Are You the Husband Allah Describes? - Khutbah by Nouman Ali Khan

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  • Опубліковано 2 лис 2016
  • This Khutbah was recorded on October 14th, 2016 in the Bayyinah Musalla.
    Muslims must meet two sets of responsibilities, says Nouman Ali Khan: responsibilities towards Allah and towards people. While our obligations to Allah are clear and simple, with the only possibility of wrong-doing falling on us, human relationships are much more complicated. But the two are not separate from each other; if you fail in your responsibilities towards people, then you have also failed before Allah. Marital relationships are a case in point. Allah perfectly sums up the husband-wife connection in the first part of Aya 34 of Surat An-Nisaa: “Arrijaal qawwamuna ‘ala an-nisaa." Despite popular misconception, the word “qawwamuna” has nothing to do with authority, says Khan. Its core meaning combines the notions of activity, commitment, consistency, reliability and conferring value. Physical, emotional and spiritual abuse in the form of “religious blackmail” are not tolerated in Islam. On the contrary, husbands have a responsibility to actively maintain relationships, protect their spouses (even against their own parents, with respect) and to be the mentors and advisers who will help them fulfill their goals.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,1 тис.

  • @wayneschoeman4216
    @wayneschoeman4216 4 роки тому +813

    I am not Muslim though everything you have said hit home for me and gave me a new perspective -Thank you - if ur ever in South Africa I'd love to see you talk

    • @thesyndicate3859
      @thesyndicate3859 4 роки тому +38

      Oh that is really nice. He is one of the best speakers I listen to. He talks about things simply and not complex. If you want another speaker, his name is Mufti Menk. He does come to South Africa.

    • @S_1.618
      @S_1.618 3 роки тому +15

      May ALLAH guide you to the islam 🤲

    • @hameshabahar2344
      @hameshabahar2344 3 роки тому +7

      May Allah bless you dear 😊🤲🏼

    • @kashifaarahams3787
      @kashifaarahams3787 3 роки тому +12

      Mufti mink and Nouman Ali khan are the 2 top guys.

    • @ayeshaahmad9506
      @ayeshaahmad9506 2 роки тому +8

      And imam Omar Suleiman

  • @edwardcollins8270
    @edwardcollins8270 7 років тому +706

    I will try my best to treat my wife better than her dad. i never thought about it like that. i will.

    • @mishaali5626
      @mishaali5626 5 років тому +4

      obviously

    • @BR-KK
      @BR-KK 5 років тому +21

      Edward Collins The reality for many Muslim women: “I will try my best to beat my wife(s) better than her dad.”

    • @mishaali5626
      @mishaali5626 5 років тому +1

      B R Exactly.. its a scared thing that i have face

    • @BR-KK
      @BR-KK 5 років тому +2

      Misha Khuram I am sorry to hear that.

    • @taiwoaminu9882
      @taiwoaminu9882 5 років тому

      @@BR-KK why you wanna do this?

  • @relaxingoasis9945
    @relaxingoasis9945 4 роки тому +175

    I will treat my wife like the queen for the sake of ALLAH

    • @jina4416
      @jina4416 4 роки тому +28

      zain mouhammad I hope she treats you like a king in return. Ameen

    • @improwise2171
      @improwise2171 Рік тому +2

      May Allah bless you both!

    • @Milo-uv1is
      @Milo-uv1is 2 місяці тому +1

      Say Insha Allah please… 😂

    • @amber.aakhtar6988
      @amber.aakhtar6988 Місяць тому

      It’s a dua so I’ll say ameen suma ameen

  • @sarahexample2141
    @sarahexample2141 5 років тому +757

    To all the women.. may Allah give us Sabr.

    • @Peachybird24
      @Peachybird24 5 років тому +5

      Sara ali aamin

    • @AA-bo2qn
      @AA-bo2qn 5 років тому +66

      If the husband is oppressive, we are not to sit quietly, tell him, get advice, talk to Muslim scholar, and get him to educate himself.

    • @mevrouwpinda4592
      @mevrouwpinda4592 4 роки тому +1

      In sha Allah . Amin

    • @momwomeninbusiness2670
      @momwomeninbusiness2670 4 роки тому

      Amine! We’ve got this

    • @Vicky_94
      @Vicky_94 4 роки тому +1

      Ameen

  • @mahadshah3858
    @mahadshah3858 2 роки тому +57

    Thumbs up for every single man who is seeing this video for learning and self improvement. I can give guarantee that by making up your mind for being the husband that Allah describes, you are almost there because Qawwam is told in Quran as it is nature of men. I think the only reasons for abuse these days are addictions and lack of knowledge. So you will not have trouble if you are trying to learn islam and have kicked any addictions you had. Believe me. Sorry for bad English .

  • @Babka113
    @Babka113 7 років тому +326

    "Iblees makes us forget our responsibilities and he makes us think all the time about our rights.... These two things are independent of each other."

    • @maryambintboloca2100
      @maryambintboloca2100 4 роки тому +3

      We do have to think about both though...that's why Allah made them both very clear to us

    • @HAN_S0l0
      @HAN_S0l0 4 роки тому +1

      LMAO. A true example of how women will change everything to fit their point. The poster agrees with the rest of it because it aligns with their belief but wants to argue against something they don't like because they believe that men are inherently evil so devil has nothing to do with making them forget their responsibility. When we know that if there was no Shaytaan, there would be no evil because Shaytaan is who sways people. But go ahead and change the religion itself because it goes against your feminist idea of "Evil men".

    • @mahadshah3858
      @mahadshah3858 2 роки тому +1

      @@HAN_S0l0 what you say is 100% correct and accurate,
      but you can mention this thing in more of a decent way.

    • @Karinrinkashi
      @Karinrinkashi 2 роки тому +6

      @@mahadshah3858 Can you pin point exactly what was indecent in my reply? I did not use any slangs or curse words, I did not name call, or degrade.
      I did however point the basic issue of this Man vs Woman rivalry that is now taking a political turn even in Islam. And the biggest factor behind it is the feminist idea that men are inherently evil. Which goes against all basic Islamic teachings that men or women are not inherently evil. Shaytaan is the one who motivates them do bad deeds. But some women want to challenge that notion. And based on what proof? Their own misgivings about all men which are based on actions of some bad men who definitely exploited women and religion, and used their powers for all the wrong reasons.
      But that does not mean we have to let this kind of thinking go unchecked. If do not speak firmly against this feminist idea that has ripped our families apart then we will be responsible for all destroyed families in the future.
      A marriage is destined to fail if the woman who has married this man, already thinks that the man is inherently evil, when it is totally possible that he is not.
      There are evil people in society, there are men AND women who do horrendous things, there are MORE men who do evil things than women. But even those can be successfully defended against the tag of "born evil" when you discuss the matter in the perspective of childhood circumstances, socio-economic class, emotional trauma, and additiction history (which is usually a result of one of the above or many other factors in the first place).
      FBI has already tried to implement this pointless and judgemental ideology in the 70s when the cases of serial killers who would specifically target women started to rise significantly. They tried to argue that these people, and people like them, they are born evil. So there should be no trial for them nor should they be negotiated with unless it is a hostage situation. But then a few people got together to change that idea from amongst the FBI itselt and took onboard a psychologist with the name of Dr. Ann Wolbert. They all believe that the serial killers that society sees as just "born evil" have other issues going on. A child is born a child and something turns him into one or the other kind of human. Long story short, they went and interviewed some of the most famous serial killers of the time who were caught and prisoned, including Ed Kemper (who would kill women, behead them, and bury their heads in the yard, with their faces looking up at his mother's room window. He told this team of FBI that his mom used to abuse him so he started giving her gifts.).
      In the end, almost all of them had a childhood trauma or mistreatment by one of their female relatives (especially mothers) which then ended up turning them against women. Using this FBI was able to create a psychological profile (sort of a detection system based on person's experiences) to keep a track of high risk people.
      The point is, there is enough scientific evidence that nobody is inherently evil and turns bad "just because". Otherwise there is no need for day of judgement. Just burn everybody in hell and be done with it. And plus, that wouldn't be fair because nobody will really have any other choice but to be evil. And then they have to burn for something they can't control from the start?
      This idea is a plague and it needs to be squashed with the utmost urgency and the most strict tone!

  • @Mumsiken
    @Mumsiken 7 років тому +168

    The spiritual abuse hits close to home . I want to raise boys who are best husbands .

    • @kurioushan7032
      @kurioushan7032 7 років тому +6

      That's nice.Wish you all the best..amiin ☺

    • @kuwaalo9616
      @kuwaalo9616 7 років тому

      why raise them like men? they are children for god sake let them be kids.
      BUT raise them with good morals and attributes (:

    • @noname-cc4ox
      @noname-cc4ox 7 років тому +2

      Mashallah very important lecture. But two things must be addressed here:
      1) NAK being a public figure should explain what he learnt from his own divorce and how can we benefit from his experience of divorce.
      2) Whatever he is saying sounds good but how can I confidently implement it in my life after knowing that his own marriage resulted in failure after 6 kids.

    • @LightMeUp04
      @LightMeUp04 7 років тому +2

      no name where did you hear this? He has 7 kids btw

    • @nishan1603
      @nishan1603 7 років тому +1

      no name what in the world????Where do people get these assumptions?

  • @lailaob907
    @lailaob907 4 роки тому +371

    I am happy and thankful to my Allah as he has gifted me with a husband who is just like this. Supports me with everything. Helps me while cooking or washing dishes , even washing cloths, he is half of me and yes i am Asian 😁. There are very very good husbands in this world. Alhamdullah 🥰 May Allah gives us hidaya to be good husbands or wives .

    • @aceo_o2295
      @aceo_o2295 3 роки тому +8

      Masha Allah good for you

    • @malihahassanrana6331
      @malihahassanrana6331 3 роки тому +16

      MashaAllah may Allah SWT increase the love and respect between the two of you and bless you marraige all the way, Allahumma ameen

    • @lawlietlawliet
      @lawlietlawliet 2 роки тому +5

      Masha Allah.. may Allah grant me one as well 💔💔 ameen

    • @lailaob907
      @lailaob907 2 роки тому +7

      @@lawlietlawliet inshallah sister he will 🥰

    • @ajpeng7992
      @ajpeng7992 2 роки тому +7

      Alhamdullilah! I hope every Muslim husband would have the fear of Allah.

  • @Uluhbek97
    @Uluhbek97 6 років тому +586

    Lol I am not even married, and I am watching this.

  • @zahidanoor1943
    @zahidanoor1943 4 роки тому +279

    I wish my daughter would marry in future a pious well mannered man.ameen

  • @SeifJislam
    @SeifJislam 2 роки тому +68

    Alhamdulillah, i realize how much i do wrong to my wife. Alhamdulillah for this video. Thank you Sir Nouman, always the best from you, if i never got the chance to meet you and thank you personally for this Khutbah, i pray i can meet you in Jannah, in sha Allah.

  • @mosesainsz7002
    @mosesainsz7002 7 років тому +361

    brothers, one big problem is that we have to drop our egos and masculinity and become more vulnerable. This is because to show love, you have to receive it, and we can receive it fully if we don't let it in. You have to open up, let her love fully come in, and then return it. You think you're giving the love back but you're only giving back what you let in. It takes strength, but we have to do it.

    • @KnowledgeBoutique
      @KnowledgeBoutique 5 років тому +62

      Moses ainsz These things you mention do not require a man to reduce his masculinity, in fact one can argue that these are indeed qualities of absolute masculinity.

    • @cpking6593
      @cpking6593 5 років тому +18

      brother you used the word masculinity... you said right. The masculinity isn't to suppress, it is there to protect.

    • @dallyh.2960
      @dallyh.2960 4 роки тому +5

      Yes brothers. And sometimes we have to understand that sometimes he wants to be the bottom, and you can't hog the position no matter how tiring you find toping.

    • @cpking6593
      @cpking6593 4 роки тому +1

      Dally H. I somehow like your concept. I want you to elaborate it a bit more...

    • @dallyh.2960
      @dallyh.2960 4 роки тому +6

      @@cpking6593 Well brother it is really simple. Sometimes in a relationship we can hog the submissive role, but he doesn't speak up because he doesn't want to be rude or to put you in a position you don't want because he loves you. So sometimes we need to understand that about our man, and to offer ourselves to him to do more of the pushing when he doesn't speak up.
      It all comes down to honoring your partner, and wanting to please them through knowing what they need in a relationship that they don't like asking for. I'm sure your familiar with the situation, it's pretty common in our community.

  • @jrplayground1145
    @jrplayground1145 5 років тому +195

    Sorry for men who are not satisfied with this lecture. It just means u hv no respect for your mother. Sorry for mothers who are not satisfied with this lecture, it just means u juz don’t want to believe that your son is Allah’s. And I’m sorry u probably was not treated right by ur husband. Marriage means that a man accepted a lot and a lot of responsibilities. But many men wanted to jump into it asap for avoiding zina lol. I said the same thing to my husband before we got married. Qawwam has nothing to do authority over me. Juz know this, if u give me constant love and protection, i will give my loyalty to our lovely marriage. Alhamdulillah he is the best man i have ever met. He is not perfect but he learn through his flaws and tries his best to fullfill his responsibilities. I love him. For years, now and insyallah forever. We are partners in Islam. Ws

    • @aasi0814
      @aasi0814 4 роки тому +7

      Masha Allah!!!! May Allah keep both of us blessed together!!!

    • @multazimhashmi2709
      @multazimhashmi2709 4 роки тому +1

      mashallah allah nazaer se bachye aap dono ku.

    • @JahannamHellfire
      @JahannamHellfire 4 роки тому +1

      My husband is Muslim and he destroyed my life also my love for him by cheating, lying and polygamy marriage only for sex with different women! He had many wives and still going after hoes for sex online! The women didn't know he was married so dont trust people just because they look good in you're face! My husbands family didn't know he had secret wife and girlfriends only for sex!!! I'm only warning you.

    • @Kireniimran
      @Kireniimran 4 роки тому

      lucky you!

    • @mich1904
      @mich1904 4 роки тому +1

      Dont be a secret wife!!! ur makin it sound like its a muslim thing. its not. if that really did happen to u. then im sorry that u met a horrible man. he will go to hell if he committed such things as u described. but it just sounds like u have personal issues, and are trying to force them onto others. like a girl that dated or married a bad man and then thinks all men all trash. which is ignorance. same applies when it’s reversed.

  • @Yous0147
    @Yous0147 7 років тому +378

    I pray to be a man described the way Allah described us men to be. Thank you for another outstanding lecture, sincerely!

    • @raya4721
      @raya4721 5 років тому +4

      Yous0147 ameen brother

    • @zalishaabdool7030
      @zalishaabdool7030 Рік тому

      We Come..."ALIVE HERE!! FULLY ALIVE!!"

    • @abdullahhaq7141
      @abdullahhaq7141 Рік тому

      All the best brother, we can only duly pray to Allah and seek his guidance to keep us on the righteous path... Let's improve alongside Allah.

  • @doyoureadme94
    @doyoureadme94 Рік тому +32

    I am another non-religious viewer, who often seeks out these talks whenever I find myself conflicted with questions. I really needed this message today.

    • @ashhadkalam8995
      @ashhadkalam8995 5 місяців тому +1

      Dont you think solution to problem of mankind is only through the scripture of God?

    • @shesnour
      @shesnour 4 місяці тому +4

      Congrats on having a heart that recognizes the truth .. May allah guide us all 🤍

  • @shabanasiraj1566
    @shabanasiraj1566 4 роки тому +46

    Hope my sons be blessed with the teachings of Islam

  • @naimaelmi9583
    @naimaelmi9583 3 роки тому +41

    To all those who are unmarried! Men and women..... May God grant us pious offspring who will be the coolness of our eyes 🤲

  • @JadedbutnotJarred
    @JadedbutnotJarred 7 років тому +53

    Subhanallah, the mentioning of when the prophet s.a.w said, " Do not hit the female slaves of Allah.'' This made me contemplate those who even have done this crime, it is not just a crime against the woman, it is a crime against Allah s.w.t, the most great. May Allah guide these people and us and may Allah forgive them and Forgive us. Jazak'Allah Kheiran for a well thought-out and very tactfully delivered khutbah about such important issues.

  • @arianeozalp6212
    @arianeozalp6212 7 років тому +566

    I would love a version "Are You the Wife Allah Describes? '' :D

    • @anarhaciyev5509
      @anarhaciyev5509 7 років тому +41

      Ariane Siqueira inshaAllah you will be such a wife by protecting yourself from evil by wearing hijab that will make you remain so beautiful not only in your youth but also in your old ages and but also after death.

    • @ttrdf
      @ttrdf 6 років тому +19

      I think he said he is going to make a lecture about it next. we always have to please remember to observe wisdom and good advice to people when you're actually trying to advice people.

    • @theturtleyo
      @theturtleyo 6 років тому +3

      Kate Middleton widow women are allowed to remarry in islam.

    • @sumeyasomaya3047
      @sumeyasomaya3047 6 років тому +1

      Anar Haciyev masallah very nice and wisley choose words

    • @hankhill3871
      @hankhill3871 5 років тому +2

      Kate Middleton but if the husband is dead

  • @almedinarogo9000
    @almedinarogo9000 4 роки тому +12

    This man is a blessing not only for muslims but to the mankind as well.

  • @ianmenere2143
    @ianmenere2143 4 роки тому +18

    As a new revert to Islam and lack of connection to be a good Muslim,I have failed the women in my life . Thankyou for making this available Allhumdulila I am more aware if my responsibility as a man .I pray I continue to put my efforts to learn more ... Inshallah

    • @ianmenere2143
      @ianmenere2143 4 роки тому +6

      My wife is the one who introduced me to Islam ....Alumdulila

  • @piqueny8872
    @piqueny8872 7 років тому +466

    so DONT hurt her, don't change her, DONT try to analyze and DONT expect more than she can give, smile when she make you happy, Let her know when she makes you mad miss her when she's not there- bob marley
    DIVORCED ADVICE-
    most men arent smart enough to realize the higher you elevate your women, the less available she is for other men, when you break her down, you make her accessible to anyone she thinks will treat her better.

    • @urwashahid9210
      @urwashahid9210 7 років тому +11

      Pique NY absolutely correct

    • @rosyad8012
      @rosyad8012 7 років тому +1

      Pique NY

    • @reu7215
      @reu7215 7 років тому +4

      Pique NY MashaAllah

    • @Ashnesss
      @Ashnesss 6 років тому +20

      Pique NY very true! But smart women are not that dumb. They'll make silent moves and the guy will end up looking like a fool lol 😂

    • @issackabdi6946
      @issackabdi6946 6 років тому

      Pique NY kk

  • @TedeburTube
    @TedeburTube 2 роки тому +22

    I'm not even married but i think You encouraged me to get married and be like allah wants me to be for my wife

  • @headmistressggpspathanwala7050
    @headmistressggpspathanwala7050 4 роки тому +13

    I am not married. Not a man still watching so that I may know how my future hubby should be.

  • @gul2745
    @gul2745 4 роки тому +32

    These are men who are brought up by women unfortunately ,their illiterate mother's, who don't teach them one basic thing and that is to respect a woman. I have been abused emotionally,mentally , physically,tortured and harassed by my husband,his family, community and the society I live in. And yes, these kind of animals don't watch this kind of bayan, if they had so much knowledge and sense they wouldn't be the animals they are. But thank you so much for such a wonderful bayan. May Allah bless you for speaking true words from the Qur'an..Aameen

    • @ashmazad857
      @ashmazad857 4 роки тому

      Animals????? My sister are you mentally ok..Islam teaches to be patient and wise with your words

    • @gul2745
      @gul2745 4 роки тому +8

      @@ashmazad857 You address me as a sister and still ask the question? I guess you don't have a sister in real..So you don't know the pain of a sister...

    • @ashmazad857
      @ashmazad857 4 роки тому +1

      Apologies I didnt intend offend .I have a mother,sisters,daughters, niece's Allhumdulilah.
      On a personal note =my assetts wer worth £2.3million.Banks wanted ther money back.i chose to sell to my In-laws to pay off debt and save assetts for my family ie my wife kids .
      My Brother in law slept on it for 4 weeks after agreement with our both legal advisers.
      And last minute chose to pull out upon advise from my wife (his sister)and my mother in law..Banks repossessed my properties and sold them in Auction .I lost £3/million today's values.
      Now i get abuse from my wife and kids that I have no money. As they want to live in luxury.
      May Allah out prayers and forgive us all for our misdeeds.Ameen

    • @gul2745
      @gul2745 4 роки тому +1

      @@ashmazad857 I am sorry you had to go through this . I wish your wife had been more understanding and had tried to co operate with you brother. You must have read about my situation what I have been put through by my husband,in laws ,our community and the society at large. May Allah guide us to the right path and resolve our problems. Aameen....

    • @ashmazad857
      @ashmazad857 4 роки тому +1

      My dear thanks for reply, I fully sympathise with you ,,after years actually 33yrs to be precise.I still find no peace with family. All I find is praying ,reading the Quran in translation Allhumdulilah helps immensely. As Allah says we must all move forward and Allah will.punish the wrong and Allah will compensate the wronged.My sister it is a hard life,sometimes Allah keeps on testing us..But I have found with study now that sometimes silence can be the best reply as it hurts whom want you to explode ,as they want to see you upset,vexed it feeds there narcissism. MAY ALLAH GUIDE YOU AMEEN!!!

  • @noreenakhtar7214
    @noreenakhtar7214 4 роки тому +65

    Unfortunately my husband doesn’t see my hurt especially when he has made grave mistakes. When I try to speak he believes I’m being confrontational. May Allah SWT give me patience, but the day my patience runs out - nothing will make me stay with him.

    • @sasa_homes
      @sasa_homes 4 роки тому +11

      Aamin. Also, remember Allah loves you. So after a while of you practising sabr, ask yourself "would Allah be happy if you kept yourself in this situation if he's not changing?". Ask Him for His guidance, i promise He will guide you. I wish you all the best💗💗

    • @justexploreshare7356
      @justexploreshare7356 2 роки тому

      same , me too

    • @imane3170
      @imane3170 Рік тому

      Same here ...

    • @peaceofthemind815
      @peaceofthemind815 Рік тому +1

      In the name of privacy most of the husbands talk other girls and hide message from their wife nd expect their wifes to trust them... Strange😢

  • @Hikmatee
    @Hikmatee 7 років тому +131

    May Allah bless me with a husband like Ustand Nouman Ali Khan. Masha Allah, he is adorable the way he is :)

    • @rosyad8012
      @rosyad8012 7 років тому +7

      little star only if he doesn't divorce you after 13 years of married and having 7 children.

    • @LightMeUp04
      @LightMeUp04 7 років тому +1

      Ista Sadhya where did you hear that? Ive been seeing it a lot online

    • @Ms23Lolita
      @Ms23Lolita 7 років тому +3

      little star Ameen

    • @sharmink
      @sharmink 7 років тому +1

      little star best of luck sister

    • @lymaabdoul
      @lymaabdoul 6 років тому

      Kate Middleton seriously ?? God !

  • @nabeehaessam2084
    @nabeehaessam2084 7 років тому +131

    I couldn't hold my tears throughout this video.

    • @addeymir
      @addeymir 7 років тому +22

      I pray Allah swt makes it easy for you sister!

    • @queenland2882
      @queenland2882 7 років тому +18

      me too im actually naturally quite mentally strong, i know
      no one going to understand how i feel.
      i know people will always let me down that's why i don't
      really need anyone to tell me that, it's okay, everything going to be fine or your beautiful etc.
      i don't think i need a shoulder to cry. Because Allah swt is enough for me.
      you know we should actually love ourselves the way we want
      someone else to love us

    • @noorahabeeb
      @noorahabeeb 5 років тому

      Same

    • @mishaali5626
      @mishaali5626 5 років тому

      mee too

    • @Kireniimran
      @Kireniimran 4 роки тому +1

      same got teary eyed!

  • @noordarbs2539
    @noordarbs2539 7 років тому +45

    We need one for women as well!

  • @RealCoachMustafa
    @RealCoachMustafa 4 роки тому +31

    This is my third time listening to this because it's always a good reminder. And if it shows up on my UA-cam recommendations feed, then it's likely because Allah wants me to be reminded.

  • @Sailboat784
    @Sailboat784 6 місяців тому +2

    This man is bringing non-believers closer to Allah. I have never been religious, but I come to this man for guidance and consolation whenever I’m in trouble. From someone about as American as it gets

  • @shamsiyanoorulquloob281
    @shamsiyanoorulquloob281 7 років тому +175

    This!

    • @kurioushan7032
      @kurioushan7032 7 років тому

      I really like that too 😃👍

    • @SHAJ3304
      @SHAJ3304 7 років тому +1

      Amazing!

    • @noname-cc4ox
      @noname-cc4ox 7 років тому +3

      Mashallah very important lecture. But two things must be addressed here:
      1) NAK being a public figure should explain what he learnt from his own divorce and how can we benefit from his experience of divorce.
      2) Whatever he is saying sounds good but how can I confidently implement it in my life after knowing that his own marriage resulted in failure after 6 kids.

    • @r.mdmuzaffar4417
      @r.mdmuzaffar4417 7 років тому +1

      Shamsiya Noorul Quloob alhamdulilah

    • @shamsiyanoorulquloob281
      @shamsiyanoorulquloob281 7 років тому +14

      Did not know he was divorced - SubhanAllah!
      May Allah heal him and his ex-wife and may Allah protect their kids.
      I pray Allah makes them both amazing pious single parents.
      Also divorce doesn't always mean failure. In most cases divorce is a solution.
      Since neither of us know him or his wife personally I do not think we need to link his knowledge and his position as a public figure with what transpired between him and his wife and what lead to the decision of divorce.
      In most of the talks especially the talk about Modesty on Bayyinah TV I have heard him praise his wife so much.
      Only Allah knows what happened and as literally mere spectators we can only make dua for both of them and for their beautiful children.
      And I am sure in future he will explain about divorce and his lessons but that's his prerogative and choice. Just because he is a public figure and is divorced we cannot expect him to start sharing one of the most vulnerable experience of his life with public.
      Definitely need to respect their boundaries.
      May Allah heal both their hearts - ameen ya rabbi.
      Jazak Allah khair for your comment. I had no idea. They both will be in my constant duas now.

  • @didadie7304
    @didadie7304 7 років тому +53

    its just amazing how the quran teach us so muchhhh

  • @Sashologist
    @Sashologist 5 років тому +30

    22:50 ...I knew it!!! It felt like spiritual abuse as well. I'm a recent convert to Islam but I get the gist of this way of life &Alhamdulillah I READ the Qur'an

  • @uroojtabish
    @uroojtabish 5 років тому +513

    sorry to say.. but these kind of husbands don't even listen to these khutbas... if they had a fear from Allah at first plc they would have understand this before getting married...

    • @LindsayBethHartman
      @LindsayBethHartman 5 років тому +6

      We can hope one day

    • @aftabahmad8185
      @aftabahmad8185 5 років тому +30

      But most of our Asian Husband do this kind of stuff because that's the mentality they have been brought up with...so it does help

    • @nazmunnnazmun6768
      @nazmunnnazmun6768 5 років тому +1

      Exactly!!

    • @wishuponhealing
      @wishuponhealing 4 роки тому +22

      urooj dar you are very right. They don’t even know these modern scholars who are trying to revive sunahs and break shackles of cultural norms that ruined the marriages or woman’s mental health.

    • @fatma-et4yk
      @fatma-et4yk 4 роки тому +7

      urooj dar u r right, they are not true believers to begin with just lip service 😞

  • @parveennehar3290
    @parveennehar3290 4 роки тому +19

    May Allah swt give us women sabr and make it easy for us all to keep trying to make marriage work. Ameen

  • @crystaldawn8875
    @crystaldawn8875 2 роки тому +11

    Im from a Native American background and in the teachings of many tribes for the Husband and Wife..is..The wife is to inspire her mate to come close to God and his role is to protect her as she walks the earth. This lecture is amazing Thank You✨🌼

  • @lovenature904
    @lovenature904 4 роки тому +8

    I'm 21 and I will try to watch this every year before marriage and almost 30 times the day I get married Insha"Allah and continue watching this after marriage. I am learning so much from this and I will try to be a just husband, the way Allah described.

  • @letitrain34
    @letitrain34 4 роки тому +9

    Mufti Menk, Yasir Qadhi, Omer Soloman and Nouman Ali Khan. Are true Scholars and amazing Sheikhs of Islam at this challenging times and all talk about the rights of women in Islam. May Allah (swt) Reward them all with Janatul-Fardows

    • @mahadshah3858
      @mahadshah3858 2 роки тому

      Well they also have spoken about men rights at certain occassion but one thing is common that everyone of them in their speech always nailed it and explain wonderfully about the right of marriage itself. Few things I derive from there lectures is the most important requirement of marriage is
      1) Trust
      2) Compromise
      3) Forgiveness
      4) Same purpose ( Be the best version of yourself)
      And most important
      5) Communication

  • @roheenasyed4911
    @roheenasyed4911 4 роки тому +12

    Nobody explains the things the way you do....tears rolled down my eyes...

  • @royaamin2939
    @royaamin2939 7 років тому +41

    this is saddening so much .... I'm scared for my parents ... may Allah gives me enough Hikma so I can do something for their relation so it be healthy

  • @shamsiyanoorulquloob281
    @shamsiyanoorulquloob281 7 років тому +18

    Massive Jazak Allah khair Ustadh Nouman and Team bayyinah!
    About time this was addressed - we need more Shuyookh to address this and address Muslim men directly.
    So many confuse being Qawwam as being mini dictators at home and so many use spiritual blackmailing - subhanAllah!

  • @somjan7124
    @somjan7124 7 років тому +60

    Can't wait tel next khutbah.every speech he gives it just makes my life brighter.

  • @tanyadesmarais1096
    @tanyadesmarais1096 4 роки тому +47

    I’m dealing with emotional abuse from my husband.

    • @djayzjayd7114
      @djayzjayd7114 4 роки тому +22

      No Woman Deserves That
      Sister May Allah Fulfill Your Needs In This World And The Hereafter In The Most Beautiful Way...Ameen

    • @rajababy2009
      @rajababy2009 4 роки тому +5

      try your best to realize him and if he does not understand then act as per your situation because we dont know your real situation sister ..May ALLAH SWT helps you sister ameen summa ameen

    • @sarahdelumbar4540
      @sarahdelumbar4540 4 роки тому +8

      May u will find happiness under the power of Allah subhanah was taala..

    • @JahannamHellfire
      @JahannamHellfire 4 роки тому +6

      My husband is Muslim and he destroyed my life also my love for him by cheating, lying and polygamy marriage only for sex with different women! He had many wives and still going after hoes for sex online! The women didn't know he was married so dont trust people just because they look good in you're face! My husbands family didn't know he had secret wife and girlfriends only for sex!!! I'm only warning you.

    • @SuicideRedemption
      @SuicideRedemption 4 роки тому +2

      Same.
      I hope it gets better for you

  • @adamharrisakarexon9492
    @adamharrisakarexon9492 7 років тому +45

    I am a Pakistani and I really want to meet Nouman Ali Khan.

  • @MuhammadAli-wy6ku
    @MuhammadAli-wy6ku 7 років тому +24

    Great Great Great. I learn a lot May Allah make ua good Husband, brothers, sons. Allah help us and give us patience.

  • @islamamir8267
    @islamamir8267 4 роки тому +3

    Can’t watch this without a drop of tear each minute

  • @shumailaarshadkhan8060
    @shumailaarshadkhan8060 5 років тому +2

    This is beautiful. Men in this part of the really need this piece of advice.

  • @lockzy21
    @lockzy21 7 років тому +5

    this is by far one of the best and most elaborate lectures about the husband and wife relationship. Barak Allahu Feekum Ustad Nauman Ali Khan.

  • @maheenzafar8929
    @maheenzafar8929 3 роки тому +5

    It gets tiring to be honest. Men will go google and search "wife's responsibilities" "wife's obedience" but won't look into themselves are they really the men Allah describes? A husband's responsibility isn't just financial support to wife, what about emotional support? The most important of them.

  • @ajpeng7992
    @ajpeng7992 2 роки тому +2

    I hope that every Muslim man remembers these principles as much as expected by Allah.

  • @fardowsamohamed7731
    @fardowsamohamed7731 5 років тому +7

    Ma sha Allah TabarakaAllah brother, I haven’t heard anyone that made more sense today. JazakAllah kheir 😊😊😊😊

  • @mybigbellybutton1552
    @mybigbellybutton1552 7 років тому +206

    I'm third comment. I'd like to thank my mum, my dad, my little cousin who always had faith in me, i'd like to thank my procrastination to allow me to be here and yeah.

    • @rahmaaden1189
      @rahmaaden1189 7 років тому +2

      Mybig Bellybutton 😂😂😂😂🏅

    • @mybigbellybutton1552
      @mybigbellybutton1552 7 років тому

      lol

    • @pearls9957
      @pearls9957 7 років тому +2

      procrastination looooool

    • @7teen238
      @7teen238 7 років тому

      shut up

    • @0s0sXD
      @0s0sXD 6 років тому

      Mybig Bellybutton😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @Waed2011
    @Waed2011 7 років тому +17

    بارك الله فيك وزادك الله تعالى من فضله.

  • @Gfssjr
    @Gfssjr 5 років тому

    Thank you! You are absolutely right! May ALLAH bless you!

  • @shifashaikh787
    @shifashaikh787 Рік тому +5

    first time watching a man in islam that is teaching men on how to be men? Coz most I find lectures of men teaching women on how to be a women

  • @kawtharbakhach5848
    @kawtharbakhach5848 5 років тому +139

    Itwould be ridiculous for Muslim men to get worked up about a single lecture describing how to be the ideal husband or what your wife should be able to expect from you. Lectures like that are all too rare- whereas muslim women are constantly being told "the rights of the husband" and "how to be a dutiful wife" . Literally, this is the only youtube clip I have seen so far not harping on about the husband's rights and choosing to see the other side instead.

    • @aishaqazi9062
      @aishaqazi9062 5 років тому +22

      Yeah.. And what is more sad is he had to pre-pacify the men "don't worry...I'll tell them too". Just shows the mindset of the society.

    • @Meatwad787
      @Meatwad787 4 роки тому +1

      Aisha Qazi Meanwhile I see more khutbas about men's responsibilities than women. Maybe we are only seeing what we need to see?

    • @katalenaanastasia
      @katalenaanastasia 4 роки тому +2

      because islam limits how women can obtain information... I assume this is why most lectures are focused towards them... its rare and potentially inappropriate for a woman to walk up to a man and have these open conversations on these topics. however a good husband should be able to have open dialog with his wife to explain what his expectations are.

    • @summaiyarobi4915
      @summaiyarobi4915 4 роки тому

      So true!!!!

    • @PB-si5zt
      @PB-si5zt 4 роки тому +10

      @@katalenaanastasia I must disagree with you, prophet Muhammad peace be upon him spoke to women with great respect about every topic he spoke to men about and made a point to display the rights of women even in his last sermon, in fact Islam isn't the issue it is perfect in its entirety (the manual isn't broken the user is choosing another path), it is the indoctrination to secularization and cultural misappropriation and backward thinking that is the opposite of Islam. The greatest scholars of history were muslim women, case in pin the first university was made by a morrocan muslim woman called Fatima may Allah sw be pleased with her.

  • @sarahbelle872
    @sarahbelle872 4 роки тому +4

    Baraka allahou fik, that was beautiful, my husbands nativr language is arabic, and I would love to have these lessons with arabic subtitles, thank you soo much ♡

  • @mohammedibrahim9979
    @mohammedibrahim9979 3 роки тому

    Masha Allah... a brilliant reminder to all.... may Allah guide us all ... Aameen

  • @fatilukeman1918
    @fatilukeman1918 4 роки тому

    Maa shaa Allah,Nouman Khan.may Allah khair be with you🌷🌷

  • @aasiafr
    @aasiafr 7 років тому +6

    One of the best lectures on the responsibilities of a husband towards his wife. Masha Allah

  • @amehnn
    @amehnn 5 років тому +5

    i love this and i am glad u said the truth i am a man and i needed this

  • @nawedfaizi2042
    @nawedfaizi2042 4 роки тому +1

    Mashallah very well said brother Nouman may Allah guide us all to the straight path and keep us all away from shaitans waswasa. Ameen

  • @yasminemoussaali6072
    @yasminemoussaali6072 2 роки тому

    May Allah bless this brother he spoke the truth May Allah give us more leader like him Allahouma Amin

  • @romeochannel998
    @romeochannel998 4 роки тому +7

    I wanna get married, ya Muslimin make dua for me. InshaAllah the girl am I’m gonna marry gonna be coolness of my eyes 👀, make dua for me!!. And may allah bless every single person and give them a happy life ❤️❤️

  • @kurioushan7032
    @kurioushan7032 7 років тому +9

    amazing! may Allah s.w.t. bless you ustaz 👍thank you again as always for an eye opening khutbah.

  • @allhealingcomesfromallaah
    @allhealingcomesfromallaah 6 місяців тому

    Jazak Allaahu Khayran
    Allaahumma Aameen to all the Duas!

  • @faryals0862
    @faryals0862 7 років тому +1

    whenever I feel frustrated and agitated, I come to this channel and it puts me at ease. Jazak Allah for that... Please do a video on the eldest son and his responsibilities towards his own family (wife and children) and towards his siblings...

  • @sheralikhan3796
    @sheralikhan3796 3 роки тому +6

    One of the most fun islamic speakers, JazakAllah brother !!

  • @rydertoolsllc80
    @rydertoolsllc80 7 років тому +6

    Masha Allah, what a wonderful lecture. It really shows how Islam came to guide every aspect of our lives. Especially what he talked about around minute 15 was especially relevant in my life as a husband and son. May Allah preserve brother Nouman.

  • @azimahjalil610
    @azimahjalil610 5 років тому +1

    I am very happy that you share these informations alhamdulillah. Some people misunderstood the religion of Islam specially muslim in Asian countries. Jazakallah khair for your beautiful reminder to all of our brothers.

  • @jikat2874
    @jikat2874 Рік тому

    Ma sha Allah baraka Allah! Jazzaka Allahu hairan brother for a reminder!

  • @swiftallan5094
    @swiftallan5094 6 років тому +3

    Wow! U have shed light onto very important subject which us men don't understand, we just know that haven is under the feet of ur mum.
    Thank you, Allah bless you always

  • @tahirariaz8506
    @tahirariaz8506 Рік тому +4

    My heart melts and eyes get filled with tears whenever I listen to you. You are amazing. May Allah SWT make you and your family prosper

  • @alishahzaib1369
    @alishahzaib1369 Рік тому

    Jazak Allah, the best lecture I found on this topic. ♥️

  • @amanullahs7283
    @amanullahs7283 3 роки тому

    Subuhan Allah Islam is the best, great, I cannot describe any word very best way of life ❤❤❤
    I learned when I search for any Ayat in Quran I need to understand full Ayat and the context and the subject.

  • @prettycaramel9237
    @prettycaramel9237 5 років тому +6

    Islam is beautiful. So beautiful.

  • @junebug7363
    @junebug7363 5 років тому +3

    Another fantastic video from my favorite speaker.....thank you for all your sharing and your humble way of explaining....may Allah bless you

  • @kheddarvarhnz
    @kheddarvarhnz Рік тому +2

    Working a better Man for the woman who Allah has made for me. Thank you for this insight. May Allah make it easy for us to be better Muslims. Ameen

  • @helalaman4982
    @helalaman4982 6 років тому +1

    Thank you for this video. It will change my life for the better Insha'Allah

  • @sykashafi3808
    @sykashafi3808 3 роки тому +5

    Your every word is so precious. May allah preserve you. Love you

  • @ahsanghumman4497
    @ahsanghumman4497 7 років тому +19

    Very touchy topic beautifully explained.

  • @syedarifpov
    @syedarifpov 3 роки тому

    Ma sha Allah. What a solid and precise speech.

  • @anujarahim8533
    @anujarahim8533 Рік тому

    Jazak Allah khairan katheerah ustad. Learned the new dimensions of Qawwam, Alhamdulillah. May Allah swt reward you immensely for imparting beautiful knowledge. Aameen

  • @arshadcrazee
    @arshadcrazee 7 років тому +4

    Allaah give Jazaae khair to Nouman Ali Khan.. It is a Reminder to all us men to be kind to our wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters, and treat them with respect, dignity, not rebuke them, help to fulfill their goals, take a stand for them... Allaah help us all in doing that...

  • @goldentrout4811
    @goldentrout4811 7 років тому +5

    As always, incredible!

  • @shobra1234
    @shobra1234 2 роки тому +1

    Great Khotba and may Allah bless you

  • @karimmoorad4128
    @karimmoorad4128 3 роки тому +2

    May Allah bless your tongue Br Nouman. This is very important information

  • @tiesties536
    @tiesties536 4 роки тому +9

    I'm not married but recently I looked up the meaning of surat nissah and I was angry and felt pain in my heart. I was only thinking about my rights as a woman. Few hours later I looked it up from another perspective in my mind and said my dua after taraweeh ; La illaha illa anta subhanaka inni kuntu min azzalaimin. After that I felt so much peace overwelming me because I knew that my intention is to have a man that is good for me and to be a pillar in my life whom I respect inshallah. Then the next morning subhannalah I see this video and now it even makes more sense to me. Allah o Akbar❤Ramadan kareem🙏

    • @rajasah5305
      @rajasah5305 3 роки тому +4

      Sister same in case of me. In my country, that verse of surah nisa used to explain the authority óver women. They translate it like," Men are the master of women" or " Men are authoritative of women". So whenever I used to read this wrong and patriarchal translation, I used to fill extremely sad and angry. But all praises to the almighty Allah, very soon I found the real meaning of the verse and I was completely astonished. May Allah protect us all from misconceptions and distortions. Ameen.

    • @mamiyaaitashi
      @mamiyaaitashi 2 роки тому +2

      @@rajasah5305 ameen sum ameen. And same here I got mad. But then I understood that it means women should be respected by men.

  • @shaheenjamal4556
    @shaheenjamal4556 5 років тому +3

    So nicely explained... Masha Allah
    Constant is the perfect word described 👍

  • @tabassumzaheer615
    @tabassumzaheer615 4 роки тому +3

    I am a sister from India Hyderabad listened to this impressive lecture mayAllaha give immense ajar in here and hereafter to nouman Ali Khan and his family for enlightening us on such a sensitive issue ...May Allaha help us to rectify our ignorance and forgive us our sins guide us Ameen ...summa Ameen .. This special lecture is a blessing a gem that safes nd prevent families from collapsing j .may Allah tala bless nouman sir for spreading the true essence of our Deen and it's beautiful teachings of Islam .. I am a great fan of you ..your lectures that had guided and helping me to understand my Deen better and in my life theory and practically following may Allaha forgive my shortcomings it is through you that I am I try to be a good muslimahama jazakumullahu khairan kaseer for the islaaha.

  • @YasminYoruba
    @YasminYoruba 5 років тому +2

    Alhamdulillah for this 🙏🏽

  • @erikahammerramalho1025
    @erikahammerramalho1025 4 роки тому +3

    May Allah bless Nouman Khan and his family and loved ones♥️🌹💐.MaashaAllah 🌹 He truly inspired me to get closer to Allah. He is a blessing. He talks about the very important issues that are not talked about enough or at all. Alot of Muslims think for example you can hit women but in fact this is not Islam at all. Allahu Akbar 💖 💐 🌹 🌻 💕 🌷 Most Gracious Most Merciful.

  • @shahanasali1321
    @shahanasali1321 5 років тому +35

    Dear everyone, now I am staying separated from my husband as he I'll treated me.please pray for my life to become good as I wished with my husband...

    • @user-id6fv3xt9v
      @user-id6fv3xt9v 5 років тому +2

      Allah youslihou baynakouma wa yajma3ou Baynakouma fima youhibouhou wa yardah

    • @shahanasali1321
      @shahanasali1321 5 років тому +2

      @@user-id6fv3xt9v
      Brother,I don't know Arabic well.Can you say the translation of what you said in English please...

    • @user-id6fv3xt9v
      @user-id6fv3xt9v 5 років тому +5

      @@shahanasali1321 I'm not that good in english. But this is what google traduction said :
      (God fit among you and brings you together with what He loves and desires)
      With All My Respect

    • @shahanasali1321
      @shahanasali1321 5 років тому +3

      @@user-id6fv3xt9v
      Thanks brother,do remember me and my sadness in your duas

    • @ukhtiehafsah6750
      @ukhtiehafsah6750 5 років тому +2

      May Allah make it easy ya ukhti, may your sadness become happiness. Ameeen

  • @ubsmenu7630
    @ubsmenu7630 2 роки тому

    Subhan Allah what a beautiful Description of Qawwam that really goes with Islamic teachings of treating woman with love & everyone will be questioned for his/her own deeds.

  • @MGeeo
    @MGeeo 5 років тому

    Beautiful.. Peaceful.. May Allah give you upper family strength and barakah.. Long life with fulfilment and peaceful contentment of Soul, Mind and Heart Ameen .. Keep up the Great Work.. Positive Vibes.. Alhamdolillah we are blessed by Allah through you. Proud of you Brother

  • @anikaali7009
    @anikaali7009 4 роки тому +2

    SubhanAllah! How beautiful is our Deen! Men not only have the responsibility to protect women but to support and guide them to fulfil their ambitions! Sadly, in our South-Eastern culture the men think their responsibilities are to only feed and clothe women and make them feel useless...

  • @StaraEsthetic
    @StaraEsthetic 7 років тому +5

    Brother Norman Ali Khan, mashaallah you are really eloquent speaker, and undoubtedly one of the most influential speakers. Alhamdulillah you are a great gift from almighty Allah in our deen Islam. The pictures you have described about (Qawam) the husband is supposed to do with wife, unfortunately they do just opposite, most of the time they are dominator, oppressive, and passive in motivation to the wives. And those pains multiplied if the wife lives with in laws. May Allah reward you with plenty of blessings, hasana and give you jannah in hereafter for your all the good deeds and efforts, Amin.

  • @Sashologist
    @Sashologist 5 років тому +1

    Masha'Allah by the grace &mercy of Allah swt I am very intuitive to my part &I put it into action w/o regard or expectation of reciprocity. And this is natural for me w/o being told so Alhamdulillah for this beneficial reminder of a video to keep me on this track Allahu Akbar

  • @nurn.3969
    @nurn.3969 5 років тому +2

    This vedio should be available to every new family to b. So important