5 reasons why guys give a minimal effort. When guys pull away.
Вставка
- Опубліковано 19 лип 2024
- 5 reasons He’s not trying.
The Minimal Effort Guy. Part 1
Part 2 here: • 6 reasons why guys giv...
Hey Ladies! This is part one of a two part series about why some of you at getting minimal efforts from guys. I didn’t want to cram them into one long video so I broke it up.
This first list focuses on the reasons you may be able to influence or control. The other list focuses predominantly on the reasons outside of your reach and responsibility.
A lot of times women write me and they ask why the guys they are talking to seem so hot 🥵 a cold 🥶. Why do they at first seem interested or even aggressive but then ultimately back off of trying. Even to the point of distance. Well these are the first 5. To get the second 5 watch the other video.
You ruined the dynamic by pursuing-
A man’s initial effort comes because of the need to pursue a woman to get increased access to her. To do that a must must offer himself to a woman. When courting a woman efforts are made to grow with her incrementally. By first entertaining her, and then gaining her trust, finally becoming important to her emotionally. Once these have been accomplished access is granted to her heart. And simultaneously throughout the process certain standards of effort have been set. The behaviors that nurtured progress with that woman are continued into the relationship. The behaviors that didn’t help are abandoned. When women offer themselves to men by pursuing them. As the pursuer, they grant almost instant access to all the things about them that a man would have otherwise worked for. It sets a dynamic for him to grant access instead of seek access. He learns through your behavior that he is the prize and nothing is required of him but to be entertained. Women who chase men often think they’ve made progress because they see moments or days of sexual aggression from the guy. When we get hungry we eat. When we get ornery we fut. Libido is instinct. It’s not a pursuit. To prevent confusion only step forward when he does. In the beginning be responsive to his efforts and at the most match them. Let him earn his time with you.
Don’t take over to force growth in the relationship. Don’t compensate for his non action with action.
You set the bar to low- I speak to a lot of women who accept first dates or any dates in the very beginning to some guys house or to a bar. After a couple spotty sporadic text messages he wants to meet in the laziest way possible and she accepts because she likes him. Even though he hasn’t even used her number to talk to her. Just to set up the lazy date. She has simultaneously set his bar for communication low and set his bar for entertainment low. Women often times don’t know how to say no or do better when presented with subpar effort from guys. As things move forward they wonder why things aren’t getting better. A mans Excitement and effort are usually the highest in the very beginning. As he gets settled and learns to trust the relationship his effort calms down a bit. Men who start with high effort settle in a more sustainable but still attentive place. Men who start at the bottom of the effort scale tend to stay at the bottom. On the bright side of things, low effort men are often telegraphing how dull long term life is like with them so you don’t have to guess. To prevent this say no lazy dates. Stop going to guys houses to hang out before they’ve shown consistent effort to really entertain you. Stop going on bar dates before you really know if you could enjoy a guys company sober. Stop getting banged in cars, on couches, and cheap motels by the new men in your life. Set a standard of quality. Don’t be afraid to say. This is how often we need to talk, these are the type of dates I like. This is what it takes to get me and keep me. Don’t be afraid to scare a guy off with standards....
If you would like email advice please visit my website at
www.girltalkwithguys.com/emai....
If you would like a personal 60 minute phone consultation you can
schedule one on my website at
www.girltalkwithguys.com/book...
If you would like to support my UA-cam channel and make a donation,
you can do so at www.paypal.me/kevhick
You can become a Patreon supporter by going to
www.patreon.com/kevhick
T-shirt store teespring.com/stores/kev-hick... - Навчання та стиль
It's easier and mentally peaceful to remain single. #Imgood ✌😌
I think so too 🤦
Way too many games. I'm happy being single!
I agree 100%
AMEN
Facts!!! Resolution for the rest of my forever years🙄
Ive started telling guys up front I don't Netflix and chill. It's actual dates or nothing. They try to push 'chillin' on me and ghost when they realize they're not getting anything 😂
And "chillin" means sex...😩
Exactly broke & cheap as hell
😂😂
netflix is a date, a date is anytime you spend with a person
😂😂😂
Guy’s insecurities are the reason behind all this drama
@Property of Yah - Yeah, it is ALL their mothers' fault that they actually think they are WORTH something. . . .
Lol they not ready for this honesty Yazil
@@GangstaBoo7 you should check yourself
Nabari z check myself??
Men play way more games than women ever do and all because of their egos. Not every man is evolved and decent like Kevin Hicks or Derrick Jaxn, most are players or trying to be.
When a man is all excited in the beginning and really pursuing you, then goes cold sometimes, it's pretty much over. He might just not really see you as the one. Nothing you can do will change it, and you'll be wasting your time trying to get him to act differently.
Very true! Woman accept your lose and move on because men sure do without blinking an eye
Man are too shallow!
I dissagree. Sometimes it just so happens that you prove him your real worth,not the illusion he fell for,and that only makes him aprrciate you more.
So true. Wish I would've followed my gut 17 years ago. Now, I'm preparing for my departure. Only good thing came from this trainwreck is my son.
PINKY BLISS I feel like when they pursue you too much in the beginning and give you too many compliments that they’ll quickly move on, I get suss now when they do that. Red flags
"On the bright side, low effort guys are just telegraphing how dull a long term life with them is. So you don't have to guess or waste your time dating them for 6 mos to find out that they suck." #applause
True, meeting up 6 times is enough
💯
OOOOOOOOOO. I LIKE THAT
Facts! Facsimile!
Let’s make this brother a millionaire for his services to the sisters!
Foreal
Yes, y’all do that 😂
Right
@@KevHick 😂😂😂😂
Jesus Christ is Lord IM SAYIIIINNNG HE NEEDS TO BE PAID!!! I have two older sisters and 4 older brothers and I cannot tell you how much I wish somebody would’ve sat me down and have theses conversations with me so I knew what to expect and how to handle certain situations! He’s providing a guide for girls and women who may not have someone to tell them the do’s and don’ts and all from a man’s perspective. RUN👏🏽. HIM.👏🏽A.👏🏽CHECK👏🏽!!!!
" Never be afraid to scare a guy off with your standards "😂
I suspected my husband always texting a lady on his phone , We’ve been married for 18 years, we’ve both been happy together until recently when he switched side and I found out he has been cheating .I explained my story to a colleague at work then she introduced me to this genuine hacker, Darkwebprohacker who gave me access to his phone , I had complete access to his phone right on my own device and I could see all his activities for the past 2years and also have access to new notifications, his text messages, Facebook messages,location, call logs, and I found out my husband was also flirting on dating sites..I love my husband a lot and I still don’t understand why he betrayed me, I have been a good hardworking wife and never for once cheated on him. I tracked him down and found out he was always going to sleep in another woman’s house with me thinking my husband is always at work for night shift. You can contact this great hacker who helped me found out the truth about my husband at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or Whats app +17076225057 or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into his phone without even touching his phone.I have enough evidence against my husband and I am thinking of Filing for divorce.I want advice if I should give him another chance or let go ?We have 2 kids together
, It's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger
Next time a man falls back don't chase fall back too and watch what happens. I've been doing this lately, and they always come back. Usually saying they were busy with work or "depressed" and they're so sorry they ignored me lol Yeah right!
Rizza The Great true
OMG people are using the word Depressed like Crazy Now that’s the new word. I thought it was only people I know
@@candy5742 For real! It's one of those excuses that make you feel guilty for having your own valid feelings.
oh my god i thought i was the only one dealing with a guy like that !
They come back every time and it’s a lovely feeling when you get to decide whether or not you even want to let them back in
It's not easy being a woman. The hardest part is to learn what men are about.
Whatever it is shall be
TRUE AS HECK!
@Tramadol the official sponsor of feminism too much talk
@Tramadol the official sponsor of feminism unfortunately those of us who are anti feminist, submissive and sweet and "hard to get", loyal, caring women, who were attracted to kind men ( and usually only one man), most of those kind men will treat you like garbage automatically and destroy our hearts. Leaving us no choice but to choose older men, get plastic surgery, go IG model, attract thousands of men to compete for our time, and ultimately, lose our care. It is forced upon to us, sadly. You cannot blame our side with out taking responsibility yourself equally. It is not one side against the other
sarnee pinkque seems like we can’t win for loosing. If we put ourselves out there, we’re desperate. When we see things for what that are and walk off then we’re inconsistent. I’m just tired. Like really done. Bx unless God places him right in my face, I’m over it.
Step back and pay attention to how these “men” move. They don’t invest emotionally like we do. They will drop you as soon as they get bored or have enough money to spoil an instagram model. STOP IT. Put yourself first (just like they put themselves first) get ur coins 💰, have fun, and take care of family ❤️
Glo SS IG models are so superficial
kiwibrown so true it’s like everywhere bitches kill me dating guys from another city or state like sis he ant shit either
🔥🔥🔥
Facts!
@bigjayking24 you are absolutely right.
Man kept telling me how "I miss you" ..."I'm thinking about you" then no contact for almost 2 days!....the fact that he proclaims this, initiated this, and said he's ready for a relationship, but got upset when I asked for consistency.
YOU persued ME, YOU made your intentions known now you mad cuz I wanna see what that looks like from YOU. Man, dating is a challenge.
Done with him..... NEXT....
I'm too old for this ISH!
Jo_ridin_solo . For 2 days ? Sounds ridiculously short time. I got a feeling you gave away how desperate you are . He got cold feet.
Let me give a little more context. I've known this man for 7 yrs, we're both in our 50's. We've been kinda connecting here and there over the years. He sucks at communication, but it had been a while since we last connected.
I've expressed to him before that I need consistency from him. No, he doesnt need to call me every.single.day; however, if he's now come back scratchin on my door!.....then show me what you seem to be so easy to express verbally.
The first time it happen (1 1/2 days with no contact) I said, "this is looking familiar. Can you please at least be consistent in this area for me? If you got time to go to the bathroom, you've got a sec to shoot me a quick text."
I didn't think that was asking too much from a man who's sending me "I miss you" "excited to see you" "you should be mine" "hurry up" text msgs. Instead he got upset and said "well, I guess we aren't compatible then!"
...2 weeks in and this is his level of communication in response to how he makes me "feel." Yup, he probably won't be the man who nurtures my heart or my simple concerns.
I don't need to waste time trying to "convince" him otherwise.
@@imbrakingthrough2152..... and by the way, I'm far from desperate. I'm just older and wiser and know what I need to see from a man before I let my guard down. If the effort isn't made in the first 2 weeks (even after my asking), I guess I'm DESPERATE enough to put ME first and keep it moving.
Unlike some, I'm not afraid to be single or alone I just have my own standards. Keywords: MY OWN STANDARDS
Facts! I swear, no one last more than a week and a half. I call out red flags, inconsistent behaviors, lack of financial stability and these dudes go ghost. Like really, what y'all thought this was?
#weedingthemout
@Nahoma Sharrock Here's a little more context. I've known this man for 7 years, we're both in our 50's. We've been kinda connecting here and there over the years. He sucks at communication, but it had been a while since we last connected. I've expressed to him before that I need consistency from him. No, he doesn't need to call me every.single.day; however, if he's now come scratching at my door!!....then show me what you seem to be so easy to express verbally.
The first time it happened (1 1/2 days w/ no contact) I said, "This is looking familiar. Can you please at least be consistent in this area for me? If you got time to go to the bathroom, you've got a sec to shoot me a quick text." I didn't think this was asking too much from a man who's sending me "I miss u" "excited to see u" "u should be mine" texts. Instead he got upset and said, "well, I guess we aren't compatible then!"
...2 wks in and this is his level of communication in response to how he makes me "feel." He probably won't be the man who nurtures my heart or listens to my simple concerns. ...and I definitely don't need to waste my time trying to "convince" him otherwise. (sorry for the length...just wanted to give more details)
1) i ruined the dynamic by pursuing him
2) I set the bar too low (a few fun texts >> he sets a sub-par date)
3) I slept with him too soon (emotional connection was stunted before he explored my other qualities)
4) I gave him too much assurance that I only gave eyes for him (too transparent and competition drives performance)
5) I accept minimal effort; I’m easy to please (taken for granted)
Bren Williams I think being reciprocated in budding friendships/ relationships is cool. Not overly aggressive though. Like I show I like a guy but not overly interested like he’s some king 👑!
Did all of these too and that guy treated me sometimes good and also bad, breadcrumbs for the most part, took me for granted, was sexually bored after one month and using me for 1,5 years. It is over and not repairable. Boy, it is hard, when you parents, nor the schoolsystem educates you on this subjects. As a woman or girl you are lost. So this youtube wisdom movies are so valuable. But, all this heartache and lost years!!!
Bless you girl and leds get educated about men/women relationships.
I did number one. Didn't go anywhere. I walked. He wanted/pursued someone else. Almost two years later, he contacted me by proxy. Me being stupid, I though he was back to give me what I tried to pursue years earlier. That was a lie. He say he was never interested. Only came back for a ego boost. I learned he knew I liked him all along and preyed upon that for his ego. He also thinks I don't know about him pursuing someone else. 😂 Narcissists are so textbook. He's blocked and cant come back. ✌
@@jodian2986 Hello Jodian, i quit the relationship, and from new-years day, i did not wanted to see him anymore. I said, i've learned a lot this 1,5 years and i never wanted to experience this anymore (his behavior). Cold turkey. I cried a lot this 1,5 years, was in an emotional rollercoaster, anxiety attacks, suicidal, and totally losing myself. Sometimes you need to be honnest and follow your gut instinct. I did also realize, when you ruin the dynamic, in my case, i could not fix it anymore. And i also realized, that i am too giving, too loyal, too loving, too soon and i attracted the wrong one ( in my case ). I deserve better treatment and learned, i have to change my behavior, and learn more...It hurts badly to lose the love of my life, but i also feel, i am better of without him ( and he too ). He has also to learn, that taking a woman for granted and being lazy does not work. I feel very sad and lost, but also feel more emotional in peace and accepting. We have to move on..., and learn. I watch youtube movies like.
Kev Hicks 😉
Derrick Jaxn
R.C. Blakes (The father- daughter talk&queenoligy&narcisism...)
Susan Winter
And i read articles on Quora, about ( love & marriage ).
Every case is different Jodian, but we learn from eachother. How are you? Be welcome to share your thoughts and feelings about your situation. Because your story is probably different..., and similar!
Kind regards🌹
Tru2TheGame69 Wow what an asshole. You definitely deserve better then that.
Never thought about the fact that if they start setting the bar low. It never gets any better!
This explains why men I'm not interested in always pursue the hardest.
They call women crazy yet they're the true crazy ones who don't see it.
Same here
@@sonyvalencia uh YUP. w/their hot/cold ass. that song sums it up perfectly...."you pms, like a bitch, I should know..." LOL.
@@sonyvalencia men hate to admit it, but they’re a lot like the women they complain about. They say women play hard to get, just want attention or never know what they want. The EXACT same can be said about many men. Which explains their confusing behavior. Majority of them just want attention or don’t know wtf they want
So basically it’s your fault ladies. Because you didn’t play games with him by mistreating him and making feel like he ain’t important 🤦🏽♀️ Men I swear
Ikr... Fucking stupid...🙈
Ugh 😒
I experienced the same thing with a guy I was talking to last year. His ex would curse him out over the phone, prevent him from seeing his child, lie and dog him out to family and friends. To him she is a good person who needs patience and understanding. Me on the other hand, I have been nothing but good and honest to this man, yet he would look for any little thing about me that bothered him. Later I found out he was using me as a distraction from his ex/baby momma until she felt like dealing with him.
Basically!! So many Men are idiots.
Men don’t like or respect shit that’s easy or handed to them . They like things that feel like it’s an impossible mission to get and make them hunt for it . Just their nature 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️ your best bet is to not be the woman that just hands a man what he wants without him earning it
Men pull away play mind games and always trying to achieve an ego boost.... it’s kinna sick.
Yup
Jac G ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
Yup, all insecurities and not your problem
omg just said practically same thing, lol...so just treat em like crap all the time so they never get what they want...lol.
Yup that duttiness
Stop sleeping w everyone so early and stop going to netflix and chill. Smh
? Me and someone else discussed this the other day so i want your opinion what do u consider too early
@Eva Green Lover if you ain't dtf then forget about it no men is going to waste his time on you
@Eva Green Lover I met a guy while doing Lyft who shared he almost got a booty call from a girl. I was thinking thank god it did not happen for that girl. Women are out there giving it up left and right. I agree they make it bad for themselves and other women.
@Andrea Gomez By believing they're responsible and holding them accountable, we don't accept netflix and chill dates or early sex.
Girl , I get horny I’m sorry , I regret it now . Lol I left him yesterday , he is to busy smh 🤦🏼♀️
“Never be afraid to scare a guy off with your standards.” Real talk. I’ve finally applied this over the past 2 years, including celibacy and it works. It kept all the lazy bs-ing time wasters away from me.
Facts ‼️‼️‼️
It worked? How long you been married?
@@PrimalRageTV Not yet, but I’ll be back with an update 😉
"Don't be afraid to scare a guy off with your standards!!!" 🔥🔥🔥
"Don't take over to force growth in the relationship." TRUTH!!
Well.....ive done some fuckery... Gotta do better😔
Nene Nene don’t we all?
😂
we all have lol
Same here girl ... 😔 but it’s good to learn
Me too gurl I really messed up
“train a man how to treat you” hit me like a train. This man I really liked didn’t hold open doors for me, didn’t offer to take me anywhere nice and even made me pay for breakfast when we went out. I was for some reason head over heels for him. I met a new guy some months later who treated me like the queen I am and I didn’t have to ask. It didn’t work out with that man (my fault, wasn’t ready for something) but the old dude came back in my life and he thinks I’m gonna allow that trash behavior. I don’t wanna have to ask or beg a man to treat me well and now that I’ve been with a man who showed me what I deserved, I know to expect nothing else. Old dude is old news. He wants me now that I don’t want him and I’m better, happier and prospering. This video came at an excellent time. Thank you.
call the nice guy back..lol
Ronda S I wish lol but he had a new girlfriend within us splitting after 2 days. I’m not mad at him though. I shouldn’t have gotten into a (wonderful) relationship I wasn’t ready for. He came in wanting serious and I wanted to forget the old flame. So he’s with someone that truly makes him happy, he deserves it. I’m grateful that he showed me what I deserve in a man, I’ve never been with such a nice, honest person before. Now I understand the qualities that I truly value. Dating for me was brand new but I’m learning. Right now I’m enjoying my single life though lol not rushing anything. Putting myself first so the next man knows his only competition is with my peace of mind and solitude.
@@monicanicole738 I feel I relate!
You've been through a lot
By your words I think you like the old ways. You must enjoy cooking and cleaning for him for sure.
Dating has too many games... I can't, I'm done!
Never do Netflix and chill. It’s lazy and doesn’t require any effort on either party’s side. This man is brilliant and spot on every time . TY.
I did that with the last guy I ever met, never again.
If you're confused on how a guy feels about, this video answered that question. Short and sweet to the point, hands down - super truthful. Thank you!! I communicated this to a guy who is being lazy with dates, texts, talking, time -I told him I'll never ever have sex with you if you keep this minimal effort up. He just sat there, got quiet, and hugged me. As he walked out the door, he turned around and said, by the way I'll start to take you and have a good day sweetie. He left and it's been 3 days, we haven't talked, he hasn't called, and I'm ok with that. I've never had sex with him and I walked in my truth, now what he chooses to do with that is on him.I'm a woman of high value and I will continue to walk and be honored in that. One day, an amazing guy will love, honor, and respect that.
“Lower effort guys are just Telegraphing how dull a long term relationship with them would be so you don’t have to waste 6 months to find out that they suck” geeesshhhh👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Sounds like wishful thinking. Stay salty guys don’t care enough to be with you.
Exactly just a sneak preview of what's to come
This video came right on time, grateful for learning from my past mistakes. It's nothing wrong with setting standards if he can't live up to it then I move on.
Damn, I needed to hear this right now today & this weekend! And he just made this video yesterday. Peace
It worries me that many topics you talk about seem eye openers to many.... This should be natural. Btw ladies, don't just watch this to change yourself, but also think about how to raise a girl when you get one.
Luc Hofe what worries me is this behavior in men is natural. If it were to women then men would do something else because this wouldn’t work. Perhaps we should raise our sons to participate in sanity so to speak.
Sorry to say we can't blame fatherless homes only....i grew up in a home with a father who refered to my twin sister and i as black and ugly...my two younger fair skinned sisters were his prize....it took years of therapy to shut down those hateful words in my head...my twin and i both have low selfesteem issues....i learned these things that Kev is preaching late in life after putting myself with the wrong type of men....its hard to demand good treatment from a man when you genuinely don't believe that you deserve it....sad to say...when i was able to confront my dad as an adult....he remains unapologetic....saying he was preparing us for the real world...he does not understand that his role was to be our first example and protector of said world....I am thankful to Kev and share his message to my girlfriends.
Delores Dyer I’m sorry you had to go through that. I watched my brother have all the freedom he wanted growing up, while I wasn’t allowed to do anything. My father didn’t even allow me to skip the 6th grade and go to 7th at my school’s suggestion. Never being good enough is exactly what men play off of. That’s not natural, or game, that’s twisted and abusive.
And some here, stop blaming men please. (Im not talking about criminal behaviour). Men can't do this if you're not open to it. Everyone tries to get everything the easiest way, even women. Whether it be for a relationship, work or buying stuff. Would you buy a Rolex worth 10.000 dollars and pay 10.000 if you can get it for 100 dollars? NO. I'm a female by the way.
It is because this isn’t taught in the white culture that’s why so many people of my race are misguided and turn out to be pieces of shit. I had God open my eyes and called me to create content to guide and enlighten others. I hope I can help a larger audience of people some day
This information is true in my experience. I "come on" to the guy. I share my true self. I talk about traveling together etc (I see now, what I'm doing is wrong). Im unlucky in love. Other women I know, run mental games, lie, cheat... and always have a man.
Penny Lovelace my sentiments exactly!!! I do the same as you and never had a successful relationship. However, I know people who play nothing but games and always have a man and a good man at that.
@@crystaldoss9217 ..... Crystal... I know girl. But I'm not going to (switch up) thou. Maybe there's someone still out there for us that aint about those games. He need to come on thou!😂
Penny Lovelace girllll! I just told someone that God didn’t make me to be single, but my man need to bring he slow self on here. I decree and declare that Penny and myself will get our men who will love us unconditionally and adore us and love us as much as we love them. In Jesus Name. Amen!!!!
@@crystaldoss9217 ... . Our way aint working. God choose the man YOU have for us. We want Real Love. That LAST forever kind of Love. A man who manages our goodness and our flaws. We got so much Love & Respect give. Work it out for us so PROPER, that we forgot our heart was ever broken. He would be our help meet, our friend and Life Partner. In Jesus Name, Amen🌷
Penny Lovelace Amen!!!!
I think imma say single forever, because guys are too complicated for me. 🙅
I like the fro! Also I don’t believe in pursuing men anyhow, very good points!! I agree let the guy earn his time with you✅🌺
Wow entitled much
StorytimewithmissTy indeed. Men are natural hunters who go after what they want.
You are the reason I am happily married ❤️ I used to watch you and I developed self love and found the one! I hope my single friends follow your channel
Glad to hear about your evolution!🙌🏾🙌🏾
Finally...someone giving great information without any profanity in sight!
You are the last real man on earth. Your wife is a very lucky lady! ✌
I been saying this for 3 years
Add DERRICK JAX
True
Super lucky!
@@dialysisdiva7430 this didn’t age well lol
Letting go can be brutal but once you do a huge weight will be lifted off. Dealing with a low effort guy like i have is the easiest way to make your self esteem lower and sense of self without even realizing until it’s too late.
I appreciate your logic, you don’t give women erroneous advice, it’s purposeful! I think that will keep setting you a part from the other men on here. 👏🏽👏🏽 Others are encouraging men to be manipulative and play games. You’re encouraging mature and honest relationships women can apply long-term. ✊🏽
Amen. Kev also holds US responsible as women for our actions. I don't see alot of that either.
Wow I felt this so hard... this is why I’m learning if they show their true colors early on, I do not want them in my life at all.. because lack of effort in the beginning won’t get better 👍🏼
Fourteen men and one pick me chick/hater didn't like this video because the rest of us are appreciative for it. Thank you for being an intelligent, respectful, kind and classy man by helping women who may not have been given this information while growing up or need to reset their standards later in life. I've always been pretty decent but the company I used to keep didn't and I think I lost focus of my own standards. It's always good to have a reminder. Your mother must be a good and proud woman and the same with your significant other. All the best Kevin Hicks.
I appreciate your kind words. I find it amusing that people think their hate makes a difference 😂 I do this for people who need it. Those with open ears. Thank you so much for watching.
My mistake has been being too transparent about not talking to other guys and putting more importance on him. Falling back has gotten me more contact of late but I'm not satisfied with just that. I have shifted my focus to myself and manifesting. So while I still like him as a person I want more energy and effort from him for me to up the energy and effort I'm giving him. You give me minimal that's what you get from me
Well, Kev, you'd be really proud of me right now. I just politely set my standards to an otherwise decent, but low-effort guy. When he was like, "Yeah, planning dates feels like a chore, it's just going to be 'let's pick a day and then wing it'" I politely told him that doesn't work for me and wished him well.
You're right on time with this video. Just last week I was invited to lazy dates over text messages. Neither one of those men ever called me, they only sent text messages. My friend actually told me that I was OVERTHINKING the situations. I was starting to believe it.
Thank u for this video and confirmation ❤️.
same. and this "friend" told me,sometimes you gotta take what you can get. nah,I don't.
@@vdaniela3 Your so-called friend is a scrape. U need to drop her(or him) IMMEDIATELY. Surround yourself with loving and positive people. U deserve to be respected and treated how u want. Don't let anyone tell u different.
We talked about meeting up(like you mentioned in the video " a lazy date" ) he even said "calling it a date puts pressure" 🙄, he never called me on the phone either actually 😂 I decided to cancel the date when he left me hanging for a whole day continues conversation the next day no acknowledgement or anything and I was like you left me hanging when we where talking about something important he then says "I was out with my friend I don't look at my phone" and I sat there like why I'm I entertaining a f boy again after he dropped" oh but I was looking forward to seeing you"" I was like rigghht" and deleted his number. Ladies know your worth!if his putting minimal effort when yall are just talking that's exactly how he'll treat you in the relationship period💯
Hey Kev! I definitely agree with you when you say that you gotta train a man how to treat you. I believe, that us woman have to be assertive in what we will tolerate in a relationship. Btw - The fro is a good look on you!
That fro just made my black pride overflow
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾💪🏾💪🏾✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾👑👑👑👑👑👑 🏴🖤
@@KevHick ♠♣✔✔🖤🖤🖤
🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙏🏿👑💞💞✊🏿
I ended up running into a guy who is actually showing no effort at getting to know me but then whenever they message me they tell me they want to hang out but they only want to come and hang out at my place and they claim they want to watch movies. but they've had plenty of chances to actually hang out with me whenever I was out and about when it was beautiful outside. So I just been ghosting that person. because he's already proved that all he is after is sex and sex only. and I have actually messaged him back saying well you keep telling me you want to hang out with me but you've had numerous chances to come and hang out with me whenever I was out and about enjoying the beautiful weather and you never even showed so I actually told him I'm not even going to try because you're not even trying. in other words if a man is not willing to try to get to know you and actually come and hang out with you whenever you tell them that you actually are wanting to hang out with them and tell them exactly where you are and they don't show up and then they wait until three or four days later to get back to you they're not worth you wasting your time on them.
Some of these guys go into these situations with "no" intentions to go any further from jump, so it wouldn't matter, in some cases, what she does or doesn't do; their goal is to provoke the woman to chase them....You just have to learn the real character of the dude cause some of them are a waste of time no matter what.
Truth!!!!!!
Exactly
Thanks Kev
I was starting to doubt wether I was doing the right thing because no sooner I show or tell a guy want I want in a relationship, they take off and brand me as too difficult. I was met a guy online at first he was calling and texting, no sooner than he felt he has secured my attention, his messages became scanty and to worsen the issue, he determine when you can text or call. So I wrote and send a comprehensive msg to him telling him that his communication style does not resonate with me and he took offense and left
I truly think I'm cursed I'm single and I hate it I just feel men don't even want me ...all I hear is oh your so pretty and your funny and you got a Great personality THEN WTF IS THE PROBLEM
😢😢 I know the feeling
Yes!!!! I know right??!!!
Me too
They’re just being nice.
One more point if he attempts to jump into bed with you quickly he doesn't think highly of himself , that's a problem
hes a man ho and will be on to the next quick.
It’s kind of annoying that we have to do all that to keep a man interested. I rather be single 😂💀
I agree, it's like studying to win a test. I'd rather not do all this research.
Even if a woman does not chase, when he is done, he is done. Never chase. Ever.
This all sounds like games. I love Kev Hicks no doubt. But it’s just frustrating to hear that relationships need to be this complicated.
Literally was thinking that lol. Im over it smh 🙅
😂😂😂 right
Relationships =effort/work
I love your afro and I learned to stay single this year and probably 2020.
TheSnowFoxParty same
Kev I can't thank you enough for how much valuable info you share with us ladies on here. We need more men like you. Thank you for helping us to stop wasting our time on losers.
Is exhausting! I rather be alone then to deal with all this.
This video came up just as I was feeling down about a man I was about too text him,listening to this video reminded me that im a boss ass b#tch! I deserve better! And he does all the things listed in this video.thank you for snapping me out of doing something I'm gonna regret,I feel amazing again I'm the boss lol.thank you.x
Whoever he is, he ain't worth it.
Yes, "NEVER be afraid to scare a man off with your standards !"
Thanks for this video Kev! I decided since my last situation-ship to show Mr. Minimal Effort to the door promptly after his arrival.
Lately, I'm constantly coming across men who act like they want me to chase them😒I'm like ok if I call/text him & he DOESN'T respond then I back off..Next thing I know 3-7 days+ go by with no contact then when he decides to show up(with attitude)He ALWAYS blames me like I did something wrong. Guilt tripping talking bout I abandoned him/I'm so mean/cold-blooded etc..He NEVER acknowledges his lack of effort😡
Kev, from the bottom of my heart -Thank youu!!!!!!!❤❤❤
I needed this.... I stay meeting drip drop male communicators. 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Someone who's working for my love, not who's working for my lust. Roll on pt 2....
I so appreciate your videos. They're real and straight to the point. You hold both sides, of a relationship, accountable for their behaviors.
Thank you for your truthful advice Kev! Literally I don't understand how a person can be THIS accurate! Again, thank you so much for your valuable knowledge, I plan to use all of your videos as resources to learn and grow ❤ :)
Heavily packed Kev, on point. I appreciate.
Great content as always. I've always had high standards and have been told I wouldn't get a man that way. I'd rather wait for someone that can meet them, than settle for Mr. Minimal Effort like the same women who criticized me do. Can't wait for part 2. And when is the next live chat? I missed the last one.
Your advice is absolutely the best. There are some really great relationship coaches and you are definitely one of them. Love your channel. Thank you.
Love Love Love!! Waiting for part 2. Wish we could see more of you! And since everyone is commenting on your hair I feel you can rock either way! 😉
This chasing happens a lot on Facebook. It's sad. You gotta have distance even on social media.
If you post up seductive pictures they will only pursue you for sex because that is what you are giving out. By your seductive pics you are saying " come sex me". Nothing is wrong with a woman who wants to look nice, but do you really have to take pics and post it online. You can take pics. The problem is when you post it for likes. For the men who just want sex they will gravitate towards you more. For the men who are looking for a woman with standards they will take one look at you and forget about you, even if they were considering you as a potential partner
Facebook is a social media site where you talk to ppl you trust, not for posting pics, even if they allow it.
@@chelsieromero4874 Posting Pics...lol.... Everyone knows that's what instagram is for lol!!!
@@chelsieromero4874 its so typical these days tho., esp. w/the young ppl....so glad I'm not one of them, lol. this one young girls always posting the most sleazy stuff, its embarrassing...then guys comment the same stuff and shes like what? I dont know you. then make it private!! clearly she wants the attention though. idk any guy that would wanna date someone like that (esp. having 2 young kids w/2 diff. dads lol, but lo and behold, she finally nabbed a guy. im sure that will work out...lol.
@@angelataylor7799 So true! I'm not one of them either. It's beautiful to be different and set your own rules instead of giving in to the norm.
Yesss all of this!!! I try to tell some of my friends this stuff all the time. Yes I had to learn from being young and dumb but now at 30, I don't take no shit at all lol. Probably why I am still single as soon as I see red flags during the talking stage I am out of there.
Damn, I shole needed THAT! where has this been my whole life?🤦🏼 Thank you so much for putting us on 👍🏼
ugh. I really needed this like forever ago. You're so awesome. thank you
You’re awesome, man. I love your videos. You always have fantastic perspectives and I really appreciate you.
This guy is so well spoken I love hearing him give such great advice
you are a goddamn saint!! to me you seem so genuine and not at all like those fake guru men clickbaiting you with “NEVER say this to a man you want a relationship with” type of bullshit. seems like you just really know the psychology of relationships and that you genuinely care and hope for women to have happy lives and happy relationships. your advice resonates so much within me, and by hearing your messages i seriously come to realise how much of a doormat ive really been. the lazy dates, mothering depressing guys, having sex too fast and under disrespectful circumstances. yet when you speak, it doesn’t feel like critiscism, because you radiate such empathy. i really wish you the best, honestly, and thanks a thousand times for these valuable insights. you’re helping more people than you could ever imagine
Thank You for your Time Kevin Hicks! I LOVE your content and am patiently waiting for part 2! ♡ ☆
Yooo....that dinner before dessert analogy though...GOOD ONE KEV
And just like that I became the newest subscriber. Thank you for this... definitely opened my eyes.
So very well spoken and to the real point. I love it and its also hard to hear knowing the uphill battle
This is a timely video ❤.Thankyou Kev,your videos have really impacted my life for the better and this is by far my favorite video.Looking forward to part 2💃
I WISH I came across this before the recent guy I dated. I unfortunately grew attached to him emotionally and letting him go due to his inconsistencies and hot and cold behavior was very hard. I see now that I definitely pursued when he slowed down. Kept on asking myself what I did and it caused me to reach out to him. Ahhhh, it really hurts. I guess I know better now.
I believe everything said here. Coming from a man’s point of view it’s so clear. It hurt having had some of the experiences mentioned but it’s useful to know why it turned out that way.
Awesome video 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Best line, “train a man on how to treat you”.
Very good content! You hit it on the nail. I had my daughter listen to this. Thx Kev!
The best THING I'M DOING IS STAYING SINGLE FOR A LONG TIME DON'T NEED A HEADACHE WITH THESE NO GOOD JOKERS IM BETTER OFF ALONE BY MYSELF😘😘😘
I needed to hear this!!! Thank you
Thanks Kev. Definitely will be putting this into practice.
Wow I’ve seen this video several times and finally watched it. It’s great. Good work!
Hey Kev another winning video. Ladies it's okay to say no. Find your voice.
Thank you for teaching women standards and thank you that with your videos you made me give up on a super minimal effort emotionally unavailable type of guy, that I persistently was seeing the good in. I no longer care what his case is - just dysfunctional or a player type because I get nothing out of it. ME first. Thank you once again and as many people said already - really great afro!
Amazing video!! I’ve listened to it many times and now I listen to it daily.
I swear I watched 4 videos and applied your advice and pum!!! Instant change it’s impressive you are wiseeee man!!!
I suspected my husband always texting a lady on his phone , We’ve been married for 18 years, we’ve both been happy together until recently when he switched side and I found out he has been cheating .I explained my story to a colleague at work then she introduced me to this genuine hacker, Darkwebprohacker who gave me access to his phone , I had complete access to his phone right on my own device and I could see all his activities for the past 2years and also have access to new notifications, his text messages, Facebook messages,location, call logs, and I found out my husband was also flirting on dating sites..I love my husband a lot and I still don’t understand why he betrayed me, I have been a good hardworking wife and never for once cheated on him. I tracked him down and found out he was always going to sleep in another woman’s house with me thinking my husband is always at work for night shift. You can contact this great hacker who helped me found out the truth about my husband at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or Whats app +17076225057 or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into his phone without even touching his phone.I have enough evidence against my husband and I am thinking of Filing for divorce.I want advice if I should give him another chance or let go ?We have 2 kids together
, It's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger
Really love your advice. They really help me Kevin. I refer to you as my virtual brother !😊thank you soo much!
Thanks for another great upload!
Your logic and insight is NECESSARY before a date or before a text. Thank you 🙏🏼
Hey, I like how you explain things. I hope your channel is still up 5 years from now when I begin coaching my daughter on handling certain realities in life.
I was watching your ole videos you finally uploaded 🙏🏼
Hey Kev... loving the fro, I’m digging it ✊🏾 🤣
☆Competition Drives Performance☆ Love It💞 You're a godsend Kev!!!
You have the BEST advice and then you crack me up with what you write. I just love you so much