Five Love Languages Test Results
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- Опубліковано 6 вер 2018
- Take the test for the Five Love Languages and let me know your results: goo.gl/zXNtzh
#FiveLoveLanguages #5LoveLanguages #LoveLanguages
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I feel awful when someone gives me a gift. I always feel like I owe them something back and feel guilty about the fact that they spent money on me.
Steph Plank I also dislike receiving gifts, even from loved ones, material things just don’t have the same value and are more utilitarian to me. Also hate when people gift random stuff just because they have to gift something and I have to find a place for storing it, idk stuff just overwhelms me.
@@rhaena8259 Couldn't agree more.
My friend has the same issue with receiving gifts. I had to try to put a stop to it, lol. I asked her how it feels when she gives someone a gift that they are happy about. She responded saying that it makes her feel really good. Then I asked her how she feels when someone doesnt wanna accept it or feels uncomfortable receiving it, and she said it actually makes her feel pretty bad--like she is not appreciated or that she messed up somehow. I told her if she put herself in the other person's shoes more often, she would see that she should just accept gifts gracefully. It would be a win win! Try it :) You'll make yourself and the other party happy.
@@StephSA08 You're welcome! :)
Yaaaaaaa exactly
“I guess I just don’t like fun.”
it's interesting to hear you say you don't like people doing 'acts of service' for you because it feels like a transaction, but receiving gifts was second on your list - and that it feels meaningful when someone spends their time with you, but not if it's to help you out haha
lol i did not think of it in those terms xD
We are walking contradictions... 😎
Gifts seem even more transactional to me tbh, but when you think about it, anything can be a transaction, really. I’m an INFJ too and my first love language is of course quality time, but everything else was completely different from Frank, gifts being the last and acts of service second to last :D But I agree that the test is a bit weird since you always only choose between only two languages and sometimes none of the answers appealed to me.
I think maybe, of course total speculation on my part, but "maybe" HUGE DISCLAIMER... maybe Frank was thinking that the "acts of service" was requested. Acts of service is high on my list.. maybe first IDK I pesonally hate this five love languages ranking BLEEP because how can you rank love? But "acts of service" is high but I am the last to request it.
I'm an INFJ and my no. 1 is physical touch. Go figure...
Mine too. It gives many difficulties.
Haha mine was = 0 ...😬😅
me too.
Me too!
Same, this really makes things difficult if other person do not initiate touch
Another INFJ here 🙂
Here are mine:
1. Physical Touch (it's how I both demonstrate and receive love)
2. Quality Time
3. Acts of Servive (more on the receiving end, but I enjoy doing nice things for others when I feel like it)
4. Words of Affirmation (I'm quick to give them, but struggle to receive them)
5. Gifts
Quality time every time!👍
Colin Burmingham me too. That’s how I figured it out because I get grumpy when I feel ignored by people in my small circle (husband and kid). I said it was small 🤣
@@wendyraye I'm always grumpy. Maybe I expect too much.😊
Colin Burmingham one of the quickest ways I get bent is if I walk in the door (from work especially) and I’m not acknowledged - since I’m not a words of affirmation, it must be that I feel I’m not worth the “time” it takes to mute the tv and say hi. What I’ve discovered from my daughter (also quality time) is that the biggest source of friction is usually when expectations (realistic or unrealistic) are not met. If someone in the house is in a huff it’s most likely because they expected XYX to happen, but busy schedules and brain fog resulted in SHT happening instead.
This is so true Wendy. Not being acknowledged when I come home can really get to me. Makes me think of Otis and Aretha and R E S P E C T.
As for expectations that's a biggie. I find the more I find out about what I like/dislike, call it self actualisation, the more I sometimes desire and expect from others. A discontent from not having this ideal. Then I have to let go and try to love others and not strive to attain love. To be content with what I have. My faith in the God of love helps me through those hard times. Peace to you and your family.
@@wendyraye To be an advocate for one who shall not be named, When you walk into the door and are not acknowledged AND you get upset about it... How are you showing the other person that you love them?
True Love is self-less.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
J M This ❤️
This type of love is also referred to as agape love. There are many different versions of what can be categorized as love (eros, mania, philia, ect). However, Chapman's ideas are purely about how love is being communicated/expressed. Understanding how your loved ones communicate their love is very beneficial, especially if it's strikingly different from your own.
I still have this memorized bc it's on my bathroom wall and I always used to read it when I was little
Love is a word.
Gosh you are that one person who whatever the topic is will find a way to make it an opportunity to show off and say some shit thinking that everybody will be like "oh he is so smart and deep"...
As an INFP I got:
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Acts of service
4. Receiving gifts
5. Physical Touch
Anybody else feels like a puppy when u know that "words of affirmation" is the 1st one? xdd
Same and im infj
I'm a bit different (INFP)
1. Quality time
2. Words of affirmation
3. Acts of service
4. Receiving gifts
5. Physical touch
I actually really like receiving gesture gifts, like Frank says. It's a physical reminder that someone knows you well. I don't care for expensive things but really like personal gifts.
I think Physical Touch would be high on the list for an INFPuppy... For me, Acts Of Service was number one.
I'm an INFJ, and here's my result...
9 Quality Time
7 Acts of Service
7 Words of Affirmation
5 Receiving Gifts
2 Physical Touch
Mine was about the same as yours. Go us! lol
lol im exactly the same even my "acts of service" and "words of affirmation" are equally scored lol
Same for me, but Quality Time, (as an INFJ), is so very rare. Guess that's why it's at the top of my list.
I got depressed the moment they asked if I was single or in a relationship...
11 Touch
7 Service
6 Time
4 Words
2 Gifts
This makes sense to me because actions speak louder than words. And to clarify, I like touch from my loved ones only, I hate strangers invading my space. I couldn't care less about words (technically I could because gifts scored lower), because they're just empty air. Give me a person's presence, helping each other and exhanging hugs or whatever, that's quality time. And keep up that INTENSITY, Frank, you cracked me up with that!
I heard two type Timmy's love languages are quality time and acts of service.
oh jeez that guy had to have two didn't he
Colin - LOL.
That's nothing, do you remember Bob from accounts? He says he likes quality time but he actually prefers gifts! Some people.
😂
I'm on a roll here, some suggestions... Type celebrity love languages. Or The Beatles love languages based on song lyrics?
I’m a year or so late to the party on this one but here you go:
#1 quality time
#2 words of affirmation
#3 gifts
#4 acts of service
#5 touch
I’m an INFJ. Can I just say how the INFJs are so lucky that you are an INFJ and you’ve decided to make such an awesome channel. I enjoy your videos so much, thank you.
12 Acts of Service
9 Quality Time
5 Words of Affirmation
3 Physical Touch
1 Receiving Gifts
I never ask for help so when someone just helps...not OFFERS to help...means so much to me.
I also tend to isolate myself so I'm really grateful when someone is willing to really engage with me.
1. Words of affirmation 37%
2. Quality Time 27%
3. Acts of Service 22%
4. Receiving Gifts 7%
5. Physical Touch 7%
I think this is the second time I've taken the test and gotten the exact same results on both:
1# Quality Time
2# Physical Touch
3# Acts of Service
4# Words of Affirmation
5# Receiving Gifts
This is going to be a long read, so TLDR; I guess I'm just a "show me your love" instead of a "tell me of your love" type of person.
Primarily I find that I perceive actions as more important than words or things, which also reflects in my Love language preferences.
To me time is the most precious thing in the world. This means that the greatest gift I can give and receive is time - you could say, that my core relationship value is "time" and it is this value I measure my relations by.
For example, someone voluntarily wanting to spend time with someone else, wanting to touch / be touched and voluntarily doing something for someone typically require some kind of personal proximity, meaning reciprocally giving the other the "gift" of time by being present.
Conversely, if someone seems reluctant to spend time with me, be near me or help me, I don't feel like they want to give me their time, which, according to my value system, also means they don't really like /love me or at least know me well enough to be willing to express love in a way I appreciate..
As for words of affirmation or receiving gifts, it's not like I do not like love expressed in that manner, but they just feel a lot more ephemeral in nature.
Once words are spoken, they are gone, even though they might be genuinely expressed in the moment. "Talk is cheap" is also a concern of mine, as words can more easily be deceptive compared to love expressed through actions (actions take time, words rarely do).
I do appreciate words of affirmation, if they aren't just surface level praise or a genuine expression of appreciation of my having spent time doing something extra in a given situation or just noticing something I do which is immediately apparent to someone else.
For example, it means something when someone expresses their appreciation when I've spent time to take care of a thing at work, which makes someone else's workday go a lot smoother or helping out at social events, even though I didn't have to.
I feel kind of the same when it comes to gifts. While a gift can be an expression of time, it kind of often feels like a conversion of worldly wealth (ie. money) into an act love and thus in reality a bribe of money.
The main exception to this is if the gift is something I know the giver has spent a lot of time on by either making it themselves, they have gone out of their way to acquire the gift or really shown consideration as to whether it'd be something I'd like.
Then it becomes a gift of time, regardless of the actual monetary value of the gift and I'd actually be inclined to see the gesture as Quality Time though the person spent time with me "in absentia" in their mind.
98% me, complete with explanations. I used to say that I'm, bilingual because physical touch was so high, but unless people spent time with me, I didn't want them touching me. And when I've had the investment of quality time, I do want a physical connection. Gifts are the bottom of the barrel for me as well, unless they've spent that quality time to get to know me to surprise me with something I didn't even know I wanted. That's special to me. And my INFJ radar can sometimes be so intense that I can sense when the words of affirmation are anything but. Actions mean more, which is why acts of service is higher.
I may be a "weird" INFJ, because my top love language is Physical Touch....tied with Words of Affirmation. 😁 Each had 9 points. Next was Quality Time with 7 (I did expect that to be higher); Acts of Service with 5; and Receiving Gifts with 0. I'm not sure how that one got 0, because I actually like giving gifts, but only when I'm inspired by something that makes me think of the person. I DON'T like receiving gifts, which is where the 0 probably comes from (since the questions seem geared toward how you prefer to receive love, not give it). When I love someone, I use all 5 of these, in differing ways. I think the top 2 are tied because I love physical affection from my SO...but not so much from anyone else. Other relationships, I prefer the affirming words.
Do you think the physical touch thing is an NF vibe? I'm an ENFP and some might witness me to be touchy feely with everyone but my touch boundary system is on point, i don't just hug or touch anybody. Once a stranger at a bar asked me for a hug and I outwardly said no. He laughed and i said no really you can't lol.Touch off my SO though, all day son 👐
@@TheSushiQueen100 it could be. Like you, I don't just touch anyone and I'm not particularly physically affectionate with most people. Kids - yes. Love kiddo hugs! Certain people in my family and my SO - yes. It probably for sure has to do with the feeling function. I think also that for me, personally, I didn't get enough physical affection as a child (none at all really), therefore I crave it now. :) Your interpretation may be correct, that combo of NF.
@@stephanieh6117 Yes kiddy hugs!! I squish my niece to death. She hates it but let's me do it anyway. That's interesting as I experienced that same lack as a child. Interesting perspective. Food for thought. Thanks lady! :)
I also scored high in physical touch (2nd place), reading comments makes me wonder what’s wrong with me :D to be fair though I’m only touchy with my partner, I don’t like when other people touch me
You are absolutely hilarious!! I love watching your videos.
Thanks for sharing your quality time with all of us, Frank!!
1. Acts of Service 27%
2. Quality Time 23%
3. Words of affirmation 20%
4. Physical Touch 17%
5. Receiving Gifts 13%
INFP and my top one was words of affirmation! 🤣 I knew it
Saaaaame 😂
Meg H me too.
Clearly Im here because you tell us we are cool and attractive...
10 Quality Time, 8 Words of Affirmation, 7 Physical Touch, 5 Acts of Service, 0 Receiving Gifts...
Acts of service for me is essentially the other person buying me snacks if they're already going to the store... that and doing the dishes... I hate dishes.
Ps. You posted this so we would send you gifts 😂
lol yeah exactly
Did some math. So, while watching lots of your videos, I've spent 173 years of quality time with you, man.
Celebrating the 1M subscribers I've been binge watching his videos and man I like this guy. I thought he was going to do like other youtubers and be all like "oh I got receiving gifts as my last one because I don't care about it... I care about deeper things" (totally misunderstanding what really receiving and/or giving presents is about) So it was cool checking that our man FJ here is keeping it real (I don't know why I've talked like that, probably because English is not my first language) Anyway I also thought I was going to get that as my first one and it was my second one
my love language: the absence of love entirely
Frank,people are blessed by doing things for people. don't steal their joy just accept the the thoughtfulness and kindness. And you are way to hard on yourself. whatever you are from depressed to intense.,that is who you are and who we love. Raw and real just like life.
Thank you very much for your support and encouragement. You are doing great.
I’m ENFP and my results are (for singles):
29% quality time
27% acts of service
23% physical touch
13% words of affirmation
10% receiving gifts
...interesting
Haha I chase compliments with insults. Every time I receive a compliment I immediately point out one of my flaws... it's a lovely reaction. Quality time was my top love language as well.
Me too, I have to force myself to just accept the compliment and keep my mouth shut so I won't attack myself. So it's awkward pause, then, 'Thank you!' Smh
Yes! I used to do that too. And then I figured out a way to sort of duck or diminish the compliment while still sort of accepting it. It has been an interesting exercise to just smile and say thank you, and then maybe offer a sincere compliment in return.
Getting compliments is almost embarassing for me lol especially when they mean it... its like hold on lemme ruin this real quick
I thought I was the only one who struggled with compliments. It is a real struggle. Sometimes I go to the awkward space in my mind I don't even remember saying thank you. Then I become more awkward by going back to thank them out of fear I was rude because I chased it with an insult or it was taken as I am so conceited I don't feel the need to say thank you.
Good job buddy! You guys a great job.
Yeah, that QT baby! That's part of why I like watching your videos so much man is because it feels like you're going out of your way to spend quality time with us plebs, even though you can't see us.. and we're just watching a recording of you from a while ago.. and we aren't really interacting in real time..... but you know what im sayin
Okay I did your test thing and got quality time as top , then three exact ties on physical, gifts and words of affirmation. Low on Acts of Service cause I like to do things myself lol!
I appreciate quality time is a few people I have dated dominated everything. If someone actually shared their time with me as much as I give to them that would mean everything. I love little tokens and comforts, something thoughtful is nice. I also like the comfort of physical touch because I am not that touchy feely normally but if they're in my "bubble" it means they're super special and a loving touch like a hug or arm can be hugely valued because it's rare lol
Yes! I'm the same in that I'm not generally touchy-feely (I'm quite quite shy about hugging friends hello but trained myself to get over that 😅) but it's different if I'm in a relationship bubble with someone. I find it comforting too 🙂
Damn dude, this video made me wanna give you a hug. Actually, physical touch is my dead last love language too...so let me amend it and say that this video made me want to give you a Coke Zero shirt.
My results were almost the same, except gift-giving and acts of service were reversed. It’s interesting though, because I think what you value in a relationship can change over time. My partner and I used to both freak out about giving each other the perfect gift - I think I got him like ten things our first Christmas together, because I figured then he’d like at least one thing, haha. But now that we’ve been together 5 years and live together, acts of service are more important. I think it feels less like a transaction and more like teamwork when I know he’s overwhelmed and I can cover his household responsibilities or vice-versa.
Except when it comes to doing the dishes. He’s on his own with that one for all eternity. 😉
Loved this - Frank on top form!! I especially appreciated the voice/impression of the unsubscriber :-) xxx
You got it. Quality time. Good job FJ. =)
1. Quality Time: We could sit in silence, and I'd be happy. You covered it perfectly.
2. Physical Touch: I don't like it when people touch me, but I touch others that I love-- rustling their hair, bopping their nose, etc... and bro hugs. Other than that, if I don't love you and you touch me, I'm uncomfortable.
3. Acts of Service: Really I just like the thought behind it, and being able to help others out if I can.
4. Gift Giving: Sure, I'll take a gift. It's not my way of receiving or giving love. Thanks, though?
5. Words: I don't need people telling me they love me or lifting me up. A lot of the times, words are overused and lack meaning. I find it true that "actions speak louder than words". Spending time with others is how I show that I love them-- that I'm patient enough. Not "I love you; you're great; I appreciate you."
Quality Time- 9
Acts of Service- 7
Words of affirmation- 6
Physical Touch- 4
Receiving Gifts-4
I've always wanted to spend more time with my partner with doing the things we're both interested in...because everything we do is like a way to speak but without the words. Playing piano, drawing-painting together, reading books and making a bunch of list for them, going to watch movies or have a room for all of them and sharing our thoughts together...oh yes quality time is what i would care the most with a great communication together. More than this just knwoing his existence right beside me is really meaningful and encouraging.
Though i really don't like making my partner help me, or being too stressed that they will feel like 'i should be the one who is gonna help her'...i really do appreciate how he would be willing to help me, how he really cares about my mental health, physical fatigue my daily routine.. I may not accept his help because of not wanting to put more pressure on him but i would definitely be grateful and appreciate him with words after taking my responsibilities back.
Making each other feel appreciated, cared and visible. More than physical touch and receiving gifs i care about our thoughts for each other, how we merge and how we use our words...(words of affirmation)
As a physical touch...hugging someone is like a cure for the soul. I love giving it to my partner and receiving back a tight hug.
Receiving gifts..actually this is what i mostly do for my partner but not able to get the same things from thim with thinking 'I hope he didn't put a lot effort for it, does it cause him economical problem'. But...if this is something which is simple but totally full of meaning for both of us i would definitely be happy with what he did, his thoughtfulness would make me do the same thing for him as well. It makes me dream about his mind, what he was thinking about when he wanted to get this gift for me and why. This is a warm feeling.
8-Quality Time
7-Receiving Gifts
6-Physical Touch
6-Words of Affirmation
3-Acts of Service
I like hugs as long as I'm the one who initiates them. And popcorn is my favorite snack...But if you give me your time, a thoughtful gift like a purple penguin squish toy because you know I love purple, penguins and ways to quell rage or a Komodo dragon tee, then our relationship is pretty solid.
Acts of services and then words of appreciation..and then quality time.
Uncanny because I never ask help from the others..but secretly I expect from my partner acts of services even unrequested.
@FrankJames the fact that you even know who Maurice Chevalier is impresses me. (For those who might not know, he was a very famous French actor in Hollywood back in the 60/70s. He sang the intro for the Disney movie The Aristocats)
I was introduced to the Love Languages in one of my Communication classes! Beyond personality, gender roles and life roles in general can really influence one's love languages. My top two are Quality of Time and Words of Affirmation (which is commonly in the top for women). It's also common for men to use acts of service as a love language, but I'd argue it's even more common for people who fill parental roles to use this language the most. Nothing quite says I love you like a parent making your favorite meal when you're in for a visit.
Good job buddy. You did a great job.
For me (infp):
5) receiving gifts
because what i need i can buy myself, and i dont like to have unnecessery things
4) physical touch
I'm not used to be touchy
3) quality time
It can be fun
2) acts of service
It's good to receive help
1) words of affirmation
For me it brings a lot of strength, because i have a lot of doubts about myself and my future, i like to feel that i'm supported and accepted. And i myself like to use this love language, i like to give compliments to people like "you're good at drawing, you're talented, you can make a youtube channel and upload your videos" etc. I like to use words as my expression of support.
I'm completely different (INFP)
1. Quality time
2. Words of affirmation
3. Acts of service
4. Receiving gifts
5. Physical touch
I actually really like receiving gesture gifts, like Frank says. It's a physical reminder that someone knows you well. I don't care for expensive things but really like personal gifts.
I'm an INFP, but quality time is my number 1, words of affirmation is near the bottom for me.
That was my number one Love Language to! I took that test awhile ago, so I don't remember the exact order of the other love languages. I know touch was near or at the bottom. I agree with all your reasonings with each love language. Re: Acts of Service- if I feel like I'm doing something for an exchange, I'll stop myself from doing it. I only want to do things if I want nothing in return. I feel like it's more genuine. But I have to be aware of that happening first! But I definitely feel obligated when someone does something nice for me.
P.S.- I always get gifts that show that I "know" the person. I get compliments for doing that, but there's a lot of pressure!
Frank! To be honest I think we would be pretty good friends. The five love languages is my one of my favorite tests to have people take because it makes it so much easier to show love to people and not waste my time doing things that don't mean anything to a particular person. I have tested time and time again as an "ISTJ" and I can't say that quality time is my recieving love language. However, quality time and words of affirmation seem to be my two highest giving love languages. My recieving are acts of service, gifts, quality time, words, and I scored almost a 0 for physical touch. It is not very often that I get to meet (or I guess get to know) someone who doesn't like touch either so thank you for all the efforts you put into making these videos. Although we are not similar in the Myers Briggs test, I still relate a lot with many things you say.
Here's mine:
33% Quality Time
27% Words of Affirmation
20% Acts of Service
13% Physical Touch
7% Receiving Gifts
I think your point with receiving gifts as a way of expressing intimate understanding and care is interesting because INFJ's seem to value when they are actually understood by others, and I think maybe the tangibility and permanence of an object can have the potential to really solidify receiving this deep care and understanding in one's mind. However, I also think that for different people the vehicle with which this understanding and care is communicated could be preferred in a different form, such as the acts of service or words of affirmation. IE, these are all tangible or sensory "things" that can be referred to or filed away in your mind as true understanding and care; we can discern that the only obvious reason someone would go about doing these things is with love, understanding, and good intentions. In that way, maybe it squashes our SE insecurity, if that makes sense (sort of a need for infallible verification). Although, I hear what you're saying regarding finding it hard to accept when people just do things for you (acts of service) and potentially feeling guilty that they've expended all this energy on you that you feel you have to repay them out of the kindness of your heart because you also want them to feel loved and don't want there to be a disparity or uncertainty in the communicated feelings of care for each other. I also am curious of whether we each perceive certain love languages as more "shallow" than other ones and if that factors into our equation of what is the most meaningful love language to receive and thus the most reliable communicator of actual love/care rather than what we may perceive as less personalized/based off of a true understanding of the recipient.
INFP
1. Quality time
2. Words of affirmation
3. Acts of service
4. Receiving gifts
5. Physical touch
I actually really like receiving gesture gifts, like Frank says. It's a physical reminder that someone knows you well. I don't care for expensive things but really like personal gifts.
5:54 Hey man, that video was good. You’re really good at making these videos. 🙃
Haha, anyway, I took this test about 5 years ago and got Quality Time and Physical Touch tied as the top two. Lately though I’ve been on the struggle bus with some depression, and this time when I took it I got Acts of Service as my number one (followed by Quality Time and Physical Touch).
It’s interesting to see how my results have changed based on my stage of life and what I’m going through at the time.
Why am i so intense while talking about love languages 😂 love your humor
Also i got the same result and i relate to what you said in the description especially gifts and acts of service
The test gives me a really difficult time to take with my lack of experience and messy interpersonal relationships, so I'm just trying to write my thoughts on each of the five.
I'm pretty sure that physical touch is #1 for me. And by that, I don't mean I'd do it a lot, but it's the most meaningful to me. A hug from someone I really love is the best medicine for my soul, and also the thing that gives me butterflies in my stomach, if it's by a love interest. It's a hard thing while being an INFJ, and I'm not giving it to everyone. It's like if I'm getting hugsy, it's the first sign that I got super attached emotionally. I also realised that if I'm mad at a family member, I "punish" them by not letting them to touch me.
After these, quality time for me is more like: "I don't really care if you don't give me your undivided attention, just let me be there and hold your hand, and give me some touches back to show that you appreciate it." What comes to my mind, is the introverts' comfortable silence, when both of us would be minding their own business while leaning on each other or something like that. It would be great. I don't know how high quality time is on my list, but cuddles are a priority.
With gift giving, if I get an idea about what could be a good gift for someone, I get excited about it. I like giving gifts, but wouldn't do it for whatever reason.
Words of affirmation and acts of service are weird things. I think I'm having a bad case of impostor syndrome, so compliments and getting helped out are things that can make me feel guilty because I would think I don't deserve any of these. They give me the illusion that people can't see me objectively. For some reason though, helping other people out makes me feel good. Also, I love being called cute, maybe because it's not a huge thing, it rarely ever happens though.
Also to physical touch: I've never gotten a chance to sleep with a significant other, but I sleep with heavy blankets even in the hottest summer, I think because it gives some illusion, along with plushies that I can hold in my arms.
Okay I’ve heard of this and saw this video after I just watched the one you uploaded today about the “new” UA-cam verification mark being taken down from most you tube creators over 100K. You Rock!
Anyway back to love languages. Here’s mine and not that surprised actually:
Your Scores
9 Quality Time
8 Words of Affirmation
6 Receiving Gifts
4 Acts of Service
3 Physical Touch
I’ve never been a touchy feely person so no surprise there unless with a romantic partner in private. I will hugs friends so I think that’s why it made a 3. I really think it’s right on track for me as far as the top two almost being a tie. Both are very important to me.
Thanks for the video even though I’m a year behind on seeing all your content. 😊
Btw your content will still rock with or without a checkmark from UA-cam. I know I’ll be watching. Tc
Yes agreed, time is very precious ☺
Oh my, FJ. Once again you have your finger on the pulse of your people. Prolly 85 to 90 percent will agree that time spent with another is the best. But, here's our disconnect, my Least favorite language are French gifts. Kidding!! 🤑 I do not like receiving gifts. I actually have a visceral cringe effect when someone gives me a present. However, I Love giving gifts as often as possible. I bought myself the most beautiful blanket ever made....it was so soft and the colors were of a snow leopard. I put it carefully away so No one would manhandle it because yes, it almost demanded to be held. Then, one day my beautiful sister Maria was very sad. So, naturally I went and wrapped up my favorite possession in the world and gave it to her. That's love to me....giving what you cherish to someone you cherish more. It took me five years to save enuff dough to get another one for myself. It ended up on my boyfriend's side of the bed. Yes, I am a martyr....no, I don't want material things that can be broken or ruined. But, I have an identic memory so a word spoken 12 years ago can be recalled and still have the power to make me smile or blush. Thank you for telling your evil twin that you didn't need him to make another vlog tonight. He was a little- lot intimidating last time. Keep it real and attractive, FJ.💜
My number one is same as yours Frank. I want to have meaningful conversation and I need it to be organic not forced. I want authenticity and integrity and for conversation to flow naturally. It is really if not impossible to find. My most meaningful convos are here on YT. Pathetic but I am so grateful for the intelligent and understanding ppl I’ve actually met here. You are one of them Frank. U also have a great sense of humor that just naturally interject which I so appreciate also.
I definitely did get quality time as my first one. My last was giving gifts but I feel like you do about service, with gifts. Especially with money, because I feel like I owe them that value back. I love giving gifts though and receiving thoughtful ones but I still don’t accept them well, as with compliments like you mentioned. Service was my second because I strive to help people and getting help just shows that they’ll actually go out of their way to do something for me. Words of affirmation was third, somewhat surprisingly that it wasn’t higher because I though for sure that would be my #1. I have a positive Instagram account, but I do sometimes struggle to accept others’ words of encouragement. Fourth was physical touch - hugs are nice when needed but I don’t enforce them typically.
Oh man I was wheezing laughing almost completely through the whole thing 😂
Mine as an infj:
Words of affirmation cus my mama never gave me any lol
Acts of service
Quality time
Gift
Physical touch
Completely agree with this review of 5 LL.
I read the book and really tried to utilize the info in my last relationship to no avail. I think Quality Time was at the top of the list but everything else was a pretty even split.
However, I do remember discovering the language I use to receive is different from the one I use to give. Gift-giving is far and away my language to show love and it’s maybe my favorite thing to do and while I LOVE getting them, I feel like Acts of Service feels next-level because the person is still taking time to figure out what I need most in my life but it’s usually to help me relieve pressure, anxiety, workload etc (or help with a project and then it’s bonus Quality Time too...cha-ching!).
I like to imagine your first sentence there as a quote on the cover of the book.
@@FrankJames 😂
Words of affirmation is my love language. Acts of service is my second, quality time is after, physical touch comes next. Lastly, gifts. I like receiving gifts but I feel guilty when I do because I feel I can never repay for what they've given me. Acts of service is high up maybe because I'm married and we have two kids, so helping me is a huge yes and emotional turn on.
BTW, I'm binge watching your videos on this insomniatic night. ( Is that a word) you are brilliant, so entertaining, and yes, of course easy on the eyes. Love your videos. How are you doing lately? I know you are taking a break of some sort. I hope you are good FJ, every little thing will be alright. 🤗
1. Quality Time - This is the #1 most common love language. You can't have a proper relationship without it.
2. Words of Affirmation - They must be sincere. That means that they had better be specific or I won't believe it and it irritates me. For example, if my husband tells me I'm beautiful, I will call BS. If he looks at me and says "Your hair looks beautiful," that's more believable.
3. Gifts - I only like them if either A) I asked for that specific gift or B) the gift is practical and/or consumable. Any unwanted gifts go straight to Goodwill.
4. Acts of Service - My mother did this to show her love, and so I learned to take them for granted.
5. Physical Touch - I enjoy physical touch, but it doesn't make me feel loved. Nor do I appreciate hugs from anyone except my mother, husband, and kids.
There's another love language (unofficial) that's something like Intellectual Conversation. That's actually my #1. My husband (ENTP) and I (INTP) love coming up with scenarios about different stories I'm writing or different adventures we'll have next time in Dungeons & Dragons. Guess that falls into the Quality Time category.
The Hierarchy Of the love languages mentioned in this video is pretty accurate for me. Though The Part Mentioned about the Receiving help feeling like a Transaction may not be because you cannot accept help and More of Having the clarity that everything always truly is like a transaction in a way that every action has some form of reaction or meaning to the person doing it and so it might be a good idea to understand it as a transaction and just be grateful for it rather analysing what they would expect in return or why they are doing it at all. Also, Regarding the Gifts love language, for me, it absolutely represents the relationship but also makes me feel like someone has put time and thought in understanding who i am and what i would like and that's the most fascinating and enjoyable part of physical gifts. And I Love Surprises so it just adds to that fact :)
You're pretty hilarious in this video :) Quality Time is #1 for me. Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, and Acts of Service (in that order) are only 1 point away from each other, so I don't think the middle portion means much. Receiving Gifts is my lowest score, and I see it in the way you see Acts of Service. I feel bad getting gifts, because I automatically feel as though I'm under pressure to get that person a gift too.
I am freaked out by the similarity of our perspectives! .... the thing that sruck me most is that bit about act of services... I also find it difficult to accept it .. to own it and to believe that I am worthy sometimes even when it comes from people in whom I have no doubt of their love.. I need to work on that
And I also share your preferred language.. nothing beats time and pure attention to prove love. Thank FJ
My number 1 is gift giving. That is how I both give and receive love. I think its the most misunderstood love language. Its not about the money being spent. Its about showing that someone took the time to know you well enough to know what you like rather than doing the typical force something they like on you.
Frank, I saw one of your video which blasted me out, I just wanna share that experience with you. You won't believe it!!
Yes!!!! Quality time!!!
I love the 5 Love Language as a book and as a tool! In my own book EDEN: A Relationship-Based Template for Co-creating Paradise on Earth, and in my Couples & Mediation work I encourage others to learn their, and their loved ones Primary Love Languages, and then regularly apply them to improve their communicating, relating, and intimacy. I AM INFJ- and i scored as having a dual Primary Love Language: Physical Touch AND Quality time. While I'm much more touchy feely and openly physically demonstrative than most, what i know about me is Physical Touch is only in a top dual position with Intimate Partner and my Kids- because as much as i looooove being touched by someone i want to be physically close to is as much as i don't want to be touched by someone i don't want to be physically close to! So, my Universal top primary with all people would be Quality Time (Presence) which is often what i want in connection with physical touch when i receive it, #3 for me is Words of Validation (i find this to be the most universally accepted/ received when you don't know what the other person's Primary Love Language is , and/ or yours vary differently from theirs- most people are receptive to a compliment, or affirmative word (whether written or verbal), #4 for me is Material Gifts, and #5 Acts of Service. When people don't know about the Love Languages, i find they most consistently tend to give to others the Love Language they desire and enjoy to receive most themselves- which often points to what they also feel most comfortable with. I was amused by some of your takes on this topic...but don't worry, your safe behind a computer screen so i can't hug you in appreciation. ha! ha! :)
1.Words of affirmation
2.Physical touch
3.Acts of service
4.Quality time
5.Receiving gifts
I feel the exact same way FJ. Literally word for word!
I am INFJ (supposedly), but my #1 is Words of Affirmation. The very very very most powerful way for me to receive love or gift love is a combo of that and gift-giving-- notes. I will treasure those forever and I spend so much time mulling over what I want to express, how to say it, and how the other person might need to hear it.
While searching through my emails for my more recent Love Language test results, I actually came across my test results dating back two years ago, and they actually still speak to how I would prefer to show/receive love. In order of most to least favored, they are: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Receiving Gifts. As a proud INFJ myself, I say this order of preference is pretty accurate!
INFP- Words of Affirmation followed by 1 point Quality time, then Acts of service, Touch, Receiving gifts.
If I can have a good, long conversation (Words) one on one or in a small group for an extended (Quality time) period of time- gold. My sister-in-law also pointed out to me that I’m good at working, doing things for people and just hanging out. If you need your dishes done and laundry folded- yes. If you need someone to hang with or just sit quietly with you-yes. When she told me this I was surprised because I just thought everyone was like this. She said, “No, not everyone is good at doing both types of things. People usually work and fix and that’s it or people just chill and don’t work or know how to do things for others.” So that was interesting and made me feel good. I’d like to also add that my husband’s family is very xSTJ.
Edit- because I can’t spell ‘hanging’
Of course, being a hopeless romantic, I love stuff like. Truth. Starting at the top, which is the best it's got to be gift giving. I take a LOT of time and pride in giving the perfect gift. I get so excited to see a loved one's face when they receive a special gift that truly resonates with them. It completely warms my heart, brings a rush of joy and I can only hope that it does the same for the one I love! Numero two- physical touch, which to me does not mean PDA by any means, but hand holding is a big one, hugs after a long day, crazy eye gazing and night time cuddles are 'D-best' (actual license plate). Come on Frank, you gotta get on this program! Scientifically proven to improve mental and physical health and something that was not quite natural to me, but so very achievable. 10 second full out hug with the one you love. Bear hug that lover! Personally, I think this goes hand in hand with quality time, so I wouln't seperate the two. This is followed by words of affirmation, which is weird b/c I am a pro at giving words of encouragement, as I see such immense value in showing love by verbalizing it often. Everyone shoul know when they are simply trying their best or full out rocking it. Absolutely! I suppose I'm simply not surrounded by others who don't feel the same and therefore not used to being on the receiving end of this one, so it's lower on my list? Acts of service is definitely last. If you can change a light bulb that's great, thanks...(sound of crickets ensues)...I'm a pretty independent woman, so if it's not there, for the most part it's helpful, but not a critical part of love! Essentially, know how your love one prefers to have their needs met, verbalize and check in with your partner and you're on your way to relationship happiness, IMO. That and the key of compatibiity, and chemisty and you can go along way! Cheers to sweet lovin', now go get it!
1. Quality Time
2. Acts of service
3. Physical touch
4. Receiving Gifts
5. Words of affirmation
Hahha this one was so funny. When I went to Japan everyone gives small gifts to you wherever you go. Was customary and so sweet. I’m primarily an affirmation. I read some place ‘affirmation’ was huge for INFJ. Gifts are my last. Touch my second. Quality time is huge but I looove to be alone. I like to see people but I value my time alone. That’s probably why that’s number 3 for me. Thanks FJ I spend my 10-15 w/ ya every day! PEACE
I'm an INFJ and I feel like your personality seems quite different to mine (or maybe the way you are on camera) but I love the satire and dry humour thrown into your videos, it cracks me up!! XD
i'm infp and i got words of affirmation as my top one, it's pretty much spot on haha
My first is acts of service and second is quality time. This makes sense because both are spending time together and all too often, I don't get help even when I ask for it from people. The rest go gifts, physical touch, and affirmation.
I love quality time. All of those gifts and affirmations and acts of service don't mean much if you're not interested in getting to know and understand me and my heart. I would however appreciate the thought behind the gesture as for some it might be their expression of love towards me. So I always appreciate the thought behind it. I just always wish it could be more.. that it could be deeper.. that we could find words and talk, unguarded
I got quality time as number one, and I think you said it perfectly. Being with people is so draining that I really only want to use it up on people I love, so it feels like an honor for it to be reciprocated.
I do wish there was a love language called understand or something though. You know like you tell a friend ‘I’m so sorry, but I’m drained and need alone time’ and they understand and know you still love them without making you feel bad for needing to disappear. 😂
Mine is quality time too, however, I think it's tied with words of affirmation ..specifically encouragement, kindness, and respect. To me those things have to go together for it be meaningful.
My top one is quality time, and my lowest is also physical touch. My number two is acts of service, even though I’d rather not have people do things for me, I think I that one is more of a way of me showing love to others rather than receiving it.
ME...all of those..
In that exact order. 🧡💙💛💚💜❤ Quality time, especially with your children pays huge dividends in the future.
Acts of service is how I feel most loved but quality time is how I love others the most naturally
ENTP female here. My LLs:
1.Words of Affirmation
2. Gift Giving/Receiving
(Buy me things and tell me I’m smart and pretty)
3. Quality Time
4. Physical Touch
5. Acts of Service
I got this when I first took it about 10 years ago and I got the same exact thing when I took it just now. I think that’s what makes the 5LL so useful. It really is so uncomplicated and useful.
Funny thing is, its beneficial for me to be in a relationship (or close friendship) with someone who likes to give Acts of Service because I’m pretty incapable of living life and realistically need someone to take care of my shit for me (bad case of ADHD w/depression). But the fact is I will never think to perform acts of service for someone else. It doesn’t even cross my mind. The only thing I do that is related to AoS is cook and provide food, but that feels like gift giving and quality time to me.
I completely agree with you about gift giving. It’s a tangible and visual reminder of the love you share with someone and it shows they were thinking of you when they weren’t physically close to you. It can also totally be a way to communicate that you get a person on a deep level. 👏👏👏
I paused the video before you gave your results because I didn't want to be unconsciously influenced when I took the quiz. I expected my results to be very close to yours, but it turns out they're quite different. Mine, from first to last: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, and receiving gifts. I share your thoughts on quality time, though. Someone's undivided attention is the best. I think for me, words of affirmation are bound up with that, thus my results. (I think if "gifts" were specifically "large sums of cash," my results may have been different.)
Jonathan Locke I did the same thing. Hah
Really good book... wish more would read it and use what they learn from it and wish they had one for families.
I was so surprised that I got the same top 3 even though you predicted it. Especially the gifts one. People always misinterpret that as being materialistic but I like how you explained it that it shows you know me if you can get me something I really like. Plus the physical representation of love comment. I express love a lot through gifts too though.
lol Thumbs up for that commercial break alone.
My top three were only one apart-acts of service, verbal affirmation, physical touch. Bottom two -quality time and gifts. Interesting that this is the result, supposedly what I want, yet I am not instinctually comfortable with people helping me/going out of their way etc. I have grown in this area by forcing myself to accept help when offered, but it is more what I enjoy doing for others. Same with words of affirmation. Physical touch is important...if I am remembering correctly... Any who-I love spending time with someone I care about, even if just sharing space. Maybe it is 4 because I don’t let just anyone in my space. Physical gifts-I’m not surprised by this being last, but yet I have saved letters or cards, little stones, to remember the person/place.
So hmmm, interesting. Perhaps I am simply fluid in my love languages😊.
9 Quality time, 7 Acts of Service, 7 Words of Affirmation, 4 Physical Touch, and 3 Receiving Gifts.
I've taken this test before, like two years ago, and the one that used to be my highest is now my lowest (reciving gifts). It's good that I took it again.
Quality time on top of my list too.
I took this test a while back and I believe quality time was my first. I'm not sure about the others. Good video!
top to bottom: 1. Quality time 2. physical touch 3. Words of affirmation 4. Acts of service 5. receiving gifts. for me me, the first three are actually all almost tied. however... my scores are relationship based.. not platonic. I seldom let people touch me unless I have very deep trust with them, such as close family or someone I am deeply intimate with (which is currently no one). I am surprised Acts of Service isn't actually my lowest because I prefer people don't do things for me for the same response you gave, and while helping people is good, it can also be energy draining. when it comes to gift giving. I am the person who methodically puts my time, thought, and effort into giving gifts that the recipient will truly appreciate and enjoy, however, I can put so much energy into it that I would rather just conserve my energy unless that person has a certain importance in my life. I also do not care for gifts. I can really go without them and unless it's something of deep sentiment, or has very practical use, it usually just stays in the gift bag and I often forget about it. It really depends on what it is and who it's from. My last two were significantly lower than my first three.
Same order of importance. You were right! 😆
Giving/receiving gifts and quality time for this infj.
Yup, Quality Time is my number one, with Physical Touch being the least. I try to steer clear of the 5LL after feeling like it was the demise of my last big breakup. It's good to know how you operate, and yet at the same time, it feels so disingenuous to try to force yourself to show 'love' in a way that you don't connect with (especially if you feel the other person isn't making attempts to do the same). Ugh. 5LL.
yeah I imagine it is a bit difficult to show love for someone whose love language is the exact opposite.
i'm infj and my scores are:
11 Quality Time
7 Words of Affirmation
6 Acts of Service
4 Receiving Gifts
2 Physical Touch
quality time is top. obviously you can't top the time you spend with people it almost boggles my mind how this isn't top for every person.
words of affirmation is second. i love to be complimented and i love charismatic people so this is no surprise. i love writing, poems and songs. it's very special to hear someone describe you and put into words how they feel, even if they have a hard time. i love expression through words.
acts of service is third. so i took this quiz a long time ago and i think gifts and service was switched. i think it only changed because i was thinking more of 'it's nice when people spend time with me and help' more so than i just want them to do stuff. i want people to do stuff, with me AKA more quality time. people spending time to help you shows they care though so cool.
receiving gifts is fourth. i love gifts, everyone does but i think why it's so low is that i feel bad when people get me stuff. i don't want to ask for a lot because i feel guilty for them spending their hard earned money on me. i get the 'liking gifts because they remind you of a person' thing because i'm like that too i just guess my mindset is more 'don't waste your money on me' handmade thoughtful things i guess is probably ideal.
physical touch is last. i don't really need it to have a connection with someone, most of the connection is mental. i also don't like when people hug me unless it's someone i'm seeing. i even hate when my own mom hugs me. it's just awkward and i don't need it.
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Acts of Service
4. Physical Touch
5. Gifts
INFJ- 4w5- Gemini. And whatever else can describe my general attitude. Lol. I think I'm addicted to these personality forms.
One of my first boyfriends in high school would leave a big candy Tootsie Roll under my windshield wiper for me to find when I got into my car to drive to school in the morning. Not an expensive gift, but so thoughtful and adorable! ❤It may seem like a small gesture but since Tootsie Rolls were my favorite candy it made my entire day!