How to Choose the Right Person in Love
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- Опубліковано 30 чер 2024
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My two gay Dads are in Love.
@thematthewhussey I can’t thank you enough for your advice all these years! I met you in 2014 and in your last book you wrote “Don’t settle Daniella” Matthew hussey. I believed that from that moment and all I can tell you is with all the heartache and disappointment all these years later (14 years of doing online dating and speed dating) when I felt I was being defeated and a difficult job, to finally being with a man who for the last 6 weeks has FINALLY accepted me for who I am; the good bad and ugly! We became official last Friday and at this point he has met my family. Everyone loved him. Now, we are figuring out if we want to live together in September or wait. But I am thanking you Matthew for your consistent advice even when I didn’t want to hear it. I totally feel waiting for this man was worth the wait and both of us can see a long term and happy future together! Congrats again on your book; just got it today and can’t wait to read it! Hugs and with full gratitude! 🫶🏻💖
I think Matthew Hussey has one of the healthiest views and values of relationships on UA-cam. It's so different to the red pill views on women (they tell you to treat women as disposable). I'm so glad men like Matthew can preach more healthier views on women and relationships.❤❤❤❤
I agree!!
Stephen’s haircut looks really nice on him.
Is he married?
@@alienmoonmom1361 I do not know but, he seems like a straightforward (no merde), gifted (writer), and loving person (gauging from his interaction with and support of his brother, Matthew); it seems that he would be a beautiful person to be in a happy relationship with. There’s also a subtle vulnerability that peeps out from him every now and again which is attractive. The haircut is very flattering and i hope he keeps it. Men tend to neglect themselves when going for their goals.
Stephen seems a little sweeter than Matt , Matt is very wise and serious . Stephen is huggable . Sssssshhhh don’t tell
Hair transplant?
@@hdshjs agreed… if so it’s a high quality situation
Spot on about training yourself not to be addicted to bad stuff - sugar, behavior, etc. When you don't have it everyday, you don't crave it everyday. You develop cravings for the healthy stuff. Yes - healthy relationships, too. Good job, guys!
How I would love, to ead a book written by Audrey. She seems as if she’s got so much wisdom and insights. I hope that’s in the cards. I imagine it would be a very gentle book because she seems so gentle.
THIS convo about vulnerability hangover is 99% the reason women get frustrated with men not opening up. Society conditioning of men 😔. When someone is being vulnerable makes me feel safe with them. More important than sexy
Nicely put!
LOL - Do you have any idea how many times what I have said while being open has later been weaponized? The lesson is never open up to a woman. Ever.
@@thisisreallyverysilly vice versa, same but it's not every woman or eye man. we have all been hurt by each other but we can't stop trying to change the narrative or what's the point?
@@thisisreallyverysilly Appropriate name. Pick one: Never open up and have unsatisfying connections with people which you don't desire, or be openly and earnestly vulnerable- while knowing that the type of person YOU WANT as a friend, as a lover- would be tender with those vulnerable emotions; and reap the reward of an honest, empathetic and reciprocal relationship. The person who is afraid to be vulnerable is equally as unproductive as the person who mishandles vulnerability, because neither are emotionally mature enough for a relationship.
There is always an opportunity to meet someone who treats you the way you desire, but also you always have the opportunity to work on being a better person for yourself, and for a partner. Values > attachments.
A person who isn't mature enough to handle your emotional vulnerability with care whether they just stay silent, say something negative, leave, whatever- It just shows they aren't in the right place to connect with you. The more you blow the proportion up of 'vulnerability' into this 'unspeakable thing', the harder and more traumatising that vulnerability becomes. Own yourself, own your values.
"Never open up to a woman" is trauma speaking. Replace "a woman" in that statement, with your mother or father, your family, your friends, and see how lonely, embittered and passionless life becomes when you feel that vulnerability is something to be trodden on and abused by others, rather than a way to embolden and integrate yourself emotionally and develop deep and enriched connections.
What is hidden in everything you're afraid of? Everything you need to find.
My book arrived yesterday.
I am currently going through a divorce, and not quite ready to hop into dating yet. In fact, I am not sure if I want to date at all in the future, or just embrace being single. (I’m 63 and just not sure I have it in me to get my heart broken yet again.)
Nevertheless, I do listen to your advice, and did order the book.
I jumped into the book at chapter 14, surviving heartbreak, and also the chapters on Core Confidence & Happy Enough. Good stuff.
Now I’ll go back to the beginning. 🙂
Thank you
Matthew, you’ve been with me from the beginning of my relationship three years ago to the end two months ago. I’ll be starting your book as soon as this video ends and I appreciate you being with me as I move on. 😎
Matthew, thank you for opening up like this. I just want to say, I’ve watched you for many years, and especially in comparison to many people giving advice to the public, I think your message has always had credibility and consistency. I know you mention how much you’ve changed, but your fundamental concepts have stayed the same, and I think that is incredible for someone in your position. Many people come up with gimmicks or say things they aren’t sure of and then change it up the next week entirely, and I never see you do that. All that is to say, I don’t think the fact that you were still figuring many things out was to your detriment at all, it’s very impressive that you stuck to things that you were more sure on, and they have held true all this time.
@@rajkyoutube29 I think you replied to the wrong comment?
I'm not the type of woman that values the wrong things. I don't care for how much money the guy makes, I don't care for their appearance, I'm empathetic, I'm happy and kind, I take of myself, go to gym, have a good work, make my own money, and still doesn't find someone who respect me and wants to commit, witch leads me to think that love is not to me.
My book arrived yesterday and I'm excited to start reading it this upcoming weekend!
Me too!
I appreciate your humbleness, honesty and how you present yourself. I am feeling confident your words will guide me with my journey in loving myself as well as that awesome guy who is waiting for me!
Moving away from shaming, competitive, unreliable friends was a big step for me. It's tough going the first year or so, until you've got actual friends instead of frenemies! But it definitely helps when moving towards healthier romantic partners. Also starts to develop the anti- narc shield too! They get bored 😅
Thank you for this discussion, it has such value to me, knowing that it is okay to take my time and find someone organically. Addicted to that feeling of euphoria, has been my struggle, and this no longer fills my cup at 75. I am responsible to make myself happy, that is not someone else’s responsibility. I am learning to do things, get involved, have experiences, live life. If I meet that compatible someone to share my remaining years, that would be lovely, but it would need to be good for both. You both were brilliant today. I have been in a program that has cost me dearly, but lacks the real substance needed to teach the skills to build a strong healthy relationship. I have been that person and in those relationships, looking for love in all the wrong places. ☺️
My pre-ordered book is arriving tomorrow! Yay! ✨
“Now you see the real me. So f you!” Sooooo cute and funny Matt! 😂 And relatable af!
Great conversation! I just started reading the book and am loving it :)
SUCH great questions and depth in this conversation. Thank you for sharing this with us ❤
Watching/Listening this as I head to the gym. 20 min left - great conversation from you both!!!! See you shortly for 1GH ❤☺️
Im so glad I chose to listen to this. Although im a woman, I identified with most things and experiences discussed here and its soo good to have the validation. I also loved the analogy of a builder in a partnership and the 4 steps you described all make sense as I’m looking through the lense of my own relationships. Thanks for sharing wisdom with us!
Ive been watching Matt’s videos for some time now and it’s really nice to hear him come out if his shell. Ahhh the power of love of a woman…. ;)
Stephen’s back! i have been wondering where he had gone, missed him on the chat! glad you’re back Stephen 😊
Such a need convo Matthew speaks right to my heart ❤️
Great interview...Matthew you teach me how to love others and most importantly myself
Watching this video on repeat and relate to all your points! ❤
Finally, the one important podcast we are all waiting for 🔥 Now, please do one with Audrey’s perspective to make this conversation whole ❤ I love to hear her wisdom & thoughts as a woman 🙌
A good reminder of alot of things. Brene brown speaks about when vulnerability to expose your true self is met with compassion thats where true connection is made - to the wrong person can add to debris though. Glad you got to exoerience the former with Audrey. I resonate with the feeling of when dating healthy at first feels boring - peaceful to the nervous system when no longer triggered!
Congrats 🎉Matthew!!!! 👏 What a special and exciting time in your life :)
Just got my book yesterday, gonna start reading it today 😀
Of all of the podcasts I have watched Steve had the most interesting and perspective questions! Keep going :)))
Whoa, Stephen, you look so handsome!!! I didn't even recognize you at first with that new look!
Steve is so good looking. . ❤.Great job! Keep it up!
When did Steven get so hot? 😜 he’s always been a cutie but love the new look! You two have the best chemistry ever!
Love the book so far Matthew!
I was traveling back from India the day of your live event (May 4th), and I am so sorry I missed that opportunity. But I came home to find my pre-ordered book waiting for me. 😍 Coincidentally, this is the perfect time for this book. I'm diving in. 😊
Collision, activation energy, dopamine cycles... I feel this is a biochemistry lecture 😅
Jokes aside, I love your work ❤
One of the best podcasts, and all of the podcasts are very good, so that says a lot.
I've been following your advice for over 12 years and learned so much from you. I am now in a long term relationship and still find that much of the advice is as applicable (would love if there was more on the struggles of starting a family, having kids and how it affects relationships - I assume it will happen when you'll start this path yourself). My favorite advice is still - "I'm at x, you should come!" - It's brilliant and worked every time (even if only to learn that the guy is just not as invested). Looking forward to reading the book. H
Stephen looks so much better now WoW Good for him!!!! Another example of men should try their best to improve their look.
I'm looking forward to buying and reading this book.
I've tried 3 different times to get some kind of answer on how to get over a relationship with a Narcissist..I'm dying here
Matthew has a conversation with Dr. Ramini, who is an expert in narc abuse. I'd totally recommend that interview.
I went back over and over again for 27 years, finally when I saw him as the Narc he is, I am ready to let him go.... and run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. I hope you can too!!
When you find post the link cos I am also in need hah
That's a whole detox off of a person who is literally addictive to you.
Love the hair Stephen👍🏾
Amazing questions and responses. Great brother team.
Yes! Love needs space!! That's my cue to let go of me wanting to start something with someone I like very much. The timing isn't right and we're most likely not very compatible either. I need to clear the space in my brain!
Wonderful.. thank you both.. 🥰
Love Stephen, intelligent and charming🥰
Wow! You guys really look like siblings today! Love the hair Stephen!
Thank you! 📖 💕 💞
I got it. Coming soon. Amazon
I'm curious where Audrey learned to deal so well with relationship issues.
I love his brother ❤
I got it already!!!!!
When are you announcing the raffle winners?
Dont be silly .Stay single.You will lose every thing.I have been there.At least my car is faithful.
Women can have children long after they turn 30. Women are fertile for as long as they have periods & ovulations which is over the age of 55. But anyway, not all women want children - it’s more worry than joy!
Exactly. So many more women are having children at 40 or older these days. And many women are deciding not to become mothers, for many reasons.
Of course they can. However, the risk of having a miscarriage at the age of 40+ is significantly higher than in younger years.
The point he was trying to make wasn’t at what age women can have kids, you missed it completely…
I think they're missing the fact that apps give many people a way to meet those that they NEVER would have crossed paths with in real life. I'm disappointed they are perpetuating the introverts dream way of dating. No. There are ALL kinds, and it's simply a faster way to find others than relying on who you might accidentally bump into in your daily routine.
Awesome
Hi Matthew, I’ve pre ordered the book from India last month but didn’t receive the link to join your event on 4th May. Can you please help. I’ve already entered my order number on the website which gave me access to happiness after a break up playlist on the love life App
Hey there ✨ Please email our support team at support@matthewhussey.com and they'll send you the link!" -Bianca, MH team
men and women are very very similar. Bc - women feel the same as this
WoW no one wearing Crocs😅
Order the bloody thing hahaha❤❤❤
What time is the May 4th event?
It's at 6 PM UK Time! -Bianca, MH team
Sam Vaknin said: "100 years ago women had casual sex twice in life time. Today women have casual sex twice a year, men 6 times a year.
He said teenagers are not dating at all today, to know each other´s interests, and know each other intimately, the hobbies etc. They just follow trends.
he said it changed with teenagers within 10 years....while in previous centuries such big change with teenagers dating would take 100 years....like exchanging interests and innocent form of dating full of acceptance and friendhip and respect etc.
so the media caused it. evenn teenagers dont date in normal fashion.
if media can cause such big chgange in 10 years, why people blame only one gender.
Maybe people need to look how media and corporations behave and brainwash people and teenagers also are inspired by it, to not develop realtiosnhips in healthy way.
Nobody is dating in healthy way so nobody has a real relationship, or maybe only 20 percent have healthy relaltionship, because they are dating and knowing each other intimately and emotional intimacy, and knowing each other interests, and not having sex early. People should be inspired by the old generation, where they were dating just to know each other.
You guys make it hard to date. I, at 30, only want to date men who can use words and understand themselves and communicate like this. It's not common to find many that have these words or insights. Or even want to learn (and then not arrogantly preach). This is my standard as an intelligent loving woman
Agree
💛💙
❤❤❤❤
They both have fhe same cute small ears
I am sorry to say but the story he tells about how he treated her unfairly and she handled it so great shows some selfishness like he has vulnerability hangover and he is cold again instead of being grateful he is so accepted. Like maybe get over yourself a little bit and appreciate what you have. I am sure they are great together and stuff but i think it’s not a nice standard to expect the other person to be compassionate and empathetic when you are acting poorly, it means you think your needs are more important than theirs. Maybe she got hurt in that process by his behavior.
I don't bother .Got used once.Stay single and lonely.Better off.
The truth is... Dating has gotten a lot harder for men mostly
Well... I think it's two sides of the same coin. It's harder for men because women have educated themselves about toxic behaviour and won't tolerate it anymore, so on the flip side its hard for women because men haven't caught up and are still behaving toxic so most don't even make it past the profile or first convo
@@the.toxic.phoenixif you genuinely think that then you are really outside the curve.
Love is right there in the mirror.
NOT in a relationship.
I wish you would stop touting this lie.
Oops! You can't, it's how you make your money🤭
Matthew, you talked about your tinnitus in your book. I also struggle with it and listening to your story was helpful. I would suggest trying benfotiamine (B1) to see if maybe it helps at least manage it.