I was once on a Wizz Air flight to Warsaw when the pilots "accidentally" left the PA switched on and proceeded to have a conversation where they forgot where they were flying to. It was brilliant :P
All joking aside, I was on an aeroplane once with my wife and during taxi the pilot stopped and said "Ladies and gentlemen please bear with us, we've just noticed a fault with one of our navigation systems. We're going to try the old IT trick of" turning it off and on again". We'll keep you posted." A few minutes later he announced that everything was working again. The rest of our flight was uneventful.
I know this is old and a joke but you can't cause there's something called 'sterile cockpit' where you can't make any comment related to something other than the initial climb to 10000ft
@@williamnation-dixon7743 Don't know whether to be very happy for Victoria, or sorry for her. (Who am I kidding? The right answer is obviously to be jealous of them both.)
Bad things to hear on an aeroplane: “This is your captain speaking. For passengers wishing to use the forward starboard toilet… I’d give it about 20 minutes.”
“Hello this is your pilot speaking we hope you enjoy your 24 hours flight to Australia, you’re Cabin crew member Frankie Boyle will be looking after you on this flight”
Before we start flying I'd like to say a few words: The food is inedible. The engine is faulty. And the doors have trouble opening. Have a nice flight!
American skinhead skatepunks in California used to celebrate 4/20 with a party. The other skatepunks didn't care it was for Hitler's birthday because they'd get free beer out of it. Then it became an American tradition in the 1990s to smoke weed on that day and then Europe copied them. Like when all the people who hate Irish people and Catholics get wasted on St. Patrick's Day or college students shag outside on May Day. People just need an excuse to do something.
@chrisgonatakethepiss I guess I just really love how happy he is. Even when he is making fun of someone, he isnt really laughing at them, but instead is pointing out something they probably never though about themselves. But, to each his own.
Mock the Week is brilliant, love this one, brilliant line up, 4 regulars rule and David Mitchell is brilliant at stand up. shame Dara doesn't join in this round.
Many years ago, the cabin crew on Virgin Airlines (Australia) used to say all kinds of amusing things in the pre-flight safety demonstration - I remember them saying "your lifejacket is fitted with a whistle - to scare away the sharks". (True story).
“Alright, so, have any of you seen that film from the 80s, Airplane? Well, long story short, are any of you by chance an ex-fighter pilot? No? Oh, just checking. Nothing to worry about.”
Bad things to hear on an Aircraft- “Hello this is your pilot speaking we hope you enjoy your 24 hours flight to Australia, you’re Cabin crew member Frankie Boyle will be looking after you on this flight”
You haven't lived until you've boarded a plane, strapped yourself in, and then realised that members of the ground crew are strapping bits of the interior together with zip-ties. It makes you check to make sure that your lifejacket is under your seat, and that your will is up to date.
It needs to be said that comedians have carried me through the "trump error." I love American comics too such as Stephen Colbert, but eight of the ten funny humans on my list are from the UK. So as both my jaw and butt unclench for the first time in five years, I just want each of you to know what an important role you have played in keeping me sane. Thanks from Seattle
Welcome aboard this flight, ladies and gentlemen. As we take off, I want everyone to remain relaxed, and ignore the fact that the engine has gone bust.
Hundreds of times I have heard Frankie's HIV bits and hundreds of times I laugh like it's the first time. Russell always puts the extra cherry on top too!
Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking, if you look to your left, two RAF jets are on either side of the plane and are ordering me to land at once, I've turned on the fasten seatbelt sign, CAUSE THIS SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET SERIOUS!!!
"If any passengers happen to find the plane's user manual, would you kindly deliver it to the cockpit. Thank you."
buddy holly's last words
Brilliant! 😆
this is why you should leave it to the professionals
" due to unforeseen islamic fundamentalists, this plane is being diverted to paradise "
cracks me up all the time
XD
unless your on the plane
@Dx Fire The BBC were literally heavily biased for Boris.
One of the funniest things I’ve ever heard😂
Adam Jones They really weren’t lmao, before you go off I voted for Corbyn
''does anybody know how to get out of the bermuda triangle?''
Create a circle
"I'm sorry, due to unforseen Islamic fundamentalism, this plane is being diverted to paradise." Hugh Dennis just doesn't get enough praise.
Don't think you could make that one today
@Alan Cogan HAHAHAHA
@Alan Cogan His dad abused many children throughout Hampshire.
@@ENZOxDV9 you could. Maybe in britain but not in america
Lol the amount of people who say you can’t do this today when things like this and worse are STILL coming out.
Bad things to hear on an airplane 2020 version: "Cough"
'Good morning passengers this is your- ohhh what does this button do?"
I was once on a Wizz Air flight to Warsaw when the pilots "accidentally" left the PA switched on and proceeded to have a conversation where they forgot where they were flying to. It was brilliant :P
Alex Tunstall No way 😂😂😂
anna17 yes way! It was all intentional and just them being jokers
Alex Tunstall So funny 😂
...and? Continue,woman!
'you can't use that toilet. that's *my* toilet..'
for some reason, david mitchell looks exactly like someone who would say that..
The line reminds me of mark from the peep show
All joking aside, I was on an aeroplane once with my wife and during taxi the pilot stopped and said "Ladies and gentlemen please bear with us, we've just noticed a fault with one of our navigation systems. We're going to try the old IT trick of" turning it off and on again". We'll keep you posted." A few minutes later he announced that everything was working again. The rest of our flight was uneventful.
Samuel Holmes cool story bro. I’m serious. It was kinda cool.
True story?
Better in taxing than in flight!
I was on that flight!
@Dale Haygarth that sounds terrifying!!
*_"Punch it, Chewie!"_*
ShiitakeWarrior if iam ever going to fly i want to hear the pilot say this bevore the start
Punch! That! Shit!
Honestly if the pilot of my flight said that before takeoff it would make my day
*_OOAAAAAAUUUGHHHH_*
They told me they fixed it! It's not my fault!
I'm now very tempted to become a commercial pilot just to quote Star Wars before takeoff.
have you become a commercial pilot yet?
@@maka6134 I don't think they have.
@@lunarixis9957 His phone is on airplane mode, he can't respond.
I know this is old and a joke but you can't cause there's something called 'sterile cockpit' where you can't make any comment related to something other than the initial climb to 10000ft
@@finh8895 oh yeah I forgot Barry you joined my earth welcome to the one and only earth prime.
In the event of a crash, sacrifice the nearest child and hope for the best.
"That's MYYY TOILET."
Sounds like something Mark corrigan would say in the peep show
That's MY bit of lager
@@williamnation-dixon7743 Don't know whether to be very happy for Victoria, or sorry for her. (Who am I kidding? The right answer is obviously to be jealous of them both.)
Love Frankie's ability to deliver quick witted jokes on the spot that is hard to match and makes everyone else burst into laughter
Problem is, This show is rehearsed and not on the spot lol
Bad things to hear on an aeroplane:
“This is your captain speaking. For passengers wishing to use the forward starboard toilet… I’d give it about 20 minutes.”
Ha ha ha
“Hello this is your pilot speaking we hope you enjoy your 24 hours flight to Australia, you’re Cabin crew member Frankie Boyle will be looking after you on this flight”
"Chapter One: Aerodynamics for Dummies.
Oh shit, is this thing on?"
Frankie's "don't make me choose between you and the wolf" had me in hysterics.
Frankie literally makes me laugh out loud with every one of his jokes, must go and see him live methinks. Dara is a legend too. :D
"HOLD ON, I'VE JUST ENTERED US IN THE RED BULL CHALLENGE" 😂💀
"Hold on, I've just entered us in the red bull challenge" LOL, Andy Parsons always dishes out top comedy
"-Thank you, and have a nice flight. Oi, Jeff! Do you happen to know how to fly this thing?"
"Due to unforeseen complications in the space time continuum, this plane has been diverted to the Twilight Zone."
he man have you changed much in these last 5 years?
"And if you look to your left, you should be able to see the gremlin tearing up the wing's wiring."
They had an episode where the planes went back in time
Pedrosaurus Mex The Odyssey of Flight 33
"He sleeps in the bed with us ok.Dont make me choose between you and and the wolf"
LMFAO!!
So was Russell Howard! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
"ok whoever left the floater in the toilet please go back and flush it"
"I can't believe they're letting me fly this thing after one day on a simulator. EasyJet? I hope so."
'You want me to put my dingaling into your fairycave...
ARE YOU MAD WOMAN!!"
hahahaha brilliant :D
_og comment_
@@prodbykaji REAL OG
O shit my guy
i love how when russel howard gets the giggles or something at 1 of the jokes he just wonders around the platform bit lol love mock the week! x
"Unfortunately the only show we have available to watch on board today is Mock The Week"
Before we start flying I'd like to say a few words:
The food is inedible.
The engine is faulty.
And the doors have trouble opening.
Have a nice flight!
Beamkatana Blazerose Was that supposed to be a joke?
Yep
That was shite
@@solodemon9983 So, Ryan Air?
12 years later, the Chewy impression and Mr. Tiddles still made me laugh ridiculously
Nobody:
Absolutely Nobody:
UA-cam: Let's recommend this 11 year old video
Ok well in my case I just watched 20 of these videos, so I might be a bit predictable right now..
No one asked you to repost this old dead meme either.
FINIKY it wasn’t old when they posted it, and it isn’t dead now
Be worse if they recommended it to an 11 year old
@@Caraxian
It isn't old or dead, but by god is it shitty crutch for people who can't be funny on their own.
"You want me to put my ding-a-ling into your fairycave, ARE YOU MAD WOMAN!!!!!" Priceless, Frankie Boyle rocks!!!! ^^
I find it great that Frankie is joking about dangers of flying and flying is his biggest fear.
Can anyone here play Microsoft flight simulator?
Andy Parsons is a legend he had me lmao'ing at the Red Bull challenge bit xD
Adolf's birthday is actually on 4/20 so I think he's onto something
slaven jevtić imagine if it was 9/11
American dates innit
@@harrytarrant8449 No. He was born on 20th month of a year
slaven jevtić yes
American skinhead skatepunks in California used to celebrate 4/20 with a party. The other skatepunks didn't care it was for Hitler's birthday because they'd get free beer out of it. Then it became an American tradition in the 1990s to smoke weed on that day and then Europe copied them. Like when all the people who hate Irish people and Catholics get wasted on St. Patrick's Day or college students shag outside on May Day. People just need an excuse to do something.
"In the event of an emergency... I'm alright, I've got a parachute. Don't fancy your chances."
Bad Things to Hear on an Aeroplane:
I really hope that guy in the turban just said Allan's Snackbar
i know you wrote this a while ago but im dead
Eduardo Cortazar wrong religion m8
Lots of religions wear turbans.
HAHAHA
but muslims don't, unfunny, islamaphobic and racist joke
''we welcome you first timers on a plane welcome to virgin airways''
Who said that 😂😂😂
*video 12 years ago*
UA-cam 2020: TIME FOR RECOMMENDED
@chrisgonatakethepiss I guess I just really love how happy he is. Even when he is making fun of someone, he isnt really laughing at them, but instead is pointing out something they probably never though about themselves. But, to each his own.
"This is your captain speaking and I have no fucking idea how to work a plane."
1:54 when Russel went up 😂😂
It's so great that we're living together. But don't go in the basement, I have David Tennant tied up and screaming for me to let him out.
Beamkatana Blazerose, my mum also has Aidan turner and Chris hems worth down there.
Beamkatana Blazerose You could say he overstayed his Tenancy.
Conway79 WAYYYY
his face, and the vein that sticks out of russell's arm at 2:07. god, you have to love him.
Mock the Week is brilliant, love this one, brilliant line up, 4 regulars rule and David Mitchell is brilliant at stand up. shame Dara doesn't join in this round.
I love the way Russel Keels over with laughter from Frankies jokes!
Ah on my recommendations 12 years late.
Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Russel Howard and David Mitchell. Now that was a panel!
"Welcome to Ryanair flight London to Moscow, or, in practical terms, Edinburgh to St. Petersbug."
Many years ago, the cabin crew on Virgin Airlines (Australia) used to say all kinds of amusing things in the pre-flight safety demonstration - I remember them saying "your lifejacket is fitted with a whistle - to scare away the sharks". (True story).
At 2:35 it makes me wonder how rare it is to celebrate an awesome punchline like a soccer goal. You don't see that very often.
2:14 straight up lifted from Mrs Doubtfire
Bad things to hear on an aeroplane, 2020: "Cough..."
Russell laughing to Frankie's jokes is one of the best things about this show.
"I've never dropped this much acid in my life."
"We are the Borg. Life as you know it is over..."
"Whinney..."
“Alright, so, have any of you seen that film from the 80s, Airplane? Well, long story short, are any of you by chance an ex-fighter pilot? No? Oh, just checking. Nothing to worry about.”
On a similar note I just wanted to say good luck. We're all counting on you.
Dang, I nearly died at "My toilet!"
*rolls around in fit of laughter*
Russel Howard is hilarious!!!
Hugh and Frankie are also awesome!
i think we all want to hear the pilot say punch it chewie
Bad things to hear on an Aircraft- “Hello this is your pilot speaking we hope you enjoy your 24 hours flight to Australia, you’re Cabin crew member Frankie Boyle will be looking after you on this flight”
"the worst person to be married to".....
Hugh: "Baaa!!"
roflmao!!!
2:32 Russell's laugh in the background shot me into a fit of giggles xD
“Louisa and her in flight team will be looking after you today, and your hijacker’s name is Ibrahim.”
💀💀💀💀💀💀
'brace yourself agnes, it's that time of year again' LOL Frankie Boyle is a legend
Oh, what does this button do?
thanks for repeating what they just said in the video!
its very useful for those who are deaf!
"you can't use that toilet, thats MY toilet!"
"You want me to put my dingaling in your fairycave, ARE YOU MAD, WOMAN?!"
LOL! Brilliant
1 - "Lightspeed to Endor!!"
2 - "Now whatever you do, don't scream"
This is your pilot speaking, for the next eight hours we will be playing Justin Beiber's greatest hits.
I didn't know he had enough hits for 8 hours worth
+Jacob Francis
It doesn't really matter. You'd be dead by 5 minutes.
'Anyone know how to fly a plane?!?!'
buddy holly's last words
Ive been watching these excerpts all day, and I ended up at these older ones and I'm just happy to see Rus here too
"I've brought all me video to turn us on, it's Fred Dibner's age of steam" Hugh Dennis is a FUCKING LEGEND!!
THUMBS UP!
"You want me to put my dingaling into your fairy cave? Are you mad woman!" LMAO
I would have said "Todays in-flight movie will be Castaway"
You haven't lived until you've boarded a plane, strapped yourself in, and then realised that members of the ground crew are strapping bits of the interior together with zip-ties. It makes you check to make sure that your lifejacket is under your seat, and that your will is up to date.
It needs to be said that comedians have carried me through the "trump error." I love American comics too such as Stephen Colbert, but eight of the ten funny humans on my list are from the UK.
So as both my jaw and butt unclench for the first time in five years, I just want each of you to know what an important role you have played in keeping me sane.
Thanks from Seattle
This is my favourite scenes we'd love to see round every joke is classic, every single one. I can't even single 1 out.
"The seatbelt light has turned on as we are about to transform into a giant robot."
'brace yourself agnes, its that time of year again!'
hahaha frankie cracks me up :D
They wouldn’t dare tell these jokes in 2019!
Sad but true
Shut uo with that bollox, people have always got offended at shit, nothings changed and no one would stop them doing it again
Yes. The 2000s was definitely the less sensitive time to make jokes about plane hijacking
In the 1950s it was too offensive to say the word pregnant or have couples to be in the same bed next to each other on TV
Jay Williams tf ?
I laughed so much at David's "You can't use THAT toilet, that's MY toilet" 3:20
"This is your captain speaking. Turns out that WASN'T a runway after all!"
LOL
'You can't use that toilet... that's MYYYY toilet!'
Welcome aboard this flight, ladies and gentlemen. As we take off, I want everyone to remain relaxed, and ignore the fact that the engine has gone bust.
Brace yourself Agnes, it's that time of year again.
Brilliant line from Frankie.
if a pilot has been locked out of the cockpit its pretty much game over for all of you''
Thank you, i agree with you.
He also stares at the audience waiting for a laugh.
Oh my goodness they all look soooooooooo young! It's December 2019!
Hundreds of times I have heard Frankie's HIV bits and hundreds of times I laugh like it's the first time. Russell always puts the extra cherry on top too!
"I can press the button! I can press the button!"
"Brace yourself Agnus, its that time of year again!" I'm literally crying from laughter XD
David Mitchell is a great addition...
And that's why we love him.
"When I said I was a positive person, I meant HIV" XD
'well err if you take a look at the portside window in bout a min youll see me, bye!'
lol!
1:46 How is that a bad thing?
You can't use /that/ toilet. That's MY toilet.
Brilliant xD
Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking, if you look to your left, two RAF jets are on either side of the plane and are ordering me to land at once, I've turned on the fasten seatbelt sign, CAUSE THIS SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET SERIOUS!!!
reading that in Obamas voice is a treat
"Roger, Roger. What's our Vector, Victor?"
"We've got clearance, Clarence."