7 Ways Narcissists Create Cognitive Dissonance by Lisa Leblanc
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- Опубліковано 9 чер 2024
- In this video, I explain what cognitive dissonance is as well as 7 common ways that narcissist's create cognitive dissonance, including mixed messages, inconsistent behaviour, and gaslighting. This creates a confusing psychological maze that can be very hard to escape from. At the end of this video, I will provide my best tips on how to resolve cognitive dissonance.
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Note: Video clips are from: "Love is Blind - Season 3"
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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Life Coach Practitioner, and Author with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.
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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. Lise Leblanc does not provide personalized psychological, health, or legal advice. Any information or responses provided on UA-cam are general and hypothetical, not individualized. This content is for informational purposes only and viewers should verify primary sources and/or seek professional services. Narratives about clients are heavily modified to protect their identities, using blurred details to teach and reassure without revealing private information about individuals.
If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:
Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
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Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CARE.
Introduction (0:00)
Cluster B Personality Disorders (0:48)
Number 1: Idealization/Devaluation (2:21)
Number 2: Reactive Abuse (3:08)
Number 3: Perceptions (4:30)
Number 4: Debating Between Choices (5:32)
Number 5: Sunk-Cost Fallacy (6:14)
Number 6: Mixed Messages (6:54)
Number 7: The End (8:25)
Outro (9:58)
#NPD #covertnarcissist #narcissist #narcissism
Lise, I did not believe in the existence of cognitive dissonance, I thought I was more powerful than to be under the influence of cognitive dissonance. I was wrong, the hope of getting back the first person I met, the one wearing the mask, and my codependency, made it so I went back to her more than 17 times and each time got worse, and very, very dangerous. I am fortunate to be alive today. I’m learning how to take care of myself and to not fall for this type again, and it starts with self love and exposing my own dependencies. I’m grateful for your channel and your insights. Thank you!
Your mom didn’t fulfill your needs and you are looking for someone to fill that void.
@@michaelgarrow3239 great guess! Close. Thank you 🙏🏻
@@JUMPforyourLIFE - Being aware is half the battle.
I wish you the best.
Omg. U saved me by commenting this. Bc of cognitive dissonance I was thinking of going back.
@@Tclaughable01 Yes, right! I went back many times and it NEVER got better, always worse. I’m glad you are not going back.
7 Ways Cognitive Dissonance is Caused
1. Idealization and Deidealization
2. Reactive Abuse
3. Sensory vs direct input
4. Debate between morally conflicting choices
5. Sunk Cost Fallacy
6. Mixed messages
7. Confusing end of the relationship.
"maybe they are telling you that they love you one moment but they are ice cold at the same time" - Yep, there were a whole lot of "I love you" 's but their tone and their actions afterwards showed the opposite.
Once you have been through the whole cycle once and have been able to process it (very difficult because this basically entails your brain having to accept that all “people” do not possess a conscience or empathy), it does become much easier to just head these people off at the first signs of dysfunction. You learn to believe what you are actually seeing and hearing instead of any forms of wishful thinking. When people show you who they are, we have now learned to believe them and make our choices accordingly. This is the antidote to allowing cognitive dissonance to arise.
I just got through divorcing a woman who abused me this way. I'm in counseling and slowly getting my life on track. I fear for my children- we share custody and every time they cry that they want to stay with me every time I bring them to their mother.
There is a way out.
You are so precisely correct Lise. Relationships with narcissists are always nice in the beginning but become progressively more convoluted and unpredictable. You can never have peace and joy with a narcissist until the day you walk away and don’t look back despite your affection for them. Given the chance they will eventually destroy what is you. Don’t ask me how or why…it’s just what they do.
Thank you Lise for this video!! As a 60 year old man, who got married at 44, was so distraught over why I couldn't help my wife see the joy in life. She was really happy when we got married and then little odd pecking comments crept up along with the way and the odd push-pull strategy that you can never help with started taking a toll on me. Went to therapists but there was never a solution. Now, 16 years later, I could describe our challenges and typed those into a search engine. My jaw dropped!!! You know the rest of the story but thanks to a few knowledgable people, like you, that offer man an understanding I can come to grips with Narcissism. I'm lucky enough to get the sneaky, cheating kind. Cognitive Dissonance is mind boggling. Keep up the great work. Much love to you and your family!!
Just wanted to say thank you very much. Your channel has helped me so much this last couple months. I just recently got discarded from a BPD/narcissist. I was devastated to say the least. This person came into my life and seemed to have all the answers and made me feel like I was the center of their universe. A feeling that I had only had for other people, but never felt that others felt that way about me. It was intoxicating. The compliments, and so much more. I thought I had a true best friend that I could rely on and that I wanted to make sure I was there for as well. I even stepped my friendship game up and did things to be there for her and support her. Even showed up at the hospital to sit with her all night, when all of her other friends did not even call to check on her after she had a “self harm“ incident. Then one day, things slowly started to change. Canceled appointments, underhanded comments. Went from needing my company to the point where if I didn’t show up to her place, she would show up to mine. To all of a sudden unavailable only at the times where I was available. And letting me know she was hanging out with other people without inviting me. Went from texting and video chatting me nonstop, to making me feel crazy and like a “stalker” because I did not understand the sudden hault in communication. She went from waking me up with texts and calls, to NEVER calling or texing. Anyways. Thank you Lise. I’ve been (and still am) hurt and confused. It’s hard admitting this as I’m seen as a physically strong and tough guy to many people I know. But everyone can be hurt by these people. These videos are helping me heal.
Even though I still believe that I was mainly the asshole myself for many years, what I will not forget is that I was in paradise for a few days because I had denied the truth. Although I actually knew this truth before, no love, no loyalty, nothing that could have formed a team in any way, there was only ego.
Of course also my ego, what I want to say is anyway, self-deception can also lead to paradise, I was glad to have experienced it and to know since then that there is such a thing. But the lie just makes you fall. From the very top to the very bottom, brutal. But hey, I'm still glad to have experienced it. To know what it's like to be at the top and what the reason is that you don't stay there for long.
Anyway... Wasn't it the same for you that this experience was just pure fantasy before? So as for the good? Was it also completely unthinkable and not real? Not even in a dream? At least that's the point for me. In spite of everything, I am glad to have experienced that there is such a thing, that I am capable of it.
@@svenboelling5251 the fall from so high is quite devastating. And I think I may agree with you. Having the experience has equipped me to be aware that these people exist and to not let it happen again. And yes, I take some of the blame for overlooking the warning signs. I do worry that I may not open up again, and miss an actual friendship down the road. But that’s for another day. I hope you’re doing well friend
@@blkmamba31 Not really ok... it's been almost 10 years since the psychopath gave me the rest and almost 8 years with the sociopathic woman. I don't know the official difference between the two, but I sometimes have to come to terms with the fact that the sociopathic thing is exactly what I was 20 years ago. Although I still don't understand exactly how empathy works. I think I have too much of it and am therefore forced to turn it off every now and then for self-protection. But psychopaths? There's nothing there. For the wrong kind of biscuit with coffee, they go crazy. Well, what bothers me is, for example, this compulsion to be given rules and laws that these people can refer to. Or they have to, because they don't have it inside. Regarding the woman, for example, the rule that one does not cheat in a relationship. Jahahaha... but if there is trouble because they are fucking with a strange man 2 hours after the relationship has ended? They don't understand the problem, the relationship is over, so why should this be cheating?
It's just ego, pure ego and no understanding at all, but are they evil? No... Unfortunately not, that would make it much easier psychologically for everyone else. After all, no one complains about lions when they follow their nature. But anyway, there are vicious creatures out there that don't hunt for food.
The push-pull strategy is powerful strategy. I got to enjoy it too. Mine Cov. Narc just used it in a different manor. I would get home from work and she would be quiet, I asked is there something wrong and she would say "nothing". I would would ask what she was thinking and she would say "nothing". I would ask are you doing OK and she would say"I don't know". WTF, this happened so much and I wanted a happy wife so would try to lighten the mood. It usually got better but sometimes I would get upset because she didn't know what was bothering her. I was easy pray then and for many years after that. I try not supply her with positive or negative energy anymore. Is so out of this world. Good luck on your journey!
I wish I could have liked this video 100 times. It’s true but who didn’t go through this kind of relationship will never understand. God bless you Lise. 🙏
This sounds nearly identical to the way my wife is and treats me. We started the relationship with her loving me almost too much, and now she hates me to the core. But every couple of days, she switches from hate and anger to everything is fine, and we need to work it out. It's a nightmare, and I am tired of the abuse. I also spend WAY too much time trying to understand the countless and constant contridictions she makes in her actions and words. And our children just about hate her.
You only get this life….
Yep, I'm right there with you, but 2023 was a VERY eye opening year for me. I was forced to deal with her full blown, mask off abuse. I'm through the grief stages and am working on getting out soon. It's terrible to be lied to in every way and to know that the whole marriage was a con, a lie. It amazes me that there are scumbags like this with zero feelings for others.
@@timmywitty1432 Amen to that. I keep telling her and myself, if this continues much longer I'm filing for divorce. I don't want to deal with two personalities anymore, who won't get help, who won't do anything to take accountability, and the kids don't deserve it either. But there's these days where she is great, and it's the only reason I'm still with her is the hope she eventually stays better longer and longer over time. But after 13 years I doubt it.
Wishing you the strength to free yourself and your children…you’ve got this!@@SpragginsDesigns
Contradictions and hypocrisies made me insane. I lost myself in that relationship. I dont miss her insanity. Then add her son's narc behavior, along with his fathers, no thanks. I'm better off alone.
Took me three times too finally break from a covert narcissist. Almost 7 years too the day.
Only by watching Lise over the last 12 months have I come realise what was going on.
Thank you so much.
Mickdz.
After being in a short but very bad relationship with a narc and then having to deal with another one in a work setting i learned all my lessons and i can definitely recognise all these signs and have experienced all of them at one point or another. When finally i came accross a third narc i almost immediately spotted the red flags and did not allow myself to be fooled again. Thank you for spreading this extremely valuable information for free, there are a lot of good men out there trapped in toxic relationships with narcs
This speaks to me. Two months since terminating our engagement. I'm trying to lean towards the feeling that I dodged a bullet, not that I shot myself in the foot. What a nightmare. Thanks, Lise, for all the good work you do.
1. Sudden shifts between idealization and devaluation
Which side is real?
2. Reactive abuse
First triggering you and then blaming you as the bad one
Who are you?
3. Perceptions
One step in your own reality and one step in the alternate reality of the narc
What is the real perception?
4. Debating between choices
Positive and negative aspects
Conflicting choices that confuses
5. Sunk-cost fallacy
We have already invested so much time and energy
We keep going instead of cutting
6. Mixed messages
Contradictions in words & behaviours
You are getting confused and doubting yourself
7. The end of the relationship
You cannot stop wondering
Conflicting thoughts and feelings
The truth is not easy to see and you still are trying to fix this puzzle of endless pieces -STOP IT- this puzzle is not to fix
Thank you very much, Lise 🙏💛🙏
This was very helpful 😊
Very true ! For someone with NPD , it’s paralyzing being in the same zip code even if family.
I agree to all the ideas. Also that they compliment you wrapped up in devaluation, and they don't even feel sorry for what they say or do. They keep defending all those contradictions!!! A hopeless endeavour even after so many years. Nothing changes in them!
In a nutshell, I come from a dysfunctional and psychologically abusive relationship with my father who was a covert narcissist and had robbed me of my self-worth, I was homeless with him for a very long time during my upbringing and never had a good home life growing up. I managed to escape that and had to go great lengths to get away from him. I went to go be with my extended family that had found me on the internet, I genuinely felt that I would belong with them and I thought they felt same way, but unfortunately, I guess they didn’t. What seemed like a gift from the universe, just turned into something that only contributed to my psychological and emotional wounds, I was only with them for 3 months because of how difficult they were to live with, and how conditional their love and regard was towards me, their love was like a benchmark, I couldn’t really be loved or accepted for just the way I am and only if I meet certain criteria, and had to constantly jump through hoops in order to be loved, and if I wouldn’t, then it’s basically ‘bye peace out can’t live with your family’. It’s just unfair to me how my upbringing pretty much got robbed by a narcissist father and is something no kid should ever have to go through, while my fully related brother got to have what they called a ‘privileged life’. Yet, some online stranger on discord invalidates me saying “you haven’t made it sound any better” when I told him that I finally got to be with my brother I never got to grow up with, and he even went on to say “why should they love you” and “who are you and why should you be loved and cared for” and even a former friend laughs at me and invalidates me and minimizes my feelings saying “well they raised your brother and not you so he’s their kid and not you why do you think you deserve everything he always gotten.” and that put more salt in the wound…and my aunt didn’t even have any idea why I went to go be with them, even though she invited me and was like “why not come stay here?”. It has put me in a constant endless loop of rumination. I remember I stayed with a friend of mine and his family because his mom couldn’t sleep at night knowing that I was sleeping in a car in a parking lot somewhere. They treated me as equally as their 2 boys… I wanted that with my brother… every other kid gets to have a family home life with their families and their siblings, the most basic thing a family can give… but I can’t? I’m not supposed to?… I have had someone that recognized the validity of my feelings though, and that person said “How on earth can you not be allowed just the same if not more”. All that I wanted was a life there with my family… why would anyone be wrong for that?
My divorce from a 7 year marriage to a CFN finalised today. Super mixed feelings about it. Mostly sad. I needed this video today
Lise Leblanc
I think many of us don't know how to choose a partner correctly. Are you willing to make a video on how to choose the correct partner? Someone who is empathetic and not self-centered. I think that video will be educational. Thank you so much 😊
Your illustration clips are always so on point. Will Smith saying he will show up forever was especially uncomfortable. 😮😅
Triangulation is something I missed from the list. Like: Since you are always bussy with your (stupid ) work I was asking Joe to help me put up the curtains... Come one we are toogether since 2 months now and Joe is my friends-friend since childhood...
Joe left his T-shirt here... I must bring it back tomorrow...
Joe asked me if I could go help him buy new furniture this weekend since I have such a good taste. This is why we have to skip your brother's birthsday... But you can go without me darling. ..
7:44 wow this really brings back fear and bad memories ughhh with her condescending body language, smirk and hand gestures, which do not match the words. Yes, the words sound nice but she has an utter look of disdain and contempt while she speaks.
Thanks for the bull’s eye advice! The hard part comes next: sticking to it. 🙏
The way every single word you say strikes home is just scary. The cognitive dissonance can tare your soul apart. In the beginning you believe you finally met that special someone and later can't believe that same person is treating you the way they are, you blame yourself, try to make it work, sacrifice yourself in every possible way, but no, when it's time for the discard god may have a mercy on your soul. You'll be in for the biggest pain of your life.
Not sure if you truly realize how much your videos helped thousands of people like me around the world! There are not enough words to describe that gratitude! Just, thank you!
Hey Lise, excellent content, it's incredibly helpful to have this information you generate for us who are not mental health care professionals. Most of us, at least certainly me, had considered narcissism some character flaw to pass off easily until...yes...we're in a relationship with one, and we were completely baffled, dizzied and confused by what we experienced. Were it not for you and the content you provide I would still be stuck in a Trauma Bond, and totally clueless Narcissism is in fact a DSMV mental disorder. I really did not understand what it was until I came across one of your videos ( the PHIL video as I call it). You articulate the features of NPD in your videos so well and give helpful tips to navigate this mind space, this one is no exception, quality content as usual.
Loved point 1. Idealized to Devalued , to me that's a signature behavior
But my favorite in this video is the Sunk Cost Fallacy, oh my, I had forgotten or maybe didn't realize the cost of "salvaging" a failing relationship, multiple times.
Thanks for your generosity Lise
Chris
PS readers I did the Toxic Relationship Recovery course. Its quit valuable.
This is SOOOO spot on for a few relationships I've experienced.
#Narcissit shall micro judge the situation. In start, they ll do to find good in you. You might feel special. But, wait, life shall unfold like a nightmare
I was with my ex for 11 years. I got the love bombing at first and then it was just sex for her benefit. I didn't really mind because I wanted to please her and I did enjoy it too. This sort of trailed off a little bit and then completely stopped. I was cut off. We still live in the same house and she is going through young guys (in their 20's) every day, even twice a day, at any time of the day. She is 46. I didn't come to the realization that I was being abused by a Narcissist. Everything you describe is what I endured. This is destroying me. I get anxious, angry, shake, get physically sick, depressed, question myself, and virtually can't think straight. I am in a fog. What keeps me there? My job is in the same town and I don't have the means financially to survive alone. What's worse is we work at the same company.
make a plan and get out and go no contact
Only you can save yourself.
you are so right.....I thought she loved me. We had good times, but when she eventually told me she was bored the horses were out of the barn
They get bored and need new supply. If you listen carefully they give you hints of what they are up too. My ex said she talked/texted a younger male friend ( no interest in ) and then says she masterbated 3 times later that day. It's a subtle shift (under the radar) that throws a red flag. When questioned she gets defensive. Go figure, but according to her I'm aways accusing her of cheating in some way. She is the type to think that cheating only happens when penis inserts into the vagina. All other sexual acts aren't considered a violation to the relationship. Plus, she thinks when you're NOT married, ( only dating ) she she is entitled to sleep around on her partner. I shouldn't be upset because the relationship isn't scared with the bond of marriage because that's what she wants me to believe in her reality. It's crazy talk. I had to leave the relationship to save my own mental health.
Lise, your content is top tier.
Out of the twenty PhDs that I've studied under at the
Graduate Level, I must say that your authenticity, tolerance and wisdom is refreshing.
Kudos to you Lise.
Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones.❤
All 7..pfft.. Damn... didn't have to second guess that one..
I've broke free & totally NO CONTACT... On a healing journey 🙏 ❤ it's not been easy...I will never go back 🎉 Once you see it you NEVER unsee it ....❤ NEVER GO BACK Xx
Congratulations! Wishing you all the best
This was on point, very clear , thank you for this
Disseminating this knowledge about predatory people is AWESOME. So many will be saved. God bless you.
Lise, you are a rockstar! Thank you
All this makes sense.
I think you have a great sense of humor...
My english is unfortunately not so good, I have to use a translator.
Apart from the narcissist topic, I'm pretty sure I have a problem with it myself. My main problem at the moment, however, has been for years, is that the experts turn victims and perpetrators around and do not even begin to pursue the possibility that there is a completely different caliber that is on the way.
The way I see it in my case is quite simple, as a child I had already been different and what I had problems with from an early age were lies.
To this day, 40 years later, nothing has changed. Lies, or untruths, provide an unreliable reference point for the soul to orient itself towards, and I hate that.
Although hate is the wrong word, I simply don't see the point in lying.
What is completely incomprehensible to me here in Germany is the fact that the cause psychopath does not seem to exist among the experts.
For almost 10 years I've been talking my mouth off and the chance to make someone understand that lying harms everyone is already at zero.
Far worse, however, is the fact that the experts here seem to have no idea about the effect. The consequence of a few years of brainwashing by a narcissistic psychopath, for example, is quickly diagnosed as paranoid shizophrenia. I could go crazy when I think about the fact that psychiatrists are too incompetent to be able to justify that years of cheating automatically cause paranoia. And much more.
I had tried to explain to the last idiot that it was the first time in years that I had heard, in words, what happened to me at that time.
It was Jordan Peterson who told something about collapsing axiomatic systems in a video.
That's exactly what I had experienced, only a little further and more profound than he had described. And the experts here say what? Nonsense... There is no such thing.
So from that point of view, do you have any idea what's going wrong here in Germany with the training of experts?
I am so grateful for the work you do Ms. LL. This was incredibly insightful and revelatory for me. Thank you for your commitment to helping us the way you do!
Thank you so much for this video. It is incredibly validating. Unfortunately I could relate to all of it.
Thanks Lisa, I really needed to hear that last part . The spinning contemplation, the sheer wreckage...like a car crash can affect a car... brain shop/ body shop. Repair bills. ...way more cautious on the road after....metaphored out. good night
I’ve never seen this topic addressed as clearly as this, anywhere. So clear
Thank you for your content Lise.
Every relationship left is now a Punishment...no one to trust...all lies...everything destroyed. They say I deserved it...even lying bleeding in a filthy ditch...I deserved that too...how can so many people band together to hate one girl who had to scrape herself up so many times???
Very interesting perspective on Narcissism. It all makes so much sense. Thank you for this great video. After experiencing narcissistic abuse this is great information to help the healing process. You are appreciated ❤
Could not have identified the issues any better!
Thank you Lise
I Like your Videos so much !!! U helped me unbeliveble much !
Thank you
That was an unbelievably helpful interpretation. Keep it up 👍. Love you and those who benefit from your videos
Extremely Excellent! Thank You. Very Helpful. Peace To All.
If you can stay away from people...DO IT
Very helpful Thank you
Thanks Lisa, this is so helpful!
Struggling with a BPD partner, everything you say is so recognizable!
Thanks no I now what to do!
Although very sad, that you can’t have a relationship with a person either bpd.
It’s a very challenging relationship dynamic and if the person with BPD is not in treatment, it can be impossible
Thank you for a very informative video. 😊
Some are dismissive avoidant and BPD and a NARC
Even discovering this has explained my girl, but hasn’t caused my pain to go away .
Only a man with ADD could solve all of these puzzles. Every puzzle piece would have to be photographed, categorized, stored into a computer database, and then those images could be indexed, and run through and image comparative AI, and then maybe run on a supercomputer, but who has the time? Who has the time? Ya'll best let them heifers be.
Thank you 😊
Lise, you are beautiful and the information you give on your channel is beautiful. I recently heard about a person who was so narcissistic she was described as Ms Hyde and Ms Hyde! 😱 your channel is very helpful!
You're getting prettier and prettier, Lise.
LOVEBOMBING: ENGAGE!
Thanks a lot 🤟
Thanks!
Thanks so much 🙏
The best way to address gaslighting I find is just to agree with them firmly “I agree it’s warm in here”
and remember it’s them doing the reality manipulation not you. You are being normal they are not
I learned they will argue with you just to make you miserabl. Tell them the opposite of what you really want.
Feed us doctor Lisa ❤
💯 % ACCURATE
❤tfs 😢
Oh My God! The Commercial That Played At The Beginning Of A This Narcissism Video Was Donald Trump Selling Gold Bars Of Himself!
Exactly what ive been through a to z
The one i had flipped these things onto me when i pointed out facts she has said to me then she ignored and acted like i twisted or believed lies
I feel like this is missing a self awareness component. Yes, it is good to be aware of the types of Cognitive Dissonance in others (Narcissists) - but what about in yourself? I found myself going back and forth between : "I do that sometimes" to "I have been the victim of that sometimes." Maybe it's just me 🙂
These periods of being warm and caring or cold and demeaning, how often do they last? I get the impression that people imply that they switch on a daily basis, but in my case it's that she is switching about between 1-3 months.
I had 2 relationships with narcs. In one of them he was switching daily and in the other one after 1 or 2 months. So it may vary according to the person, I guess . It is happening when they get bored. Every person has a different boredom threshold.
All this resonates perfectly. Based on what I am hearing in all your videos I could comfortably diagnose my wife as having BPD-Covert Narcisism. I believe my wife to be good willed. You and other profs seem to conclude this is unsolvable. Has there been a case of resolution? Is it treatable? My wife knows something is wrong and is wanting my help to connect to a professional. What are good next steps?
Look up Marsha Linehan’s work.
I've been with my husband for 18 years. He has always been extremely critical of my past choices. Choices I made well before he came along, while I was single. I made the mistake of being 100% open with him in the beginning...before I knew who he truly was. He has berated me time and time again over my poor choices. Its constantly used against me....even 18 years later. He makes snide and condescending remarks here and there. He lets me know whenever he can that women are basically soul sucking monsters. He told me this morning before work that there is no reason for a man to even get married these days...after showing me a video of a woman proudly confessing her children weren't her husbands and he only found out when they divorced. I'm not like that woman. I've been a good wife. Perfect? No. But I've never cheated, I've been very good to him. We have 3 kids and I've been at home for 12 years. I feel the life has been sucked out of me. I have no idea who I am anymore. I can't go out with friends anymore without him gaslighting me into feeling like I've somehow wronged him. It's actually worse now than it was in the beginning. The jealousy. I feel like slowly he has poisoned me against my family and friends. I'm never going to be good enough because I once had a life before him. 18 years....
Jen, I did 14 or so years with someone who changed my whole perception of life it's truly a scary lonely place to be..from reading your post it seems you are doing this mostly by yourself, just know there are people out there who can help..no matter how you feel, you are not alone..psychs, counselors, groups, all have their merits, at least you'll see you don't have to put all this on your shoulders.. Namaste and hope better times come soon..
hi , thank you . this moment I feel not good. I am dealing lon gtim ewith narcistics. last weeks it felts i had support and the feeling they do know now they have to keep a distance.
But last week another persons ask me something. normaly i said yes its okay. But the fear of narcistic treath (attnetion from narcist) take the over hand.
its about giving a parking place to a nice person. but that nice person will not understand very clear that it will take also the attention of the narcists.
ao last week i try to give it but also felt the stress 9responsibility feeling) to try to warn him. But instead of finding the words I was talking very negative about the narcist.
And also did not give my place because of fear.
I have much regrette for talking like a snake about another older person. And also that he stills control me (because I felt the fear so I dotn give my place official to a person i do like). Because I feel and can give the problems.
Serious I am now so tired (drained and make worry. to tired also to talk with that nice man. Because this subject is something I know now a lot from but also do realize not everybody will understand.
Realy I feel stuck. what can I do. I am all the time thinking now about. its now minut 2:34 i watch now further. (also i still wnat to give that narcist that place if that nice man want to change. so there is more harmony and i respect older. but in this case i realy felt desperate. in mean time i just wnat to give something and look whats happening.
Lise... What show clips are these???
No not at all
👍👍
The victim of a NPD will eventually need to become reborn again. That is the remedy.
How do you lead without appearing to be a narcissist?
With kindness!
With authenticity.
Much if the problem with a female narcissist is that other women back them up. You never get the truth. Now I never considet women to be friends. It's like women think that lies are a given right. I no longer protect women. I've lost all respect.
"Much if the problem with a female narcissist is that other women back them up. You never get the truth." That is ABSOLUTELY NOT a "women" problem. More often than not -- not only do men back other men up no matter how terribly they behave, but very often women's perceived "dysfunctions" are from trying to contort themselves for survival in male-dominated societies, which is for the most part what we have in Western (and Eastern) culture.
Not all women lie. Don’t generalize.
there are no unicorns only chameleons
Respect is earned not granted!
At the end, she ll find thousand 'Reasons' to leave you
Guys, put them in their place and never shed a tear for such person. Work on your personal growth and masculinity.
Regards,
COGNITIVE DISSONANCE is the key
Hot cold
mixed msgs
pull push
Jekyll Hyde
Oof
Don't get Dis(sonance)'d....
Treat them like they got Zackly!
Zackly (WebMD) : When your breath smell ZACKLY like yer ass
It s all story telling 😂