I decided to have a relationship with myself after my divorce of a twenty five year marriage… Got myself a ring and learned how to enJOY-just-my own company! Best decision I’ve Eva made! Big Aloha from the shores of Kauai, out to each and everyone of you! 🌈🙌✨🌈🙌✨🌈🙌✨
today, 22.05.2024, I AM starting over, engaging full shadow work and actual transmuting my shame, grief and insanity into force, fuel for actual full version of myself! It is time to bring myself back to the world of living, vulnerability, personal responsibility and a lot of focusing on things that DO matter for ME! Thank you Marcus, thank you Matthew! Beautiful unfolding of Mathew's struggle, feels very relatable! Best wishes, take care~
Wow. Aubrey , when you were talking to yourself brother, had me straight up just weeping without even understanding why. Powerful conversation men. Powerful!
I can completely relate to Matthew's self love example. I try to show up as a great, accepting friend with genuine love to others and once I started providing that for myself life really changed. When you can make love for yourself you will be amazed by the amount of love you can produce on top of that for others.
This was one of the deepest poignant conversations I’ve heard in a long long time. Bravo to you both for being so open, vulnerable, authentic, and deep.!! I’m going to listen to this again cause there’s so many jewels in it. Thank you, Marcus and Matthew. It’s a home run.
Love is universally what we all want. We can cover it up. But like the Sun still shining behind the clouds love and kindness will always shine through ❤🎉
Listening to Matthew talk about tinnitus touched me deeply. First because I have it too and I know how it feels, also because it was because of his experience with it that he could relate and support his client with true empathy. We can fight our symptoms or we can learn from them. Everything comes back to love.
Once I let go and surrendered to the tennitus, it no longer drive my will, I cou use that strength to see THE LIGHT, I can so relate to your experience! Really needed this reminder at 2:42 am today, Thank you both!
I love where this went. I have had a very difficult journey with grief, heartbreak and resentment for the last year. I've spent so much time alone, I live alone for the first time in my life, and becoming a positive sounding board for myself has been essential. Thanks for this conversation!
I am in a very difficult relationship, but i can use it for my self growth. It is my choise to stay. How mean and disappointing it can feel, i take this time to grow. I do not want to say "i deserve better". I love him for what he is, now i have to love myself enough to really make a decision.
The voice of compassion, understanding, but mostly love. ❤ that is how you change how you start to see the world. Be kind to yourself and you'll see that kindness pour out to the ones around you.
🤧😌glad I tuned in when I did, and its a mixture of confirmation to things I’ve recently integrated and also gave such a shift to “baggage” I can unclaim💗
I lost all hope in life really. When my mind inevitably moves toward hope for a new thing I have to kill it because the pain of the disappointment is much worse than living in the absence of emotion.
I feel like an hypocrite questionning the truthfulness of your conclusion since I very much relate to this feeling and have been under the influence of this line of thinking for a couple years now, not feeling alive like I used to, lacking the motivation to make the moves toward a better life because I lost my ability to trust that letting myself be hopeful about things will bring anything but the excruciating pain of disappointment and betrayal...but seeing your comment resonated with me and provoked a response from my intuition, or rather it has brought its volume up from the very quiet volume it usually stays in, quiet to the point where my noisy, chaotic mind almost always drowns it and prevent me from "hearing" it...but it's making me feel how this line of thinking is a dangerous, sinister lie that appears logical and like a safer way to live without leaving ourselves vulnerable to more disappointments and betrayal, but is actually deceiving us with half-truths, and prevents us from truly seeing how much more pain following it is ultimately bringing into our lives. I fully understand where you come from and I am sorry that you got hurt to the point where hope feels so dangerous that it can't be worth it, I have been/I am there also, but I have this deep "knowing" inside of me that tells me that this path - while appearing safer and less brutal, even sorta peaceful - ultimately only leads to the corruption, sickness and death of our soul... I'm not calling you a liar by the way, I'm saying that this line of thinking is deceitful, it promises us a form of safety that is enticing after having been wounded deeply from following our hopes for love, joy, fulfillment, etc...but in moments of stillness where I'm less agitated and tormented by all the trauma I've accumulated, allowing me to find more clarity, it appears clear to me that this holding to this enticing belief is tricking us into making our lives infinitely more miserable than those past disappointments ever did to us, which puts our souls at risk of going through some seriously dark stuff, and recognizing myself in what you said, I wanted to share this intuition with you, with the hope that it may cause you to question if this belief really is true and if it really shields you from pain, or is allowing a deeper, more insidious form of suffering into your life. I myself still need to work through this stuff since I know that once anxiety takes back hold of me I will be enticed into falling back in this pattern of inaction and refusing to be hopeful and live accordingly, but something is telling me I need to fight this tendency, for my soul needs me to find back the courage of living with hope. I pray that you find a way to live that makes you feel alive and loving
@@AlbertoBalsalme Oh no! I get your point. You are right. The avoidance of life might save you pain now but it will end you. I know that very well. When you roam the desert trying to find the oasis but end up stumbling on a mirage the thing you end up with is just sand escaping through your fingers. Yes, you might learn something in the process but if the situation persists long enough the only thing you will remember is your pain with nothing to offset it. [See “you” as a generalization] When nothing can mirror the thing you know you need, your mind becomes an illusion, an empty promise. You question if what you need even exists. Then you curse yourself because you need it. You blame your pain on your needs because you cannot blame it on anything else since there is no proof that your need is real. You might read it in a book or see it on a screen but that is too far removed from one's life to feel that is possible for yourself. Then comes deep envy, then it becomes bitterness that in turn becomes rage, which will end with the impulse to take from others what you don't have. This is how it will end you. When I'm drowning in pain in the moment what can I do to calm down my system? There is no magic pill or spell that can help. Nothing in my reality ever showed me that I can find better relationships by putting in the effort. When I move from one person to the next, choosing completely different environments to maximise better outcomes, the result is the same. People that have no interest in going to the deep end. I just do not understand why those who I love to be with are not available and those who drain my energy are plenty around me. If I were to cut them off, I would be left with no one including family and friends. So, for me to be with other human beings I have to tolerate the pain they cause me. I have to numb myself every day to try to reach the future.
Pure delight with absolute favourite humans whom light up the truth in my soul, bless you both for sharing yourselves openly with the world… no mean feat!! Arohanui x
I really appreciate this conversation. I haven't listened all the way through yet... in fact, only up to min 31ish... but it's hitting the nail on the head of exactly what I needed to hear today as I was contemplating my own light/shadow. I've recognized there is still a contraction that comes when confronting the aspects of myself that can be brutal / cruel... It's a slight turning away and not really accepting those aspects of myself. The fear is that they'd run rampant and be destructive... I loved the simplicity and compassion with which you, Aubrey, said "because I'm bad. And I'm good". There was such a gorgeous integration there... and the minutes that followed that moment landed the lesson of the day for me -- from that integrated place THEN I CAN CHOOSE to act on my goodness, to make reparations where I've transgressed, to truly receive another and their humanity (and their brutality as it may manifest - so long as they, too, are inclined in the direction of choosing their goodness - most of the time!!!)
Thank you both. I am a member of Matthew’s group, and appreciate the conversation. The discussion on self love was perfect, and something I really needed to hear and be reminded of today. There were many aha moments throughout your conversation. ☺️
What an incredible podcast. I got so much value out of it! Thank you🙏 I was especially struck with the conversation about kelp-jerky, pain, and the shower ritual. There was so much to unpack and immediately apply to daily life.
was moved by your story of tinnitus and working through that. I have a similar story and it was relieving to hear your side of it. Thanks for sharing wishing you continued healing and peace.also very strange but I/G immediately removed this comment so l am reposting it because there isn't anything even remotely controversial... i/g is getting very censorial. It said I broke their rules by trying to get likes. I'm just trying to show my appreciation. Thanks again. They removed that one too. So I’m putting it on UA-cam. Doesn’t feel good to have censors shoved down my mouth when I didn’t pick a fight. Thanks again, Matt and Aubrey; a unique episode.
Wow, what a brilliant conversation of finding “happy enough” in ourselves, life and partner!!! Very unique, deep and sincere conversation on things we sometimes don’t even know how to define or express. So much wisdom here!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
This is a brilliant interview. I love the part about loving oneself and how you both shared how you do that…. This is exactly what I needed to hear and I’m grateful that I was open to hearing it an immediately trying it with success 💖💖💖 love love love
You guys mention Poland and I'm from Poland 😊. I'm sending warm hugs for my Brothers on the journey, and of course for sisters too 😉❤️ It's been a nice journey so far dear Aubrey. It's a pleasure even when I'm not agreeing with You 😘. All the best dear Brother ❤
So so beautiful and helpful! Thank you guys for sharing. I found this just at the right time, as it relates so much fir the days I have ahead of me, starting tomorrow. I hope this will bring me some peace and calmness in my endeavors. 🙏🏽 Much love from Germany ❤
I am enjoying this conversation so much! These are thoughts that I have also explored within myself. On dealing with a harsh inner critic, my best approach has been to counter with self-compassion and tell her to be kind to me because we are all friends here 😄 So when Matthew mentioned compassion as well, that really resonated for me. Also when Aubrey spoke about integration of all our aspects. That resonates for me as well. Full, unconditional acceptance of all my parts. And as I learn and grow everyday I express them better ❤
What about when one person feels at home and safe with the other person…yet the other doesn’t feel that based on their own fears and perceptions, therefore cannot be vulnerable. And just leaves without communicating effectively where they are… and leave all they have built up over 23 years… leaving a trail of emotional destruction and pain. I too loved life and have lost the sense of myself and joy as a result.
Aubrey you come out with so many episodes i wanna watch with so many people i wanna learn from that I’m getting fomo from all the wisdom I am probably missing by not having time to listen to all these episodes😢😂 good problems to have💖
I just want u to know Im new catching up but the interview with Radha ..hit my soul brother my dad is still alive but I understand everything that was said I love you man I’m catch it up with your old videos and love the new!!!
Listening to Matthew speak about love makes it clear that I’ve never been loved or loved someone else. It’s a strange realization at 49 years old. I don’t think many people actually find it, especially those of us who are gay.
This makes me think of not knowing you and Vylana we’re having trouble until you guys announced having struggles and creating a program to market a solution.
Every man I know who's married is miserable. So finally the other day i asked one of my closest buddy 'if you could do it again, knowing what you know now' before i even finished the knowing, he said no, he said 'if you're feeling alone, just travel more, you have the money' and i said 'yeah but ... and he goes, look bro just don't especially not now a days' wow, just wow. And he's someone who never takes a strong stance on something. Marriage is just not it anymore!
People think being cool & confident is attractive, but I think being warm & vulnerable is.
So true for me as well
Although being confident is something that everyone should be! Period.
I decided to have a relationship with myself after my divorce of a twenty five year marriage… Got myself a ring and learned how to enJOY-just-my own company!
Best decision I’ve Eva made! Big Aloha from the shores of Kauai, out to each and everyone of you!
🌈🙌✨🌈🙌✨🌈🙌✨
I'm gonna buy myself a ring too!! Great idea!🎉🥂🍾
@@Mmmmkaaay I wear mine proudly!😅🥂
a friend of mine married herself and had a ceremony too that we all went to! Great party!!
today, 22.05.2024,
I AM starting over, engaging full shadow work and actual transmuting my shame, grief and insanity into force, fuel for actual full version of myself!
It is time to bring myself back to the world of living, vulnerability, personal responsibility and a lot of focusing on things that DO matter for ME!
Thank you Marcus, thank you Matthew!
Beautiful unfolding of Mathew's struggle, feels very relatable!
Best wishes, take care~
Wow. Aubrey , when you were talking to yourself brother, had me straight up just weeping without even understanding why. Powerful conversation men. Powerful!
I can completely relate to Matthew's self love example. I try to show up as a great, accepting friend with genuine love to others and once I started providing that for myself life really changed.
When you can make love for yourself you will be amazed by the amount of love you can produce on top of that for others.
I love this insight, and I'm just getting to this point! Excited to see where the journey takes me!
This was one of the deepest poignant conversations I’ve heard in a long long time. Bravo to you both for being so open, vulnerable, authentic, and deep.!! I’m going to listen to this again cause there’s so many jewels in it. Thank you, Marcus and Matthew. It’s a home run.
Love is universally what we all want. We can cover it up. But like the Sun still
shining behind the clouds love and kindness will always shine through ❤🎉
Listening to Matthew talk about tinnitus touched me deeply. First because I have it too and I know how it feels, also because it was because of his experience with it that he could relate and support his client with true empathy. We can fight our symptoms or we can learn from them. Everything comes back to love.
My two favorite divine masculines getting togetherr and speaking on the most fascinating subject : relationships🥰
Once I let go and surrendered to the tennitus, it no longer drive my will, I cou use that strength to see THE LIGHT, I can so relate to your experience! Really needed this reminder at 2:42 am today, Thank you both!
I love where this went. I have had a very difficult journey with grief, heartbreak and resentment for the last year. I've spent so much time alone, I live alone for the first time in my life, and becoming a positive sounding board for myself has been essential. Thanks for this conversation!
Best of luck to you in that journey Brett!
-Tim
I am in a very difficult relationship, but i can use it for my self growth.
It is my choise to stay.
How mean and disappointing it can feel, i take this time to grow.
I do not want to say "i deserve better".
I love him for what he is, now i have to love myself enough to really make a decision.
Thanks for leading so many people with pure honesty and emotions ❤
The voice of compassion, understanding, but mostly love. ❤ that is how you change how you start to see the world. Be kind to yourself and you'll see that kindness pour out to the ones around you.
🤧😌glad I tuned in when I did, and its a mixture of confirmation to things I’ve recently integrated and also gave such a shift to “baggage” I can unclaim💗
It is so great to be able to hear such honest, open hearted, conversation between two men who are doing their inner work. It's so refreshing!
I lost all hope in life really. When my mind inevitably moves toward hope for a new thing I have to kill it because the pain of the disappointment is much worse than living in the absence of emotion.
I feel like an hypocrite questionning the truthfulness of your conclusion since I very much relate to this feeling and have been under the influence of this line of thinking for a couple years now, not feeling alive like I used to, lacking the motivation to make the moves toward a better life because I lost my ability to trust that letting myself be hopeful about things will bring anything but the excruciating pain of disappointment and betrayal...but seeing your comment resonated with me and provoked a response from my intuition, or rather it has brought its volume up from the very quiet volume it usually stays in, quiet to the point where my noisy, chaotic mind almost always drowns it and prevent me from "hearing" it...but it's making me feel how this line of thinking is a dangerous, sinister lie that appears logical and like a safer way to live without leaving ourselves vulnerable to more disappointments and betrayal, but is actually deceiving us with half-truths, and prevents us from truly seeing how much more pain following it is ultimately bringing into our lives. I fully understand where you come from and I am sorry that you got hurt to the point where hope feels so dangerous that it can't be worth it, I have been/I am there also, but I have this deep "knowing" inside of me that tells me that this path - while appearing safer and less brutal, even sorta peaceful - ultimately only leads to the corruption, sickness and death of our soul...
I'm not calling you a liar by the way, I'm saying that this line of thinking is deceitful, it promises us a form of safety that is enticing after having been wounded deeply from following our hopes for love, joy, fulfillment, etc...but in moments of stillness where I'm less agitated and tormented by all the trauma I've accumulated, allowing me to find more clarity, it appears clear to me that this holding to this enticing belief is tricking us into making our lives infinitely more miserable than those past disappointments ever did to us, which puts our souls at risk of going through some seriously dark stuff, and recognizing myself in what you said, I wanted to share this intuition with you, with the hope that it may cause you to question if this belief really is true and if it really shields you from pain, or is allowing a deeper, more insidious form of suffering into your life. I myself still need to work through this stuff since I know that once anxiety takes back hold of me I will be enticed into falling back in this pattern of inaction and refusing to be hopeful and live accordingly, but something is telling me I need to fight this tendency, for my soul needs me to find back the courage of living with hope. I pray that you find a way to live that makes you feel alive and loving
@@AlbertoBalsalme Oh no! I get your point. You are right. The avoidance of life might save you pain now but it will end you. I know that very well.
When you roam the desert trying to find the oasis but end up stumbling on a mirage the thing you end up with is just sand escaping through your fingers. Yes, you might learn something in the process but if the situation persists long enough the only thing you will remember is your pain with nothing to offset it.
[See “you” as a generalization]
When nothing can mirror the thing you know you need, your mind becomes an illusion, an empty promise. You question if what you need even exists. Then you curse yourself because you need it. You blame your pain on your needs because you cannot blame it on anything else since there is no proof that your need is real. You might read it in a book or see it on a screen but that is too far removed from one's life to feel that is possible for yourself. Then comes deep envy, then it becomes bitterness that in turn becomes rage, which will end with the impulse to take from others what you don't have. This is how it will end you.
When I'm drowning in pain in the moment what can I do to calm down my system? There is no magic pill or spell that can help. Nothing in my reality ever showed me that I can find better relationships by putting in the effort. When I move from one person to the next, choosing completely different environments to maximise better outcomes, the result is the same. People that have no interest in going to the deep end. I just do not understand why those who I love to be with are not available and those who drain my energy are plenty around me. If I were to cut them off, I would be left with no one including family and friends. So, for me to be with other human beings I have to tolerate the pain they cause me.
I have to numb myself every day to try to reach the future.
@@AlbertoBalsalme thank u so much for writing that
literally came back to add a comment that i want to cut my heart out, cuz im feeling kinda low. and saw that. cheers
@AlbertoBalsalme thank you for sharing. This comment really helps me see my pain differently.
Pure delight with absolute favourite humans whom light up the truth in my soul, bless you both for sharing yourselves openly with the world… no mean feat!! Arohanui x
I really appreciate this conversation. I haven't listened all the way through yet... in fact, only up to min 31ish... but it's hitting the nail on the head of exactly what I needed to hear today as I was contemplating my own light/shadow. I've recognized there is still a contraction that comes when confronting the aspects of myself that can be brutal / cruel... It's a slight turning away and not really accepting those aspects of myself. The fear is that they'd run rampant and be destructive... I loved the simplicity and compassion with which you, Aubrey, said "because I'm bad. And I'm good". There was such a gorgeous integration there... and the minutes that followed that moment landed the lesson of the day for me -- from that integrated place THEN I CAN CHOOSE to act on my goodness, to make reparations where I've transgressed, to truly receive another and their humanity (and their brutality as it may manifest - so long as they, too, are inclined in the direction of choosing their goodness - most of the time!!!)
The Greatest Love of All ❤
Thank you both. I am a member of Matthew’s group, and appreciate the conversation. The discussion on self love was perfect, and something I really needed to hear and be reminded of today. There were many aha moments throughout your conversation. ☺️
What an incredible podcast. I got so much value out of it! Thank you🙏 I was especially struck with the conversation about kelp-jerky, pain, and the shower ritual. There was so much to unpack and immediately apply to daily life.
I loved the bit about gaining custody of our human! such a great convo, so many gems❤
was moved by your story of tinnitus and working through that. I have a similar story and it was relieving to hear your side of it. Thanks for sharing wishing you continued healing and peace.also very strange but I/G immediately removed this comment so l am reposting it because there isn't anything even remotely controversial... i/g is getting very censorial. It said I broke their rules by trying to get likes. I'm just trying to show my appreciation. Thanks again.
They removed that one too. So I’m putting it on UA-cam. Doesn’t feel good to have censors shoved down my mouth when I didn’t pick a fight.
Thanks again, Matt and Aubrey; a unique episode.
Wow, what a brilliant conversation of finding “happy enough” in ourselves, life and partner!!! Very unique, deep and sincere conversation on things we sometimes don’t even know how to define or express. So much wisdom here!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
So inspiring ! So beautiful to witness your conversation full of precious thoughts. MERCI ! Lots of love from France 🤍
Love it! My favorite podcasters coming together once again! This time even more deep and mature. Magical. Thanks a lot ❤
This was a beautiful sensitively honest conversation
This is a brilliant interview. I love the part about loving oneself and how you both shared how you do that…. This is exactly what I needed to hear and I’m grateful that I was open to hearing it an immediately trying it with success 💖💖💖 love love love
Such a meaningful deep dive, I needed this. Thank you Aubrey and Matthew for sharing your wisdom!
I love you guys. I need people like you in my life.
You guys mention Poland and I'm from Poland 😊. I'm sending warm hugs for my Brothers on the journey, and of course for sisters too 😉❤️
It's been a nice journey so far dear Aubrey. It's a pleasure even when I'm not agreeing with You 😘. All the best dear Brother ❤
This one is powerful! Thanks guys!
I’m the first to comment how exciting I see that as a sign to listen to the whole thing
Fantastic podcast ! I’ve learned to deal with pain not easy but obtainable ❤everyday anything can happen
So so beautiful and helpful! Thank you guys for sharing. I found this just at the right time, as it relates so much fir the days I have ahead of me, starting tomorrow. I hope this will bring me some peace and calmness in my endeavors. 🙏🏽
Much love from Germany ❤
Thank You so much Audrey, this interview was great. I am embelished by your wisdom...Much Love for both of you 🎉🎉❤🎉🎉
Thank you for all your golden nuggets of wisdom... Such purity of inspiration. Keep shinning
1:33:11 I am weeping ❤
Wow! Incredibly insightful and inspiring interview! My first time watching this channel. I got so much from this. Thank you!
Great conversation between the two of you, Aubrey... Applicable advice!! 👏👏
I am enjoying this conversation so much! These are thoughts that I have also explored within myself.
On dealing with a harsh inner critic, my best approach has been to counter with self-compassion and tell her to be kind to me because we are all friends here 😄
So when Matthew mentioned compassion as well, that really resonated for me.
Also when Aubrey spoke about integration of all our aspects. That resonates for me as well. Full, unconditional acceptance of all my parts. And as I learn and grow everyday I express them better ❤
Great conversation! ❤
What about when one person feels at home and safe with the other person…yet the other doesn’t feel that based on their own fears and perceptions, therefore cannot be vulnerable. And just leaves without communicating effectively where they are… and leave all they have built up over 23 years… leaving a trail of emotional destruction and pain. I too loved life and have lost the sense of myself and joy as a result.
Aubrey you come out with so many episodes i wanna watch with so many people i wanna learn from that I’m getting fomo from all the wisdom I am probably missing by not having time to listen to all these episodes😢😂 good problems to have💖
I just want u to know Im new catching up but the interview with Radha ..hit my soul brother my dad is still alive but I understand everything that was said I love you man I’m catch it up with your old videos and love the new!!!
Listening to Matthew speak about love makes it clear that I’ve never been loved or loved someone else. It’s a strange realization at 49 years old. I don’t think many people actually find it, especially those of us who are gay.
Love n light
great conversation!!!
🥰🥰
Great one!
I’m new here Aubrey and I’m going to need you to start recording some meditation videos 😂 you have such a soothing voice
Yeay amazing 🤩 I am the first commentator wohoooo 🎉
🎉😂
1:15:00 made me laugh hard, there's something so funny about shit talking someone's pickleball game
The Greatest Love of All Whitney Houston
This makes me think of not knowing you and Vylana we’re having trouble until you guys announced having struggles and creating a program to market a solution.
15:00 I realize how all of that wasn‘t the case in my last relationship.
😂😂😂Icky Sojen sorry if grandma spelled it wrong!! YES YES YES!! (He would be in the Canadian Room of hell cheering for Toronto Maple Leafs)
I too am attracted to depth, Aubrey.....
I’m 50 and never had fuck yes 😂if you plz send me my person before I’m
So old I’ll be infirm by the time he comes along !!
I choose to always have a plan A…
❤❤❤❤❤
💙💙💙💙
✨🥲💔🌹 💯 true ✨
Most people aren’t happy in a marriage
Every man I know who's married is miserable. So finally the other day i asked one of my closest buddy 'if you could do it again, knowing what you know now' before i even finished the knowing, he said no, he said 'if you're feeling alone, just travel more, you have the money' and i said 'yeah but ... and he goes, look bro just don't especially not now a days' wow, just wow. And he's someone who never takes a strong stance on something. Marriage is just not it anymore!
@@ibizawavey8630I agree with your buddy...it's a prison😢
@ibizawavey8630 and I am a female 😂😂😂
No , it's more like a bank you can only get out of it what you put in! 💕
@@esterdorweiler9740banks take all your money to do what they please with
Men .My advice stay single.you will lose everything.Be like me and have a good car.More faithful.
Watch Joe Rogan Tucker Carlson interview.
This comment is the most liked
Matthew Hussey is the kind of guy who sleeps with a girl, and then in the morning says “It’s not you, it’s me.”
I wish they would've talked about stoicism because it would help so many people🖤🤍