EVERYTHING You Need To Know Before Getting Married: Mahr, Red Flags & More!! | Sheikh Belal Assaad
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- Опубліковано 3 лип 2022
- Whether we hit the 500 or not... we still had to drop this important episode!
An episode we know you all can't wait for. We discussed anything and everything to do with marriage. Especially honing in on red flags to be aware of before getting married, why we should get married, qualities to look for in a potential spouse and we even delved into the Mahr debate.
JZK to Sheikh Belal again for blessing us with these gems!
This is a jam packed episode not to be missed!
We'd love to hear your opinions so please comment down below.
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PEACE!!!
Salamo alaykom, just a simple translation of Dr Jasem's 10 questions:
1) What is your future ambition?
2) What is your understanding of marriage?
3) Which qualities would you like to see in your life partner?
4) Is it necessary to give birth in the first year?
5) Do you have any health or hereditary problems?
6) Are you sociable? who are your friends?
7) How is your relationship with your parents?
8) How do you spend your free time?
9) Do you have a charitable or voluntary activity?
10) What do you think about having your mom or my mom involved in our personal matters?
Jazakallah khair for this!
Can we do a video about the parents getting involved in personal matters? For me that’s a major 🚩
thank you
جزاك الله خير 🙏🏾
Can I have Dr jasems book
I’m not a Muslim but I learnt so much from this interview. Thank you for sharing. Hoping for a next interview with Sheikh Belal.
I invite you to Islam dear brother/sister. Study, learn, and read with an open mind and heart. My only request is that you ask for guidance from your creator. I wish nothing less than jannah (paradise) for you:)
Saa
SubhanAllah look at you, Allah AWJ guiding you towards Him. My prayers and heartfelt wishes go out to you brother/sister ☺️
Now you folks started to pimp each other.
I hope that one day Allah will grant you the opportunity to be associated with Islam. I hope I will pray for you my dearly sibling.
Questions to ask before marriage:
1. Where do you see your self in ‘x’ number of years? What is your outlook?
2. What is your world view? What are your thoughts about the world? What are we here for?
3. Ask about family. How do your family live? What do they enjoy doing? How did parents meet? How do you guys interact?
4. What do you enjoy doing in your free time? Tells about personality.
5. How do you see finances and management? Are they a spender or saver.
*there are 5 other questions I can’t find them tbd
Ask informally, it’s not interrogation. You can start talking about yourself. Leave the questions open ended. Don’t solely rely on conversation but also pay attention to how you feel and do some background work (social media + community). How do they act with their family? They will treat you the same when they get comfortable.
You can test a person but without lying or deception. To see how they react when put in certain situations.
Sheikh Belal is a gem, may Allah protect him and his family. I loved the interaction which was warm, funny and respectful at the same time :)
Glad you enjoyed it! :)
Ameen
We have same name hh iam also amina noor osman from somalia🇸🇴💟
AMEEN
14:13 "another advice i give is look write down six or seven main things that you as a person you can never be able to tolerate" amazing points made regarding this topic!
There is so much wisdom in what he said. I totally agree, i’m from Azad Kashmir Pakistan and my husband is from Karachi. We got married just out of emotions and eventually its a big disaster. Our customs, lifestyle are totally different we just cant get along . He feels uncomfortable with my relatives & im in his. I advise young couple to choose the partner wisely and keeping in mind all the points as Sir said. Dont get marry based on attraction, physical looks and emotions.
the thing is my family is so toxic that I would not even want my husband to be around them
@@rianeon then after marriage, keep your distance. But make sure you fulfil your duty's as a daughter.
😅😅😊😊😊😊😊
Aameen and duas
Attractions and physical is everything. That is the first key of and character and honesty and hope for the best.
As a Muslim father of two I really respect this man way of of thinking, he inspires me and gives very reasonable examples tabarak Allah his a zalameh
💯
He’s a what???
Please always type tabarak Allah with A capital
Make sure you never make it impossible to marry your children the way todays Muslim parents make it for us.
@@ismailkamran4370 hahah 😂 he's a zalameh = a real man
Asking these questions is a good start but be aware that people lie. I know about even the parents lying about their kids to get them married, thinking the person will change with responsibility. But if the upbringing was not right, the capacity of handling responsibilities won’t be. Also, narcissism is a real thing. Someone can outwardly be someone and inwardly be someone else. They hide themselves very well, they manipulate very well, they are clever in giving quick responses. Be very observant and have a connection with Allah swt.
The person who wants to marry can also ask the friends or relatives of the husband/wife candidate's. I knew about this from my teachers too, that it's not only the husband/ wife candidate's parents that we can ask about because, like you said, they can provide a very biased opinion on their own child.
I haven't been married, but just recently I was saved from marrying someone who had a verbal abuse past to his ex-girlfriends. His parents and his brother said a lot of nice things about this man, but his friends and colleagues saying the opposite. I had a hunch that this was not right--thankfully I was able to cancel my marriage to him.
This was so insightful, jazakallah ❤️
All videos of you guys with Belal are always my favs!!!
Mashallah he speaks very gently. Learned a lot
I am also mixed. My dad is Iranian and my mom is Irish. It makes everything really weird and I didn’t notice it until the recent years. I’m 37 and haven’t been lucky enough to find whoever I’m supposed to be with yet. I don’t know that being mixed has something to do with it but I also don’t know that it doesn’t. Inshallah my time will come.
Inshallah that day is soon for you sister. I'm 26 and unmarried, I realise how quickly the clock ticks. It's scary but Inshallah Allah will open doors for us all. The priority is to get stronger in deen then pursue in the best way. Bi'ithnillah. At least that is my approach.
Inn Shaa Allah
Pray to ALLAH to pick your spouse who will be best suited for your khair in this life and the next. In-sha-ALLAH you will both be connected through the blessing of ALLAH.
Do your best in balancing for akhira/dunya rightfully and read this dua every day:
“Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.” [25:74] رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا”
Also ask ALLAH to bless you with afiyah everyday for this life and the next.
Embrace your mixed ethnicity be proud of who you are and learn both cultures
Marriage is pre-decreed by God so if it is written for you it will happen at the time it is meant to. My cousin got married at 40 and had two daughters. A friend of mine got married at 41 to a guy in his thirties and had a daughter.
Beautiful talk!
Very inspirational lecture SubhanAllah I have got to learn alot from this lecture thanks alot
This speakers voice is so soothing ! He will make a good voice for any audible books!
One of the best lectures on this marriage thing. So many golden advices there. I'll always keep coming back to it and share it with others too insha Allah. Thanks Sheikh and this channel for addressing this beautifully.
big thanks to the questions you guys asked - guess all us young people got the same questions lol. sheikh Bilal really answered them beautifully also keeping in mind the times we're living in... which is something alot of adults or parents don't consider.
Most of our youngsters, even up to the age of 20 are nowhere near of being ready for marriage. Dont know how talking about it would change anything. Most of the problems come from the parents/household/society. If that does not change, then talking about marrying at a young age will dont bring any change.
Yep, agreed. I’m nearing 30 and I’m still struggling to find anyone
I don’t know if I’ll ever need this in life but jazakallah khayrun. I hope I will insha’Allah
Mashallah sheikh belal he’s a great story teller
i am mixed as well and honestly the struggle is real. honestly at this point I feel like being with a mixed person would be the most comfortable for me
Mashallah sheikh is giving great things to learners ❤
Sister was influence to get married to the same culture man, he’s “a scholar” of Islam
He wanted to have a child every year, yet did not want to raise feed or look after his children, his goal was to live the bachelor life with hang out with his friends
And also have his halal sexual desires meet
Forcing my sister to have the basic minimum life.
Live off the gov housing claim money and for her to work help pay for the bills so he don’t have too.
Now she divorced depressed and raising his kids alone living off the state
While he remarried blessed with umrah job child and new home
Women really suffer in this world
May Allah give barakah to your sister
May Allah make it easy for her and all of our sisters
may allah give her rewards for the patience and oppression she has received in this life ameen. And may allah grant her jannatul firdaus ameen
That sounds exactly right, it's a man's world. Bless your sister and she's better off away from him.
I'm half arab half indian and the struggle is real!
MashaAllah, sheikh is on point
The books sorted by colour is extremely satisfying.
Masha’Allah. I enjoyed watching this video. Really good questions and guidance 👌🏽
🙏🏼🙏🏼
Excellent podcast, mā shā Allāh! Jazākumullāhu Khāyr
Wa Iyakum 🙏🏼
This was amazing to watch, this is pure wisdom.
What an inspiration of a man!
MashaAllah!
Very beneficial , Jazzakom Allah Alf Khayr
🙏🏼 wa iyakum
Mashallah,,may allah bless you shaikh that was amazing speech,, thank you guys and keep it up 😊
MashaAllah, so insightfull! Thank you.. Jazakallahu Khairan. May Allah bless you All..
Wa iyakum!
Its so good to see young muslim generation doing beneficial work for their Ummah it will inspire the upcoming generations. Mashallah and jazakum Allah khayran inchallah wa baraka
The best ephisode so far love your content
What a good topic I really enjoyed it this man makes a lot f sense
Definitely need those 10 questions haha Jazak’Allahukhairun for the lecture!
Look at the pinned comment akhi 🙏🏼
Loved the conversion....
Thank you Sheikh. Jazakallahu Khairan Sheikh
This conversation was no less than awesome. Many thanks to the hosts for the energy, the questions and the sense of humour and thanks to Cheikh Bilal for his smile, knowledge and kindness which were much appreciated. Salam Aleykoum from France and God bless U all!
Thank you for the kind words and we’re glad you enjoyed it!
Wailakumusalam from Australia 😄
This is Maa Shaa Allah, jazakumllahu khairan
Wa iyakum 🙏🏼
Assalamualakum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatohu ,very important topics for all of us to know I’m so glad that someone is talking about it .he’s shared so much valuable information that even I don’t know ,Jazaakillallah khairan May Allah Swt bless you Ameen ya Rabilaillahmeen
Wa iyakum 👍🏽
Jazakarallah khayran …. This was much needed knowledge for the upcoming generation who are thinking about getting married. I wish I had this insight before I took the plunge. ☺️
Wa Iyakum, Alhamdulilah 😅
Rasulallah ﷺ said: “The best of mahrs is the simplest (or most affordable).” Narrated by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3279.
Maa Sha Allah. Jazakumullahu khayran
Subhanallah may Allah guide us all and may Allah grant me righteous husband and all those who are single and may Allah bless all those who are married. Ameen
Aameen!
That was refreshing
I'm new on your chan brothers, and I have to say, it was such a humble and heartwarming talk. Our hearts tend to forget that we are in need of talks like these, may Allah grant everyone from the Ummah with companions like you all. Salam from Germany 👊👊👊
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Love it! 👍👍👍
The thing with soulmates comes from the point where we all were only souls in the beginning. And those souls that were close to you then could be the souls you meet in this world where you feel like you know this person
SubhanAllah
May Allah bless everyone with a good spouse that Allah approves of - Aameen
Dua plus action is the key
Well doesn’t happened that way god put women on earth 🌍 and it’s our own risk to find them and remember it’s up to the woman who will either choose you to marry you or not and there is always a good reason why most of the women will reject proposals
Wow 😯 that’s was amazing congratulations
Thanks
@@FairDinkumAU you’re welcome 😇
@@FairDinkumAU you’re welcome dear 🙏
Ma sha Allah. May Allah increase you all.❤️
Allahuma Ameen. And you as well
Asc..we need to know the ten quetions
Asalaamualikum thank you for covering this topic, I'm new to your podcasts, I was wondering if you can cover another aspect of this, what does an orphan female do to get married, some of us have no one to help us I'm in my 30s and I'm little lost as to how to deal with this issue in a halal way?
Liked before watching 😄
Legend 👍
Yeah, he’s a good orator, mash’Allah. His lectures/speeches are clear, coherent and to the point.
Love this sheikh so much
We do too!!
Masha Allah, I've learn alot in this interaction.
Alhamdulilah 🙏🏼
Very informative
إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ ۚ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيْهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا (56)
Mashallah, this was so insightful! May the Almighty make nikkah an easy journey for all of us Insha’Allah Ameen
Ameen!
Ameen🤲🤲
Please always type ma sha Allah with A capital
ameen
When you make dua to Allah, don’t say InShaaAllah after the dua. Just say Ameen ❤
jazakallah for the video. viewing from England
Wa iyakum, thank you from Australia 😊
ASalaam Alaaykum Waramatullah Wabarakatu. Is there a video where he say the 10 questions and you guys discuss it?
Jazak’Allah Khairan
This shekih is best, I wish he came uk 🇬🇧 I was at his lectures 😊 I love his recite surah al-naba❤️I recite it everytime I go to work 😂
Beautiful. O Allah bless all couples with divine love and alignment to find bliss / jannah in this world and the hereafter.
آمين يا رب العالمين
🙏👍🙏
I'm distracted with the teddy bear along with the books. And very great topic. Yet some principles of marriage (before) aren't tackled... In shaa Allah there would be part 2.
Jazakum Allah khayr for the beautiful interview and clever conversation Mashallah
Very entertaining to watch and definitely beneficial, practical and to the point al Hamdoulilah. The speaker is wise, cultured and knowledgeable Mashallah. The questions were great as well
If someone can help me understand the answer to the last question: we are allowed to test the other person without deception, lies or disrespect. What could be some of the good and appropriate ways to test the other person when it comes to real life scenarios and situations other than being direct or totally transparent about it?
Agree. Tests are carried out to see how one party reacts to a particular situation as the saying goes “Every action has a reaction.” The party interested in a potential spouse may carry out tests of all sorts ie to ascertain whether the individual is jealous, for instance or try to uncover other traits that usually won’t be obvious or transparent. Individuals are good at impression management so tests reveal an insight into the individual being considered. It’s a sly way of gaining an insight into a persona but marriage is a BIG investment (not necessarily financially but spiritually - religious) so one has to make the correct choice and do all the necessary checks. An individual doesn’t go into marriage thinking they’ll end up in divorce.
@@shabanatasleem1014 I understand better JazakAllah Khayr for clarification. I think it depends on the type of person that you are. I tend to be intuitive and observant. I would go about how I feel the person is but as they mentioned in the interview we can’t just assume things such as the concept for soulmates because we never know if we truly are that compatible without gaining enough evidences.
In general we would be spending enough time during engagement for exemple but maybe it happens that none of the encounters allow us to tap in some crucial elements and important personality traits. It would take some deeper digging to unfold more depth into the person’s character and morality than just “ time”. Also time has its limit, we won’t spend our life getting to know someone therefore we have to spend this time wisely.
Maybe one scenario would be for example giving them different options and see which one they go for most of the time or asking them to do some tasks when they are naturally under pressure to see how they respond when stressed.
May Allah grant us all beautiful patience and wisdom in such a process 🙏🏼
Sheikh Bilal is a lion allahumabarik lahu
This this an amazing topic to talks about jzk
Wa iyakum 🙏🏼
I love this. And i love how the younger guys are willing to learn and listen. It just shows that they take marriage serious in Islam.
The sheikh talk was very harsh but the truth subaxanallah.
When is the 10 questions episode.. coming out?
You can for all
Ain't happening 😮 i am from South India, i would never live my parents & start living separately 😊 just because we accepted modern things that doesn't mean i start keep relaxing to my will.
May Allah bless all muslims with righteous spouses.
11:00 Find someone who has similar family dynamics
guys the intro made me jump fr 😭 anyway JazakAllahu khairan !
Very informative thank you . I would like to ask the Sheikh,how a Divorced sister should go about getting remarried especially after a traumatic first marriage.
We’ll try our best to get this message to him inshaAllah
What happened in your first marriage, dear sister? Of course if u dont mind me asking
@@dinaf.k5372 my ex husband was manipulative, controlling,abusive and a pure narcissist. He had countless affairs and I was always treated in a horrible and nasty manner. As a consequence of the divorce ,I suffered with terrible anxiety and panic attacks.after so many years and receiving counselling I am alhamdulilah mentally healthy again.
16:25 three stages of attraction
I wish I heard this before I got married.
🤷♂️
You can apply what you learnt now to your marriage :)
Loved the podcast
Thank you!
Could you please go over the specific Islamic etiquette of getting to know a potential spouse? As an American revert, I find it extremely hard to understand the step by step process because a lot of information is vague. Obviously, as a revert, my parents wouldn’t be able to give guidance. I can go to someone at the mosque, but I’d love to know more specifically how it works and the nuances of it.
Thank you!
Hey, you can hear Omar Suleiman's point of view, I'm sure it'll answer your questions.
@@komailhaider5089 Don't listen to him
@@Dont-worry1618 why? He gives great advice.
If you have a good relationship with your parents then they can still give guidance. Them not being Muslim doesn't mean they can't see issues you might not notice simple from being mature and having your best interests at heart. It's important to involve them, especially your father. I hope the relationship is good so that this is possible
@@user-pb5jt6xk2mHe has a more liberal view of Islam than what is near the Prophet and Sahabah
Dear Sheikh, you should know about surah Buruc...
Let’s say someone followed all these steps. Their partner got all green flags they wanted, dated in halal way and got married. But turns out they got to be complete opposite? What about that then?
46:00 questions by the renown match maker in the Middle East, psychologist
Sheik jasim Al mutawwa3
Mashallah beautiful ❤️
Brilliant
🙏
Ma sha Allah 💐💓👏👌
Salaam SubhanAllah
Salam..Can i get link for the next video covering same topic
Salamualaykum, really enjoyed the lecture Mashallah! I wanted to ask, what is Sheikh Billal Assaad’s opinion on dating apps? And what methods would he recommend to find a spouse? Where to go, etc?
Wailakumusalam, glad you enjoyed it! Maybe shoot him a message on his socials inshaAllah
What a blessed conversation ma sha Allah!! Jaz Khairan! Please bring the sheikh back to discuss these pre marital questions and to go through scenarios ( role play maybe?) of situations to test the person s patience, deen and character. Would also love to have addressed the topic on HOW to remain happily married and on sexual topics. This is crucial and such a taboo but many Muslims want to know things such as oral sex is halal or not, use of sex toys allowed or not, can wife masturbate if sexually dissatisfied with her husband due to his low libido and she doesn’t want to divorce for the kids sake, etc. Jaz Khairan, pardon me but I want to be straightforward. Assalamualeikum wa wa b
Alhamdulilah, glad you enjoyed the episode!
These suggestions have been noted inshaAllah
True, l would also want to know......
@@waldahsulaiman6525 Gabriel Romani mentions this topics in his videos
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته.
Next time plz bring Muhammad Hoblos,with sheikh Bilal Assad
7 deal breakers you would never tolerate in a marriage/person for the rest of your life
I make dua that bilal asad comes to Washington! He is such a gem may Allah reward him and increase him in ilm
InshaAllah your dua is answered!
JazakAllah khair
14:13
15:21
23:26
50:59
If somebody is respectfu to their parents, they gonna be respectful to you INN SHA ALLAH most likely. If they're rude to their parents they gonna be more rude to you because you will never equal their parents.
I love that statement
Allah Humma Barik
which one is Ashraf? In relation to the example, he gave on being comfortable.
For those of us that are specifically looking…
Mahr is at the 9:00 mark
I'm a revert to islam . I love my husband's family but have a complex life at the moment
May Allah make it easy for you inshaAllah
Inshaallah
what are the 10 questions to ask 😅
Been trying to get married for many years now. At this point I feel like it's a game of minesweeper where I just see redflags. Impossible to find someone online and too shy to approach in real life.
it’s so hard, i know. May Allah make ur easter for us all
no reason to be shy, ask your local imam
@@wealthwisdom1656 not always that simple.
@@karzan4784 did you try?
May Allah make it easy for you bro!
how to control our emotion ?