that part‼️ that's exactly what i always say. people who want you around will treat you like they want to be around you. they'll keep you around, and they won't let anything come between you and them ❤
@@roser8911 Sooo true. I see the 2 different energies between my self centered ex of almost 12 years and my current bf Ed of just 7 months. Ed loves me and shows me every day by his actions and words. i'm 60 and this is the first time in my life that I've been treated well by a man.
Me too. I was discarded 2 weeks ago, one hour after he told me I was the love of his life and how he wanted to retire with me. I went to therapy after days of wishing I was dead. I could barely even move. Now I am better, slowly. I still miss him a lot, our conversations and the deep happiness I felt I his company. But I have finally also reached a point of knowing: I can never trust him, if I take him back it will only be a question of months before it happens again. Only weak and insecure people do this to their partner
Brian is the big brother we all wish we had that sits us down, tells us the truth about that guy that didn't deserve us or appreciate our worth and even when our hearts are breaking makes us smile and have hope again. I listened to him two years ago when my dreams of being with the person I loved just weren't coming true. I did the breakup course I listened to Brian when he said he wasn't the guy for you, if he was, he would not have let you go. I went no contact. I got on with life. Two months later I met the love of my life. Every morning I wake up, have coffee with this man that is in love with me, devoted to me and makes me smile every day, I think I'm so grateful I have him. I'm so grateful I listened to Brian and didn't get stuck trying to force something that would never have worked. I love your work Brian! Keep doing what you do best ❤
He's 100% correct. I went absolutely No Contact for a year with my ex- he returned on a Special Occasion day. He said, "im sorry i hurt you." and that's it. No deep, meaningful explanation of ALL of the emotionally abusive things he said and did- like the Silent Treatment countless times, withholding effection on purpose as punishment, multiple Discards, etc. I didnt believe he was remorseful at all- but I forgave him. Not for HIM- for my OWN mental health. He then had the audacity, in that moment- to act like I STILL wanted to be with him- and he said, "I can't give you what you want." I was completely repulsed. Here was this man- who returned ONLY to act like he was rejecting me AGAIN. I called him a snake and blocked him. Once you know your worth- you realize how much TIME you've wasted on someone, whe truly didnt care about you, and only USED you, to benefit THEM.
@@danicaharley6273 That's how I truly felt too. I've learned so much though, over these past couple of years. I've grown, and changed so much from this experience. There's no more anger, or sadness on my end. I pray he finds peace somehow. He was loved very much.
I had a different reaction. When I finally realized I wasn't being valued and that his preferences lay in a married woman, I didn't continue to love him. My emotions went to absolute disgust for him, a sense of betrayal and utter disgust.
I'm taking a break from all relationships to reset and find myself again. I can feel the void and the scary unknown. My goal is to be comfortable and confident just being single. When I feel ready for a new relationship, hopefully, I will be a better, happier, and more secure partner to be with.
I've been doing this since the beginning of this year...it's peaceful and have tike for myself that I never had when trying so hard to make my marriage work, raise my children and career. Still working a stressful job, but it's soooo nice going home after work and doing whatever I want. May do another year, who knows? Best wishes to you in your journey...take time for you. You won't regret it❤️🩹🙏
Same here... except my 'break' is going on 4.5 years. 🤣 I'm 57, never married, nearly every serious bf has cheated on me. I just feel done with dating, but I still have a sliver of hope I'll meet the right guy someday.
I ended it after being strung along. I said I was letting him go, got stuff off my chest which was not so nice things and then went NC. I felt better the first month or two, then I felt worse. It’s true that grief is not linear. Thank you for your content. ❤
Love yourself always more than a man. Never put someone first, when all you are to them is an option. Learn the lesson and forgive yourself. You need real love.
He did string me along, for 17 months. Not 17 years luckily. Haha. It is hard when we find someone who offers us something we really want that seemed possible and viable at last, then they take it away abruptly for no good reason. It makes us question ourselves as to why, when we should always have been questing their behaviour patterns. And why they are on repeat with many ladies.
@Musicisthelanguageoflove It's so hard, once you come to the reality that you were just strung along and used. BUT- here's the bright side. You now know the immediate signs of a player. You know what lovebombing looks like- and the sneaky little phrases players will say to make you THINK they are serious about you, like, "let's just take things slow..." That phrase, right there... IMMEDIATE red flag for me now. It's a sign of a man- who just wants to USE you physically- but wants absolutely NO emotional connection with you. He ONLY wants to, "take things slow"- so he can USE you physically, for as long as possible.
@@nicolesiemens8727 Why did allow it? It's on us ladies to let go of any relationship that isn't serving us and also to do our own inner work! We can't change anyone else ... only ourselves 😃
NC is not the key but it’s important. List his bad points and read it everyday. List the ways he hurt you big and small. Read it everyday! That’s your closure. Pick a guy with very few dealbreakers for you.
@mariefricchione437 I did that recently! I present texts from July 4th to about August 24th or so of daily reminders of why I left, need to stay gone, what he did. It helps.
@travelchannel304 exactly. And that's the problem- with the kind of man Brian is describing in this video. They INTENTIONALLY don't end ANY relationships- and, "want to be friends"- in order that you will still have SEX with them- but no emotional attachment. You have to go No Contact and never speak to them again once you realize you're dealing with a man like this. You don't need closure- you just need to move on. You'll never know how many women they've been with- so WHY would you sink anymore time into them?
A guy stringed me along for 8 months, pretending to have serious intentions but still never wanted to commit. I didn’t meet his family or friends. I felt like i always had to prove myself to be worthy. My self value went down alot during this period because i felt i wasn’t good enough. Now this guy has started to contact me again, wanting to “help” me with things but i feel like he only wants to get inside my pants again. 😂
@@lisabell2134Sounds familiar. Face it, he wants to help himself only, not you. You are plenty Good Enough, he is Not. Don't give him the time of day. He is a Time waster, Just move on.
The Guy I was with never introduced me to his "inner circle" (family and friends) either. He was 58. I am 62 and don't have much in the way of that myself. But I tried to introduce him to who I could and called him "my boyfriend" since that's what we were. He never introduced me to anyone important to him. He had a niece and her Mom he was close to. But I never met him. Then once his nieces son came over and he just said "Austin this is ..." but no label after that. I should have taken that as a red flag but didn't. Looking bad, it makes me angry as I can see now how much he was using me to keep his power on (his power was in my name) something about his ex-wife messing up things for him. He could have taken care of it but didn't. He kept everything a "secret" for example a sheriff here was "supposed" to be his uncle. But I went on "Truthfinders" and I saw no mention of that Sheriff being his Uncle. Every word that came out of his mouth was a lie and I put up with it for almost four years.
Usually,I dont comment any video.Your video has moved me so much that after watching your video,i immedaitely wanted to comment. I wanted to stay away from the person,due to whom I am facing all these.Today,i am leaving him.Wish me luck for my future
I broke up with him today. 8 weeks no contact (I felt miserable), yesterday I called him out. He apologized and said "I know, I'm the problem. I don't want to mess it up." And still managed to make it worse. Now he's blocked and I am so relieved.
Oh Brian Ur Hilarious😂😂😂 DELETE DELETE DELETE 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ “The Titanic” Went NC 4 years ago, best thing I ever could have done for “MY PEACE” ❤️ Thank You & Take Care Always ❤️💕❤️
The bottom line, though is staying with someone out of fear of being alone is a no-win situation. It wasn't until I was happy with myself and was perfectly fine being alone that I found the love of my life. ✨💖✨
It hurts when he was so sure about me, he did his best to be together despite distance then later on changed his mind about committing and turning into an avoidant, discarded our connection, rejects me and leaves. But i don’t hate him cauz i saw a wounded man,i did accept him with his complicated past. Now he made the decision for me that i should walk away. It’s his loss.. he’ll realise it one day.
Pretty much experienced the same situation 💔 It's especially hard when you empathize with his inner child and deep wounds, like despite how cruel and cold he became, you can understand why, and somehow love even the darkest parts of him. Hoping they grow in time, but now it's no longer our burden. Sending good vibes ❤
@@DuskDaimon i feel you 💯🫶🏻 thank you for the support, i hope they’ll do the work and eventually realise what they missed. Meanwhile everything happens for a reason so let’s move on and heal quietly ✨
Everything was fine until i found out he has feelings for my sis and he told me he still loves me and wants to keep our relationship, i didn't take that shit so I ended things, immediately he started pursuing my sis. I realized I was an option all along. He probably don't even know what love is, and I'm happy i didn't lose anything I'm at the right place with the right people, My Family 😊
I just acknowledge feelings are illogical and I value logic. I let logic dictate my decisions. Eventually my feelings come around. I've never gone no contact. Still good friends with some of my ex's and most of my crushes. Of course mourning the loss of the future I thought was to pass hurts. Cry it out, accept it, and embrace the idea there's something better for both of us to come.
Brian you hit the nail on the head, Hollywood is just a fantasy not real life but women tend to think relationships are like Hollywood, we need to wake up and move on, like a man does….i always remember the fuc--up stuff and never want to see or hear from them again
Thank you Brian for such a good video. I still don't understand why men make women go through all these things. Relationships shouldn't be as complicated. However, we are living in a world where most relationships are one sided and in most cases , women love and give the most. It's so heartbreaking...😢
And I don't understand why women make men go through these things. This is a truly great video, I would love to find an AI to flip the genders on all of his words because this is exactly what I am struggling with now. I am a (naïve) 70 year old, long married, widower, and she is 71 with a lifelong history of failed dysfunctional relationships, and she taught me some very valuable and extremely painful lessons, but I foolishly, over the course of a year let myself fall in love. Eventually I came to realize that while I wanted a long-term stable loving relationship, she only ever wanted an on-call escort, as in "easy, with no effort" required. Ironically, if I could have had, or learn to have, that same shallow, superficial desire, everything would be hunky-dory.
Because we let them.. thinking that yea..we are finally in a relationship..with a man who loves us and can complete us and make us whole. But it's not true. We are already complete and whole without a man. I'm 62 and yet another failed relationship. I think I have had enough. I often wonder if people are meant to mate for life because of such a high divorce rate.
@@gret9815 Trust me it gets better with time. I went through a breakup after 10 years. I thought I would never get over him. 10 years later.. I don’t remember the feelings I had for that person. Best lesson is that you will look back and be glad you didn’t go back. Be strong and know that you will be fine. You’re beautiful and you deserve to be happy. Stay strong !
It hurts so much, but get moving with your own life, get his breakup course. Look through his old videos and listen listen listen, he's done so much that will help you. Hang in there, better days are ahead!!
This is exactly my situation - which is why I was fortunate to be able to resign and start a new job elsewhere. It's been 6 months of zero contact, but I'm still crying over having fallen in love so deeply (nothing happened between us, but he did let me know that he also had feelings for me. However, I had to completely let it go). I empathize with your situation and how incredibly stressful it is. I had to take daily Tylenol to numb the acute vulnerability and stress
I had same situation and left the job!! First time happened to me to fall in love so deeply with someone at work. Hated myself for being so vulnerable and weak 😢 I miss him terribly, though, and have not gotten over him. It's 6 months now that I left the job...loved the job but couldn't focus and work together.
istg i love the way you talk the most. you are so funny and you tell the truths just in the right way. the best video i've ever watched on breakups so far. thank you so much!!
I started writing a journal focused only on the relationship I wanted to end, so every time I thought it was a good idea to keep on it just read about the situation in my own words. It worked fine
Women all over the world are getting the message that our assumptions that (most) men (especially the ones we chose to date) are worthwhile dating material, is just flat out wrong. We're becoming versed in emotional intelligence.... we see how the the dating culture has made us primed to blame ourselves (!!!) for men who are just so-so, subpar and even worse - and we should have passed on most of them after just a 'Hello'. Instead, we learned we should do more, be more, and quite frankly if we are completely focused upon what we need to do or feel we should be doing, rather than focused on the man and his behavior vis-a-vis us, and what HE is all about - if that is happening in the context of dating that person, well it's time to say goodbye, because if you are thinking it's all on you as to how the relationship goes, then you are dating someone who doesn't care all that much. Women get caught up in the trap of taking the relationship SO seriously - even after it ended. You will often read women say, 'it still hurts' and 'this breakup is killing me' etc etc. Ladies, he's not all that. Open your eyes - you didn't lose anything that was worth more than junk jewelry, I promise you. You certainly didn't lose anything that was meant for you, which also means it wasn't anything that was worthwhile - not worthwhile for you. And since it wasn't meant for you, take license and just call it for what it is - junk. You owe it to yourself to give yourself more respect and as for that other person, you need to see them with clarity and someone treating you poorly is NOT an amazing person.
I hope to one day meet one of these women that you are describing, that take the relationship seriously, instead of just a fun game to play. Major lesson: ignore her words if her behavior is showing something different.
They'll think about you when they're going through a break up themselves however by then we already moved on with our lives. It doesn't matter how strong the feelings are, they made their choice. It hurts but life has to go on
I'm Day 12 today. May the Lord God wrap His arms of love and comfort around you and fill you with His peace. (I'd have gone mad without His comfort and love).
Brian, you REALLY have a way of lazer stamping into (my) ppl’s minds with your A#1 Analogies!…The “sitting on a train” was Priceless & im going to remember that 1 as it’s SO easy to imagine myself just sitting there & open to someone who quite possibly could be kind & interesting & might plop down right next to me!…& the other I’d already envisioned of “bettering myself” post “ding-dong” & when we run into ea other again, his mouth will simply drop…Don’t forget that Very Last & Best Part!….Thanks for “being” as you’re IMMENSELY HELPFUL….& I sense Very Kind & your Sage Knowledge & Advice is coming from a Really-good place…God Bless, Hermano💃🏻
There is someone I watch who does “ Skits” wherein he plays different characters, and one, the female uses a “ Remote Control “ . CUTE !!! I like your concept of the “ Delete Button “ and I agree with all that you have said. I will have to reinforce these words of yours by listening to this video again at another time. I was going to say something else but I have somehow forgotten it ; probably just like he had apparently “ forgotten “ me which made me recall that he had once said to someone “ I gotta get something out of it...” You are absolutely correct in saying that if we pay close attention to the things that they say, which is difficult to do when one is wrapped up in the moment; however, upon close reflection of the words they do speak to others conveys volumes that we somehow overlooked through the Rose colored , heart shaped glasses that we missed before. I recently found myself asking myself,” Why did he not agree to meeting with me when that’s all that I asked for from him ? He passed up a chance to meet me and get to know me and allow me to be able to know him. So, I suppose he spoke the truth to me when he said that he was “ No good.” I thought at first that he was putting himself down verbally so I said,” Well , if you are No Good , I am Too Good. I have to feel good about myself and have a high sense of self esteem ( especially since the last relationship I was in I was disrespected and abused.) You’re right about not hating the other individual, it’s his loss not mine. Why couldn’t he see what the “ Fakers” see who respond to me via his channel? Unless they all have the same “ scheme in mind “ to get something out of it. Which tells me They really are “ NO GOOD “ . Thank you for helping me clear away the nebulous cloud of confusion that I have somehow deluded myself into thinking. ( It hasn’t been a total waste of time as I have focused on my education and my children. Now, I am learning “ How to Focus on Myself. “ ) 👍👍🙏💜🦁✨✝️ 12:25
Exactly. I Long for peace. The peace of God. - My imagination worked overtime over a situation which never had a future. A mistake of my mind for which I paid an enormous emotional ,psychological and material price.
You speak French and Flemish? Cool! So... Informative, valuable content with great humor and a light touch - while also a linguist 🥰 Thank you. I find your content soothing, helpful and entertaining (a great mix). All the best from BC Canada.
This is excellent advice. I like that you suggest doing something positive for one’s self. Also thinking of our older self is great, I have done that and it puts things into perspective. No contact is very helpful. And thinking of the reasons why the ex broke it off also helps a lot. One of your best videos. I have bought your books 😊 Thank you!
Great video Brian I have good days and bad days I loved someone 13 years for someone that use me and didn't care about me and weirdly enough we weren't in a relationship. It's taken me years but slowly and surely I'm moving on and it wasn't possible for me because I have unconditional love no matter what he did to me I always loved him. Once I started to care about me and realized my potential that I deserve love... moving on happened a little bit over time
This is so timely! I am around a place where my ex and I traveled so I had nostalgia. Something in me told me to check UA-cam and I came across your video. Thank you for your brotherly instruction!
I am having a hard time though on the 1-about “not hating him”….Moments when I can let grace in my heart, it feels good but then I say to myself: “But he’s SUCH a rat stinker & how he treated me” & I HAVE TO HATE him again as THAT feels so right to me! But I’m trying as you’re right, how Delightful to just not feel anythg for him at all BECAUSE he doesn’t deserve 1 more second of my time & I’ve been able to “Slay the Beast” of him …Got it & I’ll try to stay the course!!☘️
Thank you for this advice. I'm grateful to have come across this video because one bite of wisdom you shared herein made me realize that even seeking out and digesting such content has been keeping that emotional tether in place and misplacing my time and energy towards anything even adjacent to him, when I should be using it to watch content that will help expand a skill set or soothe me in a healthy way or just make me laugh. Too much of myself and my time was wasted pouring into a person who has demonstrated their disinterested in, if not incapacity to, do anything other than take, deplete and do harm all while playing victim. I'm done and while this info has been beyond valuable and I've been working to sever this tie for a full gestation period at this point, I'm ready to put the final nail in the coffin and lay my facades about that person to rest once and for all. Silver lining I've met an actual good guy and if not for enduring that agonizing ordeal, I may never have learned the difference
Thank you Brian. After years of sufferings I realize the very good feeling that I do not love him at all anymore. All my feelings like love and hate were dissapeared for him. It is gone👍😊 Now I am completely free from him.
HI Brian, someone is using your content and I can't report it myself because I'm not you nor your lawyer! It's your video "When an Emotionally BROKEN Man is Using a Woman, He’ll Show These Signs!" (there may be others) only translated to French, but exact words even to the exact same jokes. The video is "Ces signes montrent qu’un homme émotionnellement brisé VEUT VOUS UTILISER" by the channel "vision stoïcienne".
Hi Brian, I don't know you , but i have to say you are hilarious and I love you for that reason, I love anyone that makes me laugh, brilliant and funny.Thanks for the advice and laughter.
Good tips, often you both had a sense it wasn't happening for whatever reason.. timing, hung-up on the ex, not that compatible, etc. It's just that the guy took the reins and did it; made you feel dispensable plus the ego smack, feels icky. Then the void and loneliness sets in, can make you linger on the one who left. In the future, don't wait too long on a relationship stuck in neutral or w/o a mutual buzz. Be the first to leave and you'll feel more in control. Also, is lopsided for women, are bio programmed to attach (necessary b/c they hv babies) and so suffer more - need to self protect. I wish men would respect that innate quality instead of exploiting it for personal gain.
i currently do not have means to move out on my own. Also, 2 children in homeschool. The man i married definitely benegits from my cleaning, cooking, stuff i buy. i was thinking the other day, why does he seem to be rewarded and i punished. I just feel used again... and stuck.
Hi Brian it's been a while since I watched your videos. This video popped up in my UA-cam feed so I felt guided towards it. Thank you this is helpful for me 😊😇💖🙏.
he could've been stringing you along for years ....good thing it was only for months?! u_ u .... sorry this is a great video, I'm just in such a negative mindframe and want my months back ... .and I just don't like it when a man paints a picture of commitment then backs off, when I didn't even ask for it. :( ....great advice on moving on with hobbies and self improvement projects. :) I needed to hear that!
Thank you Geert. The Lord God bless you. I needed this insight and encouragement today. I'm on Day 12 of no contact, and my brain is feeling the dopamine withdrawal today.
If someone truly values and wants you in their life… they will never put themselves in a position to lose you. So it’s all about his ego games.
True😢
that part‼️ that's exactly what i always say. people who want you around will treat you like they want to be around you. they'll keep you around, and they won't let anything come between you and them ❤
@@roser8911 Sooo true. I see the 2 different energies between my self centered ex of almost 12 years and my current bf Ed of just 7 months. Ed loves me and shows me every day by his actions and words. i'm 60 and this is the first time in my life that I've been treated well by a man.
@@roser8911 WHAT IF men are responding to how us women treat them??! Check out Alison Armstrong's work (The Queen's Code) 👑.
Unless they're an alcoholic
"He's not the right guy for you, otherwise you wouldn't be going through all of that."
Unless you on a Twin Flame journey lov🤣🤣
Great quote!!! I wrote it down. How do I hammer that into my head so it sticks, tho?
Very Well Said 😂
Something so simply said can be very enlightening.🎯
Hammer man! Ha! Never happened .
I vacillate between being disgusted with his bad behavior and missing him. Really sucks.
Me too. I was discarded 2 weeks ago, one hour after he told me I was the love of his life and how he wanted to retire with me.
I went to therapy after days of wishing I was dead. I could barely even move.
Now I am better, slowly.
I still miss him a lot, our conversations and the deep happiness I felt I his company. But I have finally also reached a point of knowing: I can never trust him, if I take him back it will only be a question of months before it happens again.
Only weak and insecure people do this to their partner
You probably don’t miss him, but the idea of him and what could have been
Oh me too !!!!😢
@@Realmariah510true. The man he portrayed himself to be was big lie 😢
Yeah! I know women who do the same thing...
Forgive yourself of being blindsided and also let go of the fantasy world in your mind 😊
Blindsighted not blindsided 😂
@@PolarBear-mj9wt many thanks 😊
Well said I get it 👍
@@PolarBear-mj9wtblind sided is correct.
this!
Brian is the big brother we all wish we had that sits us down, tells us the truth about that guy that didn't deserve us or appreciate our worth and even when our hearts are breaking makes us smile and have hope again.
I listened to him two years ago when my dreams of being with the person I loved just weren't coming true.
I did the breakup course
I listened to Brian when he said he wasn't the guy for you, if he was, he would not have let you go.
I went no contact. I got on with life. Two months later I met the love of my life. Every morning I wake up, have coffee with this man that is in love with me, devoted to me and makes me smile every day, I think I'm so grateful I have him. I'm so grateful I listened to Brian and didn't get stuck trying to force something that would never have worked. I love your work Brian! Keep doing what you do best ❤
🤍👏💫
This is gorgeous and really inspiring. I’m so pleased for you both ♥️
@@kittthompson Thank you! ❤️
❤❤❤❤
Thank you there is hope for me too then NOW I Will Love myself forst and go NO contact ❤❤🇩🇰
He's 100% correct.
I went absolutely No Contact for a year with my ex- he returned on a Special Occasion day.
He said, "im sorry i hurt you." and that's it. No deep, meaningful explanation of ALL of the emotionally abusive things he said and did- like the Silent Treatment countless times, withholding effection on purpose as punishment, multiple Discards, etc.
I didnt believe he was remorseful at all- but I forgave him. Not for HIM- for my OWN mental health.
He then had the audacity, in that moment- to act like I STILL wanted to be with him- and he said, "I can't give you what you want."
I was completely repulsed. Here was this man- who returned ONLY to act like he was rejecting me AGAIN.
I called him a snake and blocked him.
Once you know your worth- you realize how much TIME you've wasted on someone, whe truly didnt care about you, and only USED you, to benefit THEM.
He was just trying to fix his guilty ego
@@danicaharley6273 That's how I truly felt too. I've learned so much though, over these past couple of years. I've grown, and changed so much from this experience. There's no more anger, or sadness on my end. I pray he finds peace somehow. He was loved very much.
snake
I needed to read that.
Typical narcissist behaviour and this cannot be healed.
Take care of yourself and Be Happy as you Really deserve 🎉🎉🎉
I had a different reaction. When I finally realized I wasn't being valued and that his preferences lay in a married woman, I didn't continue to love him. My emotions went to absolute disgust for him, a sense of betrayal and utter disgust.
When it's over, then it's over . Thanks for the honesty and truth.
I'm taking a break from all relationships to reset and find myself again.
I can feel the void and the scary unknown. My goal is to be comfortable and confident just being single. When I feel ready for a new relationship, hopefully, I will be a better, happier, and more secure partner to be with.
I've been doing this since the beginning of this year...it's peaceful and have tike for myself that I never had when trying so hard to make my marriage work, raise my children and career. Still working a stressful job, but it's soooo nice going home after work and doing whatever I want. May do another year, who knows?
Best wishes to you in your journey...take time for you. You won't regret it❤️🩹🙏
Same here... except my 'break' is going on 4.5 years. 🤣 I'm 57, never married, nearly every serious bf has cheated on me. I just feel done with dating, but I still have a sliver of hope I'll meet the right guy someday.
They ALL cheat you know! I got this from my therapist!
@@mariefricchione437 he/ she said that all men cheat? It’s really hopeless out there for us 😩
@@mariefricchione437not all men
Choose what chooses you. If he doesn’t choose you, move on.
It's not that easy. You have to mourn the loss of a love before "Moving on" otherwise you are just rebounding.
@@elianad2083well put
Truth
No. You choose 1st. I just chose mine in the middle of an an appt? I interuppted him and said. You are so very hansoms"...lolol
Right.
I don’t want to give this person any more mental real estate rent free!! 😊
Its exactly like this. Its hard to leave a dream of a future with someone. The dream keeps you in.
I ended it after being strung along. I said I was letting him go, got stuff off my chest which was not so nice things and then went NC. I felt better the first month or two, then I felt worse. It’s true that grief is not linear. Thank you for your content. ❤
Give your heart to Jesus Christ. He will lead and guide you into your future. He completely loves you and will never leave you.❤🎉
oh for petes sake
Amen!! The truth that all this pain led me to. Praise God!!
Love yourself always more than a man. Never put someone first, when all you are to them is an option. Learn the lesson and forgive yourself. You need real love.
He did string me along, for 17 months. Not 17 years luckily. Haha. It is hard when we find someone who offers us something we really want that seemed possible and viable at last, then they take it away abruptly for no good reason. It makes us question ourselves as to why, when we should always have been questing their behaviour patterns. And why they are on repeat with many ladies.
I did 7 months but i realized what was happening 😢so i left him
@Music We can only be 'strung along' for as long as we allow it 😅. Take that in. 😊
Naw Really!
@Musicisthelanguageoflove It's so hard, once you come to the reality that you were just strung along and used.
BUT- here's the bright side. You now know the immediate signs of a player.
You know what lovebombing looks like- and the sneaky little phrases players will say to make you THINK they are serious about you, like, "let's just take things slow..."
That phrase, right there... IMMEDIATE red flag for me now. It's a sign of a man- who just wants to USE you physically- but wants absolutely NO emotional connection with you. He ONLY wants to, "take things slow"- so he can USE you physically, for as long as possible.
@@nicolesiemens8727 Why did allow it? It's on us ladies to let go of any relationship that isn't serving us and also to do our own inner work! We can't change anyone else ... only ourselves 😃
NC is not the key but it’s important. List his bad points and read it everyday. List the ways he hurt you big and small. Read it everyday! That’s your closure. Pick a guy with very few dealbreakers for you.
So true for HER behavior too!
@mariefricchione437 I did that recently! I present texts from July 4th to about August 24th or so of daily reminders of why I left, need to stay gone, what he did. It helps.
Guys don't close doors, "case they want access later. 😮 Don't tell HIM you need closure.
@travelchannel304 exactly. And that's the problem- with the kind of man Brian is describing in this video. They INTENTIONALLY don't end ANY relationships- and, "want to be friends"- in order that you will still have SEX with them- but no emotional attachment.
You have to go No Contact and never speak to them again once you realize you're dealing with a man like this. You don't need closure- you just need to move on. You'll never know how many women they've been with- so WHY would you sink anymore time into them?
A guy stringed me along for 8 months, pretending to have serious intentions but still never wanted to commit. I didn’t meet his family or friends. I felt like i always had to prove myself to be worthy. My self value went down alot during this period because i felt i wasn’t good enough. Now this guy has started to contact me again, wanting to “help” me with things but i feel like he only wants to get inside my pants again. 😂
@@lisabell2134Sounds familiar. Face it, he wants to help himself only, not you. You are plenty Good Enough, he is Not. Don't give him the time of day. He is a Time waster, Just move on.
Not worthy of you
Block his ass!!!!! Act like he doesn’t exist
Don’t pay him no mind, they come back when they sense that you’re moving on, just to treat you worse than the last time
The Guy I was with never introduced me to his "inner circle" (family and friends) either. He was 58. I am 62 and don't have much in the way of that myself. But I tried to introduce him to who I could and called him "my boyfriend" since that's what we were. He never introduced me to anyone important to him. He had a niece and her Mom he was close to. But I never met him. Then once his nieces son came over and he just said "Austin this is ..." but no label after that. I should have taken that as a red flag but didn't. Looking bad, it makes me angry as I can see now how much he was using me to keep his power on (his power was in my name) something about his ex-wife messing up things for him. He could have taken care of it but didn't. He kept everything a "secret" for example a sheriff here was "supposed" to be his uncle. But I went on "Truthfinders" and I saw no mention of that Sheriff being his Uncle. Every word that came out of his mouth was a lie and I put up with it for almost four years.
He kicked me out and made me struggle. And then wants to send me good night texts like we are still together no way. Thank you.
You go, gurl! 🎉💪
Ignore those cheap text messages girl
Usually,I dont comment any video.Your video has moved me so much that after watching your video,i immedaitely wanted to comment. I wanted to stay away from the person,due to whom I am facing all these.Today,i am leaving him.Wish me luck for my future
I broke up with him today. 8 weeks no contact (I felt miserable), yesterday I called him out. He apologized and said "I know, I'm the problem. I don't want to mess it up." And still managed to make it worse.
Now he's blocked and I am so relieved.
Im glad your out because youll continue the loop if not
@@honeyyu1474 Thank you
Oh Brian Ur
Hilarious😂😂😂
DELETE DELETE DELETE 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
“The Titanic”
Went NC 4 years ago, best thing I ever could have done for
“MY PEACE” ❤️
Thank You &
Take Care Always ❤️💕❤️
The bottom line, though is staying with someone out of fear of being alone is a no-win situation. It wasn't until I was happy with myself and was perfectly fine being alone that I found the love of my life.
✨💖✨
It hurts when he was so sure about me, he did his best to be together despite distance then later on changed his mind about committing and turning into an avoidant, discarded our connection, rejects me and leaves. But i don’t hate him cauz i saw a wounded man,i did accept him with his complicated past.
Now he made the decision for me that i should walk away. It’s his loss.. he’ll realise it one day.
ain’t that the truth
Pretty much experienced the same situation 💔 It's especially hard when you empathize with his inner child and deep wounds, like despite how cruel and cold he became, you can understand why, and somehow love even the darkest parts of him. Hoping they grow in time, but now it's no longer our burden. Sending good vibes ❤
@@DuskDaimon i feel you 💯🫶🏻 thank you for the support, i hope they’ll do the work and eventually realise what they missed. Meanwhile everything happens for a reason so let’s move on and heal quietly ✨
Everything was fine until i found out he has feelings for my sis and he told me he still loves me and wants to keep our relationship, i didn't take that shit so I ended things, immediately he started pursuing my sis. I realized I was an option all along. He probably don't even know what love is, and I'm happy i didn't lose anything I'm at the right place with the right people, My Family 😊
Thanks, Brian. This is so practical and helpful. Truth hurts, but not as much as reliving rejection and incompatibility.
See him for who he is. Thanks Brian! ❤
I just acknowledge feelings are illogical and I value logic. I let logic dictate my decisions. Eventually my feelings come around. I've never gone no contact. Still good friends with some of my ex's and most of my crushes. Of course mourning the loss of the future I thought was to pass hurts. Cry it out, accept it, and embrace the idea there's something better for both of us to come.
You hit it on the nose for me. Thank you.
Thank you, Geert, although what you suggest is so very hard to do, really very hard. The mind knows you are right, but the heart screams in pain.
The future you part really helpful, thank you. And thanks a million for not adding pictures of people looking sadly out of windows.
I'm going thru this righ now 😢 hopefully I forget him soon!! Even i have no contact with him!! Thanks for posting!❤
Brian you hit the nail on the head, Hollywood is just a fantasy not real life but women tend to think relationships are like Hollywood, we need to wake up and move on, like a man does….i always remember the fuc--up stuff and never want to see or hear from them again
12:26 let go of the ex and just move on. So true!
OMG just what I needed
Thank you Brian for such a good video.
I still don't understand why men make women go through all these things.
Relationships shouldn't be as complicated. However, we are living in a world where most relationships are one sided and in most cases , women love and give the most.
It's so heartbreaking...😢
And I don't understand why women make men go through these things.
This is a truly great video, I would love to find an AI to flip the genders on all of his words because this is exactly what I am struggling with now. I am a (naïve) 70 year old, long married, widower, and she is 71 with a lifelong history of failed dysfunctional relationships, and she taught me some very valuable and extremely painful lessons, but I foolishly, over the course of a year let myself fall in love. Eventually I came to realize that while I wanted a long-term stable loving relationship, she only ever wanted an on-call escort, as in "easy, with no effort" required. Ironically, if I could have had, or learn to have, that same shallow, superficial desire, everything would be hunky-dory.
@@csmith8503❤❤❤
Because we let them.. thinking that yea..we are finally in a relationship..with a man who loves us and can complete us and make us whole. But it's not true. We are already complete and whole without a man. I'm 62 and yet another failed relationship. I think I have had enough. I often wonder if people are meant to mate for life because of such a high divorce rate.
This break up is hurting so much 😔
Can you do more videos about this topic? It is so helpful.
Hang in there! A broken heart is like a broken bone. It takes time to heal. 💔❤️
It’s already been 2 months and it’s still painful in the same way.
@@gret9815 Trust me it gets better with time. I went through a breakup after 10 years. I thought I would never get over him. 10 years later.. I don’t remember the feelings I had for that person. Best lesson is that you will look back and be glad you didn’t go back. Be strong and know that you will be fine. You’re beautiful and you deserve to be happy. Stay strong !
It hurts so much, but get moving with your own life, get his breakup course. Look through his old videos and listen listen listen, he's done so much that will help you. Hang in there, better days are ahead!!
thank you🥺
So tough when you see them at work everyday.
Same! How do you deal with this on a daily basis?
This is exactly my situation - which is why I was fortunate to be able to resign and start a new job elsewhere. It's been 6 months of zero contact, but I'm still crying over having fallen in love so deeply (nothing happened between us, but he did let me know that he also had feelings for me. However, I had to completely let it go). I empathize with your situation and how incredibly stressful it is. I had to take daily Tylenol to numb the acute vulnerability and stress
I had same situation and left the job!! First time happened to me to fall in love so deeply with someone at work. Hated myself for being so vulnerable and weak 😢 I miss him terribly, though, and have not gotten over him. It's 6 months now that I left the job...loved the job but couldn't focus and work together.
Same situation with me and I can’t leave my job at this moment 😢
@@lilmar1710 It must be so painful and stressful. I've been there
Brian your personality is beautiful. I’m happy that I found your page❤
I really needed to hear this. My mind knows this, my heart has to get on board. Thank you!
istg i love the way you talk the most. you are so funny and you tell the truths just in the right way. the best video i've ever watched on breakups so far. thank you so much!!
I started writing a journal focused only on the relationship I wanted to end, so every time I thought it was a good idea to keep on it just read about the situation in my own words. It worked fine
👏 👏 👏 👏 ❤
That’s a really good idea
Works better than anything
Such a good video! Not what if, what is!
Crossed this channel today,the best channel I have come across,I am watching back to back,thank you Brian,you are the best.
Women all over the world are getting the message that our assumptions that (most) men (especially the ones we chose to date) are worthwhile dating material, is just flat out wrong. We're becoming versed in emotional intelligence.... we see how the the dating culture has made us primed to blame ourselves (!!!) for men who are just so-so, subpar and even worse - and we should have passed on most of them after just a 'Hello'. Instead, we learned we should do more, be more, and quite frankly if we are completely focused upon what we need to do or feel we should be doing, rather than focused on the man and his behavior vis-a-vis us, and what HE is all about - if that is happening in the context of dating that person, well it's time to say goodbye, because if you are thinking it's all on you as to how the relationship goes, then you are dating someone who doesn't care all that much. Women get caught up in the trap of taking the relationship SO seriously - even after it ended. You will often read women say, 'it still hurts' and 'this breakup is killing me' etc etc. Ladies, he's not all that. Open your eyes - you didn't lose anything that was worth more than junk jewelry, I promise you. You certainly didn't lose anything that was meant for you, which also means it wasn't anything that was worthwhile - not worthwhile for you. And since it wasn't meant for you, take license and just call it for what it is - junk. You owe it to yourself to give yourself more respect and as for that other person, you need to see them with clarity and someone treating you poorly is NOT an amazing person.
I hope to one day meet one of these women that you are describing, that take the relationship seriously, instead of just a fun game to play. Major lesson: ignore her words if her behavior is showing something different.
🎯‼️ Whomp! THERE IT IS! The truth, the WHOLE truth , and NOTHING BUT the truth! 💯%!
🔥♥️🔥♥️🔥♥️🔥♥️🔥 ♥️🫡
😘 🌹 🤗
Thanks for giving true, honest, direct, heartfelt, grounding advise! ❤❤❤ so practical and helpful! Hugs and Love!
They'll think about you when they're going through a break up themselves however by then we already moved on with our lives. It doesn't matter how strong the feelings are, they made their choice. It hurts but life has to go on
Just in time , went no contact with him today
I'm Day 12 today.
May the Lord God wrap His arms of love and comfort around you and fill you with His peace.
(I'd have gone mad without His comfort and love).
Hi 👋 Brian, this is my first time watching your videos, and I am SO THANKFUL for all that you said. 🙏🏽 ❤ I needed that.
Thank you Brian I love every word you say and the light you bring to our lives ❤
Brian, you REALLY have a way of lazer stamping into (my) ppl’s minds with your A#1 Analogies!…The “sitting on a train” was Priceless & im going to remember that 1 as
it’s SO easy to imagine myself just sitting there & open to someone who quite possibly could be kind & interesting & might plop down right next to me!…& the other I’d already envisioned of “bettering myself” post “ding-dong” & when we run into ea other again, his mouth will simply drop…Don’t forget that Very Last & Best Part!….Thanks for “being” as you’re IMMENSELY HELPFUL….& I sense Very Kind & your Sage Knowledge & Advice is coming from a Really-good place…God Bless, Hermano💃🏻
I love the way you explain things. You're the only one that makes me feel better.
There is someone I watch who does “ Skits” wherein he plays different characters, and one, the female uses a “ Remote Control “ . CUTE !!!
I like your concept of the “ Delete Button “ and I agree with all that you have said.
I will have to reinforce these words of yours by listening to this video again at another time.
I was going to say something else but I have somehow forgotten it ; probably just like he had apparently “ forgotten “ me which made me recall that he had once said to someone “ I gotta get something out of it...” You are absolutely correct in saying that if we pay close attention to the things that they say, which is difficult to do when one is wrapped up in the moment; however, upon close reflection of the words they do speak to others conveys volumes that we somehow overlooked through the Rose colored , heart shaped glasses that we missed before.
I recently found myself asking myself,” Why did he not agree to meeting with me when that’s all that I asked for from him ? He passed up a chance to meet me and get to know me and allow me to be able to know him. So, I suppose he spoke the truth to me when he said that he was “ No good.” I thought at first that he was putting himself down verbally so I said,” Well , if you are No Good , I am Too Good. I have to feel good about myself and have a high sense of self esteem ( especially since the last relationship I was in I was disrespected and abused.) You’re right about not hating the other individual, it’s his loss not mine. Why couldn’t he see what the “ Fakers” see who respond to me via his channel? Unless they all have the same “ scheme in mind “ to get something out of it. Which tells me They really are “ NO GOOD “ .
Thank you for helping me clear away the nebulous cloud of confusion that I have somehow deluded myself into thinking. ( It hasn’t been a total waste of time as I have focused on my education and my children. Now, I am learning “ How to Focus on Myself. “ )
👍👍🙏💜🦁✨✝️
12:25
This was needed for me right now
Brian I’m so happy I found your UA-cam 🙏🏽
Thank you so much, sir. It feels like you’ve infiltrated my thoughts 😂 Your kind, warm spirit made this message so easy to accept 😌🙏🏾💗
Exactly. I Long for peace. The peace of God. - My imagination worked overtime over a situation which never had a future. A mistake of my mind for which I paid an enormous emotional ,psychological and material price.
Wow me too. This is deep
The only husband for me is Jesus Christ. ✝️💟
You speak French and Flemish? Cool!
So... Informative, valuable content with great humor and a light touch - while also a linguist 🥰 Thank you. I find your content soothing, helpful and entertaining (a great mix). All the best from BC Canada.
Brian, are the friend in my head. Why should I pay attention to someone who disrespected me? I end things for very valid reasons.
Thanks Brian...this is very witty and insightful!
Yes, it's usually about us and our mind(what it needs) and not about really wanting them.
Truly Divine!! Thank you, Brian❤
I just needed to hear this, thank you.i just suffered a heartbeat this week and it has been hard moving on...thank you Brian
This is excellent advice. I like that you suggest doing something positive for one’s self. Also thinking of our older self is great, I have done that and it puts things into perspective. No contact is very helpful. And thinking of the reasons why the ex broke it off also helps a lot. One of your best videos. I have bought your books 😊 Thank you!
Great video Brian I have good days and bad days I loved someone 13 years for someone that use me and didn't care about me and weirdly enough we weren't in a relationship. It's taken me years but slowly and surely I'm moving on and it wasn't possible for me because I have unconditional love no matter what he did to me I always loved him. Once I started to care about me and realized my potential that I deserve love... moving on happened a little bit over time
This is so timely! I am around a place where my ex and I traveled so I had nostalgia. Something in me told me to check UA-cam and I came across your video. Thank you for your brotherly instruction!
Thank you! This is exactly what I needed to hear today
Great content Brian.
You’re the Best!
I am having a hard time though on the 1-about “not hating him”….Moments when I can let grace in my heart, it feels good but then I say to myself: “But he’s SUCH a rat stinker & how he treated me” & I HAVE TO HATE him again as THAT feels so right to me! But I’m
trying as you’re right, how Delightful to just not feel anythg for him at all BECAUSE he doesn’t deserve 1 more second of my time & I’ve been able to “Slay the Beast” of him …Got it & I’ll try to stay the course!!☘️
I dont waste time with a man Who Is not showing any interest.😊
I love this. It's so funny and spot on! Well done Brian, this is awesome 😂😂😂❤❤
Brian you are an amazing descriptive support to us women ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for this advice. I'm grateful to have come across this video because one bite of wisdom you shared herein made me realize that even seeking out and digesting such content has been keeping that emotional tether in place and misplacing my time and energy towards anything even adjacent to him, when I should be using it to watch content that will help expand a skill set or soothe me in a healthy way or just make me laugh. Too much of myself and my time was wasted pouring into a person who has demonstrated their disinterested in, if not incapacity to, do anything other than take, deplete and do harm all while playing victim. I'm done and while this info has been beyond valuable and I've been working to sever this tie for a full gestation period at this point, I'm ready to put the final nail in the coffin and lay my facades about that person to rest once and for all. Silver lining I've met an actual good guy and if not for enduring that agonizing ordeal, I may never have learned the difference
I’ve watched a lot of your videos but this one hit the spot so much! It was exactly what I needed to hear from start to finish.
This is one of the best 3 advice.
in my case you are sir, *my little brother* love your sense of humour, and advise- thanks
This is so very true, all of it ... thank you (and you always make me smile 😊) !
I 💖 love love 💖 this guy 😁 and his analogies are not just fantastic, but hilarious!! 🤣🤣🤣 Kudos to you Brian!!! 👍👍😁💪💪💪🎉🎉🎉
I’ve been watching you for a few months. Thank you. You’ve taught me many things
Your videos are always fun, and I have read several of your books. Thanks for all you do!
Thank you Brian. After years of sufferings I realize the very good feeling that I do not love him at all anymore. All my feelings like love and hate were dissapeared for him. It is gone👍😊
Now I am completely free from him.
HI Brian, someone is using your content and I can't report it myself because I'm not you nor your lawyer! It's your video "When an Emotionally BROKEN Man is Using a Woman, He’ll Show These Signs!" (there may be others) only translated to French, but exact words even to the exact same jokes. The video is "Ces signes montrent qu’un homme émotionnellement brisé VEUT VOUS UTILISER" by the channel "vision stoïcienne".
Great advice. Not my case now, but I'm always learning a lot from your videos. Thanks, Brian!
12:26 let go of the EX, and just let go! So true.
Rejection is God's Protection 🙏
Brilliant advice. Funny to hear that life's like a train ride while travelling by train...
Hi Brian,
I don't know you , but i have to say you are hilarious and I love you for that reason, I love anyone that makes me laugh, brilliant and funny.Thanks for the advice and laughter.
Yup he did string me along for years!! And like a fool i followed the dangling Carrott 🤷🏼♀️ we learn..sometimes later than we should have 🤦🏼♀️
Thankyou Brian! You are amazing!😊
Good tips, often you both had a sense it wasn't happening for whatever reason.. timing, hung-up on the ex, not that compatible, etc. It's just that the guy took the reins and did it; made you feel dispensable plus the ego smack, feels icky. Then the void and loneliness sets in, can make you linger on the one who left.
In the future, don't wait too long on a relationship stuck in neutral or w/o a mutual buzz. Be the first to leave and you'll feel more in control.
Also, is lopsided for women, are bio programmed to attach (necessary b/c they hv babies) and so suffer more - need to self protect. I wish men would respect that innate quality instead of exploiting it for personal gain.
I needed to hear this. Thank you ❤🥹
A severe no contact. Correct.
i currently do not have means to move out on my own. Also, 2 children in homeschool. The man i married definitely benegits from my cleaning, cooking, stuff i buy. i was thinking the other day, why does he seem to be rewarded and i punished. I just feel used again... and stuck.
This right here I need
Actually those are very good informations, and besides, a nice sense of humor :)
Thank you.
😂😂 most of this video I related to me, your right I need turtle 🐢, I blocked his number in July, this is a great video 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Hi Brian it's been a while since I watched your videos. This video popped up in my UA-cam feed so I felt guided towards it. Thank you this is helpful for me 😊😇💖🙏.
Amazing! So helpful and perfect timing 😊, thank you , will listen few more times for sure!!!! Amazing video 🎉
Omggg.... you explained this soo well 😮
he could've been stringing you along for years ....good thing it was only for months?! u_ u .... sorry this is a great video, I'm just in such a negative mindframe and want my months back ... .and I just don't like it when a man paints a picture of commitment then backs off, when I didn't even ask for it. :(
....great advice on moving on with hobbies and self improvement projects. :) I needed to hear that!
Thank you Geert.
The Lord God bless you.
I needed this insight and encouragement today.
I'm on Day 12 of no contact, and my brain is feeling the dopamine withdrawal today.
Hang in there and go do something nice for yourself…exercise is a great way to improve your mood! I also like my acupressure mat…take care of you!!❤