Right, because she's quoting "studies" and not the DSM and she's using "sociopath" and "psychopath" interchangeably in a time when the public is fascinated psychopathology. And all this, including writing a book about herself and arranging speaking engagements about the book about herself just strikes me as manipulative and narcissistic more than anything else. To hear her talk about it, it almost sounds like a self-help book, but it's actually about pointing out how devious the acts are that she's capable of getting away with but chooses not to. It's a hero's journey really, lol.
@@raincadeify You need to rewatch and think about what breaking into houses did for her. She explains she did not get a thrill out of the devious acts. Being in a silent home was peaceful for her.
Agree. I studied psychology at university ( U-Mass Boston ) and one of our seminars was titled "Examining Consciousness". We used literature, fiction and non-fiction, as well as the DSM and standard psych texts to go deep into human consciousness. Some people really are "born bad" and some "born good" which actually just means most are somewhere in between. Conscience within consciousness is the goal we should aspire towards. The woman in this video has a weak conscience, if any at all. Perhaps because she never HAD to develop one. Or, maybe she's just a bad person. It does happen.
I can honestly say that I too have grown up as a Sociopath amongst other "Cluster B" inclusive diagnoses. I also knew I was different from the others, but as a child, I felt like a victim and couldn't understand the "why me" theory. It wasn't until I was a grown adult that I recognized that only I could change my thought process (Of course with guidance from professionals). I'm now 54 and simply being aware that I am a Sociopath, restricts me from sometimes communicating with people in and out of public. I really think having an actual Sociopath who is "aware" that she is a Sociopath can benefit in educating students/patients in personality disorders. I am not a cured person myself, but I 100% can relate to this!
Sociopaths often seek to understand human behavior and patterns, not out of genuine curiosity but as a means to fit in and manipulate others. They struggle to relate to people on an emotional level and may view themselves as superior to their victims, which can lead them to switch between behaviors or emotions with ease to achieve their goals. Anxiety is overcome by getting over or by another person. When this happens a dopamine jolt is given and in a way rewards them. So , because it feels good they keep at it.
Telling that she's pretending understanding what she is is a lack of empathy when what it really is is recognizing what she is and keeping your guard up. These people are wired to manipulate. I'm not saying they don't exist or have to function in society but the reason the self help books are for victims of people like her is because there are so many victims of people like her and self help books for people like her just help them learn to manipulate better.
I agree. This could very well be a narcissistic/ dopamine supply for her ie. look at me talking openly about this intimate edgy topic and making you have lots of understanding and even empathy. What exactly is the end goal here- to destigmatize sociopathic (bad) behaviour? It's the one thing that should not be destigmatized
this literally has been happenng with my oldest friend who lives overseas and is not even from my country or culture. He descended into a true almost imbecility after the new-right rose in western countries. He's brasilian living in europe. So sad and pathetic to see.
A mother who is not capable of feeling any guilt is a recipe for disaster for her kids. So she can make any bad decision when it comes to her kids and no matter what the consequences are of that, she won't feel bad about it. That's horrible.
You underestimate how damaging very emotional mothers can be for their children. She has reasons not to make bad decisions, and she may be doing the mothering job much better than hordes of destructive borderline or even neurotypical parents.
Same. I’ve lived with a sociopathic narcissist for over 20 years and without exaggeration it has completely broken me and ruined my life. My narcissist has been diagnosed with NPD on two occasions by two different mental health professionals. He is successful and well liked in the community but can be incredibly cruel and emotionally abusive at home. My kids have serious trauma from his inability to show empathy and unconditional love. They are both in therapy now. It took many years to realize he was a full fledged sociopath and narcissist as he is a charlatan, a pathological liar and very manipulative. I knew that something was wrong pretty early on, but it has taken years to see the patterns of lying, bullying, passive aggression as narcissists work hard to hide all these behaviors. You don’t see them unless you know to look for them. My narcs mom is also a narcissist who covertly bullied me for years until I broke contract. She thinks of herself as a good Christian but is nothing like a true Christian. She purposely killed her daughter’s bunnies by leaving them in 100 degree heat in a cage for hours. She denied it was intentional but it wasn’t as she talked about how she wanted to get rid of the bunnies just a few days prior. Just pure evil. It’s very isolating to be with a narcissist as they require so much attention and despise any friends you have. I have no friends left. It’s also a bummer that people call everyone a narcissist these days. Very invalidating for people who actually deal with real sociopaths and narcissists.
@Joe-sg9ll I didn't know him when we married. I was very young when we married. A high school grad no college. I now know more about human behavior . Doesn't matter now I'm very sick & dying no desire to learn more.
I fully disagree with her on her explanation about which emotions are natural and which are taught. Jealousy and sadness and empathy are not taught. They are natural and genetic. She thinks they are taught because she thinks they can be learned as she learned them in form of copying other people or mimicking other people because she doesn't feel those emotions.
You give into your bias to prevent your worldview from getting disrupted. You can be just as much or worse than a sociopath yourself. Get off the high horse and learn how there are lots of nuances to science that aren't studied heavily.
Correct, she and someone with NPD can "learn" the appropriate responses but will never actually feel empathy. It is the only treatment we have unfortunately
Cognitive empathy is honestly way better than empathy. Empathy can mislead and trick people. It can make them make dumb decisions based on bias and associating their identity with something that makes them defensive.
I think psychopathic/sociopathic disorders overlap. I had an ex-in law who definitely fit both labels. Interesting that now "the professionals" are trying to relabel mental illness, just like society is relabeling everything else. Surprisingly, she chuckles when describing her crimes. Very disconcerting.
No one cares if she chuckles when describing her crimes your talking to someone that’s sociopathic, it’s a memory if it was funny to her it was funny to her simple as that.
Never trust a thief. This lady describes how being a thief made her feel better about herself. She uses the diagnosis of "sociopathy" as an excuse. But she's just a common thief. Get thieves out of your life, all of 'em. No pity.
Yep. I also feel that putting these people (?) on a pedestal, all in the name of science..... is disgusting. I think the morbid curiosity of "what makes these kinds of people tick" has gone off the Richter chart. The fact that these people get up and stand in front of people and openly claim themselves as what they are...and that that seems to be okay.... These people affect many people's lives around them. - Devastate the lives of people around them. If nothing else, these people are pathological lies, and that in itself is enough to destroy people around them.
I recommend you learn about mental illness, neuroplasticity and mental illness recovery. Also, she didn't say she stole things to feel better about herself. She said she discovered that she felt more aligned, and calm, being in an exterior environment that matched her internal world, after the jolt of feeling something. She didn't steal anything from those houses. She worked to find that mental balance with a mental health profeseional so that she no longer felt the need to engage in that behaviour. She was explaining behaviour; not excusing it. Even thieves have reasons for stealing. It is antisocial behaviour, so obviously something is abnormal in their brain structure, or brain chemistry. Your capacity to absorb information has evidently been impaired by your pre-existing judgement. Your judgement is based on your feelings, not any data.
Shes seems to be doing better than many other mothers who are afflicted by her condition, and some that arent. I think the operative word here is 'trust' not necessarily 'love'.
Perhaps her emotionally strong Italien husband is her backup strategy here. He is supposed to do the emotional "labor" regarding their kids, so that they have at least one parent they can emotionally connect to and be well cared for. This is all speculation btw. We probably will never know.
My ex was a diagnosed sociopath. He had a vasectomy at age 28 and I think it was very responsible of him. I’m curious why others who know about their condition would choose to have kids.
2 things. 1 - She is talking about DBT, not CBT, for those with personality disorders, this distinction is super important. CBT is talk therapy and doesn’t work for those with borderline, narcissism and sociopathy. DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) often doesn’t work either because often times those with these personality disorders don’t want help, because they don’t inherently recognize their behavior as problematic as this person does. 2 - It’s also interesting that she notes she doesn’t feel shame, guilt or remorse, but then notes her motivations here are to de-stigmatize this condition. So then, what is she feeling, when she is “stigmatized” for her diagnosis and/or behavior, that is strong enough to motivate her to try and effect this societal change in perception? Again she said she doesn’t care what people think. Why take the time to change their perception then? It’s not for her. And it’s not for others because she noted she doesn’t feel altruism. Sociopaths generally get their biggest supply from their ability to manipulate other people and watch the chaos unfold. You have to wonder if this isn’t part of a manipulation to convince people her life and convince others they can change by taking this approach and challenging the science. Obviously I can’t say that with any degree of certainty but it is cause for pause
I am a living example of someone who had CBT for Borderline Personality Disorder, (and C-PTSD, etc.) just before DBT was a thing. So, a long time ago (mid-to late- 1990s). It worked for me. In 2001 I was re:assessed by multiple independent mental health professionals, and I no longer had that diagnosis. My former psychologist, and I, continue to keep in contact as friends. This is why making blanket statements about what will work for a person with a specific diagnosis, and their degree of willingness to engage in treatment and self care, is not realistic. We are all individuals, even if we have the same diagnosis. We don't all have all the symptoms (for example, my psychologist said I was not manipulative), and have different degrees of awareness, motivation, different experiences, etc. It also depends on the degree of capacity to work with a mental health professional. Also, Borderline Personality Disorder has a huge stigma attached to it, and many mental health professionals are hostile and unwilling to work with anyone with that diagnosis. Receptionists hung up on me many times after enquiring about my diagnosis. It is very difficult to find a respectful, intelligent, aware psychologist/ psychiatrist who has sufficient understanding to go the distance with you. It is not always the patient's/ client's fault if they can't find someone to work with. It is also common for trust to be broken due to treatment by hospital psychiatrists, and P.T.S.D. from hospital admissions. Having diagnoses with stigma was a big problem in psych. wards. I hope that is not the case now. Obviously, money for mental health care is also an obstacle. Some people want therapy. Others don't. Others have mixed feelings. We are all individuals.
Also, with your 2nd point. Even if a person doesn't care about what others think about them, stigmatization limits life options, and available services, as I described briefly with my experience of Borderline Personality Disorder. However, she said she had treatment to help her develop social emotions, so other people do matter to her now. After treatment, it would make sense that she would want to help de-stigmatize sociopathy. Neuroplasticity allows for structural and chemical change of the brain, that for some people (such as myself) means that some, or all signs and symptoms of that personality disorder are no longer possible. Having fixed views is not helping you understand. Maybe listen to more people with lived experience of mental illness.
I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder amd cbt helped me, along with years of one to one counselling and support groups for alcoholism. I think you have to research your own condition and really want to change, though. x
Only a psychopath would attempt to justify their destructive behavior. They do not act in a destructive manner because their lack of empathy bothers them. In fact it does not. She is lying. Whenever a person like this speaks they always have an agenda watch them closely. Lying comes easily to people like this it does not bother them they feel no guilt or shame. She is trying to manipulate her audience into feeling sorry for her. Having no compassion or empathy does not bother people with Antisocial Personality Disorder in the slightest, they are proud of it. It offers them a certain freedom which they are very fond of. Their destructive behavior comes from an emptiness and a feeling of restlessness which they cannot fully understand. Hurting people, lying and manipulating people gives them great pleasure. They are sadistic by nature that is why they are destructive.
This seems to me to be a primitive reaction. You hear the word sociopath and you conclude she must have destroyed lives. The truth is that many sociopathic or psychopathic people don’t destroy lives, and many ‘neurotypicals’ do.
Im a sociopath I havent destroyed many lives just some people financially but I’m actually trying pay to them back and I shaved a girls hair off down a lane way because she owed me €80 and I’ve been in a couple of fights with attempt to stab but I got restrained so I failed but I’m 23 and I’m trying to fix my life I will tell you one thing if you are aware of your actions well then you aware enough to change I just grew up angry as a kid and slowly during my early 20s I’ve Calmed down so much and I’ve only been in one situation with the attempted stabbing since which I don’t care if people want to judge me I am who I am the and only the people I will ever listen too and be able to love is my 4 friends and family
Conduct disorder is what children are diagnosed as. Aspd is only diagnosed after 18 and requires that the individuals had certain behaviors before the age of 15 to be diagnosed.
She seems to be attention seeking looking for her 15 minutes of fame, wanting people to be impressed with her intelligence..... which seems to be missing. This is nothing to be proud of.
The way she frames this basically validates the dark tetrad and conduct disorder. And we aren’t taught to be aware of others and kind or considerate of others because of how other people will think of us, it’s because we are a collective consciousness. She is attempting to be the most intelligent in the room (typical of this disorder) and ends up just being an example of it. She names the book sociopath, knows it’s not used and used it anyway - typical antisocial personality behaviour. Can’t stand listening to this bs.
after hearing it a couple times now while then reading some comments , i'm afraid i have to mostly agree with you. She is a smooth talker, and with a fairly imprecise way of explaining things. Unfortunately she's basically saying the quiet part out loud, of so so many americans right now. I am middle aged and savvy and have fallen for these idjits a few times in life. Had a foreign lifelong friend for forty yrs now who just recently revealed that his family believed he arranged an armed robbery of their family biz, when he was about 20 y.o. After seeing his suddenly dark triad views when DJT was elected, i realize that the crime likely was paid for by him! These fake ppl who are actually machievellians and when not too sharp, can be really friggin dangerous!
I think it's very telling that people in the comments are reacting so negatively to her. I think it's both just getting that feeling that she's off and so many people have dealt with this type of person and we know the shiny surface and her trying so hard to talk people into normalizing it is what they do. Trying to find a way to help these people function in society because they are a reality is one thing, trusting them is an entirely different thing.
This is the crux of Patric's story. Sociopaths don't ask to be born sociopaths. Neither do psychopaths. Judging them for the way their brain was formed is not logical. There's so much antithapy in these posts, you would think that many of the people commenting here were sociopaths themselves.
It seems this self-described sociopath conflates "not caring about what other people think" with not caring about other people, to be unbound by conscience to do harm to others without caring.
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised by the degree of stigma in the comments. So many people think that all people with the diagnosis the same, and that they know her, and don't see to be aware of neuroplasticity and change.
She very cleverly says that she she didn't care what other people thought of her when what she actually means is she didn't care what pain she caused to other people by her socio/psychopathic behavior!
I’m no psychologist, but I fear this lady may have been misdiagnosed; somebody told her “sociopath” when they should have said “narcissist.” Jeez, it’s all, “Me, me, me! Just marvel at how unique and clever I am! My feelings, which I do have, are unique and special, unlike all you neurotypicals out there!” All the while, she seems totally allergic to going into detail about any incidents, or getting into the worst ugly stuff she ever did. (Maybe that changes, but I’m about halfway in and I don’t think I can continue listening to her for much longer.)
Nah, I think the people who diagnosed her knew what they were doing. Please remember that sociopathic people are always narcissistic, too. I find time and again when there are videos and interviews with psychopaths/sociopaths, people comment that the person is not a psychopath or sociopath.
How can you be a good mother without having emotional love children need love they feel it they know it without you saying it it’s not robotic, and if they don’t feel your emotional love for them, and they feel unloved
"OK, kids, I understand that my actions are hurtful to you but you NEED to give mommy all your caring and forgiveness. YOU need to adjust your conscience DOWN to my level to make me happy." That's what the kids pick up.
My younger sister was in this category but in more severe ways than this interviewee. My mother appears to have been this way, as well, so it seems inherited. A second sister is this way but masks it in general when around others so I would describe her as much more socially manipulative and has possessing a secretive life.
She lacks the expertise in personality disorders requisite to adequately explain her behavior and her diagnoses and cluster b personality traits and disorders at large. There is much more than a 40-question qualitative survey involved in the determination of a personality disorder. “Sociopathy” is not even a diagnosis, so I have no idea what under what delusions she conceptualizes this entire issue
I hear a very privileged person excusing her behaviors as an "illness" while they are merely weaknesses of character. Just be glad she is not YOUR mother.
It's lay person's language that people understand. A key thing to remember is like it or not, these people don't care about other people and they want to "normalize" themselves for no other reason but that it puts them into a stronger position to manipulate other people successfully. Nature of the beast.
You obviously didn't listen. She explained at the start why she called it sociopathy. You remind me of those egotistical psychiatrists who think that lived experience means nothing. This is her story of living with that particular diagnosis. That lived experience is something you can never know by reading books. Her perspective is from the inside, and she can learn the theory, to have a more complete understanding. You can only look in from the outside, but never really know beyond the theory.
I view her as brave, and honest, and neurodiverse, and as trying to help children and adults experiencing these brain differences and resultant isolation and admitted harmful/criminal behaviors. She quotes "viewing someone as antisocial or psychopathic reduces empathy in a neurotypical person".... Let's make sure not to allow ourselves to blindly fall into that. She is acknowledging her prior behavior and motivations, and seeking to support others who experience the challenges she experiences. She wants better lives for those individuals, (and thereby the world). As a professional working with children experiencing emotional and behavioral challenges, I hope to increase understanding and ways to support these children, and she is clearly advocating for them on a personal level and in her public awareness efforts and scientific/therapeutic pursuits.
Not quite safe for bringing kids up with this parent really...I know the damage of narc abuse from my mom...it effected the whole course of my life! Through intense therapy I descoved the truth at 65 and the damage was done...lost time...too late for self esteme to grow as ir should have, etc... so kids...not a prudent idea.
Exactly we shouldn’t listen to a psychopath she’s lying anyways there’s lots of things that she saying that are misleading. The reason people don’t have empathy for psychopaths is because they don’t have any empathy and they don’t care whether we have empathy or not for them, so why should we they hurt others it’s like having empathy for a serial killer
I think the appearance of "sociopathy" has been and will continue to increase as we are flooded with more and more audiovisual influences that feed us superficial examples of how to express ourselves. Watch a toddler staring into the youtube void for an hour, just sucking in the over dramatic videos with super extra gestures and "WOWWWWWW!!!!!" vibes. Like who is that supposed to even represent?? Not us(suspected sociopaths)
@@18_rabbit "as it is above so it is below". "For every action there is an equal opposite reaction" So yes you're correct, but that also means the counter will increase along with the main culture.
She was externalizing her feeling of otherness, it was a way to make the external experience match the internal, catharsis, and reduce the cognitive dissonance which is what causes stress
Sounds like you have had dealings directly with someone who has been afflicted. Unfortunately you are absolutely right. I have come across several people in my life with relentless narcissism and sociopathy. Establishing a hard boundary, sometimes guilt and shame, was the only way to get them to stand down. If you are afflicted with this disorder, and you are not aware of it, you will not be equipped to regulate yourself, and the condition can run rampant into very bad, destructive and even worst case scenarios, as the public at large has come to know.
Well, you don't really know if she's being honest. I think she enjoys the sound of her own voice, personally, no matter what the voice says at any given time.
@@jabbermocky4520 Same. I'm amazed that people are so easily taken in, even when the person is explaining how their lack of scruples makes is easy for them to victimize people, they thank the psychopath for their honesty, smh. It's not "honesty", it's flexing how clever they are, lol.
Now to think critically: why would someone who fundamentally lacks the ability to feel empathy shame or guilt want other people to feel empathy for them? Or to feel shame or guilt that we don’t understand them? I am honestly trying to think of any scenario in which this is not cynically self serving at its core and dangerous for the rest of us
Absolutely fascinating conversation on a topic that seems much more complex that I realized. There is so much we really don't understand about mental health and illnesses and it's so difficult to diagnose people. There needs to be more support for various illnesses and treatments for mental illness. We can't let fear and shame control how we tackle these issues. Prison cannot be the only way we deal with it. There has to be a better way.
I think the dark tetrad is very interesting. Its someone who has narcissism, psychopathy, machiavellianism and sadism. I knew someone who showed all these traits. Very fadcinating to watch x
Fascinating! As an empath raised by a covert narc Catholic woman who was the travel agent for guilt trips and the shame game, I would pay thousands to let go of guilt and toxic shame. They are destructive. Thanks for explaining your experience so eloquently. Gonna buy your book!
“Empathy is overdue for narcissists…..”. Hmmmm. Where is the ton of “tangible help” for their victims? I understand I can have empathy for the narcissist and that they may have incredible pain or shame they’re shielding , but where is the help if they’re family members and we’re dealing with all the devastation of their behaviors? Narcissists can be such outwardly successful people that they’re usually rewarded for their exploits. Sorry. I have a close family member who has literally ruined lives and is still actively hurting others - but she looks to society like a fun, creative success. She says she’s been seeing a therapist - either she lies to the person or that therapist is out of her depth. I’d like to see more help for people to learn to recognize these issues in others and their children and resources for help. How about victim’s funds? Most victims don’t talk. And the narcissist goes to the next fly caught in their web
Sorry Amor, but the internet and therapists’ offices are buzzing with sympathy for victims of narcissism, to the point that narcissists are completely vilified into magical monsters. When in fact most narcissists are not malignant and have a high risk of suicide due to their own suffering. That’s not to say you should stay with them. But yes, empathy is overdue.
@ Sorry, you sorta missed my bigger point about resources to help those for whom the damage to their lives has caused financial struggle, making the expense of seeing a therapist undoable. I guess where You live, people can easily afford to run to seek help. There may be more resources. I live in a semi-rural area. There is very little here in the way of any kind of assistance for any woman, especially, unless you attend a church. But here, where I live, even most churches cannot provide the kind of help a victim might need, especially if the damage done to you was anything less than physical abuse. And to my point, my narcissistic family member has wreaked havoc on all our lives. We’ve all had to cut our social media so she isn’t aware of what we’re doing. She has ruined the businesses of her sister and her husband and one of her former husbands. And she still sees Herself as a victim. So where is the all help that’s just there for the taking so I can tell my hurting family to get some to rebuild their broken lives?
@@AmorYMigas It sounds like your mother is a malignant narcissist, a subtype that causes immeasurable damage. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking you to feel sympathy for her - or for any narcissist, for that matter. It’s not the task of victims to extend sympathy to their abusers. I’m talking about the run of the mill narcissist who suffers and who could definitely improve, if society would let go of the Supervillain stereotype. If you remember, it’s been posited as true for decades that borderliners couldn’t change. These people have been refused help in a very sad and cruel way. I remember the case of a girl (17 or so?) who called a mental hospital because she was suicidal. The woman on the phone said well you’re borderline, you get no help here. The girl killed herself. It’s now known that borderliners often get much better on therapy, and even get to the point of losing the diagnosis. I think that’s possible for (non-malignant) narcissists, too, if we let go of the demonisation. Meanwhile, it’s awful that you can’t get away from your very destructive mother. I’m not sure there are many avenues for anyone….I know I didn’t get a trauma informed therapist (as they’re called) until recently, let alone while I was being abused as a child. I wish I knew what you could do about your situation. In my experience, the narcissist often wins. It’s a hollow win, but it’s there. Something like radical acceptance is the only way not to lose your sanity.
Nope. She starts manipulating right from the get go. She’s making you think she is the victim. H&$L no!! Maybe she can’t help herself, but we can help ourselves but not being taken in.
Psychopathy is part of the cluster B mental disorders. It’s super close to narcissistic personality disorder. But interesting there are nuances between the two. But many narcissistic personality disorder traits are exact matches of psychopathy.
@@mialite7959 Probably, but it's hard to prove. It's fun to discuss when you see a trend with celebrities and politicians, but there isn't an exact way to diagnose these things, and the DSM often relies on assessment checklists based on what is considered "normal" with flawed baselines. I work in a related field and put very little stock in these psychiatric diagnoses because they don't accomplish much other than a basis for insurance billing and medication. For example, if you are a "psychopath" but rule the world (e.g., high-ranking politician, billionaire, etc.), then how would your condition be considered maladaptive, and why would you ever seek treatment? This disorder has beneficial outcomes for many of these types, so why would they care?
5 minutes in and there are already so many factually incorrect statements. For example sociopaths do not feel joy, love, fear or anxiety. They are capable of anger. Emotions like compassion, empathy and shame are not "social emotions" they are innate in a healthy human being . A sociopath would categorize them as that for the simple reason that Those emotions are preceded by empathy, Something these people are incapable of feeling. The wiring in their brains that would allow for the feeling of empathy are either missing or damaged. Sociopaths are not capable of empathy other than cognitive empathy which means they can be trained to understand the cues for what another person is feeling. They can rationally understand a person is hurt. But to them it is like a memorizing how to tie a knot or how to bake a cake . It is a set of facts to them. They don't feel it and they don't understand what we feel. This woman mistakenly believes that normal people have been trained to feel a certain way. She cannot understand that we feel that way without training because we respond with empathy when we see someone or something in pain. She does not and she cannot because the parts of the brain responsible for that do not work in her. That is why it is incurable. What a sociopath mostly feels is boredom.
37:40 This lady is hugely courageous and maybe it's her condition as she calls it a condition of not caring what others think of her that makes her be free from nervousness around others or fear of an audience or worries about social repercussions. I personally find not caring what others think of me courageous and truthful. Society does make us think that if I don't care what others think of me I must have a condition of some sort. But is it a (mental illness condition or genetic) disorder? I say it isn't. Yes she has a reduced sense of affect. But that alone isn't automatically sociopathic. I question the Merck manual or whatever psychiatric manuals are out there dictating to the world what is acceptable and what is not acceptable and now they are even taking another nose dive into wokeism with their avoidance of using some of the older terminology like "psychopath". One sees this happening nowadays increasingly because of hyper triggered socioeconomic groups taking offense and calling everything racist when most things have nothing to do with racism. When society becomes more and more insane so will our socalled manuals become increasingly insane and unreliable that includes Harvard University. We are heading straight into a societal collapse and we all know it. I'm sure Pat Gagne would agree with me on this but can't say it (because if she did say this her book would be cancelled, her UA-cam channel would be cancelled or demonetized etc etc). When we can't even use certain words anymore how can we communicate properly with one another? It only leads society into a disaster. That's why I speak out because peace starts with me (and each one of you).
She mentioned having children. I would love to know if her social emotions increased with oxytocin and other hormonal changes during pregnancy and post-partum.
people don’t go to retreats to become apathetic. There are ways to work on our self-esteem and quiet. Our minds negative self talk, which is what meditation it’s all about. It’s about being conscious being aware of everything including self awareness psychopaths have no self-awareness. This lady is lying she’s trying to justify not having feelings and not caring and not having shame or guilt but those things are very important. That’s how we have empathy and compassion for others. Without empathy and compassion in this world. It is a cold ugly place we do not go to retreats to become. Not empathetic, we go to open our hearts to more love, more emotion, more empathy, more compassion, and that includes compassion for ourselves and self love she is misleading everyone for why people go to retreats and spiritual communities
How can you be a good mother without having emotional love children need love they feel it they know it without you saying it it’s not robotic, and if they don’t feel your emotional love for them, and they feel unloved and the things she said about how people go on retreats to learn to not have negative self talk, and this is not well. There are other ways to heal negative self talk and not feeling good about yourself having low self-esteem, the purpose of going to these retreats, as not to not care, and not feel, it’s about growing our empathy. Having empathy for others we have too much apathy in this world right now, and it hurts people. It hurts the world and the Earth there is no good that comes from apathy, spiritual people are learning to be conscious for their mind quiet down we learn to control the mind and meditation and there’s lots and lots of proof on how meditation helps people, but it does not make us not care. We need to care more care more about ourselves to quiet that negative self talk not become psychopaths they don’t care some of the things she saying are very manipulative and untrue and she’s using them as excuses to normalize being a psychopath but a lot of it are lies.
yes i agree! I see english is not apparently your native tongue but i do grasp what u r saying. She says things frankly like a not bright or clearheaded person who has strong narcissistic traits.
@@18_rabbit yeah, I didn’t write that very well. I was running around doing a bunch of things at once. I didn’t proofread it before I sent it and I didn’t use any punctuation. I often talk text
Sociopath is not obsolete. It is so widespread that using it as a term of discernment is more about detailing specific conditions or: Narcissist w/Sociopathic tendencies 🃏🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I have one unusual trait, which is I don't tend to experience the feeling of guilt, no matter how bad something i do is, especially if only i know i did it.
There are different kinds of empathy and some are learned and can be improved upon over the lifespan. On the other hand, there is automatic empathy- when you see someone stub their toe and you have that visceral, reflective response. It’s not something you learn.
I feel conflicted listening and watching her present with such passion. Do we need to label her sociopath, are there people who are simply mean, cruel, entitled to get what others have.... and not necessarily having a psychopathology. What happened to her in the womb? In infancy? That she would be acting out now? Rather than having psychopathy. Especially as she is able to reflect upon her traits with self empathy.
Patrick.. I am soooo grateful for your book, you with Gratitude Ca. Can this sad disorder cause psychgenic seizures... I have a child wo suffers terribly from this dorder .. my heart breaks at his antics however have great love and compassion for him xxx. My gratitude to you is forever xxx
The reason why people treat psychopaths with no empathy they treat them the way psychopaths treat. Others isn’t true. We have a lack of empathy for psychopaths, because psychopaths have no empathy. We feel they deserve it. Why should we have empathy for someone who doesn’t have any empathy it would be wasting our empathy for one thing they don’t care whether we have empathy
That presupposes that empathy requires reciprocation. They have no empathy because they are neurologically incapable. It's frankly a handicap. (Though many who have this disorder would argue the opposite - that it's almost a superpower and that empathy itself is the handicap. But I digress) Would you feel empathy towards those who have most handicaps? I don't know you, but I assume the answer to generally be yes. There's no need to inject our own selves into the equation, it is no longer about empathy once that happens. In any situation.
@@MysticalHydra no that’s not what I mean at all what I mean is why have empathy for someone who harms others and doesn’t care if you have empathy for them or not why I don’t agree with your comment at all. They don’t care if you have empathy for them they harm others they lie, and this woman lied and manipulated this whole conversation, you should read some of my comments on here about how she talked about going to retreat and how she would rather have apathy because people that go to retreat are there because they have negative self talk, which isn’t true at all people go to retreat to open their hearts to grow empathy to have compassion for all to love more and with that we love ourselves more and do not have the critical negative self talk when we love and have compassion for even ourselves so it’s about growing compassion, not have an apathy, in my opinion, I have more empathy for innocent people that are like children and animals and elders that get taken advantage of I have a little less empathy for people that have more control of their lives, but empathy is on a scale and I have a lot of empathy, but I have a hard time having empathy for someone who harms lies manipulates nothing they say you can believe, also how can you be a good mother if you don’t have a emotional love, if your children cannot feel the warmth and love of a mother having a robotic love of just a mental state rather than true love for your children they know they feel it simply you cannot listen to or believe any psychopath. If you really research it you know that they will do anything they can to manipulate lie and everything els, I don’t consider psychopathy a handicap. I don’t think psychopathy or empathy needs to be in the handicap category because they have so many different characteristics and everything that it cannot be considered a handicap. I disagree with your comment so please don’t comment on my comment because it will not change my mind if it doesn’t resonate with you then move along thank you very much for your input
@@mayastrong4646 All I'm going to say is - You can't really write paragraphs worth of public comments, and then dictate that you get the last word. If you didn't want a response, then you shouldn't have responded to me in the first place.
@@MysticalHydra if it doesn’t resonate with you, move along we disagree so go bye-bye, and the reason I’m irritated right now is because I don’t care what you have to say. I’m telling you right now I don’t care what you say. Move along. Go away. Take a hint get lost that’s why I’m irritated not about the comment or anything because you don’t have a clue so move along.
30:50 I am not so sure if that percentage she talks about of 0.01% violent psychopaths is correct. Seems like the percentage of violent psychopaths is astronomically much higher than that. Seems to me more like 50% it depends on the geographic location of course. In Africa it's more like 90%. In the middle east like 100%?
I would say she rather has personality disorder cluster B - narcisstic and histrionic traits - than something like "sociopathy". Real sociopath doesn't care to destigmatize anything. He simply doesn't need to do this. For what would he do it? Empathy, love of mankind? This woman is a con artist and very pathetic, hysterical in her playing the role of sociopath. She wants to be famous and intriguing so much. Nowadays is so sick that we are excited by sociopaths or psychopaths who are romanticized in movies true crime on Netflix. Dear lady, real sociopath would never take off his mask of sanity.
Can someone please explain the difference between a narcissist and a sociopath bc lots of ppl are calling her a narcissist but as I listen to her (she is being interviewed based on her book, right?) and she’s talking about herself, I don’t see what’s wrong with that. Why is she a narcissist? And just based on this one thing, I see so much hate on this human being. From what I know, she never hurt anyone. Why are so many strangers piling on with armchair diagnoses and insults?
Yeah, they're sortof conflating the two. She's disingenuous, and manipulating the narrative so people are labelling the narcissistic behaviours when really she is sociopath, and definitely dangerous
DrBandy X Lee and others have spoken out years ago and the sense of trauma and how it affects the human in their housing, air, water, soil, chemical exposure. Labels are snapshots nothing more and disorders and dysfunctions are more than note trauma related if not a biological medical issue like certain developmental disorders.
It would have been better if they had had a psychologist with her to fact check and expand on some of her answers.
Love this idea
Right, because she's quoting "studies" and not the DSM and she's using "sociopath" and "psychopath" interchangeably in a time when the public is fascinated psychopathology. And all this, including writing a book about herself and arranging speaking engagements about the book about herself just strikes me as manipulative and narcissistic more than anything else. To hear her talk about it, it almost sounds like a self-help book, but it's actually about pointing out how devious the acts are that she's capable of getting away with but chooses not to. It's a hero's journey really, lol.
She is a psychiatrist and has a PhD. Check her excellent book.
@@raincadeifyoh wow 😮
@@raincadeify You need to rewatch and think about what breaking into houses did for her. She explains she did not get a thrill out of the devious acts. Being in a silent home was peaceful for her.
I'm a psychologist and some of the things she said are not quite right. Empathy is something that many are born with, though it is also modeled.
YAS
Agree. I studied psychology at university ( U-Mass Boston ) and one of our seminars was titled "Examining Consciousness". We used literature, fiction and non-fiction, as well as the DSM and standard psych texts to go deep into human consciousness. Some people really are "born bad" and some "born good" which actually just means most are somewhere in between. Conscience within consciousness is the goal we should aspire towards. The woman in this video has a weak conscience, if any at all. Perhaps because she never HAD to develop one. Or, maybe she's just a bad person. It does happen.
I can honestly say that I too have grown up as a Sociopath amongst other "Cluster B" inclusive diagnoses. I also knew I was different from the others, but as a child, I felt like a victim and couldn't understand the "why me" theory. It wasn't until I was a grown adult that I recognized that only I could change my thought process (Of course with guidance from professionals). I'm now 54 and simply being aware that I am a Sociopath, restricts me from sometimes communicating with people in and out of public. I really think having an actual Sociopath who is "aware" that she is a Sociopath can benefit in educating students/patients in personality disorders. I am not a cured person myself, but I 100% can relate to this!
“Some” of the things she said are not quite right… 😂 I’d say more than some.
Totally
Sociopaths often seek to understand human behavior and patterns, not out of genuine curiosity but as a means to fit in and manipulate others. They struggle to relate to people on an emotional level and may view themselves as superior to their victims, which can lead them to switch between behaviors or emotions with ease to achieve their goals. Anxiety is overcome by getting over or by another person. When this happens a dopamine jolt is given and in a way rewards them. So , because it feels good they keep at it.
Trump. He lives off those dopamine jolts.
Nope. She is manipulating in this interview to make bad behavior ok and explain it away.
That's my takeaway, too.
There's also a narcissistic bent to this. " look at me"
Telling that she's pretending understanding what she is is a lack of empathy when what it really is is recognizing what she is and keeping your guard up. These people are wired to manipulate. I'm not saying they don't exist or have to function in society but the reason the self help books are for victims of people like her is because there are so many victims of people like her and self help books for people like her just help them learn to manipulate better.
Read the book.
I agree. This could very well be a narcissistic/ dopamine supply for her ie. look at me talking openly about this intimate edgy topic and making you have lots of understanding and even empathy. What exactly is the end goal here- to destigmatize sociopathic (bad) behaviour? It's the one thing that should not be destigmatized
“Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles.” ~Fyodor Dostoyevsky
this literally has been happenng with my oldest friend who lives overseas and is not even from my country or culture. He descended into a true almost imbecility after the new-right rose in western countries. He's brasilian living in europe. So sad and pathetic to see.
A mother who is not capable of feeling any guilt is a recipe for disaster for her kids. So she can make any bad decision when it comes to her kids and no matter what the consequences are of that, she won't feel bad about it. That's horrible.
You underestimate how damaging very emotional mothers can be for their children. She has reasons not to make bad decisions, and she may be doing the mothering job much better than hordes of destructive borderline or even neurotypical parents.
My deceased ex was a narcissistic sociopath.
He hurt me over & over and no apology.
He broke my heart.💔
Same. I’ve lived with a sociopathic narcissist for over 20 years and without exaggeration it has completely broken me and ruined my life.
My narcissist has been diagnosed with NPD on two occasions by two different mental health professionals.
He is successful and well liked in the community but can be incredibly cruel and emotionally abusive at home.
My kids have serious trauma from his inability to show empathy and unconditional love. They are both in therapy now.
It took many years to realize he was a full fledged sociopath and narcissist as he is a charlatan, a pathological liar and very manipulative. I knew that something was wrong pretty early on, but it has taken years to see the patterns of lying, bullying, passive aggression as narcissists work hard to hide all these behaviors. You don’t see them unless you know to look for them.
My narcs mom is also a narcissist who covertly bullied me for years until I broke contract. She thinks of herself as a good Christian but is nothing like a true Christian. She purposely killed her daughter’s bunnies by leaving them in 100 degree heat in a cage for hours. She denied it was intentional but it wasn’t as she talked about how she wanted to get rid of the bunnies just a few days prior. Just pure evil.
It’s very isolating to be with a narcissist as they require so much attention and despise any friends you have. I have no friends left. It’s also a bummer that people call everyone a narcissist these days. Very invalidating for people who actually deal with real sociopaths and narcissists.
@Joe-sg9ll
I didn't know him when we married.
I was very young when we married. A high school grad no college.
I now know more about human behavior .
Doesn't matter now I'm very sick & dying no desire to learn more.
@@Joe-sg9llno they don’t. You’re sick.
@@deborahklinlger8565 I'm sorry
I fully disagree with her on her explanation about which emotions are natural and which are taught. Jealousy and sadness and empathy are not taught. They are natural and genetic. She thinks they are taught because she thinks they can be learned as she learned them in form of copying other people or mimicking other people because she doesn't feel those emotions.
Like a true sociopath, she is not telling the truth on a lot of things. She just can't help herself 💫💫💫
Can ya give examples, only a sociopath could want ya belive something without evidence.
And how do you know?😂
You give into your bias to prevent your worldview from getting disrupted. You can be just as much or worse than a sociopath yourself. Get off the high horse and learn how there are lots of nuances to science that aren't studied heavily.
Of COURSE she's not 😂 I " know " because my brother IS a diagnosed sociopath, I've been dealing with it my entire life
Correct, she and someone with NPD can "learn" the appropriate responses but will never actually feel empathy. It is the only treatment we have unfortunately
That’s a psychopath. A sociopath isn’t born that way: they develop that from trauma
Cognitive empathy is honestly way better than empathy. Empathy can mislead and trick people. It can make them make dumb decisions based on bias and associating their identity with something that makes them defensive.
I think psychopathic/sociopathic disorders overlap. I had an ex-in law who definitely fit both labels. Interesting that now "the professionals" are trying to relabel mental illness, just like society is relabeling everything else. Surprisingly, she chuckles when describing her crimes. Very disconcerting.
That's not at ALL surprising.
No one cares if she chuckles when describing her crimes your talking to someone that’s sociopathic, it’s a memory if it was funny to her it was funny to her simple as that.
Never trust a thief. This lady describes how being a thief made her feel better about herself. She uses the diagnosis of "sociopathy" as an excuse. But she's just a common thief. Get thieves out of your life, all of 'em. No pity.
yep. garbage
Yep. I also feel that putting these people (?) on a pedestal, all in the name of science..... is disgusting. I think the morbid curiosity of "what makes these kinds of people tick" has gone off the Richter chart. The fact that these people get up and stand in front of people and openly claim themselves as what they are...and that that seems to be okay.... These people affect many people's lives around them. - Devastate the lives of people around them. If nothing else, these people are pathological lies, and that in itself is enough to destroy people around them.
I recommend you learn about mental illness, neuroplasticity and mental illness recovery.
Also, she didn't say she stole things to feel better about herself. She said she discovered that she felt more aligned, and calm, being in an exterior environment that matched her internal world, after the jolt of feeling something. She didn't steal anything from those houses. She worked to find that mental balance with a mental health profeseional so that she no longer felt the need to engage in that behaviour.
She was explaining behaviour; not excusing it.
Even thieves have reasons for stealing. It is antisocial behaviour, so obviously something is abnormal in their brain structure, or brain chemistry.
Your capacity to absorb information has evidently been impaired by your pre-existing judgement. Your judgement is based on your feelings, not any data.
She said she was in the hospital a lot as a young child. Perhaps that contributed to her difficulty…being detached from her mother so much…
She should not have had kids. No matter how much understanding she has of her disability, she is not capable of being a good mother.
But she's and sounds like a great one.
Where is this comment coming from? What are you basing this on?
Shes seems to be doing better than many other mothers who are afflicted by her condition, and some that arent.
I think the operative word here is 'trust' not necessarily 'love'.
Perhaps her emotionally strong Italien husband is her backup strategy here. He is supposed to do the emotional "labor" regarding their kids, so that they have at least one parent they can emotionally connect to and be well cared for. This is all speculation btw. We probably will never know.
@@mariee.5912 What happens if she has a bad day?
Empathy is NOT a learned social emotion. She is like a spider telling us all what she "thinks" a fly is feeling.
yep she is the ultimate black widow.
My ex was a diagnosed sociopath. He had a vasectomy at age 28 and I think it was very responsible of him. I’m curious why others who know about their condition would choose to have kids.
2 things.
1 - She is talking about DBT, not CBT, for those with personality disorders, this distinction is super important. CBT is talk therapy and doesn’t work for those with borderline, narcissism and sociopathy. DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) often doesn’t work either because often times those with these personality disorders don’t want help, because they don’t inherently recognize their behavior as problematic as this person does.
2 - It’s also interesting that she notes she doesn’t feel shame, guilt or remorse, but then notes her motivations here are to de-stigmatize this condition. So then, what is she feeling, when she is “stigmatized” for her diagnosis and/or behavior, that is strong enough to motivate her to try and effect this societal change in perception? Again she said she doesn’t care what people think. Why take the time to change their perception then? It’s not for her. And it’s not for others because she noted she doesn’t feel altruism.
Sociopaths generally get their biggest supply from their ability to manipulate other people and watch the chaos unfold. You have to wonder if this isn’t part of a manipulation to convince people her life and convince others they can change by taking this approach and challenging the science. Obviously I can’t say that with any degree of certainty but it is cause for pause
Yes, agreed.
I am a living example of someone who had CBT for Borderline Personality Disorder, (and C-PTSD, etc.) just before DBT was a thing. So, a long time ago (mid-to late- 1990s). It worked for me. In 2001 I was re:assessed by multiple independent mental health professionals, and I no longer had that diagnosis. My former psychologist, and I, continue to keep in contact as friends.
This is why making blanket statements about what will work for a person with a specific diagnosis, and their degree of willingness to engage in treatment and self care, is not realistic. We are all individuals, even if we have the same diagnosis. We don't all have all the symptoms (for example, my psychologist said I was not manipulative), and have different degrees of awareness, motivation, different experiences, etc.
It also depends on the degree of capacity to work with a mental health professional. Also, Borderline Personality Disorder has a huge stigma attached to it, and many mental health professionals are hostile and unwilling to work with anyone with that diagnosis. Receptionists hung up on me many times after enquiring about my diagnosis.
It is very difficult to find a respectful, intelligent, aware psychologist/ psychiatrist who has sufficient understanding to go the distance with you. It is not always the patient's/ client's fault if they can't find someone to work with. It is also common for trust to be broken due to treatment by hospital psychiatrists, and P.T.S.D. from hospital admissions. Having diagnoses with stigma was a big problem in psych. wards. I hope that is not the case now.
Obviously, money for mental health care is also an obstacle. Some people want therapy. Others don't. Others have mixed feelings. We are all individuals.
Also, with your 2nd point. Even if a person doesn't care about what others think about them, stigmatization limits life options, and available services, as I described briefly with my experience of Borderline Personality Disorder. However, she said she had treatment to help her develop social emotions, so other people do matter to her now. After treatment, it would make sense that she would want to help de-stigmatize sociopathy.
Neuroplasticity allows for structural and chemical change of the brain, that for some people (such as myself) means that some, or all signs and symptoms of that personality disorder are no longer possible.
Having fixed views is not helping you understand. Maybe listen to more people with lived experience of mental illness.
I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder amd cbt helped me, along with years of one to one counselling and support groups for alcoholism. I think you have to research your own condition and really want to change, though. x
@@mariemiles7287 Yes, CBT and years of one-to-one counselling helped me, too! Kudos to you! 💪🏆 ✨️
It’s interesting that she said empathy is not a factory setting. It is. You really can’t learn empathy. You can learn how to act it though.
She downplays the negatives. Doesn’t change who she is at her core.
She could be lying to us right now. Hmmm.
And she is
She is. Absolutely
Yes, she is.
Less than 3 minutes in and she's already lying.
😂 👍🏻
She does not understand the meaning of empathy.
ask her how many lives she has destroyed.
I've been looking..a lot of deflection.
I ran into someone likable just like her. No thanks. She looks like a world of hurt
Only a psychopath would attempt to justify their destructive behavior. They do not act in a destructive manner because their lack of empathy bothers them. In fact it does not. She is lying. Whenever a person like this speaks they always have an agenda watch them closely. Lying comes easily to people like this it does not bother them they feel no guilt or shame. She is trying to manipulate her audience into feeling sorry for her.
Having no compassion or empathy does not bother people with Antisocial Personality Disorder in the slightest, they are proud of it. It offers them a certain freedom which they are very fond of. Their destructive behavior comes from an emptiness and a feeling of restlessness which they cannot fully understand. Hurting people, lying and manipulating people gives them great pleasure. They are sadistic by nature that is why they are destructive.
This seems to me to be a primitive reaction. You hear the word sociopath and you conclude she must have destroyed lives.
The truth is that many sociopathic or psychopathic people don’t destroy lives, and many ‘neurotypicals’ do.
@@i.ehrenfest349Indeed they do. You're spreading dangerous misinformation.
Im a sociopath I havent destroyed many lives just some people financially but I’m actually trying pay to them back and I shaved a girls hair off down a lane way because she owed me €80 and I’ve been in a couple of fights with attempt to stab but I got restrained so I failed but I’m 23 and I’m trying to fix my life I will tell you one thing if you are aware of your actions well then you aware enough to change I just grew up angry as a kid and slowly during my early 20s I’ve Calmed down so much and I’ve only been in one situation with the attempted stabbing since which I don’t care if people want to judge me I am who I am the and only the people I will ever listen too and be able to love is my 4 friends and family
Conduct disorder is what children are diagnosed as. Aspd is only diagnosed after 18 and requires that the individuals had certain behaviors before the age of 15 to be diagnosed.
This was so interesting and wish her well .
I’ve had a few managers like her throughout my life, made work horrible.
Jesus, i can't even. Also false information.
She seems to be attention seeking looking for her 15 minutes of fame, wanting people to be impressed with her intelligence..... which seems to be missing. This is nothing to be proud of.
I agree with everything you said.
This is also my gut reaction.
She's probably done some damage to bring her here
Yes, I wish people like her realize how destructive they are, regardless of the cause of origin. Just heal and become a civilized citizen. Geeesh!!!🙄
I disagree completely and I know a lot about the subject. It’s judgements like these that stop these conversations from happening.
The way she frames this basically validates the dark tetrad and conduct disorder. And we aren’t taught to be aware of others and kind or considerate of others because of how other people will think of us, it’s because we are a collective consciousness. She is attempting to be the most intelligent in the room (typical of this disorder) and ends up just being an example of it.
She names the book sociopath, knows it’s not used and used it anyway - typical antisocial personality behaviour.
Can’t stand listening to this bs.
after hearing it a couple times now while then reading some comments , i'm afraid i have to mostly agree with you. She is a smooth talker, and with a fairly imprecise way of explaining things. Unfortunately she's basically saying the quiet part out loud, of so so many americans right now. I am middle aged and savvy and have fallen for these idjits a few times in life. Had a foreign lifelong friend for forty yrs now who just recently revealed that his family believed he arranged an armed robbery of their family biz, when he was about 20 y.o. After seeing his suddenly dark triad views when DJT was elected, i realize that the crime likely was paid for by him! These fake ppl who are actually machievellians and when not too sharp, can be really friggin dangerous!
I think it's very telling that people in the comments are reacting so negatively to her. I think it's both just getting that feeling that she's off and so many people have dealt with this type of person and we know the shiny surface and her trying so hard to talk people into normalizing it is what they do. Trying to find a way to help these people function in society because they are a reality is one thing, trusting them is an entirely different thing.
This is the crux of Patric's story. Sociopaths don't ask to be born sociopaths. Neither do psychopaths. Judging them for the way their brain was formed is not logical. There's so much antithapy in these posts, you would think that many of the people commenting here were sociopaths themselves.
Or narcissistic. They want to blame, instantaneously. Rum.
I feel unsettled listening to her. Just makes my skin crawl. That's where my antipathy comes from
I wouldn't have her in my life if I were you. Stay away!!
It seems this self-described sociopath conflates "not caring about what other people think" with not caring about other people, to be unbound by conscience to do harm to others without caring.
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised by the degree of stigma in the comments. So many people think that all people with the diagnosis the same, and that they know her, and don't see to be aware of neuroplasticity and change.
She very cleverly says that she she didn't care what other people thought of her when what she actually means is she didn't care what pain she caused to other people by her socio/psychopathic behavior!
Why re-interpret her words?
@i.ehrenfest349 because she's a sociopath!! They are very good at manipulation. I know because a I have lived with one!!
Her poor kids. Yikes. How corrosive of their innocence.
Why? You have no idea if her kids are unhappy. She may treat them very well.
I’m no psychologist, but I fear this lady may have been misdiagnosed; somebody told her “sociopath” when they should have said “narcissist.” Jeez, it’s all, “Me, me, me! Just marvel at how unique and clever I am! My feelings, which I do have, are unique and special, unlike all you neurotypicals out there!” All the while, she seems totally allergic to going into detail about any incidents, or getting into the worst ugly stuff she ever did. (Maybe that changes, but I’m about halfway in and I don’t think I can continue listening to her for much longer.)
Nah, I think the people who diagnosed her knew what they were doing. Please remember that sociopathic people are always narcissistic, too.
I find time and again when there are videos and interviews with psychopaths/sociopaths, people comment that the person is not a psychopath or sociopath.
She sounds very opportunistic and megalomaniac …. Ultimately chickens won’t feel sorry for foxes being crushed
How can you be a good mother without having emotional love children need love they feel it they know it without you saying it it’s not robotic, and if they don’t feel your emotional love for them, and they feel unloved
"OK, kids, I understand that my actions are hurtful to you but you NEED to give mommy all your caring and forgiveness. YOU need to adjust your conscience DOWN to my level to make me happy." That's what the kids pick up.
@@jabbermocky4520 the narcissistic mother. Hard to fathom for most of us
My younger sister was in this category but in more severe ways than this interviewee. My mother appears to have been this way, as well, so it seems inherited. A second sister is this way but masks it in general when around others so I would describe her as much more socially manipulative and has possessing a secretive life.
Oh, believe it, this one is masking big time !!
You can't learn or be taught empathy. You either have it or you don't, some more or less than others.
She lacks the expertise in personality disorders requisite to adequately explain her behavior and her diagnoses and cluster b personality traits and disorders at large. There is much more than a 40-question qualitative survey involved in the determination of a personality disorder. “Sociopathy” is not even a diagnosis, so I have no idea what under what delusions she conceptualizes this entire issue
I hear a very privileged person excusing her behaviors as an "illness" while they are merely weaknesses of character. Just be glad she is not YOUR mother.
@@jabbermocky4520 Have you yourself been checked for Mental Illness?
It's lay person's language that people understand. A key thing to remember is like it or not, these people don't care about other people and they want to "normalize" themselves for no other reason but that it puts them into a stronger position to manipulate other people successfully. Nature of the beast.
You obviously didn't listen. She explained at the start why she called it sociopathy. You remind me of those egotistical psychiatrists who think that lived experience means nothing. This is her story of living with that particular diagnosis. That lived experience is something you can never know by reading books. Her perspective is from the inside, and she can learn the theory, to have a more complete understanding. You can only look in from the outside, but never really know beyond the theory.
@@daniellamcgee4251 people like you will literally self destruct defending malicious people who are watching you with delight
I view her as brave, and honest, and neurodiverse, and as trying to help children and adults experiencing these brain differences and resultant isolation and admitted harmful/criminal behaviors. She quotes "viewing someone as antisocial or psychopathic reduces empathy in a neurotypical person".... Let's make sure not to allow ourselves to blindly fall into that. She is acknowledging her prior behavior and motivations, and seeking to support others who experience the challenges she experiences. She wants better lives for those individuals, (and thereby the world). As a professional working with children experiencing emotional and behavioral challenges, I hope to increase understanding and ways to support these children, and she is clearly advocating for them on a personal level and in her public awareness efforts and scientific/therapeutic pursuits.
Not quite safe for bringing kids up with this parent really...I know the damage of narc abuse from my mom...it effected the whole course of my life! Through intense therapy I descoved the truth at 65 and the damage was done...lost time...too late for self esteme to grow as ir should have, etc... so kids...not a prudent idea.
told by a sociopath, of the sociopaths, and still the sociopaths, and taught in the way of a sociopathic
It is what it is. Plain and simple. STAY AWAY
What?!
My heart goes out to the family. Only them
Exactly we shouldn’t listen to a psychopath she’s lying anyways there’s lots of things that she saying that are misleading. The reason people don’t have empathy for psychopaths is because they don’t have any empathy and they don’t care whether we have empathy or not for them, so why should we they hurt others it’s like having empathy for a serial killer
@@mayastrong4646I agree with all of this. They lack empathy and often laugh at people who do.
I think the appearance of "sociopathy" has been and will continue to increase as we are flooded with more and more audiovisual influences that feed us superficial examples of how to express ourselves. Watch a toddler staring into the youtube void for an hour, just sucking in the over dramatic videos with super extra gestures and "WOWWWWWW!!!!!" vibes. Like who is that supposed to even represent?? Not us(suspected sociopaths)
um, u need to expand on that. What the net and shortform comm's does is increase superficiality in some ppl.
@@18_rabbit "as it is above so it is below".
"For every action there is an equal opposite reaction"
So yes you're correct, but that also means the counter will increase along with the main culture.
Nope it’s not a treatable personality condition.
She was externalizing her feeling of otherness, it was a way to make the external experience match the internal, catharsis, and reduce the cognitive dissonance which is what causes stress
OMG! I just realized a piece of this d/o is a component of being spiritually empty or lacks a higher power.
Her honesty is to be respected, but I can not fully endorse doing away with guilt and shame. For some people it’s the only boundary they understand.
Sounds like you have had dealings directly with someone who has been afflicted. Unfortunately you are absolutely right. I have come across several people in my life with relentless narcissism and sociopathy. Establishing a hard boundary, sometimes guilt and shame, was the only way to get them to stand down. If you are afflicted with this disorder, and you are not aware of it, you will not be equipped to regulate yourself, and the condition can run rampant into very bad, destructive and even worst case scenarios, as the public at large has come to know.
Well, you don't really know if she's being honest. I think she enjoys the sound of her own voice, personally, no matter what the voice says at any given time.
You're calling it "honesty", I'm calling it narcissistic supply.
@@raincadeify And I am in agreement with your assessment.
@@jabbermocky4520 Same. I'm amazed that people are so easily taken in, even when the person is explaining how their lack of scruples makes is easy for them to victimize people, they thank the psychopath for their honesty, smh. It's not "honesty", it's flexing how clever they are, lol.
Now to think critically: why would someone who fundamentally lacks the ability to feel empathy shame or guilt want other people to feel empathy for them? Or to feel shame or guilt that we don’t understand them? I am honestly trying to think of any scenario in which this is not cynically self serving at its core and dangerous for the rest of us
Yes. They recognise this quality and appreciate it for their ability to manipulate good people
Absolutely fascinating conversation on a topic that seems much more complex that I realized. There is so much we really don't understand about mental health and illnesses and it's so difficult to diagnose people. There needs to be more support for various illnesses and treatments for mental illness. We can't let fear and shame control how we tackle these issues. Prison cannot be the only way we deal with it. There has to be a better way.
I think the dark tetrad is very interesting. Its someone who has narcissism, psychopathy, machiavellianism and sadism. I knew someone who showed all these traits. Very fadcinating to watch x
Ted Bundy did.
What possible emotion comes from breaking into someone’s home? This sounds compulsive.
Power and control
Fascinating! As an empath raised by a covert narc Catholic woman who was the travel agent for guilt trips and the shame game, I would pay thousands to let go of guilt and toxic shame. They are destructive. Thanks for explaining your experience so eloquently. Gonna buy your book!
After this interview Savannah Sellers and the entire audience have not been seen since 😮
Huh?
She is just evil!
😂
Great interview ❤
“Empathy is overdue for narcissists…..”. Hmmmm. Where is the ton of “tangible help” for their victims?
I understand I can have empathy for the narcissist and that they may have incredible pain or shame they’re shielding , but where is the help if they’re family members and we’re dealing with all the devastation of their behaviors? Narcissists can be such outwardly successful people that they’re usually rewarded for their exploits.
Sorry. I have a close family member who has literally ruined lives and is still actively hurting others - but she looks to society like a fun, creative success. She says she’s been seeing a therapist - either she lies to the person or that therapist is out of her depth.
I’d like to see more help for people to learn to recognize these issues in others and their children and resources for help. How about victim’s funds? Most victims don’t talk. And the narcissist goes to the next fly caught in their web
Sorry Amor, but the internet and therapists’ offices are buzzing with sympathy for victims of narcissism, to the point that narcissists are completely vilified into magical monsters. When in fact most narcissists are not malignant and have a high risk of suicide due to their own suffering. That’s not to say you should stay with them. But yes, empathy is overdue.
@ Sorry, you sorta missed my bigger point about resources to help those for whom the damage to their lives has caused financial struggle, making the expense of seeing a therapist undoable. I guess where You live, people can easily afford to run to seek help. There may be more resources. I live in a semi-rural area. There is very little here in the way of any kind of assistance for any woman, especially, unless you attend a church. But here, where I live, even most churches cannot provide the kind of help a victim might need, especially if the damage done to you was anything less than physical abuse.
And to my point, my narcissistic family member has wreaked havoc on all our lives. We’ve all had to cut our social media so she isn’t aware of what we’re doing. She has ruined the businesses of her sister and her husband and one of her former husbands. And she still sees Herself as a victim.
So where is the all help that’s just there for the taking so I can tell my hurting family to get some to rebuild their broken lives?
@@AmorYMigas It sounds like your mother is a malignant narcissist, a subtype that causes immeasurable damage. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking you to feel sympathy for her - or for any narcissist, for that matter. It’s not the task of victims to extend sympathy to their abusers.
I’m talking about the run of the mill narcissist who suffers and who could definitely improve, if society would let go of the Supervillain stereotype. If you remember, it’s been posited as true for decades that borderliners couldn’t change. These people have been refused help in a very sad and cruel way. I remember the case of a girl (17 or so?) who called a mental hospital because she was suicidal. The woman on the phone said well you’re borderline, you get no help here. The girl killed herself.
It’s now known that borderliners often get much better on therapy, and even get to the point of losing the diagnosis. I think that’s possible for (non-malignant) narcissists, too, if we let go of the demonisation.
Meanwhile, it’s awful that you can’t get away from your very destructive mother. I’m not sure there are many avenues for anyone….I know I didn’t get a trauma informed therapist (as they’re called) until recently, let alone while I was being abused as a child.
I wish I knew what you could do about your situation. In my experience, the narcissist often wins. It’s a hollow win, but it’s there. Something like radical acceptance is the only way not to lose your sanity.
Oops, I said “your mother”, and that may not be the case.
When I googled "sociopath", the first 10 hits were Trump for President ads.
I believe he's was supposed to be more of a covert poster boy for them, now... well... it turned into something of an embarrassment for them. 😂
You are nasty ------ but sooooo original.
Nope. She starts manipulating right from the get go. She’s making you think she is the victim. H&$L no!! Maybe she can’t help herself, but we can help ourselves but not being taken in.
Psychopathy is part of the cluster B mental disorders. It’s super close to narcissistic personality disorder. But interesting there are nuances between the two. But many narcissistic personality disorder traits are exact matches of psychopathy.
Like Trump
@@walterbo7687 And both Hillary and Bill Clinton. These behaviors are common with politicians and executives.
@@scratchpenny Trump is off the chart's.
@@mialite7959 Probably, but it's hard to prove. It's fun to discuss when you see a trend with celebrities and politicians, but there isn't an exact way to diagnose these things, and the DSM often relies on assessment checklists based on what is considered "normal" with flawed baselines.
I work in a related field and put very little stock in these psychiatric diagnoses because they don't accomplish much other than a basis for insurance billing and medication. For example, if you are a "psychopath" but rule the world (e.g., high-ranking politician, billionaire, etc.), then how would your condition be considered maladaptive, and why would you ever seek treatment? This disorder has beneficial outcomes for many of these types, so why would they care?
Thank you for talking, it is very important and very appreciated.
Where did she get her PhD?! Shadyyyy
5 minutes in and there are already so many factually incorrect statements. For example sociopaths do not feel joy, love, fear or anxiety. They are capable of anger. Emotions like compassion, empathy and shame are not "social emotions" they are innate in a healthy human being . A sociopath would categorize them as that for the simple reason that Those emotions are preceded by empathy, Something these people are incapable of feeling. The wiring in their brains that would allow for the feeling of empathy are either missing or damaged. Sociopaths are not capable of empathy other than cognitive empathy which means they can be trained to understand the cues for what another person is feeling. They can rationally understand a person is hurt. But to them it is like a memorizing how to tie a knot or how to bake a cake . It is a set of facts to them. They don't feel it and they don't understand what we feel. This woman mistakenly believes that normal people have been trained to feel a certain way. She cannot understand that we feel that way without training because we respond with empathy when we see someone or something in pain. She does not and she cannot because the parts of the brain responsible for that do not work in her. That is why it is incurable.
What a sociopath mostly feels is boredom.
This is correct, like a true sociopath shes manipulating the truth to fit her best intrest
Sociopaths do feel love, joy, anxiety and fear. These emotions are toned down, but they’re there.
Thanks for sharing
Super interesting. Thanks for the insight!
Super
The greatest love to her kids.
37:40 This lady is hugely courageous and maybe it's her condition as she calls it a condition of not caring what others think of her that makes her be free from nervousness around others or fear of an audience or worries about social repercussions. I personally find not caring what others think of me courageous and truthful. Society does make us think that if I don't care what others think of me I must have a condition of some sort. But is it a (mental illness condition or genetic) disorder? I say it isn't. Yes she has a reduced sense of affect. But that alone isn't automatically sociopathic. I question the Merck manual or whatever psychiatric manuals are out there dictating to the world what is acceptable and what is not acceptable and now they are even taking another nose dive into wokeism with their avoidance of using some of the older terminology like "psychopath". One sees this happening nowadays increasingly because of hyper triggered socioeconomic groups taking offense and calling everything racist when most things have nothing to do with racism. When society becomes more and more insane so will our socalled manuals become increasingly insane and unreliable that includes Harvard University. We are heading straight into a societal collapse and we all know it. I'm sure Pat Gagne would agree with me on this but can't say it (because if she did say this her book would be cancelled, her UA-cam channel would be cancelled or demonetized etc etc). When we can't even use certain words anymore how can we communicate properly with one another? It only leads society into a disaster. That's why I speak out because peace starts with me (and each one of you).
Excellent interview!
She mentioned having children. I would love to know if her social emotions increased with oxytocin and other hormonal changes during pregnancy and post-partum.
people don’t go to retreats to become apathetic. There are ways to work on our self-esteem and quiet. Our minds negative self talk, which is what meditation it’s all about. It’s about being conscious being aware of everything including self awareness psychopaths have no self-awareness. This lady is lying she’s trying to justify not having feelings and not caring and not having shame or guilt but those things are very important. That’s how we have empathy and compassion for others. Without empathy and compassion in this world. It is a cold ugly place we do not go to retreats to become. Not empathetic, we go to open our hearts to more love, more emotion, more empathy, more compassion, and that includes compassion for ourselves and self love she is misleading everyone for why people go to retreats and spiritual communities
How can you be a good mother without having emotional love children need love they feel it they know it without you saying it it’s not robotic, and if they don’t feel your emotional love for them, and they feel unloved and the things she said about how people go on retreats to learn to not have negative self talk, and this is not well. There are other ways to heal negative self talk and not feeling good about yourself having low self-esteem, the purpose of going to these retreats, as not to not care, and not feel, it’s about growing our empathy. Having empathy for others we have too much apathy in this world right now, and it hurts people. It hurts the world and the Earth there is no good that comes from apathy, spiritual people are learning to be conscious for their mind quiet down we learn to control the mind and meditation and there’s lots and lots of proof on how meditation helps people, but it does not make us not care. We need to care more care more about ourselves to quiet that negative self talk not become psychopaths they don’t care some of the things she saying are very manipulative and untrue and she’s using them as excuses to normalize being a psychopath but a lot of it are lies.
yes i agree! I see english is not apparently your native tongue but i do grasp what u r saying. She says things frankly like a not bright or clearheaded person who has strong narcissistic traits.
@@18_rabbit yeah, I didn’t write that very well. I was running around doing a bunch of things at once. I didn’t proofread it before I sent it and I didn’t use any punctuation. I often talk text
20:22 her point proven in this comment section smh
Lack of social fear sounds really good, society pretty much sucks!
Sociopath is not obsolete.
It is so widespread that using it as a term of discernment is more about detailing specific conditions or: Narcissist w/Sociopathic tendencies 🃏🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
She means that she is a psychopath and the term sociopath is an iteration of the definition.
I have one unusual trait, which is I don't tend to experience the feeling of guilt, no matter how bad something i do is, especially if only i know i did it.
wowzers, that's bad.... reeeal bad. It's THE trait we animals need, otherwise.....
there is no pill to treat psychopathy which makes iy difficult for familes of the neurodivergent
There are different kinds of empathy and some are learned and can be improved upon over the lifespan. On the other hand, there is automatic empathy- when you see someone stub their toe and you have that visceral, reflective response. It’s not something you learn.
I appreciate this piece
I am sad for her kids!
From the title, I thought this was going to be about trump.
Fascinating
Mommy makes bad choices. Mommy knows she lacks guilt and shame. Get in the car kids..
I wonder what Alan Watts would think of her?
I feel conflicted listening and watching her present with such passion. Do we need to label her sociopath, are there people who are simply mean, cruel, entitled to get what others have.... and not necessarily having a psychopathology. What happened to her in the womb? In infancy? That she would be acting out now? Rather than having psychopathy. Especially as she is able to reflect upon her traits with self empathy.
Thank you doctor that was very interesting.
Sociopaths have normal nrains and generally have suffered trama..
Psychopaths have been found to have abnormalities in brain.... important in trla
Awesome.
Patrick.. I am soooo grateful for your book, you with Gratitude
Ca. Can this sad disorder cause psychgenic seizures... I have a child wo suffers terribly from this dorder .. my heart breaks at his antics however have great love and compassion for him xxx. My gratitude to you is forever xxx
Is this what is now being diagnosed as PDA?
The reason why people treat psychopaths with no empathy they treat them the way psychopaths treat. Others isn’t true. We have a lack of empathy for psychopaths, because psychopaths have no empathy. We feel they deserve it. Why should we have empathy for someone who doesn’t have any empathy it would be wasting our empathy for one thing they don’t care whether we have empathy
That presupposes that empathy requires reciprocation. They have no empathy because they are neurologically incapable. It's frankly a handicap. (Though many who have this disorder would argue the opposite - that it's almost a superpower and that empathy itself is the handicap. But I digress) Would you feel empathy towards those who have most handicaps? I don't know you, but I assume the answer to generally be yes. There's no need to inject our own selves into the equation, it is no longer about empathy once that happens. In any situation.
@@MysticalHydra no that’s not what I mean at all what I mean is why have empathy for someone who harms others and doesn’t care if you have empathy for them or not why I don’t agree with your comment at all. They don’t care if you have empathy for them they harm others they lie, and this woman lied and manipulated this whole conversation, you should read some of my comments on here about how she talked about going to retreat and how she would rather have apathy because people that go to retreat are there because they have negative self talk, which isn’t true at all people go to retreat to open their hearts to grow empathy to have compassion for all to love more and with that we love ourselves more and do not have the critical negative self talk when we love and have compassion for even ourselves so it’s about growing compassion, not have an apathy, in my opinion, I have more empathy for innocent people that are like children and animals and elders that get taken advantage of I have a little less empathy for people that have more control of their lives, but empathy is on a scale and I have a lot of empathy, but I have a hard time having empathy for someone who harms lies manipulates nothing they say you can believe, also how can you be a good mother if you don’t have a emotional love, if your children cannot feel the warmth and love of a mother having a robotic love of just a mental state rather than true love for your children they know they feel it simply you cannot listen to or believe any psychopath. If you really research it you know that they will do anything they can to manipulate lie and everything els, I don’t consider psychopathy a handicap. I don’t think psychopathy or empathy needs to be in the handicap category because they have so many different characteristics and everything that it cannot be considered a handicap. I disagree with your comment so please don’t comment on my comment because it will not change my mind if it doesn’t resonate with you then move along thank you very much for your input
@@mayastrong4646 All I'm going to say is - You can't really write paragraphs worth of public comments, and then dictate that you get the last word. If you didn't want a response, then you shouldn't have responded to me in the first place.
@@MysticalHydra if it doesn’t resonate with you, move along we disagree so go bye-bye, and the reason I’m irritated right now is because I don’t care what you have to say. I’m telling you right now I don’t care what you say. Move along. Go away. Take a hint get lost that’s why I’m irritated not about the comment or anything because you don’t have a clue so move along.
We have empathy for them until they show us they have no empathy for us.
Perhaps God helped! Spiritually can’t be ignored.
This is interesting. I don't know that she is lying. There are lots of people like this and she is working on it....most aren't ....
Sociopath like who Jeffrey Dahmer was
Karen confessions.
lol. Good description.
I know some nice people named Karen. I dislike this use of the name, as it is irresponsible.
Bigot says what?
30:50 I am not so sure if that percentage she talks about of 0.01% violent psychopaths is correct. Seems like the percentage of violent psychopaths is astronomically much higher than that. Seems to me more like 50% it depends on the geographic location of course. In Africa it's more like 90%. In the middle east like 100%?
Excellent way of redefining these personality disorders! 🎉😊
I would say she rather has personality disorder cluster B - narcisstic and histrionic traits - than something like "sociopathy". Real sociopath doesn't care to destigmatize anything. He simply doesn't need to do this. For what would he do it? Empathy, love of mankind? This woman is a con artist and very pathetic, hysterical in her playing the role of sociopath. She wants to be famous and intriguing so much. Nowadays is so sick that we are excited by sociopaths or psychopaths who are romanticized in movies true crime on Netflix. Dear lady, real sociopath would never take off his mask of sanity.
Can someone please explain the difference between a narcissist and a sociopath bc lots of ppl are calling her a narcissist but as I listen to her (she is being interviewed based on her book, right?) and she’s talking about herself, I don’t see what’s wrong with that.
Why is she a narcissist? And just based on this one thing, I see so much hate on this human being. From what I know, she never hurt anyone. Why are so many strangers piling on with armchair diagnoses and insults?
Yeah, they're sortof conflating the two. She's disingenuous, and manipulating the narrative so people are labelling the narcissistic behaviours when really she is sociopath, and definitely dangerous
DrBandy X Lee and others have spoken out years ago and the sense of trauma and how it affects the human in their housing, air, water, soil, chemical exposure. Labels are snapshots nothing more and disorders and dysfunctions are more than note trauma related if not a biological medical issue like certain developmental disorders.