Deen is not subjective, it's objective so the answer should be. If we fail to put deen over culture, eventually will lost both the deen and positive culture. May Allah bless us and protect from all misguidance.
The big problem is, when mother in law is very aggressive, abusive and extremely unappreciative. Poor man couldn't find any solution. I know a woman, who has 7 Sons, and they tried to provide her everything to keep her happy and give her a good life, but just because of her abusive behavior none of the wives want to serve her, not only that, but her own sons don't wanna live with their mother because of her abusive treatment. She would scream, curse, lie and get physical. I feel sad for her, as she has destroyed her life by her own, and she still didn't learn her lessons.
It could be she would have a mental illness which makes her behave like that. No normal human behaves like that. I wish people had much awareness regarding it.
18 minutes and 24 seconds, but Dr Zakir Naik refuses and fails to answer the issue directly and honestly that 1) Islamically a woman has the right to her own seperate housing according to her husband's means and 2) the duty to care for parents is on the children, sons AND daughters both. It is *NOT* on the daughter-in-laws. It is sad to see Dr. Naik go against established Islamic and rulings and instead promote his country's Indian culture. He has done this twice on this issue and this is why you can't blindly trust what he says. He is in fact innovating things by mixing cultural traditions with Islam which is wrong and sinful. *A wife has no duty of obligation to servd or even live with her Inlaws. The husband cannot force her.* He should shop being lazy and instead of claiming he loves his parents he should show it by taking care of them, serving them instead of making his wife a free servant. This issue stems from subcontinental culture. This is not common among other Muslims. Wwtch the vjdos *'Wife is not obliged to serve or live with her in-laws* AND *'The Duties of A Woman To Her Parents-in-Law'* both by sheik AssimAlHakeem Or listen to other bayans by Mufti Menk, Noman Ali Khan, Tariq Jameel, later Dr Israr Ahmed etc.
Very well said. What about those parents who don’t have sons.Dr Zakir Naik is being partial.only talking about the husband’s parents and what about the wife’s parents?
@muslimaaaagirl he wouldn't just like she wouldn't 🙂she isn't obliged to take care of his parents just like he isn't obliged to take care of hers it's basic but y'all just can't understand isn't it
4:34 Men are the caretakers of women, as men have been provisioned by Allah over women and tasked with supporting them financially. And righteous women are devoutly obedient and, when alone, protective of what Allah has entrusted them with.1 And if you sense ill-conduct from your women, advise them ˹first˺, ˹if they persist,˺ do not share their beds, ˹but if they still persist,˺ then discipline them ˹gently˺.2 But if they change their ways, do not be unjust to them. Surely Allah is Most High, All-Great.
What are you even saying and pls the least you do is listen ti asimalhakkim that guy has 5 daughters and not once he can say yes you can serve your in laws he just says indirectly that throw the parents of a guy out of the house and be queen of the house don’t listen to him sister he will destroy your marriage
I had so many negative thoughts regarding cooking n cleaning at my in laws house but after hearing Dr. Zakir Naik now i understand this test that I'm going through. I will surely try to help my husband take care of his parents because right now my siblings are taking care of my parents. It's all about the situation guys. And you won't be getting virtuous people who will speak sugar to u all the time. Sabr is important for which u will be rewarded. And jannah is worth even more than your biggest of sabr. Plz don't try and create difficult life for your husband.
You are dmb ,this is not u going through test ,this is test for him and his Imaan ,it's a right given by Allah to women and if he denies it ,sin for him on the other hand you don't serve his parents not a sin for you. Stop giving those stoopid advices to others “dont make it difficult for him blah blah " women also have parents many of them don't have brother either to take care when they can survive husband's parents ain't going to d!e either .
Ok if you wants to help them that's fine but if other women doesn't want to do it then they should keep a maid for them or husband should help her but she cannot be forced to become a free servant of her inlaws
@@goldenxyoon702and also if your thinking is this then you will not be able to stay in a marriage for long time. If you will get old you will want your son and daughter to take care of you but think what will happen then. If their wives and husband refuse to cook food for you. i.e. if you are cooking food for your husband then cook some extra for your husband's mother and father if they are unable to do so. And if a wife is unable to do so then there is no difference between her and a contractual marriage like in west where a man can contract a woman to have his sons and daughters so that his lineage doesn't end. And that wife is ignorant about Islam's advice for a Muslim to help old age people.
The wife is not obliged to serve the in laws in Islam..And the husband has no right to force her to do so..She can do it out of kindness or as a part of humanity to serve any one..not just her in laws
The virtue starts from near ones so if a woman is virtuous and finds her parents in law sick and old she would definitely come first to help them and serve them ...
@@alitopsecret a wife is only obliged to obey her husband in what is just, allowed and halal. Husband can not deman, wife stays with inlaws or serve inlaws. In Islam separate home is a wife's right and she is not responsible for her parents. But subcontinental desi culture wants to twist Islam so its fits into the culture. Those boys forget, a daughter/wife is responsible for her own parents. It's more interesting to question why first sons claim they live their parents and that's why they want to live with them. So they make wife live with his parents and siblings. But now they also force the wife to care for and serve her inlawe. So in reality the joint family system is simply a ploy to turn the wife into an unpaid maid. Such sons should consider why they don't want to care for their own parents, who brought them into this world, and why they insist on taking way somebody else's daughter forcing her to abandon her own parents and serve her inlaws instead, which Allah says is the duty of children, not daughters in law. Such boys shoukd not marry but stay with and serve their parents. If they need help, they can hire help, a maid. Don't marry and then oppress the wife. . A pious God fearing Muslim husband will never force his wife to take on his duties, nor will he take way the wife's rights. He will know obedience to Allah comes first. My answer will undoubtedly not satisfy you. So I urge you to seek knowledge from other sheikhs who will confirm this. You see, Islam and culture are two different things. Your parents, your duty.
I've noticed that these questions of looking after the mother is usually by the man/husband wanting to know (in short) of HOW TO MAKE his wife look after HIS mother. And the answers are usually in the same manner, meaning that they address the men's point of view. But on the other hand no one is questioning or answering of how to get the husband to look after his mother-IN-LAW, i.e. HER mother. And even have scenarios where the husband bans or hinders his wife from her taking care of her parents. When are we going to get answers of getting the man to look after his own mother rather than just make ONLY financial contributions (more like maybe make financial, coz now we have cases like that) but leaving the rest of the hard work to others, expecting to collect the rewards as if he has done EVERYTHING. When are we going to get answers that talk about the men/husbands also look after HER mother/parents just as she is HELPING HIM look after his? Surely we have examples of men looking after parents and parent-in-laws. I vaguely remember one example I heard from a lecture from a very long time ago one sahaba looking after his parents. I would quote more of what I remember but it would deviate the conversation elsewhere. Main thing in mentioning this example is that HE was looking after HIS OWN MOTHER BY HIMSELF, cooking etc, rather than allocate it to someone else by paying them! Why have we stopped teaching this to our men!?!?!?
May Allaah Almighty save all from getting a wife who has thinking like yours. Regarding your question, who will look after her parents then the answer is Her Parents will be looked after by their son i.e. her brother. If girls want to take take care of their own parents then they should either not marry, or marry someone from orphange or find someone who is willing to become ghar jawayi. If a girls marries in a big family then it is understood that she will take care of her in-laws.
@muslimaaaagirl its said in the Quran that if there is a prob btween the mother and the wife its best to move out. Secondly every sons have to build his own home. Its also a wifes right to demand for a home of her own. Living seperate doesnt mean abandoing ur parents.. wife left her parents bt did she abandon? Nope same living seperate doest mean abandoning dem u can live in another home and still visit ur parents.
As a small answer no. The wife has only duties about her husband and children and her parents. The husband has duties about his wife, children and his parents. If the wife has time and want it yes she can but she must not do this. Because the children must take care of parents like parents take care of children. The command that you should take care them goes for the children. Avoid to mix your wishes or culture with islam. Islam has clearly say children should take her parents. Everyone who say but obey blabla obey which is not against allah. These means in things what is his rights. These means raise children, take care house and serve husband thats all.
Dr.Zakir naik is answering more personally I guess. The question is not about your life. And explaining more details wrt Quran and hadeeth about the responsibility of mother, but not MOTHER IN LAW Plz make a note
Sir, As per majority of scholars a wife has household obligation only towards husband not in laws. But it's Sunnah to take care of them. Not only haram order but it should not violate individual right. Like a husband cannot order wife to do job. But job is halal. Anyway, we should always try to do good and more so that Allah grant us Jannah...
it isn't sunnah for a woman to take care of her in laws at all. it is merely a good act, like feeding a cat in the street, no obligation as much as it is going out to look for hungry animals to feed.
Husband should help the wife too at home bcoz she's physically tired n mentally too wif children and ****everyday at home. I had been a caretaker for my dad 5 years alone its tough. Each day from morning till nite. SO exhausted n not able to have ample rest till u gone mentally crazy. Take note dont abuse she's not a maid.
Yes, he doesn't want to answer clearly because he puts culture over Deen. Notice he never speaks or considers the wife's parents. He is talking about it being a man and based on his own Indian cultural point of view. Islamically this issue is clear. There is no duty on the daughter in law to care for, serve or obey her inlaws. No matter how much Desi males will emotionally blackmail girls, wives Islam will never change. The care taking and serving of parents is on the children. The sons and daughters. Not the daughters in law. The wife is responsible for her own parents, her husband and her children.
But he did not answer the question accurately or correctly. He avoided answering it clearly. He talked about culture instead of Deen. The answer to the question, if it is fardh for daughter in law to serve her inlaws, is NO. The wife is not in any way obligated to or responsible for her i laws. Serving, cooking, cleaning, washing, carrying, taking care of parents is the *childrens* duty and fardh on the children. Not the daughters in law or the sons in law. A wife is only responsible for her own parents, her husband and her children. A husband can not force her or threaten her to serve orv even live with his parents. She is also entitled to seperate housing in Islam. All this is already established in Islamic rulings. But Dr. Zakir Nqik spoke against Islam on this topic. So I don't think we want majority of scholars to promote their local culture instead of Islam. Joint family system and daughters in law serving and caring for inlaws is subcontinental culture, not Islam.
@@saira_6151 I agree with you and so far I learned I also agree that the daughter in laws are not responsible for their parents in laws even if her husband tells her to but I don’t think Dr. Naik spoke against islam. Yes there is probably wrong wordings but I think he just tried to suggest a solution for these type of problems. He didn’t answer this question in an islamic point of view. He didn’t even say that this is how it works in islam. He just simply tried to suggest it and thats what I think. If you think a different way that’s okay ❤️
@@saira_6151if you apply like this, you will die alone In your old age. That's why Allah has told to help you elderly. But you feminist can't even agree with Allah.
men are also entitled to marry more than 1 wife! being settled for 1 wife is subcontinent stuff, not islamic. Islam says marry more than 1! How do you like Islam now? Feminist babe go study Islam!@@saira_6151
its a kind thing to serve your mother in law. if she's kind to you. you don't have to look after a nasty mother in law who says you're like her daughter just as a licence to scold you and belittle you.
Sometimes the mother in law gets old.. Sometimes they cant afford a maid.. Just caring like a human would for another definitely she mustnt slog like a servant..
Zakir Naik didn't answer clearly because he believes in culture over deen and culture makes daughters in law into maids for her husband's family. *Islamically you as a daughter-in-law have no duty to live with, obey, or serve your inlaws and your husband cannot suggest, force or order you to serve or live with them* The duty to care for parents in their old age is on their children, not their daughters in law. Such guys want the credit for taking care of their parents but they don't want to actually care frheir parents. It's also strange how such subcontinental guys forget that a girl also has parents, they also grow old, they also may not be able to afford help,, and why should they when they have their child or children. Not every family has many children and not all have sons. Some families have only daughters or only one daughter. Yet the same culture expects that daughter must abandon her own parents and they can die alone and instead serve inlaws. Totally illogical and unislamic. *If you want clear answers, look up somebody like Sheikh Assim Al Hakeem* He answers this question in the vido titled *'The Duties of A Woman To Her Parents-in-Law'* He speaks from Islam not culture. Dr Zakir Naik speaks from culture.
@@saira_6151 although I agree with your point If a man was to work less and earn less to complete chores and take care of his parents, the wife would be upset with the husband for making less money and having less spending money even though she should be patient and support him as his parents come first So usually, many men will ask wives to take care of parents while the man meets financial needs of family around him No one should be forced to do that but plenty of women are Ok with that
@@Mainlyeverything Thank you for your reply, brother. Actually most women are not OK with it. They do it because theyre expected to and told its their duty (fardh). The alternative is they can't easily get married or will get divorced. We must separate deen and culture.. The reason you stated is not why men make their wives serve her inlaws. It is an ancient hlndu custom predating islam which we have inherited. Our society and culture were and still are patriarchal. This is a tradition which serve the men. They get a sarvantfor free and the same oeuiole will restrict the wife from contacting or visiting her own parents. After all, a wife is a daughter and she is responsible for her own parents. But this culture expects her to abandon her own parent saying she should simply view her inlaws as her parents after marrige. Again, in Islam your parents remain your parents both before and after marriage. A woman does not lose her identity which is why in Islam women do not take the husband's name. With the joint family system and daughters in law serving their inlaws is a matter of entitlement. Nobody appreciates that what she is doing is beyond her duties, count as AHSAAN. Rather she is forced to abandon her rights and her own parents. If she refuses, she will not be seen as a good wife and her parents will be blamed for not raising her to be a good daughter in law. The role as the wife, interestingly, comes second. Interestingly Muslim men both at the time of the Nabi and the sahabah, and for centuries afterwards managed both their wives but also cared for their own parents. Even today outside the subcontinent this is still largely the way its done. Its just our Desi culture which we won't let go off. Not with such one sided benefits. Many asoects of subcontinental cultures are at odds with Islam. That's why getting knowledge of not only your Islamic duties but also your rights is important. A wife has no right to keep her husband from serving and caring for his parents. She also can't demand, he live or provide for her beyond his means like luxury. A husband provides from his means and she knew his means before marrying him. The husband must balance and do justice to his relationships both with his wife and his parents. We must also not forget a wife is a daughter and she has duty to care for her own parents. Now if you ask such husbands if they will return the favor they will balk at the mere idea and laugh it off.
@@baganthekerannaghor8161where did the son come from? Mothers in law treat daughters in law like servants and daughters in law do the same too. Stop victimizing on set of group.
@@friend_account90 Sorry to see your reply. I am not victimizing anyone. Son comes from mother and a daughter comes from mother too. No one is allowed to treat badly anyone. A daughter comes from another family leaving her won comfort zone. She needs to be taken care of and that’s the rule of Islam. And if a mother in law is being treated badly then the son is too blame. A daughter in law can’t misbehave if the son doesn’t allow it to happened in the first place. But when mother is wrong son doesn’t do or can do much because she is the mother. Whole world knows about the relationship between mother in law and daughter in law. Nothing to hide or promote. Son came from Mother it doesn’t give her the license to treat daughter in law like a servant.
Asalamualikum Dr zakir naik.... I have a similar question... Like.. After marriage my in laws treated me oppressively and tried to separate me from husband.... But alhamdulillah did not succeed.... And during those days my husband wouldn't stand for justice but keep saying... It's my mother cannot oppress her... So have patience.... Then a time arrived when my mother in law adopted her grand daughter and also gave space to her younger daughters family in house and asked us to have a nuclear family... So we separated our kitchens and floors..... For about 14 years until my sister in law left to a new house with her family.... Now my mother in law is left with a teen grand daughter..... And my husband after all these years expect me to start staying with mother in law.. And grand daughter.... I'm denying for the reason that for gods sake I may take care of mother in law but not the grand daughter whose parents are alive and I have young sons over 17,18 years...
Is it not a duty of daughter to take of her parent's when they reach their old age.For this thing women should seek husband's permission.But when it comes to his parents he commands and says it just becomes wife's duty to take care of his parents.Husband doesn't even show equal participation.
Why do you listen to your manager in office or a teacher in school or university. Then isnt that an oppressing culture for you. Don't denigrate women who take care of their husbands and look after their happiness. If you can't keep your husband happy better sister don't get married bcz your mentality can create issues between two families. It's a part of akhlaq which unfortunately most of the women today are lacking. They think of this as being servant bcz they have been taught that servants are less respected in society. And then we talk about our rights while we have always killed the rights of others. It's very simple When prophet Musa AS got married her wife asked him to look and take care of her father. So when a prophet or a husband can do it why can't wife if it makes her husband happy.
@@anniekh1782 if you expect your wife to cook for your parents then, she can also expect you to pay the bills, look after her parents .. it goes both ways. It's called having a good akhlaq.
Sisters, I've found this holiday destination that I need to share with you. I can go for however long I want as many times as I want and my husband never come with me. (that's called independence). I don't don't pay a penny for accommodation, food and there's even a chauffeur. I just put my feet up as there's a creche for my kids a child minder and even a bodyguard and security to take care of my kids and myself. No cleaning, no cooking, there's a maid who does all of this. There's free wifi if I want to spend endless hours sharing pics and videos on my phone. Whenever I go there I see my Mum and Dad (who are elderly) being pampered and they never seem to ask me to do anything. My kids call their their son and daughter in law uncle and aunt and I just thought this man and woman were volunteers working in this holiday resort. Everytime I go the menu changes - they must have a full time chef. I've just come back after a weeks' stay and will be there again next weekend. -- Sincere advice to our sisters; When you visit/stay over at your parents house, please be mindful that your brother and sister in law are also trying to have stability to maintain and raise their family.
I feel like Dr. Zakir is avoiding to answer this question in the right way due to the Indian culture of the wife serving the mom in law! The son can never force his wife to serve his mother. If a woman says she doesn't want to take care of the mum in law, the husband has to make arrangements to take care of his parents. There is no sin on a woman if she tells her husband she doesn't want to serve his parents - because this is her right. A husband cannot ask his wife to obey him by giving up her rights!
Stop beating around the bush when our indian culture is questioned... The questionnaire asked that whether he could insist her to look after his mother and the answer is no. It is his responsibility and not hers. Can she insist him to look after her parents...answer is also no. But if they help each other , well and good. If he need to work, then he can reduce amount of work and look his mother. He have to provide for neccessities of wife not for extravagance.
I love Dr Zakir Naik for the sake of ALLAH - but questions that pertains to Fiqh should not be answered by him. He should stick to his speciality - Islam and comparative religions. You should take advice from those who specialise in marriage.
It's becoming more and more common knowledge that the wife does not have to take care of her husbands parents, because this concept is exploited, especially in areas of South Asia. However, we must understand that where no force, and other rights are being given to the wife, then she can take care of her husbands parents, as an act of a very good deed, which opportunity isn't given to every women in their life. Just like a rich person has more opportunity to do charity, which he should not waste. If the husband asks her to do it, then he is not sinning, but simply requesting. He can't force her, or be angry at her for not doing it. He needs to be kind and love her eitherway. The wife should also understand the importance for her marriage to be successful and to keep peace and harmony in both households and her marriage.
No woman is a servant of her Mother-in-law. Be a good Christian and you will go to heaven. Listen to this preacher and you are guaranteed to go the other way! Being a Christian means love, tolerance and a truly peaceful way of life. It also means having the freedom to do what you want and let your conscience guide you rather than having to submit to an ideology and have every thought in your mind and word controlled.
@@afraas7176 The Holy Quran 4:157 clearly states that the LORD Jesus Christ will come on Judgment day to judge all Muslims. This means that all Muslims will eventually become Christians. If you dispute this, you are not a believer.
@@afraas7176 Surat al-Imran (The Family of Imran) 3, verse 55 says, (And remember) when Allah said: O Jesus! Lo! I am gathering thee and causing thee to ascend unto Me, and am cleansing thee of those who disbelieve and am setting those who follow thee above those who disbelieve.
@@xyz_.513 You seem to have a lot of hate in you... I don't blame you... In fact, I feel sorry for you... its what you have become over time due to radicalization since you don't want to accept the truth. I hope you convert to Christianity and be blessed. The hatred in your heart is killing you like a virulent cancer from the inside. After you accept the LORD Jesus Christ you will feel peace. He will come back on Judgment day according to the Holy Quran and either save you or damn you to hell.
Islam is such a beautiful religion which speaks about rights of animals, to feed them and take care of them. Islam says to feed your neighbours and take care of them. Islam says to feed poor people and take care of them. Islam also says to protect non-Muslims under your protection. How the hell on earth this question arises, whether a daughters in law should cook food and take care of her husband's parents or not.? If any woman gains little knowledge and understanding about Islam and it's teachings will not at all object to cook and serve and other household chores for Mother and Father of her own Husband.
Brother, unfortunately you are wrong in this matter. The reason is you are mixing subcontinental culture into Islam. Islamically cooking for, serving, feeding, helping, caring for parents is duty on they children. Not the daughters in law. You can argue from sunrise to sunset. It will not change that the duty of a wife is towards her husband, her own parents, her kids. Not her inlaws and the husband can not force, threaten her with divorce or emotionally blackmail her into serving his parents. She is his wife, not his maid. If you love your parents, then YOU take care of them. Your duty. Your responsibility. I recommend toj listen to *Sheikh AssimAlHakeem* who answers this question in the veido titled *'The Duties of A Woman To Her Parents-in-Law'* He speaks from Islam not culture. Naik, sadly, speaks from culture You can also find other bayans by Tariq Jameel, Late Dr Israr Ahmed etc
@@saira_6151 shame on you sister.... Girls should think parents of her husband as her own parents. Prophet said if a neighbour of a Muslim person is hungry then that Muslim is not a Muslim and here you say that I will not cook food for my husband's parents.. Allaah save every Muslim men from girls like you
@@imtiyaz1565 shame on you brother for rejecting common ruling of Islam which is clear and for being so lazy that you cant even be bothered to take care of your own parents.. Dont marry, stay single and serve your own parents. Will you treat your wife's parents as your own parents? Will you let them live in your house with your parents? Will you cook, clean and care for your parents? Brother, are your hands broken, can't you cook for your own parents or are you simply just looking for an unpaid maid? Where is your socalled live for your parents? The prophet used to much of his housework himself. He didn't have to. But he did. He also kept each wife seperately in her own home. You clearly don't understand Islam and your loyalty is to your desi subcontinental culture which turns boys into mommas boy instead of men and teaches them no duties as a son or duties as a husband. That's why you argue against Islam now and think wives are just sIaves. Instead of mentioning an unrelated hadees you shoould educate yourself on Islam, and ask knowledgable sheikhs and alims but I think you will tell them shame on them too. Because the facts of Islam are so difficult for you to understand and accept. Be a man, serve your parents and don't marry. It is clear you cannot do justice to a wife because you are busy trampling her rights just so you don't have to do anything for your own parents. In the Quran Allah says the duty to care for parents is on the CHILDREN, (NOT daughters in LAW). End of discussion. Or will you argue with Allah too? Just because a woman marries, it does not mean, her parents don't disappear or stop being her parents. They are still her parents and she still has duties towards her own parents. Your parents have no right over her. She doesn't even gave to live with them. Basically you are saying daughters should abandon their parents and instead serve yours. Wrong, wrong and it will be wrong even when the world ends. Don't mess up your Akhirah. Stop worshipping culture, brother. Fear Allah and stay in your limits and care for your parents and let your wife care for her parents, her husband and her kids. .
@@imtiyaz1565 well thenShame on your brother for not understanding and not following Islamic rulings on wife's rights and sons/children duties. Stop twisting an unrelated hadees because it proves nothing except that you don't know that Quran says the care for parents is duty on the CHILDREN (not the daughter in law) So the daughter/wife is responsible for her own parents A wife is responsible for her own parents, her husband and her kids. You are responsible for your parents. Why are you so lazay that you do not wish to serve your own parents? Don't you love them? Do your hands not work? Can't you cook, clean for them? They did it for you but now you don't want to do it for them? A wife is a wife, not an unpaidMaid. A wife has the right to live in seperate housing. A wife is not responsible for caring for your parents. This is Islam. Islam will not change no matter how much you deny it, Will you cook and clean for your wife's parents?Will you take in her parents into your home to live with you and their daughter?will you treat them as toyrg own parents? Study deen and speak to knowledgeable ustadhs, alims and shayks etc. They will confirm this if they are true to Deen.
If you treat your daughter in law like a daughter then she will surely love u like a mother but if ur rude and aggressive, inquiries and saying bahu kia hai not answering to her salams being a battle axe ,then what ?
What if she a woman is asked to become a servant and paid for her job then cooking cleaning etc is right but when she becomes wife then cooking cleaning etc is not her responsibility wow because many people died of cooking food and cleaning and it is very difficult thing a man either can do job at some outstation or can cook food at home so there should be shared responsibilities as husband is working on the other hand she also is required to take part in fulfillment of her husbands responsibility towards parents
People living in neighbours have rights, you can't said yourself a Muslim if your neighbour sleep hungry or ill and you don't care about them, then how it's possible the people living under one roof within your house have no rights on each other. Think again
they shouldn't be living under one roof in the first place, the mother has rights over the child, not the childs spouse, the spouse has his or her own parents, its not hard to understand that
I couldn't listen to this man all the way to the end. Too much of his own cultural bias in his interpretation. I'm tired of listening to bearded old men making things up to suit their own narrative.
simple one sentence answer : "The virtuous wife would consider her mother in law as her own mother " .... "It's not black and white question that she should do / not "
Unfortunately simply the wrong answer as it's not according to Islam in Islam this matter is black and white. ZN tiptoes around it is because he is more loyal to his subcontinental culture than Islam. Many sheikhs have already covered this: The son or daughter re both responsible for their own parents. A wife is not responsible or answerable to her inlaws. They have no rights over her. Her husband can not force or threaten her with divorce to serve his parents or live with them because these are against her rights as his wife. The husband should only ask what he is willing to do himself. Most such husbands refuse to take in their inlaws even if they are sick or dying. So why should somebodys daughter abandon her own parents and serve her inlaws? Makes no sense. Instead of coddling boys to be mommas boys who can never grow up to be men, teach them their duties towards their parents and their wives. He should cook, clean, serve and care for his parents. There is no shame in that. If he is too lazy or thinks this is a womans job, he can hire help or a maid. He cn lso not marry and devote his time to his parents. Marriage is recommended, not obligatory. It's clear that for some people it is very hard to give up their misguided culture so they reject Islam instead by ignoring its rules I can give you a list of ustadhs and sheikhs who have answered this according to Islam. I think you won't be interested. Naiks name won't be on that list.
I wish husband should also be virtuous and consider his mother in law as his mother. Pay all her medical bills, maid salary, bring her clothes, and if he thinks it's not his duty. Then vice versa, cooking and taking care of mil is not wife duty
why on earth would anyone love their mother in law like their own mother? their own mother who carried, birthed and weaned them, raised them with love and care till they were grown, whilst the other woman did nothing, this is usually a tale men tell, when they want their wives to commit themselves to their mothers, whilst forbidding them from tending to their own biological mothers.
Do the father -in-law and mother-in- law have any obligations of taking care of the daughter in laws in Islam, if their sons are alive and taking care of their wife/ wives????. Things and world have changed now. Daughter in laws are the Queens. Do they really take care of their father and mother in laws??? This is a most unreasonable questions I have been hearing and respected Islamic Scholars are giving lectures on this topic but I have rarely seen that daughter in laws are taking care of their in laws. Majority they prefer to sponsor their own parents not the parents of their husbands. Turn the questions upside down and see the comments. Has the son in law has any obligations to their father and mother in laws or brother and sisterin laws?????
The daughter in law dont need to take care of the mother in law, it is not within her responsibility to do so. Its the son's job to take care of his mother and the husband's job to take care of his wife. As a son, a leader, you need to step up and work both ways, your mother has rights upon you not your wife and your wife has rights upon you, not your mother. If you can't be a leader and handle both of the rights then don't marry. Being a leader is not an easy job, it needs a degree of wiseness and a degree of being stern to uphold justice in the marriage. The son in law has no obligations to the father/mother in law as well, if you want to be virtuous and help your MIL/FIL, then you will be rewarded for your deeds but you can't expect your wife to do the same to your parents.
give her a separate accommodation it's her rights and take care of your parents by yourself your wife is not your parent's servent for your arrange different quarter for your parents arrange maids or u takecare
@@sunmoon777-f1nwhat if he cant afford a maid? And what about the time when he is in the job,who is gonna look after his old parents during that time?
How many days did she cook for daughter in law? Have the daughter in law cook meals in return for the many days the mother in law cooked for her. Then they are even.
i want to tell all womens:- if you understand as you do, your husband will never be satisfied with you. He will never pray for you from his heart. I can guarantee this. You can never be completely happy in family life. You will never be an ideal wife. You will never be a perfect mother. You will never be an ideal daughter-in-law. You will never be an ideal mother-in-law when your children grow up. That person can never love you from the heart whose parents you don't love.
@@sarahm4516 Of course!!! As long as my mother was alive I loved my mother more than anything in the world. I used to wake up in the morning and look for my mother. The whole world seemed empty until I saw my mother's face once. I used to help my mother in housework in my spare time. Now I just pray for her, may Allah make my mother a resident of Jannat. And advise you also to obey your parents and, if you are a woman, obey your husband after marriage and love them, and that is good for you.
@@warrior7740 everyone loves their mother, listen carefully, THEIR MOTHER, not their husbands mother, or their wifes mother, your responsibility is to YOUR mother, your wife has zero responsibilities toward YOUR mother, she has her own mother that she loves as you love your mother. A wife has zero obligation towards her mother in law, zero, i'll say that again zero, if your angry with your wife because she doesn't serve your mother, that is a problem for YOU, as Allah did not command men or women to serve their in laws. it doesn't matter if a man doesn't love his wife because she doesn't serve his mother, who wants the love of a man who won't be happy until you become a servant for his mother?
@@sarahm4516 Your lectures are worthless. Islam is based on Quran and Hadith. You don't know the meaning of the word "أطاع". But arguing about Islam. How funny
@@warrior7740 Yes it is, I also know well the meaning of the word as an arab, and your still wrong, your wife is under no obligation to serve your mother even if you you command her 1000 times, as you have no right to command her in the first place. a wife serves her husband and her children, the husband has no right to outsource her to serve others outside of him and the children. as i said, who cares for the love of a man who wants to oppress his wife by making her become a servant of his mother, no woman wants such a man, and no father wants such a man for his daughter. a wife has a mother, your mother did nothing for your wife, she has no authority over her, nor can she demand anything from your wife, your mother has authority of YOU, and its YOUR job to take care of her, not the daughter of another mothers job. I think you are South Asian because no one else seems to struggle with this understanding like South Asian people, they are defiant in the face of islam and insist on following Hindu cultures and practises that are far from islam. You can take a donkey to water but you cant make it drink, do what you want, but know that you will be held accountable for it, as you now cannot pretend before Allah swt that you didn't know. Peace out
To leave mother is not permissible,but yes man should help her wife in doing work either by himself or by hiring servants.. if a person leaves parents who need him, then a day will come,when he will be in need of his sons but they would have left him alone, So , having good friendship like behavior with wife and same time taking care of his parents is liked by our CREATOR
You should contact Sheikh Asim Al Hakeem, Mufti Menk, or Tariq Jameel or listen to bayans by the late Dr Israr Ahmed. Depending on your issue it may already be answered in a video or audio fatwa. Always research an issue because people like Xakir Naik sadly put culture over Deen as we can see in many cases.
basically he is saying there is no clear cut black and white to this issue. A wife major priority is the husband, and the husband major priority is both the wife and his parents. If the wife wants to help to take care of her mother in law voluntarily, then it is ok, and she will be rewarded for it. If she refuses to do so also no problem as she has no responsibility towards her mother in law (her responsibility is towards the husband). The husband cannot force the wife to take care of his mother, it is within her rights and privacy to refuse. Who should take care of the mother? the son, and the father of course as they have clear cut responsibility towards the mother
Isaiah 66.3 devil meat no good Isaiah 7.15 milk curd butter honey good Jesus rev.4.7 lion young bull face like a man and eagl are worthy of worship only native American totem poll bot city revaluation bot city ♥️ bless you vegan Jesus gen1.29 gen21.19 Mathew 12.42 Joshua Rahab poverty same when you see God poverty gen21.19 same Rahab same
How can you like your husband’s mother, if she talks about you and your SIL behind their backs? How can you like your husband’s mother if she complains about everything and your children? How can you like your husband’s mother if she hits your child, leaves a mark on him, and then laughs at him because he’s crying in pain? How can you like your husband’s mother if she throws trash on your floor, but at the same time complaining about your house when you are pregnant and tired? How can you like your husband’s mother if she acts like you are a servant to her and she’s never grateful for the things you do for her?
And if that woman is doing stuff for you, taking the burden of having YOUR children, the fact that you have rights over her body, she has every right over your money. We don’t get married just to serve a man, ruin our bodies, just to only get minimum amount of money, while y’all do whatever you like.
This is not complicated , For a Muskim Man its obligatory to love his mother n take care and be kind with them all the time even if they are not muslim. women should obey her husband, and its her major role to help her husband to enter jannah by taking his responsibilities and keep his parents.
If he cannot love and respect his wife then he should remain single and live happily with his mother. You cannot burden your wife with responsibilities which are not hers. And you also make easy for her to enter jannah
wives don't have any responsibility towards their in laws in the same way husbands don't have any responsibilities towards their in laws. Women need to cook and clean for their husbands only not their in laws. Islamic ally it's the rule
@muslimaaaagirl and every women should say no to the man who wants to separate her from her parents. And women are earning nowadays so they don't need a husband at all
@muslimaaaagirl yeah, we don't want a bossy husband. We want someone who think about us equally. Gone are those days when women were treated like cattles. And don't even dare to think that you're right from islamic point of view. Because you're cruel and no women should marry you
'Taking his responsibilities'- next thing people will say men should stay back at home uselessly and make his wife be the provider of the family. Husband's responsibilities are his own and he can't make anybody else take it on for him.
The ease of the explanation is Dr. Naik's greatest asset. ❤️
It will only make you a terrorist. Muhammed was the first terrorist of the world.
Deen is not subjective, it's objective so the answer should be.
If we fail to put deen over culture, eventually will lost both the deen and positive culture. May Allah bless us and protect from all misguidance.
The big problem is, when mother in law is very aggressive, abusive and extremely unappreciative. Poor man couldn't find any solution.
I know a woman, who has 7 Sons, and they tried to provide her everything to keep her happy and give her a good life, but just because of her abusive behavior none of the wives want to serve her, not only that, but her own sons don't wanna live with their mother because of her abusive treatment. She would scream, curse, lie and get physical. I feel sad for her, as she has destroyed her life by her own, and she still didn't learn her lessons.
It could be she would have a mental illness which makes her behave like that. No normal human behaves like that.
I wish people had much awareness regarding it.
18 minutes and 24 seconds, but Dr Zakir Naik refuses and fails to answer the issue directly and honestly that 1) Islamically a woman has the right to her own seperate housing according to her husband's means and 2) the duty to care for parents is on the children, sons AND daughters both. It is *NOT* on the daughter-in-laws. It is sad to see Dr. Naik go against established Islamic and rulings and instead promote his country's Indian culture. He has done this twice on this issue and this is why you can't blindly trust what he says. He is in fact innovating things by mixing cultural traditions with Islam which is wrong and sinful. *A wife has no duty of obligation to servd or even live with her Inlaws. The husband cannot force her.* He should shop being lazy and instead of claiming he loves his parents he should show it by taking care of them, serving them instead of making his wife a free servant. This issue stems from subcontinental culture. This is not common among other Muslims.
Wwtch the vjdos *'Wife is not obliged to serve or live with her in-laws* AND *'The Duties of A Woman To Her Parents-in-Law'* both by sheik AssimAlHakeem
Or listen to other bayans by Mufti Menk, Noman Ali Khan, Tariq Jameel, later Dr Israr Ahmed etc.
Very well said.
What about those parents who don’t have sons.Dr Zakir Naik is being partial.only talking about the husband’s parents and what about the wife’s parents?
@muslimaaaagirl her husband can ask her to jump of a bridge, should she do that too? 🙃🙃plz make sense.
@muslimaaaagirl he wouldn't just like she wouldn't 🙂she isn't obliged to take care of his parents just like he isn't obliged to take care of hers it's basic but y'all just can't understand isn't it
4:34 Men are the caretakers of women, as men have been provisioned by Allah over women and tasked with supporting them financially. And righteous women are devoutly obedient and, when alone, protective of what Allah has entrusted them with.1 And if you sense ill-conduct from your women, advise them ˹first˺, ˹if they persist,˺ do not share their beds, ˹but if they still persist,˺ then discipline them ˹gently˺.2 But if they change their ways, do not be unjust to them. Surely Allah is Most High, All-Great.
What are you even saying and pls the least you do is listen ti asimalhakkim that guy has 5 daughters and not once he can say yes you can serve your in laws he just says indirectly that throw the parents of a guy out of the house and be queen of the house don’t listen to him sister he will destroy your marriage
Alhumdulillaah
Very good answer
For now a days generation
I had so many negative thoughts regarding cooking n cleaning at my in laws house but after hearing Dr. Zakir Naik now i understand this test that I'm going through. I will surely try to help my husband take care of his parents because right now my siblings are taking care of my parents. It's all about the situation guys. And you won't be getting virtuous people who will speak sugar to u all the time. Sabr is important for which u will be rewarded. And jannah is worth even more than your biggest of sabr. Plz don't try and create difficult life for your husband.
You are dmb ,this is not u going through test ,this is test for him and his Imaan ,it's a right given by Allah to women and if he denies it ,sin for him on the other hand you don't serve his parents not a sin for you. Stop giving those stoopid advices to others “dont make it difficult for him blah blah " women also have parents many of them don't have brother either to take care when they can survive husband's parents ain't going to d!e either .
Ok if you wants to help them that's fine but if other women doesn't want to do it then they should keep a maid for them or husband should help her but she cannot be forced to become a free servant of her inlaws
@@goldenxyoon702with this thinking sister you will surely be amongst those who will not smell jannah from 500 years long.
@@goldenxyoon702and also if your thinking is this then you will not be able to stay in a marriage for long time. If you will get old you will want your son and daughter to take care of you but think what will happen then. If their wives and husband refuse to cook food for you. i.e. if you are cooking food for your husband then cook some extra for your husband's mother and father if they are unable to do so. And if a wife is unable to do so then there is no difference between her and a contractual marriage like in west where a man can contract a woman to have his sons and daughters so that his lineage doesn't end. And that wife is ignorant about Islam's advice for a Muslim to help old age people.
@@whatthe.4703 how so how is she wrong for demanding her right
The wife is not obliged to serve the in laws in Islam..And the husband has no right to force her to do so..She can do it out of kindness or as a part of humanity to serve any one..not just her in laws
Yh if she denied to serve her mother in law then she should also prepare dat way
But wife is obliged to obey husband
The virtue starts from near ones so if a woman is virtuous and finds her parents in law sick and old she would definitely come first to help them and serve them ...
@@alitopsecret a wife is only obliged to obey her husband in what is just, allowed and halal. Husband can not deman, wife stays with inlaws or serve inlaws. In Islam separate home is a wife's right and she is not responsible for her parents. But subcontinental desi culture wants to twist Islam so its fits into the culture. Those boys forget, a daughter/wife is responsible for her own parents.
It's more interesting to question why first sons claim they live their parents and that's why they want to live with them. So they make wife live with his parents and siblings. But now they also force the wife to care for and serve her inlawe. So in reality the joint family system is simply a ploy to turn the wife into an unpaid maid. Such sons should consider why they don't want to care for their own parents, who brought them into this world, and why they insist on taking way somebody else's daughter forcing her to abandon her own parents and serve her inlaws instead, which Allah says is the duty of children, not daughters in law.
Such boys shoukd not marry but stay with and serve their parents. If they need help, they can hire help, a maid. Don't marry and then oppress the wife. .
A pious God fearing Muslim husband will never force his wife to take on his duties, nor will he take way the wife's rights. He will know obedience to Allah comes first.
My answer will undoubtedly not satisfy you. So I urge you to seek knowledge from other sheikhs who will confirm this. You see, Islam and culture are two different things. Your parents, your duty.
@@saira_6151 back up your argument with sahih hadith and Quran.... This is just pointless argument.
Read Quran with translation especially sura nisa
Very rightly explained, MashaALLAH!
I've noticed that these questions of looking after the mother is usually by the man/husband wanting to know (in short) of HOW TO MAKE his wife look after HIS mother. And the answers are usually in the same manner, meaning that they address the men's point of view. But on the other hand no one is questioning or answering of how to get the husband to look after his mother-IN-LAW, i.e. HER mother. And even have scenarios where the husband bans or hinders his wife from her taking care of her parents. When are we going to get answers of getting the man to look after his own mother rather than just make ONLY financial contributions (more like maybe make financial, coz now we have cases like that) but leaving the rest of the hard work to others, expecting to collect the rewards as if he has done EVERYTHING. When are we going to get answers that talk about the men/husbands also look after HER mother/parents just as she is HELPING HIM look after his? Surely we have examples of men looking after parents and parent-in-laws. I vaguely remember one example I heard from a lecture from a very long time ago one sahaba looking after his parents. I would quote more of what I remember but it would deviate the conversation elsewhere. Main thing in mentioning this example is that HE was looking after HIS OWN MOTHER BY HIMSELF, cooking etc, rather than allocate it to someone else by paying them! Why have we stopped teaching this to our men!?!?!?
Jazak Allah khairan katheerah brother
Nothing has ever made sence❤️ thank you for this.
Well said👍👍
May Allaah Almighty save all from getting a wife who has thinking like yours.
Regarding your question, who will look after her parents then the answer is Her Parents will be looked after by their son i.e. her brother.
If girls want to take take care of their own parents then they should either not marry, or marry someone from orphange or find someone who is willing to become ghar jawayi.
If a girls marries in a big family then it is understood that she will take care of her in-laws.
If girls does not want to take care of her in-laws then go and find your husband in Orphange and not in Families...
If Wife leaves her family to be united with you,be a MAN and live SEPERATE with you Wife.
@muslimaaaagirl nonsense
@muslimaaaagirl correct ✅
@muslimaaaagirl its said in the Quran that if there is a prob btween the mother and the wife its best to move out. Secondly every sons have to build his own home. Its also a wifes right to demand for a home of her own. Living seperate doesnt mean abandoing ur parents.. wife left her parents bt did she abandon? Nope same living seperate doest mean abandoning dem u can live in another home and still visit ur parents.
@muslimaaaagirl and if a man really cares for his parents let him get a home nurse for his parents and a maid.. simple.
Your just a feminist woman
As a small answer no. The wife has only duties about her husband and children and her parents. The husband has duties about his wife, children and his parents. If the wife has time and want it yes she can but she must not do this. Because the children must take care of parents like parents take care of children. The command that you should take care them goes for the children. Avoid to mix your wishes or culture with islam. Islam has clearly say children should take her parents. Everyone who say but obey blabla obey which is not against allah. These means in things what is his rights. These means raise children, take care house and serve husband thats all.
Islam doesn’t say anything about obeying your husband it’s about respecting each other’s rights
We only obey Allah
If you do not obey your husband, you can not obey Allah. You can not talk like ignorant things because you do not have any knowledge of Islam.
Islam does say it. Please don't post ignorance
??? that is one of the rights of the man over the woman, just like the woman has rights over the man but its different rights
Absolutely wrong
Dr.Zakir naik is answering more personally I guess.
The question is not about your life.
And explaining more details wrt Quran and hadeeth about the responsibility of mother, but not MOTHER IN LAW
Plz make a note
سبحانك اللهم وبحمدك استغفرك و اتوب اليك واشهد ان لا اله الا الله واشهد ان محمد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم
Sir, As per majority of scholars a wife has household obligation only towards husband not in laws. But it's Sunnah to take care of them.
Not only haram order but it should not violate individual right. Like a husband cannot order wife to do job. But job is halal.
Anyway, we should always try to do good and more so that Allah grant us Jannah...
it isn't sunnah for a woman to take care of her in laws at all.
it is merely a good act, like feeding a cat in the street, no obligation as much as it is going out to look for hungry animals to feed.
Husband should help the wife too at home bcoz she's physically tired n mentally too wif children and ****everyday at home. I had been a caretaker for my dad 5 years alone its tough. Each day from morning till nite. SO exhausted n not able to have ample rest till u gone mentally crazy. Take note dont abuse she's not a maid.
Quran is good listening masyaAllah
The question is not is it virtuous; question: is it the fard for a daughter-in-law Islamicly to take care of her in-laws. Please be clear.
Yes, he doesn't want to answer clearly because he puts culture over Deen. Notice he never speaks or considers the wife's parents. He is talking about it being a man and based on his own Indian cultural point of view.
Islamically this issue is clear. There is no duty on the daughter in law to care for, serve or obey her inlaws. No matter how much Desi males will emotionally blackmail girls, wives Islam will never change. The care taking and serving of parents is on the children. The sons and daughters. Not the daughters in law. The wife is responsible for her own parents, her husband and her children.
I wish the majority of the men were like Dr. Zakir
But he did not answer the question accurately or correctly. He avoided answering it clearly. He talked about culture instead of Deen.
The answer to the question, if it is fardh for daughter in law to serve her inlaws, is NO. The wife is not in any way obligated to or responsible for her i laws. Serving, cooking, cleaning, washing, carrying, taking care of parents is the *childrens* duty and fardh on the children. Not the daughters in law or the sons in law. A wife is only responsible for her own parents, her husband and her children. A husband can not force her or threaten her to serve orv even live with his parents. She is also entitled to seperate housing in Islam. All this is already established in Islamic rulings. But Dr. Zakir Nqik spoke against Islam on this topic.
So I don't think we want majority of scholars to promote their local culture instead of Islam.
Joint family system and daughters in law serving and caring for inlaws is subcontinental culture, not Islam.
@@saira_6151 I agree with you and so far I learned I also agree that the daughter in laws are not responsible for their parents in laws even if her husband tells her to but I don’t think Dr. Naik spoke against islam. Yes there is probably wrong wordings but I think he just tried to suggest a solution for these type of problems. He didn’t answer this question in an islamic point of view. He didn’t even say that this is how it works in islam. He just simply tried to suggest it and thats what I think. If you think a different way that’s okay ❤️
@@saira_6151😂 who made you feminist a scholar.
@@saira_6151if you apply like this, you will die alone In your old age.
That's why Allah has told to help you elderly. But you feminist can't even agree with Allah.
men are also entitled to marry more than 1 wife! being settled for 1 wife is subcontinent stuff, not islamic. Islam says marry more than 1! How do you like Islam now? Feminist babe go study Islam!@@saira_6151
One of the best answer on this topic
May Allah give him more hilmah
its a kind thing to serve your mother in law. if she's kind to you. you don't have to look after a nasty mother in law who says you're like her daughter just as a licence to scold you and belittle you.
Very very very good explanation
JazakaAllah khair
Excellant clarfication.masha allah👌
i still dont understand...🤦♀️so why should a daughter In law serve her her mOther in law? she Is Only dutifuL to her husband
Sometimes the mother in law gets old.. Sometimes they cant afford a maid.. Just caring like a human would for another definitely she mustnt slog like a servant..
Depending on the situation it is not a Islamic law but depending on the situation. We can suggest her.
Zakir Naik didn't answer clearly because he believes in culture over deen and culture makes daughters in law into maids for her husband's family. *Islamically you as a daughter-in-law have no duty to live with, obey, or serve your inlaws and your husband cannot suggest, force or order you to serve or live with them* The duty to care for parents in their old age is on their children, not their daughters in law. Such guys want the credit for taking care of their parents but they don't want to actually care frheir parents. It's also strange how such subcontinental guys forget that a girl also has parents, they also grow old, they also may not be able to afford help,, and why should they when they have their child or children. Not every family has many children and not all have sons. Some families have only daughters or only one daughter. Yet the same culture expects that daughter must abandon her own parents and they can die alone and instead serve inlaws. Totally illogical and unislamic. *If you want clear answers, look up somebody like Sheikh Assim Al Hakeem* He answers this question in the vido titled *'The Duties of A Woman To Her Parents-in-Law'* He speaks from Islam not culture. Dr Zakir Naik speaks from culture.
@@saira_6151 although I agree with your point
If a man was to work less and earn less to complete chores and take care of his parents, the wife would be upset with the husband for making less money and having less spending money even though she should be patient and support him as his parents come first
So usually, many men will ask wives to take care of parents while the man meets financial needs of family around him
No one should be forced to do that but plenty of women are Ok with that
@@Mainlyeverything
Thank you for your reply, brother. Actually most women are not OK with it. They do it because theyre expected to and told its their duty (fardh). The alternative is they can't easily get married or will get divorced.
We must separate deen and culture.. The reason you stated is not why men make their wives serve her inlaws. It is an ancient hlndu custom predating islam which we have inherited. Our society and culture were and still are patriarchal. This is a tradition which serve the men. They get a sarvantfor free and the same oeuiole will restrict the wife from contacting or visiting her own parents.
After all, a wife is a daughter and she is responsible for her own parents. But this culture expects her to abandon her own parent saying she should simply view her inlaws as her parents after marrige. Again, in Islam your parents remain your parents both before and after marriage. A woman does not lose her identity which is why in Islam women do not take the husband's name.
With the joint family system and daughters in law serving their inlaws is a matter of entitlement. Nobody appreciates that what she is doing is beyond her duties, count as AHSAAN. Rather she is forced to abandon her rights and her own parents. If she refuses, she will not be seen as a good wife and her parents will be blamed for not raising her to be a good daughter in law. The role as the wife, interestingly, comes second.
Interestingly Muslim men both at the time of the Nabi and the sahabah, and for centuries afterwards managed both their wives but also cared for their own parents. Even today outside the subcontinent this is still largely the way its done. Its just our Desi culture which we won't let go off. Not with such one sided benefits.
Many asoects of subcontinental cultures are at odds with Islam. That's why getting knowledge of not only your Islamic duties but also your rights is important.
A wife has no right to keep her husband from serving and caring for his parents.
She also can't demand, he live or provide for her beyond his means like luxury.
A husband provides from his means and she knew his means before marrying him.
The husband must balance and do justice to his relationships both with his wife and his parents.
We must also not forget a wife is a daughter and she has duty to care for her own parents. Now if you ask such husbands if they will return the favor they will balk at the mere idea and laugh it off.
Best reply❤
Man-ness don't lie in leave separately, it lies living with both and keeping a balance
Lie*=Mean
but this is a good word brother/sister.
May Allah bless you peace
Sorry Dr zakir naik..u massed up question with every thing
Very good explanation ❤️
Some mother in law treats their daughter in law as servant in law.
Some daughter in law also treat their mother in law like a servant as well.
@@simplylife8937 it depends on the son how he treats his mother first.
@@simplylife8937 give her seperate accommodation ig not her problem
@@baganthekerannaghor8161where did the son come from? Mothers in law treat daughters in law like servants and daughters in law do the same too. Stop victimizing on set of group.
@@friend_account90 Sorry to see your reply. I am not victimizing anyone. Son comes from mother and a daughter comes from mother too. No one is allowed to treat badly anyone. A daughter comes from another family leaving her won comfort zone. She needs to be taken care of and that’s the rule of Islam.
And if a mother in law is being treated badly then the son is too blame. A daughter in law can’t misbehave if the son doesn’t allow it to happened in the first place.
But when mother is wrong son doesn’t do or can do much because she is the mother.
Whole world knows about the relationship between mother in law and daughter in law. Nothing to hide or promote. Son came from Mother it doesn’t give her the license to treat daughter in law like a servant.
Aameen, Masha Allah
Asalamualikum
Dr zakir naik.... I have a similar question...
Like.. After marriage my in laws treated me oppressively and tried to separate me from husband.... But alhamdulillah did not succeed.... And during those days my husband wouldn't stand for justice but keep saying... It's my mother cannot oppress her... So have patience.... Then a time arrived when my mother in law adopted her grand daughter and also gave space to her younger daughters family in house and asked us to have a nuclear family... So we separated our kitchens and floors..... For about 14 years until my sister in law left to a new house with her family.... Now my mother in law is left with a teen grand daughter..... And my husband after all these years expect me to start staying with mother in law.. And grand daughter.... I'm denying for the reason that for gods sake I may take care of mother in law but not the grand daughter whose parents are alive and I have young sons over 17,18 years...
So why doesn't he cook for her. Isn't it the responsibility of the woman to look after her own mother too.
Is it not a duty of daughter to take of her parent's when they reach their old age.For this thing women should seek husband's permission.But when it comes to his parents he commands and says it just becomes wife's duty to take care of his parents.Husband doesn't even show equal participation.
Al humdulliah!!! Zazak Allah Kaira!!!
Some are OK like Tariq Jameel and late Dr Israr Ahmed and others.
This is the problem with all of the subcontinent scholars when Allah give the right of her wife then why should she cook food
Why do you listen to your manager in office or a teacher in school or university. Then isnt that an oppressing culture for you.
Don't denigrate women who take care of their husbands and look after their happiness. If you can't keep your husband happy better sister don't get married bcz your mentality can create issues between two families.
It's a part of akhlaq which unfortunately most of the women today are lacking. They think of this as being servant bcz they have been taught that servants are less respected in society. And then we talk about our rights while we have always killed the rights of others.
It's very simple
When prophet Musa AS got married her wife asked him to look and take care of her father. So when a prophet or a husband can do it why can't wife if it makes her husband happy.
@@anniekh1782 if you expect your wife to cook for your parents then, she can also expect you to pay the bills, look after her parents .. it goes both ways. It's called having a good akhlaq.
@@nottheoneyouknow165absolutely right
Allah Bless you
So 3times mother,then father then only husband ll come ryt
Sisters, I've found this holiday destination that I need to share with you.
I can go for however long I want as many times as I want and my husband never come with me. (that's called independence). I don't don't pay a penny for accommodation, food and there's even a chauffeur. I just put my feet up as there's a creche for my kids a child minder and even a bodyguard and security to take care of my kids and myself. No cleaning, no cooking, there's a maid who does all of this. There's free wifi if I want to spend endless hours sharing pics and videos on my phone.
Whenever I go there I see my Mum and Dad (who are elderly) being pampered and they never seem to ask me to do anything.
My kids call their their son and daughter in law uncle and aunt and I just thought this man and woman were volunteers working in this holiday resort.
Everytime I go the menu changes - they must have a full time chef. I've just come back after a weeks' stay and will be there again next weekend.
--
Sincere advice to our sisters;
When you visit/stay over at your parents house, please be mindful that your brother and sister in law are also trying to have stability to maintain and raise their family.
I feel like Dr. Zakir is avoiding to answer this question in the right way due to the Indian culture of the wife serving the mom in law!
The son can never force his wife to serve his mother. If a woman says she doesn't want to take care of the mum in law, the husband has to make arrangements to take care of his parents. There is no sin on a woman if she tells her husband she doesn't want to serve his parents - because this is her right.
A husband cannot ask his wife to obey him by giving up her rights!
Stop beating around the bush when our indian culture is questioned...
The questionnaire asked that whether he could insist her to look after his mother and the answer is no. It is his responsibility and not hers. Can she insist him to look after her parents...answer is also no. But if they help each other , well and good. If he need to work, then he can reduce amount of work and look his mother. He have to provide for neccessities of wife not for extravagance.
excellent sir
I feel like a servant in my husband house is just because am staying in his father’s house..
Wtf are man or woman.
It is not compulsory for a girl to serve her in laws
I love Dr Zakir Naik for the sake of ALLAH - but questions that pertains to Fiqh should not be answered by him. He should stick to his speciality - Islam and comparative religions.
You should take advice from those who specialise in marriage.
It's becoming more and more common knowledge that the wife does not have to take care of her husbands parents, because this concept is exploited, especially in areas of South Asia.
However, we must understand that where no force, and other rights are being given to the wife, then she can take care of her husbands parents, as an act of a very good deed, which opportunity isn't given to every women in their life. Just like a rich person has more opportunity to do charity, which he should not waste. If the husband asks her to do it, then he is not sinning, but simply requesting. He can't force her, or be angry at her for not doing it. He needs to be kind and love her eitherway.
The wife should also understand the importance for her marriage to be successful and to keep peace and harmony in both households and her marriage.
subhanAllah subhanAllah subhanAllah
I invite everyone to listen to the holy QURAN.
No woman is a servant of her Mother-in-law. Be a good Christian and you will go to heaven. Listen to this preacher and you are guaranteed to go the other way! Being a Christian means love, tolerance and a truly peaceful way of life. It also means having the freedom to do what you want and let your conscience guide you rather than having to submit to an ideology and have every thought in your mind and word controlled.
May Allah guide you
@@afraas7176 The Holy Quran 4:157 clearly states that the LORD Jesus Christ will come on Judgment day to judge all Muslims. This means that all Muslims will eventually become Christians. If you dispute this, you are not a believer.
@@afraas7176 Surat al-Imran (The Family of Imran) 3, verse 55 says, (And remember) when Allah said: O Jesus! Lo! I am gathering thee and causing thee to ascend unto Me, and am cleansing thee of those who disbelieve and am setting those who follow thee above those who disbelieve.
@@ValdoWeisen dear, disbeliever are Christians nit Muslims. Wake up
@@xyz_.513 You seem to have a lot of hate in you... I don't blame you... In fact, I feel sorry for you... its what you have become over time due to radicalization since you don't want to accept the truth. I hope you convert to Christianity and be blessed. The hatred in your heart is killing you like a virulent cancer from the inside. After you accept the LORD Jesus Christ you will feel peace. He will come back on Judgment day according to the Holy Quran and either save you or damn you to hell.
Shocked😱🙀🤯... @ Zakir naik.... My My....Such innovations.... Uff
Islam is such a beautiful religion which speaks about rights of animals, to feed them and take care of them.
Islam says to feed your neighbours and take care of them.
Islam says to feed poor people and take care of them.
Islam also says to protect non-Muslims under your protection.
How the hell on earth this question arises, whether a daughters in law should cook food and take care of her husband's parents or not.?
If any woman gains little knowledge and understanding about Islam and it's teachings will not at all object to cook and serve and other household chores for Mother and Father of her own Husband.
Brother, unfortunately you are wrong in this matter. The reason is you are mixing subcontinental culture into Islam. Islamically cooking for, serving, feeding, helping, caring for parents is duty on they children. Not the daughters in law. You can argue from sunrise to sunset. It will not change that the duty of a wife is towards her husband, her own parents, her kids. Not her inlaws and the husband can not force, threaten her with divorce or emotionally blackmail her into serving his parents. She is his wife, not his maid. If you love your parents, then YOU take care of them. Your duty. Your responsibility.
I recommend toj listen to *Sheikh AssimAlHakeem* who answers this question in the veido titled *'The Duties of A Woman To Her Parents-in-Law'* He speaks from Islam not culture. Naik, sadly, speaks from culture
You can also find other bayans by Tariq Jameel, Late Dr Israr Ahmed etc
@@saira_6151 shame on you sister....
Girls should think parents of her husband as her own parents.
Prophet said if a neighbour of a Muslim person is hungry then that Muslim is not a Muslim and here you say that I will not cook food for my husband's parents..
Allaah save every Muslim men from girls like you
@@imtiyaz1565 the husband should do the same for her parents then fair it is then huh?
@@imtiyaz1565 shame on you brother for rejecting common ruling of Islam which is clear and for being so lazy that you cant even be bothered to take care of your own parents.. Dont marry, stay single and serve your own parents.
Will you treat your wife's parents as your own parents? Will you let them live in your house with your parents? Will you cook, clean and care for your parents?
Brother, are your hands broken, can't you cook for your own parents or are you simply just looking for an unpaid maid? Where is your socalled live for your parents?
The prophet used to much of his housework himself. He didn't have to. But he did. He also kept each wife seperately in her own home.
You clearly don't understand Islam and your loyalty is to your desi subcontinental culture which turns boys into mommas boy instead of men and teaches them no duties as a son or duties as a husband. That's why you argue against Islam now and think wives are just sIaves. Instead of mentioning an unrelated hadees you shoould educate yourself on Islam, and ask knowledgable sheikhs and alims but I think you will tell them shame on them too. Because the facts of Islam are so difficult for you to understand and accept.
Be a man, serve your parents and don't marry. It is clear you cannot do justice to a wife because you are busy trampling her rights just so you don't have to do anything for your own parents.
In the Quran Allah says the duty to care for parents is on the CHILDREN, (NOT daughters in LAW). End of discussion. Or will you argue with Allah too?
Just because a woman marries, it does not mean, her parents don't disappear or stop being her parents. They are still her parents and she still has duties towards her own parents. Your parents have no right over her. She doesn't even gave to live with them.
Basically you are saying daughters should abandon their parents and instead serve yours. Wrong, wrong and it will be wrong even when the world ends. Don't mess up your Akhirah.
Stop worshipping culture, brother. Fear Allah and stay in your limits and care for your parents and let your wife care for her parents, her husband and her kids. .
@@imtiyaz1565 well thenShame on your brother for not understanding and not following Islamic rulings on wife's rights and sons/children duties.
Stop twisting an unrelated hadees because it proves nothing except that you don't know that Quran says the care for parents is duty on the CHILDREN (not the daughter in law)
So the daughter/wife is responsible for her own parents
A wife is responsible for her own parents, her husband and her kids.
You are responsible for your parents. Why are you so lazay that you do not wish to serve your own parents? Don't you love them? Do your hands not work? Can't you cook, clean for them? They did it for you but now you don't want to do it for them?
A wife is a wife, not an unpaidMaid. A wife has the right to live in seperate housing. A wife is not responsible for caring for your parents. This is Islam. Islam will not change no matter how much you deny it,
Will you cook and clean for your wife's parents?Will you take in her parents into your home to live with you and their daughter?will you treat them as toyrg own parents?
Study deen and speak to knowledgeable ustadhs, alims and shayks etc. They will confirm this if they are true to Deen.
Really great video, very informative
He's speaking of your OWN parents. You don't have to serve your in laws
Dr.Zakir naik is right
And when you are not in the will don't be surprised.
If you treat your daughter in law like a daughter then she will surely love u like a mother but if ur rude and aggressive, inquiries and saying bahu kia hai not answering to her salams being a battle axe ,then what ?
Alla keep you❤
What if she a woman is asked to become a servant and paid for her job then cooking cleaning etc is right but when she becomes wife then cooking cleaning etc is not her responsibility wow because many people died of cooking food and cleaning and it is very difficult thing a man either can do job at some outstation or can cook food at home so there should be shared responsibilities as husband is working on the other hand she also is required to take part in fulfillment of her husbands responsibility towards parents
People living in neighbours have rights, you can't said yourself a Muslim if your neighbour sleep hungry or ill and you don't care about them, then how it's possible the people living under one roof within your house have no rights on each other.
Think again
they shouldn't be living under one roof in the first place, the mother has rights over the child, not the childs spouse, the spouse has his or her own parents, its not hard to understand that
I couldn't listen to this man all the way to the end. Too much of his own cultural bias in his interpretation. I'm tired of listening to bearded old men making things up to suit their own narrative.
simple one sentence answer :
"The virtuous wife would consider her mother in law as her own mother " ....
"It's not black and white question that she should do / not "
Unfortunately simply the wrong answer as it's not according to Islam in Islam this matter is black and white. ZN tiptoes around it is because he is more loyal to his subcontinental culture than Islam.
Many sheikhs have already covered this: The son or daughter re both responsible for their own parents. A wife is not responsible or answerable to her inlaws. They have no rights over her. Her husband can not force or threaten her with divorce to serve his parents or live with them because these are against her rights as his wife. The husband should only ask what he is willing to do himself. Most such husbands refuse to take in their inlaws even if they are sick or dying. So why should somebodys daughter abandon her own parents and serve her inlaws? Makes no sense.
Instead of coddling boys to be mommas boys who can never grow up to be men, teach them their duties towards their parents and their wives. He should cook, clean, serve and care for his parents. There is no shame in that. If he is too lazy or thinks this is a womans job, he can hire help or a maid. He cn lso not marry and devote his time to his parents. Marriage is recommended, not obligatory.
It's clear that for some people it is very hard to give up their misguided culture so they reject Islam instead by ignoring its rules
I can give you a list of ustadhs and sheikhs who have answered this according to Islam. I think you won't be interested. Naiks name won't be on that list.
I wish husband should also be virtuous and consider his mother in law as his mother. Pay all her medical bills, maid salary, bring her clothes, and if he thinks it's not his duty. Then vice versa, cooking and taking care of mil is not wife duty
why on earth would anyone love their mother in law like their own mother?
their own mother who carried, birthed and weaned them, raised them with love and care till they were grown, whilst the other woman did nothing, this is usually a tale men tell, when they want their wives to commit themselves to their mothers, whilst forbidding them from tending to their own biological mothers.
Just saying,is his way of saying "SW" correct?I'm watching him saying this quite a long
He is a stammerer he said it in one of his video, so he understands what he is saying. We may not hear him clearly.
I have a son. Can he marry my uncle's daughter?
Do the father -in-law and mother-in- law have any obligations of taking care of the daughter in laws in Islam, if their sons are alive and taking care of their wife/ wives????. Things and world have changed now. Daughter in laws are the Queens. Do they really take care of their father and mother in laws???
This is a most unreasonable questions I have been hearing and respected Islamic Scholars are giving lectures on this topic but I have rarely seen that daughter in laws are taking care of their in laws. Majority they prefer to sponsor their own parents not the parents of their husbands.
Turn the questions upside down and see the comments. Has the son in law has any obligations to their father and mother in laws or brother and sisterin laws?????
The daughter in law dont need to take care of the mother in law, it is not within her responsibility to do so. Its the son's job to take care of his mother and the husband's job to take care of his wife. As a son, a leader, you need to step up and work both ways, your mother has rights upon you not your wife and your wife has rights upon you, not your mother. If you can't be a leader and handle both of the rights then don't marry. Being a leader is not an easy job, it needs a degree of wiseness and a degree of being stern to uphold justice in the marriage.
The son in law has no obligations to the father/mother in law as well, if you want to be virtuous and help your MIL/FIL, then you will be rewarded for your deeds but you can't expect your wife to do the same to your parents.
My wife don't want to live with my mother what should I do
give her a separate accommodation it's her rights and take care of your parents by yourself your wife is not your parent's servent for your arrange different quarter for your parents arrange maids or u takecare
@@sunmoon777-f1nwhat if he cant afford a maid?
And what about the time when he is in the job,who is gonna look after his old parents during that time?
RESPECT HER OPINION, she wants a MAN not a Mommys boy!
@@sunmoon777-f1n good advice i will help her , i already provided seperate accommodation
@@fallingleave5287 thanks for your advice 👍, i will help her in her households and provide her whatever she wants in rule
✋😍
Mother in law also cooks for daughter in law what u say for this
How many days did she cook for daughter in law? Have the daughter in law cook meals in return for the many days the mother in law cooked for her. Then they are even.
i want to tell all womens:- if you understand as you do, your husband will never be satisfied with you. He will never pray for you from his heart. I can guarantee this. You can never be completely happy in family life. You will never be an ideal wife. You will never be a perfect mother. You will never be an ideal daughter-in-law. You will never be an ideal mother-in-law when your children grow up. That person can never love you from the heart whose parents you don't love.
look after your own mother and grow up.
@@sarahm4516 Of course!!! As long as my mother was alive I loved my mother more than anything in the world. I used to wake up in the morning and look for my mother. The whole world seemed empty until I saw my mother's face once. I used to help my mother in housework in my spare time. Now I just pray for her, may Allah make my mother a resident of Jannat.
And advise you also to obey your parents and, if you are a woman, obey your husband after marriage and love them, and that is good for you.
@@warrior7740 everyone loves their mother, listen carefully, THEIR MOTHER, not their husbands mother, or their wifes mother, your responsibility is to YOUR mother, your wife has zero responsibilities toward YOUR mother, she has her own mother that she loves as you love your mother.
A wife has zero obligation towards her mother in law, zero, i'll say that again zero, if your angry with your wife because she doesn't serve your mother, that is a problem for YOU, as Allah did not command men or women to serve their in laws.
it doesn't matter if a man doesn't love his wife because she doesn't serve his mother, who wants the love of a man who won't be happy until you become a servant for his mother?
@@sarahm4516 Your lectures are worthless. Islam is based on Quran and Hadith. You don't know the meaning of the word "أطاع". But arguing about Islam. How funny
@@warrior7740 Yes it is, I also know well the meaning of the word as an arab, and your still wrong, your wife is under no obligation to serve your mother even if you you command her 1000 times, as you have no right to command her in the first place. a wife serves her husband and her children, the husband has no right to outsource her to serve others outside of him and the children.
as i said, who cares for the love of a man who wants to oppress his wife by making her become a servant of his mother, no woman wants such a man, and no father wants such a man for his daughter.
a wife has a mother, your mother did nothing for your wife, she has no authority over her, nor can she demand anything from your wife, your mother has authority of YOU, and its YOUR job to take care of her, not the daughter of another mothers job.
I think you are South Asian because no one else seems to struggle with this understanding like South Asian people, they are defiant in the face of islam and insist on following Hindu cultures and practises that are far from islam.
You can take a donkey to water but you cant make it drink, do what you want, but know that you will be held accountable for it, as you now cannot pretend before Allah swt that you didn't know.
Peace out
Mothers where I’m from are worse than second wives. They might as well sleep with their sons and put wife is another room
your comment is discusting.
To leave mother is not permissible,but yes man should help her wife in doing work either by himself or by hiring servants.. if a person leaves parents who need him, then a day will come,when he will be in need of his sons but they would have left him alone,
So , having good friendship like behavior with wife and same time taking care of his parents is liked by our CREATOR
Can I send mail to zakir sahab it's very must impotent because I am in problems since 25years I need some Islamic help .Plz. send me him email address
salamualaikum are u allright ?
let me see if i have his email
You better not contact scholars from the subcontinent..
Contact someone like Assim al hakeem or so
@@kaulathaboobacker190 because they say she should serve her in laws right ?
@@tindany3168 yes
You should contact Sheikh Asim Al Hakeem, Mufti Menk, or Tariq Jameel or listen to bayans by the late Dr Israr Ahmed. Depending on your issue it may already be answered in a video or audio fatwa. Always research an issue because people like Xakir Naik sadly put culture over Deen as we can see in many cases.
Wtf is he even saying? He said nothing
basically he is saying there is no clear cut black and white to this issue. A wife major priority is the husband, and the husband major priority is both the wife and his parents. If the wife wants to help to take care of her mother in law voluntarily, then it is ok, and she will be rewarded for it. If she refuses to do so also no problem as she has no responsibility towards her mother in law (her responsibility is towards the husband). The husband cannot force the wife to take care of his mother, it is within her rights and privacy to refuse. Who should take care of the mother? the son, and the father of course as they have clear cut responsibility towards the mother
Isaiah 66.3 devil meat no good Isaiah 7.15 milk curd butter honey good Jesus rev.4.7 lion young bull face like a man and eagl are worthy of worship only native American totem poll bot city revaluation bot city ♥️ bless you vegan Jesus gen1.29 gen21.19 Mathew 12.42 Joshua Rahab poverty same when you see God poverty gen21.19 same Rahab same
No no no noooooooooo!
Right sir...but many women are only like money of husband.....not like his mother and father.
How can you like your husband’s mother, if she talks about you and your SIL behind their backs? How can you like your husband’s mother if she complains about everything and your children? How can you like your husband’s mother if she hits your child, leaves a mark on him, and then laughs at him because he’s crying in pain? How can you like your husband’s mother if she throws trash on your floor, but at the same time complaining about your house when you are pregnant and tired? How can you like your husband’s mother if she acts like you are a servant to her and she’s never grateful for the things you do for her?
And if that woman is doing stuff for you, taking the burden of having YOUR children, the fact that you have rights over her body, she has every right over your money. We don’t get married just to serve a man, ruin our bodies, just to only get minimum amount of money, while y’all do whatever you like.
@muslimaaaagirl don't get married and serve your mother then.
@muslimaaaagirl I believe you meant avoid her. That will be the best kind of respect for a mother in law described above.
This is not complicated , For a Muskim Man its obligatory to love his mother n take care and be kind with them all the time even if they are not muslim. women should obey her husband, and its her major role to help her husband to enter jannah by taking his responsibilities and keep his parents.
If he cannot love and respect his wife then he should remain single and live happily with his mother. You cannot burden your wife with responsibilities which are not hers. And you also make easy for her to enter jannah
wives don't have any responsibility towards their in laws in the same way husbands don't have any responsibilities towards their in laws. Women need to cook and clean for their husbands only not their in laws. Islamic ally it's the rule
@muslimaaaagirl and every women should say no to the man who wants to separate her from her parents. And women are earning nowadays so they don't need a husband at all
@muslimaaaagirl yeah, we don't want a bossy husband. We want someone who think about us equally. Gone are those days when women were treated like cattles. And don't even dare to think that you're right from islamic point of view. Because you're cruel and no women should marry you
'Taking his responsibilities'- next thing people will say men should stay back at home uselessly and make his wife be the provider of the family. Husband's responsibilities are his own and he can't make anybody else take it on for him.