FUNNIEST Animal Jokes | Stand-Up Compilation
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- Опубліковано 4 жов 2024
- Jim Gaffigan's best animal jokes from his last stand up specials! PALE TOURIST is NOW streaming on Amazon Prime. Check out Canadian American and Spanish American by clicking here bit.ly/JGPaleT...
:42 - "Pigs & Lobsters"
1:23 - "I Love Animals"
1:49 - "Horse Police"
2:43 - "Bears and Wild Animals"
4:08 - "Pigs"
4:52 - "Turkeys"
5:15 - "The Human Animal"
6:49 - "Cows"
8:50 - "Chickens"
9:35 - "Dog In a Bag"
10:30 - "Cats"
11:16 - "Dolphins are Mammals
12:02 - "Saw a Bear"
16:05 - "Safari"
18:03 - "Horses"
28:34 - "Moose"
30:36 - "Bulls"
33:08 - "Rodeo"
36:57 - "Zoo"
37:55 - "Sheep, Cows & Chicken"
THE PALE TOURIST
Asian American (Full Set)- bit.ly/JGAsian...
Florida Man (Full Set)- bit.ly/JGFlori...
Run with Bulls bit.ly/JGRunwi...
Ontario vs Quebec bit.ly/JGOntario
Spanish Superstitions bit.ly/JGSuper...
Canadian Map bit.ly/JGCanad...
Tapas bit.ly/JGTapas
Moose bit.ly/JGMoose
Tourists bit.ly/JGTourist
Halifax Donair bit.ly/JGDonair
Rodeo bit.ly/JGRodeo
Drake Story bit.ly/JGDrake
QUALITY TIME
Marathons bit.ly/JGMarat...
Horses bit.ly/JGHorses
Appendix bit.ly/JGAppendix
Museums bit.ly/JGMuseum
Lying bit.ly/JGLying
Dog Birthdays bit.ly/JGDogBi...
Cold Weather bit.ly/JGColdW...
NOBLE APE:
Japan vs China bit.ly/JGJapan
My Wife's Brain Tumor bit.ly/JGBrain...
Massages & Saunas bit.ly/JGMassage
Pope bit.ly/JGPope
My Least Favorite Doctor bit.ly/JGWorst...
UK vs US bit.ly/JGUSAvC...
CINCO
Morning Person bit.ly/JGMorning
Fish are Gross bit.ly/JGFishG...
Idiot Abroad bit.ly/JGIdiot...
Easier to be a Guy bit.ly/JGBeaGuy
Big Family bit.ly/JGBigFa...
OBSESSED
Bars: bit.ly/JGBars
Weddings bit.ly/JGWeddi...
Victoria's Secret bit.ly/JGSecret
Seafood bit.ly/JGSeafood
Donuts bit.ly/JGDonuts
Bath vs Shower bit.ly/JGBathv...
Can't Stop Eating bit.ly/JGstope...
MR. UNIVERSE
Vitamins bit.ly/JGVitamins
Whales bit.ly/JGWhales
Fitness Goals bit.ly/JGFitne...
Home Birth bit.ly/JGHomeb...
McDonald's bit.ly/JGMcDon...
Big Family bit.ly/3a6HW0L
Disney bit.ly/JGDisney
KING BABY
Jesus & Apostles bit.ly/JGJesus
Camping bit.ly/JGCamping
Bacon bit.ly/JGBacon
Fried Chicken bit.ly/JGFrien...
Waffle House bit.ly/JGWaffl...
BEYOND THE PALE
Hot Pockets bit.ly/JGHotPo...
I'm Korean bit.ly/JGKorean
Doing Nothing bit.ly/JGDoing...
Out To Dinner bit.ly/JGOutTo...
Cake bit.ly/JGCakes
Jesus bit.ly/JGJesus...
Vegetarian bit.ly/JGVeget...
SUPER OLD
Manatee bit.ly/JGManatee
Caroline's Comedy Hr bit.ly/JGCarol...
Glasses bit.ly/JGGLasses
MERCH Proceeds donated to ThelmagineSociety.org tinyurl.com/y5...
LETS GET COOKIN' World’s Favorite Quarantine Cooking Show
Toast bit.ly/JGToast
Burger bit.ly/JGBurger
Pork bit.ly/JGPork
Hotdog & Eggs bit.ly/JGHotDogs
Chicken Fillet bit.ly/JGChick...
KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKansa...
Bacon Wrapped Steaks bit.ly/JGBacon...
THE MIKE & PAT SHOW: (the next Pewdiepie or Roblox addicts challenge)
Daddy Dog bit.ly/JGDaddyDog
Hot Pocket bit.ly/JGMPHot...
Twinkies bit.ly/JGTwinkies
Fluff bit.ly/JGFluff
Vegemite bit.ly/JGVegimite
MY KIDS REACT
My Kids React my 1st Stand Up TV Spot • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
My Kids React my 1st Stand Up Special • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
DINNER WITH THE GAFFIGANS nightly 6pm E. Watch past episodes click JOIN & become MEMBER. Fee (99 cents) donated to TheImagineSociety.org.
JIM EATS THE WORLD (mukbang asmr local food)
St.Louis Pizza bit.ly/JimEats...
KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKCBBQ
Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarba...
Polish Boy bit.ly/JGPolis...
Spain bit.ly/JGSpain...
Colombia bit.ly/JGColombia
Paella bit.ly/JGPaella
PALE FORCE w/ Conan O'brien - • "Pale Force" - Jim Ga...
CORONAVIRUS LIFE (Try not to laugh+ CBS SUNDAY)
Welcome to Quarantine • “Greetings from Quaran...
My Kids Ask Covid-19 • "MY KIDS ASK: About CO...
Pandemic CBS Sunday Morning Mega Compilation • Jim Gaffigan CBS Sunda...
TEXT JIM 646-980-6600
Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 3 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles. - Розваги
Jim Gaffigan's voice intonations and impersonations along with humor make him unique. He doesn't have to use foul language or disgusting material, He's just funny with regular everyday life things which makes him a breath of fresh air... You literally make me laugh everyday.
His early stuff where he does use foul language is priceless
I'm pretty sure I owe Jim a check. This guy has literally been my therapist for the past few years. Thanks man
Oo9okoooo
Oh, yes. I understand. He's been my therapy for years.
Lol
Same❤
Really!
Bad day at work, fight with wife, stress from life.....watch jim gaffigan and it all goes away. Thanks jim for all these years of your amazing stories and comedy.
Went to Egypt alone all the old men there said it's so much more peaceful by yourself ( in perfect English) and I was like ya it is.
Mr. Gaffigan, you are a gift to the world. No joke. Your humor is so needed during these times. Since I have ditched the news for your comedy, my world is a better place.
Well said.... AMEN.....!!!!
That's totally awesome. 😊
Excellent advice ❤
My fav comedian. I can listen to his jokes over and over and still crack up like it's the first time
My husband doesn't understand the whispered asides. I love them.
They’re the BEST!
100 % outstanding 👏
Good for you for putting up with him hahahah 🤣
@@joeyseeds2039 38 years. 4 kids, etc... You learn to put up with a lot!
So in his lack of understanding he becomes an aside. “What’s with this guy talking so funny?” 👍
Jim's delivery is comic virtuoso genius. What a performer. No one says it funny like Gaffigan.
I totally agree 👍🏻
He is a complete master of his craft and has such great control of the crowd. He worked really hard to get to the level of confidence he has on stage now
Jim and Brian Regan! Awesome comics!!❤❤
My 12 year old daughter just started watching your Netflix specials, and she thinks you're hilarious!! I'm glad you keep it clean so we can enjoy them together!!! Thanks!
I've heard him use profanity.... Ex: he joked about eating a chicken sandwich..... So he didn't feel bad about doing it - he thought about the chicken being a criminal.
He said, "Hmmm, I think this BasTar*... stole my car".
I was a bit shocked to him use the word BasTar*...
I mean he had such a good record with Always strictly clean jokes.
I wouldn't say he is completely clean. He is funny though.
@@franwyatt4447 The point is he is MUCH cleaner than the majority of standup comedians, and I really appreciate it. The word "bastard" might even be heard on regualar network t.v. stations, though man other curse words would not be. So, it is considered mild, and most children have heard it.
I love Jim Gaffigan. He is so hilarious. The horse bit is one of my absolute favorites.
Horse bit... surprised that after a year, no one has commented on that pun !!
@@onedaya_martian1238 and it was completely unintentional 🤣
How about the bear walking toward them and they backing up? Very funny and Victoria Secret Store ? Lol
@@iancbinns1 qq
“It’s a branch, put down the gun!” 😂😂😂😂
Jim is the funniest guy, ever ! I love the way he tells stories..
the bear story is one of the best things ive ever heard, makes me crack up every single time.
Yes, and the best thing is that it is a TRUE STORY, - except there was no bear. LOL
14:22 "I probably looked like a giant land salmon."🤣
You are making us smile and forget the worries of life. Bless you.
Golly tell me about it.
Jim is a Comic Genius
You are one of the best, if not the best comedian around.
He's the best 👌
We’re waiting to get an evacuation notice and these Gaffigan videos are the only thing helping me keep my shit together. THANKS JIM!!!
You served us a huge feast of humor..well done...loved it!
maybe a trough of humor??????
I love when he beats a joke to death. And the next one is funnier than the last. And the 3rd person voice, is he really gonna tell another horse joke...cry every time.
Would you say he's "beating a dead horse"?
@@kitfisto1827 An absolute master of beating a dead horse. It's amazing watching him push the premise well past the breaking point, and manage to make the breaking even funnier than the original premise.
@@kitfisto1827 sadohipponecrophlia?
Please PLEASE just an ENTIRE hour long special of horse jokes. I would pay so much money to watch that.
Let's be honest here. You would wait until it was on YT so you could watch it for free.
Jim Gaffigan helps me to have more laughter in my life. Thank you Jim!
You were really beating a dead horse there for a while. That was epic!
As a nurse who has to venture out every day I so appreciate you Jim. 💕
God bless you!!
Thank you
You are heroic
Jim I struggle with chronic pain &watching you perform helps me laugh & lighten my day a little. Thank you for posting your compilations, hilarious! I loved the horse section, belly laughs! 💙🤣💙🤣💙🤣
👍
P
Not loved 💚👍😘
I can relate with you and chronic pain! Laughter helps.😍
"a giant land salmon"! Lol 😆
This guy is so funny he should be a comedian......
I saw him at a casino (Pechanga) in 2006, I thought the same thing after his set :P
Great idea...😁
Matt Gibbs you watched him exercise at a casino?
And now we know that you shouldn't
Love when he says, " I can tell that your annoyed by all the horse jokes and I want you to know that your annoyance..... gives me pleasure.", 😄
Ponies!!!
@@alysononoahu8702 haha 😄
He actually said “I can tell you’re annoyed…”
bestest clean comedian ever award goes to The Gaffigan . kudos
Also Tim Hawkins.
So tru tho
Actually that is Bill Cosby but we know why he is in prison.
@@froggy2632 Cause he is a sicko! 🧠💀🤡
@Gabriel or John pinnette and a few more
I've been liking Gaffigan since his Comedy Central Presents special. He's only gotten better.
I Second That!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
I know right?
This isn't Philip Seymour Hoffman?
😂 If we ever recover from this pandemic, and Jim Gaffigan gets back to stand up, I’m totally going to a show!
Definitely!! Me too. 😆
I'd like to include Jim in my will. Unfortunately he could not appreciate beyond the gesture.
Same! I could watch him for days on end and never get bored! 99/10 comedian
@@kevinmunger1842 12:44am
Middle of the afternoon, should be beating the crap outta myself out in the yard, but no, laughter first! Thank you Jim for much joy!
"What the hell ya doin with my shoes?!"😂😂
You and your wife are the best!!!! Thanks for the smiles 😊😂🤣
I'm sitting here by myself during the pandemic laughing out loud. Thanks so much🤗
At the beginning of the pandemic you said you would post a video every day. You have kept your word. Thank you!
He has! No politician ever has.
He definitely has!! How refreshing. He’s the funniest guy ever!!!!
He made me smile on a bad day. Thank you Jim.
I dont’t how long he can keep this up though. I think he (and virtually nobody) though this pandemic would go on for as long as it has and still go.
But fair play to him, he kept his word even though many jokes are getting repetitive
Enjoyed your video ! Lots of laughs
and just like that, Jim has decided what I'm doing for the next 40 min
Facts
Hard fact for me. 😆👍
Hahaha! Exactly!
Y E S !
I haven't Thought of Children, for nearly an hour.
Jim, those horse jokes were some of the funniest ever. I was roaring. I even saw you do them live before and I guess I forgot. Fantastic. More horse jokes!!!
THIS is why i love youtube! It allows us to discover hidden gems we didn't know were there! Jim you are one of the funniest comedians I've heard in my almost 50 years 👍👍
Haven’t listened to Jim in a long time…after hearing this I’m reminded of why I love his comedy so much -thank you!
Thank you for sharing your talent with us Jim! God continue to bless you brother! 👊🏼
"Hey, you wanna ride a horse?" "Sure, what part?!" HaHa!!!!
Jim you’re too funny! I always love the heckler voice. Thanks for the many laughs. Wiping tears.
Jim, Thank you for sharing with us. I also enjoy watching your 👪.
Thanks 👍
😂 Plot twist .. your watching from the bushes outside Jim's house 😎
That sounds like a joke Jim can make in the future about people watching, human safari lol
It is such a joy to watch you. Thank you for your videos.
"WHERE ARE MY EGGS?!"
Hilarious bit, but I am sad for that fictitious chicken
I love how you adjusted your audience voice for the particular crowd you were performing to lol
imagine how many chickens would be running around if we all stopped eating eggs.
Hysterical
Aloha Jim! Much mahalos for posting everyday🤙🏽it's nice to have something to laugh about
I confess I've stood inside a Red Lobster and said, "Free Harvey!!"
How to describe Jim's animal comedy in one word? ALLURING...
Your whale voice is the BEST!!!!!!
I like the horse voice in the bar
He is so funny. His jokes are great and his delivery is just as good, or even better. Thank you!
I hadn’t heard the bread loaf in the dead animal bit 😂
I love that you're posting so many videos! You make me laugh a lot. I totally dig your style, and appreciate you posting your stuff. You're a great dude, thank you so much
Jim Gaffigan is hands down the greatest to me. I know that because I'm Black I'm supposedly obligated to say Richard Pryor or something, but NO other comedian can talk about Hot Pockets for 10 minutes and have on LMAO mode the entire time.
Yea I’m black too n he definitely one of my favorites
"That polar bear really let himself go." LMAO
One of the reasons I love Jim is because he doesn't have to be vulgar to be funny. Don't get me wrong, I love adult humor; but it's a nice change of pace to hear jokes that aren't about sex and genitals.
I've always loved his humor until a while back he said something political and I was just so put off by it that I stopped looking for his stuff for a long time and I've just now started watching some again.
My all time favorite person! He helped me so much and has been my therapist! I have listened to you since I was 9 and I am 12 now and so much happier than I was.
Pls reply Jim Gaffigan! I will be the happiest person ever!
You have the brain of a genius. Your humor is second to none. You helped keep me sane during COVID and Trump years. Thank you so very much for your wit and your kindness in your funny stories.
Shove a loaf of bread up there, umm delicious! 😂😂😂
My favourite joke too
Sir no matter how many times I hear your material I laugh just as hard! Thank you for craftsmanship and work!
Every night I watch you for awhile and you crack me up. And we really need it these days. Thank you
Thanks Jim, and thanks to your family for the "dinner shows"..your kids are saints.
40 straight minutes of laughing. I actually need a break from comedy now cause my stomach hurts
Since I discovered your YT channel I’ve been watching your videos whenever I get a chance throughout the day. I heard the horse jokes so many times but I still giggle whenever I hear it. You, sir, are seriously genuinely funny and genius. Thank you for making us laugh in this difficult time.
Thank you Jim Gaffigan for keeping us laughing during this pandemic!
My favorite is the uproariously funny horse jokes...I would watch them all even if it goes for hours. 🤣🤣🤣 Although the way Jim mimicking the way cats lick their butts is also hilarious, LOL. 🤣🤣🤣
Jim, you are a treasure. You make my kids and me laugh out loud -- and what a pleasure that I don't have to worry that you will say something that will leave them, or me, feeling embarrassed. Thank you.
Love it man, perfect comedian to watch after a tough day. Thanks for the much needed laughs🤘🤘
Jim, I’ve been watching your comedy for a long time. I just want to finally say THANK YOU SO MUCH for doing what you do. You’ve been there for me when I really needed lifting! You’re an exceptionally pale Angel!
This compilation sure could use a few horse jokes.
How do you only have 79 likes?!?!
A few more horse jokes.
Is the laughing isnt enuff for you
Doctor to maga Covid patient:
"Why the long face?"
"I took Ivermectin like an idiot."
"Fair enough."
@@Dillinger86 thank you!!!! Finally, another understands what ivermectin is ACTUALLY used for
OK, my ribs hurt from laughing and I'm only halfway through.
I find myself talking like Jim Gaffigan when I'm trying to be funny at home . He is my comedy spirit animal. 😁
*Hilarious!
His timing is impeccable!
Thanks for the much needed laughs!
Can I carry around a canned ham? Lol 😅😆!!
This man is the only entertaining comedian I can think of who is hilarious and family friendly. I can watch alone or with my daughter.
I love when these have jokes I haven't heard from you before :) I was laughing a lot, it's even seemingly better at 5am after pulling an all nighter haha my neighbors are probably like what is she doing laughing hysterically for 30 minutes straight at 5am lol hopefully I'm not being too loud haha
Good clean funny funny funny! Thank you guy who looks like Philip S. Hoffman ....rest his sweet soul...gotta find your dog joke collection
I was laughing so hard, I got a little hoarse. 🤣
There has been one therapy pony on a plane. At least once. Look it up! It’s so cute and strange.
In an emergency landing can you jump on it and gallop to safety?
@@marccolten9801haha. I wish! It was a really small pony. So I think it would only be able to hold toddlers or small kids.
Except in an accident that therapy horse would have taken out people who never needed therapy.
“I know I’ll get tweets... and those are the people I block.” 🤣
I watch programs over and over and over.
When I have a sad day I watch one of your programs I feel like the best.
Please keep doing what you're doing you're helping a lot of people during this rough time.
You have a beautiful family.
You never disappoint! Your humor always makes me laugh!
Jim making a UA-cam channel is the best thing that happened to UA-cam. Wish more comedians would do this
Wow, you are one hard working comedian, and I have to compliment you on adapting and rolling with the pandemic's punches. Also thank you for years of laughs! I'm quite sure it improves my health! I probably have you to thank for a few extra years. You're one of my favorite comedians and I'm almost as obsessed by comedians as other comedians. :)
Your new comedy was SO good I know you’re still on the tour but my family stopped breathing we where laughing so hard!Thank You for EVERYTHING ❤
Thank you for putting this together. I'm a huge fan. My whole family is
The high heels on the horses have me rolling 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thank You for the best comedy 💝
Wild Stuff Jim
Love your work!
One of the best ever for sure. He's been around for decades, and is always so much fun and such a nice guy . He doesn't need to be crude or insult people. Out of literally thousands of comedians if I had to pick the top five he is definitely in the top five.
Hey Jim, thank you for all you do.
Your comedy is clever and amazing... you bring happiness and smiles during this goofy time...
And you are a great family man.
Thanks Jim , couldn’t stop laughing , his delivery is amazing and l am so grateful , for your talent, it’s been a crazy year , lm thrilled!!🥟🍡🍩🍣🍭🌰😂❤Karen in Victoria BC.
"You do stand up comedy? I could never do that.... that terrrrrifies me" gets up on the bull.
I have 1 million and one things I should be doing, but I can’t stop watching Jim Gaffigan videos. He’s so damn delightful!!!!🤣🤣🤣
Jim, thanks for being funny through the plague. You keep on keeping my spirits up. That's enough horse jokes, though.
Loved the 🐴jokes best!😂🤣thankyou for sharing your gift🥰🥰❤️❤️
Only Gaffigan can get us to sit through 80 commercials.
Thank goodness for skip ads then!!😁👍🤣
UA-cam premium.
"who's Roger ?"... xD
💓Funniest Man on EARTH!! 😝
only found this guy last week. gotta love a comedy binge. thanks Mr G.
I like the joke trasitions imitating an audience...kinda his thing
Taking our job as an audience. And we pay him to do it.
Jim, you are a genius. I can tell, because I watch and listen to the same stuff over and over... BTW, I have 7 cats and 4 dogs... Oh well.
Can’t thank you enough for all that you post for all of us Jim. It’s really helped especially with this situation we all seem to be sharing. Can’t wait until this hopefully passes in the next several months. Please make sure to come and see us crazy bastards here in good old Texas (Austin) when you can. Thanks again!
Thank you for making us laugh every day with new videos, you are making a difference in these crazy depressing times. I bought a new car in 17 and keep sxm just to hear your jokes. Nothing better than laughing till I cry while in traffic! Seriously Jim, you are a GEM!
This of course will be fun!! I enjoyed seeing you on the Kelly Clarkson show. You and your zucchini sidekick were great! Thanks for bringing joy wherever you go.
I bet Dave Chappelle watches Jim Gaffigan when he wants to unwind.
Chappelle is Great, Dave unwinds by watching the news. 🤣
Hahaha
Opoo ooooooooooooooooooooo
Put your hands together, my friend....with a side of Tem Segura.
That would be like when your mom made pb&js for you in 1987 but then added bananas and chocolate one day for no reason... Then. Your head explodes. Then 30 years later, you think, "That was waaaaaay better than Iraq or the Holocaust." I should look into nursing homes. This bitch is turning into Skeletor or that sorcerer from the Smurfs...." Jim can also give me cash for this joke...no credit...!!...