4 Ways to Beat A Breadcrumber 😮 (from a licensed therapist)

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  • Опубліковано 13 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 384

  • @nineangels7572
    @nineangels7572 7 місяців тому +132

    I called him out... He led me on. Over 7 months long distance. I cut ties. We are both over 55. There shouldn't be games at this stage of life.

    • @vforsejrv7801
      @vforsejrv7801 4 місяці тому +10

      Games have no age. Sorry to let you know🙏🏼❤️

    • @valenciaorange2000
      @valenciaorange2000 4 місяці тому +5

      Sounds like me. I felt like an ass. Today I refused to wallow and went out and he’s blocked never to see me again nor hear from me. I called him out but he switched it out and blamed me for it. I got triggered from a past person doing this so I decided to let go

    • @MarinaV15
      @MarinaV15 2 місяці тому +1

      Men smh. I’m sorry this happened to you. I hope you find true love.

  • @31nattyb
    @31nattyb Рік тому +471

    Breadcrumbing = just walk away! 🙄

    • @autobot0007
      @autobot0007 Рік тому +22

      Thats the only good advice needed.

    • @bellaapple2166
      @bellaapple2166 Рік тому +36

      Yes I think this is not the best advice, because she is having the person over explain their feeelings to someone who clearly doesn't care. Just walk away.

    • @patriciaspeicher6883
      @patriciaspeicher6883 Рік тому +14

      So right. It will not change.

    • @mixolydian9102
      @mixolydian9102 8 місяців тому +3

      Yes. Correct, this happens all the time to salespeople. People show interest, then the moment that you ask for the small commitments to take the interaction further, they flake and disappear.

    • @evyjay
      @evyjay 8 місяців тому +6

      Yep, definitely don't ever tell a man that you "start to spiral", just accept that you should stop wasting your time.

  • @betsyc6055
    @betsyc6055 8 місяців тому +144

    I would never ever tell anyone who is breadcrumbing me that I start to spiral when they do it. That’s making you vulnerable to someone who doesn’t care about you or who is potentially a narcissist. I actually made the mistake once and it was not worth it. Best to move on without so much explanation

    • @beyourself9162
      @beyourself9162 4 місяці тому +2

      Being vulnerable is the currency relationships are formed of. You can be vulnerable and walk away anyway the other person will fast understand that they lost a potential partner. Maybe only subconsciously but they will…😮

    • @pat6601
      @pat6601 4 місяці тому +14

      They would never care anyway. Pointing out that someone is treating like crap is useless. They know what they’re doing.

    • @beyourself9162
      @beyourself9162 4 місяці тому +3

      @@pat6601 Most people don’t act on purpose it happens sub consciously, otherwise therapists would be out of business….

    • @chowell1451
      @chowell1451 4 місяці тому

      Just say insecure. Bread crumbing isn’t always done intentionally

    • @beyourself9162
      @beyourself9162 4 місяці тому

      @@chowell1451 Maybe, but even subconsciously those people are not emotionally mature. They breadcrumb because they have anxiety. Most often you cant reach the next level in dating with them. They fight, freeze or they run. Not answering is a form of freeze. Today some women even freeze when you ask them out, you can see how the body tightens up. We live in an epidemic of relationship anxiety. In my life I never have seen so much men and women living single, with a dog. I never have seen so much women without a boyfriend. To be true. I don’t care anymore. It’s possible that its just insecurity but I can’t solve this for them. I just walk away and ask the next one out in the hope to find a girl which is having HSE…

  • @sparkle3000
    @sparkle3000 9 місяців тому +271

    They're just trying to put you in rotation.
    Block, delete and forget about that person.

    • @MadonnaGrogan
      @MadonnaGrogan 9 місяців тому +9

      Life too short

    • @Bronte866
      @Bronte866 9 місяців тому +22

      Yes, the person I was dealing with would text me whenever he had a fight with his gf. As you say, he wanted to keep me in the rotation. He had to maintain his supply of people he can use. Live your best life. There’s your way to inflict some pain if you wanted to. He can see you being happy with someone else. But really, the best advice & remedy is to walk away permanently. He will never change. Don’t try to figure it out. I tend to do that & ruminate myself to illness. Why is he choosing her over me? Why is he confused about me? He’s not confused. He’s not capable of a long term stable relationship with anyone - it’s not just you. If he does “stick” with anyone he’s cheating on her. Anything is better than letting someone treat you this way. If you’re alone on your death bed it’s better than having a creep like this around. Way better.

    • @chowell1451
      @chowell1451 4 місяці тому

      Or theyre a virgin and are seriously scarred from trauma

  • @liorasitelman1856
    @liorasitelman1856 Рік тому +169

    This happened a lot in NYC. When this happens I walk away. If it’s not a heck yes it’s a NO

    • @beyourself9162
      @beyourself9162 28 днів тому

      @@liorasitelman1856 Exactly my words. It must be a „hell yes“ from date two on, if it’s not… I am out. And it worked for me. I found the right person…. with a big smile and a „hell yes we meet again“… there are no insecurities I am totally myself and sois she… authentic open and honest… easy flow….

  • @apache3481
    @apache3481 9 місяців тому +184

    Fuck em don't tell em shit. Speak by saying nothing ever again!

    • @MadonnaGrogan
      @MadonnaGrogan 9 місяців тому +18

      And not being around, actions speak louder than words or texts

    • @ehiggins360
      @ehiggins360 9 місяців тому +5

      Real talk.

    • @lisasweeney8789
      @lisasweeney8789 8 місяців тому +1

      😂🤣😂

    • @freepressright
      @freepressright 7 місяців тому +12

      Yep. No contact is better than looking like a desperate simp.

    • @lisasweeney8789
      @lisasweeney8789 7 місяців тому +1

      🤣😂​@@freepressright

  • @priolanicole74
    @priolanicole74 8 місяців тому +105

    Calling out a breadcrumber and letting them know how you feel is a waste of time walk away !! They know they are breadcrumbing you it’s just a way to keep the door open in case they get bored

  • @peterpatton8736
    @peterpatton8736 Рік тому +139

    I wouldn't even waste time "calling them out". Stop chasing them and walk away.

    • @lee48lee68
      @lee48lee68 16 днів тому

      You’re exactly right! I just posted something similar. This woman is a licensed therapist and gives the worst advice.

  • @muqaddisasaeed7457
    @muqaddisasaeed7457 Рік тому +156

    Can't agree more but what I have learnt is a breadcrumber /manipulator/gaslighter does it on purpose so they already know what n why they are doing .so I don't see a point in wasting time with such a person.An honest healed man with good intentions will always be direct and on point with his approach.Wake up call ladies.

    • @sonofhibbs4425
      @sonofhibbs4425 Рік тому +16

      Exactly. I think this video was for actual relationships, but I’m surprised one can get that far with a true breadcrumber. They do it to string you along with a bunch of others to have you at their ‘disposal’. It’s to get you hooked and wondering, ‘’could they be interested in me?’’ ‘’Are they just shy?” Because psychology tells us that a sure sign of returned interest is someone having interest in you, they are utilizing that for themselves for supply. (Manipulation) Using someone else for ‘’supply’ is extremely disrespectful.
      One doesn’t even have to call them out on their breadcrumbing. And as you said, don’t waste your time with such a person. Just LEAVE.

    • @katherinegraham3803
      @katherinegraham3803 Рік тому +14

      Yeah, don't treat flaky or thoughtless behavior as your call to begin negotiations.
      Having the tools to work through relationship problems is INVALUABLE. But you don't need to break out that "relationship toolkit" for someone who isn't even interested in consistent conversation with you, nevermind an actual relationship.
      If someone won't make plans to spend time with you despite your repeated attempts to set something up, just tell them that it's been nice getting to know them but you're not feeling a connection. Then move on. Save your attention and your effort for people who are prepared to reciprocate.

    • @Lil_HandGrenade
      @Lil_HandGrenade Рік тому +4

      I so agree with you. They are just players

    • @sonofhibbs4425
      @sonofhibbs4425 Рік тому +5

      @@katherinegraham3803 I agree. It’s just that the person had better make ACTUAL plans, and ask the other about the actual plans….and not think flirting heavily and beating around the bush is going to be mind read from the other as an attempt. Like if a person kept asking what my plans were for the weekend. I answer, and they left it there. No follow through… That’s breadcrumbing in my opinion!

    • @blessingecoma9233
      @blessingecoma9233 11 місяців тому +1

      Spot on.

  • @blessingecoma9233
    @blessingecoma9233 11 місяців тому +77

    While this video helps to point out the signs of a 'breadcrumber'😅 it gives too much power to the person. The best thing for someone in this situation is to walk away when you observe a consistent pattern of broken promises.

  • @joea5222
    @joea5222 Рік тому +630

    Just stop talking to them. Much easier.

    • @godovereverything2460
      @godovereverything2460 10 місяців тому +17

      Absolutely

    • @phathuasante
      @phathuasante 9 місяців тому +14

      Yep

    • @hushpuppies872
      @hushpuppies872 9 місяців тому

      Exactly!!! You are better off single than trying to fix someone's nonsense behavior. Be a man. Show up or F*** off!!

    • @wolvyakapatch
      @wolvyakapatch 9 місяців тому +14

      💯

    • @abdelrahim5184
      @abdelrahim5184 9 місяців тому +25

      That's great advice for the therapist. They have already shown you who they are and if you follow what this therapist is saying, that says much about you. The therapist knows that talking to them will only make you to need therapy

  • @SusanaXpeace2u
    @SusanaXpeace2u Рік тому +138

    ''Mixed messages are not for me, good luck''

  • @averagejane09
    @averagejane09 4 місяці тому +17

    Breadcrumbing is not just present in romantic relationships. "Friends" do that as well. I had a person I had been friends with for many years. Then one day I realized that our friendship has turned into a series of breadcrumbs on his part. We haven't seen one another in two years and the crumbs are getting further and further apart. It hurts but people drift. I eventually needed to realized I should stop thinking of him as a friend at all. I deserve more than crumbs no matter what type of relationship it is. Now, I think of him as someone whom I USED to be friends with. I wish him the best. If he reaches out at some point I think I will just let the relationship go and decline with no hard feelings. He hasn't been a real friend to me in a long time. Sober realization. Life is short and we only have so much time for so many people. I don't want to save any of my time for breadcrumbers.

  • @marlenadavidovs7067
    @marlenadavidovs7067 Рік тому +84

    I Solved this immediately, I sent message that I dont like messaging i prefer verbal communication, so he was in shock and he stopped messaging me he learned calling 🤣🤣🤣

  • @LadyyM11
    @LadyyM11 11 місяців тому +79

    I just blocked him😂 he would take days, weeks, even months to reply. I’d understand if he didn’t want to talk anymore, but he was the one texting me first. And he was doing it on purpose because I called him out on it one time and he IMMEDIATELY texted back 🙄

    • @dmace81
      @dmace81 8 місяців тому +7

      Same shit happening to me from a married woman. I ignored her and told her i wasnt going to text her so she started texting with me with stuff at work. I see her about every day at work so its impossible to be away from her. This crap is difficult to deal with. Shes basically using me for attention. Then I reply and she takes forever to reply back. She says im confusing friendliness with flirtying but I know what im seeing. I finally am waking up to it and was super mad few days ago. Im going to try to never share anything of my life again with her as she just uses it against me. No friends do that to real friends.

    • @Freeman-eo2lx
      @Freeman-eo2lx 2 місяці тому

      You don't want this married woman as a friend she disrespected her husband by being friendly with you in a confusing manner that's not a friendly person think you won't be cheated on if you wanted to commit yourself to her after the divorcing of the husband sign up for the way she is going to be effectively do it to you

  • @TheDevineFempress
    @TheDevineFempress 7 місяців тому +50

    They think you’re dumb for continuing to communicate … just leave them on read

  • @liambraithewaite6415
    @liambraithewaite6415 7 місяців тому +32

    If someone is manipulating you, communicating your feelings only empowers them more and tells them that its working. Just limit contact and walk away

    • @Gorilla554
      @Gorilla554 23 дні тому +1

      Ya, it is stupid to ask a breadcrumber why he or she is breadcrumbing like they are going to give you a right answer. No they won't, they'll gaslight you.

  • @michelleolak7898
    @michelleolak7898 Рік тому +116

    How about, ‘heyyyy! you’re breadcrumbing me! And it’s not fair. I’ll disengage from this dynamic and if you want to help create a more open, mature and balanced relationship - with expectations - reach out. Otherwise, I wish you the best.’
    Why tip toe around it? Call them out!

    • @natasha2877
      @natasha2877 Рік тому +3

      @michelleolak7898 love this!

    • @d.e.p.5624
      @d.e.p.5624 Рік тому +41

      Point is....they WILL reach out! To breadcrumb you again

    • @traceybiles2061
      @traceybiles2061 11 місяців тому +5

      Well they are looking for perfect match probably narcarcisst then they will dump you and any other they are breadcrumbing ...then he will post ot on social media found perfect match..Block when they start push and pull...don't tolerate it

    • @irmavelazquez654
      @irmavelazquez654 11 місяців тому

      Thank you for the information! It makes me realized I was right in the feeling of his behavior . Nah ! I won’t point it out . I am just testing how far he goes , how many excuses or situations he brings up as an excuse after he told he has interest to know me better. I simply answer all his same questions and almost frequent shortly enthusiastic greeting messages and after my short answer I immediately erase the messages and erase the delete messages . I don’t have him as a contact so I AM NEVER the one initiating contact again. It’s been almost 4 months in contact and almost 2 since he told me his interest to know me better and basically nothing happened almost 2 months later . In one week I am going to answer one of his usual greeting messages with a thank you it was nice to being in contact with you for this 4 months I hope you the best in life. 😊
      I won’t invest my time and energy in that kind of dynamic.

    • @donnaanderson2846
      @donnaanderson2846 8 місяців тому +8

      “..if you want to help create….”, is only giving them the necessary information on how to get better at breadcrumbing you. If you already KNOW what they’re doing, there’s no need to appeal to them. Also, I wouldn’t want to give them any insight they could use against anyone else.

  • @HolisticHealing77
    @HolisticHealing77 Рік тому +80

    I treat it with the same energy and if nothing changes, eventually go full no contact if necessary

  • @spoiledwitch82
    @spoiledwitch82 9 місяців тому +24

    Never chase after breadcrumbs look what happened to hansel n gretel, always ends poorly lol look simply put they say treat others how you wanna be treated n if someone is not treating you how you feel you deserve; save your energy for someone who is worth your time and attention because while your connected to the wrong person you can't be free to find the right person.

    • @Dicor-ue3eq
      @Dicor-ue3eq 8 місяців тому

      Amen.

    • @erinstout4484
      @erinstout4484 6 місяців тому +3

      So true this can really hold you back and the breadcrumbed will let it go on and on until they don’t need to anymore and you are left sitting there looking stupid.

    • @vertikasingh8765
      @vertikasingh8765 4 місяці тому

      What to do when they text according to their convenience and whenever you try to ignore they come again with a text hii how are you, you are ignoring me although I'm not in a relationship met him 5 times but he is draining my energy i like him and thats why tolerating this, i said in the beginning i want friendship only so because of that i cant say anything...what to do when you are not in a commitment​@@erinstout4484

  • @Mimses-b4e
    @Mimses-b4e Рік тому +100

    Or you can just date someone else! He is obviously not interested so drop him!!!! Always follow a mans actions as the proof not what he says with words

    • @GUITARTIME2024
      @GUITARTIME2024 8 місяців тому +4

      I'm a dude. Correct.

    • @EnigmaMan0000
      @EnigmaMan0000 7 місяців тому +2

      Yup, Soo true.
      That ol adage; "actions speak louder than words", is correct and so are you!
      I'm personally a; don't tell me, show me, kinda guy.

  • @elainer8288
    @elainer8288 Рік тому +236

    All guys with this behavior are already married or have a girlfriend.

    • @traceybiles2061
      @traceybiles2061 11 місяців тому +40

      And narcarcisst with harem

    • @Handleisnotavailable1
      @Handleisnotavailable1 10 місяців тому +52

      Yep or pursuing someone they “perceive” as more valuable and keeping you around as second option and side piece either you know this fact or not.

    • @Slyguy96
      @Slyguy96 9 місяців тому

      Girls do this to. A Girl who was doing this to me. I found out she had a boyfriend while she had me thinking we had something going. And when i called her out on it. She said she didn't think it was any of my business. What a P.O.S. I dodged the bullet.

    • @mavismounds
      @mavismounds 9 місяців тому +3

      Exactly…

    • @dmace81
      @dmace81 8 місяців тому +7

      I have a women whos married doing it to me.

  • @Sarah61004
    @Sarah61004 Рік тому +27

    I like that you have given us the right words to say. I find it hard sometimes expressing myself in an assertive manner and it comes out as passive aggressive. Which is never good.

  • @jerrimenard3092
    @jerrimenard3092 7 місяців тому +15

    I moved on after it was clear they didn't want what I did. I started to see someone else and now I have the sort of relationship I was looking for. Remember " Fish or cut bait" !

  • @J.M..
    @J.M.. 4 місяці тому +17

    If you call them out they will gaslight you by saying that you are over reacting. This will only perpetuate your false sense of reality and self doubt. The best thing to do is to walk away.

    • @valenciaorange2000
      @valenciaorange2000 4 місяці тому +2

      I did that call them out and it didn’t do anything but gaslight. I just disappear and do them like done to me. Blocked

    • @nehai4830
      @nehai4830 2 місяці тому

      I clear my stance. And their reaction if sincere would be to step up or try to find a solution. In all other cases like ghosting/gaslighting/acting distant/defensive/offensive - means this man is not right. But, I like to give the last opportunity as this separates the cream from milk and keeps you guilt free. In most cases breadcrumber would be confused and might ghost or try to defend. Thats when you know that if you ever tell your genuine issues to him he won't solve it or won't work to find a solution to it.

    • @gouravsahoo185
      @gouravsahoo185 23 дні тому

      That's so true with also my girl. One day she is hot talking to me having affection & then after few days she go like ghosting, taking 4 to 6 hours to reply my text which was all about her something like hay I am going to shoping do u want chocolate or hay are u okay or hay I am very happy to be with u. Guess what she come again and act like she didn't did anything hurtful and when I asked her she goes like that I need space, or I didn't did anything wrong 😢

  • @mylife2022
    @mylife2022 Рік тому +95

    I had to block a guy, a friend, who wasn't sure what he wanted, apart from having a physical relationship. I told him I wanted to date someone. His loss.

    • @asdfdc1946
      @asdfdc1946 Рік тому +7

      he was higher value & you had to settle for someone else lesser than him while he played the field. your loss.

    • @mylife2022
      @mylife2022 Рік тому

      @asdfdc1946
      Better to be single and happy, than deal with an inconsistent man child. Keep your misogynistic advice to yourself.

    • @Deb1650
      @Deb1650 Рік тому

      He just wanted a free prostitute.

    • @KC-lg8qf
      @KC-lg8qf Рік тому +10

      Sounds like he was clear with his intentions.....

    • @mylife2022
      @mylife2022 Рік тому +11

      @KC-lg8qf
      One day he wanted to make a go of it, next weekend not, so blocking him and making it clear what I wanted was the best thing to do for me

  • @yvonnelygo681
    @yvonnelygo681 Рік тому +159

    How about: Invite them to your place for Meal and Chill.
    Then hand them a plate of Breadcrumbs.
    With Ice cubes for dessert.

    • @hananbk37
      @hananbk37 Рік тому +14

      Omg 😂😂😂 i laughed on this comment

    • @Handleisnotavailable1
      @Handleisnotavailable1 10 місяців тому +14

      LMAO 😂 Maybe then they will finally understand how it feels

    • @MT-vw6ff
      @MT-vw6ff 7 місяців тому +6

      LOL😂🤣😂Something that made me laugh in a long time!!! Thank you! It was much needed 🙏🏼🙏🏼

    • @sagenosnibor9173
      @sagenosnibor9173 7 місяців тому +1

      😂

    • @GREENxTARA
      @GREENxTARA 7 місяців тому +1

      yummm

  • @Serenity_escapes
    @Serenity_escapes Рік тому +49

    In most cases wouldn't the best option be to remove yourself entirely?

  • @teamjesus6383
    @teamjesus6383 Місяць тому +5

    Anytime i’ve ever experienced this and it becomes obvious, the minute i call them out is the minute the narcissist in them manifests. They play the victim or rage, and most likely start stonewalling, ghosting, or end up blocked

    • @JourdanTravers
      @JourdanTravers  Місяць тому +1

      Setting boundaries and prioritizing your well-being are crucial in these situations. Thanks for sharing your experience!

  • @mpeniak
    @mpeniak 8 місяців тому +22

    Explaining anything to a narcissist is just giving them more toys to weaponise. Try maybe once, if it happens again run and don’t look back 😂

  • @catsupchutney
    @catsupchutney Рік тому +42

    I just walk.

  • @musicgirl999
    @musicgirl999 4 місяці тому +4

    Yes, I need a person that’s consistent and communicative! Not a person that’s in my life one day and gone the next!

  • @chrisshowering7357
    @chrisshowering7357 Рік тому +25

    When I have spoken to him about breadcrumbs I'm creating drama

    • @priyankaacharjee3047
      @priyankaacharjee3047 7 місяців тому +5

      Just ignore and block them.Its their tactics of finding faults in the other person.

  • @amelittaberretta9109
    @amelittaberretta9109 9 місяців тому +12

    Yes, yes, yes! Plus ghosting.

  • @blackmewtwo3569
    @blackmewtwo3569 Рік тому +37

    There are more people that are like this nowadays it’s all ego it’s honestly humiliating on them

  • @Synthminator
    @Synthminator 11 місяців тому +30

    I just blocked them, no patience for games

  • @vilmacabanbabilonia8214
    @vilmacabanbabilonia8214 9 місяців тому +38

    They are broken, emotionally unavailable men who just want to live up the moment.

    • @GUITARTIME2024
      @GUITARTIME2024 8 місяців тому +8

      I'm a dude. They arent broken they just aren't interested enough.

    • @daniellediaz2516
      @daniellediaz2516 7 місяців тому +5

      Women bread crumb too, so stop it 🙄

    • @osmsksms5444
      @osmsksms5444 7 місяців тому +3

      So true. He actually told me at the end he was emotionally unavailable.

    • @themothers
      @themothers 6 місяців тому +1

      ⁠@@GUITARTIME2024the ones she talk about have 5 or more relationships and keep it moving..

    • @beyourself9162
      @beyourself9162 4 місяці тому

      @@vilmacabanbabilonia8214 And women!!

  • @Redeemed1983
    @Redeemed1983 7 місяців тому +7

    Breadcrumbing isn't limited to romantic relationships; it can be done by anyone who has any kind of leverage over someone else, such as a parent to a child, an employer to an employee, etc.

  • @aurelien5861
    @aurelien5861 Рік тому +35

    "I feel frustrated and start to spriral when I don't hear from you for several days. Especially when I know you've read my messages. I understand we all have hard days and life can get complicated but I am looking for someone who can stay in touch on a egular basis and is willing to have open communication" -
    Thank you Jourdan Travers

    • @katherinegraham3803
      @katherinegraham3803 Рік тому +30

      If you end up using that script, I would suggest leaving out the part about "and start to spiral." It just invites a whole debate about whether or not the "real" issue is that they're bread crumbing you, or that you're being "too emotional."

    • @aurelien5861
      @aurelien5861 Рік тому +4

      @@katherinegraham3803 I appreciate the insight, it resonates. Thank you for your input 😊 very useful ✨️

    • @bristolcorvid8894
      @bristolcorvid8894 Рік тому +5

      “We all have hard days but one non-negotiable for me is someone who stays in touch on a regular, timely basis.”

    • @aurelien5861
      @aurelien5861 Рік тому

      @@bristolcorvid8894 definitely !

    • @lakegirl7729
      @lakegirl7729 8 місяців тому +6

      The spiral language has to go. Makes us sound crazy for having feelings.

  • @alonsoguemes6486
    @alonsoguemes6486 Рік тому +15

    Why is the volume so low in some videos?

    • @aycoyote
      @aycoyote 11 місяців тому

      I thought so too, I can barely hear her.

  • @alexanderbarnes8991
    @alexanderbarnes8991 2 роки тому +108

    I was breadcrumbed for 6 months. at first you rationalize it excusing bad behavior "maybe". Then you try to pin a date and time "I don't know when. let me check." When you confront them then your not interested in seeing me "your rude." Then they friendzone you; you move on , but they reach back out because they are the ones who are craving attention. "How are you." Then you think they want to see you nope same pattern "I'll let you know." What your left with is make them jealous and show they can't use you anymore for attention and live your best life. They need help from a mental health professional. The ironic part was she was teaching occupational therapy with a psychology degree 🤣

    • @pegagonza3784
      @pegagonza3784 Рік тому +2

      😮

    • @natashadickson4819
      @natashadickson4819 Рік тому +16

      I have no problem blocking someone like that. Just ...Click! Bye!

    • @ibuprofen303
      @ibuprofen303 Рік тому

      @yupyup3878 What a load of hysterical misandric nonsense.....

    • @katalinbalazs8671
      @katalinbalazs8671 Рік тому

      ​@yupyup3878Now I will tell you something, yeah sure some of it what you said is true but let me tell you, I'm a woman, who is being breadcrumbed, by my boss, who is also a woman, she's single, knows I like her, she knows what I want. This has been going on for about 1 and a half year now. We are both in our 30s which means we are both adults enough to be able to communicate and express ourselves. I'm a very direct person and I don't have time for games, yet I keep falling for her games because she's really good at what's she's doing. Yeah sure I could sit here and cry about being such a victim, but sometimes the situation is more complicated, like for instance in my case where she's my boss and I have to see her 5-6 days a week. Before you tell me to just "Quit and go find another job" it's not that easy, I'm working on it, but let me tell you, some breadcrumbers are really really skilled and it's not always easy to stand up for yourself, especially when it's your boss who does it to you, how are you going to confront the person?? Most likely it will end up with me just quitting but I hope you see this from a different perspective.

    • @k8schmate
      @k8schmate Рік тому +26

      @yupyup3878if she wasn’t interested in him then why did she keep reaching back out to him and then dropping off? Doesn’t sound like he’s imagining it.

  • @anonymousandcool
    @anonymousandcool 4 місяці тому +7

    My breadcrumber literally broke my heart but once I finally gave up I was surprised how much better I felt within a matter of days . No more second-guessing every little thing I said wondering if I'm pushing him away more when his intent was always to push me away

    • @neha-j4h
      @neha-j4h 25 днів тому

      you are so right i also felt the same. The feeling of relief as if weight is lifted off my shoulder.

  • @bozgaming333
    @bozgaming333 8 місяців тому +56

    Giving a narcissist feedback that their method of punishing you is working? Is the dumbest advice you could give.

    • @albertdavis4797
      @albertdavis4797 6 місяців тому +8

      Same thing i had in my thought, they will gaslight it 😂

    • @GREENxTARA
      @GREENxTARA 4 місяці тому +2

      hahaha

  • @boxoffisa
    @boxoffisa 9 місяців тому +79

    Breadcrumbing is the art of leading someone on without any clear plan of pursuing a relationship.
    Me: that’s toxic and narcissistic behavior right there. Going through it now.

    • @Bronte866
      @Bronte866 9 місяців тому +1

      I don’t think it’s an art.

  • @yericaguerrero9119
    @yericaguerrero9119 Рік тому +12

    This is the advice and next steps I needed to hear. Thank you

  • @MBAinternetmktg
    @MBAinternetmktg 5 місяців тому +6

    The comments below are excellent. Do not tell the breadcrumber that you start to spiral when you don't hear from them for a few days. They love to hear that & will throw you a few more breadcrumbs or they will gaslight you by making it your fault because you're needy & don't understand them. Breadcrumbers know what they are doing.

  • @yashkhangura
    @yashkhangura 9 місяців тому +1

    Very helpful advice. Thanks and God bless you🙏

  • @aspiringrootwoman24
    @aspiringrootwoman24 9 місяців тому +19

    For the people who say just walk away or cease communication, maybe this video is for people who find it difficult to break contact or who go back and forth. Sometimes you need to speak up for yourself and then walk away rather than go and leave a bunch of unsaid words rumbling in your heart

    • @pat6601
      @pat6601 4 місяці тому

      If you realize you are being lead on, there is no other answer than to leave. The individual is not into you….period. They never will be. They won’t care about your words and how you feel. You should not feel the need to speak all the words you feel. It will not be satisfying. You will only be letting the person know they hurt you and they will not care. Keep it to yourself.
      BTW, I let someone drag my heart around for 18 ridiculous months. He got married 9 months after I finally walked away. I thought about telling him how I felt all that time. How do you tell someone they’re treating like crap when they are treating you like crap? There is no point, they know it. I found it hard to break away, obviously. They’ll do it as long as you let them.

    • @aspiringrootwoman24
      @aspiringrootwoman24 4 місяці тому +4

      @@pat6601 everything doesn't work the same for everyone. As a person who is used to swallowing my resistance and letting my boundaries be trampled, it is necessary and empowering for me to speak up and acknowledge the injury and mistreatment even if I'm on my way out.

    • @samiam369
      @samiam369 Місяць тому

      @@aspiringrootwoman24 I am wondering if this is where I am at as well. Thank you for speaking your perspective.

  • @rockrecordreport7136
    @rockrecordreport7136 6 місяців тому +6

    She means well here, but her advice is inviting yourself to be "gaslit" and B.S.'d beyond what is deserved. Just walking away and leaving the breadcrumber not knowing what the hell you have already figured out is retaining the power over them and the pride in yourself.

  • @fireflymary9269
    @fireflymary9269 Рік тому +14

    Not just romantic. Happens in families too.

    • @SnowLeopardForever
      @SnowLeopardForever 6 місяців тому +1

      And in “friendships” too.
      I put ‘friendships’ in parentheses because it’s not really a friendship if you two aren’t spending time together because other person won’t make plans with you to do so, nor be there for you when you need them (like you do for them) BUT they continue to communicate with you first and insist they want you as a friend and want you in their life.
      I had this happen to me.
      I don’t communicate with them anymore. I ignore them.

    • @lt2547
      @lt2547 6 місяців тому

      It happens with toxic bosses! Beware, they pretend they will give you a promotion so you will complete important projects before you catch on that they do not intend to do anything positive! Up level to a new job, dumpy the losers! Amy types of losers!

  • @jelkel25
    @jelkel25 7 місяців тому +9

    If you aren't in regular contact you don't have a relationship, you have an acquaintance. People pick their own level of involvement with you, you just have to believe them and act accordingly. If they have picked acquaintance through their actions treat them like that. If there's an agenda they will most likely take this badly, move on.

    • @sanjeevgig8918
      @sanjeevgig8918 4 місяці тому

      Great lines and advice.
      Appreciated.

  • @delilah1479
    @delilah1479 8 місяців тому +7

    A fellow breadcrumbs both me and a girlfriend of mine. When she and I chat, we both laugh about it. Neither of us are interested in dating him, but we know his game.

  • @GREENxTARA
    @GREENxTARA 4 місяці тому +1

    i’m here for it. i love it, i need nothing from anyone so a crumb or two makes me over flow with abundance

  • @neha-j4h
    @neha-j4h 25 днів тому

    Thank you so much, doc. I was in my first-ever relationship and was experiencing the same. But I decided enough is enough; it was not good for my mental health, and I decided to move on. I got to know about this term today, and it all makes sense.

  • @maristella287
    @maristella287 Рік тому +12

    Bread crumbing... OH GOD... please make it stop!!!

  • @magpie2163
    @magpie2163 10 місяців тому +31

    No no no - bad advice, you will end up in a maze, gaslighting crazy making endless discussion. Never beg, never ask for love and respect. Just walk away.

  • @imranmuhammad8105
    @imranmuhammad8105 7 місяців тому +2

    You have defined bread crumbing in the absolute best manner . Thank you.

  • @diana_lynne_TX
    @diana_lynne_TX 2 місяці тому

    Love your communication style!

  • @miltonhalepis6483
    @miltonhalepis6483 9 місяців тому +14

    Best to walk away. She’s not interested or attracted to you anymore

    • @SnowLeopardForever
      @SnowLeopardForever 6 місяців тому

      Or she just wants validation that you still like her and want her because it boosts her ego.
      I hate people who do that.

  • @amelittaberretta9109
    @amelittaberretta9109 9 місяців тому +4

    He monitors my telephone, stocks me, just for fun, I feel terrified, terrified of him, his ghosting, breadcrumbjng me.

    • @KatyHaylock-h6x
      @KatyHaylock-h6x 9 місяців тому +5

      Contact the police...then change your number

  • @AZ-zr5oo
    @AZ-zr5oo Рік тому +31

    Don't ask a fish how to catch a fish! As soon as you see someone start to flake on you, have a pizza by yourself. Count yourself lucky you're not paying for a deceptive b..ch and move on. Walk away with honour!

  • @nahcusiruk
    @nahcusiruk 9 місяців тому

    Thanks ❤

  • @LarryJames-x5j
    @LarryJames-x5j Рік тому

    Thank you, Jordan, Your video is very helpful.

  • @amelittaberretta9109
    @amelittaberretta9109 9 місяців тому +1

    Absolutely my life for the past 40 years.

  • @bristolcorvid8894
    @bristolcorvid8894 Рік тому +18

    This video provided long winded and weak-minded advice that merely enables time-wasters and abusers.
    Please cut to the chase.

    • @ehiggins360
      @ehiggins360 9 місяців тому +6

      Thank you. This video and the advice here is horrible.

  • @AM-ut7dg
    @AM-ut7dg Рік тому +16

    Why is breadcrumbing only spoken about in context of dating? I experienced breadcrumbing about marriage for years with my ex boyfriend.

    • @constancep7632
      @constancep7632 Рік тому +2

      Seems to me like the same advice applies: Communicate in a nonconfrontational manner about the behaviour, and if it doesn't change, move on.
      I'm sorry that happened to you.

    • @sexyhomeowner9345
      @sexyhomeowner9345 Рік тому +3

      Some people call it 'future faking' when partners do it about major life decisions, like having children or getting married. But the principle is of course the same.

    • @laurahenry3562
      @laurahenry3562 Рік тому +3

      In your case,it’s called why buy the cow when u get the milk for free?I learned that from my dad when I was 13 ,don’t move in with a guy ,until ur engaged an are planning the wedding ,,the rules haven’t changed,,it’s still the same ,lol

    • @AM-ut7dg
      @AM-ut7dg Рік тому +2

      @@laurahenry3562 wow, thanks a lot captain hindsight! How nice to hear you had a protective father growing up, which I did not have. Crazy how some things are so obvious to people who got what they needed growing up while the rest of us get screwed over. Thanks again for reminding me of that! 🙄

    • @RevealedFilms
      @RevealedFilms Місяць тому

      @@AM-ut7dgtake some accountability. He didn’t want marriage. Or maybe he didn’t want it with you. The more you pressure someone the less you’re likely to get what you want. Glad you both moved on.

  • @mikerozic7225
    @mikerozic7225 Рік тому

    Thank You!

  • @elenaschlenk672
    @elenaschlenk672 5 місяців тому

    beautiful. thank you!

  • @davidthomspson9771
    @davidthomspson9771 Рік тому +2

    This is excellent thank you

  • @MisterGames
    @MisterGames 8 місяців тому +5

    Be direct and call them out? Nope. Wrong. Block. Done. That mess is out of your life. I see no valid reason to get into the drama of calling them out.

  • @sqfanatic
    @sqfanatic 4 місяці тому +1

    The one point she made that I really liked, sometimes things change, and bringing up the goals and desires in a kind and loving way for the expressed purpose to give the other person an opportunity to confess that they have changed their mind, or they lack confidence.
    Ask them, do you have concerns about me or the relationship's potential future?
    Ask them, do you still see me as a good fit as your long-term future husband?
    Ask them, can you tell me if there is something you would like to see change?
    Ask them, would you tell me if there were something that you would like me to apologize for?
    Ask them, do you have insecurities that may be purely emotional?
    Then try to put them at ease by talking about these things.

  • @aurelien5861
    @aurelien5861 Рік тому +11

    "I sense that what you are looking for might be quite different from my expectations. I am looking for something serious and long term. I'd like to work on building a stable relationship. How about you ? "

    • @immers2410
      @immers2410 11 місяців тому +5

      Just ghost them back

  • @mariahashmi1234
    @mariahashmi1234 Рік тому +11

    But what do breadcrumbers get with breadcrumbing?

    • @sadejones6657
      @sadejones6657 Рік тому +43

      They get back ups until the person they want to be with comes along or until they decide to settle for u.

    • @mariahashmi1234
      @mariahashmi1234 Рік тому +8

      Wow! Thats pathetic

    • @sonofhibbs4425
      @sonofhibbs4425 Рік тому +11

      Manipulate someone for what they want them to do. (Typically hook ups)

    • @sexyhomeowner9345
      @sexyhomeowner9345 Рік тому +13

      It can also be laziness. They want the benefits of a relationship without investing the necessary time and effort.

    • @Lauren-i8i
      @Lauren-i8i Рік тому +14

      Bread crumbing is a tool Married Men often use.
      They can have their cake & eat it, too if you will settle for crumbs.
      He throws out bread crumbs on the trail just enough to keep you around for when he needs you.
      But he will not give you the full course meal because he’s giving that to his Wife.
      Whatever he can do to keep you available to him with the least amount of effort invested in you is what works.
      He may seem like a ‘nice guy’ but he is truly selfish and manipulative underneath it all.
      You deserve BETTER!!!

  • @itschrissyinchrist
    @itschrissyinchrist Рік тому

    Beautiful advice, thank you ❤

  • @Happy_HealthyLife
    @Happy_HealthyLife 4 місяці тому +2

    Glad that I came to know this technique is called bread-crumbing, one guy initially showed lots of interest and suddenly he stopped responding to my text and some time he would text just to know that he is still in touch. So decided not to say anything to him and not to block him or not to respond to him. And move on …

  • @moonchild-thirty-thr33
    @moonchild-thirty-thr33 Рік тому +23

    And likely married. 🙄😡

  • @thecanadianrealestateshowc3554
    @thecanadianrealestateshowc3554 9 місяців тому +4

    Never ever ever say those things to someone breadcrumbing you. If they do it twice, then just never respond to them again. Simple. Don't give them your energy by letting on that they had an impact on you. Bad. If anything, you can say, you're not really that interested in dealing with someone who hasn't learned text etiquette or common courtesy, and are they dumb?

  • @JB-su6tp
    @JB-su6tp 4 місяці тому

    Cant hear this on my phone unless I am connected to a speaker.

  • @kaycar1161
    @kaycar1161 7 місяців тому +2

    This will just inflate their ego. Just ignore them.

  • @mikyl-fo8rh
    @mikyl-fo8rh Рік тому +10

    More volume and cowbells, please.

  • @shobhitratnamathur180
    @shobhitratnamathur180 6 місяців тому +2

    Breadcrumbed by someone... I tried your method to call her directly... But even after 48 calls she didn't reply and after I call someone near her and say pls help me to talk her ... Then he give his phone to her but she clearly denied she told she don't have my calls... When I m in front of her she make me realize that I am important to her... But whenever I call she didn't pick and even never call back.... It made me so doubtful about myself..... I feel I had a mistake or something.... My confidence is drained a lot because of this.... I make doubtful about myself....
    And even after that incident she didn't called me once.... Even I always help her make her feel good.... What do I do now

    • @neha-j4h
      @neha-j4h 25 днів тому

      Moving on is the best thing you can do for yourself and your mental health. There is no point in wasting your energy on someone who doesn't care about you, mate.

  • @biebsje30
    @biebsje30 Рік тому +1

    the sound is very soft

  • @tensevo
    @tensevo 8 місяців тому +4

    let me know how it goes when you "call them out"

  • @Lil_HandGrenade
    @Lil_HandGrenade Рік тому +2

    Gosh I just went thru this.

  • @johnvillamil3138
    @johnvillamil3138 5 місяців тому +1

    You have explained a situation I am experiencing but I have no emotional eggs in her basket to be hurt or even annoyed. LOL. It’s so interesting how someone does this thinking the other person doesn’t catch on. Too funny how this person is doing what you are explaining.. Not sure if she even knows she doing it. Probably thinks she’s being savvy.

  • @erockvaughn2190
    @erockvaughn2190 Рік тому +18

    This is woman SOP 101. Now when it happens to them they need a therapist. Welcome to the new age,

  • @catesinnl2965
    @catesinnl2965 11 днів тому

    Can you say this that you want consistent communication when he is clear we are just fwb.

  • @jamest681
    @jamest681 9 місяців тому +3

    If their bread crumbing their not interested. Leave them alone and move on or accept any very casual friendship.

  • @mitchd949
    @mitchd949 4 місяці тому +3

    All bad advice. Call them out? Let them know how their communication is affecting you? Maybe that person will change and become more authentic? Nonsense! Simple reality: the breadcrumb person DOES NOT HAVE HIGH INTEREST IN YOU. You need to bottom line the other person's interest early on. Don't be swayed by your high interest in them - that will only make you do stupid things and it's what lead you to putting with the other person's behavior. If the other person digs you, they make it very easy to be with them. If you're getting anything but enthusiastic effort from the other person, MOVE ON. Don't waste your time, don't try to change them, just smile to yourself knowing that you saved yourself time, effort, money, and heartbreak.

  • @raamtselon
    @raamtselon Рік тому +2

    What does breadcrumbs mean ???

    • @Lauren-i8i
      @Lauren-i8i Рік тому +12

      ‘Bread Crumbing ‘ is throwing out bits of time, attention and effort into you instead of being truly invested.
      He gives you just enough to keep you around for his convenience.
      Hopefully you don’t hang on, hoping for a reciprocal relationship because this guy clearly isn’t available (for any number of reasons.)
      The chance of him changing are slim because this kind of behavior serves HIM - and leaves YOU with the short end of the stick.
      No one deserves this ‘Bread Crumbing’ bull sh*t while you are on the begging end of the relationship, waiting for his call.
      You deserve BETTER. 💕

  • @anadubar4819
    @anadubar4819 5 годин тому

    I automatically mirror their behaviour.
    He is breadcrumbing me leads to me breadcrumbing him.
    Which confuses him and makes him insecure.
    And then I either loose interest or I get annoyed.
    Either way, it's over.

  • @0xC47P1C3
    @0xC47P1C3 Рік тому +3

    I didn’t even know this was a thing

  • @JanaSzIsBasicGlitch
    @JanaSzIsBasicGlitch 7 місяців тому +1

    I want different video! How to be not unintentionally breadcrumber! BECAUSE look I am affraid I will be too much, also I have this weird situation and I am not sure if it is also the right one because I am still kinda hung up on the one that had old guy training adds 🤣

  • @ClearandHealthyBoundaries
    @ClearandHealthyBoundaries 3 місяці тому

    It's done in friendship too. I've just ended a approximately 2 year friendship with someone who breadcrumbed me from the start. And Ibagree thatbif yountry to vulnerable and honest about hiw their behaviour affects you, they get defensive and make you pay for that.

    • @JourdanTravers
      @JourdanTravers  2 місяці тому

      Thanks for sharing that-it sounds like a tough situation. Breadcrumbing in friendships can be so draining because it keeps you hoping for something real that never quite happens. And when you try to be open, only to have them turn it around on you, it can really hurt. Good for you for recognizing it and choosing to move on; you deserve friends who show up consistently and make you feel valued.

  • @bpoydras1503
    @bpoydras1503 7 місяців тому +1

    Going No Contact works great to get your ex into their anxious emotions, but the next hurdle may be, once they finally reach out, beware of the bread crumbing, which is probably worse than the No Contact, because of the manipulative holding pattern your ex may keep you in, dangling the carrot of hope, which ironically enough, may cause you to actually prefer the No Contact over that bread crumbing crap.

  • @LETsROCK89
    @LETsROCK89 2 місяці тому

    Definitely what’s going on with me. Only thing is, we have a kid together. So I’m more confused about the situation. Any tips?? lol please.

    • @JourdanTravers
      @JourdanTravers  Місяць тому

      @LETsROCK89 That sounds like a challenging situation, especially with a child involved. Breadcrumbing can be confusing and emotionally taxing. It might be helpful to reflect on what’s best for you and your child’s well-being. If you’d like more guidance, feel free to reach out!

  • @anointedhealthcoach
    @anointedhealthcoach 8 місяців тому +2

    Yes. All in or not interested...why breadcrumbing? I understand being cautios and going slow but breadcrumbing is a whole different story.

  • @Darlisk
    @Darlisk 7 місяців тому +5

    Why all these videos talk about sexual relationships and never just platonic friendships??

    • @ClearandHealthyBoundaries
      @ClearandHealthyBoundaries 3 місяці тому

      Exactly! We need a content creator that focuses solely on platonic and/or familial relationships.

  • @GabbyF
    @GabbyF 9 місяців тому +3

    Just block them ❤

  • @emilyburk4619
    @emilyburk4619 2 місяці тому

    Girl your eyebrows are fire

    • @JourdanTravers
      @JourdanTravers  Місяць тому

      Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed the video.