Wives and in-Laws - That's Messed Up! - Nouman Ali Khan
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- Опубліковано 13 гру 2015
- A husband and a wife have a relationship with each other, with their own parents, and their own siblings. One of these relationships should not superimpose on another relationship and take you away from fulfilling its rights and responsibilities. A new episode of "That's Messed Up" will be available every Monday.
great points made here. Men like these are the reason why I fear marriage.
May Allah grant us spouses that are understanding of what being human is, rather than serve their own agenda.
We need to study our deen. Too much ignorance happening in the name of Islam
If all Muslim follow what is Allah is saying in the Quran they will be better for themselves and the people around him/her.
Ameen. So true sis!
me, too :-(
Ameen..Sis..May Allah have a mercy on us.
+Sisi S I totally agree!!
My ex-husband was abusive in every way you can imagine. It started with him isolating me from my friends and family. That was just his way of setting the stage so that when things escalated to violence, I could not turn to the people who loved me the most, since I had "cut them off". This controlling behavior should not be taken lightly. Ladies please be careful of anyone who exhibits this kind of behavior.
Kirin Malik great comment! There are many red flags to look out for.
I cut off someone who felt rejected afterwards and has stalked me for 2 yrs. He poked his nose in my friends and told them not to meet me. He has hacked my phone.
He recently commented from a fake profile that he wanted to teach me a lesson. He's almost 30 and not established. He's a complete psycho!
I've prayed for a very long time for Allah to keep him away from me.
I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. It's important to recognise abusive behaviour for what it is!
😥😥😥
Merry me
@@Ashnesss Do you have heart?
@@Ashnesss All that you say I can tell you that he can be a better FBI agent and earn more than you could save him and just put your conditions. Gove another chance.
i will be a good example for a good marriage inshAllah :)
pray for me to do that
ameen
+Dawah Team jazakum Allah khairan
Ameen,Can you check out my channel?
Brother, one advice I will give you is that it's not about how you will treat your wife. It's about how your family will treat her and your ability to balance between your mother and your wife. It will be a great fitnah. Make sure you're always respectful to your mother and give your wife all of her rights as a husband. Do not please your wife at the expense of displeasing your parents, or vice versa. I made the mistake of pleasing my wife but then being extremely rude to my parents because of their mistreatment of my wife.
+asdf asdf The best thing is to not stay in the same house with ur parent once you get married.
Muslim or not, when a man forbids his wife from speaking with and seeing her family, this is classic abuse.
I understand your point but there can be a scenario where her family is abusive and toxic.
My dad this this to my mum and now my brothers wife is doing it to him which also affects my mum.
If he forbids his wife not see her family he should do the same and not see his family.... let's see how he takes it and how long it will last. It's a form of Oppression. Not letting your wife out without you tagging along will through her into depression. Might as well not be married.
Bolgavets I agree
@@Bolgavets Even so. It is no one's right to stop her. Toxic has nothing to do with the argument.
YA ALLAH (SWT) PLEASE ACCEPT MY SINCERE DUA THAT ALL MY MUSLIM (AND NON-MUSLIM) SISTERS ARE FREE FROM ALL THE UNSPEAKABLE AND UNIMAGINABLE OPPRESSIVE ATROCITIES FROM THEIR HUSBANDS FOREVER AMEEN!!! MY HEART IS BLEEDING SADNESS FROM ALL THIS, MAY ALLAH (SWT) HEAL ALL THE SISTERS HEARTS FOREVER!!!
+Suveera Amin Ameen.
+Bayyinah Institute JAZAK ALLAH KHAIR, I ALSO JUST CAME ACROSS THIS ARTICLE "LIVING WITH MOTHER-IN-LAW DAMAGES WOMEN'S HEALTH" www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1093724/How-living-mother-law-damage-womans-health.html
+Suveera Amin when husband agrees to leave alone his mother, but when your children agrees with his wife to leave you alone, what do you think of this?
***** JAZAK ALLAH KHAIR
Suveera Amin ilahije kraj metara stoji majka
love the camera angle and the cinematography on this video, looks like a tv series show
"When you have to blackmail someone to do something using the religion, that's ultimate evil."
YAAAAAAAASSS. You can have a guy who prays 5x's a day in the masjid & reads Quran & is even a hafiz who will do something like this, using religion as a crutch to justify his oppression towards his wife or others.
Characteristics like these are not only hypocritical, but drive people AWAY from the Deen, or can make someone not want to marry someone "religious" out of fear.
Islam grants tranquility in life & gives us a solution to all our problems. It's us who mess things up & constantly tarnish it's good name with our un-Islamic behavior.
Jazakallahu Khayran for this much needed reminder. May Allah ﷻ grant you Jannah for all your efforts.
This case has many red flags typical of abuse. Nothing to do with religion. Also domestic abuse be it emotional or physical tends to run in families since men may repeat their childhood abuse they witness in their parents'marriage. Nothing to do with Islam. But due to culture and/or upbringing.
shakhir r
Yes ..my ex. Used religion to control me and make me obey and submit to him .l was his sex slave .thats how it felt .
shakhir r
Im laughing now ..but l wasnt then .Everyday he used me ..I had to pleasure him with my mouth too ..he would make me oneel while he sat watching tv .and use my mouth for his pleasure ..then after ages he would force me to swallow ..He would make me go naked around the house too somedays ..just so he could take pleasure from looking at my body .And he could feel me ..and use me whenever he felt like it .
He forced me to bend over too ..and take him in my rear regularly .
shakhir r
No ..hes not ....but lm free of him .
shakhir r
No ..l didnt ..
i think its important to distinguish between cultural norms/practices and the religion, sounds like a desi muslim wife who is trapped in her house. may Allah help ease her oppression .
Aameen
+thebachu786 salam alaykom, I record videos everyday about the prophet Muhammad PBUH and a new Hadith everyday, check them out and if you like them please subscribe. thank you
+thebachu786 more like a socio-economic issue
ASC AKHI. WHAT DO YOU MEAN DESI?
+Afalaa the indian subcontinent, I assume...very patriarchal societies
This is absolutely something our society needs cuz we are really Messed up within our own understandings of seen....
Very good speech. Some men forget we woman were made equally of men, not to be stepped on. I pray to Allah Almighty that kind of men realize what they do and stop hurting women :(
Ugh I hate men like that, who want to "control" their wife.
Nazia F. Ali i disagree with both of you how Nouman explained it was that each team needs a captain and so the husband is the captain of the family and so he can tell the wife what to do . However this is to an extent if she feels she is in the right she can go to a qadhi to gain her rights .
Abdul Raffay not all women are spoilt brats they are humans and belong to Allah so treat them with a bit of respect yes the husband has obligations but he cannot force her to do something because it is her right to choose and Allah gave her that right who are you to take away that right Allahu a'lam
Excuse me? Why don't you go do more research and read more about Prophet Muhammad and how he treated his wives before you open your mouth homeboy. Seems like you lack some important knowledge on your deen. YES husbands have a right over their wives, but wives are equal to their husbands as well Allah says in the Quran: "And from him (Adam) He created his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship.)" And let me advise you bro, as Muslims we should be giving Da'wa, and show people the beauty of Islam not the opposite. Islam is such a beautiful religion, dont scare people by saying, "women are spoiled brats" and "you must obey". The concept of marriage is very deep in Islam, you must first understand that before preaching about it. Salaam.
yes but the obligation on women is to obey their husbands and so even if the husband is being unreasonable she she has to obey. In this video it explains that marriage is a partnership,compromise etc. Those describe a egalitarian marriage one which cant happen if Muslims state that the man is the leader because its a leadership and follower relationship.
You said; " but the obligation on women is to obey their husbands and so even if the husband is being unreasonable she she has to obey." That is not true. If he is being unreasonable, babe you need to stand up for yourself. He has the right to support you and take care of you, but you cant just let him be unreasonable and rude to you, because that can lead to more issues in a marriage. Both need to be reasonable. Please don't ever let anyone control you. In the end we all will be accountable for our OWN deeds not your husbands or children's. I am not saying dont respect your husband or listen to him, what I am saying is, nobody can control anyone. Only Allah is in control of you.
unfortunately this is predominantly found in south Asian men from Bangladeshi and Pakistani backgrounds. Men that do this are abusing their wives and Allah does not like injustice. if she has parents and family alive, he should not stop her from seeing them and if he does, may he fear Allah.
Scholars recommend that a husband must let his wife meet her parents at least "once a week".
Yes coz of Hindu culture
Not every Pakistani or Bengali men’s are not like that. But there are some and I believe it should change
Add Indian origin, most of husband and in laws are like that. And they don't even think it is wrong.
Bisma Ijaz where did u get this information. Where is your source that says that most men’s are like smh 🤦♂️?
May Allah grant us spouses that will help us fasten relationships.
+Fatou K. Ceesay To Get Amazing Stories and Reminders
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Ameen
Aameen
Ameen
+Fatou K. Ceesay Ameen
Masha Allah! Our community so need to hear this! Thank you very much!!!!!
My dad was like that with my mum. Violent as well. To the point he padlocked us inside the house when he went to mosque. It caused us so much pain as children that it has affected our entire lives. My mum has lost her physical and mental health and we cannot even function as normal. He never loved or cared for us, but he took our mothers care and love away from us aswell. And my dad was someone who never missed Salah in the mosque, read the Quran every single day, twice a day... I am waiting for the day of justice for the pain to go away.
thanks for including subtitles / closed captions. really appreciate it.
MASHAALLAH im not even married but this is so important cuz this kinda situation happens A LOT 😭😩👌🏼
Im not a Muslim but so impressed by Islam
I love this series so much.
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+mxshti salam alaykom, I record videos everyday about the prophet Muhammad PBUH and a new Hadith everyday, check them out and if you like them please subscribe. thank you
The concept is somehting fresh and i like it...keep up ..may allah (swt) bless all of you
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JZK so much for this, you've no idea, it clarified so many things for me!
JazakAllah alf khair my brother, may Allah shower you and your family with his blessing.
He is damn correct... Im not a muslim. As a human being..telling... what he told was all are magical truth...
He is a really smart and knowledgable person, it seriously only takes common sense to understand the points he make.
This helps a lot. Thank you for your hard work.
JazzakAllahu Khayr for the reminder!
I am loving this series. Bayyinah institute needs to do this series again.. please!! 💯❤️❤️❤️❤️
Mashallah , keep up the good work brother Nouman and team . May Allah protect all of us and grant us Jannah .
a beautiful reminder as always from brother nouman . May Allah swt enable us to become the best of husbands and wives, and uphold the rights and responsibilities that come with marriage and every relationship we have with others. Ameen.
Aameen
nadz k Ameen summa ameen. Beautiful du'aa.
Extremely well said.
Thank you for this video.
This topic is much needed! Beautiful explanation..
Much love and respect to Nouman Ali Khan and everyone who works with him. What I've noticed from many of his marriage videos is that the husbands mentioned, were never truly marriage material to begin with. They allow their insecurities and misogyny to cloud their judgement. Which, makes me wonder, why their proposal was accepted in the first place. We have many good brothers out there who don't receive a "yes" because they have the right career, but don't look like David Beckham or they have character, deen and attraction but don't have the right career. I think elders need to be more reasonable with their marriage criteria and the youth need to let go of superficial standards.
brilliantly packaged ! Jazakallah khair Ustadz Nouman
jazakAllah khair for saying those words. I have been trying to explain it to people I guess since my birth but you put it all together in a right manner, it's like having right words for what you feel. No doubt about it, we are salves to no one but Allah!
highly appreciated! :)
Thank you brother Nouman for this
I love this series. Jazakum Allah khair!
Please make more of this.... we need this series!Why did they stop making more of this?
This abuse through control in the name of Islam is way too common than you'd imagine. Greater tragedy is that our ulema, even female scholars do not address these issues openly and if a woman dare to go to a respected religious person for help, the only help she gets is an advice for not her husband but for herself to be "patient" and "obedient" to her husband because Islam is all about patience. Our ulema & religious leaders virtually never dare to touch the subject of prevailing mental torture in joint family systems. Ironically, joint family system is cherished & honored and considered as holy as part of Islam, so its a big taboo to speak against its evils.
Uzma Adnan that's in India and Pakistan. I think many scholars today speak of abuse!
@@sweetsongs2042 tf u mean? I m not muslim and me and my family is happy asf rn way better then woman being forced and beaten , abused by their husbands smh and all they do is choke it up to "Quran" Quran said it all so we did it smh Islam is more like a cult than a religion smh
@@CJ-bb3yv I didn't mean to offend you really. But, how can you sum up the whole Islam that challenges all the philosophies of the world just in a one statement? Without reading the Holy Quran critically and without any prejudice, how can you form an opinion about it?
Never mind me pls. If you have made your peace with God, that is enough! Remember, yours and my God is the Same. For me the One God, and for you whatever you Name Him - All Beautiful Names Belong to Him.
Being patient and trying to work things out is the first step. There's always the last resort after knowing you tried your best. Allah is most merciful.
It's because of pathetic Hindu culture which seeps in all Desi's be it Pakistani Indian or Bangladeshi they have this pathetic tradition of kanya daan and saaas ka suno joint family system which actually ruins everything.islam protects every bodies right so stop blaming islam.this behaviour has nothing to do with Islam.
But what about the relationship (level of care) with her in laws and how to deal with their excessive meddling? I really love this series but this video focused on the relationship between husband and wife rather than wife and in laws, as the title suggests. I would greatly appreciate it if you could expound on this issue since countless people are dealing with it. Jazakallah
Exactly all hindu culture ruined lives of many
Well he said that ( i owe certain things to my mom but that doesn't give her the right to do certain things to my wife) that means NO MEDDLING is allowed unless it's concerned with DIVORCE both families should make up or end the marriage with a good note. The husband and wife have the right and should solve their problems on their own.
I am a christian... But you have excellent vidieos .. Salam
I encourage you to please read the Quran once. Please May Allah help you ameen Salam!! :)
Allhumdulillah. Thank you for sharing, clarifying and publicising.
Salam Alaikum can you check out my channel for beneficial reminders
Amazing. Great video. JazakAllah Khair.
Thank you for telling the truth.
Alhamdulillah....so thankful that I come upon this....
Great concept of the video, it needs little improvements, like the other guy should say something too. I find your teachings very helpful,great work.
My husband is like this. I sent him this video and he said, "Don't send me something like this again. I know my rights." He didn't even bother to watch it. I told him I'm moving out. He says good. Don't tell me Allah will send me better. No more husbands for me. Never again.
Hey Ya girl i just hope everything will work out well for you. Stay strong🙂🙂
Wow what a piece of shit loser good u left his punk ass
I absolutely love this!!! mashaAllaaah genius, may Allaah grant you to contribute in more ways!
Mashallah ,Allah has blessed brother Norman with the ability to be coherent. However ,Sometimes simplicity is sufficient because you don’t loose that authenticity ,especially if their is substance in the message and no doubt there is in all brother Norman’s videos . I gravitate to brother Norman’s humbleness-what a beautiful trait to have, mashallah.
100% professionally worked out
JazakAllah. I have watched this video several times, and always thanked Allah for giving me an understanding partner in life. But today I find myself in the same situation as the woman in this video. I feel caged in more ways than one. may Allah grant me sabr to do what is needed. Aameen.
Sash Mufti
Regardless of religion there needs to be mutual respect and love for each other. My husband and I live by the rule: Do to others what you want others to do to you. And 17 years later we are still happily married and very much in love.
That husband sounds like a maniac. I hope he sees this, and I also hope he doesn't put two and two together and put a tighter leash on his poor wife. I feel so bad for her. May Allah give her the strength to stand up to him. Tears😢. This video made me appreciate my husband so much more, and I always thank him for being such a good example of what a beautiful Muslim husband should be. Alhumdulilah. May Allah bless br Nouman and everyone who's involved❤️
Thank you.
No one is a slave of anyone - this situation is abuse Muslim women should know human rights in a relationship - Shukran sheikh 🙏
Jazak'Allah Khair, you and those who uploaded the video and all Muslims, insha'Allah.
This needs to have a second part. What does Islam say about unjust treatment of a woman by her mother in law? That is a huge issue every where and I have never seen brother Nouman give a talk about that.
in this case you can say ok I dont want see her you havent sit with here or talk with her if your husband is not protect you against her then he not fullfill his duty because the protection is also against his family if they harm you
mashalah I really love this series and it's concept. I enjoy everything about it: the background, noise, the setting
May allah bless you all
Salam Alaikum can you check out my chanel?
Very good thing... Love this whole channel.. But I think there should have been an "INSHA ALLAH" at the end of the description
I wish there were more episodes of that's messed up 😭😭
I pray for her, to have strength !❤
Jazakallahu khairan katheeran!
Great explanation
Love the theme❤
Ma sha Allah ....best explainations
Great series
You and your wife should not stay in the same house with your parents!
y?
Lol
.
???
Very true
Wonderful content and I loved the atmosphere and manner the question was presented. Jazakallah Khair!
in my personal perspective, marriage is a scary thing. its a challenging work that requires patience and understanding. Many good points were explained and covered in this video. I think the thought of marriage is shaped by the relationship of one's parents too. may Allah swt grant us good spouses with loving hearts
Don't know how i missed this!..Am i that messed up? ha ha
But i love the way he puts across these crucial things, raw and casual, within the fold of islam but still you can balance life accordingly. Alhamdulillah.
This whole conversation sums up in just one line...give ur wife some space to be the way she wants to be....
Thts it
Appreciable :)
Baraka allah fik brother
Great series mA
Concise and effective as always mashaAllah.. but the music at the end has me questioning credibility a bit.. is it not unanimously agreed on that music leads to hypocrisy? Whats the explanation on it being allowed in this video? Has NAK approved?
Majority of husbands are insecure and psychopaths to some extent. Smart men treat their wives smartly.
let's not start about the woman 😂
I don't believe that to be true. If it is true, it would be to a small extent of insecurity / psychopathic behavior within the majority because I have not seen any noticeable signs. Could just all be in your head and you have a biased view against Men.
You don't mention anything about women being insecure or psychopaths.
The issue can be from both sides,
Sometimes, the girl loved a guy, and married to another guy, but keep meeting the first guy, then when her husband felt insecure, the society made him evil. 🤦🏻♂️
Both can went to extreme, it’s not something you can generalize...
@@w3debuggerThat is something in which clearly it shows the woman is at fault.. She can't have extra marital affair that is absolutely haram and a major sin..
However, in this story it is the man who is being unjust and a tyrant.. its true that many men have taken the meaning of "qawwam" in a wrong way
@@waytoguidance
Unfairly accusing someone of wrongdoing without comprehending the reasons behind their actions is unjust.
For instance, a friend of mine is encouraging (not coercing) their family to avoid socializing with certain families due to persistent gossip about other relatives. If his wife consistently disregards his warnings and engages in backbiting at home, and my friend insists on enforcing the prohibition, I wouldn't label my friend as the wrongdoer but rather his wife.
While some husbands may indeed be at fault, it's crucial not to generalize Sharia based on isolated incidents. When addressing issues related to blameworthy husbands, it is equally essential to address exceptional cases involving blameworthy wives.
good job bro. Try to make it more clear in details. May Allah make you happy and your family.
Jzk for this, is there any way the background noise can be eliminated? It's a little distracting.
Please educate on how a mothers statement can mess up his sons mind and create a fight between a husband n wife . And educate what is any person who plants this seed called and what will his/her position according to Islam .
Well yes, the mother is to blame but the husband is more to blame for letting his relationships with his mother interfere with his relationship with his wife and for being a mummy's boy and so immature that he is so easily influenced by his mother. He should tell his mother to not talk of his wife and ignore what she says. Such a guy can never be a good Muslim man or a Muslim husband.
very nice video....Two Thumbs Up.
Informative
Mash Allah !! keep going on !!
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You only have to obey what's "halal".it's HARAM to cut family Ties. 😑
@@kanizfatima1377 I know, right? Actually, I had a problem with this, and did research on it- and people are misusing so many parts of the religion, for things that are so obviously prohibited! For example, alongside many things, the husband (or anyone else for that matter) can't force the wife to use her money (money she's earned, or the mahr) yet the husband in an abusive marriage does it anyway, in the name of 'Islam' and guess what? The wife lets him! She thinks that's okay! To be honest though, I can't blame her, if no one thought to educate her about it- I mean, as long as she fulfilled her duty as a Muslim to question and learn, but she didn't have the means to do so, because of such things as poverty.
Even then, are such men not fearful of that which they invent?
It's pretty messed up, to be honest.
halal and within your rights for example she isnt to obey you if you say with my inlaws its halal but she can deny
very nice speech
MASHA ALLAH MAY ALLAH REWARD YOU BROTHER MAY HE MAKE YOU BETTER THAN WHAT I MAY THINK YOU ARE, FORGIVE ME AND YOU FOR WHAT I DO NOT KNOW OF YOU. BUT SUBHANA ALLAH MORE MEN REALLY NEED TO LEARN THIS AND MANY OTHER THINGS ABOUT ISLAM ESPECIALLY A TOPIC LIKE THIS ONE . I REVERTED TO ISLAM AND TO BE HONEST IF I DIDNT BELIEVE IN WHAT I BELIEVE IN OR MY IMAN WAS NOT THE WAY IT IS I WOULD HAVE WALKED AWAY A LONG TIME AGO BECAUSE OF ISSUES LIKE THIS. NOT ONLY WITH ME BUT SO MANY OTHER SISTERS THAT CONVERTED AND HOW THEY HAVE MADE IT SO HARD FOR THEM IN SO MANY LEVELS. BUT THANK YOU AGAIN BARAKA ALLAHU FEEKUM BROTHER AMEEN JAZAKUM ALLAHU KHAIRAN.
Jzk NAK and team bayyinah. May Allah grant you guys goodness in this world and the hereafter, and he swt protect you and spare you all from the hellfire. Allahumma Amin 😊😊
Nice!
well done
I am in an emotional abusive marriage. I am really confused whether to keep trying to make it alright or just leave this one. I am afraid of leaving the relationship as i have 2 kids and really don’t know how to convince people what i am going through
Salam!
you need to involve third party in like your family or someone you can trust or maybe involve in Islamic scholar and seek his advice because this issue might get bigger and bigger as it is already so you really need to involve someone.
May Allah not make things difficult for you InshaAllah may you and your children find ease and may your husband be guided to the straight path by the will of Allah
please do a video on how we can deal with such issues..and by what means can we make our spouse understand.. jazakAllah khair
God help us all!!!!
Assalam mu alaikum. good video but y in the world is there music at the end.I dont get it
subhan allah very nice talk
wish I would've known you were in Houston....I would've loved to attend
The scenario he quoted about the lady sounds liķe an abusive relationship. Many red flags. Hope that lady is ok now...coz it may get worse for her if she doesnt get help.
thank you for clearing up the fact that the husbands are not supposed to be obeyed and are nit in charge of their wives how come no one ever says that of the scholars it’s so normalised to say things like “oh yeah wives have to obey their husbands or else you’re sinning” pretty sure there’s even a school in indonesia teaching women how to obey their husbands it’s so normalised when like you said it’s the opposite men and women are partners and are supposed to work as a team not be a dictatorship the wife isn’t supposed to command her husband nor is the husband supposed to command his wife YOU HAVE TO HELP EACH OTHER ADVISE EACH OTHER BETTER EACH OTHER like it’s so simple yet people make it such a big deal
I love this series and almost all their videos on bayyinah channel.
I'm very confused however on one issue. I see noumans video on dangers of music etc and other sheikhs forbidding music etc.
then I see shabir ally posting a video on music and how there's nothing mentioned clearly that says it's haram.
on top of that this video ends up with piano music in the background! !!!.
so are we suddenly allowed music now??
مشاالله بارك الله فيك يا اخي
can i add subtitles to this video?
English subtitle should be added.. as english is not my mother tongue, i can't catch all the words by hearing. so please try to add english subtitle also,so that we can catch the missing words.
Assalamualaikum. I went through this personally myself. Alhamdulillah I managed to get a divorced 12yrs ago. He not only manipulated me in ways I can’t imagine he would, he disgrace me in public, he said I am unfit mother and a horrible wife. I had to work. He was unemployed on and off. Adding on his mother told my mother I need to get another job cause I’m neglecting my responsibilities. He instilled that in my head until today. Told my kids that I am breaking the kids silaturrahim with their father and a lot more.
Psychologically I am affected by it, emotionally and mentally until today. I’m afraid to have a partner in my life and what’s ringing in my head is him saying that all men just wanted to get under my skirt. Not enough with that he and his mum, probably out of spite I think for many years even before marriage I was told have been playing black magic on me. I’m never healthy and in fear all the time for no reason sometimes. I see things and many more.
My curiosity wonders, he is living a happy life while I’m in not so good condition. He never paid my alimony nor the kids expenses during marriage and even till today. I bear them all myself. I Thank Allah for giving me the strength. But now I’m unemployed and i hear again in my head the words he used to utter. Brings me down so badly. Nevertheless, I pick myself up everyday and Hope history does not repeat itself to my only daughter I have and my 2 boys for his messed up guidance. He taught me all the wrong things in islam and he only picked up those from the Quran what benefited him as a man.
Don’t bother hiring lawyers, I have lost a lot of money paying lawyers for defending myself and kids. Shariah is not on my side fr day 1. My prayers is for Allah to punish those who has hurt me and my kids. As for me , to give me back my strength to live again and not being marked by the society for things that was not my fault to begin with.
Till today he still haunts me. He told the kids that he knows my every move etc. I wish he just focus on providing the kids as it is his obligation and stop brainwashing the kids minds about reconciling which I know was just part of his manipulation to the kids. After 12yrs the stigma and the horror episode that I went through flash-backed like it happened just yesterday. Scars remains. I have not forgiven him. I don’t know whether I could. Another question will be, will I be punished in the hereafter for not forgiving this man who has ill treated me so badly. What made it more sad , he was my choice when my parents said NO. 😔
J J please take good care of yourself my dear. As much as you can show your gratitude towards Allah because you are now safe. The past hurts, yes but don't consider it a mistake, but a lesson. Stay strong beautiful lady. You have been given a second chance to reinvent your life and your kids life. Focus on what you can do today and if possible Forgive. Forgive yourself first, then forgive him. Remember forgiveness is never for the other person but for yourself. So that you can live peaceful, with a clean heart and a clear mind.
This shall pass too
Much love
@@nawee6801 Appreciate the kind words. TQ
if i want to ask him a question then how should i contact him ? is there some email for the contact ? please let me know