I sufferred horendous narc abuse for 10 years and I sufferred severe exhaustion and severe memory loss and ultimately a severe mental breakdown and ended up in a secure mental hospital. These people should face criminal charges.
THE NARCISSIST'S PRAYER: That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did... You deserved it!
Oh awesome. Gotta read this to my mother.that evil woman is the reason I have brain fog. Me and my sis have suffered terrible physical, deviant sexual behavior, been molested by my dad's father and my mother knew and made us go back for more. My mother says terrible things to me, She crippled me by pushing me pushing 7-Eleven
@@mariamalhotra8228 thank you. I had 3 surgeries, almost died. I came home 2 and a half months later and she is abusing emotionally , psychological, and hit me twice last week. Help. What should I do? If her continue on and.es
Me and my ex narc had a sleep number bed. I would fall asleep with my number at 65 then I would wake up and my bed would be at 30. She was changing my number in the middle of the night so I wouldn't get a good night sleep.
This is exactly what I have experienced. The brain fog, not able to concentrate reading, watching television and even in conversations. I have had many health problems as well, producing too much stomach acid, depression, PTSD and fibromyalgia.
@@PanthORandPonAY Hello Jaime, I don't know if you will read this, but if you do - I just want you to know that things will get better, you're not alone. Im sorry you have to go through all of this. I know how it feels like to be in such a relationship, how deeply it wounds and hurts you. I hope you get through this and I want you to remember that I believe in you
@@tnijoo5109 me too. I enjoy reading the comments because it's so helpful to me; sadly the comments enlighten me and help me to know I'm not alone. I didn't know life could be so incredibly pain-filled.
@@estherann7407 You’re definitely not alone. I think the most tragic aspect of all the pain and trauma is that it was all so unnecessary. But here we are all learning to deal with it and trying to figure out how to function like normal people. Come back to these comments if you ever need a friend and hopefully I’ll get the notification. Sending love. 💓
I used to be laid back to the point where my friends would pull little pranks on me just to see if I'd get angry. Now I get angry and hysterical over tiny things and I feel like I'm losing my mind.
It’s a total mind****, cognitive dissonance when you can work out someone’s toxic behaviour. Once you see those subtle red flags it’s game over for the narcissist.
I had the worst brain fog after 1 year spending everyday with my narc ex. It took me 3 months to recover I had a heavy pressure on my head and felt lifeless. Thank God I did positive affirmations, started exercising again and eating properly. Here I am now healing and x100 times better. You can do it guys x
Reading that made me remember when Jennett McCurdy said her mom taught her how to be bulimic to stay skinny and now I think back to him trying to teaching me to eat once a day like him to save money just another next step you don't see happening until it's spelled out to you
After 26 years of marriage, I admitted to myself that I was married to a narcissist. High blood pressure, chronic migraine and anxiety/panic attacks... when I left, I lost 11 pounds almost immediately which I attribute to the loss of cortisol hormones throughout my body. Migraines are improving and I hope to reduce all meds when the divorce is final and I can have true freedom and peace.
@@carlapostlethwait4397 I just met up w a friend who moved out from her narc X only one month ago- the look of lightness on her face was undeniable- she looked like a different person. Marriage should not wring you out like you are an old dishcloth. Glad you are free:)
@@dontbelongherefromanother Same here. I used to be so relaxed and trusting around people, now it's like constant hypervigilance even with people I've known for years
Wow you're not the only one like wise i have experienced brain fog , cptsd , anxiety , dread , insomnia , fatigue and depression for over a decade now !!!!! Life hasn't been easy for me at all !!!!! I have been through alot !!!!!
“The Fog” is so intriguing. I was only “friends” (not intimate) with my ex-narc and even after a year of no contact (once I had that aha moment when I shockingly realized who I was dealing with) my brain still isn’t entirely out of the fog although it has definitely come a long way in a year. I honestly can’t even imagine what those of you who have intimate relationships with these people go through. So glad you made it out before it was too late. Not everyone escapes.
I understand what it feels like to have brain fog. It is debilitating and you are unable to concentrate and make sound decisions. It's amazing how the mind is affected from narc abuse.
This is how I know I'm being illegally surveillance and maliciously harassed...i.g they deliberately wait until I start a movie, then resort to some sort of noise harassment(slamming car door, honking horn, indirect verbal communication outside of your resident, banging on wall by surrounding tenants, idling outside resident blasting loud music, etc.) and will do the same thing when movie is ending or has ended. They carry out these same annoying tactics with basically everything I do throughout the day. When I turn on my phone, press play on a UA-cam video, roll over in bed, put a period after a sentence. It is very obnoxious behavior that is being done in my community and wherever I go by a wicked organization with a very wicked agenda that involves slow torturing, mimicking, electronic harassment, direct energy weapons, witchcraft, money, time and plenty negative energy. And I know without a doubt that those acts are directed towards me because the noise harassment is totally different when I'm not as active. Unless they want me up and/or upset than they get very annoying with their tactics to provoke me into reacting. And that's where the mental abuse arises because they are doing things to covertly show you that you're being illegally monitored and not only are they watching you but using the information gathered to harass you by subliminally communicating and doing mimicking tactics on a daily which could shut a reasonable person down from wanting to do anything and they wait until you're all depress then bombard you with the insults of being lazy or not doing enough and using the effect of the trauma they've placed in your life as the reason why you're life is the way it is. Even when putting the period on that last sentence the surrounding tenant resorted to noise harassment. They will use random perps from all body of organizations to confuse you and/or intimidate you. But it is written...
I just escaped three days ago from being with him only four months. But I have truma bond, PTSD, depression, anxiety, um I'm still trying to remember everything. I'm getting all the effects from him. He said he would have someone to come down at night time to hurt me and blocked yesterday and stop talking to him since sun. He doesn't know where I live, doesn't have my bank account number. He asked for it and I said no,. Witch they hate to hear. My address, my password to my phone, my friend people. . At the end of the day I was aware of his behavior, his apologize, how he would say I'm going to learn from that. If I didn't agree I would ask and that when I recognized on how he was treating me, and they affect of what I started to do since yesterday night is to look underneath my bed , when it used to happen to me when I was 8 yr old. Got raped and became a slave my orphanage and he knows about it. That not the rt feeling to do at night time. If anyone knows any advice I could use it. And it's getting night time.
@@claudiazamari1819 I recommend becoming extremely competitive and a warrior and starting to look it at like they should be scared of you. Get into strength training, martial arts. Anything like that and look at yourself as a terminator. It works. I had started dating someone new and their ex wife was gang stalking me and the guy wasn't supportive to make it stop so I left him. I kept dating and found a guy I liked a lot and we became bf/gf. He also had a crazy ex and she would not stop calling him getting new numbers and messing up my sleep. I was so tired and just cracked. I tried being ignoring it didn't work, tried being nice saying he's with me now please leave us alone it didn't work. I finally so tired amd done with this demons I just snapped and told her if you don't leave him and us alone, I'm going to kill you. It worked. Never heard from her again. These people are cowards but we are not. I meant what I said also. They are trying to kill me slowly and I will defend myself it is my right. Taking a harsh approach is the only thing that has ever gotten these people to leave me alone sadly. But I embrace it now and even when I was leaving my ex narc who was the worst covert devil he said I can't do this anymore im scared of you. You just have to go there with them. When he hoovered months later I purposely caused a narc injury and replied with a man saying back off. No longer doi see myself as a victim but a narc hunter and they cannot handle being around me because it kills them. There is your answer that bears results.
Brain fog, stomach problems, acid reflux, sometimes dry skin problems etc.. Comfort eating, anxiety walks (during covid lockdown). The list just goes on for years... Even starting from school bullies!
From bullying in elementary school to narcissistic abuse when getting a masters degree and then becoming disabled by a brain infection before Covid. I dunno what normal was then. Until I got Covid and got left in bed to die with my hopes and dreams that will always be in the past. Guess it sucks when you get cancelled out your own life.
My mother and father where both narcissists, my step father was an alcoholic, walking on eggshells was an understatement. Primed from birth, I married a narcissist, surprise! 28 years with a narcissistic husband, I was a mess mentally and physically! My abdomen began getting larger and larger, I went to my endocrinologist he checked my cortisol levels were off the charts, but he had not solution or magic pill. It got so bad for me mentally just as you explained. I attempted suicide😢, I saw no other way as the abuse was basically my whole life. By the grace of God, I am still here, my doctor would not let me out of the hospital if I didn’t find an alternative place to live. He said if I was to go back to my husband it would happen again and I may not survive next time. There was no love left in my marriage, 6 yrs no intimacy, but I had 3 children who I had dedicated my life to, my choice! Fast forward, I did not go back, my children ranged from 16-21. Excluding my youngest I had been there for them. What followed was very difficult but I did not go back. It’s been 8 years since I left, my children forgave me, my cortisol levels are better, my memory is better than it ever was! And I am at peace for the 1st time in my life. I remarried a good man, who never has a negative word towards me. I am 58. Your not crazy, your abused! There is hope though, I made it😅
I’ve been involved in a narcissistic abuse, and to tell you it’s the worst thing that could happen. It left me traumatized, I felt so hurt and angry from all the painful memories I’ve had with my ex.
My friends and family have started to get annoyed by my lack of focus and memory. I've called it brain fog, but never associated it with the breakup from my narcissistic ex. And I've also developed several health problems, that I never associated with my narcissistic ex either... Thank You for helping me see things clearer!
I have been foggy for 3 years. Diagnosed with chronic depression. I contemplated suicide a lot. Last month several terrible things happened in my family. I knew I had to step up and help. You would think that several tragedies happening would send you even further into the fog. Something incredible happened, I woke up one morning and I was able to think again. I'm not better but I feel like I've been given another chance. I have been really focusing on how I react to every situation. I even talk out loud. If I say it out loud it makes it real. It is hard not to panic or just go back to bed. I know it's going to be a challenge. I keep telling myself that I have to literally change the way I think. I'm in training and maybe one day I'll be a pro. This only happened about a week ago and my family is afraid that I've hit some euphoric state. Someone said riding the pink cloud or something. But I know the reality of the situation. Before this fog set in I was very intelligent. My thoughts were always so fast that sometimes my mouth couldn't keep up. I loved math and reading and had ideas. The fog took all of that away. I would start a conversation and knew what I wanted to say but I could find words sometimes. I felt so stupid. I would say I'm sorry I can't find my words. I used to be smart but I guess I'm just dumb now. I couldn't even read a book. I would say it's just so foggy. There was a constant weight in my head that I can't explain too. I am so determined to keep my clear mind. I have to because if I go back there again, I won't make it this time. I probably do seem crazy to people that have never been there. I am talking out loud to myself but it is on purpose. I keep saying I have all the words. My thoughts have a beginning and an end. I thought I broke my brain. I know that I am the only one that can make me better. I really really have to or it will kill me. I was with a horrible narcissist for 15 years. I am divorced now but it was just crazy trying to get away from him. He was a snake. He did things to our children that they didn't tell me until after the divorce. The guilt I felt for not knowing and not leaving sooner ate me alive. My kids are awesome and very close with me but they rarely speak to him. They will be fighting for their mental health forever because of him. Wish me luck. Thank you for this video. It really helps to know that I'm not crazy and this brain fog they called depression happens.
Prayers to help and I found out soul healing prayer help to heal the damage but not every one can get away. ua-cam.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSNenmX0clUUdyZEr7m2AYte.html
YES! The brain fog and exhaustion is debilitating!!! When they come anywhere near me this gets so bad that l can barely function. And l am no genius but l would consider myself reasonably intelligent and capable. They make it impossible to carry out the most basic tasks.....even bathing.....everything becomes this huge challenge! I can't read anymore. And l love reading. Unless it's a children's book. Scary how demonic and evil these people are that they cause physical symptoms......pain....lack of concentration etc. This helps make sense of what l go through on a daily basis.....on and off because they hoover and discard.....hoover and discard. What they say and what they do don't match up. Like dealing with lunatics......trying to make sense of nonsense. Even my arms start to burn like they're on fire!!
The other day I was needing to put an extra blanket on my bed due to the cold weather upon us. I couldn't make a decision which blanket I wanted to put on or which blanket should go on top of the other. That's how bad narcissistic abuse can get, one can't even make the simplest decision. Finally I just put the blanket on and as I did I was so proud of myself for being pro-active and making a decision instead of procrastinating. It's the little victories that count!!
I had a weird experience like this and found myself literally unable to keep myself awake whenever we were together and it used to make him so angry, but no matter what I tried, it was like my mind just shut down whenever I was in a stressful situation towards the end of our marriage. I even went to the doctor, who said it sounded like some kind of narcolepsy. I had to stop driving also, as I couldn’t concentrate and was driving to my mums instead of the nursery or home instead of to the shops, or needing to pull over for a nap half way to a destination if it was more than a few minutes away and I didn’t think I was safe to be on the roads anymore. I decided that it it was my bodies way of escaping from a situation that I wanted to get away from, but was unable to do physically. When I left, the sudden falling asleep symptom stopped happening as often and eventually stopped altogether, but it took several years for my general fatigue and exhaustion to recover. I did end up with a thyroid problem and an auto immune illness as well, which also seems to have subsided now I am relaxed for the great majority of my life. I wouldn’t put myself through anything like that again.
I'm literally in tears. I was in a couple of long term abusive relationships, I was beaten for long periods of time by the people I cared about the most. I've cut contact with them but I'm left with the cycle of being terrified. every relationship I'm in I can never handle any stress including my partner's and I just assume the worst. I never understood all my intense vomiting, eczema, panic attacks and sweating were caused by narcissistic abuse everyone always told me I was just sick and crazy. this video made me realize that I can actually get help and I'm not the only one who struggles on a day to day basis. thank you for uploading.
I've found it to be very challenging to be safe. I know it's a mindset but I can't seem to shake it. Because I don't feel safe around others I've isolated myself to have the peace I'm looking for.
i’m 61, and only just figured out why i’m so anxious and poorly. my son died age 39, my mother has used it as a stick to beat me. yesterday after a huge triggering i again made the decision to cut ties, for 48 hours i’ve been in melt down.so glad these channels exist.
I come from an abusive family and was bullied at school. i then married an abusive man. As a single parent I was ostracised and bullied by neighbours (especially their children). I then got a job (10 years) where I was bullied before being driven out of my job. I was unable to function for about 2 years, where I was too exhausted to get through the day. To this day I have bad regulation of my emotions.
This video made me cry 😭 You’ve explained what I’ve been feeling for years in the simplest way. Your voice is so soothing. Thank you so much Caroline. I had to subscribe 🌸
Oh man.. this explained so much. I have brain fog so bad, and rage inside me comes out at some of the stupidest stuff. If I'm folding clothes and a sock falls on the floor, I'm instantly upset. I couldn't understand why until I watched this. Also, I have been worried about my physical health because I can tell there is something wrong with me... and don't even get me started on the insomnia.. I am lucky to get 3-4 hours a day, if that. It is nice to know that I am not the only one and I'm not crazy... and it can be turned around.. thank you.
This is so me. Just can’t remember and scatter brained. We start to feel like we are really going crazy. Our minds are wore out from all the cognitive dissonance
18 years narcabuse. I havent been able to take my drivings license and I was an A student once. What a waste of time walking on eggschells for an idiot. Hopefully after gaining strengh again I can take my licence.
I suffered from brain fog and extreme exhaustion. Lately I was told I have acid reflux. I just told myself that I wasn't gonna give up on myself. I have done a lot of research and have been able to improve my memory. I am so grateful I finally regained my freedom. I will continue to fight until I get to where I ought to be. Thanks Caroline!
I went no contact nearly a year ago with my narc mom and step dad. I am now more exhausted than even, seems I never get enough sleep, and if I wake up ruminating at 3am I have to get out of bed to pray and meditate so I might be able to get back to bed. Being super sleepy means you are finally letting go of all the trauma and starting to heal.
There will be trauma stuck in your body as your nervous system may not have caught up with knowing that the danger is in the past & therefore might be keeping you in shutdown to protect you. Check out my recovery programme that will help to process the trauma into the past by working at a somatic (in the body) level becksales--carolinestrawson.thrivecart.com/ntrp-gbp/ let me know what you think xx
I only recently ended things with my husband & had no idea he was a narc until i started reading & checking out youtube....so obvious now & i am so glad to be able to put a name to the p&s.
I was a nurse, and I'm an empath (which I really didn't know before, and I'm still trying to accept what that even MEANS...doesn't feel like a "blessing" to me, AND it's something I'm not even really comfortable saying because it sounds like I'm making some grand claim, and I don't feel that it makes me "special" at ALL.) Anyway...I DO understand the physiological effects of abuse, and I ALWAYS understood that the situation I was in WAS abuse, but that didn't stop me from believing that there was something worth fighting for, that he had enough goodness in him that I could actually TEACH him healthy love. I made excuses for him, due to his childhood, past traumas, drug addiction, etc. AND I KNOW BETTER. No one can fix someone else. No one can "love" someone to an epiphany or mental health. But it didn't stop me from clinging to hope. Now I'm sitting in a strange state, far from home, in a shelter, not knowing which way to go. I want my strength back. I want better. I just want to be free.
All that consumes me is telling her how much she has severely damaged me. I was debility physical pain right from the beginning. I seriously thought I was going to die. I'm glad I removed her from my life. 2 weeks after her being gone my health rapidly improved.
You made me cry tonight but I feel so much better, thank you for affirming my life atm. Nice that someone understands as I've been hiding away in all of these symptoms, alone at home feeling very hurt and crumbling outside my 4 walls. Thank you for doing this video lovely lady ❤
My Italian narcissistic ex was the worst example of a narc I've ever seen. True evil. 7 months into it I was able to leave. He took my friends with him who are still under his spell, but I'm finally free
'Under his spell' is an apt expression. I was always rather the pragmatic type but spells have a role in the world of those narcs. I don't deny their application anymore. They are dark forces that cut deep and it was palpable. You cannot truly comment on it unless you have experienced it acutely. Important to breathe deeply and entertain stillness.
Also I had abusive alcoholic mother from 7 years I cope with all this symptoms and now with my partner is same ....thank for giving me clarity 20 years I asked myself why I have pains all over my body why I have migrains now im diagnosted with polyneuropathy,it sucks 😢
This explains so much of what I'm now learning about. Almost 2 years out of my relationship with my soon to be ex-wife I'm finally understanding for the first time what was happening for 26 years and thank God I'm healing and feeling the best I've ever felt while still dealing with the PTSD. I wish I would have known what narcissism was and what was happening long ago.
I’ve literally lost my mind from this. My psychiatrist told me years ago I wouldn’t get better until this relationship ended. Well it finally has and I get myself together. My psychiatrist retired so I’m struggling to understand this better I’ve had these videos saved to watch for at least 2 years and am just now watching them.
Every thing horrible he did he said was merely a "reaction" to my behavior. He made me feel like I was the selfish one. "I" was crazy..."I" was the narcissist...Until I found these channels I was lost in mourning over his abandonment of me, anxiety over having NOTHING, and depression over having given up my entire life (friends, career, money, everything) to be with him when he needed me. I have been called a liar, crazy, unstable, deserving of my past abuse, selfish, and unable to function on my own. I seriously thought I was going nuts. I have had a horrible childhood that I managed to triumph over, abusive relationships, and I thought he was my savior. I ruined my life! I'm not 25 anymore! I just turned 40 and I'm worried I'll never find love again...Anyone else feel the same? Any advice? I'm super smart, attractive, and funny (Wow. I am happy I could type those things about myself!) Any help is greatly appreciated.
I'm still exhausted and it's been 7 years now! Unable to work anymore but have a good life. Yes hard to focus and feel like I have dementia forgetting stuff
I remember that fog. At the end of th e marriage when he left surprisingly . He called me one day and I was so confused I couldn't recall what he had JUST said to me. He would say I just took so and so to the store. I would pause and say so have you seen so and so. Um I just told you I took them to the store ! I didn't hear anything I was so on edge . So confusing. One I realized he was narcisist I said oh it was all a game no wonder I was a wreck! You are so right. 3 years after not seeing his face ( and divorce) I still am a different person . Still hypervigilant about people and pretty cold and I used to be very sweet and naive. I also used to think I was attractive now I dont even want to go out and I feel ugly and unwanted except by Jesus so I just cling to Him. And dogs. I dont have much connection with humans anymore but I love my family that's about it. I hope it changes. I've been through a year of therapy too . Thank you for the video.
This makes sense after 32 years of marriage to a narc, being told about his transactionship in another city, then within months that crumbled and he came back) then having to take care of him during his last 4 months of life(cancer).. For months on end I couldn’t stay awake by 11 am, but slowly started taking self care, getting out and sleeping again (most nights), it’s 9 months later and am so much better but still sad. The harsh reality is that if he were still alive, my torture would continue. I remind myself daily, I’m healthy, alive and free to be my own person now. There’s a lot of possibilities
Thank u for sharing this. U are saving my life. The only thing I now can’t get passed is - how can we let these people get away with it? It’s so so so scarey and painful to know that narcissists are REALLY ill and roaming free.
@@wills242 If a grown person took a candy bar from a 2 year old and ate it in front of them while the baby was confused and cried, would you blame the baby or the selfish taker? Sounds like if you hurt someone, you blame them for letting you, while they were still not aware of your selfish trickery. When we are onto the fact there are evil people we no longer put up with their s##t!
I'm being stalked. Every morning I go out to drink coffee and smoke a cigarette, he drives right by blasting music, back and forth, back and forth, yelling things. I just make no eye contact and keep reading my book or watching videos on my phone. I get followed when I walk to the store, when I'm at the bus stop,when I walk to the doctors. It's so exhausting and it's such an invasion of my human rights. I feel violated. I've already made a police report about the stalking.
This is so relevant! Right now I’m lying in bed, having lain there all day, exhausted and demoralised from having been subjected to an outburst of narcissistic rage by a member of the OAPs’ Lunch Club that I run. This person attached herself to me eight years ago and has been an irritant in my life ever since. She constantly demands attention and approval while simultaneously pouring scorn and contempt on everybody else. Last Lunch Club she expressed her usual contempt for our community magazine to which I’m a regular contributor. She’s said the same thing literally dozens of times before and I’m now fed up hearing her undermining and negativity, and I said so - she went BAZOOKAS!! 🚀🚀🚀As she did it in front of everybody else, however, I now have witnesses and a cast-iron reason for dumping her so, like so many narcissists, she has shot herself in the foot and given me the perfect escape.
I had a narcissist go off on me the other day and it wasn’t a long interaction but goodness I felt so drained the next couple of days. I didn’t understand why but this helped.
I can relate to what this lady is saying. Truthfully. I have the brain 🧠 fog. I have always been an avid book reader. A real bookworm. Loved my books. I can't remember when I last picked up a book and read it with real zest and enthusiasm. More than this I absolutely have zero concentration skills. That's what breaks my heart a lot. My loss of my own skills that I took for granted in the reading of me beloved books 📚. True and no exaggeration. FACT one of them, of my current Life.
Wow. I left my ex nearly 2 years ago after 10 years,he tried to kill me. After about 6 months of being free i noticed the brain fog and thought it was diet related with lack of animal fats. It all makes more sense now!! I was constantly in fear and anxiety and then i wasn't but the effects are still there
Thank you!! This is exactly what happened to me!!! This absolutely scared me to death!!! I couldn't figure out what was happening to me!!! I am no contact and feel like I am slightly getting me back!!!
Thank you so much for this video, my friends don't realy understand narsistic abuse and that is frustrating for me,but in there way they try to be there for me, but only th one's who go true this understand, , its now 2 years and 2 months sins i ended my relationship whit a cover narc. and im still revovering, i was wandering if you guy's also need to sleep alot, and waking up in the morning and going to bed later and wake up at 1 ,its hard not to judge myself,but it is hard for me to love myself not being that active like i was bevore,
It's getting worse with the realization, but for the better , we all need to educate ourselves about this people to understand and accept they exist so sad but true! Thank you excellent videos 💜
Damn!! I’m the scapegoat child of a single mother who is a highly narc beast. No wonder I couldn’t finish college. I just couldn’t focus and didn’t know how to organize my thoughts. I would just be so overwhelmed and didn’t know where to start with my to do’s.
6 months since I finished with my toxic environment. There were a few people that perhaps are not narcissists in the right sense, but they for sure were gaslighting on me. I am finally calmer now, I can focus, I can finish books, I can make to do lists now, I can look towards the future. So yeah... Small steps. I hope that by the end of the year to have even more capacity. :)
9 months later update: it's better, still sensitive from everything, but I am much more contained, more present, more aware. Still recovering, but in progress, so keep going
i have divorced such narc husband, one week ago. It was 5 months relationship. Currently i m going through this brain pressure as u said. My confidence is all time low. Constant headache. No energy at all.
Really helpful information, I thought I was going crazy not being able to focus, having nightmares about the narcissist, unable to focus or stop overthinking, having rage outbursts just so out of character for me but I'm healing now 😊 ❤
The narcissist places you in a state of sympathetic dominance. You can reverse this with an anti inflammatory diet, supplementation and behavioral modification that engages the executive function.
I don't even know what you're talking about here but, it made me nauseous just reading it. (sympathetic dominance...seriously, it makes me want to throw up. One more area of research I can do to learn how to heal. I believe you're absolutely correct with the anti-inflammatory diet. All the best to you Battle Hymn
This sums it up brilliantly, thanks so much for the video Caroline! The constant fight or flight is so damaging to you, and the weariness and reduced brain function can be very upsetting, it's good to know we are not crazy and can heal. Thanks again
I know this is an older vid but I searched it out today because I’m going through an absolute nightmare. Husband is taking off in a couple of weeks to meet his newest source and I dread when he returns. I’ve got gut issues, depression and anxiety but the worst is the inability to sleep! Tell me it gets better! I’m trying to hang in there but I can’t think clearly.
This really helped me understand the trauma I endured for years. Progress not perfection. High blood pressure, high cholesterol, weight gain from no-polar meds which contributes with brain fog. Meditation is awesome. Be kind to yourself. ;) it was years in abuse that I still have fight or flight mode. Understanding why I have so many medical and psychological problems. Complex PTSD, borderline personality etc. all these labels just signal the trauma bonding etc. My moms dead, my sole perpictator(sp?) so I’m thriving, not a victim. Ex husband was narc too. I was so used to chaos that to enjoy life now in peace is challenging but achievable, if that makes sense!!! Awesome support thank you for the video!!!❤️🙏
My ex was verbally abusive. I started feeling foggy immediately after the break up and 15 months in and am still foggy as hell. I will start meditating and see how it will effect this healing process. Thanks for posting this video.
I am not sure if I did right thing, I openly told my husband that I found out that he is a narcissist. And I told him I will start a Channel about our life and I will be honest about what is going on with me in my life with him, I have nothing to loose because I am so unhappy!!! Got so old suddenly! And I have no place to go((( Caroline, thank you for helping! Subscribed!
Just got done dealing with arguing with a condescending,arrogant,and toxic idiot online. It is so draining i feel horrible,but thank you for sharing your experience.
Mine are still able to do this to me. I had to endure an entire high school years with this type of abuse. It had a really negative effect on my college studies.
The slightest incident or a big upset makes me jumpy, jittery and nervy and irritable. It's like I have ceased to cope, sensibly and maturely with anything life throws at me. Be that big thing or a little thing. I get really flustered at shop checkouts. I have an organized system going on in my 👜 handbag. The act of locating my purse to pay the shop assistant, finding a suitable reusable shopping 🛍️ bag, within my handbag, freaks me out because I am always conscious of the queue, and holding it up so I panic inwardly at the till 😞
Then having paid you've got to pack your shopping away at the till, I have been so hypersensitive that I am holding the queue up sometimes I have scuttled away to the nearest corner, shopping in trolley 🛒 just to pack the goods away from my own purchase, in my own slow time. I can't do rushed . I move at a snails pace. In everything but particularly in my shopping. Don't want to hold the queue up! Can't have them muttering about the ultra slow woman 👠 who takes forever to pay and pack. Proper at the checkout Anxiety! 😞
I can relate. I'm sure there's a couple of floor manager's at my small town grocery store that hope I never come back. I loose all patience and act like a spoiled child when it comes to the check out. I've tried to act "normal" and mature but it seems like something comes over me and I turn into That. Customer.
Thanks for telling/ showing what goes wrong with our brain after this kinda abuse.. I have got almost all the answers I was looking for..thank you so much. I understand now where the fixing needs to happen.. Took me a lot of time to forgive ppl but finally I was able to do that. U r right abt the brain fog and gaslighting.. Cptsd.. These things are as real as it gets and it's a form of abuse. I still have my little angry outburst thankfully infront of my mom Or mostly alone. Narcs have lot of insecurity of thr own. I have no feeling towards them.. Ex and our common frnds wr major pain in the ass My family has stood by me thankfully couldn't understand but thankfully didn't kick me out of the house.
This video has been so helpful. Thank you! I told my ex that he gives me anxiety. He would even hide in the bushes outside my house, smh. Since breaking up, I have been still having the panic attacks. Now learning how to get better. Thanks again
I have had chronic brain fog for 14 years. It all came upon me with dissociation. I couldn't understand what happened to me and I was also bullied alot because of a jaw deformity I had. I had it until two years ago and I also grew up in an emotionally and verbally abusive home. My parents had a unstable relationship and one had a drug addiction most my life. So I had to deal with fighting in the house over money being wasted. My father was explosive and like a ticking time bomb. It felt like a suppressive atmosphere. Waiting for the next explosion. Seeing your father acting moody and irritated from drug withdrawals and creeping around the house trying not to make a sound incase they wake up.
Your light shines so bright through your eyes. I'm so inspired to know that some day my light will go back to shining too when I'm free from my narc family
WOW! that explains a lot! At the time I didn’t realize the abuse I was going through. But my health was declining so fast. There were those who accused me of being on drugs b/c of the dramatic weight loss. And my overall appearance. My Doctor explained to me I was experiencing adrenal fatigue. I am happy to say, I was able to remove myself from that living situation. It’s been about 7 months. But I still don’t feel 100% my whole self. I can only suppose 4 years living in a state of fight or flight will take a lot of self care, to get ME back on track. Thank you for your videos! 💜
I so relate to this. I lived in fight or flight for years. The pandemic resurrected this, and I wonder how many people have enlarged Amydalas because of this
I so wish this pain comes around to my abusers, I spent 8 months in the hospital, suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for decades, most of that is gone since being discarded.
The only thing that’s saved me and my sanity is Jesus Christ & wearing the armor of God Daily!!! I am recovering graciously & am protected in Jesus Name!!!
I experience everything she said. I felt like I was walking on eggshells in my own home. I didn’t know if we would argue and fight or if things would be okay! Scary 😧 I just need to be freed from everything because now my thyroid has swollen and I know it’s from stress.. I need it to go back to its normal state. Prayers prayers! God please protect me from those who are against your prayers and who want Ill to happen to your children! Protect my mind, body and soul amen 🙏🏾
sometimes when I drop off all 3 of my kids off at school and drop in daycare. I return home WANTING to be productive and catch up on chores only to sit down and just feel paralyzed till the last minute before the kids return... then it just adds onto your self hate, the narc WAS right, you can't even complete basic tasks, you can't just push through to meet the ordinary demands of life. I just sit, not wanting to move for as long as possible. it feels like being dead inside, anything that should motivate you to get up becomes a sense of rising dread. the world is slowly collapsing on you and you can't muster an ounce of will to do something "optional" (mild personal consequences).
My sister has been abusing me for years this way. Making me feel responsible for her. I developed Graves Disease 2 years ago. I recently went no contact when I figured out what she was doing to me. I was so angry. She always made me feel confused when we would get into conversation. I always left her not knowing exactly what just happened. I would always feel terrible but could never understand why. I'm so glad my eyes were opened. This was exhausting me for years. Now I'm just trying to recover. Of course I mourn the loss of her but I know it's best because she will never change. Thank you for explain the brain connection. It's scientifically happening. I hope I can heal my brain.
I'm #7 of 9 kids and the family scapegoat. They pushed me away years ago, when I finally realized what was happening I was able to let go of them instead of always longing for a relationship. They view me as a bad person, deserving of pain and rejection. I believe they will always have that mindset until they too can wake up and see the truth. My point is...when I finally realized they would never be able to see me for who I really am I was able to release them knowing I'm better off without them. And I say that last part because it was ALWAYS such a struggle to be a part of them; boy have they made my life difficult to the point of miserable. Family dynamics suck! I'm really sorry about your sister and I too hope you can heal...I hope your sister can heal too. I wish you all the best @Elizabeth
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I sufferred horendous narc abuse for 10 years and I sufferred severe exhaustion and severe memory loss and ultimately a severe mental breakdown and ended up in a secure mental hospital. These people should face criminal charges.
Indeed...narcs should be criminalized.
I completely agree!!!!
Hope you're doing okay.
I'm there. Too tired to live. So scared I'm ngmi😥
Prayers to help and do not give up.
ua-cam.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSOKe3VpFzWkFHZSLwrgb4RM.html
@@sadone6567 dont be feared cut them of thats all
THE NARCISSIST'S PRAYER:
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did...
You deserved it!
How is it a prayer, though?
@@i.anthony1247 Or the Narcissist's refrain
Oh awesome. Gotta read this to my mother.that evil woman is the reason I have brain fog. Me and my sis have suffered terrible physical, deviant sexual behavior, been molested by my dad's father and my mother knew and made us go back for more. My mother says terrible things to me, She crippled me by pushing me pushing 7-Eleven
@@michelelanza2824 I believe you
@@mariamalhotra8228 thank you. I had 3 surgeries, almost died. I came home 2 and a half months later and she is abusing emotionally , psychological, and hit me twice last week. Help. What should I do? If her continue on and.es
And then the narcissist complains that you're always tired!
First they drain u and then they accuse u for not being there as a great supply to them. They are sick!
Or say ur lazy!
Me and my ex narc had a sleep number bed. I would fall asleep with my number at 65 then I would wake up and my bed would be at 30. She was changing my number in the middle of the night so I wouldn't get a good night sleep.
@@stevens4492 why is it they are so obsessed about sleep?
@@stevens4492 Then probably making snarky comments about you had no energy the next day:(
This is exactly what I have experienced. The brain fog, not able to concentrate reading, watching television and even in conversations. I have had many health problems as well, producing too much stomach acid, depression, PTSD and fibromyalgia.
Tasha Montero, you deserve better
Similar problems! All the best to you!!! 🤞
Same
@@PanthORandPonAY Hello Jaime, I don't know if you will read this, but if you do - I just want you to know that things will get better, you're not alone. Im sorry you have to go through all of this. I know how it feels like to be in such a relationship, how deeply it wounds and hurts you. I hope you get through this and I want you to remember that I believe in you
I felt the same 😔
It’s amazing reading the comments and realizing how many of us are experiencing the same thing. I thought it was just me.
Same here...quite amazing how many of us have had these critters in our lives.
😝
Yes. So true. These comments sections are basically a support group to me.
@@tnijoo5109 me too. I enjoy reading the comments because it's so helpful to me; sadly the comments enlighten me and help me to know I'm not alone. I didn't know life could be so incredibly pain-filled.
@@estherann7407 You’re definitely not alone. I think the most tragic aspect of all the pain and trauma is that it was all so unnecessary. But here we are all learning to deal with it and trying to figure out how to function like normal people. Come back to these comments if you ever need a friend and hopefully I’ll get the notification. Sending love. 💓
i cant handle the stress anymore, it's the worst thing i've ever been through, thanks for sharing
You can handle this - one day, one hour, at a time. Hang in there
You certainly aren’t alone!! We are all here hoping to get ourselves back in order. We are cheering for you!!
Gigi its harder in a lockdown, most of this is the lockdown,try to walk a dog get out alone .its so bad for me to ,nò escape from him ,good luck xx
@@carolmiles553 thank you Carol 💜. I hope you get better too. Huge hug for you
I feel you. I can't remember the last time I felt secure or safe from abuse. Nobody deserves to be abused in front of their child.
I used to be laid back to the point where my friends would pull little pranks on me just to see if I'd get angry. Now I get angry and hysterical over tiny things and I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Same 😭
I can relate. I don’t even recognize myself anymore.
Prayers to help and do not give up.
ua-cam.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSNenmX0clUUdyZEr7m2AYte.html
Omfg you’re not alone
Same 😞
It’s a total mind****, cognitive dissonance when you can work out someone’s toxic behaviour. Once you see those subtle red flags it’s game over for the narcissist.
Neil Jarmola true 👌🏻
I had the worst brain fog after 1 year spending everyday with my narc ex. It took me 3 months to recover I had a heavy pressure on my head and felt lifeless. Thank God I did positive affirmations, started exercising again and eating properly. Here I am now healing and x100 times better. You can do it guys x
Oh my god. Thank you for sharing. Like holy fuck
@@mxruwa5741 You’re welcome. Yh these narcs can affect your physical health a lot.
Prayers to help and these soul healing prayers helped me.
ua-cam.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSOKe3VpFzWkFHZSLwrgb4RM.html
Thank you so much for this, I feel a Sense of Self-love and selfcare awakening again 💙
Reading that made me remember when Jennett McCurdy said her mom taught her how to be bulimic to stay skinny and now I think back to him trying to teaching me to eat once a day like him to save money just another next step you don't see happening until it's spelled out to you
After 26 years of marriage, I admitted to myself that I was married to a narcissist.
High blood pressure, chronic migraine and anxiety/panic attacks... when I left, I lost 11 pounds almost immediately which I attribute to the loss of cortisol hormones throughout my body. Migraines are improving and I hope to reduce all meds when the divorce is final and I can have true freedom and peace.
Pp0,,qppp1,,
Prayers to help
Prayers to help and do not give up.
ua-cam.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSNenmX0clUUdyZEr7m2AYte.html
How are you doing now, Carla?
@@anna8328 I’m doing better every day. It’s not happening as quickly as I would like, but it is happening. Thank you for asking.
@@carlapostlethwait4397 I just met up w a friend who moved out from her narc X only one month ago- the look of lightness on her face was undeniable- she looked like a different person.
Marriage should not wring you out like you are an old dishcloth. Glad you are free:)
I've had brain fog for 3 and a half years, can hardly conversate properly like I used to. It sucks
Narc abuse sucks. I find myself always suspicious of others
@@dontbelongherefromanother Same here. I used to be so relaxed and trusting around people, now it's like constant hypervigilance even with people I've known for years
Same .....
Same, my mind was blended at speed 10 for decades. Surprised I'm still alive.
Wow you're not the only one like wise i have experienced brain fog , cptsd , anxiety , dread , insomnia , fatigue and depression for over a decade now !!!!! Life hasn't been easy for me at all !!!!! I have been through alot !!!!!
The first thing that happened when I started truth telling in my narcissistic family was that my memory improved tremendously.
No wonder I was always sweating and my heart was always racing! I even had stress eczema!
I developed aFib...all stress related.
I never fully made the connection between my eczema flare ups and these anxieties!
SAME
I experienced stress eczema, too felt like a spiritual attack 😫
Yes, me too! All kinds of body issues I never had before.
“The Fog” is so intriguing. I was only “friends” (not intimate) with my ex-narc and even after a year of no contact (once I had that aha moment when I shockingly realized who I was dealing with) my brain still isn’t entirely out of the fog although it has definitely come a long way in a year. I honestly can’t even imagine what those of you who have intimate relationships with these people go through. So glad you made it out before it was too late. Not everyone escapes.
Goldilocks Thankyou and glad you have gone no contact 🦋
I understand what it feels like to have brain fog. It is debilitating and you are unable to concentrate and make sound decisions. It's amazing how the mind is affected from narc abuse.
This is how I know I'm being illegally surveillance and maliciously harassed...i.g they deliberately wait until I start a movie, then resort to some sort of noise harassment(slamming car door, honking horn, indirect verbal communication outside of your resident, banging on wall by surrounding tenants, idling outside resident blasting loud music, etc.) and will do the same thing when movie is ending or has ended. They carry out these same annoying tactics with basically everything I do throughout the day. When I turn on my phone, press play on a UA-cam video, roll over in bed, put a period after a sentence. It is very obnoxious behavior that is being done in my community and wherever I go by a wicked organization with a very wicked agenda that involves slow torturing, mimicking, electronic harassment, direct energy weapons, witchcraft, money, time and plenty negative energy. And I know without a doubt that those acts are directed towards me because the noise harassment is totally different when I'm not as active. Unless they want me up and/or upset than they get very annoying with their tactics to provoke me into reacting. And that's where the mental abuse arises because they are doing things to covertly show you that you're being illegally monitored and not only are they watching you but using the information gathered to harass you by subliminally communicating and doing mimicking tactics on a daily which could shut a reasonable person down from wanting to do anything and they wait until you're all depress then bombard you with the insults of being lazy or not doing enough and using the effect of the trauma they've placed in your life as the reason why you're life is the way it is. Even when putting the period on that last sentence the surrounding tenant resorted to noise harassment. They will use random perps from all body of organizations to confuse you and/or intimidate you. But it is written...
I just escaped three days ago from being with him only four months. But I have truma bond, PTSD, depression, anxiety, um I'm still trying to remember everything. I'm getting all the effects from him. He said he would have someone to come down at night time to hurt me and blocked yesterday and stop talking to him since sun. He doesn't know where I live, doesn't have my bank account number. He asked for it and I said no,. Witch they hate to hear. My address, my password to my phone, my friend people. . At the end of the day I was aware of his behavior, his apologize, how he would say I'm going to learn from that. If I didn't agree I would ask and that when I recognized on how he was treating me, and they affect of what I started to do since yesterday night is to look underneath my bed , when it used to happen to me when I was 8 yr old. Got raped and became a slave my orphanage and he knows about it. That not the rt feeling to do at night time. If anyone knows any advice I could use it. And it's getting night time.
@@claudiazamari1819 I recommend becoming extremely competitive and a warrior and starting to look it at like they should be scared of you. Get into strength training, martial arts. Anything like that and look at yourself as a terminator. It works. I had started dating someone new and their ex wife was gang stalking me and the guy wasn't supportive to make it stop so I left him. I kept dating and found a guy I liked a lot and we became bf/gf. He also had a crazy ex and she would not stop calling him getting new numbers and messing up my sleep. I was so tired and just cracked. I tried being ignoring it didn't work, tried being nice saying he's with me now please leave us alone it didn't work. I finally so tired amd done with this demons I just snapped and told her if you don't leave him and us alone, I'm going to kill you. It worked. Never heard from her again. These people are cowards but we are not. I meant what I said also. They are trying to kill me slowly and I will defend myself it is my right. Taking a harsh approach is the only thing that has ever gotten these people to leave me alone sadly. But I embrace it now and even when I was leaving my ex narc who was the worst covert devil he said I can't do this anymore im scared of you. You just have to go there with them. When he hoovered months later I purposely caused a narc injury and replied with a man saying back off. No longer doi see myself as a victim but a narc hunter and they cannot handle being around me because it kills them. There is your answer that bears results.
Brain fog, stomach problems, acid reflux, sometimes dry skin problems etc.. Comfort eating, anxiety walks (during covid lockdown). The list just goes on for years... Even starting from school bullies!
From bullying in elementary school to narcissistic abuse when getting a masters degree and then becoming disabled by a brain infection before Covid. I dunno what normal was then. Until I got Covid and got left in bed to die with my hopes and dreams that will always be in the past. Guess it sucks when you get cancelled out your own life.
I grew up in a dysfunctional family and I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 10 years and it truly affected me..
My mother and father where both narcissists, my step father was an alcoholic, walking on eggshells was an understatement. Primed from birth, I married a narcissist, surprise! 28 years with a narcissistic husband, I was a mess mentally and physically! My abdomen began getting larger and larger, I went to my endocrinologist he checked my cortisol levels were off the charts, but he had not solution or magic pill. It got so bad for me mentally just as you explained. I attempted suicide😢, I saw no other way as the abuse was basically my whole life. By the grace of God, I am still here, my doctor would not let me out of the hospital if I didn’t find an alternative place to live. He said if I was to go back to my husband it would happen again and I may not survive next time. There was no love left in my marriage, 6 yrs no intimacy, but I had 3 children who I had dedicated my life to, my choice! Fast forward, I did not go back, my children ranged from 16-21. Excluding my youngest I had been there for them. What followed was very difficult but I did not go back. It’s been 8 years since I left, my children forgave me, my cortisol levels are better, my memory is better than it ever was! And I am at peace for the 1st time in my life. I remarried a good man, who never has a negative word towards me. I am 58. Your not crazy, your abused! There is hope though, I made it😅
I’ve been involved in a narcissistic abuse, and to tell you it’s the worst thing that could happen. It left me traumatized, I felt so hurt and angry from all the painful memories I’ve had with my ex.
My friends and family have started to get annoyed by my lack of focus and memory. I've called it brain fog, but never associated it with the breakup from my narcissistic ex. And I've also developed several health problems, that I never associated with my narcissistic ex either... Thank You for helping me see things clearer!
Brittney Hash,You don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
I have been foggy for 3 years. Diagnosed with chronic depression. I contemplated suicide a lot. Last month several terrible things happened in my family. I knew I had to step up and help. You would think that several tragedies happening would send you even further into the fog. Something incredible happened, I woke up one morning and I was able to think again. I'm not better but I feel like I've been given another chance. I have been really focusing on how I react to every situation. I even talk out loud. If I say it out loud it makes it real. It is hard not to panic or just go back to bed. I know it's going to be a challenge. I keep telling myself that I have to literally change the way I think. I'm in training and maybe one day I'll be a pro. This only happened about a week ago and my family is afraid that I've hit some euphoric state. Someone said riding the pink cloud or something. But I know the reality of the situation. Before this fog set in I was very intelligent. My thoughts were always so fast that sometimes my mouth couldn't keep up. I loved math and reading and had ideas. The fog took all of that away. I would start a conversation and knew what I wanted to say but I could find words sometimes. I felt so stupid. I would say I'm sorry I can't find my words. I used to be smart but I guess I'm just dumb now. I couldn't even read a book. I would say it's just so foggy. There was a constant weight in my head that I can't explain too. I am so determined to keep my clear mind. I have to because if I go back there again, I won't make it this time. I probably do seem crazy to people that have never been there. I am talking out loud to myself but it is on purpose. I keep saying I have all the words. My thoughts have a beginning and an end. I thought I broke my brain. I know that I am the only one that can make me better. I really really have to or it will kill me. I was with a horrible narcissist for 15 years. I am divorced now but it was just crazy trying to get away from him. He was a snake. He did things to our children that they didn't tell me until after the divorce. The guilt I felt for not knowing and not leaving sooner ate me alive. My kids are awesome and very close with me but they rarely speak to him. They will be fighting for their mental health forever because of him.
Wish me luck. Thank you for this video. It really helps to know that I'm not crazy and this brain fog they called depression happens.
It's unfortunate that some never get over narc abuse
So glad you got out-I hope that life is better for you now. The suffering after abuse is real. Thank you for sharing your story.
I am so sorry put your trust in GOD
Prayers to help and I found out soul healing prayer help to heal the damage but not every one can get away.
ua-cam.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSNenmX0clUUdyZEr7m2AYte.html
YES! The brain fog and exhaustion is debilitating!!! When they come anywhere near me this gets so bad that l can barely function. And l am no genius but l would consider myself reasonably intelligent and capable. They make it impossible to carry out the most basic tasks.....even bathing.....everything becomes this huge challenge! I can't read anymore. And l love reading. Unless it's a children's book. Scary how demonic and evil these people are that they cause physical symptoms......pain....lack of concentration etc. This helps make sense of what l go through on a daily basis.....on and off because they hoover and discard.....hoover and discard. What they say and what they do don't match up. Like dealing with lunatics......trying to make sense of nonsense. Even my arms start to burn like they're on fire!!
The other day I was needing to put an extra blanket on my bed due to the cold weather upon us. I couldn't make a decision which blanket I wanted to put on or which blanket should go on top of the other. That's how bad narcissistic abuse can get, one can't even make the simplest decision. Finally I just put the blanket on and as I did I was so proud of myself for being pro-active and making a decision instead of procrastinating. It's the little victories that count!!
My mother has done this to me all my life. All my life.
I had a weird experience like this and found myself literally unable to keep myself awake whenever we were together and it used to make him so angry, but no matter what I tried, it was like my mind just shut down whenever I was in a stressful situation towards the end of our marriage. I even went to the doctor, who said it sounded like some kind of narcolepsy. I had to stop driving also, as I couldn’t concentrate and was driving to my mums instead of the nursery or home instead of to the shops, or needing to pull over for a nap half way to a destination if it was more than a few minutes away and I didn’t think I was safe to be on the roads anymore. I decided that it it was my bodies way of escaping from a situation that I wanted to get away from, but was unable to do physically. When I left, the sudden falling asleep symptom stopped happening as often and eventually stopped altogether, but it took several years for my general fatigue and exhaustion to recover. I did end up with a thyroid problem and an auto immune illness as well, which also seems to have subsided now I am relaxed for the great majority of my life. I wouldn’t put myself through anything like that again.
I'm literally in tears. I was in a couple of long term abusive relationships, I was beaten for long periods of time by the people I cared about the most. I've cut contact with them but I'm left with the cycle of being terrified. every relationship I'm in I can never handle any stress including my partner's and I just assume the worst. I never understood all my intense vomiting, eczema, panic attacks and sweating were caused by narcissistic abuse everyone always told me I was just sick and crazy. this video made me realize that I can actually get help and I'm not the only one who struggles on a day to day basis. thank you for uploading.
God bless you
Prayers to help and do not give up. Sadly abuse brakes your soul so soul healing prayers help.
ua-cam.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSNenmX0clUUdyZEr7m2AYte.html
I wish I was still able to cry...
I've found it to be very challenging to be safe. I know it's a mindset but I can't seem to shake it. Because I don't feel safe around others I've isolated myself to have the peace I'm looking for.
During period of abusive relationship and work I developed awful acne and was vomiting a lot. Now I know why.
i’m 61, and only just figured out why i’m so anxious and poorly. my son died age 39, my mother has used it as a stick to beat me. yesterday after a huge triggering i again made the decision to cut ties, for 48 hours i’ve been in melt down.so glad these channels exist.
I just said a prayer for you. Sending e-hug your way. God Bless You.
I come from an abusive family and was bullied at school. i then married an abusive man. As a single parent I was ostracised and bullied by neighbours (especially their children). I then got a job (10 years) where I was bullied before being driven out of my job. I was unable to function for about 2 years, where I was too exhausted to get through the day. To this day I have bad regulation of my emotions.
This video made me cry 😭 You’ve explained what I’ve been feeling for years in the simplest way. Your voice is so soothing. Thank you so much Caroline. I had to subscribe 🌸
Lilith Rose bless you!!! With understanding can come awareness and healing 🙏😘
I thought it was only me.
finally understand why i’ve always been THIS “clumsy” and “forgetful 🙏🏼
No wonder I was depressed anxious and always crying...I can't wait to heal
Oh man.. this explained so much. I have brain fog so bad, and rage inside me comes out at some of the stupidest stuff. If I'm folding clothes and a sock falls on the floor, I'm instantly upset. I couldn't understand why until I watched this. Also, I have been worried about my physical health because I can tell there is something wrong with me... and don't even get me started on the insomnia.. I am lucky to get 3-4 hours a day, if that. It is nice to know that I am not the only one and I'm not crazy... and it can be turned around.. thank you.
Oh wow! My therapist told me this, u r good. I’m 8months narcissist free, working on myslf. I do not wish a narcissist on anyone.
This is so me. Just can’t remember and scatter brained. We start to feel like we are really going crazy. Our minds are wore out from all the cognitive dissonance
18 years narcabuse. I havent been able to take my drivings license and I was an A student once. What a waste of time walking on eggschells for an idiot. Hopefully after gaining strengh again I can take my licence.
I suffered from brain fog and extreme exhaustion. Lately I was told I have acid reflux. I just told myself that I wasn't gonna give up on myself. I have done a lot of research and have been able to improve my memory. I am so grateful I finally regained my freedom. I will continue to fight until I get to where I ought to be. Thanks Caroline!
I went no contact nearly a year ago with my narc mom and step dad. I am now more exhausted than even, seems I never get enough sleep, and if I wake up ruminating at 3am I have to get out of bed to pray and meditate so I might be able to get back to bed. Being super sleepy means you are finally letting go of all the trauma and starting to heal.
There will be trauma stuck in your body as your nervous system may not have caught up with knowing that the danger is in the past & therefore might be keeping you in shutdown to protect you. Check out my recovery programme that will help to process the trauma into the past by working at a somatic (in the body) level becksales--carolinestrawson.thrivecart.com/ntrp-gbp/ let me know what you think xx
I only recently ended things with my husband & had no idea he was a narc until i started reading & checking out youtube....so obvious now & i am so glad to be able to put a name to the p&s.
I was a nurse, and I'm an empath (which I really didn't know before, and I'm still trying to accept what that even MEANS...doesn't feel like a "blessing" to me, AND it's something I'm not even really comfortable saying because it sounds like I'm making some grand claim, and I don't feel that it makes me "special" at ALL.)
Anyway...I DO understand the physiological effects of abuse, and I ALWAYS understood that the situation I was in WAS abuse, but that didn't stop me from believing that there was something worth fighting for, that he had enough goodness in him that I could actually TEACH him healthy love. I made excuses for him, due to his childhood, past traumas, drug addiction, etc.
AND I KNOW BETTER.
No one can fix someone else. No one can "love" someone to an epiphany or mental health.
But it didn't stop me from clinging to hope.
Now I'm sitting in a strange state, far from home, in a shelter, not knowing which way to go. I want my strength back. I want better. I just want to be free.
@Angela Thank you, Angela!
Love and light to you!
Omg....I know exactly how that feels....I pray God help us all!!!
Omg you read my heart 100%
@@reginhess4421 Me, tooooo!! ❤
@@tiffytoo I'm sorry, Tiffany. This year is a brand new start for ALL of us! ❤
BROKEN FROM THE VERY START AND STILL BROKEN
All that consumes me is telling her how much she has severely damaged me. I was debility physical pain right from the beginning. I seriously thought I was going to die. I'm glad I removed her from my life. 2 weeks after her being gone my health rapidly improved.
You made me cry tonight but I feel so much better, thank you for affirming my life atm. Nice that someone understands as I've been hiding away in all of these symptoms, alone at home feeling very hurt and crumbling outside my 4 walls. Thank you for doing this video lovely lady ❤
My Italian narcissistic ex was the worst example of a narc I've ever seen. True evil. 7 months into it I was able to leave. He took my friends with him who are still under his spell, but I'm finally free
'Under his spell' is an apt expression. I was always rather the pragmatic type but spells have a role in the world of those narcs. I don't deny their application anymore. They are dark forces that cut deep and it was palpable. You cannot truly comment on it unless you have experienced it acutely. Important to breathe deeply and entertain stillness.
Also I had abusive alcoholic mother from 7 years I cope with all this symptoms and now with my partner is same ....thank for giving me clarity 20 years I asked myself why I have pains all over my body why I have migrains now im diagnosted with polyneuropathy,it sucks 😢
This explains so much of what I'm now learning about. Almost 2 years out of my relationship with my soon to be ex-wife I'm finally understanding for the first time what was happening for 26 years and thank God I'm healing and feeling the best I've ever felt while still dealing with the PTSD. I wish I would have known what narcissism was and what was happening long ago.
I’ve literally lost my mind from this. My psychiatrist told me years ago I wouldn’t get better until this relationship ended. Well it finally has and I get myself together. My psychiatrist retired so I’m struggling to understand this better I’ve had these videos saved to watch for at least 2 years and am just now watching them.
Every thing horrible he did he said was merely a "reaction" to my behavior. He made me feel like I was the selfish one. "I" was crazy..."I" was the narcissist...Until I found these channels I was lost in mourning over his abandonment of me, anxiety over having NOTHING, and depression over having given up my entire life (friends, career, money, everything) to be with him when he needed me. I have been called a liar, crazy, unstable, deserving of my past abuse, selfish, and unable to function on my own. I seriously thought I was going nuts. I have had a horrible childhood that I managed to triumph over, abusive relationships, and I thought he was my savior. I ruined my life! I'm not 25 anymore! I just turned 40 and I'm worried I'll never find love again...Anyone else feel the same? Any advice? I'm super smart, attractive, and funny (Wow. I am happy I could type those things about myself!) Any help is greatly appreciated.
Ditto
I feel you . I’m 36 and saying wtf!!!
Exactly same thought he was my angel my children in the end said enough 8 couldn't function any more now on meds and sick
At least I know I’m not lazy for no reason, I’m so comfortable hiding and being anti social and fatigued
I'm still exhausted and it's been 7 years now! Unable to work anymore but have a good life. Yes hard to focus and feel like I have dementia forgetting stuff
I remember that fog. At the end of th e marriage when he left surprisingly . He called me one day and I was so confused I couldn't recall what he had JUST said to me. He would say I just took so and so to the store. I would pause and say so have you seen so and so. Um I just told you I took them to the store ! I didn't hear anything I was so on edge . So confusing. One I realized he was narcisist I said oh it was all a game no wonder I was a wreck! You are so right. 3 years after not seeing his face ( and divorce) I still am a different person . Still hypervigilant about people and pretty cold and I used to be very sweet and naive. I also used to think I was attractive now I dont even want to go out and I feel ugly and unwanted except by Jesus so I just cling to Him. And dogs. I dont have much connection with humans anymore but I love my family that's about it. I hope it changes. I've been through a year of therapy too . Thank you for the video.
I'm physically exhausted/drained o feel like I havent sleep good in yrs and I'm in my 20s.
This makes sense after 32 years of marriage to a narc, being told about his transactionship in another city, then within months that crumbled and he came back) then having to take care of him during his last 4 months of life(cancer).. For months on end I couldn’t stay awake by 11 am, but slowly started taking self care, getting out and sleeping again (most nights), it’s 9 months later and am so much better but still sad. The harsh reality is that if he were still alive, my torture would continue. I remind myself daily, I’m healthy, alive and free to be my own person now. There’s a lot of possibilities
Thank u for sharing this. U are saving my life. The only thing I now can’t get passed is - how can we let these people get away with it? It’s so so so scarey and painful to know that narcissists are REALLY ill and roaming free.
We cannot punish others for our shortcomings in judging them
@@wills242 narcissists are repeat offenders. They put innocent people through so much trauma that can last through generations
@@wills242 If a grown person took a candy bar from a 2 year old and ate it in front of them while the baby was confused and cried, would you blame the baby or the selfish taker? Sounds like if you hurt someone, you blame them for letting you, while they were still not aware of your selfish trickery. When we are onto the fact there are evil people we no longer put up with their s##t!
Wow I relate to the elephant memory. I had exceptional memory - it’s like my Brian turned to mush. Very painful indeed
Prayers to help and these soul healing prayers helped me.
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I'm being stalked. Every morning I go out to drink coffee and smoke a cigarette, he drives right by blasting music, back and forth, back and forth, yelling things. I just make no eye contact and keep reading my book or watching videos on my phone. I get followed when I walk to the store, when I'm at the bus stop,when I walk to the doctors. It's so exhausting and it's such an invasion of my human rights. I feel violated. I've already made a police report about the stalking.
Monumental. Thank you, Gabby Petito, for bringing me here. Thank you, Caroline for being here.
I have fibromyalgia and polineuropathy......and also Im in toxic abusive narcistic and manipulated relationship seven years ....thanks fot this video
This is so relevant! Right now I’m lying in bed, having lain there all day, exhausted and demoralised from having been subjected to an outburst of narcissistic rage by a member of the OAPs’ Lunch Club that I run. This person attached herself to me eight years ago and has been an irritant in my life ever since. She constantly demands attention and approval while simultaneously pouring scorn and contempt on everybody else. Last Lunch Club she expressed her usual contempt for our community magazine to which I’m a regular contributor. She’s said the same thing literally dozens of times before and I’m now fed up hearing her undermining and negativity, and I said so - she went BAZOOKAS!! 🚀🚀🚀As she did it in front of everybody else, however, I now have witnesses and a cast-iron reason for dumping her so, like so many narcissists, she has shot herself in the foot and given me the perfect escape.
I had a narcissist go off on me the other day and it wasn’t a long interaction but goodness I felt so drained the next couple of days. I didn’t understand why but this helped.
I can relate to what this lady is saying. Truthfully. I have the brain 🧠 fog. I have always been an avid book reader. A real bookworm. Loved my books. I can't remember when I last picked up a book and read it with real zest and enthusiasm. More than this I absolutely have zero concentration skills. That's what breaks my heart a lot. My loss of my own skills that I took for granted in the reading of me beloved books 📚. True and no exaggeration. FACT one of them, of my current Life.
Wow. I left my ex nearly 2 years ago after 10 years,he tried to kill me. After about 6 months of being free i noticed the brain fog and thought it was diet related with lack of animal fats. It all makes more sense now!!
I was constantly in fear and anxiety and then i wasn't but the effects are still there
You are describing my life right now. I'm not crazy.
Thank you!! This is exactly what happened to me!!! This absolutely scared me to death!!! I couldn't figure out what was happening to me!!! I am no contact and feel like I am slightly getting me back!!!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought I was physically ill! Even though nothing pathological occurs! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for this video, my friends don't realy understand narsistic abuse and that is frustrating for me,but in there way they try to be there for me, but only th one's who go true this understand, , its now 2 years and 2 months sins i ended my relationship whit a cover narc. and im still revovering, i was wandering if you guy's also need to sleep alot, and waking up in the morning and going to bed later and wake up at 1 ,its hard not to judge myself,but it is hard for me to love myself not being that active like i was bevore,
Exactly me too
It's getting worse with the realization, but for the better , we all need to educate ourselves about this people to understand and accept they exist so sad but true! Thank you excellent videos 💜
My therapist told me to celebrate that I often feel more incapable of doing basic tasks because I am feeling, not disassociating.
Damn!! I’m the scapegoat child of a single mother who is a highly narc beast. No wonder I couldn’t finish college. I just couldn’t focus and didn’t know how to organize my thoughts. I would just be so overwhelmed and didn’t know where to start with my to do’s.
Great thing you're aware now. Continue being aware.
Prayers to help and do not give up.
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6 months since I finished with my toxic environment. There were a few people that perhaps are not narcissists in the right sense, but they for sure were gaslighting on me. I am finally calmer now, I can focus, I can finish books, I can make to do lists now, I can look towards the future. So yeah... Small steps. I hope that by the end of the year to have even more capacity. :)
9 months later update: it's better, still sensitive from everything, but I am much more contained, more present, more aware. Still recovering, but in progress, so keep going
i have divorced such narc husband, one week ago. It was 5 months relationship. Currently i m going through this brain pressure as u said. My confidence is all time low. Constant headache. No energy at all.
This is the best advice I have heard, (after suffering narcissistic abuse for 35 years) thank you so much.
This was a relief because it explain what and why we 've been experiencing, and still are. It is also helpful and painful at the same time...
Really helpful information, I thought I was going crazy not being able to focus, having nightmares about the narcissist, unable to focus or stop overthinking, having rage outbursts just so out of character for me but I'm healing now 😊 ❤
The narcissist places you in a state of sympathetic dominance. You can reverse this with an anti inflammatory diet, supplementation and behavioral modification that engages the executive function.
I don't even know what you're talking about here but, it made me nauseous just reading it. (sympathetic dominance...seriously, it makes me want to throw up.
One more area of research I can do to learn how to heal. I believe you're absolutely correct with the anti-inflammatory diet.
All the best to you Battle Hymn
I’m constantly nervous and I can’t take it anymore
I hear ya bro. I’m not sure that it’s going to go away.
Guys try therapy first and take every word very seriously that therapist will tell ya
You don’t know how much I needed this. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart
This sums it up brilliantly, thanks so much for the video Caroline! The constant fight or flight is so damaging to you, and the weariness and reduced brain function can be very upsetting, it's good to know we are not crazy and can heal. Thanks again
I know this is an older vid but I searched it out today because I’m going through an absolute nightmare. Husband is taking off in a couple of weeks to meet his newest source and I dread when he returns. I’ve got gut issues, depression and anxiety but the worst is the inability to sleep! Tell me it gets better! I’m trying to hang in there but I can’t think clearly.
This really helped me understand the trauma I endured for years. Progress not perfection. High blood pressure, high cholesterol, weight gain from no-polar meds which contributes with brain fog. Meditation is awesome. Be kind to yourself. ;) it was years in abuse that I still have fight or flight mode. Understanding why I have so many medical and psychological problems. Complex PTSD, borderline personality etc. all these labels just signal the trauma bonding etc. My moms dead, my sole perpictator(sp?) so I’m thriving, not a victim. Ex husband was narc too. I was so used to chaos that to enjoy life now in peace is challenging but achievable, if that makes sense!!! Awesome support thank you for the video!!!❤️🙏
My ex was verbally abusive. I started feeling foggy immediately after the break up and 15 months in and am still foggy as hell. I will start meditating and see how it will effect this healing process. Thanks for posting this video.
This makes a lot of sense; more sense than anything else i've seen.
I am not sure if I did right thing, I openly told my husband that I found out that he is a narcissist. And I told him I will start a Channel about our life and I will be honest about what is going on with me in my life with him, I have nothing to loose because I am so unhappy!!! Got so old suddenly! And I have no place to go((( Caroline, thank you for helping! Subscribed!
Just got done dealing with arguing with a condescending,arrogant,and toxic idiot online. It is so draining i feel horrible,but thank you for sharing your experience.
Mine are still able to do this to me. I had to endure an entire high school years with this type of abuse. It had a really negative effect on my college studies.
The slightest incident or a big upset makes me jumpy, jittery and nervy and irritable. It's like I have ceased to cope, sensibly and maturely with anything life throws at me. Be that big thing or a little thing. I get really flustered at shop checkouts. I have an organized system going on in my 👜 handbag. The act of locating my purse to pay the shop assistant, finding a suitable reusable shopping 🛍️ bag, within my handbag, freaks me out because I am always conscious of the queue, and holding it up so I panic inwardly at the till 😞
Then having paid you've got to pack your shopping away at the till, I have been so hypersensitive that I am holding the queue up sometimes I have scuttled away to the nearest corner, shopping in trolley 🛒 just to pack the goods away from my own purchase, in my own slow time. I can't do rushed . I move at a snails pace. In everything but particularly in my shopping. Don't want to hold the queue up! Can't have them muttering about the ultra slow woman 👠 who takes forever to pay and pack. Proper at the checkout Anxiety! 😞
I can relate. I'm sure there's a couple of floor manager's at my small town grocery store that hope I never come back. I loose all patience and act like a spoiled child when it comes to the check out. I've tried to act "normal" and mature but it seems like something comes over me and I turn into That. Customer.
Married to one and holed up in a beach house barely doing anything, wondering what's wrong with me. Thank you now I know.
Thanks for telling/ showing what goes wrong with our brain after this kinda abuse.. I have got almost all the answers I was looking for..thank you so much. I understand now where the fixing needs to happen..
Took me a lot of time to forgive ppl but finally I was able to do that.
U r right abt the brain fog and gaslighting.. Cptsd.. These things are as real as it gets and it's a form of abuse. I still have my little angry outburst thankfully infront of my mom Or mostly alone.
Narcs have lot of insecurity of thr own. I have no feeling towards them.. Ex and our common frnds wr major pain in the ass
My family has stood by me thankfully couldn't understand but thankfully didn't kick me out of the house.
Yep. Feels like all is lost at this point and I’m 34.
This video has been so helpful. Thank you! I told my ex that he gives me anxiety. He would even hide in the bushes outside my house, smh. Since breaking up, I have been still having the panic attacks. Now learning how to get better. Thanks again
My mother is a narcissist thank you for this i need help
THIS actual video changed my life.. thank you Caroline
I have had chronic brain fog for 14 years. It all came upon me with dissociation. I couldn't understand what happened to me and I was also bullied alot because of a jaw deformity I had. I had it until two years ago and I also grew up in an emotionally and verbally abusive home. My parents had a unstable relationship and one had a drug addiction most my life. So I had to deal with fighting in the house over money being wasted. My father was explosive and like a ticking time bomb. It felt like a suppressive atmosphere. Waiting for the next explosion. Seeing your father acting moody and irritated from drug withdrawals and creeping around the house trying not to make a sound incase they wake up.
Prayers to help and do not give up.
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Your light shines so bright through your eyes. I'm so inspired to know that some day my light will go back to shining too when I'm free from my narc family
Seriously appreciate this information. It’s vital to understand to heal. ❤
Makes so much sense and reassured me I’m not losing my mind. Thank you Caroline 😊
WOW! that explains a lot! At the time I didn’t realize the abuse I was going through. But my health was declining so fast. There were those who accused me of being on drugs b/c of the dramatic weight loss. And my overall appearance. My Doctor explained to me I was experiencing adrenal fatigue. I am happy to say, I was able to remove myself from that living situation. It’s been about 7 months. But I still don’t feel 100% my whole self. I can only suppose 4 years living in a state of fight or flight will take a lot of self care, to get ME back on track. Thank you for your videos! 💜
Prayers to help and soul healing prayers have helped me.
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how did u heal your adrenal fatigue?
brain fog.. social anxiety.. never knowing what to say to people some times. lack of memory. definitely lack of focus.. i just want to heal.
I so relate to this. I lived in fight or flight for years. The pandemic resurrected this, and I wonder how many people have enlarged Amydalas because of this
I so wish this pain comes around to my abusers, I spent 8 months in the hospital, suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for decades, most of that is gone since being discarded.
The only thing that’s saved me and my sanity is Jesus Christ & wearing the armor of God Daily!!! I am recovering graciously & am protected in Jesus Name!!!
Me too amen!
Exactly...Amen!
I experience everything she said. I felt like I was walking on eggshells in my own home. I didn’t know if we would argue and fight or if things would be okay! Scary 😧 I just need to be freed from everything because now my thyroid has swollen and I know it’s from stress.. I need it to go back to its normal state. Prayers prayers! God please protect me from those who are against your prayers and who want Ill to happen to your children! Protect my mind, body and soul amen 🙏🏾
Praying for you!
Prayers to help and do not give up.
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AMEN!
sometimes when I drop off all 3 of my kids off at school and drop in daycare. I return home WANTING to be productive and catch up on chores only to sit down and just feel paralyzed till the last minute before the kids return... then it just adds onto your self hate, the narc WAS right, you can't even complete basic tasks, you can't just push through to meet the ordinary demands of life. I just sit, not wanting to move for as long as possible. it feels like being dead inside, anything that should motivate you to get up becomes a sense of rising dread. the world is slowly collapsing on you and you can't muster an ounce of will to do something "optional" (mild personal consequences).
My sister has been abusing me for years this way. Making me feel responsible for her. I developed Graves Disease 2 years ago. I recently went no contact when I figured out what she was doing to me. I was so angry. She always made me feel confused when we would get into conversation. I always left her not knowing exactly what just happened. I would always feel terrible but could never understand why. I'm so glad my eyes were opened. This was exhausting me for years. Now I'm just trying to recover. Of course I mourn the loss of her but I know it's best because she will never change. Thank you for explain the brain connection. It's scientifically happening. I hope I can heal my brain.
I'm #7 of 9 kids and the family scapegoat. They pushed me away years ago, when I finally realized what was happening I was able to let go of them instead of always longing for a relationship. They view me as a bad person, deserving of pain and rejection. I believe they will always have that mindset until they too can wake up and see the truth.
My point is...when I finally realized they would never be able to see me for who I really am I was able to release them knowing I'm better off without them. And I say that last part because it was ALWAYS such a struggle to be a part of them; boy have they made my life difficult to the point of miserable. Family dynamics suck!
I'm really sorry about your sister and I too hope you can heal...I hope your sister can heal too. I wish you all the best @Elizabeth