Interesting. I think I was a Fearful who married a Secure which explains why I confused some of my past relationships. Now, I'm so happy and at ease with my husband. We share everything without being overwhelmed by the other person. :)
Why when it comes to attachment do we always talk about romantic partners and not friendships? :) Just wondering: I think advice regarding friendships would be very useful too! Thanks for your video. 🙏🏼
I love to hard and get hurt,so therefore I'm not worrying about relationships, just want to continue to love myself and live a fulfilling life by myself.
I wish everyone would stop saying fearful avoidants are so rare…we exist and it’s hell being us. Hearing that it’s so rare makes us feel even more alone and also dismissed because “it’s rare so it’s unlikely you’re one of them” how the hell would you know? Have you monitored and surveyed the entire population? No. You haven’t
Idk why but I may have the fearful attachment lol although I thought I may have the avoidant one instead Edit: turns out I have a secure attachment style lol what 😮🤔
Seriously though the pattern makes sense. You have a bad relationship with your family, which determined your initial attachment style as a child. Hence you avoid your family. Because you managed your expectations. You found friends which you feel more connected to. And for a romantic relationship you'll struggle. You want a deep connection but feel misunderstood and are uncomfortable with just being loved for who you are maybe. Yet when you actually are in love yourself it's so rare and special to you that you're scared shitless to lose him
Avoidant here, who has grown more secure through introspection, education, spiritual growth, wisdom and a relationship with Christ. Currently in a relationship with another, less self aware and improved, Avoidant, who is eight years older than I. It’s not easy; I actually thought I might be an Anxious, but believe it is only due to being with an Avoidant who is so much more of an Avoidant than I am! Lol. I get him though, because, in addition to being the same attachment type, we have very similar personality types. I like my space, so don’t mind that he gives me so much by default… and, it’s easier to give him the space that he needs, because I need it too, so I understand it. Our struggle is how to advance our relationship when we are both happy to be by ourselves! Lol
Think i'm definitely Anxious Attachment...When i fall in love it's like finding a unicorn that farts glitter and shits rainbows....No wonder i'm always so terrified to lose them...Inevitably out of paranoia and sheer doubt of her sincerity, i'll do or say something that irretreavably shatters everything, successfully sabotaging so I can tell myself I was right all along...She didn't really love and accept me...she was just another fantasist....Now i'm realizing it's me that's the fantasist.
I Anxious Attached Person with a Avoidant Attached Fiancee how can i change my style to Securely attached style, can you please guide me on that?? Thank you 😊
You do not want to be the last one. You will discover that you never really have a foundation. It is the source of that inner fear, that inner emptiness, that inner insanity which tears you apart into pieces. It's that gap that you will eventually realise that comes from the grey memories. It's just something you have never experienced before, yet still long for. But nothing is too late. It will always be possible to liberate it, in any moment you are still living.
I am Avoidant attachment. May I learn to heal my ego and be secure in the love of myself. "... Savage for a savage leaves the whole world in savagery... " "... Isolation begets more isolation... "
I took the quizzed based off of how I was and felt when my husband and I were first married .. I was in a secure attachment style.. however, when I took the quiz based off how I now feel in our marriage I am in a dismissive attachment style.. now that im in this attachment style I fear that I may not go back to being in a secure attachment style again.. because of how he has hurt me and the mis trust he has caused .. or will I be able to go back and be in a secure attachment style with some self work and healing?
Please this has nothing to do with her great video I am thoroughly confused. When I am barely communicating with a guy in a new relationship if the communication is few and far in between and very sparse, that tends to make me anxious personally I don’t think that’s a bad thing if a guy is really into me I won’t have to force him to communicate with me I won’t be confused.. I can’t change him so I move on
does it make sense that maybe before I had an avoidant style but now I think I'm secure edit:ohh I got it , is the same that she says at the end of the video
I am an Anxious Attached Person with an Anxious Attached husband :( how can I change my style to Securely attached style, can you please guide me on that?? Thank you 😊
I think I’m the anxious type. But when I really really like people it scares me and I’m also really scared that I will annoy them so I often don’t initiate anything but think about them constantly. I don’t know how to act so I create a secure attachement to these people. Is that typical for the anxious type and do you have any tipps?
@Kakashi Hatake I am Ambivalent or Anxious Attached Person with a Avoidant Attached Fiancee how can i change my style to Securely attached style, can you please guide me on that?? Thank you 😊
Find out more in our full article on this topic:
www.scienceofpeople.com/attachment-styles/
Interesting. I think I was a Fearful who married a Secure which explains why I confused some of my past relationships. Now, I'm so happy and at ease with my husband. We share everything without being overwhelmed by the other person. :)
Why when it comes to attachment do we always talk about romantic partners and not friendships? :) Just wondering: I think advice regarding friendships would be very useful too! Thanks for your video. 🙏🏼
All relationship and remember their attachment style will influence us and vice versa
Yes!!! This would be incredibly helpful!
I'm actually a little of all 4. I guess I need serious help. Lol
That’s disorganized/Fearful Avoidant. I’m that as well 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙅🏻♀️
I love to hard and get hurt,so therefore I'm not worrying about relationships, just want to continue to love myself and live a fulfilling life by myself.
I wish everyone would stop saying fearful avoidants are so rare…we exist and it’s hell being us. Hearing that it’s so rare makes us feel even more alone and also dismissed because “it’s rare so it’s unlikely you’re one of them” how the hell would you know? Have you monitored and surveyed the entire population? No. You haven’t
I haven't seen your videos in awhile. Good to see you're still amazing as ever Vanessa!
Your way of speaking is beautiful
Idk why but I may have the fearful attachment lol although I thought I may have the avoidant one instead
Edit: turns out I have a secure attachment style lol what 😮🤔
I’m secure in my friendships, avoidant with my family, and anxious in love. Is that normal?
Same here 😀
Does it sound normal to you? :)
Seriously though the pattern makes sense. You have a bad relationship with your family, which determined your initial attachment style as a child. Hence you avoid your family. Because you managed your expectations.
You found friends which you feel more connected to.
And for a romantic relationship you'll struggle. You want a deep connection but feel misunderstood and are uncomfortable with just being loved for who you are maybe. Yet when you actually are in love yourself it's so rare and special to you that you're scared shitless to lose him
@@fsfbart 😳😳😳you’re right
Samee
I’m definitely fearful
This information was very useful, and the quiz! The answer "surprised" me at first but I've realized is really accurate. Thank you so much
Where is the quiz?
Avoidant here, who has grown more secure through introspection, education, spiritual growth, wisdom and a relationship with Christ. Currently in a relationship with another, less self aware and improved, Avoidant, who is eight years older than I. It’s not easy; I actually thought I might be an Anxious, but believe it is only due to being with an Avoidant who is so much more of an Avoidant than I am! Lol. I get him though, because, in addition to being the same attachment type, we have very similar personality types. I like my space, so don’t mind that he gives me so much by default… and, it’s easier to give him the space that he needs, because I need it too, so I understand it. Our struggle is how to advance our relationship when we are both happy to be by ourselves! Lol
Great video. I recommend you Personal development school channel for all of this info.
Think i'm definitely Anxious Attachment...When i fall in love it's like finding a unicorn that farts glitter and shits rainbows....No wonder i'm always so terrified to lose them...Inevitably out of paranoia and sheer doubt of her sincerity, i'll do or say something that irretreavably shatters everything, successfully sabotaging so I can tell myself I was right all along...She didn't really love and accept me...she was just another fantasist....Now i'm realizing it's me that's the fantasist.
is it possible for someone to be avoidant at the beginning of the relationship and transition to an anxious one later in the relationship?
Yes.
I Anxious Attached Person with a Avoidant Attached Fiancee how can i change my style to Securely attached style, can you please guide me on that?? Thank you 😊
Definitely fearful attachment style
You do not want to be the last one. You will discover that you never really have a foundation. It is the source of that inner fear, that inner emptiness, that inner insanity which tears you apart into pieces. It's that gap that you will eventually realise that comes from the grey memories. It's just something you have never experienced before, yet still long for.
But nothing is too late. It will always be possible to liberate it, in any moment you are still living.
Anxious 🙈
Secure style attachment!
I guess i am normal after all!
Ohh it’s her! I am reading her book yesss Captivate!
I guess I have fearful attachment. But I will take the test to confirm the result.
Damn. Thought I was anxious, but now I think I'm fearful
Lol the ad that shows up for this is also about attachment theory
Surely there must be a reason why you didn't post the link in the description area.
Can we change our attachment style?
I'm like a mix of Avoidant and Fearful, but then also the fantasising from Anxious. Guess I need help too haha
Same
To be honest guys my attachment style is 4th one I corelate more with it
I've token these quizzes many times, they always say the same thing. I feel like I'm avoident but apparently I'm secure.
Gracias
You're welcome!
May Allah always be with you
I am Avoidant attachment. May I learn to heal my ego and be secure in the love of myself. "... Savage for a savage leaves the whole world in savagery... " "... Isolation begets more isolation... "
I took the quizzed based off of how I was and felt when my husband and I were first married .. I was in a secure attachment style.. however, when I took the quiz based off how I now feel in our marriage I am in a dismissive attachment style..
now that im in this attachment style I fear that I may not go back to being in a secure attachment style again.. because of how he has hurt me and the mis trust he has caused .. or will I be able to go back and be in a secure attachment style with some self work and healing?
I think it's definitely possible with some work and healing, and being in a healthy relationship ❤
I’m anxious type, my ex is avoidant type. Probably that’s why it doesn’t work
That was very beneficial
Thank you..beautifull information❤
I have fearful attachment but the quiz saying I have avoidant attachment style. So confusing 😑
Only 20%?! Didnt know I was a minority
Mine came out ss mainly dismissive but this wasn't covered in the video.....
Please this has nothing to do with her great video I am thoroughly confused. When I am barely communicating with a guy in a new relationship if the communication is few and far in between and very sparse, that tends to make me anxious personally I don’t think that’s a bad thing if a guy is really into me I won’t have to force him to communicate with me I won’t be confused.. I can’t change him so I move on
Is it possible to be all 4
does it make sense that maybe before I had an avoidant style but now I think I'm secure
edit:ohh I got it , is the same that she says at the end of the video
Damn I'm mixted of 4 but more 3 first
As an Avoidant (20%), I don't think I've ever met an Anxious (20%).
Imagine having someone to attach to
I am an Anxious Attached Person with an Anxious Attached husband :( how can I change my style to Securely attached style, can you please guide me on that?? Thank you 😊
I actually can act all 4 with diff person . But i have 1 more than others
I have the 4 of them 😨
Can you be more than one 🤔🤔
Everything is on a spectrum you can have an almost equal percentage in some, and less in some.
Is it weird that i have a different style dependent upon the woman i'm in a relationship with?
That is possible! A lot of us can be a mix of different attachments styles too.
I think I’m the anxious type. But when I really really like people it scares me and I’m also really scared that I will annoy them so I often don’t initiate anything but think about them constantly. I don’t know how to act so I create a secure attachement to these people. Is that typical for the anxious type and do you have any tipps?
I meant how to act “TO” create a secure attachment (not so I… language..)
I m clingy guy i want to remove this habit how can i do
But I want avoidant attachment partner, I don't know why.
You are right.
@Kakashi Hatake what if a Avoidant Woman seeks a Anxious Man.?
@Kakashi Hatake thank you 😊 sooooo much that's a really very good peice of advice.
@Kakashi Hatake I am Ambivalent or Anxious Attached Person with a Avoidant Attached Fiancee how can i change my style to Securely attached style, can you please guide me on that?? Thank you 😊
@Kakashi Hatake i am already in at Craig's channel will search for Kati, anyways thanks again for reverting and understanding me. Thank you 😊
You did them In wrong order, can't finish the video cause of that.
LoL I'm fearful attachment 😄
We are all fucked.
Yep, no one time and time again
I took several different quizzes and none of them matched up- this is BS
Jokes on you I haven't dated anyone.