Brain fog and narcissistic relationships
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- Опубліковано 25 вер 2024
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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I feel like escaping a narcissistic family unit is like escaping a cult.
Yes. And divorcing a narcissist is leaving a one-person cult
Imagine the narcissitic parents also being in church and growin up with both cult like environments.... which is just double the fun
Absolutely!!!
@@annawaiq6360 that was me. So much catholic school saying obey your crazy parent, love them unconditionally, or it's a sin and your going to hell. No wonder I'm terrified of authority
Brainwashing, absolutely!
Your biochemistry gets messed up when dealing with the prolonged stress caused by toxic people.
Seems like we get a lot of autoimmune diseases from this
I had terrible migraines starting at 12 years old, and very bad eczema. It's a common thought that people 'outgrow' these things. No, you just get away from the cause.
Oly Guy, can it be fixed?😔
Sadly true
@@Untamed_Heart, self love! Let go of toxic people and toxic bad habits that are a result of dealing with them. Gut health can suffer from emotional toxicity so probiotics and good nutrition can go a long way.✌🏼
“Things you are learning at 40 that should have been shown to you when you were 5.” Thank you for that framing; it rang true in a new way.
I felt this one too when she said it. That's if your lucky enough to be somewhere safe at 40.
I find this disadvantage bites me in the butt in my 50's still.
Yes!! I am 40 and now my eyes are opened. 💯
Be kind to yourself. How could anyone possibly know this at 5? I thank God there is a resource like this community to help people. Years ago, 90% were on their own & blind in this swamp. My focus has changed to protecting myself & survival. The Narc is history. Wish I could attach a warning label for the next potential victim.
Learning at the age of 50!
I don't know how you do it but the topics you chose are those that a lot of us face but no one talks about. Thank you ❤️
She is always right on.
She does because she was studying the effects of the narcisistic personality disorders. Nobody Scape from that. If you lived with a narcissistic, it's impossible to scape away from this. Is not talking about you, is talking about effects that if you lived the experience of a narcisist abuse, you lived this also.
@@visas_y_viajes As far as I remember, Dr. Ramani mentioned experiencing narcissistic abusive relationship in her personal life. No matter how much you study, people don't really understand what happens to the victims, unless they went through that themselves. ... It's like doing a free fall jump - one can explain how it feels, but most will just ask you "Well, why did you jump out of the plane? Sounds crazy." (Equivalent of "Well, why did you stay in that relationship? It sounds crazy." 🤷)
@Maggie I had noticed. But then I see others are long.
Completely!!! I love how you give us understandings and solutions. So grateful ❤️
Fatigue is exacerbated by never having recovery moments, like genuinely laughing out loud, telling your stories in ways the way you want, and getting time to create things important to you.
Recovery & reflection time is VERY important.
Omg,yes!! Couldn't agree more!
Wow. I am silently crying in my bed next to
My baby. Just how TRUE this is.
Like literally the exact words I’ve been searching for and missing and Almost gave up on
Perfect comment, thank you 💐
Used to get sick all the time.
Left my house at 22 and didn’t get sick for 10 years
Leaving is the miracle cure! So glad you left and cured yourself 👍
Yes, I had all these chronic conditions untreatable by medication that just miraculously disappeared after leaving. While I was with them there was always a feeling, "maybe if I leave, this illness will go away" but then a I was like, "No, that doesn't scientifically make sense" but it was true!
I used to get depressed but it went away once I left my family.
@@tilinapple Glad i found this post. Been having chronic illness. Living under the same roof with narc mother and distant father since forever. Been thinking about moving out ,with this foggy brain and fatigue spirit. Feeling powerless to plan for my own life. I want to heal myself so bad. Want to have a better life. Now I believe that it's possible. Thanks!
@@postcard9889 Yes, at least that was the case with me. In terms of leaving, I think its the sooner the better because the thing with illness is that it may become chronic if you leave it for too long.
I recently had to move back in with my parents due to covid (was gone for over a year with no illness) and its only been 3 months with them and I got very sick again. I'm 22 right now and I hope this time I leave, I will get to be gone for 10 years like the commenter above haha
You're our lighthouse Dr. Ramani, thank you everyone! 💐
Yes!!!
t
Thank you, Josee! 🌹
She truly is. I actually consider her to be my own personal therapist lol. She is what gets me through my days and keeps me on track with dealing with my narc.🥰
Yesss ❤️
"Soul tired" yes! That description was very accurate and true to my own experience. Chronic grief, exhaustion and disappointment. I bet a lot of victims are diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety or depression etc., not knowing the true source of their symptoms stem from narcissistic abuse/experiencing trauma. This video in particular was very thought provoking and makes a lot of sense.
Yeah instead of mental health week, their should be narc week
Stress triggers bipolar disorder.
😫🙋♀️💔💛💛💛
funny thing, I always thought it was maybe food allergies, I went to the doctors kept telling them about my crushing fatigue.. but I realized the more I distanced my self from the Narc, the more alive and well I felt. My natural light and goodness came back, but around this person I felt myself change from all of the pain, I almost became a child of darkness myself and I am not particularly religious
Soul tired.... This is how I feel. Born into narcissistic family and working in family business with narcissistic father and brother... It hit me a few months ago as i came across your videos
It always amazed me how my narc ex could pic a giant argument right before bed then fall to sleep the instant his head hit the pillow!
Especially on holidays....
Omg yes!
Because they KNOW where it hurts, and they will never ASSume any emotional responsibility for it, EVER! No f***ing empathy whatsoever. Just like expecting a 3 y.o. to feel bad after having a meltdown. NOT. GONNA. HAPPEN.
Thats what mine did too! Plus he would sleep for 3 hours then wake up for 2 hrs then back to sleep and repeat.....no schedule!
I left my narcissist 4 months ago because my health started to deteriorate but still have a long way to go as this journey has been tremendously difficult!
Omg I know Exactly what you're talking about!! After a toxic argument..he would sleep like a baby and I would be in disbelief!
I experienced it for years!!! I thought it was my hormones and being over 50. My narc and family told me that my brain worked like the old internet that took a while to connect. I was laughed at. I was feeling so overwhelmed and anxious with all the tasks piled up. I felt stuck and paralyzed with no initiative or desire to move in any direction. Now the narc moved out and I am energetic, clear minded, motivated. The energy vampire is gone!!!!
Thats such a great story! I'm really happy for you! You go Girl🚀
Glad you're out, you suffered enough!
@@joseenoel8093 never going back to that. It is so liberating to be free from abuse. Married for almost 25 years
It took 8 months after leaving my husband, for the fog to clear up. I used to tell everyone that it appears I am in a dream always. Since last 6 days the fog got cleared. Now I can feel my other emotions..
This comment is so inspiring to me! I am 59, and that lightbulb just turned on!
I always did terrible at school. I was held back in third grade. Now I’m on the deans list in college. The brain fog is real.
I always struggled in school and flunked out of first year university. No matter how much I studied, all the information I studied never stuck in my brain. I have an undiagnosed learning disability, might be dysnomia, not sure, but I have a poor short term memory and I need more time to put things into long term memory. Now I just wonder if it is constant brain fog from all the bullying I experienced in elementary school.
Congrats so proud of you wow 🙏🏆💐💚✨✨✨💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫
The ruminations use up your mental energy.. HOW DID YOU STOP IT ?
Thank you 🙏🏼
@@JUSTPIMPIT Meditation, the self-completion workbook by Kristen Neff, patience with myself. I still ruminate. There is not a quick fix-just patience and self-love.
@@Amberk1985 Thank you so much! They are emotional vampires who can destroy your life .. I hope they suffer in hell.
Before I knew about narcissistic abuse, I was having so many physical symptoms from stress that I was convinced I was dying. I was (am) so tired. Soul tired is a perfect description. And my memory was so bad that I began to worry about early onset Alzheimer's at age 40! Now I understand why my brain doesn't work the way it should after a lifetime of this. I often wonder who I would be and what I would be capable of had the abuse never happened. Still, I try to be the best version of myself that I can be in spite of it. But it's hard.
That's crazy the gaslighting always making me confused if it really all happened that way even though I know I didn't feel that way on purpose...I too thought maybe I'm tripping and I thought I was losing my memory in my 30's thinking I'm a have Alzhheimer early...wow that's crazy so it's not just me that thought that...and I started saying I have a bad memory all the time smh 🤦🏽♀️
Same exact thing for me... Soul tired after a lifetime of this. No wonder who I knew I could always be has always been just out of reach... But now that I'm finally educating myself about all of this, at least I know why now, and hopefully that'll help me finally reach the best version of myself after some desperately needed healing ❤️
Same for me.
I just can’t believe that I finally found the answer to all the crazy things happening to me in this marriage of 49 years, yes 49 years!! What a waste of tine that is but now that I know why all of it was going on it sure helps! I thought he was just a nasty person and that I wasn’t handling this right, huh what a joke! Like you ladies, I too was wondering if I had early dementia and even mentioned it to my doctor. He told me that if it didn’t affect my daily living then not to worry about it. For some time now I find I can’t remember certain words when talking…it has actually stopped me from contributing in some discussions because of it. Sometimes I fear if I start talking and can’t find the word I’m looking for that I will be awfully embarrassed. I know I’m a good person and I mean well but narcissistic people can make you feel so bad about yourself. I just wish I had known all of this years ago…I am now planning my exit as soon as possible but I do have to get all my ducks in a row first.
A clever friend told me to be grateful to have survived and learnt from the experience. At least won’t make that mistake twice 😅🤞
"It's fatiguing to keep future-faking yourself...it's a grief that never fades...the never ending banging drum of loss and regret of life and of love feeling difficult...the grief and disappointment of having to learn things at 40 that should have easily been shown to you at 5." - Dr. Ramani nailing it
Always nailing it! Dr. Ramani, thank you! The keep waiting part.
*I sat with my Anger long enough, until she told me her real name was Grief.*
For me, I recognized my anger as my source of strength because when I was angry and raging I realized it was the only time I felt any strength or energy whatsoever. Then, of course, I realized that, though the anger’s energy felt good and powerful, it wasn’t a healthy solution. But the anger did get me to finally leave my narcissist, so that was good, and I was then able to let go of a lot of the anger, but it took me longer to get rid of the tiredness.
Spot on. Wow
Oh my God!! Never read more beautiful line ever.. Thanks.
@@cobraswell iî
Mine called herself "Demon Child" how could I have been so foolish? right from the beginning I was warned of the dangers of this person I thought maybe they were just being dramatic, but no this person is from the deepest pits of hell
Waiting in the rain for a bus that is never going to come.... I love this statement! So damn true
From being a sharp minded woman with an elephants memory, able to do several things effortlessly and roll with the punches of the day.....my mind became mush and my brain was in a deep fog and tired 😴
The mental and physical exhaustion was insane, from being able to go through an 18 plus HR day at extremes here I was can't cope with 8 hrs!!!!! Extreme tiredness, can't think, can't remember we're I left stuff, constantly checking and double checking do I have all my stuff in my bag? Did I lock my front door, double checking even can't remember, panicking and going back to the front door to check the handle.......and awhole lot of other things..... just doing mundane tasks were exhausting...... as I'm ruminating n thinking of the narc, what happened, wat did I contribute to this downfall ect..... losing track of what I'm doing in the house.... burnt the food, almost got knocked crossing the street as my mind wasn't with me, not counting enough change, forgetting easy things, getting hurt, cutting my finger whilst chopping veg, dropping stuff, silly mistakes.... can't sleep at all, constant tossing and turning, awake till all hours of the morning and going to bed for a few hrs then waking up tired. Became unemployed..... can't concentrate and apply for jobs, my mind wanders easily now, lost focus..... I feel like I'm going insane!
I found myself becoming an emotional and almost physical invalid, unable to cope..... they drive u to a point were suicide feels like mercy and kindness to your torn mind and shattered heart💔
I agree 100% walked away a year ago nearly burnt my house down leaving the cooker on took nearly half an hour to clear the smoke out all the time the alarm sounding a friend of mine said he thinks I have dementia because I could remember much a about a project we done a few months back.. I know I will find the real me again and so will you time heels
Suicide happens in these situations. It’s basically murder by proxy.
Or the narc pushes the victim to suicide, then “saves them” to keep abusing them. This also happens.
I went through this. And it took education and thinking about what i was experiencing just to wake up a little more from the brain fog. I am mentally exhausted!! These are all the symptoms i experienced too!!
I am a serious overthinker. It is mentally psychologically exhausting! NO WONDER I SUFFER FROM SLEEPLESSNESS AND INSOMNIA AND NIGHTMARES. I fucking hate my family!
Praying for you
Wow...”learning at 40 that could have been at 5.” So accurate!
Story of my life.
Me too Jewls. ❤️
That sentence jumped out at me too!
Same here
You really get me!! I believe I was misdiagnosed as having depression, low self esteem, etc. After 31 years the truth is finally dawning on me. I was the 1 trying to keep the house clean, the children quiet, the meals cooked like a Stepford wife! I was expected to be a robot with no feelings, no needs of my own, just existing to serve his lordship. I missed all those years, all that time with my kids, when Mommy was just too tired. Now, I laugh inwardly when he says, there you go, being combative again. I'm bitchy & irritable, because I'm not a robot anymore. Videos like these are so validating! Plus a fabulous therapist who really gets it has been life saving for me!
"his lordship" love that
Leave him
Omg thank you for your comment. I feel your pain and am so angry I was so not the mom I wanted to be because of it. I missed his childhood in a fog. 😢
Sounds like male narcissism from religious circles, lying to women saying only the man is head of the house
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Turns out my mood swings were more that I'm a happy person who livED with someone who shot me down. HE was the depressed one - and depressing
I feel like I'm living in a hazey dream. I'm so disassociated my life doesn't even feel like my own. I'm only 24 but I feel so far behind in life. Like I'm playing catch-up..
You feel numb and disassociated. I was until I was 30 and then came the worst decade of my life. I'm 42 now and just beginning to cut ties with the narc family
@@mariamalhotra8228 I'm in my first year, it's like one foot in/ gray rock/ no contact because of my nieces and nephews. I dont want them to think I abandoned them 😔
I’m nearly 47 and STILL feel that way
I feel you
I finally got my long awaited divorce yesterday from my covert narcissist husband. I am not happy about it (yet) but i know it was necessary. And I. Am. Exhausted.
Yay!!!!💙💙💙 Freedom
God bless you, you are now in recovery on your way to VICTORY!!!!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I wasn’t happy about my divorce from my narcissistic husband. I lived in fear he would retaliate. But it was like an abscesses tooth. It was painful to remove but awe... the pain got better with every passing day. We’re survivors!
I wish you the best in recovering. I split after 10 years with mine and I am still crawling out, its hard, but YOU CAN DO IT!
After a while you will be. But first recover recover recover
rumination as a way of constantly being in our heads, trying to fix things (2:50).. . pulls us out of our lives (3:15). . . "grief is an exhausting process" (4:10). . . "it is tiring to spend your entire life in a state of tension, and being wound up"(4:50). . . "it is fatiguing to keep future faking yourself" (7:00). . . and this can create a sort of "soul tired" (7:15). . . and lead you to miss out on your own life (8:20). . . "we can't get time back, but we can work more meaningfully with the time we have left" (11:25)
Thank you➖😊✨
I wanted to save all the quotes today! Dr. R really summed it up beautifully
Thank you for the list. Hope you are having a sunny day !
I have been following Dr Ramani and learning so much....unfortunately my sister is married to a narc. and all this information rings sooooo true. She never leaves...I suppose that’s what 30 years of mental abuse from a narcissist does to a person.
@@butcherwoman3753 so very sad! I believe though that energetically you can 'dedicate'/ 'offer' the knowledge that you are gaining to her, and invite the Universe to bring you a moment where you can share a little of it with her. Sometimes even a simple statement can make a huge difference in offering clarity and much-needed perspective from someone who has more vantage. Long before I could see any pathology, there was a pithy comment his ex had made about him, that had really shocked me. In time her words made so much sense, and were so validating for what I was now coming to see for myself!
I've lived in brain fog from ages 3 - 29(now). From family to boyfriends to family to boyfriends again. I have many memory gaps. I thought that was just how I exist as a human, but it's not! I'm grateful to you Dr Ramani and this channel for the validation. You're channel helped me when I couldn't afford therapy. I'm almost 30 and living for myself for the first time and it's hard but the difference is that it's rewarding and meaningful.
Omg I feel you so much! That's the story of my life too. Sending you virtual hugs and wishes to have a wonderful life now. You deserve one after all these years of pain
Just to let you know, memory gaps - I have them too. Kind of tricky and spooky - chunks of life just ....missing.
@anicyb thankyou, sending hugs back to you. We are getting there! Everyday we become more free.
@@EllenDScott yeah I was worried that there was something wrong with me. I'm currently at the point where I'm no longer seeking to find out what happened.
Good for you!! I'm 28 now and finally free of brain fog and constant anxiety in relationships. The relief is powerful. To think this was once our "normal" is horrifying.
I wish they taught this in school. It would have saved many lives.
Agreed💚💚 Let's make up a class & curriculum 🌵
I agree! This material needs to be taught in schools
My dad had full custody and when I did run away they would tell me they were going to put me in juvenile if I did it again the cop would tell me that instead of asking the child why they were running away in the first place instead of just criticizing them for running away ... I was planning my escape but then realized I don't know where to go or how I will eat since I was only 13 lol I did want to live with my mom up the street but i knew if I went there they would look for me there then accuse my mom for trying to kidnap me so I didn't want to get her involved...so I had no choice I'm kinda glad I didn't know because it would have made me more angry to know it's best just to learn later when you can move out and heal yourself
It needs to be taught to grade schoolers.
There needs to be a "red flags" class, as ubiquitous as home ec or shop class.
Yes I feel like I have dementia. I hope the fog lifts one day ❤️🙏🏻❤️
Same here. I have a hard time recalling all the hurtful things he said to me. I want to ( as a reminder) but I can’t. Although everything else I remember in great details. It’s almost like my brain doesn’t allow me to access it.
Go to inside timer(free), listen to meditations, trust me you will get your peace, might have to listen to a few if your in the brain chatter doesnt stop.
It does lift , but like I have , I have done so much and I am still working on myself daily xx
It will
Went NC with family over New Years and my mental clarity is already coming back.
I am almost twenty years from going NC... I promise you that you’re going to be living a much better life 🚴🏻♀️! Congratulations!
Yes!!! It was difficult to do, but the peace is beautiful. 💕
Jeff, I encourage you to stay away until you really feel detached and free. We are here for you, Dear One. 😊🙏🏼❤️
It really is thay quick! I havent talked to my mother since yesterday
Good for you! Keep going
Just went no contact with a narcissist "friend." My body is feeling the change! It's not in my mind! I stopped trying to reach out, then went no contact, then blocked. It took me some weeks, but I am sleeping better, I have my own fatigue stuff, but now it's not an all-day-everyday thing.
What Dr. Ramani is saying here is real.
I am at the no contact stage with a narcissist who always claimed to be my best friend. I accepted so much abuse that its sickening, but watching Dr. Ramani, I can now identify all of the abuse and its liberating. This grandiose narcissist put me through the ringer, the lovebombing ,the devaluation, the gaslighting, the ghosting, the narcissistic rage, the breadcrumbs, etc...It was all there like a textbook.
I lived in a constant state of this in the years with my ex. I was basically a zombie, going through the motions out of necessity without even really thinking about anything I was doing. Living on edge was so exhausting. It was like being constantly stuck in mud and trying to force myself out of it, but I just couldn't get enough energy into it to make any kind of movement. I just spun and spun. I finally wore down the tread on my energy, and barely even had enough to run on fumes.
I totally get this and understand the exhaustion and zombie state. I hope you have found peace and validation of your goodness and competence.
I can relate. I got divorced in 2016 and I literally just started feeling like myself again. I'm even considering dating now. It took me 5 years to fully recover mentally, emotionally, and physically.
LIFE GETS BETTER WHEN YOU LEAVE. MINE HAS IM HAPPY AGAIN
@@sibi938 Exactly ! How can I not even remember if I ate yet ? It's crazy.
This.
fatigue, brain fog, muscle pain, rumination, poor sleep, teeth grinding all from narc abuse
Yeah it's like flu symptoms that doesn't want to go away. Every time I have contact with the narcs I feel this way. With no contact I feel fine.
Yep I have bone growths in my mouth from grinding my teeth. Never did it before the narc
"It is fatiguing to keep future faking yourself"! -Dr Ramani (I felt that 💯!)
Living in a constant state of fight or flight since as long as one can remember plays havock on an INFJ-T empath for life. 52 yrs old and a recluse...... turns out , a dog really is man's best friend . Greetings from N..Ireland ..... David
I'm Infj too...lived with my narc mother and family most of my 42 years. I have just gone low contact 2 months ago. Is the prognosis really so bad? I hope to have energy and be off antidepressants within a year.
Me too! I'm an INFJ-A. Raised by a narcissistic mother and a lifetime of dating narcissists! Relearning everything at 40.
Yessss! I’m just happy that the SO’s family doesn’t know about personality testing. They have enough weapons in their arsenals.
I’m with you man, my bunny is my best friend. Couldn’t ask for a better friend than her, never received more love in my life than the love I’ve gotten from her and other pets I’ve had in the past. Life would be very sad for traumatized people if pets or animals didn’t exist.
The same here.
The dog part is the best thing that ever happend to my soul.
A dog also feels so safe to love and show it every day, without being scared to be used against you by treating you bad, because you showed caring true love.
A dog is pure love.
This beautifull souls are made for loving them and loving you back.
Stay safe lady, together!
I was going into depressive mood thinking about the things he manipulated me many times during the day.Although I was a positive thinker, the seeds he threw into my brain with small puns made me think negatively and write negative scenarios.And most nights I found myself sparring. Like If he does the same again next time, I have to answer like this etc. but it's mentally tiring I am much more relaxed and healthier since I removed that person from my life. My advice to those who are thinking of ending their relationship with such people is to directly remove this person from your life. They do not deserve even a minute of you.
Yes
Yes. 💯
Yes I've had the same thing.. I was a very positive person when I got together with my narc ex.. over time he put more and more negative (and even completely irrational) stuff in my head... what also didn't help was his mother (also a narc) that kept telling me I was way too naive and trustworthy.. they kept telling me over and over again; "you can't trust people, because they will always f with you in some way".. while I never thought of people that way..
Now that I'm away, I don't trust anyone anymore and it really messed up my way of thinking..
I'm trying to date again, but I keep thinking those people have ulterior motives, so I stop talking to them after a few conversations just in case (in a friendly way, don't worry :p)
It's crazy how they can change someone's view on the world; to something so disgusting and pessimistic..
I'm so glad I'm out and not around those people anymore.. they literally suck the life right out of you..
Good for you for removing that person out of your life too! And you're absolutely right about not even giving a minute of time to those people...
Mentally sparring. Yes, that's a great description. It is so exhausting
@@jennyl7422 Narcissists will do that: Re-write your narrative on your worldview of people in general. Specifically, obliterate any sense of trust you could have when first meeting someone. EVERYONE is guilty until proven innocent, in a matter of speaking. The question is, how long are you (in general) going to be willing to be brave enough to stick out your neck, and ultimately your heart, to find out if he/she is a safe person, not just as a friend, but a potential romantic partner? Not to sound pessimistic, and I’m sorry that I have to say this, but a narcissist can wear his/her mask for a LOOOONG time.
That’s why it’s good that s/he meets friends/family earlier in the relationship (not too early, though).
It’s intimidating and scary to meet new people when you don’t trust your own judgment. I think that’s one of the many ways narcissists f*** a person up.
6:30 “...the way they don’t listen and that results in numerous miscommunications...” 🎯 And... it’s never the narcissist’s fault. Always yours. Always!
Insanely sick bastards
Being alone use to be intentional but now it utterly so lonely. When your extended family is wrapped up in the narc culture and you’re their scapegoat, even a close friend will never understand the exhaustion of it all. Because this type of abuse is more common and hidden in subtle mental games, its a struggle to even try to explain yourself
I can confirm that I experienced this. i had such terrible nightmares throughout the "relationship" and they stopped the night that I walked out of that apartment.
I can totally confirm this. It happened to me too. The nightmares got worse as the relationship progressed. The day I made up my mind to finally leave (after months of back and forth), just like that. It stopped. Now I sleep better and I’m much happier. It’s not an easy journey getting back to whom you were, but taking a step at a time sure help. Always remember, time heals wounds ❤️
Oh, yes, the nightmares. What is it? Our subconscious trying to warn us?
I was overthinking and going crazy in my head once.. I forgot my phone pass code for an attire day, something I use 100 times a day could not remember got locked out.. It was a really bad time, fighting, no sleep. This is so true. 😔
I thought I was growing old, I started forgetting things like passwords too. Thanks God I didn’t stay longer.
Same here i forgot my password once
I forgot my own own number . Brain fog is real
I felt like my traits was getting worst. Cleaning cooking forgetting stuff i thought it was just me. I would get clumsier.
4 weeks without brain fog has doubled my bank account and made me feel like Superman lol
Same here. I spent the money she wanted me to spend on her vacation to fix up my own house..
Same here. I spent the money he wanted to get his hands on.... on some really nice clothes an expensive haircut and some beauty treatments. YAY 😙
Much love to you ❤.
Oh wow hello everyone! I love you all and hope you're healing well and enjoying life!
Saving all kinds of funds and credit score in the 800s. Peace and God bless narcissist
Once the fog finally lifts after leaving the relationship, and you look back on everything that happened, it is shocking to realize the kind of things you put up with or thought were "not that bad".
I started to think how did I get here and put up with so much but you don’t realize
Right. , I’m like I allowed this person to tell me it was not that big - he go handle it or not do it again but kept on doing it
@@cynthiakila1161 I don’t know about you .. but I’ve been no contact for 4 months ..we were living together she went home for the holidays left her pets with me and all her belongings .. her car broke down.. of course she never has money .. that’s where I finally that’s enough .. she’s with her family I was just her option and supply … life is getting so much better now .. 7 years of this cycle after cycle …I don’t know about you but I felt if my marriage was over I was a failure .. I look back now I just loved some one that couldn’t love me back …I didn’t want to be a failure ..I look now it’s about saving myself ..and I am ..loving myself which I have never done for me
My narcissist parent did apologize to me as an adult for the way they knew they went wrong in many ways etc. but it wasn’t enough for me. It just wasn’t enough to wipe everything away.
My mom apologized too. For SOME of the ways she was back then. And I’ve tried to accept that apology and move on which is entirely my responsibility. But, the thing is, her narcissistic stuff continues. Not like it was back in my childhood thank God! But still, putdowns and “I’m know more than you because I’m older than you”
My father did apologize, but it was in a way that made me feel bad for letting him apologize. “I was a bad father” and heavy statements that made me feel badly for him.. WHEN HE WAS THE ONE HURTING US. Of course, that resulted in me saying things like you did your best. I basically ended up helping him justify the behavior. Of course, within weeks he was back to being mean and saying damaging things. I have a disease and haven’t worked in years. He would tell my husband that I needed to earn my keep and do chores if I wasn’t going to work. When I was around he would say the same things to me. Just constantly trying to get me to find a way to contribute to the home because I needed to have some value in my relationship. It was tremendously damaging and dehumanizing. He acted as if I wasn’t that sick. There was a lot.
My point is they don’t change. Even if they have a momentary clarity and guilt.. it is not who they are. That is the most heartbreaking part. Dr. Ramani is right. We ARE always waiting for the moment of change and it never comes. Furthermore, our narcissist knows that we are waiting for that moment. Those interactions could be more manipulation. We almost just don’t get to trust them even when it sounds like they are listening or changing.
@@kelly-bo-belly I totally agree! My father apologized too. And I was ready to forgive him. But when I met him I realized that he was only talking about himself and his really horrible childhood. And I felt bad for him. But now I just feel angry. I told him that I know why he is like this. But it doesn't justify it. Not to mention that I did not contact him for 6 months before his apology. Normally I would see him every week. He only reached out to me after my mother finally broke up with him. Only when he was all alone he realized he had a daughter. And that makes me so sad. I am so happy my mother finally did this step after 30 years of marriage. She finally laughs again makes jokes and looks so happy and exited for the future. I feel like I finally got my mother back. I do not hate my father. In some way I feel sorry for him. But he will never change and I am afraid of being manipulated again :/ Incredible how much my life has changed for the better after breaking the contact (and also therapy). Just one year later I feel so happy and relieved I never thought I would ever be :)
Same. My narcissistic mom apologized to me while I was in the process of moving out, but she kept excusing her behaviour with statements like "how did you expect me to act when all these negative things were happening to me?" And "no one in my shoes would have handled it better." Then she finished her dramatic apology by asking what I wanted to apologize for! 😂 I said "nothing" which apparently was the wrong answer.
@@anniek7574 I'm confused by what you mean. Maybe autocorrect scrambled your reply?
From childhood, through adulthood ... ending in a divorce after 23 years, then a 2 year relationship with an alcoholic narcissist ... NOW, at 52 years old, I have zero tolerance for stress and suffer from ocular migraines, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, and unexplained exhaustion.
Four months ago I was a very unhappy, unproductive, trapped person. You’ve helped change my life. Thank you always 🧡
These videos are truly helpful. I'm working my way back to productivity as well.
So true, being exhausted all the time became my normal when I was with my ex narcissist. He even decided in the end how many hours am I allowed to sleep (the problem was I was up all night having trouble sleeping as well). It got to the point where I was like a walking zombie and as you said life was passing me by.
OMG, this was me - totally. I was so ashamed of myself. Four years of happiness, followed by two years of him withholding mental and physical intimacy. It was like trying to live a normal life with an air raid siren going off in my ear the whole time: FIX THIS!! But there was no way to fix it because he didn't want to fix it. He was fine with sleeping alone, only being nice when we were out in public, etc.
You've got it exactly, it was like waiting in the rain for a bus that never came. Thank you for all your videos, but this one especially just hit me hard.
I’m in the same situation. What did you do? Did you separate?
And the narcissist will be very quick to ask, sarcastically, "What could YOU be so tired for?", as they accuse you of being lazy, not doing enough, not doing anything, etc...they pretend to not understand that mental & emotional exhaustion does lead to physical exhaustion.
“Soul tired” describes what I feel so accurately. Worry about how I’m going to defend myself against and cope with my moms actions leaves me feeling so tired
I have gotten to the point where I’m really concerned that I am mentally exhausted to the point that I often think that I have Alzheimer’s disease. Even things like spelling which I was excellent at I now regularly don’t know how to spell words. This is excellent. It’s me to a tee and my life to a tee. Thankyou. I have no strength to do what is required to change my situation. Just staying alive is almost too hard.
Omg thank you for saying that. Ive also been starting to worry about my typing, spelling and talking. I thought i was developing dyskexia
I feel exactly the same
The exhaustion, fatigue and brain fog are so real. I thought I was going crazy, but all the time and energy spent walking on eggshells, ruminating and appeasing the narcissist to avoid a scary rage tantrum is so extremely exhausting. All the anxiety makes it difficult to fall and stay asleep, and when you do sleep you feel even more fatigued. The only way to end the fatigue and brain fog is to remove these toxic people from your life for good
Oh my goodness, it was like my husband was trying to disturb my sleep. He would lay in bed next to me watching stuff on his phone, constantly moving around through the night, staying up late and waking me when he’d come to bed at 2 and 3am. It was awful, I was constantly exhausted.
I remember this
That's very true my x narc done the same it's all designed to keep you unhinged to ware you down that's something they do to prisoners of war,, I had more arguments over being woke up at all times at night and early morning like Saturday and Sundays washing machine, close dryer running 6am 7am total torture,, I walked away have my on place my own bed if I want to wake up ile set my alarm
They never let you go to sleep before they do
I had the worst fatigue and memory loss after separation. I was really lucky to have bosses and colleagues who understood this way before I did! I owe them (and my job) everything I have. The exhaustion and fog hit me again if I have an unavoidable confrontation with my ex (we have kids) but now I know to give myself a good rest and I recover quickly.
Out of all the videos you’ve done this is the one that absolutely clicks for me, thank you
I realize that I am constantly stopping myself from getting things done, and I recently realized that what I was doing was actually waiting to make sure that what I am doing is ok, is approved, and that the next thing is what I should be doing. I don't trust myself, and this is while I am as far from those wrong relationships that I can go. I don't trust myself to make decisions. I feel like I don't know where to start, and there is SO much to do 25 hours a day, 8 days a week, 366 days a year, decades, and a life time and forever. I don't even know what it is that I really like to do when I get done with all of the things that I am supposed to be doing. I can't even begin to think how nice it would be to be able to relax, knowing everything is taken care of and everything will be alright, and that my relationships would be good for me.
Yes, I'm soul exhausted.
Thanks for your work, I enjoy listening to you.
Rin
May the universe bless you and sustain you with support from all of us.
Respite care if you can't escape right now?
As a child of a narcissistic mother, I always felt old, it was so hard to look perfect for others which I did. Looking back, I never fidgeted, I was always watching myself like a hawk in public, even when she wasn't there: don't chew too loudly, don't blink too hard, don't look like you're crazy, look calm and collected, be overly nice, don't stare, I constantly felt like I was doing something bad, or wrong and I am bothering people with my presence. I still have some of these traits even now, I still feel like I'm bothering people. Probably this is why I always felt like an old soul.
i always felt sick didnt know why, brain fog, tiredness, i thought itwas age, no im back to being sharp again less pain, he was sucking the life out of me
Sucking the life out of me. the words don't come close to describing the sensation.
thank you Doctour Ramani i feel you have taught me a lot. i will defenetly stay out of these persons path
Wow I’ve spent years around narcissists and I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome and I often have brain fog. I had no idea trauma could cause this. Thank you for making this video, it’s helping me think of new ways to help heal myself.
What a terrible terrible terrible experience. Thank you for clearing up this completely for me. This is no joke.😭I wasn't married or with kids with him but God got me out of this battle. I had the chronic fatigue and other health matters including PCOS . I am way better now without him.
He still thinks marriage is on the cards.
When you said "soul tired" I felt it. No wonder I was so depressed and suicidal for decades.
I’ve learned the only one I need to be pleasing to you is my Heavenly Father and he loves me unconditionally and calls me his beloved child. When I realized just how demonically driven these people are they are so full of evil and recognizing the ongoing pattern that repeats itself over and over again and understanding that things were never going to change that’s like asking the devil would you please change for me it’s just not going to happen so you detach you go no contact and you move forward with your precious life in your path of truth and righteousness and onto your tremendous destiny!!
@@dylannicks1146 Nothing to do with religion ....it has everything to do with my own personal relationship with God Almighty.
@@dylannicks1146 God's Word gives us the wisdom to discern the wolves in sheeps skin.....even satan masquerades as an angel of light, however, greater is the holy spirit in us, God's children, than the devil spirits (and devil spirit puppets) that are in the world. Love and prayers brother!
@@NarcissismExposed my abusers regularly used their personal relationship with J. C. as a method to berate, belittle, gaslight, and “keep me in my place”. And due to the patriarchal nature of the Christian religion, the men in my family had a different set of rules than the women exactly because of this, which only fostered and enabled the narcissistic abuse to run rampant in my family of origin. While I have a deep personal faith life and know of what you speak of in the personal relationship aspect of the “born again” Christian faith, my maker however has no sex attached to them. And while I also realize that the Christian faith Biblically requires us to “evangelize” in order to “bring those to Christ” (I was also once a missionary) please know there are those of us who aren’t as convinced anymore. I am glad that you have found your source for helping you, however, my healing is coming from those outside of any organized religion.
@@lucindaburke6987 I'm so sorry to hear that Lucinda and that type of religiiousity has been going on for a very, very long time.....eg. the Pharisees and Saducees for instance....attacking Jesus Christ daily in an attempt to belittle, berate, undermine his ministry, deny his true identity, and yet.....through all of this, Jesus Christ was undaunted.....why?.....because he trusted in his Heavenly Father and listened to Him only. That is my encouragement to those being attacked by the enemy....whether narc, murderer, etc....is to go to God's Holy Word and trust ONLY in the living God whose love abounds and knows no end. God bless you my sister.
@@dylannicks1146 yes, religion is. Faith in Jesus Christ is not.
Could you talk about “gatekeeping”? My narc would act like the keeper of knowledge and information. They were educated and intelligent, I was learning to code and they were “helping” me, but would often leave out things or do it in a way that it was difficult to understand. They also would get super mad if I didn’t get it or needed more explanation.
Hi Michelle, my Covert/Malignant narc G.M. would intentionally hoard information on the regular. In my particular case, my narc G.M. was not very smart outside of all the narc tactics he uses within his narc bubble. Information hoarding gives them multiple weapons...1) it creates the illusion that they appear smarter than everyone else 2) they can use it to punish/shame you for not knowing about it & then gaslight you when you defend yourself. 3) They can triangulate others w/ it...believing the narc. For example, whenever we'd get new software updates or operating system for our handheld computers in the field...a trainer would jet it & train our G.M. on how to navigate through it w/ the obvious intent that our G.M.would then train the employees. He would only show us a snip-its worth knowing that we would struggle in front of our customers. Then, at our next mtg., we'd ask all the "how do you do this & that.." questions & if his bosses were sitting in on the mtg., he'll say " now I spent a lot of my valuable time training you & you just never listen." Then, he'll look at his bosses, lift his arms up & say "I'm at my wits end..you see what I mean...I don't know what to do w/ these kids." Of course, many of us are older then him.
@@t.l.7733 Brutal! I was married to this person, but I have also experienced it at school and at work. It is so frustrating to try and learn in that environment.
Hi...
Isn't gatekeeping the act of not letting old or new narcissists into your life?
And I think the narcissist type you described is communal?...
Edit: cerebral narcissist not communal (my bad, sorry)
Edit2: gatekeeping was also mentioned in a previous video titled 11 tactics for not letting narcissists into your life...
And I'm sorry for the cheekiness - I hope it didn't trigger, it really was meant as helpful hint
Best regards...
@@anna2belle783 You're right she did talk about that, but what I'm talking about is gate-keeping information as a form of control. In my case, I believe the individual was a covert, self-righteous narcissist because they're not actually that smart (as I discovered later), but they consider themselves to be superior. This individual isn't that driven (has engineering degree but never attained P.Eng 10 years after graduating) or interested in learning new information.
This is so familiar. All the narcs I know do this.
Thank you. I honestly didn’t realize I was in a narcissistic relationship until recently. I am glad I noticed this relatively early (2 years in) and can start adjusting my expectations and not letting it crush me by believing it will ever be better
Chronic cognitive dissonance and hypervigilance will do a number on one's brain and can take years to recover from. A psychiatrist told me that that it physically alters the brain because I think it was the amygdala shrinks. Dr. Ramani, it would be interesting to take a deeper dive on this.
Thank you for being a solid voice of reality when it comes to NPD abuse. It’s “trendy”, i have been told. Everyone is a narcissist. It’s so invalidating for those who have been or are abused. Thank you for helping us feel your reaching hand through the gaslighting
A friend of mine invested all he had in a narcissist, trying for years to elevate her, make her dreams come true.
After years of disasters and conflicts, he said: "I always thought that we would be fine within two weeks"
It was so sad to hear. Heartbreaking. If you gave this woman a planet, it would still be the wrong colour.
No TV in bedroom. Don't read in bed. Going to bed at the same time every night. I learn this in therapy
I have been separated from my ex Narc husband for almost 2 years but I still cannot sleep well. He stole my peace, my self confidence and my sleep. I pray everyday to my God to give me my life back.
Pamela, I separated with my ex 10 months ago. You may find the books Inner Bonding and No Self No problem helpful in finding peace again. I dont experience peace every day but i do every few days. Prior to the books it was a huge struggle for me.
@@Blessed1283 I am doing great now , thanks.
even a mild narc can fog my brain... one just moved out and i feel a rush o f energy and optimism...i feel like cooking again...and playing music...two things that atrophied while they were around... at peace again...
Boundaries.
So fatigued that basic daily hygiene/organization and upkeep with daily tasks feels impossible. Bedroom is a mess, purse is a mess, car is a mess…desperately trying to find my power again. Thank you Dr. Ramani🙏❤️
I suffer from CSS. Brain fog is a big part of this. My folks were both narcissistic. My sister was the golden child. I was scapegoated by all three. My sister was lazy, disrespectful, and obnoxious, yet had privileges, and could do no wrong. I did both our chores, finished college, had their only grandchild, paid my debts, yet I was accused of being a burden. I have suffered this all my life. I am weary of it. I can’t find a grief counselor. This is my life.
This pulls at my heart. it sounds profoundly difficult. Hug
I'm so sorry. I hope you have gone no contact or minimal contact for your own sake and for your child.
Same story except I didn't marry or have children
what is CSS? your story sounds a lot like mine....😥
@@EllenDScott Thank you.
Words cannot tell enough how much I appreciate your existence and your wisdom doctor!
@@lioydwilliams1850 please stop harassing the women out here.. it's getting annoying!
I wasn’t allowed to be fatigued. He checked on me several times a day to be sure I was working hard
Jeezus.
I’ve been dealing with my narc and all of his needs with a full time job plus side jobs and a commute. He worked part time, for himself, close by. He refused to move closer to my work and when I’d be exhausted at weekends he’d complain I’m boring lazy etc or would say let’s go do something it’s not good for your mental health. Weaponize my diagnoses against me. How trapped I felt. Would literally have to beg for rest. Left yesterday
@@LS-fe4ob good for you! It’s hard because you have their opinions running through your head, but if you can go no contact, or only communicate through email, it is so beneficial!!! The less contact you have with them, the more you can detox from them and have your own CORRECT thoughts!!! I wish you the best!!
As I was leaving my family home at the age of 20, I had 3 diares filled with "I don't know which way to go. I do not know which decision to take. Anxiety. Anxiety. Depression. Anxiety. Sleeping all the time." I was literally incapable of trusting my own judgement one bit. I am glad those days are over.
How did u manage to change that?
Dr. Ramani you are my life-saver! After watching your videos I learnt that narc will never change and I finally have courage to leave my Nex! Even though I just started No contact but I’m already feeling my life is better and happier! ❤️
Exactly
“Nex”, I like that.
I had horrible anxiety and crippling depression throughout the whole relationship. I was lethargic each day and I could not function. I was hopeless. Stuck. Constantly at the end of my rope.
2 months after I walked away from the abuse -I am joyful, energetic, hopeful, stable, ambitious, refreshed, strong, and confident that I made the right choice to leave.
Thank you so much Dr. Ramani. Your videos have been a life line for me!
So true. One thing that got me thru that moment: "Tired" is physical, "weary" is of the soul. I realized it was a soul journey. But I still had to get through it
Been using Sandra Rolus meditations on YT.
So fatigued...62 and just learning / understanding my 94 yr old narcissist mother now with Dementia...now it’s me taking care of her so she can live at home!! I really struggle sleeping because my mind goes over and over the abuse and lies everyday! Thanks to your videos Dr. Ramani, I actually can feel less reactive to her abusive talk/lies.
Yea it’s time for me to release and let go of what was done to me. I won’t allow that to happen again. It’s as simple as that. I used to wonder why people keep to themselves and aren’t so friendly. I finally got my answer.
I was completely in a fog for the 4 years I endured my horrible relationship. Now I understand why I didn't leave. I was gas lighted into subservience and all those years were a blur, like I wasn't myself. I was so embarrassed and ashamed when people found out what I had gone through. I was a zombie who just put up with his crap and abuse. But when I was DONE. . .He tried his discarding routine again, but instead of me crying and feeling abandoned, I helped him pack his sh*t!
The interaction with My sweet,lovely cat’s is helping me to feel “here and now”, helping me get some emotional energy and clearer mind, as having chronic fatigue from 56 years of narcissistic abuse.
Relationships with narcisistic people are absolutely draining and debilitating, you feel drained and grieving the incapability of the human connection. You are never enough, always criticised and invalidated. It feels terrible and gives such great amounts of fatigue. Thank you.
So true! Thank you for posting this video. Narcissistic parents, then narcissistic ex husband! Major fatigue but free now!
Thank you for this. I've spend most of my life having brain fog and debilitating fatigue. I got diagnosed with fibromyalga because I was also in chronic pain. I never considered how the narcissistic abuse could have caused or contributed to that.
"Soul tired" - yes, I know exactly that feeling. I think that term describes it clearly.
I am a super empath I'm so done with all of these people. I'm ready to have a healthy relationship. My body can not take anymore. I pray that we all find what we deserve. My heart goes out to us all ! We got this ❣️🦁☀️
In psychic practices, the programs running that you described can be seen as “people in your space.” Obviously, narcissists couldn’t give a shit how close they are in your personal sphere, and as an already sensitive child, I’ve had it said that it was “a wonder I could move around at all.” Dad, mom, and grandmother, textbook narcissists. I’m so gratified that you understand that half panic, half blankness- and the lifelong attraction of similar energies. You’re honestly mislabeled as “not all there” or “just a little special” and worse, usually believe it. The isolation is downright heartbreaking. If not for meeting one of many mentors, I was able to learn the meditation techniques needed to remove these people. It takes consistency. The fog still happens at inconvenient times. But I got help. Thank you, for the hundredth time, for understanding.
Could u help me?
You are literally a life saver. I needed to hear this at this moment as I am doing "the grief work" after recognizing what I have lost. The hardest part is trying to figure who i really am and what I really want.
Always hustling to be more than enough...that’s just how it feels to try pleasing those who can’t be pleased. Thank you!
Dr. Ramani, I’m in grief counseling after losing my partner of 31 years in June. 20 days after her death, her mother, our landlord, gave me a sixty day notice to vacate our home. I had to pack our life into boxes. There was no negotiating with her. I came to fully understand, the effects of how having such a woman as a mother led to a lifetime of self-doubt, depression, and anxiety. Her mother put me directly in the same powerless position, as she had done to my partner for a lifetime. I struggle with the dysfunctionality that perverted the course of being able to peacefully grieve.
I referenced you to my grief counselor, a Cal State LA graduate, and she smiled. Much of your work has played a huge part in learning to cope, as I try to accommodate the loss of my partner, and being expelled from my home and my partner’s family, none of whom I had ever wronged.
Thank you, for illuminating the darkness of difficult personalities; you’ve helped me to stay alive. Thank you, for your authenticity, which has served to reinforce my own.
You are a bright light in this world, Dr. Ramani.
Right on time. I've always was called slow for this.
@Veegee333 thank you 😊
I’m so glad to see this. I thought I was the only one. I could hardly get through some work days, presenting sucked because I would forget my speaking points. I would get home and couldn’t spend the time I wanted with my kid because I was always tired. I hardly slept, and when I did I’d wake up at the sound of a pin drop. I could not conduct my life. I was just always exhausted. I spent 7 years in that relationship, slowly deteriorating. It was hard to leave because I was afraid of what he was capable of. Now with no contact, I feel like a different person. I want to do things. I want to hang out. My son and I talk for hours and spend lots of time. I’m still struggling with my memory sometimes, but things are so much better. Meditation has helped a lot.
Thank you!!! It is so comforting to have someone who understands.
You are incredible! Thank you, thank you! I was married to a narcissist and divorced. Then my daughter whom I loved dearly, had narcissistic behavior like her father and our relationship is fractured. It has been most painful but I’m finally at peace. I have very little to do with her. You have validated my feelings and emotions. Moving forward and staying in the moment is challenging. Thank you for your counsel.
I wake up already thinking in the middle of the night. It's crazy...
My brain effectively didn't work when it came to understanding myself with her. I'd talk slowly, miss whole chunks of conversation, stare at nothing.
Because in order to accept my painful reality without leaving, I had to force myself to accept explanations that didn't make sense, which meant forcing myself to not think about it or react to it, and rearranging the rest of my reality to somehow fit. Gaslighting yourself is exhausting.
She constantly pointed out my blank stare, my inability to "be present" and "engage" as she tore me down, told me how my inattentiveness was a sign of my selfishness and lack of empathy, she didn't feel "seen" by me, that I was gaslighting her by looking exhausted.
This was my life. I work in healthcare and have dedicated my life to everyone else but myself because I believe I always had to be the forgiving person...till I couldn't function because of brain fog. I use this experience to help others by being a peer counselor. Your site has been tremendously affirming
That wasn't always an interesting thing she pick a fight before bedtime I'd have trouble going to sleep and I look over there and she be sound asleep how do they do that
Wow this is profound for me. I had two VERY narc parents and I struggled terribly in school. I went to multiple doctors as a child but they could not find any issue with my IQ. I struggled to pay attention 24/7 and my grades were horrid. As I’ve gotten older I now know it was probably my environment. I was on the deans list in college several times…what hurts is growing up thinking I was dumb.
I was always amazed how my brain just froze when she started her tirade and I went almost numb and speechless. And coming across as dumb made me even a bigger target. I would rethink the whole thing I would have so many responses that would have shut her down but I always just took the abuse for peace. It was very exhausting.
This is all so very true. Waking up constantly during the night then unable to get back to sleep, the exhaustion of trying to work out what was going on to understand and the hope that I could make things better. All that happened was they got worse. So glad for this channel as now it make perfect sense. Thank you Dr Ramini. X
I’m still waiting for him to care and now almost two years later, I feel not only exhausted, but also very foolish. “Is this really as good as it gets? Is this really what marriage is?” Those are the words running through my head on a regular basis. “The grief of having to learn these things now that you are 40 that should have easily been shown to you at the age of 5.” It’s the.. “I can’t believe that happened AGAIN” thoughts that keep going through your head that keep you awake at night.” Oh gees… THAT.
I was diagnosed as having ADHD (inattentive type) and put on medication when I was 11. I'm starting to realise, my constant verbal abuse from my mother and sister may have contributed to it. I was belittled, made fun of and constantly told I was a bad kid even though I tried really hard to be good and please my mother. My perfect older sister excelled at school and was always praised but I was always the joke. I was labeled as 'the bad one' and my sister 'the good one' . I've had the golden child and scapegoat thing. Its exhausting being the scapegoat.
Omg brain fog I had a lot of that from all the stress I went through it was bad
i feel you
Sandra Bounds, you don't deserve to be with a narcissist!
This is sooo on point for me!! It messes with me EVERYDAY that I could be soo STUCK at such an older age... It's embarrassing, shameful, and I cannot seem to get back to a place of functioning as a normal person again. I have never been so INTENTIONALLY traumatized, pained, and devastated, as I have been in my "now" husband. It tears me to pieces that I cannot get past this, and get to even the smallest level of normalcy.
Yep, I experienced that for years- I think I had renal fatigue. Now that I’ve been NC from my narcissistic family for over 7 years, my body’s back to normal again.
You mean adrenal fatigue.
@@raccuia1 Yes, you’re right. I wrote renal fatigue thinking I had written adrenal fatigue. Thanks for pointing that out.