I'm writing this for everyone who needs to hear it. I have been with my husband for 9 years. I am 30 and we have 2 kids together. He is a complete narcissist and I was stuck in a cycle of abuse for years. I am finally getting my divorce and will be free of this man. Free to raise my children and be me. I have forgotten who I am and I never thought I would be able to live without him. There is hope ladies! You can do it!
Sisters, I'm not saying live like this forever and stay dispite the abuse. These are things to try until you make your next move but if you decide never to leave him, the truth is that the damage will continue so at some point you will get fed up so the sooner you make a decision that best suits you and your children, the better. FOR THOSE IN DOUBT OF LEAVING trust me, the grass is greener on the other side, leaving him will give you a freedom you never knew is possible so if it gets overwhelming or you experience the 3 things I mentioned towards the end of the video; plan your exit strategy and move on with your life. May Allah make it easy for you. THOSE WHO ARE OUT: Don't judge other women for staying, the burden of what they are going through is tough enough. Rather, give them some positive encouragement to realise this is toxic and not to tolerate abuse, with that, they will harness the courage to do the right thing. But ultimately it is their decision to make and not ours.
You can’t manage a narcissist in a relationship. The longer you stay, the worse the abuse will get. Get out and stay out. Permanent “no contact” is the only tool that will protect you. If you have children with one, God help you.
They will never change,it gets a thousand times worse because they know they are getting away with it.I'm getting out abus ed physically and emotionally for 26 yrs everyday just had enough, going to love and respect ❤💯myself. 19:03
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My grandpa is a narc. Grandparents have been married for 50 years! Just so you know, it never gets easier. If you can, please leave and don't compromise your joy for the sake of: _what will others think._ Allah has given you the freewill to lead a prosperous life 🙏
I agree, my step father is a narcissist and abused us a lot and my mother let him because apparently we deserved it. Was a really dark part of our lives, he literally destroyed our family.
@@InshasChoice a lot better by gods grace, I got married and moved out but she would still call me and shout, manipulate me, expect me to please her husband. I tried to please her for years but I was never good enough, now I don’t care because I realise she’s the problem, not me.
To repeat, this is only if you CAN'T leave *right now*. Otherwise, please realize how damaging it is psychologically for you and your children affecting their future. Upbringing is a HEAVY responsibility and every little affects you when growing up. Children and YOU need a safe place. This goes for men stuck with a narcissistic wife.
Thank you Sister ☺️ Your advise is very useful ... I just realized that I am married to a narcissistic husband, after 30 years of marriage. I had been wondering why he is so difficult to talk with. During my 30 yrs with him, there's never an instance of a good conversation with him, and he valued other people's remarks than ours. The only thing that keeps me sane is my strong relationship with God. With the gift of vision God given me, He gave me warnings ahead of time and I can react appropriately. God had always been providing for me & my kids thru my work. God is so good, He never forsake those that are bound to narcissistic people.
My father was an angel 😇 he was adorable. People loved him. My marriage was arranged years ago. My husband is a narcissist. We have two children and it’s going to be 30 years living with him this December. I pray 5 times a day and ask Allah for patience and Allah granted me so much patience and courage to go through this marriage with strength. I’m not able to feel a thing he does. I just never answer him back and feel sorry for him that he is so full of toxicity.
@@medixperia1599 he didn’t stop by the summary of her comment I get the impression she is tolerating it and using tools not to give him more ammunition to explode into huge arguments
@@medixperia1599narcissists never stop. When you grey rock them (answering or speaking curtly and not reacting strongly to anything they do or say), they will try their hardest to get a reaction out of you. They purposely do things that they know makes you hurt or angry so that you lash out and they can point fingers and call you the crazy one while also escalating the violence.
I find that most women, myself included, tend to put our husbands on pedestals instead of making Allah number one and having a really close relationship with Allah. I struggle with this so much and don’t know where to start. Could you make a video on that please? This video was so insightful and I am so great for this topic being talked about with a Muslim perspective since most videos on narcissism are don’t by non-Muslims. Jazak Allahu Khayr ❤️
🚫 *BEWARE OF THESE "ISLAMIC" UA-camRS. MANY OF THEM ARE UNDERCOVER MUNAFIQS HIRED TO LURE IN THE MUSLIM YOUTH AND SPREAD MISGUIDANCE IN THEIR VIDEOS IN BETWEEN THE CORRECT THINGS THEY SAY. BE WARNED* 🚫🚫
so true babe thats why we must love our husbands only for the sake of Allah ( i am working on it lol ) so Allahs position in our hearts and minds is always always number 1.. in sha Allah, may Allah make is easy for all of us, Amin
Miriam S sister, I am just now seeing your reply 🤦🏻♀️ yes, I am working on it. Alhamdulillah for everything. Even “bad” can turn out to be good because then, you see the reality and get rid of expectations that just will not be. My mindset has definitely changed recently Alhamdulillah. May Allah make it easy for every woman dealing with a narcissistic husband 💖🌷
I was with a man who said he was Muslim for 13 years. 2 children. I’m English, he was Kurdish. He abused me the whole time we were together. Physically and psychologically, the lot. He eventually started taking the drug cocaine. He abandoned us and continued to abuse me by message and in the street. I am now free of the abuse. I tried so hard to fix him, but he never wanted help. I hope one day he gets his punishment for all the hurt and pain he inflicted on me.
When I came to the point of praying against good things( i.e not having children) I knew I had to leave. Because I want good for me and trying to sumon good in a toxic place was just something Allah swt was not doing for me. I asked for healthy, righteous kids but I didn’t realize staying with that person meant my blessings were being blocked
Thank you, Sister...some of us have accepted that some spouses are an Amana, and some spouses are just tests. Approaching it with the mindset that "this person is only my test, and we all must be tested, sabr is really all that is required", has been very helpful while seeking refuge in Allah at all times. Not everyone is built to withstand it, and that's okay, too. Allah will never puts on a soul more than it can handle, although people do all the time. 🤭 Eyes on the prize (Jannah), in the end, you win.
Thank you Nafisa for sharing this. It was beautifully put together. My husband has many narcissistic characteristics and uses religion to support many things. It’s gets very difficult to manage to cope with him. I am asking Allah for help, in making him understand how his actions is harmful to me and mentally draining me already.
May Allah guide your husband and guide us all, one, to purify the heart and 2, to stand up for what's right. Its just a test in character for both to be the balance our rasool saw taught us to be
You just spoke to me I am currently married to a narcissist. he blames me for everything the sad part is that I have 3girls and I don't want them to suffer. may Allah help make make the right decision. it's draining
My daughter is 9. She said to me "mummy we are in a loop with daddy" I was trying to make it work for the sake of my children until I've realised how it's affected her. I'm no contact at the moment. Dealing with the emotional change. Then I want to make a decision of khulla.
I went to Omraa and prayed at the Kaaba. Allah to find me a way to leave him. I did. I lost all my wealth after because my mental state suffered. My children helped me to get out.
May Allah swt protect us from such men. I am hoping to settle down with someone soon and I want to make sure he is of good character. But sadly sometimes you don't know until it's too late. Nafisa could you maybe do a series on vetting a man for marriage like what questions to ask and what to look for
Doing the things mentioned around 16:00 will kill a person's soul after a while. I only recommend it for short periods of time, for example til you can gather what you need to leave that person etc
I agree and even if you do this actions described still they will not be happy, in fact they will after a while get bored and try to break down little fights by constantly hurting you but this time by going deeper for example putting salt on your profound wounds.
It really, very seriously murders your soul to do this. I’ve been doing this for 9 years and I’m so, so tired and depressed. Add in 3 very young kids to the mix and I’m so tired of this life. I’ve tried so many times to get a divorce but I’m gaslit into going back every time by surrounding family members.
Narcissists can never be respectful their parents or you can say mother is the main spoiler who has not addressed the issues early and taught them good values
JazakAllah khair. This is one of the best talks on this topic that I have come across. Most brothers just talk about divorce these days without considering the other options first. The trouble is, our society is so full of narcissistic men that if we don't consider the reconciliation option, divorces will be rampant, which is not healthy for the society either. May Allah guide us all.
The saddest part is knowing he most likely will not change except if Allah wills. This alone is really painful for many sisters but a reality that needs to be addressed so that she can make a clear decision for what is best for herself and her children.
There are several reasons why a woman can’t leave a narcissistic marriage….the most biggest reason is the kids . Either they don’t feel they will financially able to provide for them OR/AND they don’t want the children to suffer from a divorce and broken family….
@@Sanakhan-gd1sxWell sister, i don't know who is telling you that things work like that in Islamic world. That's totally wrong. Muslim men are not like that. Narcissism is a personality disorder and has nothing to do with Religion.
@@mahamarshad1596You should tell that to the raging narcissistic men then. These ‘religious’ narcissists are the worst bc they will twist Islam into something that benefits them only. There are plenty of narcissistic women of course, but men are the ones who hold power.
This was explained so well...u just put my life into words ....cant beleive we married to narcisist husbands go through exactly same things...what i am gping to take from this is that...Allah will reward me for my saber....thats all i can do in my situation...cant walk out due to kids...working on strengthening my relationship with Allah...and just pray to Allah to change him.....u have no idea how much u helped me today...u sothed my soul...thank u nafissa ....may Allah give u more wishdom to help more people and inshallah reward u for all that u do.....Ameen.
We DEFINITELY need Brothers to mentor this generation of Muslim men and the next!!! Kudos Very very well said nafisah 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 sisters need to feel safe at the hands of Muslim men, we’re tired of being played, abused and degraded SubhanAllah. Khayr in sha Allah, BarakAllahu feeki my sist♥️♥️♥️
Nobody can be able to mentor a narcissistic person, the best is to mentor whoever is involved with them so that they can be equipped with right decisions.
alhamdulillah almost 30 yrs of marriage! when i learn more about my deen, i can accept my husband's flaws. Allah permits my husband to be that way so it means that it is all for the best. i remind myself to focus only on his good sides. i always pray for him n our children. he performs his 5-daily solah n hopefully one day he will change to be better, insya Allah. قدر الله وما شآء فعل😊
While I’m glad to read that you’re doing okay, Allah SWT doesn’t permit anybody to behave like a narcissist does even if they have NPD. There is treatment for it AND the person who has it can heal himself spiritually if he keeps praying to Allah SWT and striving to be better. Narcissists deep down know they are awful people, they just won’t admit it out loud.
Jazakallah khairan sister for sharing this knowledge after 13 years of mental torture just this month I got to know about narcissistic personality now seeing your videos give me some kind of strength to handle him in future in sha Allah I can't get out of the situation due to financial issues family issues no support from any side so i have no pathway to step out also my daughter's future flashes in my eyes i hope this tips may help me in my relationship Allah reward you for ur kindness Allah make it easy for everyone in sha Allah
It is insane to hear this and sad we need it but this sis is sharing valuable information for sisters mental health when it comes to navigating relationships with these types of men. May Allah grant our sisters ease and raise the upcoming boys to be mentally healthy men and serve the rights of their wives ameen!!!
From my understanding, a narcisist is someone that became broken in toddlerhood because their emotional needs were not met. There is no cure. Because of that, they have created a fake , very attractive and very charming persona. If we grow up with this type of parent, we have learned to be vigilant and extra careful, so we are attracted to this type of person. We need to do our own work, because even if we leave, we will be attracted to the same type of person.
Plz listey to your instincts,it never misguide you in this situation n than rely on Allah SWT.... U will in SHAA ALLAH find the way out from a close door ....trust him he is only a trustworthy.....stay blessed 😇 always
Salam sis, I am a new subscriber, MashaAllah so interesting, I got a divorce form my ex almost 2 years, we have a daughter, she will be two years next month InshaAllah, it was the best decision ever to move out of the marriage, he got all these symptoms you mentioned, it was very hard even after our divorce, because he tried to mixed me up with family, friends etc am still praying to Allah to heal me from the trauma. The only thing left for him is to try to use our daughter to gain power but my boundaries are already set....... May Allah guide us all.
Walaikumsalam sister. Alhamdulilah I’m so proud of you for making that move because I can’t imagine it being easy but like you said, it turned out to be the best decision for you. May Allah grant all sisters who are suffering a way out that is best for them, ameen. I wish more sisters had this courage because abuse on any level is not ok.
It's so unfortunate that it's so hard for people around us or even family members to understand this situation but Alhamdulila my family lately understood me because he went to the extend insulting, bullying, etc everyone around me. The funniest thing is that he is 43 and am 30, but very emotional immature, it's so sad, I can't say all in the comment section, please ladies put your trust in Allah he will guide you through, it's just a test, I am happily married again, four months again, Alhamdulila. My regards to everyone listening 🤲
Thank you for this video sister. Im beginning to think that my husband is a narc. Today marks our 14th yr together but I can't remember when was the last time i felt genuinely happy. He is constantly insecure of my love to him to the point that he's always on the look out of whatever fault i may do. Im unhappy but I couldn't get out because of my daughters. My youngest loves him a lot. Inshaallah in a few years, when my kids are grown ups and have their own family, i will leave this marriage. For now, sabr.
Thank you for making this video. I am not Muslim, but any person trying to live with a narcissistic partner will find this video very helpful. Very well thought out. I will take your advice to heart and it will help me stay strong for myself and my children. Thank you.
Omg. Jaza khala xer sister. Min 23. I need it. I have a degree in social work and I don't feel like I'm good enough to be one. But I need to get out there and use my degree to help the Ummah.
Words of wisdom, spoken so well about such an important topic. Looking forward to video on narcissistic mother InshAllah. May Allah grant you Afiyah and success.
Jazakullahi Khairan for this very informative video sister Nafisa. After your narcissist series can you make a video on dealing misogynistic fathers while still giving them their respect that is due to parents in Islam. Thank you in advanced
Why are my comments getting deleted? I'm trying to make the Muslim victim be aware that they use Islam to intimidate their victims But they do not act upon the faith themselves.
Thankyou so much!!! Please do make one for narcissistic inlaws. You have so beautifully described the narcissistic Muslim husband!!! And the dos and donts here... kudos!!!
It's easy to forgive and pretend to forget and move on but it's so hurtful to deal with silent treatments and humiliation in front of in laws. Jazakullah khairn for the video. It was spot on. How much your coaching sessions, by the way?
May Allah reward you for making this video.I have been at the rock bottom.Living with a narcissistic partner has taken a toll on my mental health but your advice gave me so much strength.Thank you so much.
😔🙏thk u soo much for this video. i literally feel that Allah is talking to me through you and this is my answer to my istikharah prayers. I have been married wth a Narcissist Husband, whom I dont really know much off, i always thought he has such a big ego and always wants to win and always wants to have a last say in everything. Every of ur point said in the video, is spot on! i cried at some point bcuz i never knew this craziness of a character and I am always put to blame. I just found out I am pregnant the moment when I really wanted to leave n tap out of this rlationship. he is short tempered n when he is angry he throw things shouted things get broken or hp got smashed or anything he can lay his hands on and he will twist the whole story to say it all on me. i feel honestly that i could not talk to him, like u mention they r not able to accept anything ppl said abt their character. i feel so blessed to have come across this video. i feel encouraged n feel that i am not alone for the first time. thank you Allah for bringing me here. now is d cooling period for me as i just learn im pregnant i need my peace and i am still thinking what i should do wt my husband as this will be our first child. may Allah bless you sister and may you continue to lighten the spirit of woman and man around and may your videos and dawah spreads to all those people suffering! may Allah increase you with knowlege and hidayah, 🙏
Ameen my dear sister. You are not alone unfortunately many people are also going through this. I ask Allah to keep you and your child safe until you decide on your next move. Allah loves you to have guided you to learn about narcissism so make the most of what you learn insha’Allah. Stay blessed and stay safe insha’Allah.
May things gets easier for you, i was pregnant in march when i thought i will leave now as it was his and his mother last chance. But we had a fight and he sent me to my mother with a smear campaign that she is crazy and needs treatment. Thus, i had a miscarriage due to stress and now everyday he is trying to ask me come back to home and im like i dont want to go back into that life. I am having difficulty in deciding whether to divorce him or not
Hi there sister, you are really pretty. First thing. Second thing, this happens in Christian circles too. There are lots of highly conservative Christian men who claim they have a relationship with God, but, they treat their wives with utter contempt and are highly controlling and unrepentant about this behaviour. They critize their wives constantly and say they are " just being honest". Sometimes people use religion to hide behind, rather than actually being devout.
Slm alkm sister. Thank you very much for your kind words and unparalleled wisdom and advice. Could you kindly give us a lesson on self-awareness , one on Muslim brothers and another on sisters so that we can know who we are and our responsibilities in the entire ecosystem especially family, society and whole world at large. Quite hefty and May Allah the most gracious reward you. Ameen.
Assalaam Alaikum my lovely sis Nafisa. Mashallah you always have a beautiful Noor on your face. Missed you dearly. Please dua for me and my family, thank you. Love you loads. ❤️❤️❤️
Sister I really want to Thank you for this video, you really explained things so well. I appreciate you bought this topic as a lot of people are suffering but no one really talks about it.
Asalam alaikom ❤️ Make Allah swt bless you sister , I am really crying with this coz I am so lonely I don’t have no body in Uk to speak (no friends ) i am feeling so lose coz understand my life is very hard and this video really touch me so much 😢
Wa alaikum salam . May Allah SWT give you good friends who will help you get closer to Him ameen 💖 don't worry sister, you have Allah SWT, Prophet Muhammad saw and the whole Ummah as your friends. We are here for you. I hope you are ok .🙂
I'm also going through difficult times sister. May Allah make it easy for you and for me :) Keep watching videos like these and videos that talk about Allah's mercy and help. We might be alone, but what matters is we have Allah SWT.
@@NafisasPearlz anytime my dear. May ALLAH عز و جل protect you and grants you immense reward for again taking your time to make those informative videos.
I watched this video one week before my marriage. I saw the red flags from my husband-to-be and thought I should pull out but thought maybe it’ll get better over time. It didn’t. Things worsened and the imbalance in the relationship increased. Listen to your gut. :( Ladies, if you can please involve your family or a surrogate Wali service such as Solace. Let them be the representatives of your best interest so they can convey your desires. If you have second thoughts, speak up. Be absolutely comfortable with your choice
Exactly about good men teaching boys how to be a men I also think that and wish this was a topic in mosques where imams teach young boys how to be men, I had that conversation with sisters too
Everything your saying is true I became Muslim partially because I thought it would make him happy but all it does is give him more control I'm am trying to break away from him but it's kinda scary because I don't know if he will stand by his threats
Get out as soon as you can In sha'a Allah Pretending will damage your soul beyond repair! You self esteem will be crushed and you will be miserable! Run for the hills!! So you can do YOU in peace May Allah make it easy for everyone in this situation and guide us all to good ❤ Allah is with you! Don't ever forget that!
I'm writing this for everyone who needs to hear it. I have been with my husband for 9 years. I am 30 and we have 2 kids together. He is a complete narcissist and I was stuck in a cycle of abuse for years. I am finally getting my divorce and will be free of this man. Free to raise my children and be me. I have forgotten who I am and I never thought I would be able to live without him. There is hope ladies! You can do it!
Masha'Allah sister, great encouragement and Alhamdulilah for your freedom from the abuse.
May Allah make the transition easy foy you. You can do it
When you realize the narcissists game and how your desire to rescue and empathize enables it, the only option is to shut the supply store down.
May Allah make your path easy.
These narcissist are pushing for polygamy marriages and using islam to get their narcissist supply Astaghfiullah Astaghfiullah Astaghfiullah
Sisters, I'm not saying live like this forever and stay dispite the abuse. These are things to try until you make your next move but if you decide never to leave him, the truth is that the damage will continue so at some point you will get fed up so the sooner you make a decision that best suits you and your children, the better.
FOR THOSE IN DOUBT OF LEAVING trust me, the grass is greener on the other side, leaving him will give you a freedom you never knew is possible so if it gets overwhelming or you experience the 3 things I mentioned towards the end of the video; plan your exit strategy and move on with your life. May Allah make it easy for you.
THOSE WHO ARE OUT: Don't judge other women for staying, the burden of what they are going through is tough enough. Rather, give them some positive encouragement to realise this is toxic and not to tolerate abuse, with that, they will harness the courage to do the right thing.
But ultimately it is their decision to make and not ours.
He is a brilliant wonderful father. But not husband. So I had to chose- myself or my son. And i chose my son instead of myself.
@@fahima100 then in your later year you will expect your son to choose you too, and that where is get tricky my sister.
@@seasailor2841 yes u r right but ive left everything in the hands of Allah. and i have out my trust in him thats all
@@fahima100 is he physical abusive?
@@zebusdaughter8158 used to
JazakaLlah Khayran for sharing. Very informative. Shukran. Amiin Ya Rabbi
You can’t manage a narcissist in a relationship. The longer you stay, the worse the abuse will get. Get out and stay out. Permanent “no contact” is the only tool that will protect you. If you have children with one, God help you.
They will never change,it gets a thousand times worse because they know they are getting away with it.I'm getting out abus
ed physically and emotionally for 26 yrs everyday just had enough, going to love and respect ❤💯myself. 19:03
May Allah protect us from such people and help those who have to deal with them, ameen
Ameen
Amin
🚫 *BEWARE OF THESE "ISLAMIC" UA-camRS. MANY OF THEM ARE UNDERCOVER MUNAFIQS HIRED TO LURE IN THE MUSLIM YOUTH AND SPREAD MISGUIDANCE IN THEIR VIDEOS IN BETWEEN THE CORRECT THINGS THEY SAY. BE WARNED* 🚫🚫
Ameen
My grandpa is a narc. Grandparents have been married for 50 years! Just so you know, it never gets easier. If you can, please leave and don't compromise your joy for the sake of: _what will others think._ Allah has given you the freewill to lead a prosperous life 🙏
This statement right here, Allah didn’t bring you to this dunya just so you can live a miserable life.
I agree, my step father is a narcissist and abused us a lot and my mother let him because apparently we deserved it. Was a really dark part of our lives, he literally destroyed our family.
@@Footieblox how are you doing now? It shouldn't have happened but you're much stronger because of it 💪. I'll pray for you
@@InshasChoice a lot better by gods grace, I got married and moved out but she would still call me and shout, manipulate me, expect me to please her husband. I tried to please her for years but I was never good enough, now I don’t care because I realise she’s the problem, not me.
@@InshasChoice thank you for asking x
To repeat, this is only if you CAN'T leave *right now*. Otherwise, please realize how damaging it is psychologically for you and your children affecting their future. Upbringing is a HEAVY responsibility and every little affects you when growing up. Children and YOU need a safe place. This goes for men stuck with a narcissistic wife.
Thats what your saying but this isn't the same message conveyed in this video.
@@giaa_777 it is, she said that at the start and she also liked my comment.
Thank you Sister ☺️
Your advise is very useful ... I just realized that I am married to a narcissistic husband, after 30 years of marriage. I had been wondering why he is so difficult to talk with. During my 30 yrs with him, there's never an instance of a good conversation with him, and he valued other people's remarks than ours. The only thing that keeps me sane is my strong relationship with God. With the gift of vision God given me, He gave me warnings ahead of time and I can react appropriately. God had always been providing for me & my kids thru my work. God is so good, He never forsake those that are bound to narcissistic people.
May God give you ease ameen
My father was an angel 😇 he was adorable. People loved him. My marriage was arranged years ago. My husband is a narcissist. We have two children and it’s going to be 30 years living with him this December. I pray 5 times a day and ask Allah for patience and Allah granted me so much patience and courage to go through this marriage with strength. I’m not able to feel a thing he does. I just never answer him back and feel sorry for him that he is so full of toxicity.
Wait until he start taking your rights of children .
Does it worked??? U didnt respond to his toxity did he stopped it pr not?
@@medixperia1599 he didn’t stop by the summary of her comment I get the impression she is tolerating it and using tools not to give him more ammunition to explode into huge arguments
@@medixperia1599narcissists never stop. When you grey rock them (answering or speaking curtly and not reacting strongly to anything they do or say), they will try their hardest to get a reaction out of you. They purposely do things that they know makes you hurt or angry so that you lash out and they can point fingers and call you the crazy one while also escalating the violence.
I find that most women, myself included, tend to put our husbands on pedestals instead of making Allah number one and having a really close relationship with Allah. I struggle with this so much and don’t know where to start. Could you make a video on that please? This video was so insightful and I am so great for this topic being talked about with a Muslim perspective since most videos on narcissism are don’t by non-Muslims. Jazak Allahu Khayr ❤️
🚫 *BEWARE OF THESE "ISLAMIC" UA-camRS. MANY OF THEM ARE UNDERCOVER MUNAFIQS HIRED TO LURE IN THE MUSLIM YOUTH AND SPREAD MISGUIDANCE IN THEIR VIDEOS IN BETWEEN THE CORRECT THINGS THEY SAY. BE WARNED* 🚫🚫
@@h.z6870 like whom?
so true babe thats why we must love our husbands only for the sake of Allah ( i am working on it lol ) so Allahs position in our hearts and minds is always always number 1..
in sha Allah, may Allah make is easy for all of us, Amin
Miriam S sister, I am just now seeing your reply 🤦🏻♀️ yes, I am working on it. Alhamdulillah for everything. Even “bad” can turn out to be good because then, you see the reality and get rid of expectations that just will not be. My mindset has definitely changed recently Alhamdulillah. May Allah make it easy for every woman dealing with a narcissistic husband 💖🌷
Great idea
I was with a man who said he was Muslim for 13 years. 2 children. I’m English, he was Kurdish. He abused me the whole time we were together. Physically and psychologically, the lot. He eventually started taking the drug cocaine. He abandoned us and continued to abuse me by message and in the street. I am now free of the abuse. I tried so hard to fix him, but he never wanted help. I hope one day he gets his punishment for all the hurt and pain he inflicted on me.
Amen
When I came to the point of praying against good things( i.e not having children) I knew I had to leave. Because I want good for me and trying to sumon good in a toxic place was just something Allah swt was not doing for me. I asked for healthy, righteous kids but I didn’t realize staying with that person meant my blessings were being blocked
Very well put. If God doesn’t give you children whilst with a narcissistic man, God is most likely saving you and your children from evil.
Thank you, Sister...some of us have accepted that some spouses are an Amana, and some spouses are just tests. Approaching it with the mindset that "this person is only my test, and we all must be tested, sabr is really all that is required", has been very helpful while seeking refuge in Allah at all times. Not everyone is built to withstand it, and that's okay, too. Allah will never puts on a soul more than it can handle, although people do all the time. 🤭 Eyes on the prize (Jannah), in the end, you win.
Thank you Nafisa for sharing this. It was beautifully put together. My husband has many narcissistic characteristics and uses religion to support many things. It’s gets very difficult to manage to cope with him. I am asking Allah for help, in making him understand how his actions is harmful to me and mentally draining me already.
May Allah guide your husband and guide us all, one, to purify the heart and 2, to stand up for what's right. Its just a test in character for both to be the balance our rasool saw taught us to be
You just spoke to me I am currently married to a narcissist. he blames me for everything the sad part is that I have 3girls and I don't want them to suffer. may Allah help make make the right decision. it's draining
Same here 😭
Same here
Same here
Praying Allah ﷻ makes it easy on us and grants us all patience, foresight & strength. How are you sisters coping?
My daughter is 9. She said to me "mummy we are in a loop with daddy" I was trying to make it work for the sake of my children until I've realised how it's affected her. I'm no contact at the moment. Dealing with the emotional change. Then I want to make a decision of khulla.
I went to Omraa and prayed at the Kaaba. Allah to find me a way to leave him. I did. I lost all my wealth after because my mental state suffered. My children helped me to get out.
May Allah swt protect us from such men. I am hoping to settle down with someone soon and I want to make sure he is of good character. But sadly sometimes you don't know until it's too late. Nafisa could you maybe do a series on vetting a man for marriage like what questions to ask and what to look for
Doing the things mentioned around 16:00 will kill a person's soul after a while. I only recommend it for short periods of time, for example til you can gather what you need to leave that person etc
I agree and even if you do this actions described still they will not be happy, in fact they will after a while get bored and try to break down little fights by constantly hurting you but this time by going deeper for example putting salt on your profound wounds.
It really, very seriously murders your soul to do this. I’ve been doing this for 9 years and I’m so, so tired and depressed. Add in 3 very young kids to the mix and I’m so tired of this life. I’ve tried so many times to get a divorce but I’m gaslit into going back every time by surrounding family members.
Narcissists can never be respectful their parents or you can say mother is the main spoiler who has not addressed the issues early and taught them good values
JazakAllah khair. This is one of the best talks on this topic that I have come across. Most brothers just talk about divorce these days without considering the other options first. The trouble is, our society is so full of narcissistic men that if we don't consider the reconciliation option, divorces will be rampant, which is not healthy for the society either. May Allah guide us all.
Don’t forget to send a lot of salutations to the prophet it’s Friday tomorrow in sha Allah and the recitation of Surat Al-Kahf
Just a Reminder✨
thanks for the reminder its Jummah here atm
At this point I don't see how a woman can be genuinely happy with a narcissist if she constantly has to decipher his behavior and just go with it 😰
The saddest part is knowing he most likely will not change except if Allah wills. This alone is really painful for many sisters but a reality that needs to be addressed so that she can make a clear decision for what is best for herself and her children.
@@JahannamHellfire Children will see that there's no love and only abuse, and sticking together just for the sake of the children will damage them.
Society is great at forcing sisters to stay in narcissist marriages!.
There are several reasons why a woman can’t leave a narcissistic marriage….the most biggest reason is the kids . Either they don’t feel they will financially able to provide for them OR/AND they don’t want the children to suffer from a divorce and broken family….
The illusion is the children don't suffer already
Unfortunately, kids do suffer when you stay.
Mashaa Allah finally we are talking bout narcissistic abuse husband because a lot of people don’t know what narcissistic people are
Bcoz we in islamic world is told that things are like that with men. They are allowed and this is how they supposed to be in the name of religion
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@@Sanakhan-gd1sxWell sister, i don't know who is telling you that things work like that in Islamic world. That's totally wrong. Muslim men are not like that. Narcissism is a personality disorder and has nothing to do with Religion.
@@mahamarshad1596You should tell that to the raging narcissistic men then. These ‘religious’ narcissists are the worst bc they will twist Islam into something that benefits them only. There are plenty of narcissistic women of course, but men are the ones who hold power.
This was explained so well...u just put my life into words ....cant beleive we married to narcisist husbands go through exactly same things...what i am gping to take from this is that...Allah will reward me for my saber....thats all i can do in my situation...cant walk out due to kids...working on strengthening my relationship with Allah...and just pray to Allah to change him.....u have no idea how much u helped me today...u sothed my soul...thank u nafissa ....may Allah give u more wishdom to help more people and inshallah reward u for all that u do.....Ameen.
We DEFINITELY need Brothers to mentor this generation of Muslim men and the next!!! Kudos Very very well said nafisah 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 sisters need to feel safe at the hands of Muslim men, we’re tired of being played, abused and degraded SubhanAllah.
Khayr in sha Allah, BarakAllahu feeki my sist♥️♥️♥️
Nobody can be able to mentor a narcissistic person, the best is to mentor whoever is involved with them so that they can be equipped with right decisions.
alhamdulillah almost 30 yrs of marriage! when i learn more about my deen, i can accept my husband's flaws. Allah permits my husband to be that way so it means that it is all for the best. i remind myself to focus only on his good sides. i always pray for him n our children. he performs his 5-daily solah n hopefully one day he will change to be better, insya Allah.
قدر الله وما شآء فعل😊
Sorry, may i ask you sister what do you mean by "Allah permits my husband to be that way"?
While I’m glad to read that you’re doing okay, Allah SWT doesn’t permit anybody to behave like a narcissist does even if they have NPD. There is treatment for it AND the person who has it can heal himself spiritually if he keeps praying to Allah SWT and striving to be better. Narcissists deep down know they are awful people, they just won’t admit it out loud.
Jazakallah khairan sister for sharing this knowledge after 13 years of mental torture just this month I got to know about narcissistic personality
now seeing your videos give me some kind of strength to handle him in future in sha Allah
I can't get out of the situation due to financial issues family issues no support from any side so i have no pathway to step out also my daughter's future flashes in my eyes i hope this tips may help me in my relationship Allah reward you for ur kindness Allah make it easy for everyone in sha Allah
It is insane to hear this and sad we need it but this sis is sharing valuable information for sisters mental health when it comes to navigating relationships with these types of men. May Allah grant our sisters ease and raise the upcoming boys to be mentally healthy men and serve the rights of their wives ameen!!!
Masha ALLAAH
My friend is stuck in such a relationship
I am forwarding this to her
Hope she'll get some strength from this video...
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From my understanding, a narcisist is someone that became broken in toddlerhood because their emotional needs were not met. There is no cure.
Because of that, they have created a fake , very attractive and very charming persona. If we grow up with this type of parent, we have learned to be vigilant and extra careful, so we are attracted to this type of person. We need to do our own work, because even if we leave, we will be attracted to the same type of person.
Plz listey to your instincts,it never misguide you in this situation n than rely on Allah SWT.... U will in SHAA ALLAH find the way out from a close door ....trust him he is only a trustworthy.....stay blessed 😇 always
so damn true at 30:30
Only after strong bond with Allah swt we can deal with such spouse. i did it and completely at peace now with the same person.
@@hasfabahar9945 sister Nafeesas video has excellent tips we need.
After how long you could be able to do it ? 😢 I married him one year ago and I dont want this marriage to break so what I should do?
Salam sis, I am a new subscriber, MashaAllah so interesting, I got a divorce form my ex almost 2 years, we have a daughter, she will be two years next month InshaAllah, it was the best decision ever to move out of the marriage, he got all these symptoms you mentioned, it was very hard even after our divorce, because he tried to mixed me up with family, friends etc am still praying to Allah to heal me from the trauma. The only thing left for him is to try to use our daughter to gain power but my boundaries are already set....... May Allah guide us all.
Walaikumsalam sister. Alhamdulilah I’m so proud of you for making that move because I can’t imagine it being easy but like you said, it turned out to be the best decision for you. May Allah grant all sisters who are suffering a way out that is best for them, ameen.
I wish more sisters had this courage because abuse on any level is not ok.
It's so unfortunate that it's so hard for people around us or even family members to understand this situation but Alhamdulila my family lately understood me because he went to the extend insulting, bullying, etc everyone around me. The funniest thing is that he is 43 and am 30, but very emotional immature, it's so sad, I can't say all in the comment section, please ladies put your trust in Allah he will guide you through, it's just a test, I am happily married again, four months again, Alhamdulila.
My regards to everyone listening 🤲
What kind boundaries that u set?
beautifully put together, touched base from all different angles. Not many Muslim women talking about such things was much needed conversation❤
Thank you for this video sister. Im beginning to think that my husband is a narc. Today marks our 14th yr together but I can't remember when was the last time i felt genuinely happy. He is constantly insecure of my love to him to the point that he's always on the look out of whatever fault i may do. Im unhappy but I couldn't get out because of my daughters. My youngest loves him a lot. Inshaallah in a few years, when my kids are grown ups and have their own family, i will leave this marriage. For now, sabr.
Pray for him sis
@@faridaaali6170 thank you. I do make dua for him to change. I leave him to Allah
I feel the same😪 may Allah help us and guide us, ameen
Thank you for making this video. I am not Muslim, but any person trying to live with a narcissistic partner will find this video very helpful. Very well thought out. I will take your advice to heart and it will help me stay strong for myself and my children. Thank you.
Omg. Jaza khala xer sister. Min 23. I need it. I have a degree in social work and I don't feel like I'm good enough to be one. But I need to get out there and use my degree to help the Ummah.
Words of wisdom, spoken so well about such an important topic. Looking forward to video on narcissistic mother InshAllah. May Allah grant you Afiyah and success.
Alhamdulillah after 10years of endurance with 3 children i finally found out who am married to. Thank you.
Me too it has been 12 years.... I was expecting everyday he would change his behaviours
@@Catpurr-e4jNothing is impossible by Allah SWT’s will but in my experience and many other women’s, these men almost never change.
Jazakullahi Khairan for this very informative video sister Nafisa. After your narcissist series can you make a video on dealing misogynistic fathers while still giving them their respect that is due to parents in Islam. Thank you in advanced
There is no way I will take the blame for everything that goes wrong! That's just crazy!
From what I understand this is teaching u how to live with them if u have to then slowly eventually be able to slip away..
Thank you sister, it's absolute torture to be married to some who is like this.
Allahumma baarik sister this is an excellent and much needed series. You speak the haqq. Jazak Allah khair.
Why are my comments getting deleted?
I'm trying to make the Muslim victim be aware that they use Islam to intimidate their victims
But they do not act upon the faith themselves.
My ALLAH swt bless you sister. Unfortunately a lot of us have had the displeasure and dealt with narcissistic men even before marriage 😔
*Allah bless you my sister !!!*
Salam from Kazakhstan
👋🏻🙂💖🕋🕌
Thankyou so much!!! Please do make one for narcissistic inlaws. You have so beautifully described the narcissistic Muslim husband!!! And the dos and donts here... kudos!!!
It's easy to forgive and pretend to forget and move on but it's so hurtful to deal with silent treatments and humiliation in front of in laws. Jazakullah khairn for the video. It was spot on. How much your coaching sessions, by the way?
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I loved that cycle for 3 years then began to get wise and peep reality for what it was and not live in la la land.
May Allah reward you for making this video.I have been at the rock bottom.Living with a narcissistic partner has taken a toll on my mental health but your advice gave me so much strength.Thank you so much.
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One for a narc mother please.
***Please make duaa for me everyone***
Ameen ya rabil'alamin.
Its coming next week insha’Allah. I just thought it made more sense to release this one first as it made sense as a comeback to the last video.
Yes one for narcisstic parents plz nafisa it would mean alot
May Allah reward you for your efforts sister❤ I would like to request a series on womens rights in marraige
Ameen. Masha’Allah excellent idea 💡 I will do that insha’Allah.
Ridwanah
Ma sha Allah, finally 💃💃💃
Been waiting for upload from you sister 😍
😔🙏thk u soo much for this video. i literally feel that Allah is talking to me through you and this is my answer to my istikharah prayers. I have been married wth a Narcissist Husband, whom I dont really know much off, i always thought he has such a big ego and always wants to win and always wants to have a last say in everything. Every of ur point said in the video, is spot on! i cried at some point bcuz i never knew this craziness of a character and I am always put to blame. I just found out I am pregnant the moment when I really wanted to leave n tap out of this rlationship. he is short tempered n when he is angry he throw things shouted things get broken or hp got smashed or anything he can lay his hands on and he will twist the whole story to say it all on me. i feel honestly that i could not talk to him, like u mention they r not able to accept anything ppl said abt their character. i feel so blessed to have come across this video. i feel encouraged n feel that i am not alone for the first time. thank you Allah for bringing me here. now is d cooling period for me as i just learn im pregnant i need my peace and i am still thinking what i should do wt my husband as this will be our first child. may Allah bless you sister and may you continue to lighten the spirit of woman and man around and may your videos and dawah spreads to all those people suffering! may Allah increase you with knowlege and hidayah, 🙏
Ameen my dear sister. You are not alone unfortunately many people are also going through this. I ask Allah to keep you and your child safe until you decide on your next move. Allah loves you to have guided you to learn about narcissism so make the most of what you learn insha’Allah. Stay blessed and stay safe insha’Allah.
May things gets easier for you, i was pregnant in march when i thought i will leave now as it was his and his mother last chance. But we had a fight and he sent me to my mother with a smear campaign that she is crazy and needs treatment. Thus, i had a miscarriage due to stress and now everyday he is trying to ask me come back to home and im like i dont want to go back into that life. I am having difficulty in deciding whether to divorce him or not
Hi there sister, you are really pretty. First thing. Second thing, this happens in Christian circles too. There are lots of highly conservative Christian men who claim they have a relationship with God, but, they treat their wives with utter contempt and are highly controlling and unrepentant about this behaviour. They critize their wives constantly and say they are " just being honest". Sometimes people use religion to hide behind, rather than actually being devout.
Maa shaa Allah
You just spoke to me
May Allah continue to grant you his wisdom 🙏
Can help but think this is a video on how to self-destruct. 😂😂 But yes sis great video. Its just some tips for people who feel they can't get out yet.
Slm alkm sister. Thank you very much for your kind words and unparalleled wisdom and advice. Could you kindly give us a lesson on self-awareness , one on Muslim brothers and another on sisters so that we can know who we are and our responsibilities in the entire ecosystem especially family, society and whole world at large. Quite hefty and May Allah the most gracious reward you. Ameen.
Walaikumsalam. Jazaka’Allahu khairan for watching insha’Allah I will think about that. Thank you for the suggestion.
My sis I love you for the sake of Allah, I so needed this reminder, its been 13 years, I'm literally broken
May Allah guide our ummah
Ameen 🥰🥰🥰
We should make a lot of duah for our ummah Insha Allah.
Because our Prophet saw was very good with family.
Ameen
YAAAAAAAY!!!! I’ve been anxiously waiting for another video! Thank you Habebty! Barakallahu feeki ❤️
I am with narc husband of 25 yrs . He does not pray, he is abusive, cheater . He is a demon . He has diverted my children not to pray. He is very bad
Assalaam Alaikum my lovely sis Nafisa. Mashallah you always have a beautiful Noor on your face. Missed you dearly. Please dua for me and my family, thank you. Love you loads. ❤️❤️❤️
May Allah easy your affairs 🙏
Walaikumsalam sister, thank you for your kind words and may Allah ease your affairs and those of your family too, ameen
May easy and grant your heart desires, ameen
Ridwanah
Jazaakillahukhayra sister..very beneficial mashaAllah.
JazakAllahKair Sister for this video... May Allah bless you and protect you.
Thank you for this video, thank you for sharing all your knowledge. May Allah swt protect all sisters from that.
Sister I really want to Thank you for this video, you really explained things so well. I appreciate you bought this topic as a lot of people are suffering but no one really talks about it.
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Asalam alaikom ❤️
Make Allah swt bless you sister , I am really crying with this coz I am so lonely I don’t have no body in Uk to speak (no friends ) i am feeling so lose coz understand my life is very hard and this video really touch me so much 😢
Wa Aleykum Salaam sister
Am so sorry for your hardship,may Allah make it easier for you inshallah.
Wa alaikum salam . May Allah SWT give you good friends who will help you get closer to Him ameen 💖 don't worry sister, you have Allah SWT, Prophet Muhammad saw and the whole Ummah as your friends. We are here for you. I hope you are ok .🙂
I'm also going through difficult times sister. May Allah make it easy for you and for me :) Keep watching videos like these and videos that talk about Allah's mercy and help. We might be alone, but what matters is we have Allah SWT.
Yess, my dear sister Nafisa we missed you. I hope you’re doing good Alhamdulillah 🥰
Alhamdulilah I’m well. Jazaka’Allahu khairan for asking
@@NafisasPearlz anytime my dear. May ALLAH عز و جل protect you and grants you immense reward for again taking your time to make those informative videos.
I watched this video one week before my marriage. I saw the red flags from my husband-to-be and thought I should pull out but thought maybe it’ll get better over time. It didn’t. Things worsened and the imbalance in the relationship increased. Listen to your gut. :(
Ladies, if you can please involve your family or a surrogate Wali service such as Solace. Let them be the representatives of your best interest so they can convey your desires. If you have second thoughts, speak up. Be absolutely comfortable with your choice
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Very very interesting. May Allah SAW reward u with jannatulfiddaus. May Allah make it easy for us
May Allah see us through the right path 🙏 thanks sister 😘
Quran 4.34 "Men are in charge of women -.........if you think your wife will be disobedient then BEAT HER " ua-cam.com/video/caZXwHuyeOc/v-deo.html
Exactly about good men teaching boys how to be a men I also think that and wish this was a topic in mosques where imams teach young boys how to be men, I had that conversation with sisters too
Thanks from the depth of my heart... jazakallahu kaseerun
Everything your saying is true I became Muslim partially because I thought it would make him happy but all it does is give him more control I'm am trying to break away from him but it's kinda scary because I don't know if he will stand by his threats
I'm so sorry Cynthia...
Learn TO. DEFEND Yourself !
❤👍very good content mashaAllah,so glad to hear.alhamdolilah im not the only one who thinks this wallahi.
Jazaki Allahou khayran my Sister❤️
Get out as soon as you can
In sha'a Allah
Pretending will damage your soul beyond repair!
You self esteem will be crushed and you will be miserable!
Run for the hills!!
So you can do YOU in peace
May Allah make it easy for everyone in this situation and guide us all to good ❤
Allah is with you!
Don't ever forget that!
If your husband is a narcissist leave, run and never come back....
Narcissists do not change.
You are just like my elder sister I am always looking for
In short all these means is just don’t stay with them.divorce them 😅
im not muslim but this has taught me alot. thank you.
I love u my sister keep posting useful videos jazakallah
Can you make a video about making Allah our number one priority?. And how to get close to him?and form a relashionship with him?. Thank you
MashaAllah..good video and info. Will share it along..Jazak Allah khair
Waiyakum
This is draining me, after insulting me and humiliating me the next day he acts like nothing happened,this video will help me till I makeup my mind
What did you decide sister? May Allah make it easy on you
@dodonuts2811 I moved out there is inner peace and joy now
@@el7533how long it takes to forget them ?
Allahuma Barikfiki sister Nafisa ❤
Alhamdulilah, been waiting on your nest upload 💃🏻💃🏻
This is the first video of yours that I'm watching and I really like the way you speak and advise, sister :) Thank you.
Best to get out. Straight away.
I wasted 13years
Walaikum salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu Masha Allah thank you. I needed to hear this. ❤️
Book of Ephesians Chapter 5 - Jesus says Husbands love your wives, surah 4.34 muhammad says husbands beat your wives.
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This was very helpful video.
Thank you 🙏🏼
Jazakallah Khair for addressing and helping to understand.
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There is no good where a narcissistic person is involved.
Dear Nafisa, do you think that Pilligramige to Mekka can change my narcissistic husband?
22:50 exactly my husband is almost like my father....just I realize..same narcississtic trait s
Allahuma barik sis Nafisat
Each and every thing is so true and my personal experience as my husband is exactly the same