1. Attraction (mutual interest in both sides) 2. Istikhara (positive response from your istikhara) 3. Core values (he meets your core values) 4. Compatibility (your personalities complement each other) 5. Goals ( Your main life goals align) 6. Lifestyle (your lifestyle align) 7. Family (they are in agreement with your marriage!) 8. Protection ( he is protective over you in a healthy way!) 9. Providing (he is able to provide for you)
This is a great video. I’m a Christian and felt my ex husband trapped me to believe he was a good Godly man. Once wee got married he went back into a life of smoking weed and he stopped going to church. We where married for 18 years and we have 4 beautiful children. So much more to mention on here. Currently I’ve felt God is leading me to Islam. Over the last 6 months I’ve been studying the Quran and praying much. Please pray for me sisters. I currently have a lovely Muslim man who has become my friend. He has been a blessing. We have met a couple of times in public places. He’s full of respect and it has came equally for both of us. He’s from Oman and I’m from Ireland. I’m praying much about this situation as well. My next husband will have to be a very Godly man I won’t settle for anything less.
Aww. May Allāh keep your heart firm on His religion, may He also ease your affairs and bless you with a pious husband who will be the coolness of your eyes and you will be the coolness of his eyes too. Aamiin.
My sisters, you can't study a man fully before marriage. You can only know them after you've lived with them,so the most important thing is to ask Allah for a righteous man who would love you for His sake not for worldly reasons.
Am still here praying to The Almighty Allah to bless me with a good husband, am 35 but I have faith that I will eventually get married when Allah wills.
Agreed with istikarah. Im with someone previously & pray in my istikarah. I was given a hint that he was not the one, my family not agreed with our relationship & his attitude getting on my nerve. Alhamdulillah i feel peace after ending our relationship & i found someone better after 2years of my prayer. Allah give me someone in a right time.
3:25 "The feelings will come to me later" is a huge misconception. Very well spoken on this matter ukhti 👏🏿Sometimes we fear never marrying, or aging, and wonder if we're being too strict so we tend to settle unknowingly, but if you can't see yourself in that man's arms, and the thought disgusts you, then how do you expect yourself to live with this man with love and affection. Salatul istikhara inshaAllah will clarify your qadr. May Allah reward you greatly, dear sister ♡
I do istekhara for marriage proposal. My family is sayisfied. But i have doubts about this proposal and statisfavtion that ALLAH will stop this to happen and will protect me from this man. I am calmness in my heart that N MOREOVER I just want to keep quit and left this matter to ALLAH. Is this a sign of istekhara? That this man is nit in my good favour
@@UpGradedUkhtiistikharas answer is not by feelings. If that man is bad for you something will stop him from marrying you. Allah will stop it. Please watch some videos from Sheikh Assim Al Hakeem talking about istikhara. Make sure that you prayed istikhara correctly.
I would also add a sense of peace or feeling like home. If the is person gives you a sense of peace and your heart is at ease about him / with him , that is a huge sign as well.
My Istikharah showed me clear path and it open all the doors until he got cold feet and broke up with me last minute. After meeting the family, friends, setting our goals, even our retirement plans were we going to be. His lost Alhamdulilah I’m going to be okay Insha Allah
Also remember sisters(and brothers) if a marriage becomes toxic or you simply fall out of love you are fully within your rights to divorce. A toxic or unhappy marriage will never be worth suffering.
Masha Allah I think Allah ﷺ has guided me to found and listen to you. I’ve asked on my prayer about marriage so Allah could guide me and this came on my feed. Subhanallah. Thank you 🙏🏼
completely agree with everything nafisa said. a sensible woman with a healthy mind would think about all of these before getting married. especially if the goals are aligned with you. for example my cousin just divorced his wife bcos she wanna work abroad and he didn't agree with that. she insists to work abroad regardless. the verdict is divorce if that makes both parties happy. it's just very sad... and also the attraction. people always said I too focus on physical attraction. I'm not looking for the hottest man in the world, but just a good-looking man in my eyes. yet my friends always said I'm too choosy. like nafisa said, at least you need a little attraction so that you both can pursue the needs. can't imagine how you are just ok with any look while you will sleep with them, eat with them. if they're not pleasantly looking in your eyes, how can you live for the rest of your life with your partner...
Same here I always tell my family I want a man that I’m attracted too and they always think I want the most good looking man on earth and I have to explain to them in details and they now understand, physical attraction and emotional is so important and people should know that. Islam tells us to look at this
@@sumy4551 exactly, even in Islam is permissable to look at physical appearance as one of your spouse criteria. so why look frown upon that. mufti menk has mentioned this as well. do you wanna live with somebody who isn't physically attracted to you. that would be difficult to go thru your life
I agree 💯 and please never loose your value. Don’t listen to anyone that believe you are choosy! When you go through divorce or end up a lone parent, none of them will suffer the consequences on your behalf. I’m divorced and can tell you physical attraction is very important! Just because a man is attractive to the world, it doesn’t mean you’ll be attracted to them or with time you’ll fall for their character. Yes some make compromises and fall In love in marriage, but this is a very small minority. You must feel something when you see them! Women are different and without that chemistry and attraction, intimacy becomes very difficult!
super right!! we always want to sound perfect that we don't care about the looks in relationships, but who r we kidding? IT MATTERS in marriage! and as muslims we're ought to make the effort to look our best(both men n women) to please n attract our partners, but people r just pressured to sound perfect while we all deep down want to be with someone we're attracted too, yes marriage is not only about attraction, but attracrtion is a huge part of it
I am sad my parents dont understand me too I feel like If I accept what they want I will end up being unfair in my marriage and for me is better to be alone than being unfair in marriage and breaking someones else heart what my parent can find good looking is not the same for me our taste is different what my friend find good looking is diffrent for me hamdoulilah الله created diffrent type for everyone. i know I might seem picky which I wish I was not sometimes and I wish my heart could accept my parent choice of futur husband but my heart just cant and I night I cry because I cant put them into my heart may الله forgave me for feeling this way. me too I want good looking husband into my eyes I don't care if everyone finds him ugly for me he should be the coolest of my heart and my eyes.
Alhamdulilah you added protective in a healthy way coz really some girls sees over protective which is unhealthy as sign of love 🤦♀️🤦♀️ May Allah guide us all Thanks sister❤
You have been missed Nafisa. A very interesting video to be had, since there’s much to understand when it comes to finding the right spouse. جزاك اللهُ خيرًا again love for this well needed topic.
Definitely came at the right time 🥺 Can you make a video about how to manage family relationships ? Toxic family members etc and all of that , I'm struggling so much with it , between feeling the need to cut bridges , and then people telling me that it's not islamic to do so and I have to be patient until the end 🙂
I'm not married yet but from life experience and a failed engagement I've discovered these are very important ones especially estkhara and and core values And all other points are very important mashAllah
Wow. Thank you for this sis. I am always indecisive in matters like this. And there is also the pressure that comes from family and friends concerning this marriage issue. May Allah guide us all. And may Allah reward you for this.
Aww sister, how about long distance relationships ? How can you know if someone is really now I find Pakistan guys he looks like nice guy but people keep tell me not because he is Pakistan and I am black women what can I do?
The point about families being in agreement is a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow, but well said, Nafisa. If you are praying istikhara and family is being an obstacle, I think it is prudent for us to take that as a barrier Allah SWT is placing to protect us. And Allah SWT knows best.
Would you be okay on elaborating on that more? InshaAllah. What if it isn't an obstacle, but a test? Or what if there are certain concerns where parents need to be talked to and convinced? Because sometimes, parents may not accept and agree right away. Jazakallahu Khairan!
It is a really hard one and in all honesty sometimes parents reasoning for refusing is not justified and based on their unjustified discriminations but sometimes they truly are looking out for their kids but the child doesn’t realise until later on in life. May Allah guide us all to what is best.
So what if you are a revert lady and your family wouldn't allow you marry a Muslim man simply because they don't even like it that you are a revert Muslim so 🤷
@@aishahabibi6463 in that case the father would not have the authtority to prevent you to get married and you would have to find a male wali instead of him. If you cant find anyone in your family, then the qaadi (judge or muslim authority in the community) will suffice.
Mash Allah another great video tips and advice for sisters. Good advice. We need it in this day and age! A once disposed a weak, a narcissist, a psycho, a mentally & emotionally unstable a rude, arrogant, stingy argumentative, deluded 50 year old indian man/ just days before the nikkah! Just in time. Luckily I was saved by Allah! Alhamdulilah. I thank Allah azza wajjal till this day. Marry someone who is right for you and stable in every way - and always seek Allah's help. Marry someone who will add to you!
Thank you for this video. I had the nagging feeling that I was settling on a marriage proposal because of pressure from family and pressure concerning my age… but this video really brought to light that settling for a man you don’t even like as a person isn’t ok
I’m glad you’ve reflected on this! Take it from a lone parent whose been divorced multiple times. At the end of the day, those who put pressure on you will not suffer the consequences of divorce or being a lone parent. Also think about the impact it would have on future kids etc
@@Adr1267 I’m still not that well honestly… but Ty for asking. I haven’t told him that I am not interested in marrying him. since Im 26 I feel pressured to settle for a marriage since I’m getting older.. I’m nervous to disclose that I want to end my situation with him
@@redapple9488 I know exactly how that feels I've been in a your situation before but the thing is, remember you will be most affected by the marriage if you marry the wrong person, not your family. I'm 26 now too and I'm still so glad I rejected that man that my family wanted me to marry. I found out more negative stuff about him later on too. Also remember that being able to choose a husband is a blessing that not all women have, so I suggest you reap the FRUITS of this blessing!
@@Khayran thank you for everyone’s kind words. It’s good to know that I am not alone in this experience. I guess I’m scared to reject the proposal since I don’t TECHNICALLY have a good reason to. He’s religious and a pretty decent guy. I just personally am not into him at all. We don’t connect/vibe and I’m not interested nor am I attracted to him. But I feel my family wouldn’t get my reasoning for rejecting “a good proposal from a good family”
Going through a hard time waiting for a relief from Allah arrahman it has been about a year and half this conflict in my life has startedIn Sha Allah please keep me in your duas sisters May be that Allah arrahman accepts one of your Dua and grant me the very much needed relief May Allah bless us all immensly Aameen aameen yarabbal aalameen
So proud of you sister Allahuma Barik. May Allah bless you with a righteous spouse (when you are ready) who will be the coolness of your eyes. Allahuma Ameen💕
Istikhara is SO important. I'm not married but I remember once I had to chose between two fields of studies and I was so lost as to what to chose and what would be better for my future. I prayed istikhara and wallahi by the time I had finished one of the two options completely left my heart and became unappealing. Never thought of "what if chose that field" again.
@@السلام-غ9ج Assalamu Alikom wa Rahmatu Allah wa Barakatih .. here is a link to a detailed video on how to perform Salat al Istikhara by Sheikh Mufti Menk: ua-cam.com/video/FrO3slC5t5k/v-deo.html . watch it and may Allah ease your way to the right decision.
I am a recent revert and I had a few long term relationships before. I feel that every relationship taught me so much, and made me grow as a person, develop my ability to understand others, expanded my view of life, and made me grow into becoming a great partner. To be close to a person and going through life together is a great teacher that I’m so grateful for. Listening to this video I think it must be difficult to find the one without any experience. But I greatly respect everyone who waits until marriage and I wish them all to find true love ❤️
Be very careful about sharing your past relationships sis with Muslims around you, because if they know certain things, it might be harder for you to have a good name for marriage. Move with a clean slate to make things easier for yourself.💘
@@sarahb6758 a man who loves her for her will not be bothered by her past relationships. Plus he would find out either way it would be better to be upfront than make someone feel like they were deceived.
I came across your UA-cam channel a long time ago and now today I know you got married I am happy for you sister Alhamdulillah. May Allah bless you and protect you. Keep me in your duas
by overprotective the lady means, we wouldn’t let anything scratch you. we wouldn’t let you trip or get hurt. we’re always there for you no matter what.
Unfortunately for some men this means taking away your freedom and your rights which is wrong. Protecting your spouse should guarantee her safety not make her miserable by controling her
Alhamdullilah first to comment, I lovea your videos sister nafisa.thank you and you are glowing amarya( amarya means new bride in hausa language northern nigeria, but in yoruba its iyawo
this Girl is my hero she is not going into things that we didn't want to talk about it she is so beautiful and find husband it was easy for us Muslim women to get a Husband but what is the problem is we don't usually don't love our husbands especially when we get married by arrangement marriage in my culture we use to do that but lately people grow up from that ignorant and then now we have to act like the western countries we meet men through friends and they are all good men before married but when we go into the marriage then we are stuck and we don't no other choices but to accept what we go and it has to work and we have to deal with whatever he comes with even if want to marry again which Muslim men always think about in the first year in your marriage so that is why we are having a lot of
Congratulations on your marriage ya ukhti! May Allah bless you both and keep you together in peace, love and mercy in this world and the hereafter. Ameen ya rabb! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Could you make a video about How Allah is preparing you for marriage? I feel like muslims dont pay attention to this aspect whereas Christians always highlight the fact that there are signs your getting prepared for marriage thru certain signs or development of character and growing maturity. Its dissappointing that muslims dont focus more on this aspect as much as they focus on preparing yourself for marriage which is not the same as Allah preparing you for marriage cuz then you know for sure that you will get married and not get lost in uncertainty, doubts and confusion...
Such a good lady to bring us the benefit of her knowledge. My husband told me he chose an American not to have issues with experience. I told him I had no choice being 17 and having a very strict father so deal with it!!
Mashaa Allah tabarakaAllah sister ❤️ JazakaAllahu Khair.......May Allah bless your married life and Grant you goodness in this dunya and JANAH in akhera ❤️
Always ask for guidance from Allah SHT and please listen when Allah send you response whether you like it or not. I met this great guy everything seems perfect but as soon as I ask for guidance we always have a big fight over nothing it happens every time I ask for guidance so I have decided to let it go and submit to Allah’s plan even tho it’s painful. I pray Allah gives us sabr.Thank you for this video 🙏🏽
I got a marriage proposal recently and the guy and his family are good. They are willing to listen to everything I say and my family really wants me to get married there. But I am not really attracted to that guy and I feel like I should not say no cuz this might be the only good proposal I'll ever get so I am doing istikhara. I feel like if I marry him it'll only be because my family thinks he is only good shot I'll have .
Thank you so much Nafisa, for this wonderful information! Throughout this marriage process, it’s felt like I have to settle, but I know not to do so. You video has helped reinforce that.
I miss watching your videos so much! I have an older account and I was subscribed and I was watching your videos during Ramadan two years ago. My mother died a few months later and…I was not able to focus on anything. I went through a very difficult time in my life, to put it simply. This Ramadan, I wanted to go back to that and your name kept clicking in my head all day yesterday and, without effort, I kid you not, your videos were in my suggestions. So, here I am, on your channel. Thank you so much for your wisdom and love ✨
BarakAllahu feeki ukhti for such a beneficial video! One point that I'd like to point is regarding the ayah displayed in the begining overlapping with humming, why not have a recite reciting the ayah? It is be more impactful that way. ♥️ plus will not disrespect the ayah displayed 🌹
I found your video in my UA-cam suggestions and I'm not even surprised by what I just heard: how many times have I done the salaat istikhara and douaas for this man and how positive the signs have been for me. We have the same projects, personalities that complement each other and the same vision of life. The only problem is that we live in 2 different countries, he intends to come to my country next summer but in the meantime it's a relationship that is haram even if we are not in a couple anyway thank you for your video 💕
This really came in at the right time, I checked your channel this morning to confirm maybe am not being updated anymore and immediately I saw the notification popped, my mind was calm and relaxed and watching this made me fulfilled. BarokaLlah fii yah ukhty💖
Can you create a video explaining everything a convert woman needs to know? I am converting (I come from non Muslim non religious family) and I’m being courted for marriage currently by Muslim man… I have been reading the Quran for months but as far as culture I have no idea if anything. I just how to pray, I didn’t know hygiene practices that are required, I didn’t know about other things I must do daily outside of 5 daily prayers such as bathroom routines, etc. I don’t know the Islamic holidays. Can you please do a video for converts explaining what we may need to know😭
All good talking points. I would add 1 important thing I think the sister missed, when it comes to sisters determining if the guy is the one for them or not. Envision the guy as the leader of your kids and YOURSELF, and assess the level of discomfort and/or opposition you feel within yourself. If that's high, then he is not the one.
I accepting your idea and how can get good wife for allaha? I need to change one place to other place incase of realy for live worshiped only allaha ways with the wife respect evrything and to do with me for allaha.
He shows me all the good signs that I need to believe that his ready for the relationship but unfortunately he changed for no reason after I fall in love with him... I'm still struggling with his love in my heart 😢
Thank you for sharing your knowledge sister, Ma Sha Allah you are wise and I learned a lot. I’ll definitely work on myself. I have also heard that you should try to be someone who’d you want to attract for example if you want a religious and pious husband then you should try to be like that before marriage. If you want to attract a fit/healthy man then you should be fit and workout to attract a man like that.
Jazakuallahu khairan for posting this sister. Alhamdulilah so there’s not a video of yours that I have watched that i have not found beneficial. Everytime it feels like you are speaking directly to me, may Allah accept and reward you for efforts in educating us and May it weigh heavy on your scale of goods on the day of judgement.
Masha allah Masha allah tan waa tii boqolka halaad laga biixinn jiray That’s what we say when we see a girl like you Very smart beautiful and with Deen. Your husband is a very lucky man good luck to you guys
Mashallah nafisa! Im so happy and Glad That you posted this! I needed this ! Sooo Much Subhanallah. Allah Send me you as a sign ❤️ may Allah bless you and everyone who is watching. May Allah enrich us⭐️⭐️
Thank you so much for this video was very beneficial, I would have to rewatch it again... I pray that Allah subhana wata'ala give us the best of the best in this earth and hereafter... Amiin
SubhanaAllah!!!! Sis thank you so much for such amazing videos your always sharing with us such beautiful beneficial knowledge Ma shaa Allah TabarakAllah beautiful advice Sis🤲🏾🤲🏾❤️🌹
I met the one I want to marry and from the beginning I knew that my family might 99% refuse because of the colour of the guys family and I told him and because of family ranking or something like that and to be honest my family refused because he comes from almost a black family although he's a good man,1 year passed and we will try again إن شاء الله
may الله make it easy the proohet (ﷺ) said an black person is not better white person but only in piety if youre parent are really true muslim following the prophet(ﷺ) should take in consideration. that you dont judge a person by their color or race my الله ease for you make tahajjud prayer my sister dont loose hope
he's rich, my cousin, and he seems nice, his istakarah was positive but mine came out negative many times. I have ongoing mental illness and I'm only 18, plus I'm not attracted to him, am I making a mistake by thinking of saying no? Everyone is telling me I'm making a big mistake
Assalamu alaikum sister.. And Congratulations sister for your marriage.. May Allah give barakah in your married life. Pray for me so that I can also find my right one.
Astaghfirullah hal 'azim al lazi laa ilaha illa huwal hayyul qayyum wa atubu ilaih “Our Lord! Grant unto us spouses and offspring who will be the coolness of our eyes.” (25:74), ameen
There is no other half… because you are already whole and complete. ❤ There will be nobody that will complete you, but God. ❤Your husband/partner is a bonus or a gift to furthermore complete yourself. ❤
Me and my soon to be wife are becoming Muslim before marriage, may Allah SWT bless all of you and us
Alhamdulillah, May Allah bless you, your wife to be and your marriage. May it be a means for you to enter Jannah. Ameen.
Ma shaa Allah.
May Allah make it easy for you, and guide, have mercy upon you, and bless you through it.
@@pontsomotsau7793 thank you so much 😊
@@faridaashu5505 thank you so much 😊
@@micgreenson7308 my pleasure.
I don't regret change from a Christian to a Muslim am so happy and I believe in Allah
🎉Congratulations🎉 welcome to Islam ❤❤
SubhanAllah
Ma Shaa Allah. May Allah keep guiding you.
1. Attraction (mutual interest in both sides)
2. Istikhara (positive response from your istikhara)
3. Core values (he meets your core values)
4. Compatibility (your personalities complement each other)
5. Goals ( Your main life goals align)
6. Lifestyle (your lifestyle align)
7. Family (they are in agreement with your marriage!)
8. Protection ( he is protective over you in a healthy way!)
9. Providing (he is able to provide for you)
This is a great video. I’m a Christian and felt my ex husband trapped me to believe he was a good Godly man. Once wee got married he went back into a life of smoking weed and he stopped going to church. We where married for 18 years and we have 4 beautiful children. So much more to mention on here.
Currently I’ve felt God is leading me to Islam. Over the last 6 months I’ve been studying the Quran and praying much. Please pray for me sisters.
I currently have a lovely Muslim man who has become my friend. He has been a blessing. We have met a couple of times in public places. He’s full of respect and it has came equally for both of us. He’s from Oman and I’m from Ireland.
I’m praying much about this situation as well. My next husband will have to be a very Godly man I won’t settle for anything less.
Aww.
May Allāh keep your heart firm on His religion, may He also ease your affairs and bless you with a pious husband who will be the coolness of your eyes and you will be the coolness of his eyes too. Aamiin.
@@mafahkiz1863 thank you for your lovely words 🌻☘️
God bless you sister
look into Islam sister, that should be your first priority may Allah open your heart to accepting Islam and becoming a muslim
Sorry dear may Allah give Mr.who is a Muslim inshallah but u should also convert to Islam
My sisters, you can't study a man fully before marriage. You can only know them after you've lived with them,so the most important thing is to ask Allah for a righteous man who would love you for His sake not for worldly reasons.
Correct 💯
Best answer sister
I agree 👍
Facts
Just look at his parents a lot of your questions will be answered
Am still here praying to The Almighty Allah to bless me with a good husband, am 35 but I have faith that I will eventually get married when Allah wills.
Insha allah
Insha Allah❤
Agreed with istikarah. Im with someone previously & pray in my istikarah. I was given a hint that he was not the one, my family not agreed with our relationship & his attitude getting on my nerve. Alhamdulillah i feel peace after ending our relationship & i found someone better after 2years of my prayer. Allah give me someone in a right time.
subhanallah
Remember me in your dua sister ,,may Allah grant me a Better spouse soon
May Allah grant you the best of spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes.
@@NafisasPearlz Ameen thuma ameen
@@popularmmos8428 Ameen ,In shaa Allah thank you
@@NafisasPearlz Ameen including me.
@@NafisasPearlz
Ameen
Alhamdulillah, this means that I've found him already! ❤️
We are getting married in October 2022, In'sha'Allah... Please pray for us ❤️
May Allah bless you two💫 I wish you all the best sister💚
May Allah help all sisters around the world to find their true husband! Amen!
MashaAllahhh may Allah bless your marriage and keep u guys together in this life and i the hereafter in jannah
@@Мэйбл-ч1к ameeen
Mashaallah may Allah protect you guys and keep you together till death and in jannah inshaallah❤️
Not long now! May Allah bless your marriage and grant you happiness xx
3:25 "The feelings will come to me later" is a huge misconception.
Very well spoken on this matter ukhti 👏🏿Sometimes we fear never marrying, or aging, and wonder if we're being too strict so we tend to settle unknowingly, but if you can't see yourself in that man's arms, and the thought disgusts you, then how do you expect yourself to live with this man with love and affection.
Salatul istikhara inshaAllah will clarify your qadr.
May Allah reward you greatly, dear sister ♡
I do istekhara for marriage proposal. My family is sayisfied.
But i have doubts about this proposal and statisfavtion that ALLAH will stop this to happen and will protect me from this man. I am calmness in my heart that N MOREOVER I just want to keep quit and left this matter to ALLAH.
Is this a sign of istekhara?
That this man is nit in my good favour
@@UpGradedUkhtiistikharas answer is not by feelings. If that man is bad for you something will stop him from marrying you. Allah will stop it. Please watch some videos from Sheikh Assim Al Hakeem talking about istikhara. Make sure that you prayed istikhara correctly.
@@Veilorah i was stopped evem before coming to my home.
I would also add a sense of peace or feeling like home. If the is person gives you a sense of peace and your heart is at ease about him / with him , that is a huge sign as well.
My Istikharah showed me clear path and it open all the doors until he got cold feet and broke up with me last minute. After meeting the family, friends, setting our goals, even our retirement plans were we going to be. His lost Alhamdulilah I’m going to be okay Insha Allah
may Allah reward you for your patience
Darood Nazar e Kram perhyn Ya Rehmatul Alamin Sallalahu Alaika wasalum Huzoor Nazre Kram farmayn mujh pr
What's your ig
Sirf Allah SWT nazar se bacha sakte hain, haur koi nahin
Please make dua for me that Allah softens my father's heart so I can marry who I want. May Allah bless you all.
If he is best for you then may Allah guide your father’s heart to agree and pray for you both, ameen.
Don’t force anything, rely on Allah and prayer
Also remember sisters(and brothers) if a marriage becomes toxic or you simply fall out of love you are fully within your rights to divorce. A toxic or unhappy marriage will never be worth suffering.
Masha Allah I think Allah ﷺ has guided me to found and listen to you. I’ve asked on my prayer about marriage so Allah could guide me and this came on my feed. Subhanallah. Thank you 🙏🏼
completely agree with everything nafisa said. a sensible woman with a healthy mind would think about all of these before getting married. especially if the goals are aligned with you. for example my cousin just divorced his wife bcos she wanna work abroad and he didn't agree with that. she insists to work abroad regardless. the verdict is divorce if that makes both parties happy. it's just very sad... and also the attraction. people always said I too focus on physical attraction. I'm not looking for the hottest man in the world, but just a good-looking man in my eyes. yet my friends always said I'm too choosy. like nafisa said, at least you need a little attraction so that you both can pursue the needs. can't imagine how you are just ok with any look while you will sleep with them, eat with them. if they're not pleasantly looking in your eyes, how can you live for the rest of your life with your partner...
Same here I always tell my family I want a man that I’m attracted too and they always think I want the most good looking man on earth and I have to explain to them in details and they now understand, physical attraction and emotional is so important and people should know that. Islam tells us to look at this
@@sumy4551 exactly, even in Islam is permissable to look at physical appearance as one of your spouse criteria. so why look frown upon that. mufti menk has mentioned this as well. do you wanna live with somebody who isn't physically attracted to you. that would be difficult to go thru your life
I agree 💯 and please never loose your value. Don’t listen to anyone that believe you are choosy! When you go through divorce or end up a lone parent, none of them will suffer the consequences on your behalf. I’m divorced and can tell you physical attraction is very important! Just because a man is attractive to the world, it doesn’t mean you’ll be attracted to them or with time you’ll fall for their character. Yes some make compromises and fall In love in marriage, but this is a very small minority. You must feel something when you see them! Women are different and without that chemistry and attraction, intimacy becomes very difficult!
super right!! we always want to sound perfect that we don't care about the looks in relationships, but who r we kidding? IT MATTERS in marriage! and as muslims we're ought to make the effort to look our best(both men n women) to please n attract our partners, but people r just pressured to sound perfect while we all deep down want to be with someone we're attracted too, yes marriage is not only about attraction, but attracrtion is a huge part of it
I am sad my parents dont understand me too I feel like If I accept what they want I will end up being unfair in my marriage and for me is better to be alone than being unfair in marriage and breaking someones else heart what my parent can find good looking is not the same for me our taste is different what my friend find good looking is diffrent for me hamdoulilah الله created diffrent type for everyone.
i know I might seem picky which I wish I was not sometimes and I wish my heart could accept my parent choice of futur husband but my heart just cant and I night I cry because I cant put them into my heart may الله forgave me for feeling this way.
me too I want good looking husband into my eyes I don't care if everyone finds him ugly for me he should be the coolest of my heart and my eyes.
I’m a man and I’m taking note of this myself. These pointers are spot on for both genders tbh💯
Sister, it’s as if an elder sister is speaking to me. Jazak Allah for this video 💕
Waiyakum
Congratulations on your nikah, Nafisa - mabrook! Thanks for dropping these gems for all of us. ☺️
One of the character I don't like a man do is cheating... Nobody is compatible when the man cheats
Alhamdulilah you added protective in a healthy way coz really some girls sees over protective which is unhealthy as sign of love 🤦♀️🤦♀️
May Allah guide us all
Thanks sister❤
You have been missed Nafisa. A very interesting video to be had, since there’s much to understand when it comes to finding the right spouse. جزاك اللهُ خيرًا again love for this well needed topic.
Thank you dear. Glad you found it beneficial. Jzk
brothers and sisters. Please pray for me because I have a big exam coming up. I want to do well and also pray I find my other half soon.
May Allah make it easy for you Ameen trust Him
may Allah azawajal make it easy for you Ameen
Congratulations on your nikkah. May Allah bless your marriage. 🙂
Definitely came at the right time 🥺 Can you make a video about how to manage family relationships ? Toxic family members etc and all of that , I'm struggling so much with it , between feeling the need to cut bridges , and then people telling me that it's not islamic to do so and I have to be patient until the end 🙂
Insha’Allah I will add that to my list.
Im going through similar issues myself. It’s not easy at all.
May Allah make it easy for you and rectify all your affairs .
Ameen 🤲🤲🤲🤲
Yes please
@@lionessz9122Darood Nazar e Kram perhyn Ya Rehmatul Alamin Sallalahu Alaika wasalum Huzoor Nazre Kram farmayn mujh pr
I'm not married yet but from life experience and a failed engagement I've discovered these are very important ones especially estkhara and and core values
And all other points are very important mashAllah
Wow. Thank you for this sis. I am always indecisive in matters like this. And there is also the pressure that comes from family and friends concerning this marriage issue. May Allah guide us all. And may Allah reward you for this.
Ameen. It is indeed a careful choice to be made but with Allah’s help it can be easier
Aameen aameen yarabbal aalameen
You have nailed it all, same thing am experiencing.
Aww sister, how about long distance relationships ? How can you know if someone is really now I find Pakistan guys he looks like nice guy but people keep tell me not because he is Pakistan and I am black women what can I do?
@@fatumauwimana8240 Meet his family, bring a family member, ask questions, get feedback.
This was soo beneficial! Thank you so much. May Allah shower your marriage with His barakah & sakinah, ameen!!
The point about families being in agreement is a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow, but well said, Nafisa. If you are praying istikhara and family is being an obstacle, I think it is prudent for us to take that as a barrier Allah SWT is placing to protect us. And Allah SWT knows best.
Would you be okay on elaborating on that more? InshaAllah. What if it isn't an obstacle, but a test? Or what if there are certain concerns where parents need to be talked to and convinced? Because sometimes, parents may not accept and agree right away. Jazakallahu Khairan!
It is a really hard one and in all honesty sometimes parents reasoning for refusing is not justified and based on their unjustified discriminations but sometimes they truly are looking out for their kids but the child doesn’t realise until later on in life. May Allah guide us all to what is best.
@@NafisasPearlz You are full of wisdom ❤️
So what if you are a revert lady and your family wouldn't allow you marry a Muslim man simply because they don't even like it that you are a revert Muslim so 🤷
@@aishahabibi6463 in that case the father would not have the authtority to prevent you to get married and you would have to find a male wali instead of him. If you cant find anyone in your family, then the qaadi (judge or muslim authority in the community) will suffice.
I needed to be reminded that to settle is in fact the hard way and the wrong way to go about things.
Mash Allah another great video tips and advice for sisters. Good advice. We need it in this day and age! A once disposed a weak, a narcissist, a psycho, a mentally & emotionally unstable a rude, arrogant, stingy argumentative, deluded 50 year old indian man/ just days before the nikkah! Just in time. Luckily I was saved by Allah! Alhamdulilah. I thank Allah azza wajjal till this day. Marry someone who is right for you and stable in every way - and always seek Allah's help. Marry someone who will add to you!
I will married soon Thank you for all the advice and support love you 😍 and Allah bless you
Thank you for this video. I had the nagging feeling that I was settling on a marriage proposal because of pressure from family and pressure concerning my age… but this video really brought to light that settling for a man you don’t even like as a person isn’t ok
I’m glad you’ve reflected on this! Take it from a lone parent whose been divorced multiple times. At the end of the day, those who put pressure on you will not suffer the consequences of divorce or being a lone parent. Also think about the impact it would have on future kids etc
how r u now sister
@@Adr1267 I’m still not that well honestly… but Ty for asking. I haven’t told him that I am not interested in marrying him. since Im 26 I feel pressured to settle for a marriage since I’m getting older.. I’m nervous to disclose that I want to end my situation with him
@@redapple9488 I know exactly how that feels I've been in a your situation before but the thing is, remember you will be most affected by the marriage if you marry the wrong person, not your family. I'm 26 now too and I'm still so glad I rejected that man that my family wanted me to marry. I found out more negative stuff about him later on too. Also remember that being able to choose a husband is a blessing that not all women have, so I suggest you reap the FRUITS of this blessing!
@@Khayran thank you for everyone’s kind words. It’s good to know that I am not alone in this experience. I guess I’m scared to reject the proposal since I don’t TECHNICALLY have a good reason to. He’s religious and a pretty decent guy. I just personally am not into him at all. We don’t connect/vibe and I’m not interested nor am I attracted to him. But I feel my family wouldn’t get my reasoning for rejecting “a good proposal from a good family”
Going through a hard time waiting for a relief from Allah arrahman it has been about a year and half this conflict in my life has startedIn Sha Allah please keep me in your duas sisters
May be that Allah arrahman accepts one of your Dua and grant me the very much needed relief
May Allah bless us all immensly
Aameen aameen yarabbal aalameen
🤲🏾 insh Allah may Allah make ever workout for you sister
@@LoveCisse jazakallah
Aameen aameen yarabbal aalameen
May Allah arrahman bless you and grant all of your duas
In sha Allah have a good day ahead
not me watching this at 15 and never being in a relationship. but i luv nafisa so ill watch any vid she posts
So proud of you sister Allahuma Barik. May Allah bless you with a righteous spouse (when you are ready) who will be the coolness of your eyes. Allahuma Ameen💕
@eemann
May Allah continue to bless you my dear. Jazaka’Allahu khairan for your support of this channel ❤️
Love you sister in islam.
So good how you adressed like dont settle for less than with whom Allah has for you with whom you genuinly feel good
Masha Allah this confirms that I’ve found the one. We’re getting married this year In Shaa Allah 🤲🏾
Istikhara is SO important.
I'm not married but I remember once I had to chose between two fields of studies and I was so lost as to what to chose and what would be better for my future.
I prayed istikhara and wallahi by the time I had finished one of the two options completely left my heart and became unappealing. Never thought of "what if chose that field" again.
SubhanAllah!
salam can you tell me what you said when praying istikhara (if I ghouls chose this field or the other..?) I am in the same situation and I’m lost
@@السلام-غ9ج Assalamu Alikom wa Rahmatu Allah wa Barakatih .. here is a link to a detailed video on how to perform Salat al Istikhara by Sheikh Mufti Menk: ua-cam.com/video/FrO3slC5t5k/v-deo.html .
watch it and may Allah ease your way to the right decision.
Same walahi I just experienced the same thing as you
@@السلام-غ9ج there's an ishtikhara dua which you make and just ask Allah SWT provide me with whatever is better for me
Alhumdulillah yes my hubby is the one MashaAllah ❤
BarakaLlahu feeh on your marriage, just realized, Mashaa'Allah 🎉
Salam sister I'm a Muslimah from Nigeria
Your videos re really educating
I am a recent revert and I had a few long term relationships before. I feel that every relationship taught me so much, and made me grow as a person, develop my ability to understand others, expanded my view of life, and made me grow into becoming a great partner. To be close to a person and going through life together is a great teacher that I’m so grateful for. Listening to this video I think it must be difficult to find the one without any experience. But I greatly respect everyone who waits until marriage and I wish them all to find true love ❤️
Thank you sis and welcome to the ummah
Stay strong and have taqwah and sabr (trust in Allah and patience)any hardship will go away
Be very careful about sharing your past relationships sis with Muslims around you, because if they know certain things, it might be harder for you to have a good name for marriage. Move with a clean slate to make things easier for yourself.💘
May Allah help you understand Islam and strengthen you 🤲
@@sarahb6758 a man who loves her for her will not be bothered by her past relationships. Plus he would find out either way it would be better to be upfront than make someone feel like they were deceived.
This is real!!!
May Allah grant me a man with all these
I came across your UA-cam channel a long time ago and now today I know you got married I am happy for you sister Alhamdulillah. May Allah bless you and protect you. Keep me in your duas
by overprotective the lady means, we wouldn’t let anything scratch you. we wouldn’t let you trip or get hurt. we’re always there for you no matter what.
Unfortunately for some men this means taking away your freedom and your rights which is wrong. Protecting your spouse should guarantee her safety not make her miserable by controling her
@@sab889 yep agreed
may Allah grant us all good spouses and healthy offspring, ameen ya rabb al alameen!
Alhamdullilah first to comment, I lovea your videos sister nafisa.thank you and you are glowing amarya( amarya means new bride in hausa language northern nigeria, but in yoruba its iyawo
Jazaka’Allahu khairan for the compliment
please sisters pray for me to find my partner :D
this Girl is my hero she is not going into things that we didn't want to talk about it she is so beautiful and find husband it was easy for us Muslim women to get a Husband but what is the problem is we don't usually don't love our husbands especially when we get married by arrangement marriage in my culture we use to do that but lately people grow up from that ignorant and then now we have to act like the western countries we meet men through friends and they are all good men before married but when we go into the marriage then we are stuck and we don't no other choices but to accept what we go and it has to work and we have to deal with whatever he comes with even if want to marry again which Muslim men always think about in the first year in your marriage so that is why we are having a lot of
Congratulations on your marriage ya ukhti! May Allah bless you both and keep you together in peace, love and mercy in this world and the hereafter. Ameen ya rabb! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Could you make a video about How Allah is preparing you for marriage? I feel like muslims dont pay attention to this aspect whereas Christians always highlight the fact that there are signs your getting prepared for marriage thru certain signs or development of character and growing maturity. Its dissappointing that muslims dont focus more on this aspect as much as they focus on preparing yourself for marriage which is not the same as Allah preparing you for marriage cuz then you know for sure that you will get married and not get lost in uncertainty, doubts and confusion...
more videos about this topic for people looking, these are so helpful for me as a 20 year old
Such a good lady to bring us the benefit of her knowledge. My husband told me he chose an American not to have issues with experience. I told him I had no choice being 17 and having a very strict father so deal with it!!
May Almighty Allah be with us all by showing us the right path to be followed in every endeavor.
This is really a heart filled lecture, thank you very much .
May Allah SWT bless you.
I wish I could like this video multiple times. May Allah reward you immensely ❤❤
Mashaa Allah tabarakaAllah sister ❤️ JazakaAllahu Khair.......May Allah bless your married life and Grant you goodness in this dunya and JANAH in akhera ❤️
Always ask for guidance from Allah SHT and please listen when Allah send you response whether you like it or not. I met this great guy everything seems perfect but as soon as I ask for guidance we always have a big fight over nothing it happens every time I ask for guidance so I have decided to let it go and submit to Allah’s plan even tho it’s painful. I pray Allah gives us sabr.Thank you for this video 🙏🏽
May Allah make it easy for you sis. May Allah bless u with an amazing husband, your special pair who loves and protects you so much.ameen 💘
Is our beloved sister Nafisa married??
Wauw elhamdulillah, i’m sooo happpy for you honeybee ❤️
Nafisa, you look more beautiful every time I watch your video. Masha'Allah!!
I got a marriage proposal recently and the guy and his family are good. They are willing to listen to everything I say and my family really wants me to get married there. But I am not really attracted to that guy and I feel like I should not say no cuz this might be the only good proposal I'll ever get so I am doing istikhara. I feel like if I marry him it'll only be because my family thinks he is only good shot I'll have .
Depends how old you are
@@khanhamid3744 19 ½
@@qura-tul-ainazhar3364 yeah you have plenty of time. So don't rush into into
Thank you so much Nafisa, for this wonderful information! Throughout this marriage process, it’s felt like I have to settle, but I know not to do so. You video has helped reinforce that.
This is the most valuable information I have come across regarding a partner. Thank you so much and May Allah reward you with goodness
I miss watching your videos so much! I have an older account and I was subscribed and I was watching your videos during Ramadan two years ago. My mother died a few months later and…I was not able to focus on anything. I went through a very difficult time in my life, to put it simply. This Ramadan, I wanted to go back to that and your name kept clicking in my head all day yesterday and, without effort, I kid you not, your videos were in my suggestions. So, here I am, on your channel. Thank you so much for your wisdom and love ✨
BarakAllahu feeki ukhti for such a beneficial video! One point that I'd like to point is regarding the ayah displayed in the begining overlapping with humming, why not have a recite reciting the ayah? It is be more impactful that way. ♥️ plus will not disrespect the ayah displayed 🌹
I found your video in my UA-cam suggestions and I'm not even surprised by what I just heard: how many times have I done the salaat istikhara and douaas for this man and how positive the signs have been for me. We have the same projects, personalities that complement each other and the same vision of life. The only problem is that we live in 2 different countries, he intends to come to my country next summer but in the meantime it's a relationship that is haram even if we are not in a couple anyway thank you for your video 💕
I'm on this train with you. May Allah make it easy for us
This really came in at the right time, I checked your channel this morning to confirm maybe am not being updated anymore and immediately I saw the notification popped, my mind was calm and relaxed and watching this made me fulfilled.
BarokaLlah fii yah ukhty💖
Thank you dear for coming back. May Allah continue to guide us all 🤲🏾
Same here
Am not even planning to marry anytime soon but i watched the whole vid coz she's so good to listen to
She’s amazing. What she says is so on point and she gives a thorough explanation. Plus, her voice AND tone of voice is a major bonus!
Salam aleykum sister, this video was so so so great. May Allah reward you immensely for the work you have put into this.
Can you create a video explaining everything a convert woman needs to know? I am converting (I come from non Muslim non religious family) and I’m being courted for marriage currently by Muslim man… I have been reading the Quran for months but as far as culture I have no idea if anything. I just how to pray, I didn’t know hygiene practices that are required, I didn’t know about other things I must do daily outside of 5 daily prayers such as bathroom routines, etc. I don’t know the Islamic holidays. Can you please do a video for converts explaining what we may need to know😭
All good talking points. I would add 1 important thing I think the sister missed, when it comes to sisters determining if the guy is the one for them or not. Envision the guy as the leader of your kids and YOURSELF, and assess the level of discomfort and/or opposition you feel within yourself. If that's high, then he is not the one.
MashaAllah, May Allah make it easy for you
Very true, i'm stuck in this now and it so troubling lifestyle needs be iin alingment
Thanks nafeesa, you really did a good job addressing this.May the Almighty bless you abundantly. Amiin
Ameen and May Allah bless you for seeking nearness to him.
I accepting your idea and how can get good wife for allaha? I need to change one place to other place incase of realy for live worshiped only allaha ways with the wife respect evrything and to do with me for allaha.
He shows me all the good signs that I need to believe that his ready for the relationship but unfortunately he changed for no reason after I fall in love with him... I'm still struggling with his love in my heart 😢
Thank you for sharing your knowledge sister, Ma Sha Allah you are wise and I learned a lot. I’ll definitely work on myself. I have also heard that you should try to be someone who’d you want to attract for example if you want a religious and pious husband then you should try to be like that before marriage. If you want to attract a fit/healthy man then you should be fit and workout to attract a man like that.
This came at the right time 💝!!!
Jazakuallahu khairan for posting this sister. Alhamdulilah so there’s not a video of yours that I have watched that i have not found beneficial. Everytime it feels like you are speaking directly to me, may Allah accept and reward you for efforts in educating us and May it weigh heavy on your scale of goods on the day of judgement.
Ameen. Waiyakum
Ma shaa Allah, right on time: I surely needed this! Jazakallah khairan sis!
Alhamdulilah
Masha allah Masha allah
tan waa tii boqolka halaad laga biixinn jiray
That’s what we say when we see a girl like you
Very smart beautiful and with Deen. Your husband is a very lucky man good luck to you guys
Miyay fahmaysaa somaliga horta 😂 ?
Taking notes 📝 💅✍️
Anyway I gave up to married a man because I never find good one I just want to worship Allah who ever wants to married good luck
Mashallah nafisa! Im so happy and Glad That you posted this! I needed this ! Sooo Much Subhanallah. Allah Send me you as a sign ❤️ may Allah bless you and everyone who is watching. May Allah enrich us⭐️⭐️
May my husband to be give me peace en happiness me as well be a woman that will give him peace en happiness Insha'Allah
Thank you so much for this video was very beneficial, I would have to rewatch it again...
I pray that Allah subhana wata'ala give us the best of the best in this earth and hereafter... Amiin
Jazakumullahu Khairan for sharing sis.
I really found this video very beneficial.
MashAllah this lady speaks sense.
Mashallah sister, the way you explained it was soo beautiful
Jazaka’Allahu khairan
Very deep and full of lots of lessons, jazakumullahu kharean kazeeran sis
Your video is very helpful alhamdhulillah. Can you plz make a video of difference between healthy protection and unhealthy protection from a men
SubhanaAllah!!!! Sis thank you so much for such amazing videos your always sharing with us such beautiful beneficial knowledge Ma shaa Allah TabarakAllah beautiful advice Sis🤲🏾🤲🏾❤️🌹
I met the one I want to marry and from the beginning I knew that my family might 99% refuse because of the colour of the guys family and I told him and because of family ranking or something like that and to be honest my family refused because he comes from almost a black family although he's a good man,1 year passed and we will try again إن شاء الله
I hope everything goes well!
May Allah help you Insha Allah
may الله make it easy the proohet (ﷺ) said an black person is not better white person but only in piety if youre parent are really true muslim following the prophet(ﷺ) should take in consideration.
that you dont judge a person by their color or race my الله ease for you make tahajjud prayer my sister dont loose hope
Assalamualaikum, how are you sis now ?
@@wearealive796 و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته
Nothing's new but I'm good الحمدلله
MashaAllah an amazing video, JazakAllah Khair!
he's rich, my cousin, and he seems nice, his istakarah was positive but mine came out negative many times. I have ongoing mental illness and I'm only 18, plus I'm not attracted to him, am I making a mistake by thinking of saying no? Everyone is telling me I'm making a big mistake
You are not making a mistake
Congratulations on your marriage 💙💙🙏🏽 may Allah bless your union
Sister Nafisa, thank you for sharing this .. May Allah bless you with His grace 💙
Assalamu alaikum sister..
And Congratulations sister for your marriage.. May Allah give barakah in your married life.
Pray for me so that I can also find my right one.
Astaghfirullah hal 'azim al lazi laa ilaha illa huwal hayyul qayyum wa atubu ilaih
“Our Lord! Grant unto us spouses and offspring who will be the coolness of our eyes.” (25:74), ameen
Masha'Allah
Congratulations. Subhanallah so well said !!! Shukhran
There is no other half… because you are already whole and complete. ❤ There will be nobody that will complete you, but God. ❤Your husband/partner is a bonus or a gift to furthermore complete yourself. ❤