Dr. Gabor Maté: The SHOCKING Link Between Trauma and Life Expectancy!
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- Опубліковано 19 тра 2024
- Today, I'm honored to welcome renowned expert on addiction, trauma, and childhood development, Dr. Gabor Maté back to the podcast. Gabor speaks profoundly on the complexities of human emotions, navigating fear, and how to live life authentically.
In this conversation, Gabor shares the top five regrets of dying people, and empowers us to live a life aligned with our deepest values.
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:01 How Do We Fix Broken People?
08:12 The "Small, Still Voice" In Our Heads
15:12 What Are the Emotions People Experience Most Often?
24:53 How Can You Help Someone Who Refuses to Be Helped?
31:51 How Living Authentically Honors Your Relationships
41:26 Embracing "Unfamiliar Pain"
46:10 The Hierarchy of Trauma
56:31 Can I Continue to Grow?
01:07:11 Gabor's Wish For Humanity
If you like this conversation, you'll love my interview with world leading relationship therapist, Esther Perel 👉 • World Leading Relation...
Episode Resources:
The Myth Of Normal: www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Il...
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Want to learn to coach like Jay Shetty? Discover how here: gtly.to/PMlHc6JZw
Dr. Gabor Maté is the brother, father, grandfather or friend we all need in our life.
Agreed!
No thanks. Will do well without him.
I totally agree !!!!
This man’s words Save Lives ❤
Thank you for this elder of wisdom. Just let him speak . You will learn more and so will we. But you must do your own work so to not get in the way of the flow . IAM 75 and retired counselor. You are very young and just beginning . Don't try to be popular for likes etc and fear not making money in the podcast game. We can feel and see this. Just relax and go with the flow.😊
This man is 80 and his mind is sharp. Take care of your mental health guys. Start now, it’s never too late. Sending love to everyone 💕💕
Gabor is 80 years old.....wow. Had no clue. This is amazing, and he has greatly increased my education regarding my own. Been a hectic process, but so rewarding.
I’m 40 and I’m messed up from the day I was born and always in domestic violence I’m struggling to survive but I have 2 small children too
I didn't realize he was 80. I thought he looked like he had a very hard life, wow! Not 9nly does he look great, but he's still working? What a blessing. One on one therapy is so necessary. Ofcourse the HMOs won't pay for it.
Please bring him more on your show Dr Mate is a gift to humanity .
yes please ❤
He’s the human whisperer. ❤
“Underneath the brokeness, there is wholeness” ❤ this got me crying ❤ so beautiful ❤
Gabor has a beautiful soul and so do you ❤
@@Sadbuttrue-ThatSwedishGirl Thank you, you as well ❤️
There is always hope 😢
"You can be yourself or you can be accepted" - what a truth bomb about certain trauma responses
Feeling accepted = feeling loved...therefore, some opt for being accepted.
Adding to the point that one can hold two opposing beliefs at the same time..
Well l am reminded that while Jesus christ died for our sins, to save us. The bible says that belief in christ alone is what saves us....but at the same time we are sinners..
So at the same time we are sinners and saints by Jesus life resurection, belief that while sinners he loves us..
I cant thank you enough. Gods divine gift to even find this come up in my feed. I have never healed from my many forms of abuse. I could never be present, happy or want to live. Tens of thousands of dollars seeking help. Alcoholism taking my life just to become exactly like my main perpetrators.
I felt validated. I felt hope. I felt powered by this and thank God you both are on this earth. Especially my fellow Canadian. God bless you and all of us that are worthy to not identify wotj our trauma but to create our own lives and help others by our stories
Dr. Gabor Maté is a gift. The true human whisperer ❤
Gabor is a treasure - I met him personally, he is one of today’s sages, his wisdom illuminates and helps us to understand why we are the way we are and what can we do about it. The fact that he is a MD gives him a unique perspective on today’s society… love and respect ❤
When I listen to Dr. Mate it just touches my soul. I’m trying to heal my autoimmune disease that I’m sure stemmed from inner turmoil. Thank you so much for both of your wisdom.
Wishing you wellness and joy on your journey.
You will get through this!@@jellyrcw12
I'm just curious because I'm trying to help my husband too, have you had a good cry about it? Have you let yourself express the grief you've had since you didn't get what you needed in your childhood?
Yea I´m on a similar jornney since 7 years, it seems like nothing really works
@@jellyrcw12 Thanks
I started getting clean the day I watched your interview with him about his newest book. It really opened my eyes... 6 years clean and I relapsed and went down a bad rabbit hole the past 9 months due to struggling to heal from losing my mother thank you two!
You are strong . You are brave . You made it soo far and that’s incredible. More power to you my friend !!
Stay strong yonniewoods. I'm 41/2 years clean after nearly 50 years of unimaginable chaos. I know you're walking a tightrope but I also know that you're not alone. Peace be with you.
Never give up my friend. I have been exactly where you are and I know it hurts and you feel hopeless sometimes but you are human and we make mistakes. Don’t dwell on yesterday and don’t let your mistakes define your future. You slipped, so what you survived and you have a new chance to live your life. All anyone has is 24 hours my friend so please don’t give up and get back on your path
Just read ur comment good luck and I honestly wish you good health congrats on ur journey so far. You are loved😊
So glad you made it BACK! ♥
Our true voice is the voice of the soul, the longing for inner peace.
I've never had one day of peace in my 60 years on earth. 😢😢
This man has changed my life, in the last few years dealing with so much that caused so much anxiety it became hard to go on. Thank you Gabor for making me see the full picture of what was happening to me and thus a way through it. Amazing healer and man!
I am 53 years old and still going through mental illness and trauma. Since i started listening Dr Gabor Matte , i feel like living and i started learning about myself ,my life traumas. Thankyou for this show.
Hearing Dr Mate remind us that we say *growing* older has been a revelation for me as I hit middle age. I've encountered so many people who have just been defeated by the narrative that 'it's all downhill from here' or that we 'can't teach an old dog new tricks'. Yet neuroplasticity shows us we can change and improve at all ages. To *grow* older is a call to action and brings hope.
💯
I love this reply
❤
Nobody describes trauma and the connect/ disconnect from one's true self better than Dr. Mate. When he talks, it feels as if he is walking inside my soul and explaining the tiniest details that even I could not describe... the pain, the feeling of regaining one's self after a long period of internal chaos... thank you dr. MATE.
I would love another 2-3 hour talk on authentic self alone. He is such a wonderful teacher
"the most common form of fear in humans is anxiety" i had to stop IN MY TRACKS - every interview i see of Dr. Maté leaves me in tears.. he gives rational and order to the deepest of human feelings and sensations
i agree with everyone here, he's a gift to humanity
Ok so why does the child who had a rough first 3 years do better? He says something about the child is the father of the man...wtf does that mean?
After your first interview I decided to buy the book ,,The Myth of Normal". English is not my native language so I spend a lot of time translating to understead every word. At first I was irritated because I wanted to read it immediately! But later I realized that Book has deeper value than I thought and reading it is a real journey. Just like listening to you on your channel. I would like you to thank you very much to invititing Gabor Mate to interview and thank you for create a space to inspire people about well-being from all over the world!
I have had the privilege of watching & reading Dr Mates books. I have learned much abt leaving a 24 yr marriage to someone with addiction.
His trauma was no longer mine to hold. Many relapse/recovery.
At 73 yrs young I have begun my next act with gratitude for what was & feel blessed for what I am learning about myself.TY for this content, journeys
we must go through to come out on the other side. With much caring I pray my ex finds them
I can't help but feel the universe led me here. I was just talking about how my childhood trauma keeps resurfacing today and then, this video pops up that was published just a day ago. I just purchased the book recommended titled The Myth of Normal. Wishing all viewers hope and well-being. Never lose hope....❤
What's normal to the spider is chaos to the fly
This is a (rare) example of a guest who will share worthy, valuable and useful information. So happy to see you choosing someone who doesn’t have an egotistical agendas!
Dr. Gabor Mate is the greatest
agreed!
Broken people are not really broken. They are hurt and need healing. Me too. Brightest Blessing.
Dr Maté is a treasure to humanity ❤️
First you must accept it. Accept whatever it is that burdens you completely. The key here, is to see yourself in third person. When you have this insight (perception), then you will find it’s easier then to forgive. True forgiveness is to forgive yourself - that’s when you know that trauma from within is healed.
Always a pleasure to listen to Dr. Mate his voice is so calm. Another great interview! 🎉 I’m glad Dr. Mate recognizes his own need to enjoy feeling happy more.
Glad you enjoyed the episode!
And yet ive not once in all the videos ive watched seen him smile or look happy. It often leaves me wondering how is he really. He looks sad to me. Unable to smile. Looks can be deceiving though. I hope he does feel happy
Awesome! Thanks! Gabor Maté interviews are always rich in knowledge.
We needed another interview with Dr. Gabor Mate!
Agreed!
After a major mental breakdown 7 months ago and now been diagnosed with BPD CPTSD I am now at 52 learning for the first time who I truly am, my authentic self, I was just given Dr Gabor Mate name to listen to and this is resonating so much! I have hope that I will find my way back to me one day but it has taken me until know to know it’s ok to ask for help and it’s ok to take the time to take this time for me! Thank you for your amazing mind and your passion!
My parents were Hungarian refugees, ( My last name is from my marriage to a Spaniard.) I enjoy topics on self- help and psychology, Dr. Mate is brilliant and a treasure... Koszonom! Thank you!
Gabor is so wonderful 🫡 To weep for the holocaust and as a consequence have strong sense of justice for all human suffering is the natural response of human compassion… it is mind boggling to me how so many learnt about past genocides and it simply made them fearful humans that say if injustice is happening to other ppl it means all is good and I sm winning
I love this man so much
God save him at all costs ❤🙏
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporesss
Your conversations with Gabor are an oasis of peace for the rest of us too.
Jay, brother, you literally saved me from the hell i have been going through. Your words and work heals me. Very blessed to live in the same time you live. I love Dr.Gabor mate too. His work plays a vital role in my healing journey too. If possible record more sessions with him in the future. I can listen to you both for hours. Again thank you so much for being you,to choose this path to help us... Thank you so much brother God bless you...🤍🌸✨
Very well said, and likewise. Hope you’re healing and on your journey for growth, stay bless 🙏
I really loved the chemistry/connection between the Two of you! I hope there will be more episodes to come with Dr. Máté Gábor! Köszönöm! Thank you 🤍
Thank you!
You are both absolute gems. I have been on my healing journey for 5 years after understanding I had huge huge attachment issues due to childhood and challenging relationships throughout my life. I have become far more vulnerable with who I am.. from an honest prospective of myself. I was wearing a mask as a ‘high functioner’ for years to prove myself ‘successful & worthy’.
Thank you both xxx
I have watched several of Dr Mate’s interviews but I noticed that Jay Shetty is so intelligent in asking questions. It’s so satisfying to listen to both of you. Keep it up!
Gabor is the most sweetest caring compassionate man on the planet ❤ he’s a genius when it comes to understanding how trauma from childhood affects the adult .. and what he’s been through himself in the past doesn’t bear thinking about 😞
His life work, insights, knowledge and perspective helped me so much with things and trauma I am dealing at my home. He is so inspirative and has such a kind soul. This world needs more people like him. It is yearning for empathy and kindness Gabor is providing. Thank you for that. I hope I will help someone in the future like you are helping me. ❤
This is totally what Monday needs ❤
Yes!
Just amazing. Dr Mate just touches our soul. The delivery of whatever he wishes to say is so potent.
His voice... So calm and speaking to heart. Such a great mental counselor
From waking live through prayer and realizations from presence of awareness, awareness of consciousness of presences of self. ❤❤❤
I mean presence of Self.❤❤❤
I believe I am 💯 and really struggle with sounds and noise. Neighbours are a real problem for me as well as traffic and even birds…. Yes birds in a tree chirping like they are using a microphone!
This video was great x
We’re so incredibly grateful to have had Gabor back on the show. How can you implement some of his insights in your day-to-day lives?
I’d like to invite you to join this community and subscribe to the channel. By hitting the 'Subscribe' button, you're not just becoming a subscriber - you're choosing to make a positive difference in your life.
Thanks for your hard work brother. All the love to you
@@dhaighy😊
I just found you and subscribed today. Dr. Mate is our Canadian treasure 🇨🇦
Powerful message. Let's heed Dr. Gabor Maté's call and embrace our full potential. Inspiring words for a brighter future.
There were so many gems dropped in this episode, I love how Jay really encouraged Dr Gabor to open up!
The last few years this insistence that no one is broken has come up more and more.
The message behind it is very clear, that everyone is repairable; that no one is left behind as long as we attend to each other in healthy and compassionate ways.
In my experience so far, words carry a great deal of power.
For some folks, telling them they are not broken is empowering, for others, deflating. Some already traumatized people will hear, "There's nothing wrong with you, get over it." Others hear that they're stupid for not understanding, the concept being so far away from their style of interpretation, their ability to shift attitude.
The truth is, while none of us is a machine, if a bicycle can't spin it's wheels, it's broken. If a radio can't emit sound it also is broken.
"Disconnection", a word used here in the video, is a breakup or disunion. Brokenness. That doesn't mean dead.
In accepting there is a brokenness we can seek healing which will as a natural byproduct allow wholeness to express itself (I always think of an espresso machine in my mind and can smell the coffee beans!).
There is no shame in being broken, thank God. It gives others the opportunity to practice their humanity. To come and offer healing to those so wounded that they cannot help themselves. It also gives a broken person the opportunity to be vulnerable and ask for help.
When I feel genuinely broken; helpless, the first thing I need is to be witnessed and heard as that, as how I feel, not as you judge me to be. And then I need the love and wisdom of those who have gone before me and found the reparation required to arrive once again at the expression of wholeness, the mending and setting of broken bones that are rebar for that expression.
Dr. Gabor,so much love and respect for you 🙏🏼 God bless you.
I’ll never get tired of listening to Doc speak on these topics. ❤
Have been reading the Myth of Normal to take agency over my autoimmune conditions. I really appreciate the insightfulness of Gabor Maté.❤ Thank you Jay Shetty for enriching our lives. Very grateful.
This one is hard. I've never had trouble with listening to, seeing through and even repeating your podcasts but this 1, ha-ah. 24 mins in and I have to take a break. The tears feel almost uncontrollable.
Praying for super natural healing for you as you process words of wisdom. ❤
His knowledge is so meaningful and so profound. And his voice soothes me! It is almost lullaby ish to me.
I wish everyone was as understanding as this brilliant man
Jay I am a big fan of your Podcast, thanks for bringing back Dr.Gabor Mate, he is such a wise soul, I love the peace and deep knowledge he transmits when he talks. I share with my mom the content of your interviews every time I call her since she is a Psychologist and it’s very interested in your content as well but she doesn’t speak English, so I have to translate , it would be very lovely if some day you could have subtitles for the Spanish speaking community and for many others languages so the wisdom could be spread worldwide. Thanks for sharing amazing content as always 🙏
His voice is so relaxing and soothing. He could read his book as bedtime stories
This was one of my favorite interviews ever. He said some things that I really needed to hear, at this point in my life.
Dr Gabor - you are the last of the truly greats . God bless you Dr .
scrolled aimlessly and had nothing to watch before coming across this video. I didn’t want to watch it at first because dr mate’s content can be quite heavy for a Monday afternoon (hahaha). but no regrets as always!!! both of you are indefinitely gems to the world because of your vulnerability, thank you for being a light to many ❤
Been dealing with regret lately and it is heavy hard for me and addictions that dinit know could effect others. When Gabor says, Because I do care what I do and how It effects other people. I can relate it aligns with how I want to show up in the world to have a positive impact and be a good ancestor who I used to be so lively with joy. Intentions the truth integrity on a spiritual level prayers that everything is going to be alright
This is the first video that popped up on my app! I’m so happy!!!
My favourite psychological and human being Dr GM ! Thanks JS for the great conversation 🙏
I'm at a loss for words to express how meaningful this conversation is to me. I feel hopeful that I can continue my healing journey. Thank you, Dr. Mate for clarifying the nuances. I received important insight from them.🙏🏽 A million thanks, Jay, for being a true seeker of truth, an excellent host, and facilitating the kind of conversations from guests that are devoted to help humanity! This is one of my favorite conversations by far across the board!! I'll be listening on repeat, so I don't miss even a fraction of this insight. Bless each of you!!❤️🩹💜
Love Gabor Mate, Thank you so much Jay. ❤ The idea of being able to hold two opposing ideas in one's heart could not be more critical in our polarised world. I feel this is the key to peace, empathy and fostering better mutual understanding.
I'm so grateful for Jay's podcast. Gabor you are a healer and have touch many lives including mine. Thank you. 💞
thank you both and all the people around you so much!
Dearest Dr Mate Gabor and Jay Shetty from my heart I am so grateful to u both for sharing such profound observations of the link between heart and body absolutely amazing ☀️❤️☀️🙏⭐️⭐️⭐️May we continue to share ur light 🍀🍀🍀
I was never the same person after hearing Gabor speak a few years ago. He completely blew open my perspective.. 💙✌️
Simply wow - Dr. Gabor Mate is one of the most profound speakers on these deep questions relating to our humanity and how we function in our emotions that I have ever heard. Thank you for life changing insights. 💕💐
Dr Mate & Jay has perfectfuly explained the life expectancy & diving into the core of humanity identity to identify the greatness Jay's audience needs to keep growing in this dragon year! Keep up the great work
Thank you so much for sharing so much knowledge to helps us be the best version of ourselves!
Is nice to see Gabor so relaxed during a conversation. I really enjoy it ❤. The dance is always more important then the actual words ❤
Buddha once said “dukh is is inevitable but suffering is a choice “ I am an Indian living in India realised for the first time after my breast cancer showed up! And I have made my acceptance and peace and so am happy from its learnings ! You formulate my thoughts very well !
When it’s so easy to be honest with your feelings why complicate or tire yourself with being artificial !
I thought I was cool tough and honest going fulll speed at my work being mother and being busy . Till I got a good slap across my whole being at finding out about my cancer . I still believe being and early found not genetically supported and curable ,, I got it from the Covid vaccine in 2022! I am 74+
I got my Covid in May 2023 for the first time after my vaccination ! What about that . I am really open to hear about it !
This new painlessness is ress as ly an artificially brought about treatments to numb our concions! Dependence may be Mutual and not contrived to be honest to oneself I have felt . And it does not have to be tit for tat ! 🙏
@@jayoopatwardhan4040one of my dear friends had the same thing. A very aggressive cancer a couple months after the jab. She didn't make it.
Thank you for hosting Dr Mate. An amazing Dr and human being. Just to listen to him is therapeutic , calming and inspiring ❤
That was so good to listen to. I took all that in like a sponge honestly I couldn't get enough of it. Thankyou.
Dr gabor mate has explained all the things that as i child i couldn't in this interview. His knowledge and words are blessing to so many peoples lives.
This man is a Pandora’s box of Wisdom and understanding. Glad he shares it. ❤️❤️❤️
I admire this man ❤. So human and sensitive.
No one does a better interview 🩵
So awesome! Currently reading his book. He is truly an inspiration. I'm starting my healing journey and I'm more eager to trust the process this time because of him. Thank you!
I love this man so much ❤ you are changing the world for the better, Dr Maté
This man has the power and knowledge to heal humanity 🙏
God bless Dr Gabor !🩷
Great interview so deep! PART 3 NEEDED!!! Thank you guys 💯
Thank you very much for this beautifull conversation❤
Love Dr Gabor Matte. Thanks for the lovely episode
I start reading Matè's books after your first podcast with this powerful man! You rock JayShetty because I feel as you are the only one who let Matè be in peace with himself in an interview
Brilliant!! Absolutely eye opening and amazing,so much wisdom in this interview Jay and in this man!! Powerful!! ❤Thanks so much jay
I love Dr. Gabor voice so much, so soothing and the content WOW! Thank you so much Jay! xo
Jay : you are the best interviewer of all time , thank you for all of your work and thank you both for this great video, we need to hear this, we need to be reminded to stop people pleasing !
Such an amazing eposide! Thank you so much for making it!
Wow I love this episode so much ! We are blessed to have you both ❤
Gabor's description of what it means to not be responsible for how others' feel is helpful.
So many people take that at face value and simply behave without regard for how their actions impact folks.
Thank you for taking the time to lay it out.
I am responsible for my own actions and responses in the world, and when they align with good living and good relationship, then I can say your interpretation and feelings are your own.
Such a wise man and such a true perspective on human potential that it's just blow your mind!!!
listening to dr. mate speak has really inspired me to look deeper into myself and my past whenever im triggered,, and im slowly realizing that what i need in those moments is the compassion you’d give to a child rather than the self hatred ive been living with since i was 8 years old . i feel my mindset and health shifting in a better direction and for that im forever grateful 🙏🏽
Jay !!! every episode is even better than the previous one. Thank you !!!!!
This is the best podcast by far for me. The knowledge Dr. Gabor has is indisputable. I now watched it twice. Also, he has a very soothing voice, which helps. Thank you, Jay, for making this podcast 🙏 🙌 😊
Love love love your episodes we Dr. Gabor Maté. He is truly amazing.
truly!
Love you Gabor and Jay! This will be great! Thank you
I love him soo much😭😭😭 listened all his podcasts
Gabor feels like comfort to me.....thanks jay for doing this wonderful work❤❤❤❤ lots of love from Bangladesh 🇧🇩🇧🇩🇧🇩💞💞💞💞
Appreciative of the openness, legacy, and work of both of you! Continued blessings and mahalo!
Thank you!