God awful pickup lines
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- Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
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edited by nina: / @lxurel
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Help
Nah
No
Im a buy one right now🙂
No
I think the agonizing silence after each sentence with the Herseys kiss guy shortened my lifespan
It was so cringe and creepy
I'm not even a girl and I creeped out by that
It so funny because a FEW of his videos are kinda cute but 99.99% of them are just 😟… any half of his comments love it rfinrfjifr
he always looks like he’s on the verge of tears in every single video like- idk how to explain it but he just looks like he’s about to cry or in the middle of crying and just wiped his face but you can still see the tears in his eyes
@@cloudy4379 THIS
"Do you like sleeping?"
"yeah."
"I do too. We should do it together sometime"
that's the best i've got
It's very good can i steal it please thank you
What if I don’t like sleeping
@@fart63 HOW
Bro that is so smooth...
“On separate beds”
Kwite: I'm 5'5. That's tiny, fun-sized, minuscule, a pathetic excuse of a man, whatever you want to call it.
Me, a man who's 5'4: I'm him but his genetics were more merciful
High five! I'm 4'9, we can start a club!
@@shortea7892 Heyo! ✋
@@shortea7892 I'm pretty sure you're dwarf tier. Just bulk up, grow a bushy beard and you're rolling.
@@shortea7892 you're gonna have some people with a very specific fetish thirsting at you you know
Me who’s a 4’10 trans guy 😭
"are you a microwave? Bcs MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMH MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMH" Is the best of all
W
*beep*
*beep*
*BEEP*
My microwave can sing bambis parts in thearchy
Ty ty that was mine
Kwite's go to phrase for bad is "God awful".
I mean… It’s a good descriptor
@@JackWrath-sq4bd 3 minutes and 6 seconds of why you have no friends ua-cam.com/video/mCfYi7634rU/v-deo.html
WAW 2 sussy links!
He’s from Ohio
@@urmomgettingsmashed2706 Ohio slayy 👴💅
“I’m 5’5, that’s tiny...” and that hurt. - A person who is definitely not 5’3.
Me, at 4'11: *Chuckles*
Me, at 5’1 : Giggles 🤭
Me at 3’6 snickers
Me at 2’4: snorts
Me at 5'10: Soccer go brrrr
Not sure if this counts but I once had a 30 year old man tell me, "You're so pretty, did you eat like ten barbies or something?" Mmm yes, because I love the feeling of plastic cutting my throat when I eat. Oh and I'd like to mention that he tried to gaslight me into thinking I was not, in fact a minor and that it was ok for him to be flirting with me. I still laugh at that to this day.
mf really said “nooo you’re not a minorrrr you aren’t under 18 if the cops don’t find outttt 😁😁”
@@wozaow really💀
i too enjoy eating plastic
@@cryingchild4209 omg twinzies🤭🤞
I'm sorry, he tried to what now 😭💀
I went through a phase of looking up sewer-slide based pick up lines lol. "Are you death? Because I long for your sweet embrace." "Are you a gravestone? Because I want you on top of me." "You remind me of a noose; you take my breath away, and I can't wait to hang out." etc
That’s not even the worst thing people have said
bit off topic but I hate how people say sewer-slide instead of just saying suicide. "sewer-slide" just sounds like anal sex after taco bell. what happened to wanting to become "an hero"?
the pickup line I invented:
“hey, girl, are you a Buzzfeed quiz? cause I wanna figure out which Disney princess you are based on your favorite spreads on sandwiches”
Damn
ohhhhh I get it
wait what
huh..
I hate that I just did that quiz a few hours ago
“Admitting that I’ve consumed hundred of hours of FNAF lore is the third hardest thing I’ve had to come out as”
Seems like we have the whole set of ‘things Kwite has had to come out as’:
-Bisexual
-Furry
-FNAF fan
Aren't those the same things?
Oh fnaf aint a secret, hes got a thing going on with springtrap
Hardest thing: furry
Second hardest thing: 5'5"
Third hardest thing: FNAF enjoyer
Easiest thing: bisexual
He also came out as a fanfic reader
@@silverdandylmao I forget about the spring trap stuff until I check the comments, and I am cursed with it again.
I have a very bad pickup line that you may have to do research to understand…. “Are you radium? Because you make my jaw drop”
*oh no-*
im stealing this.
BRO I'M DEAD 💀
@@joshc5613 so is Eben
BRUHHHH 💀💀💀💀
Congrats on the sponsor, but I will say that chemical exfoliants like salicylic acid or BHA are better for your skin than 'manual' exfoliants, because those can cause mircotears on your skin, over time causing your skin to get worse than when you started.
(Source: used to be a teen with awful acne)
As long as you use manual exfoliants infrequently, they’re just fine- using them on the daily/bi-daily is when an issue occurs. Chemical exfoliants can sometimes be more irritating, so it just depends on the person! ~a fellow past acne victim
I just feel like you should not buy anything that is advertised on UA-cam. If they got the money it is probably a scam, if it was good they would not need to advertise it and I also want to spite them just to feel like I have more controll on my life than I actually do.
yeah, in my experience physical exfoliants never even work that well anyways? whereas if you get a chemical exfoliant you can usually see results pretty quickly. just a personal anecdote and it likely depends on the person, but it's something to keep in mind.
I swear he reused the same sponsor clip
@@speed9553 he literally did! i was waiting for someone to point it out 😭 kinda funny and on brand for him tho tbh
“Are you a chippy? Because you can batter my sausage!”
- My friend, 2022
I love your friend
Rizz god 🤑
@Chad 007 w
I can smell the britishness
@Checkmark giga chad kwite
You're a dermatologist, I have skin, it's a perfect match!
hi
Was scrolling and I saw someone I recognized and than felt even worse
I once used "Anyone ever tell you you're a weapon of mass distraction?"
...it worked.
just today i was drawing you and describing how tall and handsome you were to my friend, now knowing im actually taller than you gives me such a strange feeling of power
Gonna throw out my go-to here "Are you a fine wine? Because I want to keep you locked in my cellar for 30 to 50 years"
Are you fine wine? Because I don’t drink 👍
"Then spent half a minute testing you before spitting you out ✨✨💕"
Once when i was sitting by an abandoned KFC while contemplating how empty my bank account was, a dude came up to me saying "i like the symmetry of your face..."
that's some shit a man who wants to keep your skull as a trophy would say 💀
heather mcnamara moment
I picked up my boyfriend with the pick up line of "hey, can you enchante this?(picture of a minecraft diamond sword) because you've already enchanted me" he laughed and here we are :)
aw thats adorable :D i might use that if i ever find anyone worth liking lmao
@@ConiferConnieTreeCow thank you!! Hope that if you find that someone, it works :D
9:49 that's literally how my bf asked me out and it worked 😭. Sure it was worded way better but it was super similar.
Basically since I'm tall as hell and he's short he said "Every squirrel needs a tree to store its nuts in" mid conversation and I asked if he was flirting and he said yes and now we've been dating for almost half a year now.
Aww
My girlfriend told me this one:
Her: "Do you like eggs?"
Me: "Yeah?"
Her: "Then you'd like me."
I think I'm gonna marry her.
Try the Mississippi line on her and see what she says
She is egg?
@@dakotawarner9414 She can make 79 different delicious meals with eggs.
@@justafurrywithinternet317 that's impressive ;-;
I think you really should matry her
Kwite probably won't read this, but I really want him to know that bosom means a woman's chest/breasts, and not the ass. Skill issue, dude. 7:24
My shitty pickup line is "Are you a crime? Cuz I wanna be gay, do you."
How could Kwite be desperately lonely when he has Springtrap?
Since Kwite said his pickup line to the camera, almost directly into my eyes, shall I take that as direct request for me to top him?
You mean us 😏
@@0ueddecillion718 I mean I guess after
"hey, you seem like a hard worker, and I have a opening you can fill"
Best one I got
that first guy has to be satire at this point please 😭
My favourite pickup line: ‘If you were a triangle you’d be an ugly one’
I am Aro/Ace if you couldn’t tell lmao
Knowing kwite short such a weird feeling like,the camera is eye to eye ,completely lined up,but most of his viewer base would actually need to look down to actually see him eye to eye
A guy actually said this to me (via text):
“Hey girl I’m jealous of your heart because it’s pounding inside you instead of me”
I had a "you look just like my dead gf" once from a random sus looking guy with a sausage in his hand. Made me remember Hanibal series and feel like Will Graham
i once had a guy tell me 'you know i've never been just friends with a girl. it's always been dating' with a lot of undertone. imagine how shook he was to find out i'm genderqueer. i just wish he hadn't moved before i could tell him i'm aroace
goddamn, that's not a pickup line, that's a red flag!
5:52
OH MY GOD HE SHOUTED ME OUT OMGHHVHUFHVLTXDTTKSFMSKFSKTS
Oh thank God a Kwite video, I'm off my meds and I desperately needed the serotonin I get from this cursed content
Hey, really hope you're doing ok and, if it brings you any comfort, know that you aren't alone (as cheesy as it sounds). I feel you, going off meds can be super disruptive and shitty. Cursed content serotonin is best serotonin tbh
Thanks, I got my meds today so should level out in a day or two. But really, thank you.
2:05 Bruh I love how "Paul" sounds exactly like the portuguese word "pau" which is a slang Brazilians use to describe a penis 💀💀
It also just means stick so it's also slang in english
“What has 128 teeth?” Me after geting back fron chernobyl.
6:05 bruh what😭
He found out how to unfuck the Thanksgiving turkey
1:27 istg im now going to use that word in any way i can cuz god imagine some 14 inch subway
Kwite and kurtis combo lets go 💪💪
0:40 the way he treats his lips tho those lips have seen it all
"On a scale of 1 to bald eagle, how free are you tonight?" - An old coworker of mine that was friends with my older brother at one point
Worst pickup line I ever got was when a friend (not anymore) suddenly asked if I’d be willing to gain weight for him and be his “chubby girlfriend”
He was being 100% serious
I’d rather get the Mississippi line
7:31
as a pansexual, i can confirm this is true
"Most people call me Robbie, but you can call me anytime."
~Robbie
😎
Me: *gets a really bad acne attack today*
Kwite: “hey here’s a skincare routine ad”
Damm boi perfect timing
6:20 he said over easy and I heard Ovaries and didn't even bat an eye 💀
this dude's pick up line for me was "Norwegians are very pretty, like you" cause i knew how to speak Norwegian (i live in america but my great-grandparents were immigrants)
i told my partner the same pickup line four times in less than a minute. then they read the letter i gave them asking them out. they, for some reason, still said yes. i say the pickup line as much as possible. it's been almost three months and i've said it probably 50 times
the pickup line "instead of tripping and falling, you can trip and fall for me." yes it's bad on purpose
The best part of this video is that the sponsor is for facial care and the UA-camr that they chose to sponsor uses a mask in all of his videos
My favorite pickup line (that I came up with) is "Hey, are you desperate? Cos I'm willing to settle."
I could be your Hershey's kiss 💀
A personal favorite
"Do you need a stud in your life? Because I got the STD, all I need is U"
As a 5'2" chic, I am stealing Kwite's stolen pickup line
Can't wait to have all these pick up lines as my status on discord
"repeating dialogue you read in a self-insert fanfic"
*chokes on soda
IM DEAD BECAUSE THAT'S HOW IT READS FR some people think the world revolves around them😂
How in the hell did he get a sponsorship for face care without showing his face???
My friend and I were joking about how he would end up on the bachelor and 2 days later one of the popular girls turns out to like him and was too embarrassed to say anything to him directly
The boys flipped
Kwite being sponsored by Tiege Hanely, the company owned and started by Alpha M whom Kwite made a video mocking, is hilarious to me. Also kind of wholesome since I feel like there must have been a positive "let bygones be bygones" moment somewhere along the line.
the first one is most definitely a threat lock ur doors
10:43 Where is it, Kwite? Where is it?
Im currently watching this at school in the middle of the class with the risk of getting caught by teachers but i must follow the sentient hoody's orders
Love when you just wake up and the "Did you know you haven't subscribed" card at the beginning reads as "Subscriber hell notifications" and you have to do a double take and realize it's "subscriber bell"..... Like I know it says subscriber bell, but my brain legit read subscriber hell..... Which I guess could also be accurate, this is a Kwite video after all....
I think the best/worst one I've ever heard (which to this day I don't know if the guy was joking or not) goes along the lines of,
"Just call me baby, cuz Im going to be inside you for a long time"
I wish I was joking, my dudes 😃
There's something about a person asking "Whats ur pronouns?" Makes me feel something I cannot explain.
whats your pronouns? :]
10:20 Why did you say that exactly like Peter Griffin? Great video BTW.
I’m watching this while high off my ass on cough syrup cause I underestimated my tolerance and how strong that shut was
Bruh I forgot I’ve seen this video and came across my comment on accident 😂😂😂 follow the instructions of the bottle kids
My favorite has got to be “you must be my pinky toe, because I’m going to bang you on all my furniture”
Ok that one is actually funny
i went into this video looking for something to send my girlfriend, came out of it realizing none of this was socially acceptable,
video true to the title
"I like computers too! Wanna get plugged into a genius?"
And I was all like "Cute, but your software is not compatible. NERD!"
😆
The best pickup line is Gianni's "Oh Hey Babe *Shits Aggressively"
Kwite how the actual f*ck do you get serious sponsors with content like this. This makes me think anyone can get content on UA-cam working. Inspiring
Once read a post of someone proposing to carve your phone number into a potato and roll it towards your person of interest.
That might actually work on me, simply because of how random it is.
Another one was writing your number on a lime, handing it to your crush and saying "It's a pick-up lime".
Mmmm, dunno if I like that one.
I like the lime one purely because of the audacity.
“Did it hurt when you fell from the sky? Because you look like a dead bird”
1:21 I’m taller than kwite finally I’m taller than someone
"are you my friend's younger sibling? because i'm going to sell you on the black market for 20p."
I’ve just learned that me and kwite are the same height and I’ve never been happier
Stay strong short Kings
"girl are you a microwave? because" *ad starts playing*
my best pick up line is "i think i might be a cannible because i want to eat you in and out" (im sorry if i make anyone uncunfortable)
I’ve heard Kwite being called short but I just now realized how short he is lol
That's why he needs those extra few inches up him
Sometimes I forget Kwite is gay and he'll randomly imply it (like with the pickup line) and every time I get hit by a metaphorical truck
10:05 LMFAO THATS MY FRIEND AND THEIR PARTNER-
9:03 so hes the guy who keeps coating public toilet stools in piss
Me when I try to flirt
Bruh me and my friend have literally sat in a call for an hour+ just arguing about fnaf lore
I’m so upset that there are so many people who think the bosom is the ass.
They call me liver cancer, cuz I’m so bad for you 😩
"Are you a newly built train? Cause I'd love to be the one to rail you" has got to be the worst I can think of
My is
"Wanna play little nightmares 3 together when it comes out? 🥺"
No need to compliment my amazing rizz❤
7:02 kwites cheating on spring trap
"Are you a video game "
"Because I leveled up"
My friend said to his crush and they're together
How?
"skill issue just get better rng next time."
bro i chose this trait and its like i picked fucking hardcore
2:05 you called?
You make me laugh. You're naturally so funny.
How did Kwite know I'm changing up my face wash routine?!?!?! (I'm kidding, the world doesn't revolve around me, that's Kwite's job)
"I think there is a max cap to teeth"
Sharks:
if someone sent me the one in the thumbnail, i’d honestly give them a chance lmao
ngl the thumbnail is actually pretty okay as a pickup line
So about a half sub shorter than me. Personality matters more anyway. My brother's the one everyone notices in a room and he's not exactly a giant either.
BRUH THE FIRST DUDE SCARY AS FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE CAMERA STOP SMILING I FEEL THREATENED