To improve: 1) For every person that you meet ask yourself how are they feeling broadening your feeling vocabulary, check posture face 2) Get another person's perspective what they want goals, their plans & intentions 3) Learn new adjectives to describe other people. See resources on video description.
Interesting comment about Jane Austen. My daughter struggled socially all through school so books became her friend. By the time college rolled around she said she was ready because, her words, she had already encountered a multitude of situations and outcomes from the books she read. Incidentally, Jane Austen was a favorite.
Very helpful. One interesting aspect of it? When I tested my own cognitive complexity using the guidelines, I used all positive adjectives for a liked person, and a mixture of positive and negative adjectives for a disliked person. This shows me there isn’t much separating the liked from the disliked which means I can apply more tolerance around people I dislike.
Even Shakespeare recognized that brevity was the soul of wit. And he was one of the most cognitively complex communicators who ever lived. Being verbose does not necessarily increase one's accuracy or grace as a communicator.
Agreed. When someone else will be reading your work, it's best to use the fewest, most precise words to accurately describe what you mean. For an exercise like this, it's best to describe as many distinct personality traits as you can recognize.
But I think that is precisely the point here. In our minds we must paint a vividly complex picture of the inner world of the person in front of us. With others it is best to be overtly brief, of course. But the more complexity we ascribe to a person, the more our messages will be subconsciously conveyed with the nuance and accuracy their complex human experience deserves.
Unbelievably helpful concepts to learn. This stuff is gold- wish I could have learned about it much earlier. Thank you for publishing this high level content broken down for less sophisticated ppl like me to understand… I don’t have to recreate the “communication wheel”!
Such good stuff!! These talks provide opportunities to increase our skills for interacting in our social worlds. Wish these kinds of skills would be taught starting in kindergarten.
Amazing insightful and helpful! I feel like there is an opportunity here for an additional video to expand how to implement these theories in our own lives. I'll be reading Fromm and Rommel. Both this talk and your other talk about Face threatening acts transformed my year 2023. Thanks Bruce! 🙏😇
Enjoy your videos. You have verygood co!munication skills. Friendly manner, Positive,direct, straight to the point, common sense remarks and good examples which people can relate to. You don"t waste words. Well done Mr Lambert!! 👍
My appreciation💙 Would you please make a video about the topic no one did in my experience...the elegant speed of talking when communicating. What I observed the last years in almost 85% of conversations and presentations in social media is like a speed talking contest...
I would think the speed with which he is presenting here in his videos would be pretty much ideal, since communication is his thing. People speaking more quickly are easier to understand, in short. Attention can track more easily. In teacher training (I was an English teacher), we were taught that the brain thinks 16 times faster than people normally speak. Therefore, to keep the attention of listeners (in our case, students) and help them follow what we were saying, we needed to talk faster, not slower. This need for speed to hold attention is particularly true for people with ADHD, a population which is expanding rapidly. Dramatic pauses and slow speech (such as in talks by theologian Theodore Nottingham, at least his older material) can cause people's minds to go wandering several times before the end of the sentence. By the end of some of his sentences, I literally can't retrieve the entire sentence make sense of what the point was - no matter how much I love his ideas. For him, I set the playback speed to 1.25 or even 1.5 instead of 1. But for most ordinary speakers, listeners who grew up in the South (like me) have to train our brains to attend to the faster pacing used in the rest of the country. It can be done. Occasionally, one will hear a speaker ripping through her presentation like her house is on fire, and that is too fast, yes. In which case we can set the playback speed to .75. (I am using "Enhancer for UA-cam" add on in Firefox and can't remember if it is that which gives me playback speed control or if playback speed control is available to everyone on YT.) Hope this helps!
@@falconbritt5461 Thank you for sharing this..I was thinking about the connection of the heart beat and the speed of talking and even thinking...those are all frequencies and one need maybe some balance.. The connection speed , evaluation and imagination..that's worth thinking too.. ..
"We're not all created equal." Thank you for saying the truth that dare not speak its name. Despite time and again trying to self improve, I fear my poor genetics and upbringing has doomed me to a life of introversion, alienation, and solitude. I appreciate what you're trying to do but I'm not sure I can really benefit. I'm defective, worthless, broken, and I wish I was never born.
If you watched this video atleast you are trying to improve just like me , I might be on a different level than you with communication but I’m trying to improve
We’re not all created equal in the sense of natural talents and abilities. We ARE all created equal in the sense of intrinsic value because we are all created in the image of God, who is infinitely valuable. In that sense, you’re as valuable as the most effective, skilled, whole, healthy, and life-loving person in the world. This is not just a froo-froo, feel-good idea, it’s the factual foundation of justice, human rights, and a fair society. You are worth more than what you have to offer.
The issue is that I'm painfully awkward. I'm also self-conscious when being around people. When I try to talk to people, I get tense inside - they become so uncomfortable around me. I want to overcome this.
For the question you asked in the end, the first person I thought of is my son. He often sees right through me. He seems to have high cognitive complexity.
This video makes a lot of sense and is very useful information... Could you imagine for a minute to have to develop these skills in your second language in a culture different to yours. Welcome to my world.
I'm from Chile. I moved to Australia 3 years ago and yeah Latin-American culture vs Australian/English is not easy. But I'm lucky enough to be a Speech Pathologist so I'm using all I have to make this process less stressful. Once again thanks Bruce for making these videos, they gave me perspective.
@@Eduardonico I think the new language and culture will be a challenge, but I think the underlying social perception skills, what I call cognitive complexity, will translate across languages. You may have to learn new vocabulary, but you already have the ability to perceive certain dimensions in people and social situations. And that will stay with you and serve you across cultures.
I have a visual impairment, 6/60 vision. And I'm placed in two worlds. Sighted and non sighted. I have so many weird awkward moments like starting at someone I can't see. Or mistaken identity of napkins as someone's phone when parting. I have to work of fake it or make it solutions myself. And find this content handy. However my approach is a bit rough and ready. Any tips or potential resources I'd benefit from.
I don’t consider it cheating if I pull in words from a few other languages, but is using any TV wrestling terminology going to give me negative points?
Have many ways to describe social situations. Create many map of social world Find how people are feeling and use different worlds to describe their situation Find out people's intention, goal of the communication and life as well
when we watch movie after that we talk to people or friends(not close friends) they get impressed so much, even we get confused Is it really me... How that work anyway Good video.
Describing your apartment in a way that the listener can understand is actually hard, though. Not a lot of listeners can actually build a mental map based on your virtual "to the left we have" tour, so if you want to really do it you should try to use references that the listener is already familiar with.
Communication is significantly more valued than competence......therefore being able to talk your way out of responsibility or consequences of incompetence is definitely a "skill" for success in our culture ... when people attempt to do that and you call them on it, you are labelled "difficult" .. it makes them uncomfortable as they are exposed and their position /status is now threatened .... not saying communication is not important , just way over valued and results in the elevation of mediocrity to something that it is not in reality ....
Surprisingly, as long as you don’t have a thesaurus, you won’t be able to cheat. You can’t cheat at the high jump just because you know the point is to jump as high as possible. Same thing here. You only know a certain number of descriptive adjectives. So when you take the test, you will be limited by your own intrinsic cognitive complexity
To improve: 1) For every person that you meet ask yourself how are they feeling broadening your feeling vocabulary, check posture face 2) Get another person's perspective what they want goals, their plans & intentions 3) Learn new adjectives to describe other people. See resources on video description.
Interesting comment about Jane Austen. My daughter struggled socially all through school so books became her friend. By the time college rolled around she said she was ready because, her words, she had already encountered a multitude of situations and outcomes from the books she read. Incidentally, Jane Austen was a favorite.
Very helpful. One interesting aspect of it? When I tested my own cognitive complexity using the guidelines, I used all positive adjectives for a liked person, and a mixture of positive and negative adjectives for a disliked person. This shows me there isn’t much separating the liked from the disliked which means I can apply more tolerance around people I dislike.
Even Shakespeare recognized that brevity was the soul of wit. And he was one of the most cognitively complex communicators who ever lived. Being verbose does not necessarily increase one's accuracy or grace as a communicator.
Agreed. When someone else will be reading your work, it's best to use the fewest, most precise words to accurately describe what you mean. For an exercise like this, it's best to describe as many distinct personality traits as you can recognize.
But I think that is precisely the point here. In our minds we must paint a vividly complex picture of the inner world of the person in front of us. With others it is best to be overtly brief, of course. But the more complexity we ascribe to a person, the more our messages will be subconsciously conveyed with the nuance and accuracy their complex human experience deserves.
Another excellent video. Your points on cognitive complexity is outstanding, some fantastic points to learn from
Unbelievably helpful concepts to learn. This stuff is gold- wish I could have learned about it much earlier. Thank you for publishing this high level content broken down for less sophisticated ppl like me to understand… I don’t have to recreate the “communication wheel”!
Such good stuff!! These talks provide opportunities to increase our skills for interacting in our social worlds. Wish these kinds of skills would be taught starting in kindergarten.
Amazing insightful and helpful! I feel like there is an opportunity here for an additional video to expand how to implement these theories in our own lives. I'll be reading Fromm and Rommel. Both this talk and your other talk about Face threatening acts transformed my year 2023. Thanks Bruce! 🙏😇
So helpful and practical tips to use in the real world. Can’t wait to do the homework to improve my skills. :)
Enjoy your videos. You have verygood co!munication skills. Friendly manner, Positive,direct, straight to the point, common sense remarks and good examples which people can relate to.
You don"t waste words.
Well done Mr Lambert!!
👍
Thank you Mary.
My appreciation💙
Would you please make a video about the topic no one did in my experience...the elegant speed of talking when communicating.
What I observed the last years in almost 85% of conversations and presentations in social media is like a speed talking contest...
I would think the speed with which he is presenting here in his videos would be pretty much ideal, since communication is his thing.
People speaking more quickly are easier to understand, in short. Attention can track more easily. In teacher training (I was an English teacher), we were taught that the brain thinks 16 times faster than people normally speak. Therefore, to keep the attention of listeners (in our case, students) and help them follow what we were saying, we needed to talk faster, not slower. This need for speed to hold attention is particularly true for people with ADHD, a population which is expanding rapidly.
Dramatic pauses and slow speech (such as in talks by theologian Theodore Nottingham, at least his older material) can cause people's minds to go wandering several times before the end of the sentence. By the end of some of his sentences, I literally can't retrieve the entire sentence make sense of what the point was - no matter how much I love his ideas. For him, I set the playback speed to 1.25 or even 1.5 instead of 1. But for most ordinary speakers, listeners who grew up in the South (like me) have to train our brains to attend to the faster pacing used in the rest of the country. It can be done.
Occasionally, one will hear a speaker ripping through her presentation like her house is on fire, and that is too fast, yes. In which case we can set the playback speed to .75. (I am using "Enhancer for UA-cam" add on in Firefox and can't remember if it is that which gives me playback speed control or if playback speed control is available to everyone on YT.) Hope this helps!
@@falconbritt5461 Thank you for sharing this..I was thinking about the connection of the heart beat and the speed of talking and even thinking...those are all frequencies and one need maybe some balance..
The connection speed , evaluation and imagination..that's worth thinking too..
..
"We're not all created equal." Thank you for saying the truth that dare not speak its name. Despite time and again trying to self improve, I fear my poor genetics and upbringing has doomed me to a life of introversion, alienation, and solitude. I appreciate what you're trying to do but I'm not sure I can really benefit. I'm defective, worthless, broken, and I wish I was never born.
I don't believe any of that is true. But I am sorry you are suffering.
If you watched this video atleast you are trying to improve just like me , I might be on a different level than you with communication but I’m trying to improve
We’re not all created equal in the sense of natural talents and abilities. We ARE all created equal in the sense of intrinsic value because we are all created in the image of God, who is infinitely valuable. In that sense, you’re as valuable as the most effective, skilled, whole, healthy, and life-loving person in the world. This is not just a froo-froo, feel-good idea, it’s the factual foundation of justice, human rights, and a fair society. You are worth more than what you have to offer.
The issue is that I'm painfully awkward. I'm also self-conscious when being around people. When I try to talk to people, I get tense inside - they become so uncomfortable around me. I want to overcome this.
Same here, I get tense, people see it and feel it. I babble and show nervousness. It's so awkward I wanna die
I worry that I have to be blunt and I’m sounding rude to get my point across, but really I’m a nice guy
For the question you asked in the end, the first person I thought of is my son. He often sees right through me. He seems to have high cognitive complexity.
I had an ex girlfriend that had high cognitive complexity, had a good way of digging up the truth
Thank you Sir for your videos. Your videos are really fantastic backed by research and facts. Please keep uploading more videos.
You’re very kind to say so, Vikas. Is there a specific topic you’d like to learn more about?
@@HowCommunicationWorks Yes sir, it would be great if you can make video on how to organise our thoughts while speaking. For any situations.
This video makes a lot of sense and is very useful information... Could you imagine for a minute to have to develop these skills in your second language in a culture different to yours. Welcome to my world.
It must be a tremendous challenge. I admire you for taking it on. What is your native language and culture, Edo?
I'm from Chile. I moved to Australia 3 years ago and yeah Latin-American culture vs Australian/English is not easy. But I'm lucky enough to be a Speech Pathologist so I'm using all I have to make this process less stressful. Once again thanks Bruce for making these videos, they gave me perspective.
@@Eduardonico I think the new language and culture will be a challenge, but I think the underlying social perception skills, what I call cognitive complexity, will translate across languages. You may have to learn new vocabulary, but you already have the ability to perceive certain dimensions in people and social situations. And that will stay with you and serve you across cultures.
@@Eduardonico Hey, how is your English coming around these days?
@@Eduardonico Are you still around, Leon? (Me gustaría preguntarle algo).
Very helpful information. I wish his list of adjectives was still available 😊.
I’ll try to post a better link.
Thank you! I will put some Jane Austin books on my shopping list
Really useful video!
I really appreciate you and I am going to improve my social skills, I really need help 911
Best said on social skills❤️🌹
Thank you Bruce.
Amazing!
thank you for this quality content!
What a great video! Thank you.
Thank you. Dr. Alex Lyon recommended your channel.
Alex is great! Thanks for coming over.
Excellent video. Thank you!
Thanks Liz.
The list link is no longer available, page not found 😢 can you re upload it please ?
Thank you so much. Your videos are amazing ☺️ love to listening to you
So nice of you
love your videos
Then you very much.
I have a visual impairment, 6/60 vision. And I'm placed in two worlds. Sighted and non sighted. I have so many weird awkward moments like starting at someone I can't see. Or mistaken identity of napkins as someone's phone when parting. I have to work of fake it or make it solutions myself. And find this content handy. However my approach is a bit rough and ready. Any tips or potential resources I'd benefit from.
This is gold
Interesting you should mention Jane Austen. She's a favorite writer and storyteller of mine!
this is awesome, do you have a lecture series on UA-cam related to the topic of communication?
Yes my whole channel, plus my website, HowCommunicationWorks.com, plus my tiktok channel (also HowCommunicationWorks).
I don’t consider it cheating if I pull in words from a few other languages, but is using any TV wrestling terminology going to give me negative points?
The link for the emotional words and feelings in the description is broken
GREAT VIDEOS!! How do you re-do
a relationship, when one makes a BAD mistake!?
If someone asked me to describe my house Id say its bright, and spacious... my mind works differently I guess
Have many ways to describe social situations.
Create many map of social world
Find how people are feeling and use different worlds to describe their situation
Find out people's intention, goal of the communication and life as well
when we watch movie after that
we talk to people or friends(not close friends) they get impressed so much, even we get confused Is it really me... How that work anyway
Good video.
The list of emotion words is a broken link. Please repost a good link?
Thanks I’ll try.
Sir how these dimensions will help us develop our communication skills
By deepening your understanding of other people, thereby allowing you to adapt your messages to them more effectively.
The link to the list of emotions in the description is broken ⚠Page Not Found pops up.
Thanks, I’ll try to find a better link but that resource might be off the web. If you Google lists of emotion words you can find lots of others.
Like that!
I cannot find the link to the cognitive complexity test...
Hmmm. Google “candor toolkit” and look for the communication skills assessment.
Hey I think the link for pdf emotion doesnnt work anyore
I’ll see if I can fix it thx.
page not found
I see many introverts watching this, including me. Hi!
please keep slowelly speaking i am not native english language your falower😂❤
A time someone saw right through me: my wife, almost everyday 😅
Describing your apartment in a way that the listener can understand is actually hard, though. Not a lot of listeners can actually build a mental map based on your virtual "to the left we have" tour, so if you want to really do it you should try to use references that the listener is already familiar with.
🙏🙏🙏
💎💎💎
Communication is significantly more valued than competence......therefore being able to talk your way out of responsibility or consequences of incompetence is definitely a "skill" for success in our culture ... when people attempt to do that and you call them on it, you are labelled "difficult" .. it makes them uncomfortable as they are exposed and their position /status is now threatened .... not saying communication is not important , just way over valued and results in the elevation of mediocrity to something that it is not in reality ....
Are you a software dev? If sounds a lot like dev vs manager clash
Wouldn't I cheat if I know what I am expected to do if I do this test? O_o
Surprisingly, as long as you don’t have a thesaurus, you won’t be able to cheat. You can’t cheat at the high jump just because you know the point is to jump as high as possible. Same thing here. You only know a certain number of descriptive adjectives. So when you take the test, you will be limited by your own intrinsic cognitive complexity
My communication varies based on my mood
good theory, bad tecnique
Halfway through this blather-fest, not one single useful tip.
your video is too dense, sorry.
💎💎💎