 💔
Very good!
M subscribing, l like this content. Also, m going through it
This is my one week of no contact with my ex. I just hope she comes back soon or I heal fast. I am broken hearted and it is affecting my daily activities and my sleep in the night
Update?
Does this apply to married couples who have been separated for 2 years?
I’m on 1/2 day of no contact and I’m struggling already lol. 😢 these messages have given me hope for the future
Heyyy India how u feeling now??
@@tmoney6508 I’m doing okay. We are in contact, but I still try to stand my ground with not being so available
@@indiadonielleis it really worth to doing it, because i want her she is the best i am loyal to her...but she is triggered with my behaviour 😢
@@ipad007 yes it’s worth it. I would really use the time to work on yourself as an individual and if she comes back, you’ll know whether to move forward with things or not
I don’t want them nomore for good now its to late
Rip to your dad brother 👊❤️
I tried to make her life easier without understanding the real things she wanted from me. For 9 straight months she kept trying to make me understand what to change but I didn't. I kicked her out instead. Went after her to fix things. I did. She still tried. And then she gave up blocked me. It's been 1 month. I don't think NC will help me
It’s hard because if I’m taking her word for it, our attraction or relationship was never an issue. It was her work being too draining and her not being able to fit me into her life.
She’s an avoidant
Things fell apart when my ex thought i was cheating but proof proved him wrong but it was a little too late because he ended up replacing me in less than 2days and smashed the girl on the same day they met. He said nothing happened so we fixed things but less than 2 weeks later he didnt come home and the next day i found out that the very same girl came to him and they slept together at our work place which really caused me so much anxiety and depression... i spent my birthday and as much as he said he broke things off they constantly spoke for weeks ... then last week he came back to me and has become transparent with me with everything. Last night the girl called with a different number.. i dont know how yo feel anymore.. 8years with this man, 2 kids later😢
I am sorry and hope God intercedes and makes life better for you and your children.
They always come back
Thank you
13:00 value
My ex will never come back. She found a guy before she broke up with me. Blocked me on everything. I haven't reached out to her because I know she's done. I've lost sleep, and I lost my appetite. Feels like your heart is in your stomach. She's on my mind when I first wake up when I go to bed. I just tell myself to get up each day and focus on myself. Live goes on.
In my life time, two girls came back to apologize. One came back with a Baby wanting a new start with me. I refused because I was already in a relationship. The second girl came back ten years later after rejection. She apolotized for everything and only wanting me to talk to her.
I rejected her too and later she died. True story. People warned her..But she was already in love with someone else.