18:52 I was thinking that to emphasize this point, Seahawk's ship could have two flags on a single mast: his personal pirate flag and a Hoard flag. During the battle his pirate flag could get damaged leaving only the Hoard flag intact, which he would look upon before deciding to kamikaze his ship.
Yeah it was weird for me that it's was "easy" for her to live her life in the hord and her "best friend" Catra, like when Bow and Glimer took her to that village the never once said "omg, Catra would love to see this🤩" or something similar to that. I don't like the "good characters" at all, the villans have better development than them
Yea, that’s what I liked about the original because in that version to me she seemed more convincing and imo all the other kids seem like they’re way too nice to be a horde soilder( like the kid who talked to Bow in prison)
Nah. We need more scenes of Adora being a dork and failing to salute to the queen, even though as a child soldier she should have been trained to salute for her entire life.
What's with western entertainment and their hatred for gingers. Every time there's a remake of something they are always removing them. I want my ginger representation gosh dang it.
As someone who has a thing for red head guys in fiction (look up Axel from Kingdom Hearts, that guy is awesome) i agree The more red head guys the better
@@lucym7294 I love redheads too, though I'm more into girls. If they ever adapt The Stormlight Archive to the screen, they better not change Shallan's hair
Interesting rewrite. I like how you gave Seahawk actual depth and made him setting his ship on fire actually cool instead of just a lame joke. I also liked how you tied this all in with Adora actually inspiring people and showing, rather than telling, how the characters are all stronger together rather than apart. All in all, your rewrite reminded me of the Batman animated series in tackling these complex themes, like hope amid a war torn world, while still keeping things in this fun, safe little adventure story. Plus you have Seahawk going all Captain Harlock on the Horde. Heh. Well now I don't feel so bad it took until my second video to figure out you were actually two people. XD Through honestly I didn't think the cat symbol was bad or anything. Maybe, like others suggested, make it half black and half white?
Yes! Your version sounds much better than what we got. Actually I was thinking it could have also been explained why Netossa and Spinnerella didn't go with them to recruit Mermista. In my head I imagine that they had to go help in another area to either fight or clean up the after math of a big battle. Because as a large army the horde doesn't just attack one place at a a time, at least they shouldn't. That people know these characters actually do something. Also I don't like the idea of it being called Princess Alliance, I feel the show should have called it the Etherian Alliance. Yes a majority of the members are princesses but name "Princess Alliance" screams self importance and narcissism. By naming the alliance after their world the audience would understand that the characters are fighting for more than just themselves. They fight for their family, their friends, their people, their homes, and their freedom.
Instead of calling it the 2nd Princess alliance, it should have been the Etherian alliance and the first was called the Princess alliance and fell apart because Hordak was smart enough to split their attention and all the Princesses went to protect their own Queendoms and let a lot of smaller lands fall while they all became isolationist and went their separate ways.
This is a great rewrite for this episode. The changes you made to the character Scorpia reminded me of a character named Darcy from a webcomic called Wilde Life. Darcy is a paranormal enthusiast who is the girlfriend of a witch named Eliza and becomes friends with two other characters, one of them being a werewolf named Cliff. Darcy constantly coos over Cliff but since Cliff is a teenage boy he doesn't really like that kind of attention from her. Darcy respects his boundaries and doesn't intrude on his personal space, and her reactions to Cliff transforming into a werewolf show her as an endearing character. I feel like if Scorpia reacted to Catra the same way, her character would be a lot less creepy. Like if Catra did a cat thing, Scorpia could make a cute face, and she imagines herself cuddling with a bunch of cute cats before Catra yells at her to pay attention or something. Scropia struggling to remain professional in the presence of Catra while also trying to impress her could even be a bit of a running gag.
Wow, i have watched the new she-ra but not the old one. I'm not a fan of the new she-ra show but when you two made a rewrite, I really loved it then the show. That's when you know that the people behind the show aren't really trying their best and putting more effort to the story when two random youtubers fixed their story in just one video. I am literally in the age group that they are aiming for and even I & my younger brothers find this stupid.
Spinnerella and Nettossa are there as the token lesbian couple, nothing more, nothing less! BTW, your rewrite sounds extremely interesting, I would have preferred it to this SOS! Also, you do both actually sound different to me!
@@Saltedroastedcaramel Zenthron literally said "Spinnerella and Nettossa are there as the token lesbian couple, nothing more, nothing less!" Also, you argued against "NOt like having boyfriends would have given them more screentime" with "[t]hey need to have screentime, not living props." Seriously, what the hell?
@@Bezaliel13 They are the token lesbian couple because they are just there in the show doing nothing until the finale. Even Bo doesn't know what they do. That's why the op said that. They're literally there for diversity points. Either way, not only is it bad writing to have these two characters on the show do nothing for every time they appear, but it does give bad implications since Spinnerella is more heftier than glimmer, which was already a fucking dumb idea to her redesign as it is, Nettossa is darker than Bo and Mermista, and they are both the loser princesses that no one hangs around or cares.
Your version is so much better, treating character with care and respect. Showing real tension and stakes is something this show lacks, also battle with armies.
Having 2 cat drawings could help newcomers realize easier that theres 2 people talking in the video, like you have in the home page of your UA-cam channel.
if they were visually different maybe least for me just mirroring the image would not communicate that well since they sound so similar but thats just me
Oh my stars, this episode write is amazing! I like it way more, it shows true struggles for the characters, more tension and drama, without removing the little jokes out there as you make all the characters competent! Seahawk was a sad joke, I like at times his character, but also, I can not take him seriously.
I love this idea because I'm planning to do a rewrite for She-Ra as well on AO3. The new She-Ra was fun to me but there were a lot of faults. Thanks for these discussions of the episodes on the show and this special is great for newer members like me to see even more of your talents. Great work!
If I was working on a She-Ra reboot (which I might make a fan series since I want to) I'd keep Catra's transformation ability so that there can be a legitimate battle between her and She-Ra. If you noticed, in this show they never have a satisfying battle because either Catra taunts She-Ra from a safe distance, or She-Ra makes quick work of Catra. I guess there was sorta a fight between Adora and Catra that was really satisfying, as Adora finally seems to let go of Catra (only for everything to immediately go back to normal between them) but they had to keep her Adora to make it a fair fight.
Hey, I’m a fan of the show and I reeaaalllyyyy love your commentary!! The criticism is really insightful, and I love hearing what you think of certain characters and arcs! Thanks for the awesome rewrite
The Netflix writers would probably get jealous of the compelling character stories, spot on continuity, in-depth plot and deep-seated lore that would eclipse their own.
I personally like your cat symbol, although at first I didn’t know there were two of you. Maybe you could split the face into a black and white pattern or something similar, I’m pretty sure you already thought of that though. Keep it up 👍🏽
Even working within the confines of the show you both made it 100% better. There was so much character development and set ups for future episodes that I want to here more from these characters (your interpretation that is) Gratz on 1k
Well, you do sound alike, almost identical. But there are small differences that pop up occasionally, it just takes time to the ear to adjust properly. I have twin friends and at first it was very confusing, but in time i got to know their habits, traits and quirks and i can tell them apart fairly easily now. That said, maybe you can give us a hand, as learning how to distinguish you just by voice may take too long. Many use avatars that move or shake when they are speaking, like ClownfishTV, maybe that could be done here. Loved the rewriting, makes much more sense now. Keep up the good stuff, girls, and congratulations.
I like this rewrite a lot, and it really shows that you know and respect the original. I also agree with the analysis that they should have made their own show instead of just skinning this as She-Ra and this episode was one of the key examples of why that was for me. I appreciate all the thought and would like to hear more examples of how you'd redo some of the other eps while holding to the limits and intent of the new.
I feel like even mildly mentioning her brother wouldnt be that hard idk why they didnt. She could bring him up in conversations now and then, send him a letter and simply refer to him as "my brother" so they dont have any copyright issues. They want a coming of age story and completely missed part of growing up, family.
Adora, in the horde, writing letters to her brother because she vaguely remembers him while they were babies, but never sending them would be such a good subtle nod
This reboot is kinda weird, they toned down The character traits I liked about Hordak( obviously I know why cuz he was a super cheesy villain but his relationship with skeleton was interesting), and Hordak completely overlooked Adria’s betrayal which is weird cuz most villains would hire someone(or go themselves) and elimanate anyone who would hold sensitive info about their organization, and it really kinda skates the line of the Safe for kids, light tone and pouring serious down-to-earth character moments which has been worked in the past for other animated series it’s just for me Shera would be better if they just dive deeper into the lore over the course of the season( while also keeping the Catradora stuff) ,with the comedy, and give us a enough time to spend with the princesses( I feel like what happened to entrants would have been more emotional if I had more time with her)
Damn! Your version is MUCH better than the shit we actually got! This show feels so empty and shitty which is a shame, because a modern She-ha has a lot of potential.
Very much enjoyed this rewrite. Episode Five was the one that almost made me quit the show because of how bad it was. I felt that the show picks up a bit around Episode Six and had moments that were fairly good, but the show never rose above mediocrity for me in the end.
Your rework of this episode reminds me of the reboot I was writing for a fanvid in that it focused on having everything make sense. When I came to the project, however, people there were okay with the barely-altered script as if they had no sense of critical thinking. Likewise, there was barely any commentary regarding my extensive changes. It was only when I criticized the art club's popular kid that I got backlash. I wonder if the same cliquish dynamic applies to the writers of this show.
Sounds like the people at my highschool’s Anime Club. They were obsessed with CLAMP. All we watch was CLAMP Anime. I don’t hate CLAMP, I need variety in my Anime. One day, I brought one of my uncut Dragonball Z DVDs. They shot me down and said “that’s for kids”. It was an Uncut version!
This was good Thou he could have faked his death cause the Captain always goes down with his ship and with being not hunted by anyone he can help in secret the rebellion and Mermista
OK... YOU NEED TO STOP THIS. When the fanfics are better than the source there is a serious problem. Your version could be a killer 2 part story. You did a great job on this.
Hello, this is Joel. I have seen your videos and I’m glad that you have made these reviews. And I do have a couple of suggestions. 1. A list on the shows that you plan to review. And 2. Any ideas for possible rewrites.
*HellRay* Fake-Ra is a parody of She-Ra already. It should've been its own show; let it stand on its own two feet instead of riding on She-Ra's coat tails.
King mica a beloved king? Thats a great idea, except the writers of the show really hate males. Why theres only 3 in the show. The closet gay man(bo), the idiot(sea hawk) and hordak. Your story is way better.
IRENE GUISADO Hey, it’s cool. Her design was pretty neat. The design actually coincides with stuff that I’ve been reading on the pseudo-science of mermaids, where they ought to be darker because of the way light bounces around in water, and sturdier because of the pressure of being deep underwater.
@randomusernameCallin Clownfish TV tend to get a lot more emotional and openly biased. They're not nearly as calm and level headed as mjtanner, but thats just my opinion.
I like how you rewrote one episode and fleshed out the characters more than the entire show had in all 5 seasons. I used to be a huge fan of this show (mostly cause I was young and gay) but even then I knew the writing of the show was lacking and the characters all felt like stereotypes/caricatures instead of actual people. I love what you did with seahawk and mermista, and the horde seeming like a proper threat. You guys’ rewrite really highlights what the show was lacking.
16:25 Oh my God ...the artwork is so horrible on this show... Bow's hand and arm are cringe worthy... And Lonnie looks copy/pasted onto Kyle.... it's just not believable...
If you want to make it clear who is talking at any given time, you could have a separate icon for each of you (like a black cat and white cat) that shows on screen when its respective individual is speaking. You could also have a main icon that is you current icon except with the color split down the center of the face with white on one side and black on the other. Something like this: snag.gy/M51sdv.jpg Just a suggestion though.
😊👍 I am wrighting HE-MAN and SHE-RA-stories too. I did some little movies with action-figures. Its so much fun to tell my own stories with these characters.
I want to attempt rewriting DreamWorks Dragons Race to The Edge so it's actually good. May I? (Doing it anyway just because and I know I can do better.) Starting off this show is not going to be a Y7 pretending to be a show for Young Adults this is going to a be a harsh PG rating like the Watership Down Mini-series only with more color. How to Train Your Dragon to me should be a show that's blurring the line between children's and adult entertainment, much like the novels it's so-called based on. It's going harsh, violent, and intriguing for the adult viewers, but be fun, energized, and colorful for the young viewers. We begin in the prison with Daggur but it's taking itself marginally more serious this time along showcasing the dank unpleasant nature of an dungeon(Showing stuff like skittering rats, empty shackles, and human bones) We see Savage.Mildew and few other the Outcasts checking up on Daggur taunting him at his current pahetic state stuff like 'Oh' how the mighty deranged Berserk chief has fallen' but little do they know the Mad Daggur has concocted a plan to break himself free. He breaks out of his shackels having slowly loosened them over the years and an Berserk rage he smashes Mildrew skull into the floor thus killing the frail old dragon prejudice instantly, establsihing that the in-show characters can die! In shock of this development Savage calls for reinforcements getting the currently reformed Alvin to join the fray. Laughing manically and making quippy one-liners Daggur is demolishing the Outcast forces that are attempting to apprehend him, but the crazed lunatic of an ex chief just won't be stopped. Alvin and Savage enter to find Daggur's prison room to be littered with both dead and wounded body's, with a mad glint Daggur grins at Alivn saying. "Hey' LOOK! Alvin the Poor but Honest Outcast has come to fight little ol' ME!" "I'll so you POOR and HONEST!" Alvin Growls as he pulls out his battle ax. Daggur replies by pulling a sword from a limp body and two enter a superbly crafted duel. Alvin swings his axe despetly trying to get the upper hand over Daggur but the Young Chief is just too nimble and quick witted to be trounced by Alvin. With one wicked swing Daggur cleaves Alvins right hand off (Off-screen so it stays PG) "I gotta HAND it to you Alvin! You looked pretty GOOD till you were DISARMED! Guess out with the OLD in with the NEW is accurate, huh?" He points at Mildews body. Howling with rage Alvin try's punching Daggur but he's hit hard in the gut by Daggur's fist causing him to collapse. Savage pulls Alvin over his back. "DO YOU THINK THIS IS OVER?!? WE'LL GET YOU BACK IN HERE! JUST YOU WAIT!" He yells. Daggur glares back at him. "You'll get me back? HA HA HA! Sure old timer sure! You should you leave VILLIANLY to the Real BASTARDS!" (Getting a small bit of edgy swearing in) Daggur walks out of the Prison in truimph gazing over the vast archipelago seas in lunatic glee, as he howls. "I'M COMING FOR YOU BROTHER HICCUP!! YOUR'RE DAYS ARE NUMBERED YOU DRAGON HUGGING BABY!!" He bursts in hysteric Joker style laughter. We cut away back to Berk were we play a similar scene of Hiccup and Gang lounging at Berk, questioning whether or not if there's a world outside they're little Archipelago and if there's new dragon species out there. Hiccup still goes on his little outing on Toothless, to come across the ship with imprisoned dragon remains(It's not exactly a viking ship this time though.) and he still finds the Dragon Eye leaving right after. After this we make a cut back to Alvin who now bearing his signature hook from the novels, and he's standing right beside Trader Yohan. "You drived a hard bargain for that hook, I hope it's all worth it in the end sir." Alvin is rubbing his hook menacingly. "Oh, believe me trader, it's going to be plenty worth when I use to SLIT the throat of that mad GOAT escapee!" Yohan takes a big gulp. "Well....at least you have your priorities straight Alvin....the not so treacherous?" "MAKE THAT ALVIN THE VENGEFUL!" "Don't you have better things to do sweetie?" A ghostly cackley voice is heard. "I DO VERY MUCH MOTHER!" The camera turns away from Alvin showcases a frightening skeletal old woman with sharp nails and seemingly empty eye sockets. "What did I raise you for boy? FORGET THAT DAGGUR BOY, AND THINK MORE ABOUT CONQUERING BERK! Ending the dragons would be nice too." (This is the mother of Alvin from the novels.'The Wicked Which Excellinor' She's going to serve as the replacement for Mildew.) "I'VE BEEN TRYING THAT MOTHER! The Berkian punks just get KICKING my ASS out every time I tried to INVADE them. So now I'm playing the role of FRIEND." "FRIEND?!?" Excellinor gasped "You're A TREACHEROUS not an AGREEABLE! What happened to your scheme of backstabbing your QUOTE on QUOTE best Buddy STOICK crowing yourself a GREAT and BLOODY chief, making yourself the leader on the DRAGON EXTERMINATION FRONT! YOU'RE GETTING SOFT CHILD!" Alvin grabbed her in a choke hold. "You're the one who's gotten soft mother! Tell me how long has been since you last killed a dragon?" Excellinor gasped. "Decades....but you....I haven't seen a dragon die here in forever." Alvin released her. "Who needs to kill them when we can use them instead?" Savage pulls out a Monsterous NightMare. It has an chained muzzle. "Savage let it loose!" It's snout is unhinged. It howls letting loose an array of dragon saliva. Alvin lets out a might Viking of a ROAR sending the beast whimpering. "Hiccups method. Is overrated." He muttered as he inched towards the creature. "YELLING is all that's REALLY Needed!" Yohan is stammering aghast in the corner. He looks scared but you can tell he's hiding something. "WHAT ABOUT STOICK SON? Are you really going let him stay in power when it's YOUR BIRTHRIGHT?" Alvin mounts himself on the beast. "That'll come soon enough. Maybe it's almost time a cause another accident!" He chuckels evily to himself proving he's still the Treacherous you know and hate. He flys off and we cut back to Berk. Hiccup is showing the discovery he found to his friends brings up his concern about the strage un-viking like ship he found with the heaps of dragon remains. (The ship will be later revealed to be a Roman Vessel the faction that my version of Rickor and Vigo are now a part of.) However before he could figure out how to work the dragon eye he's interrupted by an unpleasantly familiar presence. "Well,well,well! It's little Hiccup and his gang of damnable idiots!" Hiccup and friends turn in surprise and shock to see Daggur the Deraged smiling manically with an small army of Berserkers behind him. This is when the episode ends. Let me know if you want to here more of my ideas.
Going back to the original, how old is Seahawk and how old is Mermista? I ask because if all the princesses are in their teens, is Seahawk REALLY hitting on a KID? For a fucking joke? Is he a teen? Again, thanks to the shitty designs of everyone here, I can't tell. If they wanted Sea Hawk to be flirty, wouldn't it have been better that he tried to hit on the QUEEN, who IS an adult? I mean, okay. Having him flirt with someone would have been a nice little humor bit but after that? Seahawk was just ANNOYING and there was no reason for it. It just keeps going into the spirals of 'Any character who is not Adora and her Princess Posse are stupid' which is not how you write a character driven show. And you know the drill with these people; body diversity is only a thing if it's WOMEN. If it's men, they still have to be thin, hot, and muscular. And for fucks sake. They can put SHADING on places where they're shitting and standing but they can't put them on their bodies. Someone inform me, do shadows cost extra in animation today or are people really that lazy when it comes to applying them? It's not that hard and if you're that lazy, simple grey tone, multiple the layer so it's transparent to the lines and colors below it. Boom, lazy ass shadows but there are shadows. Congrats though! I've enjoyed listening to your break downs of these shows and I'm going to keep coming back! Here's to more growth on your channel!
Maybe the reason they try to subvert expectations so much is because they don’t want kids to grow up to be shallow, they may think that tropes like the damsel and distress and good vs evil might mess up their heads and make them think in black and white, so they make stories like this where the bad guys are “redeemed and relatable”, even though the bad guys don’t really earn it.
We do. We used to talk at the same time too but people made fun of us for it so we actively tried to stop doing it. Never got over finishing each other's sentences though.
@@Match25 exactly, remember those two princesses who always show up to those meetings? No?, well you know why? Because there only relevant because there lesbian. There is nothing wrong with being lesbian but really?!, there only there for diversity points!
I thought Netflix had the rights to he-man (maybe they share it with sony?) and the reason they're holding back on the he-man side of things is because of the upcoming movie next year or so (which been in development hell for decades)
Owen Wildish Netflix has the rights to play original He-Man & She-Ra. DreamWorks has the TV rights for making New She-Ra Netflix merely streams it. Only Mattel still has the TV rights to make new He-Man.
Also I do like the reboot, it wasn’t the best first season but The Best Friends Squad are really cool to me, and Catra is a really great character and her animation is nice, I also like the new designs( they could look a little less ambiguous) cuz in the Plumera ep there were times Adora looked like she had a masculine physique and face and was really weird. This is NOT the worst reboot ever imo and I’m excited to see the show get better👌
The fact that you didn't make Sea Hawk a complete joke already makes this episode better than what we got.
Sea Hawk isn't just a joke. That's just what everyone thinks of him. That's how he and Glimmer bonded, everyone saw them as a joke.
@justyourlocalfandomtrash6755 Expect the writers treat him like a joke
18:52 I was thinking that to emphasize this point, Seahawk's ship could have two flags on a single mast: his personal pirate flag and a Hoard flag. During the battle his pirate flag could get damaged leaving only the Hoard flag intact, which he would look upon before deciding to kamikaze his ship.
Ooo yeah. That's symbolic
I love this so much, makes an emotional scene too.
I wish they would have showed Adora having problems adapting to normal relationships considering she was raised as an evil soldier
Most definitely this.
Yeah it was weird for me that it's was "easy" for her to live her life in the hord and her "best friend" Catra, like when Bow and Glimer took her to that village the never once said "omg, Catra would love to see this🤩" or something similar to that.
I don't like the "good characters" at all, the villans have better development than them
Yea, that’s what I liked about the original because in that version to me she seemed more convincing and imo all the other kids seem like they’re way too nice to be a horde soilder( like the kid who talked to Bow in prison)
Thank you. More of this
Nah. We need more scenes of Adora being a dork and failing to salute to the queen, even though as a child soldier she should have been trained to salute for her entire life.
What's with western entertainment and their hatred for gingers. Every time there's a remake of something they are always removing them. I want my ginger representation gosh dang it.
"GINGERS HAVE NO SOUL."
Is It cause theyre white!?
@@rhysjonsmusic Ever watch South Park?
As someone who has a thing for red head guys in fiction (look up Axel from Kingdom Hearts, that guy is awesome) i agree
The more red head guys the better
@@lucym7294 I love redheads too, though I'm more into girls. If they ever adapt The Stormlight Archive to the screen, they better not change Shallan's hair
Interesting rewrite. I like how you gave Seahawk actual depth and made him setting his ship on fire actually cool instead of just a lame joke. I also liked how you tied this all in with Adora actually inspiring people and showing, rather than telling, how the characters are all stronger together rather than apart. All in all, your rewrite reminded me of the Batman animated series in tackling these complex themes, like hope amid a war torn world, while still keeping things in this fun, safe little adventure story. Plus you have Seahawk going all Captain Harlock on the Horde.
Heh. Well now I don't feel so bad it took until my second video to figure out you were actually two people. XD
Through honestly I didn't think the cat symbol was bad or anything. Maybe, like others suggested, make it half black and half white?
Yes! Your version sounds much better than what we got. Actually I was thinking it could have also been explained why Netossa and Spinnerella didn't go with them to recruit Mermista. In my head I imagine that they had to go help in another area to either fight or clean up the after math of a big battle. Because as a large army the horde doesn't just attack one place at a a time, at least they shouldn't. That people know these characters actually do something.
Also I don't like the idea of it being called Princess Alliance, I feel the show should have called it the Etherian Alliance. Yes a majority of the members are princesses but name "Princess Alliance" screams self importance and narcissism. By naming the alliance after their world the audience would understand that the characters are fighting for more than just themselves. They fight for their family, their friends, their people, their homes, and their freedom.
Nice! I like that small detail.
Instead of calling it the 2nd Princess alliance, it should have been the Etherian alliance and the first was called the Princess alliance and fell apart because Hordak was smart enough to split their attention and all the Princesses went to protect their own Queendoms and let a lot of smaller lands fall while they all became isolationist and went their separate ways.
This is a great rewrite for this episode. The changes you made to the character Scorpia reminded me of a character named Darcy from a webcomic called Wilde Life. Darcy is a paranormal enthusiast who is the girlfriend of a witch named Eliza and becomes friends with two other characters, one of them being a werewolf named Cliff. Darcy constantly coos over Cliff but since Cliff is a teenage boy he doesn't really like that kind of attention from her. Darcy respects his boundaries and doesn't intrude on his personal space, and her reactions to Cliff transforming into a werewolf show her as an endearing character. I feel like if Scorpia reacted to Catra the same way, her character would be a lot less creepy. Like if Catra did a cat thing, Scorpia could make a cute face, and she imagines herself cuddling with a bunch of cute cats before Catra yells at her to pay attention or something. Scropia struggling to remain professional in the presence of Catra while also trying to impress her could even be a bit of a running gag.
Wow, i have watched the new she-ra but not the old one. I'm not a fan of the new she-ra show but when you two made a rewrite, I really loved it then the show.
That's when you know that the people behind the show aren't really trying their best and putting more effort to the story when two random youtubers fixed their story in just one video.
I am literally in the age group that they are aiming for and even I & my younger brothers find this stupid.
Spinnerella and Nettossa are there as the token lesbian couple, nothing more, nothing less!
BTW, your rewrite sounds extremely interesting, I would have preferred it to this SOS!
Also, you do both actually sound different to me!
Yeah but you have to remember MUH REPRESENTATION
NOt like having boyfriends would have given them more screentime.
@@Bezaliel13 Literally no one is saying they need boyfriends. They need to have screentime, not living props. That's your imagination
@@Saltedroastedcaramel
Zenthron literally said "Spinnerella and Nettossa are there as the token lesbian couple, nothing more, nothing less!"
Also, you argued against "NOt like having boyfriends would have given them more screentime" with "[t]hey need to have screentime, not living props."
Seriously, what the hell?
@@Bezaliel13 They are the token lesbian couple because they are just there in the show doing nothing until the finale. Even Bo doesn't know what they do. That's why the op said that. They're literally there for diversity points. Either way, not only is it bad writing to have these two characters on the show do nothing for every time they appear, but it does give bad implications since Spinnerella is more heftier than glimmer, which was already a fucking dumb idea to her redesign as it is, Nettossa is darker than Bo and Mermista, and they are both the loser princesses that no one hangs around or cares.
Your version is so much better, treating character with care and respect.
Showing real tension and stakes is something this show lacks, also battle with armies.
Having 2 cat drawings could help newcomers realize easier that theres 2 people talking in the video, like you have in the home page of your UA-cam channel.
if they were visually different maybe
least for me just mirroring the image would not communicate that well since they sound so similar
but thats just me
wait there were two people talking?
@@Cinn-yt Yep, they're twins
@@meanncat3050 huhh
Totally gonna practice my art skills by drawing still shots for this.
Oh my stars, this episode write is amazing! I like it way more, it shows true struggles for the characters, more tension and drama, without removing the little jokes out there as you make all the characters competent! Seahawk was a sad joke, I like at times his character, but also, I can not take him seriously.
I love this idea because I'm planning to do a rewrite for She-Ra as well on AO3. The new She-Ra was fun to me but there were a lot of faults. Thanks for these discussions of the episodes on the show and this special is great for newer members like me to see even more of your talents. Great work!
awesome! you guys put in more thought more than the creators of this hot mess ever did!
This is probably one of the best rewritten episode ideas for this series that I've heard so far.
Yep. Fun, logical, and teaches good morals! I hope you do more of this when you have time.
Keep Up The Good Work~!
That Catra inner turmoil you guys did sounds great.
If I was working on a She-Ra reboot (which I might make a fan series since I want to) I'd keep Catra's transformation ability so that there can be a legitimate battle between her and She-Ra. If you noticed, in this show they never have a satisfying battle because either Catra taunts She-Ra from a safe distance, or She-Ra makes quick work of Catra. I guess there was sorta a fight between Adora and Catra that was really satisfying, as Adora finally seems to let go of Catra (only for everything to immediately go back to normal between them) but they had to keep her Adora to make it a fair fight.
I like your version much better. I'd love to see what you two can come up with for the other episodes.
Hey, I’m a fan of the show and I reeaaalllyyyy love your commentary!! The criticism is really insightful, and I love hearing what you think of certain characters and arcs! Thanks for the awesome rewrite
If the whole show was written more like this and had this amount of thought put into it, I honestly think I would enjoy watching it
A much better written episode in my opinion. Thank you. You’ve earned a sub from me.
Yup the evacuation scenario was one I thought of while watching the show. Glad you pointed it out.
am i the only one that liked the old she ra outfit then the new one? at least the old one didn't have triangles sticking outta her shoulders XD
Great rewrite, Netflix should’ve hired you to write for the show. Lol.
buzzxr1
Or anyone else than what they got.
The Netflix writers would probably get jealous of the compelling character stories, spot on continuity, in-depth plot and deep-seated lore that would eclipse their own.
This shows that with a few more rewrites, the show could have been good. I love your ideas!
I personally like your cat symbol, although at first I didn’t know there were two of you. Maybe you could split the face into a black and white pattern or something similar, I’m pretty sure you already thought of that though. Keep it up 👍🏽
Even working within the confines of the show you both made it 100% better. There was so much character development and set ups for future episodes that I want to here more from these characters (your interpretation that is)
Gratz on 1k
I hope you do more rewritings of the future episodes. This was fun to listen to.
Well, you do sound alike, almost identical. But there are small differences that pop up occasionally, it just takes time to the ear to adjust properly. I have twin friends and at first it was very confusing, but in time i got to know their habits, traits and quirks and i can tell them apart fairly easily now. That said, maybe you can give us a hand, as learning how to distinguish you just by voice may take too long. Many use avatars that move or shake when they are speaking, like ClownfishTV, maybe that could be done here. Loved the rewriting, makes much more sense now. Keep up the good stuff, girls, and congratulations.
I like this rewrite a lot, and it really shows that you know and respect the original. I also agree with the analysis that they should have made their own show instead of just skinning this as She-Ra and this episode was one of the key examples of why that was for me. I appreciate all the thought and would like to hear more examples of how you'd redo some of the other eps while holding to the limits and intent of the new.
Please keep doing this. You made a fun and engaging story. I really enjoyed it.
I feel like even mildly mentioning her brother wouldnt be that hard idk why they didnt. She could bring him up in conversations now and then, send him a letter and simply refer to him as "my brother" so they dont have any copyright issues. They want a coming of age story and completely missed part of growing up, family.
Adora, in the horde, writing letters to her brother because she vaguely remembers him while they were babies, but never sending them would be such a good subtle nod
This reboot is kinda weird, they toned down The character traits I liked about Hordak( obviously I know why cuz he was a super cheesy villain but his relationship with skeleton was interesting), and Hordak completely overlooked Adria’s betrayal which is weird cuz most villains would hire someone(or go themselves) and elimanate anyone who would hold sensitive info about their organization, and it really kinda skates the line of the Safe for kids, light tone and pouring serious down-to-earth character moments which has been worked in the past for other animated series it’s just for me Shera would be better if they just dive deeper into the lore over the course of the season( while also keeping the Catradora stuff) ,with the comedy, and give us a enough time to spend with the princesses( I feel like what happened to entrants would have been more emotional if I had more time with her)
2002 made Skeletor and Hordak pretty damn intimidating.
This was awesome thank you! I want there to be more of this!
Damn! Your version is MUCH better than the shit we actually got! This show feels so empty and shitty which is a shame, because a modern She-ha has a lot of potential.
Very much enjoyed this rewrite. Episode Five was the one that almost made me quit the show because of how bad it was. I felt that the show picks up a bit around Episode Six and had moments that were fairly good, but the show never rose above mediocrity for me in the end.
Your rework of this episode reminds me of the reboot I was writing for a fanvid in that it focused on having everything make sense. When I came to the project, however, people there were okay with the barely-altered script as if they had no sense of critical thinking. Likewise, there was barely any commentary regarding my extensive changes. It was only when I criticized the art club's popular kid that I got backlash. I wonder if the same cliquish dynamic applies to the writers of this show.
Sounds like the people at my highschool’s Anime Club. They were obsessed with CLAMP. All we watch was CLAMP Anime. I don’t hate CLAMP, I need variety in my Anime. One day, I brought one of my uncut Dragonball Z DVDs. They shot me down and said “that’s for kids”. It was an Uncut version!
This was good
Thou he could have faked his death cause the Captain always goes down with his ship and with being not hunted by anyone he can help in secret the rebellion and Mermista
You should continue rewriting episodes, just do it from the beginning.
OK... YOU NEED TO STOP THIS.
When the fanfics are better than the source there is a serious problem.
Your version could be a killer 2 part story.
You did a great job on this.
Hello, this is Joel. I have seen your videos and I’m glad that you have made these reviews. And I do have a couple of suggestions.
1. A list on the shows that you plan to review.
And 2. Any ideas for possible rewrites.
I totally Stan by this rewrite, no also congrats on the subscribers (*^o^*)
Sea hawk looks lovely like a Freddy mearkury wannabe
Charles Brossett *Freddie Mercury. And no, he looks more like a Village People reject.
You two are great, you deserve those 1k subs
Netflix Shera is to Shera as Johnny Quest is to Venture Brothers.
They should of just made their own thing, a parody at least.
*HellRay* Fake-Ra is a parody of She-Ra already. It should've been its own show; let it stand on its own two feet instead of riding on She-Ra's coat tails.
This is really good. Rewrite more episodes
King mica a beloved king? Thats a great idea, except the writers of the show really hate males. Why theres only 3 in the show. The closet gay man(bo), the idiot(sea hawk) and hordak.
Your story is way better.
I LOVE new mermista designe
(Don't kill me)
IRENE GUISADO Hey, it’s cool. Her design was pretty neat. The design actually coincides with stuff that I’ve been reading on the pseudo-science of mermaids, where they ought to be darker because of the way light bounces around in water, and sturdier because of the pressure of being deep underwater.
This was a pretty good alternate version.
This been good so far.
I say look at clownfish TV for who you can have two in the video. Also I find that you two sounds very similar.
It needs BRUSHABLE HAIR!
@randomusernameCallin
Clownfish TV tend to get a lot more emotional and openly biased. They're not nearly as calm and level headed as mjtanner, but thats just my opinion.
@@lloydbautista2055 I was talking more about how they show who is there and not what or how they talk.
@@lloydbautista2055but they point out the shady marketing of Netflix She Ra, especially the attitude of the showrunner.
You could rewrite MORE episodes.
AND JUST LIKE THAT, YOU MADE A BETTER SHOW!
Yes! That sounds like a Much better story!
What an improvement. Sigh.
That sounds way better than the original story.
Sounds like a better plot.
I like how you rewrote one episode and fleshed out the characters more than the entire show had in all 5 seasons. I used to be a huge fan of this show (mostly cause I was young and gay) but even then I knew the writing of the show was lacking and the characters all felt like stereotypes/caricatures instead of actual people. I love what you did with seahawk and mermista, and the horde seeming like a proper threat. You guys’ rewrite really highlights what the show was lacking.
4:55 did the animators trace Glimmer's face from Gorillaz???
The face structure looks very much the same.
You don't need to change. I find your different voices (which sound almost the same) quite interesting.
16:25 Oh my God ...the artwork is so horrible on this show... Bow's hand and arm are cringe worthy... And Lonnie looks copy/pasted onto Kyle.... it's just not believable...
I really love you your videos, keep the good work
I would prefer your version as it is much more like a reboot than reboot
Great rewrite! I’m also really sad now because the show could have been so much better, given more care and thought.
I wish you guys were in control of the show
Rewriting shows that have potential but are bad is my coping mechanism.
Can you do a rewrite on the princess prom and the D&D episode please
Great rewrite!
Heh, pet the kitty... that meant something totally different when I was a kid. XD Good job on the vid, very entertaining.
I actually found this version more engaging. Love it.
If you want to make it clear who is talking at any given time, you could have a separate icon for each of you (like a black cat and white cat) that shows on screen when its respective individual is speaking. You could also have a main icon that is you current icon except with the color split down the center of the face with white on one side and black on the other. Something like this:
snag.gy/M51sdv.jpg
Just a suggestion though.
😊👍 I am wrighting HE-MAN and SHE-RA-stories too. I did some little movies with action-figures. Its so much fun to tell my own stories with these characters.
Congrats on passing the 1K mark . :)
I wish He-Man was in this series :(
Blame it on lazy writers and lazy art. Seahawk could not even have a ship crew? Not even two or three members? Wow , how sad.
I want to attempt rewriting DreamWorks Dragons Race to The Edge so it's actually good.
May I? (Doing it anyway just because and I know I can do better.)
Starting off this show is not going to be a Y7 pretending to be a show for Young Adults this
is going to a be a harsh PG rating like the Watership Down Mini-series only with more color.
How to Train Your Dragon to me should be a show that's blurring the line between children's
and adult entertainment, much like the novels it's so-called based on.
It's going harsh, violent, and intriguing for the adult viewers, but be fun, energized, and
colorful for the young viewers.
We begin in the prison with Daggur but it's taking itself marginally more serious this
time along showcasing the dank unpleasant nature of an dungeon(Showing stuff like
skittering rats, empty shackles, and human bones) We see Savage.Mildew and few other the
Outcasts checking up on Daggur taunting him at his current pahetic state stuff like
'Oh' how the mighty deranged Berserk chief has fallen' but little do they know
the Mad Daggur has concocted a plan to break himself free.
He breaks out of his shackels having slowly loosened them over the years and an
Berserk rage he smashes Mildrew skull into the floor thus killing the frail old
dragon prejudice instantly, establsihing that the in-show characters can die!
In shock of this development Savage calls for reinforcements getting the
currently reformed Alvin to join the fray.
Laughing manically and making quippy one-liners Daggur is demolishing the
Outcast forces that are attempting to apprehend him, but the crazed lunatic
of an ex chief just won't be stopped.
Alvin and Savage enter to find Daggur's prison room to be littered with both dead and
wounded body's, with a mad glint Daggur grins at Alivn saying.
"Hey' LOOK! Alvin the Poor but Honest Outcast has come to fight little ol' ME!"
"I'll so you POOR and HONEST!" Alvin Growls as he pulls out his battle ax.
Daggur replies by pulling a sword from a limp body and two enter a
superbly crafted duel.
Alvin swings his axe despetly trying to get the upper hand over Daggur but the Young Chief
is just too nimble and quick witted to be trounced by Alvin.
With one wicked swing Daggur cleaves Alvins right hand off (Off-screen so it stays PG)
"I gotta HAND it to you Alvin! You looked pretty GOOD till you were DISARMED! Guess
out with the OLD in with the NEW is accurate, huh?" He points at Mildews body.
Howling with rage Alvin try's punching Daggur but he's hit hard in the gut by Daggur's
fist causing him to collapse.
Savage pulls Alvin over his back. "DO YOU THINK THIS IS OVER?!? WE'LL GET YOU
BACK IN HERE! JUST YOU WAIT!" He yells.
Daggur glares back at him. "You'll get me back? HA HA HA! Sure old timer sure! You should
you leave VILLIANLY to the Real BASTARDS!" (Getting a small bit of edgy swearing in)
Daggur walks out of the Prison in truimph gazing over the vast archipelago seas in lunatic glee,
as he howls. "I'M COMING FOR YOU BROTHER HICCUP!! YOUR'RE DAYS ARE NUMBERED
YOU DRAGON HUGGING BABY!!" He bursts in hysteric Joker style laughter.
We cut away back to Berk were we play a similar scene of Hiccup and Gang lounging at Berk,
questioning whether or not if there's a world outside they're little Archipelago and if
there's new dragon species out there. Hiccup still goes on his little outing on Toothless,
to come across the ship with imprisoned dragon remains(It's not exactly a viking ship
this time though.) and he still finds the Dragon Eye leaving right after.
After this we make a cut back to Alvin who now bearing his signature hook from the novels,
and he's standing right beside Trader Yohan. "You drived a hard bargain for that hook, I hope
it's all worth it in the end sir." Alvin is rubbing his hook menacingly.
"Oh, believe me trader, it's going to be plenty worth when I use to SLIT the throat of that
mad GOAT escapee!" Yohan takes a big gulp. "Well....at least you have your priorities straight
Alvin....the not so treacherous?" "MAKE THAT ALVIN THE VENGEFUL!"
"Don't you have better things to do sweetie?" A ghostly cackley voice is heard.
"I DO VERY MUCH MOTHER!" The camera turns away from Alvin showcases a frightening skeletal
old woman with sharp nails and seemingly empty eye sockets.
"What did I raise you for boy? FORGET THAT DAGGUR BOY, AND THINK MORE ABOUT
CONQUERING BERK! Ending the dragons would be nice too."
(This is the mother of Alvin from the novels.'The Wicked Which Excellinor' She's going to serve
as the replacement for Mildew.)
"I'VE BEEN TRYING THAT MOTHER! The Berkian punks just get KICKING my ASS out every time
I tried to INVADE them. So now I'm playing the role of FRIEND."
"FRIEND?!?" Excellinor gasped "You're A TREACHEROUS not an AGREEABLE! What happened to
your scheme of backstabbing your QUOTE on QUOTE best Buddy STOICK crowing yourself
a GREAT and BLOODY chief, making yourself the leader on the DRAGON EXTERMINATION FRONT!
YOU'RE GETTING SOFT CHILD!"
Alvin grabbed her in a choke hold. "You're the one who's gotten soft mother! Tell me how long
has been since you last killed a dragon?" Excellinor gasped. "Decades....but you....I haven't seen a
dragon die here in forever." Alvin released her. "Who needs to kill them when we can use them
instead?" Savage pulls out a Monsterous NightMare. It has an chained muzzle.
"Savage let it loose!" It's snout is unhinged. It howls letting loose an array of dragon saliva.
Alvin lets out a might Viking of a ROAR sending the beast whimpering.
"Hiccups method. Is overrated." He muttered as he inched towards the creature. "YELLING is all that's
REALLY Needed!" Yohan is stammering aghast in the corner. He looks scared but you
can tell he's hiding something. "WHAT ABOUT STOICK SON? Are you really going let him
stay in power when it's YOUR BIRTHRIGHT?" Alvin mounts himself on the beast. "That'll
come soon enough. Maybe it's almost time a cause another accident!"
He chuckels evily to himself proving he's still the Treacherous you know and hate.
He flys off and we cut back to Berk.
Hiccup is showing the discovery he found to his friends brings up his concern about the
strage un-viking like ship he found with the heaps of dragon remains.
(The ship will be later revealed to be a Roman Vessel the faction that my version of
Rickor and Vigo are now a part of.)
However before he could figure out how to work the dragon eye he's interrupted by an
unpleasantly familiar presence.
"Well,well,well! It's little Hiccup and his gang of damnable idiots!"
Hiccup and friends turn in surprise and shock to see Daggur the Deraged smiling
manically with an small army of Berserkers behind him.
This is when the episode ends.
Let me know if you want to here more of my ideas.
Borrowing this for my own She-Ra rewrite. Will credit you guys.
Amazing rewrite.
She-Ra writers should watch this and take notes. LOTS of them.
People obsessed with diversity seem to have a grudge against redheads for some reason.
They must really hate red-heads and replace them for "diversity"
Ooooh MJ upload ^@^
I wonder what take you have on episode 8. And specially 11
👌
Going back to the original, how old is Seahawk and how old is Mermista? I ask because if all the princesses are in their teens, is Seahawk REALLY hitting on a KID? For a fucking joke? Is he a teen? Again, thanks to the shitty designs of everyone here, I can't tell. If they wanted Sea Hawk to be flirty, wouldn't it have been better that he tried to hit on the QUEEN, who IS an adult? I mean, okay. Having him flirt with someone would have been a nice little humor bit but after that? Seahawk was just ANNOYING and there was no reason for it. It just keeps going into the spirals of 'Any character who is not Adora and her Princess Posse are stupid' which is not how you write a character driven show.
And you know the drill with these people; body diversity is only a thing if it's WOMEN. If it's men, they still have to be thin, hot, and muscular. And for fucks sake. They can put SHADING on places where they're shitting and standing but they can't put them on their bodies. Someone inform me, do shadows cost extra in animation today or are people really that lazy when it comes to applying them? It's not that hard and if you're that lazy, simple grey tone, multiple the layer so it's transparent to the lines and colors below it. Boom, lazy ass shadows but there are shadows.
Congrats though! I've enjoyed listening to your break downs of these shows and I'm going to keep coming back! Here's to more growth on your channel!
Question: what it's the point on ruin a old show instead of make a new one?
Because making something new is too much of a risk nowadays
@@Saltedroastedcaramel so all those people do not have a proper brain right?
@@accelerator8558 Yeah
@@Saltedroastedcaramel so what they gona kill next?
@@accelerator8558 there's that Kim Possible live action movie coming out
If you guys ever hit 20k subs, would you do another rewriting a episode, video?
I started watching in the low 6 digits, but it was clear it's going places.
thx.
You should send this to the writers and if they were smart they would listen.
Maybe the reason they try to subvert expectations so much is because they don’t want kids to grow up to be shallow, they may think that tropes like the damsel and distress and good vs evil might mess up their heads and make them think in black and white, so they make stories like this where the bad guys are “redeemed and relatable”, even though the bad guys don’t really earn it.
Do you guys actually finish each others sentence for real outside of UA-cam? Because that's interesting.
We do. We used to talk at the same time too but people made fun of us for it so we actively tried to stop doing it. Never got over finishing each other's sentences though.
Plz find Netflix and write Season 2
B-but I can tell you two apart from each other just fine!!
They should just make you guys the screen writers kuz y’all are 1000% better then the loonies that made this show
But see if you did all that they wouldn't be able to fill in all the extra nonsensical space with lesbian stuff
amateur match what do you mean?
@@patriciavicente374 i mean they sacrifice plot to make gay fanfiction
@@Match25 exactly, remember those two princesses who always show up to those meetings? No?, well you know why? Because there only relevant because there lesbian. There is nothing wrong with being lesbian but really?!, there only there for diversity points!
I thought Netflix had the rights to he-man (maybe they share it with sony?) and the reason they're holding back on the he-man side of things is because of the upcoming movie next year or so (which been in development hell for decades)
Owen Wildish Netflix has the rights to play original He-Man & She-Ra. DreamWorks has the TV rights for making New She-Ra Netflix merely streams it. Only Mattel still has the TV rights to make new He-Man.
@@Hodaris_Darlin ahh I see, I was a bit confused by this
Also I do like the reboot, it wasn’t the best first season but The Best Friends Squad are really cool to me, and Catra is a really great character and her animation is nice, I also like the new designs( they could look a little less ambiguous) cuz in the Plumera ep there were times Adora looked like she had a masculine physique and face and was really weird. This is NOT the worst reboot ever imo and I’m excited to see the show get better👌
All they had to work with? A bland cliche to market toys?
Wait there's 2 of you
It's a new show, great it like that.