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I am one of those people diagnosed with breast cancer who refused treatment nine years ago and I’m fine. I had just lost my husband to a sudden heart attack and I didn’t care whether I lived or died. I chose to travel and experience life. Then I found my joy; singing. So I bought a guitar and taught myself to play and have experienced that joy of playing and singing music daily, enjoying whatever time I have on this earth. I had the tumor surgically removed and when I refused the treatment my doctor was horrified and called me at home to make sure I understood the numbers regarding my chance of survival. I told her I understood. But I also understand that you have no control over the quantity of your life; you only control the quality. And I didn’t want to spend my time losing my hair, being sick and still dying. I’m sure she thought I was nuts! But here I am 😊
Great practical finding of life. Sooner or later well die, rich or poor, smart or mediocre. It's all about the wise personal choice the joy of life is made up with.
I'm 70 and have been an addict for most of my life and blamed myself for it as did everyone who knew me. Dr Mate freed me from my pain when he said that 99% of addicts suffered some type of abuse in the first 18 months of life, I was adopted.
Dr. Gabor Mate was my older brother Graham DR. here in Vancouver BC. My brother had such a brutal childhood as did I. Graham was addicted to drugs and violence his whole life. Dr. Mate made my brother feel 'LOVED and HEARD for the first time in his life. he always smiled when telling me about this wonderful man. I sat with my brother while he was dying from liver cancer in 2017. He was my big brother and he protected me from my father's brutality when I was a little girl and he endured unimaginable torture which I witnessed. Graham loved DR. Mate. Listen deeply to his words. DR.Mate Thank you.
I’m so glad you took the time to share this. I lost my son who was addicted to alcohol and prescribed medication, he died alone in his bed. I had only just discovered Gabor and was reading ‘When the Body Says No’, to h err looking me understand how I had got cancer for the third time. He helped me to understand the cause, which began, like yourself, with childhood trauma. I have survived stage 4 colon cancer, but I have always felt so guilty that I couldn’t save my son. Your brother had the master, Gabor himself, not just the books and podcasts that I had, but no one could save him because he had to save himself. Yes Gabor’s teachings and wisdom helped me, but I had to do all the work. My son was so angry with his father, an alcoholic also, he just couldn’t find a way to forgive him and let it go. Being aware is only the beginning …. it’s a long hard road, but it’s worth it, especially for my beautiful grandchildren. Thank you ❤️
Opioid addiction actually destroyed my life. I started doing drugs 18 years ago as a teenage. Got addicted to opioid. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Was actually diagnosed with OCD. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 3 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
Yes sure of Predroavaro. Mushrooms are very medicinal. This is why anybody familiar with psilocybin and any other kind of fungi will tell you, "They are alive." They have a very ancient wisdom. To my experience, all mushrooms have always said, "Pay attention to your life. How you think, how you feel, and what will you do with the information that you always knew, but now are seeing in this point of view." This is why mushrooms are so respected in tribal cultures. This mental health treatment works for me too. Half micro doses do the trick for me. At least a few days at a time with lengthy time in between. Never addictive. Thank you for sharing this point!
Yes he's Predroavaro a professional mycologist. Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.
I picked up "When the Body Says No" after being diagnosed with stage 4 Colon Cancer at 35. It kicked my ass in gear to work on my Trauma and my stress just as aggressively as my Cancer was being treated. I know of three other individuals that have passed away from the same Cancer as me and I feel the reason I am here is associated with the work I did on the trauma and how I deal with the toxicity in my life. Cancer doesn't have to mean life OR death. I chose to live even in the accelerated possibility of death.
@@shenaepowell7843 so am i. Unfortunately, after "Agent Orange", cancer got the best of my granddaughter at just 14, who did her best to fight it for five horrible years of pain and torture... bless her beautiful and truly set apart soul! Nadia! ❤️🔥💐🌅💯
Spot on fascinating I was just telling my daughter about disease and how the Western world cause of that but then it's really the energy and it balls up and it's stuck in there and it is well. D i s ease
Dopamine Enigma Unveiled seriously blew my mind. Learning about dopamine optimization and detox completely changed how I approach productivity and focus. Has anyone else here tried applying these techniques? The section on unlocking peak mental performance was a game-changer for me!
When I was 29 after 5 years of being in ER almost every night with asthma, my doctors told me I had less than 6 months to live. That was 1979. At that time when I was first told my illness was psychosomatic I was greatly offended, I am not making this up, I am really sick. After the doctors gave up on me, and I sot alternatives I found out that my physical manifestation was due to both past and present traumas, and when I addressed them I changed my life, and in the last 40+ years have never been in ER for asthma since. Take a breath and seek help from people who understand mind body connection, your other choice is to continue to suffer or die too early.
how lucky I feel to have listened to this conversation, between 2 well meaning people. trouble is, it makes me just pill the blinds down and close the shutters, to sleep at 5pm. and I'm so old 😪 xxx🤯🤞🙏🏻
Yep! Most people have zero clue how connected the mind and body. Lots of what Gabe says is information I have known for years and so my best to help explain but because I don’t have a Dr degree, that cast me off as if I don’t know what I’m talking about. For me, so much is common sense. I’ve been aware of mind body spirit connection for so long, I don’t know how long. When I was 2 years old was a moment I made a conscious decision to never forget who I am on the inside even though I’ve suffered greatly from the hands of my deceased father of sexual abuse. This knowing inside me IS WHAT helped me move through and then overcome abuse. I didn’t see myself so much as a victim but a survivor. I ended up marrying someone who abused me in every way but the physical although there were times it was close to being physical. Kudos to you for realizing the truth, coming to terms with it, and changing your life positively.
BINGO! you got it. my mom had had asthma since childhood, 5 years old. at the age of 60, she had a ten minute EFT session and it basically got cured. she doesn't even own an inhaler anymore. fascinating, isn't it? :)
Can we just appreciate how Lewis asked everything that was so spot on. How these two beautiful souls shared their wisdom with us. You both are a blessing for the whole mankind. Nobel peace prize for you both ❤️
Also I'd love to share the method I've built with you to learn how to find the seed of the issue and the seed essence of your "real" self. The more people get back on track the better.
""the things that are considered as normal in society.. Are not at all normal from the point of view of human life and human needs.. It's totally unhealthy.. So the addictions and the diseases and the mental illnesses that people do develop are actually normal responses to an abnormal situation" Exactly exactly!!
I’m paraphrasing but I believe Jiddna Krisnamurti said something to the tune of it “being no measure of man to be well adjusted to a maladaptive society”.
For me the pain of continuing my addiction became greater than the pain of quitting. I have six years off opiates and Dr. Maté really helped me understand what was going on with me. So grateful.
I have been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, Interstitial Cystitis, PTSD and complex PTSD and was so lucky to have one of those doctors who DID ask me about the stresses in my life and recommended I read Dr Gabor Mate's book "When the Body says no" very early after my diagnosis. Changed my life and caused me to completely change the way I live my life. Now I'm such a huge fan of his work. He is the Carl Jung of our day. Loved this interview. 💗
That’s awesome! I’ve been diagnosed with a few things myself and I’m unable to motivate myself to make the changes. I’m besides myself cos I know I need to make changes and also what changes to make, but I don’t know how serious things will get before my being says - enough is enough, and starts doing something. I feel like I’m making small changes which are relatively low effort. Any words of wisdom?
Yep you are right I love them both and they have both had a huge impact on my life in my personal life my spiritual and psychological growth as well as my career choices and career paths for example when I volunteer it is scientific based mindfulness techniques for trauma resiliency inside of the residential addiction rehabilitation centers
@@rohsub I just wanted to say you can do it it's all up to you but you just have to start making healthy habits and just do it that's the hardest to start. I was at motivated at all either you have to make yourself do anything something.
I suffered from plantar fasciitis for years and the minute and I literally mean to the minute of walking (no pun intended) away from my narcissistic husband of 23 years my plantar fasciitis went away. It was like magic! There is truth to all this. Just be still and you will discover it.
Often when we talk about stress response, fight or flight we often forget that freeze is another very common response specially for those who have experienced sexual abuse. You camouflage yourself in the experience hoping the predator will miss their prey. There is no shame in not fighting back. Love and light for those who have experienced sexual abuse as a child may you heal and find find your peace 💟
He was part of the Venus project and in a pretty bad Zionist Utopian movie about 15 years ago, I think he was considered to communist / socialist for the still red terror filled USA . (I'm not pro far left or pro far right, they both have really bad elements/aspects, life is about balance).
Yes, I wholeheartedly agree!!! I fully believe his work and findings have tremendous healing powers and great promise!!! But at the same time, healing trauma is a very serious matter and should not be done with just anyone!! A safe environment with an experienced professional, well equipped in the process of trauma, I believe, is extremely important moving forward in the individual's healing process!!
I see here the Devine has chosen some very strong individuals who don’t know this word give up I was very I’ll most of my life Had a near death exsperience Prayed god to live I did never forgot god has been with me practically most of my life Well all of it , who ever we face we have a very strong team to do it Onwards and upwards To the light 💡 thanks to dr mate and all of us thank you Lord Devine for keeping us Safe ,!!!
I used to suffer from acne since I was 15 and tried almost everything to "fight" it. Until I realised I suppressed all anger and was the nice girl everywhere I went. Once I expressed my anger and set boundaries my acne has been improving immensely. His books should be mandatory to read in medical school. How much more we would be able to help people is almost shocking compared to swallowing pills and all.
I believe in his ideas , at least to an extent. But it is also possible that your hormone balance profile shifted, and this effected your skin AND your confidence/mood/anger. It's possibly untrue that it was the confidence/mood/anger that was what changed your skin.
I used to suffer from bad acne, and it went away during peri-menopause.I think it's hormonal. Some of my Mom's siblings had the same issue at around the age I was at the time. I worked in a nursing home and I never saw a patient with acne problems😅. Glad that's over!❤
@@bearnecessiteespolio5359Gabor doesn't say all diseases are from trauma or emotional distress what he says is how modern medicine has failed to look at all aspects that might cause the disease and they only focus on suppressing the pain.
I've made every mistake in the book with parenting my children, the guilt and regret has been crippling...serving only to reinforce and amplify my own addictions and self punishing. Even though I've spent many years working to resolve the trauma within, this discussion has catalyzed me to muster the courage to face my deepest fears of my own abusive childhood...deep breaths! Very grateful to you, Gabor Mate!
Just want to say I’m proud of you because you are facing the hardest pain next to grief there is… and the self forgiveness journey is an essential oart to healing generational trauma. Just that you are here watching this and examining your past says so much good about you. I’ve worked with families and when a parent admits to their flaws and failures it changes everything for the better. There is no greater gift we can give our kids than self forgiveness (not rationalization and excuses).
Don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes the worst trauma a parent can impose on a child is keeping them a perpetual child. Or replacing a husband/boyfriend with thier son. Helicopter parenting etc. I had a horrific childhood of physical and mental abuse. But even I look back at my childhood and there's more good than bad. Mum throwing me out the door at 7am till 10pm, at 10yrs old. Had its benefits. And the physical attacks...made me tough. I later became a champion thai boxer and it gave me access to travel and acheive great things for myself. I own a thai boxing club. I've trained other champions. I wouldn't have acheived that without the physical abuse and the hole in my soul...created by that woman. It helped me avoid women in relationship context. That would have been negative for me. I am thankful for those gifts I gained from her. I haven't spoken to her since 2000. I doubt I ever will again. But I am thankful I survived her. I can survive anything. And the life I have had as a result of the lessons learned from her abuse and neglect. Has been a great one. I wouldn't be the man I am. Without her. I don't love her. I have no positive feelings towards her. But I am thankful for what she did give me.
OH dear momma! - even the 'book' on parenting mistakes makes mistakes!!! And I did too..WE all did! There's con's to every pro we intentionally administered! You did the best you could with what you were aware of at that time. I'm sure of it! Look at the flip side of what your parenting " mistakes " developed positive results! Strong Will? Independence? Empathy, Work ethics? Kindness? Self-discipline? You raised good kids momma, you adore them! If you would, registered those experiences with them now and listen, hear, define the hurt your mistake caused, apologize and heal. That's all you can do. Don't shame yourself into feeling guilty and cracking open a beer, Forgive yourself, practice remembering the parenting wins, the heartfelt moments, loving memories... share those and repeat them! From a momma...to all you mommas! ...honor and gratitude! 🙏💜🫶🤰🤱👩🍼🔥🏆
I was in tears before the interview hit ten minutes.. I’m still in shock by how much I realized where addiction comes from. Interviews like this one, are my only “therapist” in figuring out my true purpose in life. Lewis Howes, your interviews are changing my life in ways that are unexplainable. I couldn’t be more grateful to be able to have access to information like this. Thank you !
Yup. Another vital resource is Alice Miller: - The Body Never Lies - For Your Own Good - Prisoners of Childhood (Drama of the Gifted Child is the awful American title of this book)
Healthy anger…..seems sensible for those times that blind sheep belittle and chastise people into slavery over trauma and greed. “You better check yaself before ya wreck ya self”
Healthy anger sounds like an oxymoron. Anger is a very exhausting emotion to have on board. It’s about forgiveness. And why? Because if we ever hope to be forgiven by God/higher power/universe, we’d best be extending it to our brethren. Leave judgments and resultant indictments to that same higher power. Anger isn’t a healthy defense against anything! It’s a reactive response to perceived stimuli. Dwight D Eisenhower said, ‘Don’t spend one minute thinking about someone that you don’t like’. Someone’s can be any situation or event that disturbs your inner serenity. “Learning to ignore things is one of the greatest paths to inner peace’. Robert J Sawyer I’ve had childhood trauma. I’ve sought to make my brain space calm and drama free. That includes NOT entertaining negative and angry thoughts. I’m in charge of my own mental health. There’s no justifying anger by adding ‘healthy’ to it.
I think this can have several interpretations but I agree with this. "Healthy anger" sounds like an oxymoron but it is needed to identify boundaries, and so people respect boundaries and take accountability for their actions. While forgiveness is great spiritually, to the person above me, one thing that is often overlooked is the HUMBLING required for forgiveness. Knowing WHEN to apologize and recognizing how your actions impact others as well is something missing in society. Also, it'd important to understand when you sit in unforgiveness and hold to anger how it erodes you over time, but also when you are aloof or expecting people to constantly forgive you for things after you vi0lated personal boundaries or intentionally hurt others...there's a balance and "healthy anger" is actually a way to express yourself and detox emotions. Ultimately, forgiveness is best spiritually, but constant positivity & forgiveness is not feasable with certain humans or spirits. Healthy anger creates healthy boundaries. We are still humans at the end of the day and those emotions will eventually come up. So one needs to know how to direct those emtotions without being destructive to others or ourselves. We aren't born wise and forgiving.
Further "healthy anger" makes sense for those who still carry the trauma of being rejected or punished by their care takers in childhood just for the simple expression of anger. This could cause that in adulthood you dont show or are afraid to show certain emotions and/or anger. So Healthy anger in this context makes absolutely sense as giving "safety" for those who are full of anger inside but have a hard time expressing it. Depression is most of the time the result of this. Its safe to show your anger..its healthy.
This guy is brilliant. When Lewis says "I felt trapped most of my childhood" this made me want to read his book. I have to say that I love when people open up about issues they've had.
And to think I put my grandson in timeout bc he had the nerve to have emotions…breaks my heart. Stumbling upon this video has opened my heart to allowing little people to have meltdowns and what to do about it, as well as allowing myself to have emotional meltdowns and to embrace them and realize it’s part of the process of forgiving myself for so many things in life
Dr Mate is one of the greatest healers of our time. We are so lucky to have him and be able to learn from him. Thank you Lewis, for bringing Dr Mate and for being so vulnerable as well. 🙏🏻
Addiction are hard to break but you can overcome this just stay stronge and if you have a small set back it's OK you can do it and overcome this no matter what your Addiction is
To anyone struggling with addictions, hang in there. Rome wasn't built in a day. We are all works in progress. It's not about how hard you hit but how many punches you can take. As long as you get back up, there is always a better tomorrow.
With no exception, it takes less than 60 seconds for me to get captivated when Gabor speaks, in each and every video, and I watched a countless number of videos over many years. Brilliant.
Dr Gabor your so humble & I hear the serenity in your voice.Im so grateful that I found you here.your voice is soothing & you speak in layman's term so all can understand.Ive learned so much from you.coming up on 23 yr in recovery this September Im so grateful for your service and I was gift an open mind I feel more serenity in my life in reconfirming I'm teachable still .thank you for your service love hearing your voice and your strength experience hop.huve fan
Amazing interview. Cried several times relating to different parts of what was said and just ordered his book I wait for a time when Gabor's knowledge is 'normal' in society, with all doctors, teachers, childcare and even in courts etc... it would totally change our world for the better 🙏💖🙏💖
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability Lewis. I had to stop half way through because it felt so intense. I am really grateful for your show. Working through trauma with 12 step programs. It really works. Not on Apple so no review. Sorry, I love your show!!
Speaking to 'The need to be seen and accepted for your authentic self' I think the increasing pressure society (and parents) put on kids about how special you need to be, everyone has to be "exceptional" in something when most of us are average. It creates a weird combination of both over entitlement and low self confidence because we think we should be recognized for something but we aren't. Its okay to just *be*
One can be addicted to being a victim , suffering or even their own narrative. We need to address our childhood trauma. We all have some pain and shame that we avoid.
I can not expressed to you the impact that this interview had on me. I’ve been into a process of healing since years ago. One of the things I felt guilt, anger and shame was not knowing better when raising my children. Even though they are good hard working kind human beings I always felt much of their emotional issues were caused by me. Don’t get me wrong, I was always a loving present parent but there were so many things I didn’t know and that I did that were wrong that the knowledge of that kills me. I needed to listen to this to learn that I really did my best with what I had. I just shared this with my daughter who is a single mother of a three year old girl. I see myself in her as a mom. Better than me but still repeating my ways. I just told her to please watch this so we can break the cicle here and now (I am helping her raise her daughter). I don’t know who said this but it is amazingly true, “We are victims of victims”. Love and light ♥️🙏🏼♥️
Core shame and guilt are debilitating, heavy burdens, I know them well, I was made the family scapegoat in a narcissistic household. As a child I blamed myself for my parents divorce which gave rise to shame and guilt and my mother did nothing to dispell those feelings, but rather doubled down on the shame, she was emotionally immature, emotionally distant / unavailable, which created fear and insecurity and a lack of self-worth / love. My mother came from a family of 10 children with an alcoholic, gambling addicted father. As a result of this kind of trauma, we never feel we are good enough, or deserve good things or people in our lives, and we are irrationally hard on ourselves, trying to be perfect and ruminating on what we perceive the deficit to be with regards to ideals vs reality. We have self-love deficit disorder. The cure is self-love, self-acceptance, hands down this is the way. We have to learn to take that empathetic compassion we have for animals and other people, and give it to ourselves, forgive ourselves, understand with our adult perspective, what we have been subjected to, and how we naturally adapted to cope with the pain.
My favorite quote in the movie Look Who’s Talking is when John Travolta is talking to Mikey the toddler and says “I think what makes a great Father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn’t drive the kids crazy.” That statement always stood out to me as the ultimate truth. ❤
I admire Dr. Gabor Maté. I rewatch some of his videos sometimes. He's helpful, encouraging and straightforward. I respect his work experience and his openness about his personal struggles and life in general.
I think my mom was very stressed while she was pregnant with me and I felt I was born in stress and created in violence because she did not want my dad's" attention". I hope humanity is going to take a turn and see that LOVE is the only way we can survive and care about each other create a better world.
Dr Gabor is a true pioneer. His model on addiction and its relationship to trauma is now widely embraced throughout the psychology and counseling community. I'm a client of a mental health center participating in their addiction group. One day I asked the counselor moderating the group if I could ask the group a question and she said "Well, that depends on what the question is" knowing I'm always pushing the envelop and always stirring the pot. I said I'd like to ask if anyone feels comfortable admitting they experienced any form of trauma during their life. She said she didn't have a problem with that so I asked, "Does anyone here feel comfortable admitting they experienced trauma growing up?" Every single person in that Zoom group admitted they experienced one or more forms of trauma during their lives here. From drug and alcohol addiction to food and gambling addictions. I love this guy, I've read all of his books. One of my favorites is "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" I have a deep love and respect for this man.
Addictions groups are never a good thing. Especially when there are people like you wanting to “stir the pot”. This destructive behavior is the reason why many should avoid being around impulsive people that want to push boundaries. It doesn’t matter that you asked an appropriate question, you admitted to liking being the one that likes defying the boundaries.
@@sarashepard7504 Because boundaries need to be pushed Sara. You enjoy living in a box, others don't. The bottom line is I asked for and was given permission by experts, you should be criticizing them, but hey!!! Your opinion of me carries no weight whatsoever. Your problems are really none of my business. You need to check yourself. Seriously.
I love Dr. Mate so much.Such great work from both of you healers here. Lewis, I really admire the way you adjusted your energy in order to meet Dr. Mate where he comes from while staying entirely engaged, I feel like it lifted his energy as well. That is real power & I feel like you're get deeper as a being all the time.
Yes sighn Ed of help take me out of this life Some people Are more sensitive than others in this life Not as strong I So sad two of my sons One as strong as a rock the other can’t say no, One shy The other exstrovert
@@dianehackett9602 Even in the same family children have different experiences. For instance the parents may be more stressed when one them comes along, had less finances or lost their job, got more depressed, had a death in the family or some other new trauma when the other one came along. Some parents just don't connect or like a certain kid cause it reminds them of someone or themselves. Check out Alice Miller in her "Prisoners of Childhood" book where parents admit this.
Wow! I just realized my ADHD definitely started as a coping mechanism, tuning out was my strategy when being rejected by my mom for being a gay kid. Thanks Dr. Gabor! Thanks Lewis!
I want to say that it is truly very important to be autentic and that you have a feeling of being loved and embraced and accepted no matter what . It is so very important to honour and experience moments of beauty, joy and even unconditional love and to really feel it - 🎵💜🎶🦄
I continue to learn about addiction. My ex husband has suffered so long. His last addiction was gym work outs,social media,steroid use,gay porn. I watched his spiral knowing this was the last for me. I agree that even with all the therapy we had NO ONE ever addressed the trauma. This video would be so informative to send him. I will not,research is up to him. Not sure he isn’t so fearful of finding the answers that he will never be enlightened. Very sad for me, he had 7 yrs of sobriety,I saw a different man. At least I had that. Married him twice. Now my healing is the gift I give to myself. Thank you for this format, so needed for so many.
Thank you! The traumas I experienced from an awful childhood explains my stresses, anger and self loathing. Being abandoned as a child caused deep emotional scars. I still weep as I am now for the little girl that I was looking for love, wishing and longing for loving parents. Especially when I was sick, had bad dreams or sexually abused. No one was there for me. I just had to shut off those experiences and pretend they didn't happen. I'm sure my siblings are experiencing the same feelings that as I am and affecting how they parent. I also cry for all the little ones now that suffer from toxic adults in their lives. I really appreciate this conversation. I look at life and treat people differently now. More understanding, caring and mindful of my attitude towards other human beings.
I'm there for you. Along my healing journey, I held my little 4 year old self as she cried desperately in confusion and absence of love. My adult self cried with her and wiped those many many many tears and bruises.. and heartbreak..and injustices...Grown up me treated her with what she needed back then, and I told her she was loved by me and I would save her... Times like this helped me heal. 😢🙏🫶❤️🩹
I have several experiences that mimic yours. Parents more interested in their careers than to pay a sitter to protect us when they knew my sister was deeply disturbed and incapable of caring for herself or anyone. Leading to so many abuses, I tried to tell my parents many times over the years but I was not allowed to finish before they dismissed it as being attention getting. Yet my sister was kicked out. I’m in therapy and EMDR but I cannot get to the origins of my trauma. I keep asking myself with a hope of an answer. But my whole body hurts and it’s been months. I need to find this missing peace to be able to start healing. So I keep asking without anger but compassionate inquiry.
Gabor is explaining my life to me. It made me emotional how some things became so clear to me. Why I am who I am today. It is self-discovery on another level.
'The freedom to experience all the emotions" I think my children pick up my unexpressive emotions. It's challenging to express/speak my truth because my parents were against us children talking back to them or those who are adult. I'm 51 and still have a hard time speaking up on how I feel about a certain things to keep the "peace" not feeling peaceful inside. I go into shut down mode (silent but deadly).
I love his ideas. I had to get the book. I haven’t started yet…but I think it’s his life’s work and I can’t wait to crack it open. Basically he’s my therapist, but he doesn’t know it. So …. I believe it’s possible for someone to do it alone…..BUT not alone. To say ; he’s my therapist through reading and listening to his explanations and experiences. And UA-cam is my support. Alone…..but NOT alone. ❤ And his tone is very relaxing.
Another vital resource is Alice Miller: - The Body Never Lies - For Your Own Good - Prisoners of Childhood (Drama of the Gifted Child is the awful American title of this book) Her books are out of copyright I believe and available in PDF online.
I am sending deep love and gratitude to you Lewis. Your child-like openness and genuine curiosity created a beautiful space for a deeply meaningful interview. You are a master facilitator of transformational conversations. You have a gift of reflecting back to distill the wisdom for us all. Thank you for your vulnerability. 🙏🏻❤️
48:15 - the 3 sources of our issues: 1. The conditioning (=our history in coping with adversities) 2. The fear we have to discover and live again our pains 3. The identification we make with our personality, that is we believe we are our personality
I wasn’t going to hear this bc his face reminded me of someone grumpy at church but wow wow wow… I fell in love with his calm voice, gentle spirit and wealth of information I really needed. Thank you for sharing this eloquent humble experienced doctor.
Doctor Gabor is one of my all time favorite person. Thanks Lewis for bringing him on. Fortunately, I was able to used Doctor Gabor’s concepts and moved my mind to absorb Buddha’s teachings in about 1 year. That’s where permanent peace is. Our mind, thoughts are just aggravates (likes and dislikes). They are impermanence and none self. Thank you very much Doctor Gabor. Good fortune everyone.
Notice how even a truly great man has trouble talking about his behavioral addictions, and hesitates for a moment, and a brief but unmistakable look of discomfort and shame passes across his face. _That should tell everyone something._
I have been following/listening to your interviews with the most intelligent human beings known to man for a few years now and they can speak and share all they know all day but the questions you ask are far greater than the knowledge of your guest!! Keep on doing what you do cause it's appreciated so very much!! 🤗
I'm so happy cause I found this guy. I love learn things to improve myself and understand my self better and he brings to me I new vision about deep fellings.
The thing is once you get clean you are back to the crippling anxiety and depression that was always there only now it's worse. It's not like everything is happily ever after once you get clean
😯I'm speechless!!! This was such an eye opener!😳 I been dealing with my own demons👿 and battles and traumatic events in my life!😈 This whole conversation has impacted my whole life! I just happened to see this pop up in my feed! I'm so thankful for this video! Thank you Dr. Gabor Mate'
Thank you for bringing Dr. Gabor Maté. 💜I heard his talk, When the Body Says No, and I was in awe witnessing his sincerity, and wholistic analysis of pain and humanity. So beautiful to hear him again, and what he is working on now.🙏🏻Thank you.
I'm crying watching this. I wish everyone peace and healing. We can overcome this. I'm battling with many issues but this is teaching me so much. Let's all try to help each other and learn from each other. Love ❤️ to everyone
I love this guy. He’s so easy to listen to. I like his honesty in admitting his own addiction. Watching Soft White Underbelly (You should have him. Have you had him?). Mark gets to the bottom. The interviewees always have had to deal with some addiction in the adults in their lives when they were children. Sex, alcohol, drugs, nicotine, etc. Those Addictions mess up everyone you are involved with.
That would be a great interview! However Lewis generally has highly educated, intellectual experts in their fields on his show. Mark is just a photographer who asks homeless people questions.
You will also love Alice Miller: - The Body Never Lies - For Your Own Good - Prisoners of Childhood (Drama of the Gifted Child is the awful American title of this book)
This is such a beautiful conversation you two have empathy that are out there helping us all. Both of you are Empaths 🤩 this is amazing this is what we need you are teaching to highest I see it this is how we change the world
Not being seen for who I am and accepted of course. This has been my greatest injustice in life. This is by far my favorite. I reflected so much just being in this space. Very grateful for the content. Buying the book.
I know I am late to the game... but I think NOW was when I was able to actually hear the "thruth"s ... brilliant! So many things in this interview resonate within me and I look forward to confronting my addictions, suffering and trauma.
Such an extraordinary soul Gabor is!!! So vulnerable, humble and evolved that he can share his personal details with ease even when he'll be judged by some
I totally love Gabor Mate.. He has such courage, such insight, such compassion, phenomenal eloquence. He makes it so easy to understand why we are indeed in a very sick and dysfunctional society. I didn't know the depth of my own trauma until I started reading his works a few years ago.. This would have stopped years of trying to understand why I was also in a state of grief.. I am now 70 years of age and am still working through it.. He is a remarkable man.
This is really inspiring, I agree fully with this advice, from my own experience. I got the idea that this is a family who has done their work to evolve out of the errors we all grew up with. One thing I struggled with in life was even though I have learned, and was able to practice, and improve so many things and feel better myself, I couldnt get my family to do the same. So I became this Island watching everyone else choose not to do the work to become a healthy family. And now I see the negative effect on the children that could have been completely avoided but werent.
Make sure to SUBSCRIBE for more #Greatness in your life and let me know what your biggest takeaways are from this video!
IMPORTANT:
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Shared this with my husband. Thank you for your content!
You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡
99
9
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I am one of those people diagnosed with breast cancer who refused treatment nine years ago and I’m fine. I had just lost my husband to a sudden heart attack and I didn’t care whether I lived or died. I chose to travel and experience life. Then I found my joy; singing. So I bought a guitar and taught myself to play and have experienced that joy of playing and singing music daily, enjoying whatever time I have on this earth. I had the tumor surgically removed and when I refused the treatment my doctor was horrified and called me at home to make sure I understood the numbers regarding my chance of survival. I told her I understood. But I also understand that you have no control over the quantity of your life; you only control the quality. And I didn’t want to spend my time losing my hair, being sick and still dying. I’m sure she thought I was nuts! But here I am 😊
🧡🧡🧡
Great practical finding of life. Sooner or later well die, rich or poor, smart or mediocre. It's all about the wise personal choice the joy of life is made up with.
Wonderful! My sentiments exactly!
Amazing journey, you go girl ❤❤
If you don’t mind me asking was your husband an addict? My condolences ❤
I'm 70 and have been an addict for most of my life and blamed myself for it as did everyone who knew me. Dr Mate freed me from my pain when he said that 99% of addicts suffered some type of abuse in the first 18 months of life, I was adopted.
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Dr. Gabor Mate was my older brother Graham DR. here in Vancouver BC. My brother had such a brutal childhood as did I. Graham was addicted to drugs and violence his whole life.
Dr. Mate made my brother feel 'LOVED and HEARD for the first time in his life. he always smiled when telling me about this wonderful man. I sat with my brother while he was dying from liver cancer in 2017. He was my big brother and he protected me from my father's brutality when I was a little girl and he endured unimaginable torture which I witnessed. Graham loved DR. Mate. Listen deeply to his words. DR.Mate Thank you.
God bless your brother. May he rest in eternal peace x
Thanks for sharing
Thank you for your insight. May your brother rest in peace 🙏
@merrylynnallison6922 What a fantastic human being your brother was. May his beautiful soul rest in peace. Stay strong and at peace my friend x
I’m so glad you took the time to share this. I lost my son who was addicted to alcohol and prescribed medication, he died alone in his bed. I had only just discovered Gabor and was reading ‘When the Body Says No’, to h err looking me understand how I had got cancer for the third time. He helped me to understand the cause, which began, like yourself, with childhood trauma. I have survived stage 4 colon cancer, but I have always felt so guilty that I couldn’t save my son. Your brother had the master, Gabor himself, not just the books and podcasts that I had, but no one could save him because he had to save himself. Yes Gabor’s teachings and wisdom helped me, but I had to do all the work. My son was so angry with his father, an alcoholic also, he just couldn’t find a way to forgive him and let it go. Being aware is only the beginning …. it’s a long hard road, but it’s worth it, especially for my beautiful grandchildren. Thank you ❤️
Opioid addiction actually destroyed my life. I started doing drugs 18 years ago as a teenage. Got addicted to opioid. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Was actually diagnosed with OCD. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 3 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
No doubts shrooms are 100% blessings from nature. Indeed nature's little miracles
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
Yes sure of Predroavaro. Mushrooms are very medicinal. This is why anybody familiar with psilocybin and any other kind of fungi will tell you, "They are alive." They have a very ancient wisdom. To my experience, all mushrooms have always said, "Pay attention to your life. How you think, how you feel, and what will you do with the information that you always knew, but now are seeing in this point of view." This is why mushrooms are so respected in tribal cultures. This mental health treatment works for me too. Half micro doses do the trick for me. At least a few days at a time with lengthy time in between. Never addictive. Thank you for sharing this point!
How do I reach out to him? Is he on Facebook
Yes he's Predroavaro a professional mycologist. Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have
really helped him. mah dudes have safe
trips all.
I picked up "When the Body Says No" after being diagnosed with stage 4 Colon Cancer at 35. It kicked my ass in gear to work on my Trauma and my stress just as aggressively as my Cancer was being treated. I know of three other individuals that have passed away from the same Cancer as me and I feel the reason I am here is associated with the work I did on the trauma and how I deal with the toxicity in my life. Cancer doesn't have to mean life OR death. I chose to live even in the accelerated possibility of death.
Fantastic! ♥️🔥🌹😘
I am proud of you. ❤️❤️❤️
@@shenaepowell7843 so am i. Unfortunately, after "Agent Orange", cancer got the best of my granddaughter at just 14, who did her best to fight it for five horrible years of pain and torture... bless her beautiful and truly set apart soul! Nadia! ❤️🔥💐🌅💯
Spot on fascinating I was just telling my daughter about disease and how the Western world cause of that but then it's really the energy and it balls up and it's stuck in there and it is well. D i s ease
Brilliant 👏 what methods have you used for the trauma and toxicity in your life. Enjoy your good health
Dopamine Enigma Unveiled seriously blew my mind. Learning about dopamine optimization and detox completely changed how I approach productivity and focus. Has anyone else here tried applying these techniques? The section on unlocking peak mental performance was a game-changer for me!
Intriguing
Who else liked this video immediately knowing Dr. Gabor was about to bring you to another level of awareness?☀️
Ahaha I knew it wasn't only me! My emotional intelligence and self-awareness after discovering Gabor Mate: 📈📈📈
big deal. does that make my reality any better? does it heal my problems? nope!
When I was 29 after 5 years of being in ER almost every night with asthma, my doctors told me I had less than 6 months to live. That was 1979. At that time when I was first told my illness was psychosomatic I was greatly offended, I am not making this up, I am really sick. After the doctors gave up on me, and I sot alternatives I found out that my physical manifestation was due to both past and present traumas, and when I addressed them I changed my life, and in the last 40+ years have never been in ER for asthma since. Take a breath and seek help from people who understand mind body connection, your other choice is to continue to suffer or die too early.
how lucky I feel to have listened to this conversation, between 2 well meaning people. trouble is, it makes me just pill the blinds down and close the shutters, to sleep at 5pm. and I'm so old 😪 xxx🤯🤞🙏🏻
well, share here what did you use and what did you do??
Yep! Most people have zero clue how connected the mind and body. Lots of what Gabe says is information I have known for years and so my best to help explain but because I don’t have a Dr degree, that cast me off as if I don’t know what I’m talking about. For me, so much is common sense. I’ve been aware of mind body spirit connection for so long, I don’t know how long. When I was 2 years old was a moment I made a conscious decision to never forget who I am on the inside even though I’ve suffered greatly from the hands of my deceased father of sexual abuse. This knowing inside me IS WHAT helped me move through and then overcome abuse. I didn’t see myself so much as a victim but a survivor. I ended up marrying someone who abused me in every way but the physical although there were times it was close to being physical.
Kudos to you for realizing the truth, coming to terms with it, and changing your life positively.
How did you find the trauma? I don’t want to keep trying after 26 year as of therapy?
BINGO! you got it. my mom had had asthma since childhood, 5 years old. at the age of 60, she had a ten minute EFT session and it basically got cured. she doesn't even own an inhaler anymore. fascinating, isn't it? :)
Can we just appreciate how Lewis asked everything that was so spot on. How these two beautiful souls shared their wisdom with us. You both are a blessing for the whole mankind. Nobel peace prize for you both ❤️
Appreciate you🧡
Thank you so much I enjoyed this chat
Also I'd love to share the method I've built with you to learn how to find the seed of the issue and the seed essence of your "real" self.
The more people get back on track the better.
Lewis you and the Dr. Did a great job! I found this whole session to be very enlightening. I am going out today to get his book and yours also.
Couldn't agree more. The perfect questions were asked here!
"What is your body saying no to... that you're not saying no to."
BAM!!! So succinct and perfect. My new mantra 🥰
I loved this too.
Healthy wealthy and wise
Yes
😍
I'm living this question right now
I really respect this man for answering many times with " I don't know how to answer this question".
""the things that are considered as normal in society.. Are not at all normal from the point of view of human life and human needs.. It's totally unhealthy.. So the addictions and the diseases and the mental illnesses that people do develop are actually normal responses to an abnormal situation"
Exactly exactly!!
Exactly!
I’m paraphrasing but I believe Jiddna Krisnamurti said something to the tune of it “being no measure of man to be well adjusted to a maladaptive society”.
For me the pain of continuing my addiction became greater than the pain of quitting. I have six years off opiates and Dr. Maté really helped me understand what was going on with me. So grateful.
That's amazing! Well done you❤ May you continue to thrive
Congrats on that accomplishment. That's one climb so many stumble on. I'm so happy you have your life back!!
I have been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, Interstitial Cystitis, PTSD and complex PTSD and was so lucky to have one of those doctors who DID ask me about the stresses in my life and recommended I read Dr Gabor Mate's book "When the Body says no" very early after my diagnosis. Changed my life and caused me to completely change the way I live my life. Now I'm such a huge fan of his work. He is the Carl Jung of our day.
Loved this interview. 💗
Thanks for being here!
@TestTest : "Bravo"!
That’s awesome! I’ve been diagnosed with a few things myself and I’m unable to motivate myself to make the changes. I’m besides myself cos I know I need to make changes and also what changes to make, but I don’t know how serious things will get before my being says - enough is enough, and starts doing something. I feel like I’m making small changes which are relatively low effort. Any words of wisdom?
Yep you are right I love them both and they have both had a huge impact on my life in my personal life my spiritual and psychological growth as well as my career choices and career paths for example when I volunteer it is scientific based mindfulness techniques for trauma resiliency inside of the residential addiction rehabilitation centers
@@rohsub I just wanted to say you can do it it's all up to you but you just have to start making healthy habits and just do it that's the hardest to start. I was at motivated at all either you have to make yourself do anything something.
There are millions of interviews out there with Dr Gabor Mate, but Lewis Howes, this is in my humble opinion the best one.
Thank you so much! Your comment made my day 😊
Agree
Yes each talk I heat opens my ears and Hearso every talk I hear is the best...THEN I save to relisten😅
@@christineengel562 me too!
I suffered from plantar fasciitis for years and the minute and I literally mean to the minute of walking (no pun intended) away from my narcissistic husband of 23 years my plantar fasciitis went away. It was like magic! There is truth to all this. Just be still and you will discover it.
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Wow! That's amazing! Congratulations and thank you for your comment.
Often when we talk about stress response, fight or flight we often forget that freeze is another very common response specially for those who have experienced sexual abuse. You camouflage yourself in the experience hoping the predator will miss their prey. There is no shame in not fighting back. Love and light for those who have experienced sexual abuse as a child may you heal and find find your peace 💟
This is one of the better interviews with Gabor that I’ve seen on youtube. Lewis’ energy and demeanor made Gabor seem at ease and more open
Thanks for being here!
Probably one of the best interviews you've ever done. This is fascinating.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Gabor should’ve been acknowledged decades ago but I’m glad he’s getting some attention now
🙌
He was part of the Venus project and in a pretty bad Zionist Utopian movie about 15 years ago, I think he was considered to communist / socialist for the still red terror filled USA . (I'm not pro far left or pro far right, they both have really bad elements/aspects, life is about balance).
Yes, I wholeheartedly agree!!! I fully believe his work and findings have tremendous healing powers and great promise!!! But at the same time, healing trauma is a very serious matter and should not be done with just anyone!! A safe environment with an experienced professional, well equipped in the process of trauma, I believe, is extremely important moving forward in the individual's healing process!!
I love this man!!! Soooo wise beyond words!!!🙏❤
ABSOLUTELY!
IF ONLY, EVERYONE IN THE WORLD WOULD LEARN AND PRACTICE HIS WISDOM!
Sending love to Dr. Mate, he's an amazing authentic human being.
I see here the Devine has chosen some very strong individuals who don’t know this word give up I was very I’ll most of my life Had a near death exsperience Prayed god to live I did never forgot god has been with me practically most of my life Well all of it , who ever we face we have a very strong team to do it Onwards and upwards To the light 💡 thanks to dr mate and all of us thank you Lord Devine for keeping us Safe ,!!!
Addiction iss a soul distorting illness whatever form it takes and needs help Patience
All time of Devine
@@dianehackett9602 YAHbsolutely divine, in-DEED! ♥️🔥🌹😇
I used to suffer from acne since I was 15 and tried almost everything to "fight" it. Until I realised I suppressed all anger and was the nice girl everywhere I went. Once I expressed my anger and set boundaries my acne has been improving immensely. His books should be mandatory to read in medical school. How much more we would be able to help people is almost shocking compared to swallowing pills and all.
yes that is true , but pharmaceutical corperations do not want you to heal yourself and "they" are primary funder for med schools ... 🫤
I believe in his ideas , at least to an extent. But it is also possible that your hormone balance profile shifted, and this effected your skin AND your confidence/mood/anger. It's possibly untrue that it was the confidence/mood/anger that was what changed your skin.
I used to suffer from bad acne, and it went away during peri-menopause.I think it's hormonal. Some of my Mom's siblings had the same issue at around the age I was at the time. I worked in a nursing home and I never saw a patient with acne problems😅. Glad that's over!❤
@@bearnecessiteespolio5359Gabor doesn't say all diseases are from trauma or emotional distress what he says is how modern medicine has failed to look at all aspects that might cause the disease and they only focus on suppressing the pain.
I hope doctor Mate lives forever ♥️♥️♥️
You will too Mammi♥️🔥🌹
He is a real doctor!
I've made every mistake in the book with parenting my children, the guilt and regret has been crippling...serving only to reinforce and amplify my own addictions and self punishing. Even though I've spent many years working to resolve the trauma within, this discussion has catalyzed me to muster the courage to face my deepest fears of my own abusive childhood...deep breaths! Very grateful to you, Gabor Mate!
Just want to say I’m proud of you because you are facing the hardest pain next to grief there is… and the self forgiveness journey is an essential oart to healing generational trauma. Just that you are here watching this and examining your past says so much good about you. I’ve worked with families and when a parent admits to their flaws and failures it changes everything for the better. There is no greater gift we can give our kids than self forgiveness (not rationalization and excuses).
The stigma is clear
You don’t have to hurt yourself again. Forgive yourself for being human
Don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes the worst trauma a parent can impose on a child is keeping them a perpetual child. Or replacing a husband/boyfriend with thier son. Helicopter parenting etc.
I had a horrific childhood of physical and mental abuse. But even I look back at my childhood and there's more good than bad. Mum throwing me out the door at 7am till 10pm, at 10yrs old. Had its benefits. And the physical attacks...made me tough. I later became a champion thai boxer and it gave me access to travel and acheive great things for myself. I own a thai boxing club. I've trained other champions. I wouldn't have acheived that without the physical abuse and the hole in my soul...created by that woman. It helped me avoid women in relationship context. That would have been negative for me. I am thankful for those gifts I gained from her. I haven't spoken to her since 2000. I doubt I ever will again. But I am thankful I survived her. I can survive anything. And the life I have had as a result of the lessons learned from her abuse and neglect. Has been a great one. I wouldn't be the man I am. Without her. I don't love her. I have no positive feelings towards her. But I am thankful for what she did give me.
OH dear momma! - even the 'book' on parenting mistakes makes mistakes!!! And I did too..WE all did! There's con's to every pro we intentionally administered! You did the best you could with what you were aware of at that time. I'm sure of it! Look at the flip side of what your parenting " mistakes " developed positive results!
Strong Will? Independence? Empathy, Work ethics? Kindness? Self-discipline? You raised good kids momma, you adore them!
If you would, registered those experiences with them now and listen, hear, define the hurt your mistake caused, apologize and heal.
That's all you can do.
Don't shame yourself into feeling guilty and cracking open a beer,
Forgive yourself, practice remembering the parenting wins, the heartfelt moments, loving memories... share those and repeat them!
From a momma...to all you mommas! ...honor and gratitude!
🙏💜🫶🤰🤱👩🍼🔥🏆
I was in tears before the interview hit ten minutes.. I’m still in shock by how much I realized where addiction comes from. Interviews like this one, are my only “therapist” in figuring out my true purpose in life. Lewis Howes, your interviews are changing my life in ways that are unexplainable. I couldn’t be more grateful to be able to have access to information like this. Thank you !
You know yourself best. Good wishes to your healing yourself like no one else can 😀
Good Luck, May you get healed!
May the Force be with you and you find your flow...don't ever give up, you are beautiful as you are. :)
Me too! I cried like a baby. This one really hit home on so many levels. By far my favorite.
you're not alone...
We need to keep this man alive at all costs. Dr. Gabor Maté security team standby.
Yup. Another vital resource is Alice Miller:
- The Body Never Lies
- For Your Own Good
- Prisoners of Childhood (Drama of the Gifted Child is the awful American title of this book)
“Healthy anger is a boundary defence”
Love this guy
Healthy anger…..seems sensible for those times that blind sheep belittle and chastise people into slavery over trauma and greed. “You better check yaself before ya wreck ya self”
Healthy anger sounds like an oxymoron. Anger is a very exhausting emotion to have on board. It’s about forgiveness. And why? Because if we ever hope to be forgiven by God/higher power/universe, we’d best be extending it to our brethren. Leave judgments and resultant indictments to that same higher power. Anger isn’t a healthy defense against anything! It’s a reactive response to perceived stimuli. Dwight D Eisenhower said, ‘Don’t spend one minute thinking about someone that you don’t like’. Someone’s can be any situation or event that disturbs your inner serenity. “Learning to ignore things is one of the greatest paths to inner peace’. Robert J Sawyer
I’ve had childhood trauma. I’ve sought to make my brain space calm and drama free. That includes NOT entertaining negative and angry thoughts. I’m in charge of my own mental health. There’s no justifying anger by adding ‘healthy’ to it.
I think this can have several interpretations but I agree with this. "Healthy anger" sounds like an oxymoron but it is needed to identify boundaries, and so people respect boundaries and take accountability for their actions. While forgiveness is great spiritually, to the person above me, one thing that is often overlooked is the HUMBLING required for forgiveness. Knowing WHEN to apologize and recognizing how your actions impact others as well is something missing in society. Also, it'd important to understand when you sit in unforgiveness and hold to anger how it erodes you over time, but also when you are aloof or expecting people to constantly forgive you for things after you vi0lated personal boundaries or intentionally hurt others...there's a balance and "healthy anger" is actually a way to express yourself and detox emotions. Ultimately, forgiveness is best spiritually, but constant positivity & forgiveness is not feasable with certain humans or spirits. Healthy anger creates healthy boundaries. We are still humans at the end of the day and those emotions will eventually come up. So one needs to know how to direct those emtotions without being destructive to others or ourselves. We aren't born wise and forgiving.
@@hoosierbaddy3052 you dont have to forgive just because "you have to.."
Further "healthy anger" makes sense for those who still carry the trauma of being rejected or punished by their care takers in childhood just for the simple expression of anger. This could cause that in adulthood you dont show or are afraid to show certain emotions and/or anger. So Healthy anger in this context makes absolutely sense as giving "safety" for those who are full of anger inside but have a hard time expressing it. Depression is most of the time the result of this. Its safe to show your anger..its healthy.
This guy is brilliant. When Lewis says "I felt trapped most of my childhood" this made me want to read his book. I have to say that I love when people open up about issues they've had.
Thanks for being here!
And to think I put my grandson in timeout bc he had the nerve to have emotions…breaks my heart. Stumbling upon this video has opened my heart to allowing little people to have meltdowns and what to do about it, as well as allowing myself to have emotional meltdowns and to embrace them and realize it’s part of the process of forgiving myself for so many things in life
Lewis is too cute in his respect and admiration for Dr. Mate. Love Dr. Mate and love this beautiful exchange. Thank you! 🙏🏻
Dr Mate is one of the greatest healers of our time. We are so lucky to have him and be able to learn from him. Thank you Lewis, for bringing Dr Mate and for being so vulnerable as well. 🙏🏻
You're welcome🧡
you know why he's so good? Because he is wounded. The Wounded Healer...he wrote an article about that.
1:14:55 The biggest lost is loosing the connection with themselves.
1:16:06 Really, the task is to become authentic.
Interviewer is a very good listener, no big ego or anything getting in the way
🧡
I love Dr Gabor Mate’s work so much! Thank you for this episode! So much to learn!
So welcome!
I healed my Trauma, addiction, depression on my own through exercise, meditation & connect with nature & watching your videos.
Addiction are hard to break but you can overcome this just stay stronge and if you have a small set back it's OK you can do it and overcome this no matter what your Addiction is
To anyone struggling with addictions, hang in there. Rome wasn't built in a day. We are all works in progress. It's not about how hard you hit but how many punches you can take. As long as you get back up, there is always a better tomorrow.
Agreed!!
A soft touch 1x in one spot is nice.A soft touch 100x will be painful & cause a blister & burst. So there's a disagreement.
Well said we all go through hard moments..
Thank you for this 🙏
@the.seagull.35you need to
GOAT!! He's taught me view others and myself through the lens of compassion. What a genius, powerful, yet gentle human.
Thanks for being here!
Love, does conquer all things! Even diseases. 😘
I have to get over my father's negative words at my age of 45. He was raised around a negative father.
So true we live in a sick system so off course we become sick. It's a normal reaction to our abnormal surroundings.
With no exception, it takes less than 60 seconds for me to get captivated when Gabor speaks, in each and every video, and I watched a countless number of videos over many years. Brilliant.
Thanks for being here!
Dr Gabor your so humble & I hear the serenity in your voice.Im so grateful that I found you here.your voice is soothing & you speak in layman's term so all can understand.Ive learned so much from you.coming up on 23 yr in recovery this September Im so grateful for your service and I was gift an open mind I feel more serenity in my life in reconfirming I'm teachable still .thank you for your service love hearing your voice and your strength experience hop.huve fan
Amazing interview. Cried several times relating to different parts of what was said and just ordered his book
I wait for a time when Gabor's knowledge is 'normal' in society, with all doctors, teachers, childcare and even in courts etc... it would totally change our world for the better 🙏💖🙏💖
So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to follow my page and leave me a review here:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id596047499
@@lewishowesI'm not on apple 😬 so can't review x
AGREE!!! 100%
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability Lewis. I had to stop half way through because it felt so intense. I am really grateful for your show. Working through trauma with 12 step programs. It really works.
Not on Apple so no review. Sorry, I love your show!!
Speaking to 'The need to be seen and accepted for your authentic self' I think the increasing pressure society (and parents) put on kids about how special you need to be, everyone has to be "exceptional" in something when most of us are average. It creates a weird combination of both over entitlement and low self confidence because we think we should be recognized for something but we aren't. Its okay to just *be*
This comment is so true. I agree with this 100%.
@@janettemckillop6054 in-DEED 🤔♥️🔥
I raised my kids without TV.
Gabor Mate is one of the most compassionate man of our time.
One can be addicted to being a victim , suffering or even their own narrative.
We need to address our childhood trauma. We all have some pain and shame that we avoid.
I can not expressed to you the impact that this interview had on me. I’ve been into a process of healing since years ago. One of the things I felt guilt, anger and shame was not knowing better when raising my children. Even though they are good hard working kind human beings I always felt much of their emotional issues were caused by me. Don’t get me wrong, I was always a loving present parent but there were so many things I didn’t know and that I did that were wrong that the knowledge of that kills me. I needed to listen to this to learn that I really did my best with what I had. I just shared this with my daughter who is a single mother of a three year old girl. I see myself in her as a mom. Better than me but still repeating my ways. I just told her to please watch this so we can break the cicle here and now (I am helping her raise her daughter). I don’t know who said this but it is amazingly true, “We are victims of victims”. Love and light ♥️🙏🏼♥️
what a Wonderful person you are! thank you for Being. Namaste
@@Sunny-vm4ry Thank you 🙏🏼 Namaste
Core shame and guilt are debilitating, heavy burdens, I know them well, I was made the family scapegoat in a narcissistic household. As a child I blamed myself for my parents divorce which gave rise to shame and guilt and my mother did nothing to dispell those feelings, but rather doubled down on the shame, she was emotionally immature, emotionally distant / unavailable, which created fear and insecurity and a lack of self-worth / love.
My mother came from a family of 10 children with an alcoholic, gambling addicted father. As a result of this kind of trauma, we never feel we are good enough, or deserve good things or people in our lives, and we are irrationally hard on ourselves, trying to be perfect and ruminating on what we perceive the deficit to be with regards to ideals vs reality. We have self-love deficit disorder.
The cure is self-love, self-acceptance, hands down this is the way. We have to learn to take that empathetic compassion we have for animals and other people, and give it to ourselves, forgive ourselves, understand with our adult perspective, what we have been subjected to, and how we naturally adapted to cope with the pain.
@@HeartFeltGesture Forgiveness is in-DEED YAHsomely effective! ♥️🔥🌹
My favorite quote in the movie Look Who’s Talking is when John Travolta is talking to Mikey the toddler and says “I think what makes a great Father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn’t drive the kids crazy.” That statement always stood out to me as the ultimate truth. ❤
I admire Dr. Gabor Maté. I rewatch some of his videos sometimes. He's helpful, encouraging and straightforward. I respect his work experience and his openness about his personal struggles and life in general.
I think my mom was very stressed while she was pregnant with me and I felt I was born in stress and created in violence because she did not want my dad's" attention". I hope humanity is going to take a turn and see that LOVE is the only way we can survive and care about each other create a better world.
In-DEED ♥️🔥🌹
Dr Gabor is a true pioneer. His model on addiction and its relationship to trauma is now widely embraced throughout the psychology and counseling community. I'm a client of a mental health center participating in their addiction group. One day I asked the counselor moderating the group if I could ask the group a question and she said "Well, that depends on what the question is" knowing I'm always pushing the envelop and always stirring the pot. I said I'd like to ask if anyone feels comfortable admitting they experienced any form of trauma during their life. She said she didn't have a problem with that so I asked, "Does anyone here feel comfortable admitting they experienced trauma growing up?" Every single person in that Zoom group admitted they experienced one or more forms of trauma during their lives here. From drug and alcohol addiction to food and gambling addictions. I love this guy, I've read all of his books. One of my favorites is "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" I have a deep love and respect for this man.
how do i get into a zoom group like this? based on his teachings.
I have a quote on my wall," the number one gateway drug is TRAUMA."
@@RavenLunatik PeaCe2U my friend.
Addictions groups are never a good thing. Especially when there are people like you wanting to “stir the pot”. This destructive behavior is the reason why many should avoid being around impulsive people that want to push boundaries. It doesn’t matter that you asked an appropriate question, you admitted to liking being the one that likes defying the boundaries.
@@sarashepard7504 Because boundaries need to be pushed Sara. You enjoy living in a box, others don't. The bottom line is I asked for and was given permission by experts, you should be criticizing them, but hey!!! Your opinion of me carries no weight whatsoever. Your problems are really none of my business. You need to check yourself. Seriously.
I was not familiar with the words of Dr. Gabor Maté until today. I am amazed by his wisdom and deep information received bow! Thank you 🙏
His book Realm of the Hungry Ghost is a deep good read.
Also Alice Miller's books: 1. The Body Never Lies 2. For Your Own Good 3. Prisoners of Childhood
I love Dr. Mate so much.Such great work from both of you healers here. Lewis, I really admire the way you adjusted your energy in order to meet Dr. Mate where he comes from while staying entirely engaged, I feel like it lifted his energy as well. That is real power & I feel like you're get deeper as a being all the time.
People are not addicted to alcohol or drugs, they are addicted to escaping reality.
- Anonymous
Yes sighn Ed of help take me out of this life
Some people Are more sensitive than others in this life Not as strong I
So sad two of my sons One as strong as a rock the other can’t say no,
One shy The other exstrovert
@@dianehackett9602 Even in the same family children have different experiences. For instance the parents may be more stressed when one them comes along, had less finances or lost their job, got more depressed, had a death in the family or some other new trauma when the other one came along.
Some parents just don't connect or like a certain kid cause it reminds them of someone or themselves. Check out Alice Miller in her "Prisoners of Childhood" book where parents admit this.
@@testtest2609 ♥️
Gabor is my role model in addition and trauma treatment/programs. Thanks Lewis for bringing us Gabor.
Listen to this great healer and then apply it to your life. You are more powerful than you have been led to believe.
LEWIS,YOU HAVE THE BEST PEOPLE!
Thanks!
Knowledge is not the same as wisdom. Wisdom is the application of knowledge 😇
Wow! I just realized my ADHD definitely started as a coping mechanism, tuning out was my strategy when being rejected by my mom for being a gay kid. Thanks Dr. Gabor! Thanks Lewis!
My mom hated me because she couldn't get an abortion and she didn't want kids
Hands up to Gabor Mate what an amazing explanation
Thanks for being here! 🧡
I want to say that it is truly very important to be autentic and that you have a feeling of being loved and embraced and accepted no matter what .
It is so very important to honour and experience moments of beauty, joy and even unconditional love and to really feel it - 🎵💜🎶🦄
I continue to learn about addiction. My ex husband has suffered so long. His last addiction was gym work outs,social media,steroid use,gay porn.
I watched his spiral knowing this was the last for me. I agree that even with all the therapy we had NO ONE ever addressed the trauma.
This video would be so informative to send him. I will not,research is up to him. Not sure he isn’t so fearful of finding the answers that he will never
be enlightened. Very sad for me, he had 7 yrs of sobriety,I saw a different man. At least I had that. Married him twice. Now my healing is the gift I give to myself. Thank you for this format, so needed for so many.
This conversation was so honest and real, I really hope that Dr. Máté Gábor will return in your show. 🧡
Thank you so much for watching!
Thank you! The traumas I experienced from an awful childhood explains my stresses, anger and self loathing. Being abandoned as a child caused deep emotional scars. I still weep as I am now for the little girl that I was looking for love, wishing and longing for loving parents. Especially when I was sick, had bad dreams or sexually abused. No one was there for me. I just had to shut off those experiences and pretend they didn't happen.
I'm sure my siblings are experiencing the same feelings that as I am and affecting how they parent. I also cry for all the little ones now that suffer from toxic adults in their lives. I really appreciate this conversation. I look at life and treat people differently now. More understanding, caring and mindful of my attitude towards other human beings.
God loves you and will never abandon you. Please read the final revelation the holy Quran.
I'm there for you. Along my healing journey, I held my little 4 year old self as she cried desperately in confusion and absence of love. My adult self cried with her and wiped those many many many tears and bruises.. and heartbreak..and injustices...Grown up me treated her with what she needed back then, and I told her she was loved by me and I would save her...
Times like this helped me heal.
😢🙏🫶❤️🩹
I have several experiences that mimic yours. Parents more interested in their careers than to pay a sitter to protect us when they knew my sister was deeply disturbed and incapable of caring for herself or anyone. Leading to so many abuses, I tried to tell my parents many times over the years but I was not allowed to finish before they dismissed it as being attention getting. Yet my sister was kicked out. I’m in therapy and EMDR but I cannot get to the origins of my trauma. I keep asking myself with a hope of an answer. But my whole body hurts and it’s been months. I need to find this missing peace to be able to start healing. So I keep asking without anger but compassionate inquiry.
Gabor is explaining my life to me. It made me emotional how some things became so clear to me. Why I am who I am today. It is self-discovery on another level.
'The freedom to experience all the emotions" I think my children pick up my unexpressive emotions. It's challenging to express/speak my truth because my parents were against us children talking back to them or those who are adult. I'm 51 and still have a hard time speaking up on how I feel about a certain things to keep the "peace" not feeling peaceful inside. I go into shut down mode (silent but deadly).
Gabor is a moral treasure
I love his ideas. I had to get the book. I haven’t started yet…but I think it’s his life’s work and I can’t wait to crack it open. Basically he’s my therapist, but he doesn’t know it. So …. I believe it’s possible for someone to do it alone…..BUT not alone.
To say ; he’s my therapist through reading and listening to his explanations and experiences. And UA-cam is my support.
Alone…..but NOT alone. ❤
And his tone is very relaxing.
I just love Dr Gabor Mate ❤️
I am just so proud that I learned english to access this level of material online. Thank you, Gabor is such a rare gem.
Thank you so much for watching!
Another vital resource is Alice Miller:
- The Body Never Lies
- For Your Own Good
- Prisoners of Childhood (Drama of the Gifted Child is the awful American title of this book)
Her books are out of copyright I believe and available in PDF online.
I am sending deep love and gratitude to you Lewis. Your child-like openness and genuine curiosity created a beautiful space for a deeply meaningful interview. You are a master facilitator of transformational conversations. You have a gift of reflecting back to distill the wisdom for us all. Thank you for your vulnerability. 🙏🏻❤️
Appreciate you and your support🧡
Yes it possible, I'm free now in my 50s very damaged, seeing a psychologist by the time I was 5 years old, now I say thank you 😊 🙏 to the universe ❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
48:15 - the 3 sources of our issues:
1. The conditioning (=our history in coping with adversities)
2. The fear we have to discover and live again our pains
3. The identification we make with our personality, that is we believe we are our personality
‘Love is all there is’ - Thats what Ive found to be the ultimate truth.
I wasn’t going to hear this bc his face reminded me of someone grumpy at church but wow wow wow… I fell in love with his calm voice, gentle spirit and wealth of information I really needed. Thank you for sharing this eloquent humble experienced doctor.
You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡
Gabor has - is saving more lives with his truth than all the lies through all the years has ever changed.
Doctor Gabor is one of my all time favorite person. Thanks Lewis for bringing him on. Fortunately, I was able to used Doctor Gabor’s concepts and moved my mind to absorb Buddha’s teachings in about 1 year. That’s where permanent peace is. Our mind, thoughts are just aggravates (likes and dislikes). They are impermanence and none self. Thank you very much Doctor Gabor. Good fortune everyone.
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
Notice how even a truly great man has trouble talking about his behavioral addictions, and hesitates for a moment, and a brief but unmistakable look of discomfort and shame passes across his face. _That should tell everyone something._
That we are all human and especially in our world today of idolising people.
@Aisha.Ricci005 Yes. And that the best find this hard. Now imagine a person with fewer inner resources and a much more maligned behavioral addiction.
I have been following/listening to your interviews with the most intelligent human beings known to man for a few years now and they can speak and share all they know all day but the questions you ask are far greater than the knowledge of your guest!! Keep on doing what you do cause it's appreciated so very much!! 🤗
Will do, thank you so much for watching!
I'm so happy cause I found this guy. I love learn things to improve myself and understand my self better and he brings to me I new vision about deep fellings.
I know so many people who beat addiction to drugs, alcohol, smoking and all other addictions. It isn’t a lifelong chronic disease like they tell us.
The thing is once you get clean you are back to the crippling anxiety and depression that was always there only now it's worse. It's not like everything is happily ever after once you get clean
😯I'm speechless!!! This was such an eye opener!😳
I been dealing with my own demons👿 and battles and traumatic events in my life!😈
This whole conversation has impacted my whole life!
I just happened to see this pop up in my feed!
I'm so thankful for this video! Thank you Dr. Gabor Mate'
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
One of my favorite experts! Thanks for having him on your show!
So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to follow my page and leave me a review here:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id596047499
1:13:02 I can't imagine the world without this man and I broke down in tears as the thought came to my mind!
Thank you for bringing Dr. Gabor Maté. 💜I heard his talk, When the Body Says No, and I was in awe witnessing his sincerity, and wholistic analysis of pain and humanity. So beautiful to hear him again, and what he is working on now.🙏🏻Thank you.
Thank you so much for watching! :)
Communications are a force to be record with solves so many problems
I'm crying watching this. I wish everyone peace and healing. We can overcome this. I'm battling with many issues but this is teaching me so much. Let's all try to help each other and learn from each other. Love ❤️ to everyone
Thanks for being here!
I love this guy. He’s so easy to listen to. I like his honesty in admitting his own addiction. Watching Soft White Underbelly (You should have him. Have you had him?). Mark gets to the bottom. The interviewees always have had to deal with some addiction in the adults in their lives when they were children. Sex, alcohol, drugs, nicotine, etc. Those Addictions mess up everyone you are involved with.
That would be a great interview! However Lewis generally has highly educated, intellectual experts in their fields on his show. Mark is just a photographer who asks homeless people questions.
Those addictions or those traumatic childhood experiences that everyone interviewed had?
Dr Gabor Matte is one of the most amazing being and doing an outstanding work for humanity
This dude taught me to stay next to my son since birth until the end of his childhood -
I am a Romanian, neighboring country with Hungary, proud to hear this interview in which all 3 brains resonated with everything I heard!
You will also love Alice Miller:
- The Body Never Lies
- For Your Own Good
- Prisoners of Childhood (Drama of the Gifted Child is the awful American title of this book)
This is such a beautiful conversation you two have empathy that are out there helping us all. Both of you are Empaths 🤩 this is amazing this is what we need you are teaching to highest I see it this is how we change the world
Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️
Wow! This is really “THE SCHOOL OF GREATNESS” indeed!!!👏👏
Thank you!
Not being seen for who I am and accepted of course. This has been my greatest injustice in life. This is by far my favorite. I reflected so much just being in this space. Very grateful for the content. Buying the book.
🧡
I know I am late to the game... but I think NOW was when I was able to actually hear the "thruth"s ... brilliant! So many things in this interview resonate within me and I look forward to confronting my addictions, suffering and trauma.
Such an extraordinary soul Gabor is!!! So vulnerable, humble and evolved that he can share his personal details with ease even when he'll be judged by some
I totally love Gabor Mate.. He has such courage, such insight, such compassion, phenomenal eloquence. He makes it so easy to understand why we are indeed in a very sick and dysfunctional society. I didn't know the depth of my own trauma until I started reading his works a few years ago.. This would have stopped years of trying to understand why I was also in a state of grief.. I am now 70 years of age and am still working through it.. He is a remarkable man.
This is really inspiring, I agree fully with this advice, from my own experience. I got the idea that this is a family who has done their work to evolve out of the errors we all grew up with. One thing I struggled with in life was even though I have learned, and was able to practice, and improve so many things and feel better myself, I couldnt get my family to do the same. So I became this Island watching everyone else choose not to do the work to become a healthy family. And now I see the negative effect on the children that could have been completely avoided but werent.
Two beautiful men. Oh my, II pray their tribe increases. So much wisdom here.
🧡
You've hit the spot Lewis and your wonderful guest. Thank you both so much
You're welcome🧡
Dr Gabor speaks truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Tell the whole world. This man's message needs to go viral. PEACE ☮✌.