I Found Out My Dad's Not My Biological Father Through A DNA Test • Part 1
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- Опубліковано 13 гру 2018
- When Sam got her family DNA tests for the holidays, she had no idea it would completely change her life. Follow her on her journey to find her biological father.
This is part 1 of BuzzFeed’s three-part mini-series. Check out part 2 here: • I Found Out My Dad's N...
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I'll be honest. I think that the fact that he was not your biological dad doesn't really make a difference. What is interesting is that your parents never told you.
i think that in an age you have to told them, like at 18 or some age that they can understand the decision
only difference is newfound distrust for the parents.. im side eyeing for sure, like what else you been keeping from me MOM?
@@xalitoxespn age does not determine someone's maturity; an adult can be incredibly irresponsible and a young teenager can be incredibly wise. So, it leaves the decision to the parents if they think their child is ready to know or not.
Lizzy Pelosof 900th like
Some times. Parents don’t know how to bring it up to kids. I my self was adopted but my parents told me when I was little that I was. So I grew up knowing
So?
He raised you, so he is your father. Your biological wasn’t there for your life, there is no need to take fatherhood away from the man who raised you just because he’s not blood.
Nothing is being taken away.
even though the sperm donor did not raise her, but he is still her biological father who helped to create her, she wouldn't even exist in this world if it wasn't for the sperm donor, and there is nothing wrong with her wanting to find out who her biological father is and where she came from, in fact, it's her right to know the truth.
A big fat retweet
I agree as a donor child myself, my father who raised me is my dad, not the guy who is biologically related. That man is not in my life, and he is not my real dad. Anyone can create a child, not everyone can raise a child. It’s different if the dad wasn’t good or the dad wasn’t present, but a good dad who loves you, does the job well enough. You don’t need another dude to be in your life for that
@@chandlerfranklin8283 you should still at least be grateful to the sperm donor who created you, because you wouldn't even exist in this world in the first place if it wasn't for the sperm donor. I agree that the dad is the man who actually raised you, and the woman did say in the part 3 video that discovering her biological father doesn't change her relationship with her dad, she still considers the man who raised her to be her dad. But she's grateful that she at least now know who helped to create her and where she came from, and she calls the sperm donor by his name, not "dad". There is nothing wrong with wanting and having a relationship with the sperm donor biological father, who said that she can't have both in her life?
I can only imagine how many relationships these DNA tests have rocked or messed up. People need to be honest with their children, families, etc.sooner.
Although shows like the 'Jerry Springer Show' never detail this information: I would like for all of you commentators & fans out there to understand that (as can be easily seen by simply reviewing your closest relatives bodily hands) It is no coincidence that we are all genetically fingerprinted - coded differently. Although within four children (of the same biological mother and father), one child may be somewhat different by the leg - muscle structure, the hair texture, coloration of eyes & etc....; nevertheless, The hands represent the only body structure whereas 1/2 of the hands appearance is taken directly from the mother whereas the other half is taking directly from the father; thus, in general, if you as the biological children all have the same exact biological mother and father then your hands will be basically identical. Corruption can appear when one or more of the children have hands that are totally different from the hands of the other siblings. It's sort of like a DNA checklist.
I think it was heartbreaking for the real man that raised you.
Felicia Britt yea I’m looking for my biological father but there’s no way I would tell either of my parents. Not even my mom because she’d open up her fat trap and call my dad and tell him
This is one of my worst fears about having a child though a donor. It must hurt sooooo terribly for her father that he isn't "good enough"
Very telling
It was heartbreaking for her, not for him. She lived 21 years of age in a lie, and if she had not tested the DNA, she would have spent the rest of her life living the lie of a lifetime.
squ25 why not for him too? Society is soo casually sexist against men and don’t consider their feelings and struggles.
The mom is a better storyteller than the daughter.
Well she's been lying for two decades. You get good with that much practice.
emilyshmelimy *the tea is hot* 🐸
There is no need to compare
Well.. She's had PLENTY of time to mull over this sooo.... Meanwhile, the daughter hasn't had a chance to fully digest the new information.
Welp she is the MOM
She crazy? He biological "father" didn't birth you because he wanted you.... he just did his job in a cup and got the money
Sorry
I didn't understand anything
┌ʕ º ʖ̯ º ʔ┐
Miss shah depends on the sperm donor. Sure there are people who just want the money but there are plenty of people who do it to help parents have children :)
Is it me or does the girl have different color eyes.
@@olliegilliland7400 On the form he stated he needed the money.
How is it barbaric? It’s a very organized system that helps families have children who can’t. Sure there are people who do it for money, but in the end the important thing is that families can have children المهاجر التونسي
*He probably did it to pay for all of his medical school LMAO*
littrealy lmao they’re just cum in a cup from a guy that needed money 💀
It must have been a lot cheaper then. I don’t think donating all of my eggs could cover a single class now.
Women get paid way more for eggs and as surrogates.
@@Nocomment1 yeah, because it's a strenuous and difficult process to donate eggs or be a surrogate. I'm sure it couldve paid for all her classes. You can get paid anywhere from a few hundred dollars to thousands.
how was she able to travel all those places? did the husband afford this life for her?
Hey, hey 👋🏼
Rare donor child, here!
My parents told me at a young age I was not related to my dad, so I had time to process it as I grew older. It wasn’t until this past spring did I ask my mom for the donor file. At first, she hesitated, but I assured her I was mature enough to handle it.
I was shocked at how much he wrote about him and his family. I cried at the amount of detail he put down. I believed he truly cared about his decision and future (unknown) children, so he left me and my 14 (and counting) half siblings with as much information as he could give while still remaining completely anonymous. It brought me closure and relief. I couldn’t help but notice a small, empty hole in my heart.
When I look in the mirror, sometimes I try to pick out the features that aren’t my mom’s, so I can try to imagine what my donor father looks like. I wonder about my “other half”. I wonder what they look like, what their life is like, what their ancestral history is, etc.
I’ve been asked by multiple people why I can’t do a DNA test. The answer is,
I respect my donor father and his family’s privacy enough to not risk my profile showing up on their ancestry tree if they made an account.
My mom, grandma, and cousin did DNA testing, so that’s as close as I can get to understanding my European and Middle Eastern heritage.
Though I may never find out who he is, I have to remind myself that I’ve never known him personally. He didn’t raise me. He isn’t a dad- just a stranger related to me by blood.
Hey.. just so you know.. you can choose to opt in to having your results shared with others. I recently did a dna kit for health reasons but did not want strangers contacting me so I specifically opted OUT of the family ancestral link option because no thank you!
It is an option even with privacy! :)
Maybe he would like to meet you!
Just from the story, the man just donated his sperm, but has another family and chooses to remain anonymous. He’s fully conscious that his bio child has a family and and I guess just wants to continue living his own life. He would come into contact if he wanted to see his child, and it seems it would cause confusion if either were to become part of the other’s lives. I like how the person who wrote respects their donor, and respects their wishes to just move on
I can't help feeling bad for the dad who actually raised her as his own.. He must be feeling so inadequate and left out😐
Ms.Goodhope Why? He raised his children he just couldn’t father them.
@@codename9824 exactly he raised them as his own, yet his wife and children seems to be enamoured by the new rich famous "dad"😑
It’s very normal for people to want to know who their biological parents are. It’s very common in adopted kids and an expected reaction. Humans have an innate need to know where they come from
She said that it was still her dad and when you think about it you would want to know about the biological so you could know medical history or anything else that could explain why you are how you are.
@@rp6403 she looks pretty well off herself to be fair about this
I believe our relationships is much more important than being blood relatives.
UNLEASHING POTENTIAL - PSYCHOLOGY VIDEOS agreed
Dude ur everywhere. It looks like u doin a promotion
@bangmeister2012 it's not a slap in the face. She and her brother clearly told their dad that he was still their dad. She's merely curious about who contributed half of her genetics. There's nothing wrong with that.
Good for you. Based upon your reply, I'd be willing to wager that you grew up knowing your blood relatives.
@bangmeister NO. Clearly you've never been in a doctor's office and had to tell them that you don't know half your genetic background, so you have no idea what conditions you're predisposed to. It's really fun.
The dangerous thing about sperm donation is that you never know if you might marry your siblings and have children with them. Smh Guess I"m just too dang on old fashion.
Considering there are being several cases of people fathering tons of children..you are not
I saw a post in reddit about a guy that had an affair with a married woman, got her pregnant without her husband knowing, had a daughter with his own partner, and years later discovered that his girl was dating the boy he had with the married woman, and that's why he was asking for help.
You aren't old fashion. What you are saying is right. This is one of the main reason people shouldn't do this sort of thing in the first place.
Jaspion CCV 💀💀
I was expecting a juicy affair story
Shalom Jim 😂
Yeah bro, me too!
Same
Wow her dad that raised her must feel really bad. Not in the video, face blurred. They're telling all his incompetences and now he has to find out that the real father is a famous doctor. All because he wanted to be a dad so badly. Kinda seems insensitive to make a video about this. But it's their life.
Or he just wants to keep his privacy :')
The thing is, when you have a child, things stop being about you. It's no longer his information to hide when it impacts the very life and body of his child. If he's a good father, he understands and respects that it's her body and her story to tell. Even if it makes a parent uncomfortable, a good parent respects their child's autonomy, particularly in this case when it's an insecurity he has versus literally the very cells that comprise his daughter's body and her right to know and have ultimate control over it.
This mentality is the literal, explicit reason why I was never told, and it messed with me to know that the man who raised me cared more about hiding his insecurities than his child's right to know her own body
TiggerIsMyCat I’m sorry, I can’t imagine. I wish you could copy this and just spam it on every other comment here. People really don’t seem to understand that sperm = children = humans with their very own thoughts feelings and autonomy.
Only people who think infertility is something to be ashamed about would think this way. Infertility is NOT something to be ashamed about, and he has no reason to feel badly about using donor sperm to have children.
@@elaeda2225 Yeah! As though it's my dad's fault that he got measles
She's very very lucky he responded positively because most donors choose to stay anonymous forever. Very cool that he turned out to be a somewhat famous person in his field!
Awesome that he was willing (even interested) to be known & cool about it.
Weird that the fertility clinic told her anything, like she had 8 half siblings.
recoil53 I think that it’s impt that they should keep track of those because who knows... the person you might end up marrying is actually your half brother/sister. I also saw one video here on yt how one donor had more than a dozen biological children.
@@yenskie07 That has happened too. I read of one couple who found out after 5 years of marriage. They kept having miscarriages which was later diagnosed as tied to a defect in their common DNA where they were both carriers, but their children would inherit the defect and nature would take its course as the embryo could not live long with it. After that, they had 2 donor conceived children. One each of their biological child. That made their children genetically half cousins.
She sounds dissapointed
Like her father destroyed her life.
So what if he's not the real dad?
AND she wants to find her "siblings"
Oh God
Atlantis Japps-Will well, they are her literal full siblings lol
It's a win as it will not be incest 😪
Stfu
Wouldn’t you want to know how May siblings you have? If only to avoid incestuous relationships...
my parents straight up told me I was adopted when I was 8 yrs old
my response: okay cool and then took the bus to school
Lol then your weird and need help lol you sound like you were sad and crying on the inside trying to act cool I know your probably thinking I am so sad why me I wish my real parents were alive lol lol lol dummy I know you crying in your lol lol lol dummy lol
Some parents hide it and Lie . Manipulative
He may not have been your father, but he was your daddy
Diane Maskosky Guardians of The Galaxy
Truer words were never spoken
That just sounds wrong
ew
It’s sounds less manlier when you say it
Yeah I realized that now
Yeah
*music plays*
Hishe reference
Next: I tell my dog I'm not its owner
Don't forget to make it a 8 part series
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Maybe you mean you're not his "mother" hahaha!
🤣
Cover his ears FIRST
I am almost 60 yrs old. I took Ancestry DNA test and learned my father was not my father....life shattering..not sure it's worth it. I do believe we all deserve the truth...but sometimes the truth isn't very pretty.
Yes in my personal opinion, after a certain age it's better not to know these things. People should know who their parents are but at some point it can cause more harm than good.
These ancestry things use 1% of your dna to find your ancestry
@@seanmckinney6334 it’s correct and that’s all that matters.
I would rather know the truth any day 🧬
@@Biobele no it’s not
It’s literally not possible unless everyone involved takes a DNA test. That’s how you tell a fake story from a real story
Additionally it will lack lots of context because it’s based on a larger database. The only reason this story occurred is because the mother told the daughter prior, not because of the actual test results
Man she hit the gene and parent jackpot. 120 snow globes from traveling around the world and is only 22 years old.
I love how she brags about traveling and is so excited that the sperm donor likes to travel, but doesn't seem to recognize she was only able to do that because her real father helped pay for it.
@@jessicalutseck4675 And she says it like she did it all because her biological father liked to travel lmfao what?
These ancestry dna tests are exposing all the skeletons in ppl closets 😂
Kassandria that’s why parents should always be honest with their children. No matter how hard it is.
Good
And handing your DNA over to the pharmaceutical industry!
the ancestral test wouldn't expose paternity
carissa Carissas
they still didn't need to tell her. just an ancestor test not paternity
Calling it _leftover sperm_ sounds... _strange ^^;;_
Not really...they used the sperm to impregnate her mom with her brother, and some sperm was left over. It only takes one sperm to penetrate the egg. It’s cool that she has the same biological father as her brother. Plus if they picked a sperm donor that has similar traits as her dad I can see how if you look similar to your parents you wouldn’t suspect anything.
What else would you rather call it? It’s left over sperm. Calling it what it is isn’t strange. However, calling it anything else other than what it is would be strange.
NativeNYerChicHK remaining sperm? Leftover sound like food thatll go bad
Sierra Melody, right.. like they were rummaging the fridge at night & found some leftover sperm smelled & since it seemed okay they tried it out. 😆
ikr
If I discovered my dad wasn't my biological dad, I wouldn't want to know. I feel like it would only hurt my dad's feelings.
Agreed
Can you guys shut up lol
You have no clue what you'd do until you're in the situation.
does being lied to not hurt?
This is why I won’t donate my eggs (huge demand for Native American donors). If someone shows up at my door after donating.. I’d be pissed.
Sierra Hestum, why?
@@notfunny1410 Many people just want to donate and don't want a child in their life. They want to give others a chance to have children.
That One Antisocial Gal, doubt it. It's for the money and disgusting.
Not Funny not everyone is doing it for just the money????
Yeah but at the same time his sister ASKED him if it was ok to give his info. He had that choice, and he decided he had no problem with it, meaning he was probably curious too. He’s a older guy with no kids no wife? I’d be curious too to know I got someone carrying on my dna and curious to know what they looked like too. Especially having no known kids at that age.
Wow that’s the tea!
Ishan Ali _Piping hot, sis!_
Why are u everywhere
U fr are everywhere 😂
queen 123 ikr
Stop following me
Honestly... I couldn't go that far. I understand the curiosity. I may want to find out who my sperm donor was too. But to actually reach out and want to talk to him? One, he's a complete stranger. You aren't "reaching out to your dad" you are "interrupting the life of a stranger who helped your family out". Two, it feels like a slap in the face to the man who loved and raised you and calls you his daughter. "Oh sorry dad, I love you and all, but I gotta find my real dad". My dad isn't my biological. He was my step dad who adopted me. But maybe its different because I did for a short time in my life k ow my biological. I once thought of finding my biological, but then I realized how hard my dad hard to work to save me from that man and how hurtful it would be to him to just let that abuse person back into my life. I love my dad more then the desire to appease my own curiosity.
"He may be your father, but he ain't your daddy." - Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2, 2017.
Except her biological father wasn't abusive and your situations aren't the same at all. It's incredibly selfish of an adoptive parent to expect their child to disown their biological parent, and connotes deep insecurity.
You knew your bio dad, she didn't.
@@squeezie_b8895 It's incredibly selfish of a child to disown the parent who wanted and loved and raised them to go hunting down a stranger who never had anything to do with them.
you are a good sweet daughter
So honesty with your kids and letting them know the truth about who they are and where they came from wasn't important. That is UNTIL, your deceit was about to be exposed. I was also lied to and didn't find out my real DNA heritage until I was 66 years old. I then was able via DNA able to track down my biological father. I learned that he and his father (my grandfather) both died of aortic embolism. I was immediately tested and sure as hell I had one that fortunately had not yet burst. Her finding her biological father is the right thing to do.
My father found out when he was almost 40 that the man who raised him & who he called dad was not his biological father. His mother told him right before she got sick. His dad passed away when my dad was in his 20-30s. His mom died before she could tell him who his biological father was... & he passed before he could find out as well. It hurt him.. a LOT. He still considered his dad his dad but not knowing who his biological father was for a fact really bothered him. We had a conversation about it not long before he passed away as well. It does matter to some people.
I don’t know...part of me feels that her excitement for her biological dad was a bit disrespectful to her father who raised her. I get the curiosity factor, but I would think she would have stopped out of respect for the donors privacy.
? There is no privacy anymore. This donor works in the medical community; he knows that. And there's nothing disrespectful about finding out whose DNA you have.
Rusty Shackleford she kind kf did it jsut came up and he was open to talk…
it does disregard the man who was in her life
Agree. Just receiving the DNA genealogy advice should have been enough to satisfy anyone’s curiosity. It was not necessary to track down the donor. Out of respect for her father she simply could have stopped searching.
I think it's not mean to the father who raised her. She now has more love in her life
I knew these DNA kits would expose family drama and I am hear for it
You are too funny....js wondering. .have you had your dna test?.. so you won't wonder about me. ..I'm telling you now..yes I took mine..and it is loaded with surprises..
I saw u in a meme on instagram
@@goofpods4120 do you have a link to the post. I want to see lol
I almost cried when he ended up agreeing to give her his information. How amazing. So glad she has so many people in the world to care about her.
wow! I cannot really believe that the mother lied to her daughter 20 years. I hate that.
and father
Like she's the only one who ever did.
I honestly never understand why people need to know their sperm donors. I'm like her brother. Why would I want to know? The people that raised me are my family.
No need for me to know other random sperm donated family as well cause at the end of the day that other people families. I'm not just gonna insert myself in folks lives like that when the intention was to be anonymous for the donation.
One very valid reason is for medical history. I would give so much to know more about my "sperm donor" if just to know about medical markers I need to look out for and whatever other issues my genetics could be hiding.
itachii267 Because everyone is different and some of us have inquiring minds, or like she said maybe she had a lot in common personality wise with her biological father that she doesn’t have with her Dad. I don’t know since her Dad hasn’t been shown yet & what his hobbies & interests are. Like she said the age old question of nurture vs nature as to what shapes a persons personality dna or environment & culture or both.
@@PinkRose0910 I understand that people are different from one another and have different needs and desires. I guess what i am saying is it's just not something I care to delve into myself but also more importantly it's not something I would want to do for fear of potentially hurting others.
@@itachii267 I was thinking this too - like, if she were to reach out to these half-siblings of hers it could cause a lot of damage to those families or bring up things that those families maybe don't want to talk about. Also, who's to know if those siblings would want to talk to her in the first place? Theyre not family
@@KeeperCicero precisely
Lmao the mom is so nonchalant about it
4:53
"why do you want to be a donor?"
"I need the money."
lmaooo
You are so sweet. This made me cry tears of joy! Thank you. What a good story
I found out when I was 13, didn’t need a DNA test cause my mom told me. It was really hard to deal with. I felt unwanted by my biological father, but I felt immense love for my adoptive dad. He chose to stay with my mom, and he chose to raise me, which makes me so happy five years later
To use your Dad in such a public way is disrespectful and cruel.
I'm sure he loves you unconditionally so he will endure and act like its ok. I'm sure you have broken his heart
there is nothing wrong with her wanting to find out more about her biological father and where she came from, in fact that's her right, and she got lucky that her biological father was so understanding and was willing to form a relationship with her, and he agreed to do this interview. As for her dad who raised her, well he was barely mentioned and they blurred his picture in the video, maybe because he wanted his privacy. I'm sure she's not trying to replace her dad or intentionally wants to hurt her dad's feelings, she just wanted to know who her biological father was and just wanted to tell her story. And her biological father was already quite a public figure, he's a famous doctor apparently.
@@iamlinda100 its ok to be a parasite as long as its a doctor...What if he had been some skid row bum?
And yes the real man the real dad the one who was there is treated as if he never existed. This is just another example of why people only want to adopt children from China now. Congratulations.
and being"famous" does not give anyone the right to play with the lives of others. This "famous doctor" took an oath to first do no harm. He has violated that oath and should be held accountable financially to the man who supported and trusted in this procedure. There needs to be legal action!!!!! What has been done to that man is unimaginable....Dear god are people that shallow anymore? And how many others has he done this to?
@@sherrynelson1935 seriously what the hell is wrong with you? What do you have against sperm donors and people wanting to find out where they came from? The biological father is clearly a respectable person, sure he initially donated his sperm for money to pay for medical school, what's wrong with that? He's a healthy man, well respected in his field, and he seems nice and understanding. As for the dad who raised her, well maybe it was the dad himself who did not want to be in the video and did not want to be featured because he wanted his privacy? Ever thought of that? But no, you had to blame everything on the daughter and insult the biological father. If you don't like it then why watch this video anyway?
@@sherrynelson1935 and btw there is nothing wrong with the man donating his sperm, he has done a lot of good, he is the reason that this woman exists in this world. Some people are incapable of having biological children of their own, and it has been mentioned in this story that the dad was infertile so he could not have biological children of his own, that's why they decided to use a sperm donor. Sperm donors like this man has given other people the gift of becoming parents, who otherwise could not have biological children of their own. If you are so sympathetic to the dad who raised her, then you should actually be grateful to the sperm donor, because he is the reason that the dad was able to become a dad in the first place, the sperm donor gave the dad the chance to be a parent. So I'm sure the dad is grateful to the donor that he was able to raise a child that he could call his own. All of this would not have been possible without the sperm donor.
I truly dont comprehend the thought process this girl had, why would you want to figure it out? What will change in your life? He is, at the end of the day, just some dude, a stranger. Also, poor dad, i would be so upset if my daughter wanted soo bad to figure it out who her biological father is, i would feel like i meant nothing for her
why wouldnt she want to know? she would find out ab her bio dad.
@@ionreallyknowatthispoint2597 bc its not important? he is just some dude who needed quick cash so he donated sperm. he didn't want her. As someone whose parents also did fertilization, if i ever found out that one of my parents aren't my bio parent i couldn't careless, since it was them that raised me, loved me, and wanted me.
I think maybe if they hadn't hid it from her it wouldn't have been such a huge thing. I've know people conceived from donors that grew up knowing about it and they never had any inkling to reach out to their biological families. But for others like this girl, who weren't told, they always feel lied to and betrayed. This could've been avoided if her parents had raised her knowing that even though she was conceived with donor sperm, her dad is still her dad.
I think she's mentally ill. A normal, well-adjusted person wouldn't react this way to finding out that they were born from a sperm donor. Normal people don't become obsessive to the point where they're stalking down people's families. There's clearly something wrong with her and she's trying to fill some hole with this new "father" figure. I doubt it's going to actually fix whatever it is that drove her to act like a stalker in the first place.
I guess until you are actually in her situation you can’t truly know how you would handle it.
I found it kinda rude to look for person who donated the sperm. There's a reason why those donations are nameless and soon if everyone can just start looking for people who have donated sperm etc. - there isn't going to be any donations.
Big reason why so much sperm comes imported from Denmark to other countries is that you can do it there without nobody ever knowing who was the donor. They stay anonymous.
Edit: I understand if person wants to know health wise about their genes but usually when you donate - you have to tell all you know about medical things in your family. That's enough information.. Don't hunt down a person who donated and wanted to stay anonymous - like I said before: That's the way to make people stop donate. That's why so many countries use Danish sperm.
Oh well.. At least then there might be less babies born into the world and people actually adopt children. So go ahead.. Be rude and make people afraid to donate.
Anonymity no longer exists in this age of DNA. Doesn't matter whether you find it 'rude'.
@@agneswebb5127 stfu honestly
@@jan-nn9ix Honestly....I won't STFU. And comments like yours just make me want to speak out even more. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
@@agneswebb5127 hey I was just gonna wish you a merry Christmas when i saw ur notifications but you beat me to it
i donated my eggs and it was anonymous by default, but i opted to let my bio child contact me if he/she ever wants to in the future. i think it'd be kinda cool.
If I was the donor I would not have been as laid back as this guy was. In fact, I would be furious. The donor's identity is protected for a reason. Like she said his sperm produced at least 8 kids. He doesn't want the responsibility of 8 different people. Especially if, like the mom said, he just needed the money. Her mom should have told her to leave him alone.
Who's to say he's not equally curious how his biological offspring turned out?
@@oddmad8613 I mean obviously he is because he's so laid back about the whole thing but if I was in his situation I wouldn't be. I don't think it was ok of her to track him down for her own selfish reasons. He isn't her father he was a donor. There is a difference. Even if she is biologically related to him he's not her family.
Melo this isn’t about responsibility. Donors are legally not at all responsible and don’t have to get involved if they don’t want to. But they cannot stop a human being with autonomy - they can make their own informed uncoerced decisions - from wanting to know their biology. That’s the chance you take when you donate sperm that becomes an actual person with thoughts and feelings of their own.
Melo I am not in this situation so i dont know but i have met cousins who weren't like "family" and still enjoyed getting to know someone with similar genetics. Shes not asking for a father she is just curious.
@@melo13melo Knowing your own biology is not selfish.
Trying to remain anonymous from people you've literally had a hand in making (and expecting them to not try to learn all the can about themselves) seems selfish to me.
Dam yall burned the dad out lmao
I don't even like when my mother says mean things about when my father was alive. Her repeat venting sessions has definitely distanced me from her. Any issues with him went into the ground when he died. Don't disturb my peace!
“We didn’t think we’d ever tell them” yikes. Not healthy.
This is why I'll never be a sperm donor. I want to raise all of my offspring.
i am 14. and, i learned that my dad isn't my biological father because my mother had told me so a few weeks ago. it was shocking. though, i wasn't upset. because my dad isn't a very good dad. :')
Yeah I know it a couple of years now but it's still weird
I'm glad you are not upset about it.. Takes a lot more than sperm to be a father.. I wish my mother would have done that moved on and gave me an actual father..
Same except i found out in like 1st grade
@케이티애기 da fuq?
민윤게 Which dad is bad?
I know a few people who were adopted (my husband & his non-biological brother, my cousin, friends, etc.). For as long as they can remember, they've all known they were adopted, & although interest in their bio-parents varies, they're all very comfortable with being adopted children. So...where do adoptive parents get this idea that not allowing their children to know they're adopted is anything close to a good idea; especially since DNA matching has been a thing since, what, the 80s? What is the perceived benefit?
@@Natalie-zv9wj I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope you've had time to heal from such a shock. If you're willing to discuss it, could you tell me why your parents chose to keep it secret? Although I don't agree with their choice, I'm not trying to be disrespectful. I'm truly curious as to how they came to that decision.
There isn't any benefit to the child. Actually waiting is proven to be much more harmful to the child than just being honest from the start. The only benefit is that the parents get to avoid an uncomfortable conversation... that's it really :/
Exactly. I’m adopted and I’ve known my whole life. I actually feel bad for people who have to wait so long to find out.
maybe the dad was insecure?
@@Jay-kx4jf Why would the dad be insecure? Both would be.
7:06 - There were 8 pregnancies total from this donor. "I have potentially 6 or more genetic half siblings. I'm hoping to eventually find as many of them as I can". This girl irks me. This isn't a quest or a game, it sounds like she's interested in doing this for herself. What if these people don't want to be found? what if they don't want to know about the sperm donor? Stop interrupting people's lives for your own gain.
violetAura she is a collector. She is 22 and have over 100 globes. That is not normal for a 22 year old. She can't have been to so many places in her life. Now she wants to collect her siblings. She is not normal. Then when she has found them she gets on to find another thing to collect. Maybe men. Or she gives eggs so she can collect children.
violetAura I agree, some people may already know but they are happy with their real parents and don’t care about sperm donor.
I was 19 .. two years ago I found my biological father when he messaged me on Facebook. loved hearing your story!!
You are NOT the father!
@@aminaharielle2270 trypophobia
*gasp*
Paterninty Court
ehh. father or not, he raised you.
She knows that. She's not saying he didn't raise her.
Thanks, I wouldn't want to know anyone else at this point. I am appreciative.
So this is basically a huge add for 23andme, greaaat.
I’ve gone through this myself but what I learned is family is whoever loved you and raised you. I trust these kids will get to that point as well, please don’t judge them for being curious.
Your dad isn't your biological mom
Hand over the kettle of tea
facts
"We didn't think there was any reason to tell them."....Ok, no. That is not something you just leave alone, fam.
it's not that deep
Ikr! What if she had coincidentally met a half-brother and got into a romantic/sexual relationship with him?
rocket 1, it's her father. That's pretty deep lol
@@furat4842 or had a genetic problem. Although, I'm guessing the sperm bank would vet out the "bad" genetic stuff.
@@notfunny1410 No, it's not her father. It's a sperm donor who shot it in a cup and probably never even knew she existed. Her father is the man who actually wanted her, raised her, and loved her. Don't get it twisted.
GREAT CONTENT! INTERESTING STORY! WELL DONE BUZZFEED
“Oh my father is a popular doctor...!” She gets excited and happier
Can I get part 2 now? I've finished part 1😭😂😂
Clara J tomorrow
Smoke one out and wait!
It's up now :)
Miss S IMpatiently waiting for part 3😭😂😫
Yeah I found out my mom was actually my step mom. I found out when I found my birth certificate in the back of my dad's closet (while hiding a birthday present)
They said it's because they didn't want me to feel abandoned. It turned out I felt abandoned AND betrayed.
I understand you are upset about it but as I am a parent I can see there side... Parents( not all there are some dirty ones out there) do what we feel will hurt less.we try the best we can and try to make decisions with our kids best interest at heart. We are human and not always right or not always make the right decision we are not perfect.. Life is a learning lesson and there is no manual that tells us exactly the right thing.. I sit petrafied of how I am I going to screw up or how I'm going to do wrong by my kids I live in anxiety always wondering if I am doing the right thing and the most painful thong for me would have a child of mine feel like I did them wrong or screwed them up.. It is never the intention to harm.. I don't know if what i am saying even matters but if it does I hope it helps a little. God bless .
Oh I know I gained a awesome step mom out if it. And have 4kids now and no matter what (God willing) I would not step out if their life and they know their dad is their biological father. What I went through made me stronger
Like she changed her name
@@peachy_pancakes7977 💙💙💙
This was so great so far! No one is angry or upset and the dad seems cool. I HAVE to know more! It's a good thing I'm late to this party and this was 3 years ago so I can binge watch the whole thing.
I am subbed to a lot of similar channels but you have moved to the top of my favorite channel list.
leave that man alone
Who's to say he's not equally curious how his biological offspring turned out?
well, after this video i'll write on that paper "dont track me when you're older"
It’s crazy cause it’s hard to tell how many children he actually has due to the sperm donation. Could be more than 100 😐😱😱
It’s just my opinion but it was said in the video that 8 pregnancies occurred
Ethan Dosh Ohhh okay, I missed that! Thanks
layal I mean, maybe don’t donate sperm if you can’t accept that whatever comes out might be curious enough to find you?
Some people change their minds as they get older.
Having someone who is a good person and who loves your mom is huge for you.
Found out at 50 my dad was not my biological dad. Did a DNA test and found out much of my life was a lie . It’s tough going sometimes, we were very different and it was abusive at times . Getting close to finding my Aussi dad .
You were brought into the world with so much love , and it’s obvious your parents love you . I’m embracing my new ethic heritage and the old one as well .
Oh BTW....
Your dad is not your dad.
Just watched that as I read it 🤣
@@abbieh5642
Same haha
AbbiGater
same
I have had a VERY similar story. Its heartbreaking. When I read this I almost started crying because it's amazing I just went through this last year for Christmas. My mom lived in completel denial after I found out. She was very mean and hateful about it. Good luck in your endeavors :)
My sad ending is that I found my father a year and 15 days too late. He passed away.
He actually lived in the same town as me. I missed out on so much time. But I have a great father. Still always made me wonder
I've obviously never been in this situation... but I don't understand why the kids can't be raised knowing this info. It's extremely important for people to know where they came from.
Kelly Loraine I agree that was very irresponsible of them
This is insane! Thanks for sharing your story!
Wasn’t sure how interested I would be on watching the next part but after watching this I have to because now I’m hooked
LUKE, I AM *NOT* YOUR FATHER
good job buzzfeed, i actually love this lil mini series
Lying is a horrible thing and it ALWAYS gets found out. I feel awful for her. Just horribly awful. It shocks your whole system and why wait so long. That makes a habitual liar. I'm so sad and disgusted for her. :'( Her mother is so nonchalant about it like she didn't do anything wrong keeping it from them.
The mother is absolutely stunningly beautiful. I could watch her tell stories all day.
YASS WE LOVE A STORYTIME! WE NEED PART 2!
This is why I would never donate sperm.
This is so similar to my story! I found out who my bio-dad was through Ancestry. He didn't do Ancestry but his sister and nieces did and they told him about me and we met in a very similar way. It's like discovering a new person that you are connected to but you are trying to make connections with. It definitely is an interesting journey.
I was a bit hesitant to watch this fearing that it would be sad or painful to watch. This video was very well done and intriguing. I'm excited for part two! It's strange how parents don't tell these massive secrets to kids from the get go but I understand that it's really hard to explain to a child.
I had a similar experience to this. When I was 16 I started questioning or family and why my mom never talked about her pregnancies and why she had sonograms of my brother and sister in the family photo album but none of me. It turned out I had a twin that sadly passed away before birth. I wasn't mad at my mom but I was quite distraught.
The weird thing was that as a child I had an "imaginary friend" they were my twin. We went everywhere together. I would talk to them for hours and push her on the swing at the playground. I named her Angelina and she was in a wheelchair. It's like as a child I could sense the presence of my unborn twin. Its especially odd because my twin was in a wheelchair and if they were born they would have been very sickly with multiple abnormalities. Further down the line we found out that I have a progressive genetic disorder that is making me ill and now I have trouble walking.
That's my secret family story. It's fascinating how aware young children are. Have a great day everyone.
Wow!
Why would they not tell them? That's mean
Fear of her rejecting them?
@@drazgul9403 it's their right to know who their biological parents are, for medical reasons and to just know.
@@jtz3563 a lot of the time in these situations, the sperm donor doesn't want anything to do with the kids. And the family consider themselves to be the actually parents.
@@jtz3563 There isn't any real reason for medical treatment.
Before donating sperm you be checked for any potential diseases etc, even your grandparents are being "checked"
@@drazgul9403 okayyyyyy. One side of my family has diabetes, the other has suffered from stomach cancer, heart conditions, stroke. These are things that don't show up in a sperm test and can only be provided by knowledge of the ancestors life.
its always best to tell your children things like this rather than them finding out another way
It's like this girl didn't really comprehend the pain she would cause the man who raised her.
Super interesting. Really enjoyed this, can't wait for the next one!
What a tease!! Had me all into this just to be continued!!!!
I can't stand to watch part two.
Janell Meads wtf it’s so cringy
It's beautiful to find out your relatives but it's even beautiful that you had such a wonderful family that raised you!! So you are so lucky you have two dads, two moms and of course our common Father God!! God bless you!!
Wow this is crazy. I had a similar experience though. I found my long lost aunt through Ancestry DNA. I saw a profile that was listed as my first cousin and I sent her a message asking if she heard of my mom's name. She told me she knew she had a sister she never got to meet and it turns out it was my mom. We met earlier this year and I got to meet a lot more cousins for Thanksgiving too
Stormy Jackson how was it like meeting your mom? Are you guys close now?
This is a situation that you can't possibly understand until you're in it. Sure, her dad raised her. He's her DAD. She's not denying him by simply wanting to know where she comes from. If you know who your biological parents are (or you THINK you do), then you should refrain from judging her decision to reach out to her bio family. I used to think like that, too. "Your parents are who raised you." And then I discovered that my bio father was a sperm donor. Not only are there medical implications (I discovered I was Ashkenazi Jewish, which meant I was at a higher risk for a gene that causes breast cancer), but there is so much of your life that finally makes sense when you discover who your bio parent is.
Gada Gold preach
Well said Gada Gold. People wont get it
Yes but you can find out the medical implications (or a lot of them) through the tests, you don't need to contact or start a relationship with the bio parents for that. Also, these "things" only makes sense because you want it to. There are lots of biological parents and children that have very different interests/personalities so just because you are interested in something that your bio parent is, it doesn't need to be some magical connection. But hey, I was adopted and don't know my bio parents (with zero chance of finding out who they are) and I am a lot like my adoptive parents -- just goes back to the nature vs. nurture debate.
tldr; I don't think it's necessary to form a relationship/have contact with them especially in the case of a sperm donor (not an adoptive situation where you might want to know the story/parent might regret it)
I had a friend who found out her dad wasn’t her dad through an ancestry dna test. Showed her siblings as half siblings.
Wow how shocking I can't imagine. It must make you question your whole life and the memories you shared.
It’s easy to say it doesn’t make a difference but it does. The right time to tell your kids is when they are capable of talking because they can understand and comprehend at a young age in small amounts of information. They have a right to know and it pays to be up front honest and truthful. Everyone knows and it’s not a secret. Acceptance and respect for everyone is essential for good inter family relationships.
There’s always a reason to tell them
@Bill Anderson You obviously didn't watch the video. Sperm donater father.
Bill Anderson I guess you haven’t heard of artificial insemination. Or you are trying to stir up drama.... or trolling
My Dad always told me he had doubts about me being his Bio daughter so I did the DNA test with ancestry and matched with a bunch of his cousins ha jokes on him
What jerk... he could make a test himself instead of say such awful things to you.
What's cool about this is how she shares her hobbies with her biological father. It makes me think of all that my dad and I have in common.
This is the coolest video I’ve ever seen. Ever.
This is actually quite sad isn't it? 😢😢😢😢
Wow, interesting but I feel bad for the dad that raised her now. Can't wait for Part 2!
I always knew that the man who raised me from a baby was not my biological father. My parents were always honest about it to me. I just always knew and accepted it. I think it’s best to raise your kids with 100% honesty from the get-go, it saves everyone a lot of heartache
*This is deep.*
*I personally wouldn’t treat him any different as long as he loves her.*
Here I thought the mom lied to the dad and got pregnant by someone else and never told her husband... sighh
4:13 " *we just want a beautiful child* "
I'd really love to get more information about this type of thing as this all recently happened to me.
She made this wayyyyyy deeper than it needed to be