I dated a narcissist. When I met her she told me her ex used to abuse her physically, emotionally and sexually, and he threw her down a flight of stairs. I felt so bad for her. My relationship with her followed the usual course of narcissistic relationships - we went from (what seemed like) true love to hell in about a year and broke up. Later I hear through the grapevine she's been telling her friends I abused her physically, emotionally and sexually, and I threw her down a flight of stairs. All lies, but that's when I realized, the guy before me probably didn't do these things either. This is just the narcissist's sales pitch to suck in new victims.
Peterson has a video up about this. Since women cannot use physical violence, they often resort to reputation destruction. My ex spread all sorts of lies about me. She even tried them in court. Thankfully, the judge didn't buy it. Still, she didn't get in trouble for lying in court when she should have. If the roles were reversed, I would have been heavily penalized.
@@Patriot_Eke it’s sad , there is two different standards for abuse victims.. one for the girls and another for the guys . for girls is zero tolerance and for guys… oh it’s not that bad . take it like a man😞 it almost killed me
I was married to one for several years. Holy shit, never ever have I experienced this kind of insanity. The breakup is a complete mindfuck. You realize about everything was an illusion, a hoax.
@@robert.9028 or at least any one with narsistic Tendencies. My ex contested it too, and it was expensive, but I finally have peace of mind. I think it was money well spent…
@@robert.9028 I'm sorry for your traumatic experience. I should think that radical anything is to avoid but modern women as a whole? Don't let the experience make your brain go in search of complete opposite next time ie a lady that won't cross the road without you ;) As the Buddha says: the middle way.
They're never happy, even when they appear to be in the next relationship. They're just riding that dopamine train until it crashes and the current partner will experience the same fallout as you did, while they skip off into the sunset with the next unsuspecting target. Good discussion.
They find new supply before they discard you. They don't spend a second single. They may or may not be physical with this new supply, but they have already chosen this person and that new supply is already being manipulated.
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe! A Day of Loneliness Beats a Day of Madness!!
I've come to realize her whole image she projects to the world is a total fabrication. She recently reached out after years asking how I was with cute little compliments but I saw it for what it was and stayed unemotional. Recently found out her engagement is over. Feel sorry for the guy
Absolutely right! I was in a long term fantasy relationship for almost 8yrs. What a crash when I got discarded. There were many red flags along the way that I totally pushed aside to stay in the relationship that I THOUGHT was good. Thank you for all in your insight. It’s a tough road to recovery.
It’s amazing how much infant trauma and broken family can hurt a human being so much. And lead them into Narcissism and BPD. Love, authenticity, and justice are the answer. And they all come from God. Directly, through family, professional help, friends. But it is God.
Yes. Part of me wants to hate her. But then there's part of me that knows her parents and how terrible her upbringing was. They made her the monster she is today. But she is an adult and accountable for her actions. No excuses.
The pain of losing something that never was is a uniquely disturbing and disorienting experience. Theirs is a cold and desperate existence of manipulating others in hopes of finding someone that will love them "hard" enough that they will finally feel it. They have abandoned themselves and are looking outward for what can only be found within.
If you think THEY are the one that "made' you feel then you are still under their control/spell, you're still wrapped up in their neverending inner delusions/dar-kness, and you learned nothing. The truth is, you were loving YOURSELF the entire time you were interacting with them as they were doing nothing more than mirroring you, there is nobody inside them in the first place, therefore there was nobody for you to love but yourself (as they themselves are incapable of true empathy/love). Stating that they made you feel is like saying an empty robot made you feel, or an empty soda can made you feel. And in the same way it's completely ridiculous to think a Narc made you feel anything...As they were doing nothing more than mirroring you in the beginning. Based on a lie and you cannot truly feel for lies. They are completely incapable of processing their emotions, they don't know how to. And that is why when you state that you love them they greatly resent it, they turn you into an enemy and play their games. Because inside they ask themselves- " how can you possibly love this ? ' Unless you get over these massive hurdles and understand the bigger picture of Universal spiritual truths in your relationships then you will never be the truly empathic powerful loving spirit being you truly are to love the world/heal the world. ..
You videos have carried me through a toxic relationship from the beginning of the relationship until the breakup. Thank you for everything you do, Lise!
Great video Lise! I recently broke up with a female who is a covert narcissist. She displayed many of the traits you describe that covert narcs exhibit. At first, she made me feel like I was her knight in shining armor and showered me with compliments and maintained constant communication with me but little by little her mask started to slip and she started to have moments where she wouldn't treat me well, totally unlike the person she portrayed herself to be in the beginning. After these first few incidents, we started to have relationship difficulties on a regular weekly basis after a few short months of what seemed like the beginning of a perfect relationship.It's almost been a month since I ended things with her (and she brutally discarded me and hasn't said a word to me since). I'm slowly recovering because I realize trauma bonded to her. What hurts me the most is the thought that she's off doing the same thing with someone else and that her words and actions weren't genuine and, as an empath I'm left with the lingering thought that things could have been different.
This is what they do. Mine did the same thing, constant communication, at first I thought it was sweet and loving, but then I discovered it was anything but loving and sweet. The constant communication was used as a dispatch time log, she would use to scrutinize how long it took me to get home from the gym, or anything I would do to leave the house, she wanted leaving and arrive times. I thought it was sweet but it was just a trap, when the mask fell, all the sweetness left the text messages. The text messages were just loveless time stamps use to control. The communication was presented as love but it was all for control. It took me 3 years until I saw the mask slip multiple times. It took me 2 more years hoping the good times would be back, but was left totally drained exhausted and neglected. At the end it got really bad when she thought she was above me because she was attending Christian church 3 days a week. Lots of triangulation putting church and god before me as much as she could.
@@derekmarks8969 I like your idea of timestamps. That makes perfect sense in retrospect. Funny too, in a similar way. I actually tried to get mine to go to church and bring the kids along. "I'm super busy." was the usual response. It wasn't until I was cast aside that apparently it was really no trouble at all to go to mass with her mom. Gosh.
@@CFChristian yeah she’s trying to pretend now she’s changed and she’s going to church. It’s all an act. When girls say they are to busy that means they just don’t give a fuck.
Has anyone else experienced this? My Narc wife filed for divorce months ago, and has convinced herself that I am the Narc. (I heard her listening to UA-cam videos months ago but did not take it seriously at the time.) My daughter was ahead of the game, figuring her out so that supply dried up for my wife. Our daughter has turned me onto these videos, and as I watch them, I am now figuring out that my wife is ‘gray stoning’ us both because she thinks I am the Narc and because she has found a new guy which means a new Narc supply. Watching these videos, I am now learning. This is a blessing to me and our daughter who says her mother is dead to her. We are quickly approaching my wife’s second divorce for the exact same reasons that I heard about her first Ex. And she already has her next victim in her sights. I am really grateful for these videos. They are making a lot of sense to me.
There should be more support available for men that have gone through this. I am a woman and have gone through this and can't imagine what it must be like for a man to go through this and not have either the support or the validation over this.
Damn. So true. I've thought of calling the dude and letting him know what he is in for but if he is deep in his C-PTSD and Stockholm Disorder, he no doubt will be defensive and incredulous. So sad, he will be another damaged victim. " Welcome to my parlor said the spider to the fly".
Bless you for your kindness and empathy. Sadly a narcissistic relationship is like being in a cult and you can never tell a cult member they are in a cult as they believe in it and the love bombing it too powerful. Then there is that trauma bond because they have cut ties with everyone else so that is the sunk cost fallacy too. Sadly some things have to be experienced to be believed.
Each new supply is just a child's shiny new toy. We were that toy once. The child always always gets bored and needs a new toy. They sometimes go back to an old toy, but its usually battered bruised and has an ear missing, its not treated well and often neglected.
These short videos are priceless! Focus on healing and caring for yourself, as you cannot heal anyone else. Don't bash on yourself-or anyone else- in this realization.
Ya mine was always posting how happy she is with her new bf, and I caught her stalking me with fake insta and Snapchat profiles tryna talk to me, and when she knew I recognized her, she started telling she has no bf, and that her mom is terminal cancer, just to get some empathy.. she keeps her real accounts clean to show she's loyal to her new bf, and doing all these fakes to try get back on her ex's.. shes never satisfied.. and she's actually surprised when I call her stalker or manipulative.. I'm actually sorry for her new bf..
I knew one who had been stalking her ex husband with fake Facebook pages and she literally told me she was a stalker. She had been divorced for 24 years and had several children by different men yet she couldn't stop stalking her ex-husband whose been remarried 22 years . He was the one that got away with no children attached with her.
@@kynathomas4809 believe me, if I'd go in details, I'd write books on what I've saw with my own eyes lol, and it was a mere year relationship.. and she's only 19.. what would she'll accomplish by the age of 30?? I thought I was special, now I think I'm just one of many.. it's like a virus.. and the way she convinces u.. I'm so glad that I realized it before getting stuck.. although it can change anyone's aspect about relationships, coz u'd keep saying u never know
Holy cow. My ex does the same thing !! She makes fake profiles to spy on her ex to entrap him for NOT following the court order to take their son on the weekends ...she told me this. I think it's a bogus excuse.
Lise thank You so much for this video. This is exactly the way I am feeling about my soon to be ex-wife! She is walking around like she is so happy with her new supply and I have been stressed. Thank You so much
This is text book my ex. The same play pattern. I can't believe how i was taken in, love bombed, shown her vulnerabilities (which weren't true), then the manipulation, the gaslighting, the control, micro manipulation, cut off from friends, subtle constant criticism, everything had to be her way. Wow. She's had a string of unsuccessful relationships and is still stuck in that cycle. Oh and I'm to blame apparently. And i was a constant abuser apparently, funnily just like her previous ex ...
My narcissist surrounded herself with adolescent boys as her excuse was that her son needed a lot of friends. One night when Walter, a 12 year old who she spent a lot of time having deep conversations with him, I heard her ask him and I quote, " Which Is Worse Blue Balls Or Being Kicked In The Balls!" I was floored!! I confronted her and said "What The Hell Are You Doing?!" She totally dismissed it. That is when I knew she was not only a narcissist but also a pedophile.....I left shortly after that. Narcissists are demonic and have all the traits of their father the devil.
@@derekmarks8969 well you tell me based on their "FRUITS" or if you don't know the Bible.... their character traits. Let's put some light on the matter. They're selfish and full of pride never admitting fault of any kind, they cheat and then blame you for the reason they cheated when exposed, they lie, gaslight, which means they distort your reality, they instigate chaos and confusion, they manipulate and scheme, they are all about image putting on a fake mask to the outside world and very materialism, they are vengeful and full of hate and envy, ofcourse only the very close to them see behind that mask. As I stated with my ex they don't have moral boundaries. I'd say that it's the character of the devil but you decide.🙏💯
@@desertweasel6965 yes it is! It's called grooming. After I stumbled on and started researching narcissism and spectrum B personality disorders I had a "LIGHT BULB" moment. Everything that many councilors and physiologists shared about this disorder made it very clear that she was one. It totally shed light on the darkness. I use that analogy because it is a spiritual darkness. If you see what is occurring in not only our Country but world wide you can see the total godless push upon the rest of humanity.
These videos are life savers. Thank you so much for this. Its amazing how your words are exactly right to the situation and what I need to hear. I have had a therapist help me over time and your videos are my in between support on my journey. Thank you again so much, I have been struggling to keep myself away from her. This is a great reminder of what it would really be like if I did try to engage with her again.
My narcissistic ex-girlfriend dated a guy for 3 months and he put a ring on her finger, with a wedding date of next June. I suspect the idealization phase will be ending shortly, and he soon will wake up and won't even know what hit him. I'm thinking she'll somehow hold it together enough to have him sign the marraige certificate.
Oh boy...I see the same pattern in my ex. She tried to trap me with the pressure of marriage. I had to slow down the relationship and she didn't like it. She began the devaluation process and saw a side of her I didn't like. Controlling, manipulative, selfish and lack of empathy. I knew it wasn't gonna work. She tried to string me along until she found new supply but I kept pulling away. She eventually discarded me a soon saw her out with someone new. I knew it wouldn't be long till she hooked another guy in her game. That hurt, but I wasn't surprised. I just expected better. These types CAN'T be alone !!!
Thank you for focusing on men and giving great advice in your videos. Since watching you I've realised I attract them. I've had an overt, a covert and a psychopathic narcissist girlfriends and your information mirrors a lot of the things I've been through. Thanks❤❤❤
You help me see the horrible behavior and tendencies in myself that I would ignore or excuse as something else. It sounds horrible but this is the truth of it. You’re helping abusers like me to stop hurting and manipulating others. Thank you
I want to thank you for your work..i just got cheated on from my girlfriend ..she has done it several times..we are broken up again for good now....i am hurting and miss her very much..trying to break free...so depressed
I've had a few want to come back, I said no !! as much as I loved the smashn !! I had one send me pics of her cooking and happy new life just as Lise said hhhha but the drama and bs wasn't worth it !!!!
@liseleblanc - I am from India. I sincerely thank you for creating such informative content & explaining to the extent that anybody can understand & diagnose whether the partner is Narcissist or not..
I confronted my narcissist ex with examples of her behavioral patterns, explaining to her that I think she has a cluster B personality disorder, as she was trying to hoover me. It was like water off a duck’s back, she succeeded in hoovering me, only to discard me again a few weeks later. She’s a frustrating puzzle I can’t stop trying to solve.
Yes you can! "I release you to your fate". Repeat as many times as needed until you resist the urge. My ex.narc is low on supply and looks like a drug addict on withdrawal. The manipulation is oh so subtle. I considered trying to do just what you did. Fortunately I repeated the mantra until the feeling passed. I've been hoovered before and it never ends well. Close the chapter and move on. Let go of any anger, pain, pity, or empathy. You are holding on only because that's all that is left. But it's just in your mind. There is nothing left. Release her to her fate and live your best life.
That's bc you need to heal your truama wound of loneliness . She is just in the way. She has nothing to do with it, and is just a distraction from your true healing 👍
I can relate. I ruminate the same puzzle pieces in my head. I have all the answers, I just keep asking the same questions over and over....to be honest, I'm going insane, while she is living her best life with new supply. Not sure why I waste time being stuck, trying to solve a puzzle that's already put together. I see it clearly, but don't accept it. It's like my brain keeps playing the same music over and over and over and over again. I'm not worried about her mental health anymore.... I'm worried about mine.
I’m trauma bonded still but everything you said here is what I experienced with my exGF. Of course she posts on her IG that SHE has been a victim of narcissistic abuse & her stupid friends believe her. They should call Me!!
Oh man....my ex would say her ex bf was a narcissist. She claims he physically and mentality abused her. She mentioned how bad she HATED him but told how she went to wineries, restaurants and events with him after the break up. I thought it was odd for her to hate her ex but do things with him. When I confronted her, she used the excuse she was afraid of him because they shared a son together, and she didn't want her son to be abused. It's just LIES, LIES, LIES
You are always so accurate with your descriptions and analysis. I know this will sound very callous but this all begs the question ...should NPD's deserve to be treated with empathy/humanity especially given that they exploit exactly that?
I caused my narc to have a Narcissitic collapse and it was a sight to see, it was like a scene out of the Exoersist. I grabbed her mask and tore it off and exposed her, she did not know what to do. She has been having affairs but she will not move out of the home, she aint moving on quickly!!!!!
I know that part of me thinks about that… But what I do understand is that where she is with is not someone she's going to be in love with anymore than she was in love with me. She is just choosing that person for her self vindication. I feel sorry for the guy. And then when I feel sorry for the guy I realize that, yippee!! I'm not the guy anymore!!
Unfortunately her emotions will shift which she seems to have no control over and as her feelings are taken by her as absolute gospel facts the new man will face devaluation much sooner probably half the time it was with you. The best case scenario is if you don’t have children with her. If she has baby rabies (like my 35 year old ex) the new guy will have a much shorter time window to ‘produce the goods’ or he’ll face a much quicker discard than you regardless of how much she said she loved you two days ago! Of my 10 month on/off relationship with my ex I’d say the new guy might at best survive 4 to 5 months tops
8:44 wow I remember when my distance relationship Soulmate twin flame called me her boy toy. So now she hoovered back and talks to her exes both followed at the same time on TIk TOK. And she claimed I would be the problem that I like to talk about my childhood memories when something nreminded me of it. She made me feel that being in my age thinking about that is not normal and I would had experience some trauma because of it. normally she never gets angry she claimed but I Highly doubt that.
If you think you have a narcissist partner look for therapy regardless if you want to stay in it or let it go. By therapy I mean self therapy, not couples therapy. Couples therapy with narcissist is unproductive.
They are masters of creating the perfect outward image so after a break up dont expect anything less. Thats why you should stop looking at their socials if you still care about them. Nothing good will come of it.
Crazy , Ex of 9 years did everything video explained towards end. Started actually changing seemingly for better for us & then out of no where flipped out broke up. Week later already had hickeys & staying at a guys house playing step mom to his children. Saying he needs her & his children needs her she doesnt want to hurt them . She is going to do right by them. Even told my mom they were her step kids (She has 0 children) Told mutuals god blessed her & shes so happy , hasnt been this happy in years she feels so free… im like bullshit she’s fronting , had her mom & friends in on the whole move. Smearing my name crazy… Im like wow
I know the true her & even though we had our differences i was able to get to the core… She is unhappy & faking everything. I seen her & she looked depleted lying to herself to try to hurt me. Crazy watching somebody you love destroy themselves trying to hurt you. Love her cause i was genuine but im disappointed in her actions 😓
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Insightful and Eye-Opening! Lisa LeBlanc's exploration of the covert narcissistic wife is both enlightening and deeply insightful. Her nuanced understanding of this complex personality type sheds light on behaviors that are often overlooked or misunderstood. LeBlanc masterfully delves into the subtle manipulations, emotional tactics, and the hidden dynamics that define a covert narcissistic relationship, making it accessible for anyone who has experienced or is currently dealing with such a situation. What stands out most is her compassionate approach-LeBlanc offers practical advice and coping strategies, empowering readers to recognize these toxic patterns and take steps toward healing and reclaiming their sense of self. Her writing is clear, engaging, and supported by real-life examples that resonate deeply. Whether you’re new to the topic or have been dealing with it for some time, this book is a must-read. Highly recommended for anyone seeking to understand and navigate the challenges of living with a covert narcissistic partner.
I do feel so very free. Sad that I was so drained that I’ve had to literally crawl out of the sewer I thought was love. It’s been a year and I’m being myself, dating myself and enjoying it. Just wish I could make it so he does not enter my thoughts every day. But time will help!
Dear Lisa Thank you for your hard work to help us. Sense of relief and hope that you bring here to the world of abused man is so much helping. Understanding speed ups healing.
Thank you Lise, I needed this today. It's been 6 months; I miss her so much, I'd take her back. I'm lucky she hasn't reached out and is with someone else (I think). I'm moving to another continent next week but I don't feel safe - if she reaches out I'm doomed. How am I still in love with a toxic mess? lol.
Peter, don't grieve for a ghost, someone who was only ever a figment of your imagination. You are still early in the trauma bond phase. Once your cognitive dissonance completely reconciles, meaning you are no longer struggling to determine whether or not the narcissist has a good side (you understand that the good side of a narcissist is nothing more than manipulation). Once you accept the fact that this is who and what they truly are, is the moment the trauma bond releases its power over you. Good luck Peter.
True, all true, but The real true is that there is a trauma bound. And If it is the co-dependent who leave, after beeing leave many times, it might be even more dificult, because affection persist.
Week after the break up shes with someone calls me to tell me and blocks me smh. She had to come pick up her dog at my house a week after and came with her new man. These ppl really deserve the worst
Yep mine after telling me she loves me and want to be exclusive in 3 weeks. Sex for 3 months then she had to stop till marriage. 3 months is to quick so I said I can see is possibly being married in the future, but I’m not ready yet. She agreed. We made it about 2 weeks after that and she text me saying she’s falling away from god and can’t handle a relationship right now, especially extra kids, since I had 2. 3 months later she’s with a new guy with kids. Feel bad for the guy I really do. But it gets easier every day especially since I can enjoy the skit instead of getting upset at it like I use to. I changed my whole look and I know I look good 😂 love yourself always
It's strange because this video is so informative however I also found myself finding things out that are in this video. I called her out through a 43 page letter and she got together with someone STRAIGHT AWAY which makes me actually think she was already with him. Getting a new supply ready because she knew I was going to call her out. When we split up, she had the nerve to say that I needed help. Sent me a picture of her and her new supply two months later through email saying "this is what true love is". I didn't open the picture. But I saw what I should have seen ages ago and that was that she was INTENTIONALLY hurting me throughout. Ghosting me for a couple of weeks whilst we were together. Telling me she was going on a date with someone else. Even that she had sex with someone else because I wasn't there. Telling people lies about me. Never ever mentioning her abuse. Her lies. Her cheating. And there was more stuff. Again, in other comments I have written that I haven't seen her in ten months and she called me two weeks ago when she's not allowed to. Can a narcissist be happy? On my letter I wrote about how I didn't believe what she said about her exes-for example, she'd got thrown out of a car by an ex, all of them cheated on her, another abused her....and so on. I wrote she was the common denominator so that surely she must realise that it's HER. I used to wonder what she says about me? I don't care anymore because it would all be lies anyway.
Is anyone else dealing with a partner that says they love you one day and then are hurtful the next day over a small argument? My gf will lash out when she’s upset, and it gets to a point where if she will threaten to break up with me. If I refuse to listen to her breaking up with me she will say “Can we just end it please?” There was this one time I did no contact for 5 days and she texted me 20 times in a row asking why I didn’t blow her, begged me to block her, said “Please just block me!!!” Repeatedly and called me over 50 times in a few hours. This was a month ago, she’s still irritating and trying to break us up every other day. Some back story on her, she was abandoned by her dad when she was younger. And she was in a 2-year relationship with an extremely abusive ex, and she was assaulted by an uncle. She’s been through A LOT, and I honestly feel bad for her. I don’t stick around because I feel bad, it’s because I’ve seen what she’s like at her core. I just don’t want to give up on her you know? It’s hard because I do see a future but I just need her to get better and want to be better. She admitted she wanted therapy and even signed up for it but she hasn’t been scheduled just yet.
Bpd and probably a narcissist. I know what you mean when you see them at their core. That’s the most painful part you want to help them. That’s why we stay or stayed, because we are good people. If you don’t see a huge shift after therapy and she’s still throwing break ups in your face, I would eject ⏏️
If she is already older person like 30+ and hasnt sought help than I don't' think she is able to get any better, the thing is cos we are kind hearted and empaths we have weak boundaries and we let people like this keep on disrespecting us and at the end you are gonna get burned down, and god help if you guys get pregnant etc, soon you are going to be davalued and then discard, and hoover if they have a weaker supply she may come back to you for more and then same cycle happen until she finds someone better than you. Question are you gonna gamble with your precious time, is this even love that we all feel about our partners who are BPD or Narcissistic? or it just simply the case of our weak boundaries and kind heart?
How long are you willing to wait until "she changes"? 5 years? 3 years? 6 months? Figure it out for yourself and give it a firm deadline. If no positive changes by then (one step forward two steps back is Not a sign of progress, it's a trap) move on with your life.
You assume her ex was abusive. He may very have not been abusive at all - she's just doing a smear campaign. These creatures lie about absolutely everything. Don't be surprised if she tells others that you are abusive. You should cut and run as soon as you can. Go full no contact. Nothing good will come from staying with her.
It's nice when your narc takes off with another guy, but then two weeks later you hear that she's been calling everyone she knows trying to come get her and bring her back home since she's stranded, out of money, and in a town she hates Nobody will go get her. When/if she gets back, I was also told that she's losing her awesome place and going to have to move into a really sucky situation besides. I'm not sure she's coming back though, because through my getting to know her she has been exposed. Her fantasy life has been found out to be fictitious.
LoL I'm the horrible ex, Guilty! Please please remember my survival mode, I'll do it again if pushed...so I'm not worth hoovering .. I'm horrible... who's that over there!!!!
It officially means that he/she will now be someone else's problem. The narc will always do what narcs do best anyway. The new supply is bound to figure him/her out at some point.
Thank you for this video Lise. My narc ex was upset on Friday because I wouldn’t be back in town from my moms chemo treatment for childcare so she could spend the weekend with the new “supply.”
When I saw that they bought a house together, the only thing I could think was that the new supply is in for a world of trouble.
Sending Love ❤️ ...Donna..Are you single ?❤️😊
Just had exactly the same experience, she's snagged another walking wallet.
@@casinodelonge👌😂😂😂😂
Can you update on how their relationshit is going? 😂
@@Danny_pagan They are still together after 5 years. But, we were married for 35 years, so he's well experienced in hiding his bad behavior.
I dated a narcissist. When I met her she told me her ex used to abuse her physically, emotionally and sexually, and he threw her down a flight of stairs. I felt so bad for her.
My relationship with her followed the usual course of narcissistic relationships - we went from (what seemed like) true love to hell in about a year and broke up.
Later I hear through the grapevine she's been telling her friends I abused her physically, emotionally and sexually, and I threw her down a flight of stairs.
All lies, but that's when I realized, the guy before me probably didn't do these things either. This is just the narcissist's sales pitch to suck in new victims.
Sounds very familiar... putting the pieces together.
Peterson has a video up about this. Since women cannot use physical violence, they often resort to reputation destruction. My ex spread all sorts of lies about me. She even tried them in court. Thankfully, the judge didn't buy it. Still, she didn't get in trouble for lying in court when she should have. If the roles were reversed, I would have been heavily penalized.
@@Patriot_Eke it’s sad , there is two different standards for abuse victims.. one for the girls and another for the guys . for girls is zero tolerance and for guys… oh it’s not that bad . take it like a man😞 it almost killed me
Lol 😂
@@ChrisDeVarro ?
I was married to one for several years. Holy shit, never ever have I experienced this kind of insanity. The breakup is a complete mindfuck. You realize about everything was an illusion, a hoax.
Lise...You are helping hundreds of thosands of men who are suffering because they got involved with a BPD/narcissist. Thank You.
Im borderline narcissists and got myself with another narcissist, we are suffering as well
I also really like Tara palmontia, she's fighting for men too
@@robert.9028 Sounds like you were the problem, buddy
@@robert.9028 or at least any one with narsistic Tendencies. My ex contested it too, and it was expensive, but I finally have peace of mind. I think it was money well spent…
@@robert.9028 I'm sorry for your traumatic experience. I should think that radical anything is to avoid but modern women as a whole?
Don't let the experience make your brain go in search of complete opposite next time ie a lady that won't cross the road without you ;)
As the Buddha says: the middle way.
They're never happy, even when they appear to be in the next relationship. They're just riding that dopamine train until it crashes and the current partner will experience the same fallout as you did, while they skip off into the sunset with the next unsuspecting target. Good discussion.
They find new supply before they discard you. They don't spend a second single. They may or may not be physical with this new supply, but they have already chosen this person and that new supply is already being manipulated.
Enjoy the ride I say 😂
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
A Day of Loneliness Beats a Day of Madness!!
I've come to realize her whole image she projects to the world is a total fabrication. She recently reached out after years asking how I was with cute little compliments but I saw it for what it was and stayed unemotional. Recently found out her engagement is over. Feel sorry for the guy
Absolutely right! I was in a long term fantasy relationship for almost 8yrs. What a crash when I got discarded. There were many red flags along the way that I totally pushed aside to stay in the relationship that I THOUGHT was good. Thank you for all in your insight. It’s a tough road to recovery.
Are you single? Asking for a friend
It’s amazing how much infant trauma and broken family can hurt a human being so much. And lead them into Narcissism and BPD. Love, authenticity, and justice are the answer. And they all come from God. Directly, through family, professional help, friends. But it is God.
Yes. Part of me wants to hate her. But then there's part of me that knows her parents and how terrible her upbringing was. They made her the monster she is today. But she is an adult and accountable for her actions. No excuses.
The pain of losing something that never was is a uniquely disturbing and disorienting experience. Theirs is a cold and desperate existence of manipulating others in hopes of finding someone that will love them "hard" enough that they will finally feel it. They have abandoned themselves and are looking outward for what can only be found within.
Preach
Speaking truth
If you think THEY are the one that "made' you feel then you are still under their control/spell, you're still wrapped up in their neverending inner delusions/dar-kness, and you learned nothing. The truth is, you were loving YOURSELF the entire time you were interacting with them as they were doing nothing more than mirroring you, there is nobody inside them in the first place, therefore there was nobody for you to love but yourself (as they themselves are incapable of true empathy/love).
Stating that they made you feel is like saying an empty robot made you feel, or an empty soda can made you feel. And in the same way it's completely ridiculous to think a Narc made you feel anything...As they were doing nothing more than mirroring you in the beginning. Based on a lie and you cannot truly feel for lies.
They are completely incapable of processing their emotions, they don't know how to. And that is why when you state that you love them they greatly resent it, they turn you into an enemy and play their games. Because inside they ask themselves- " how can you possibly love this ? '
Unless you get over these massive hurdles and understand the bigger picture of Universal spiritual truths in your relationships then you will never be the truly empathic powerful loving spirit being you truly are to love the world/heal the world. ..
Exactly
Amazing statement
You videos have carried me through a toxic relationship from the beginning of the relationship until the breakup. Thank you for everything you do, Lise!
Even if they remain with a new main supply, they're cheating with multiple other supplies! Sick people.
Great video Lise! I recently broke up with a female who is a covert narcissist. She displayed many of the traits you describe that covert narcs exhibit. At first, she made me feel like I was her knight in shining armor and showered me with compliments and maintained constant communication with me but little by little her mask started to slip and she started to have moments where she wouldn't treat me well, totally unlike the person she portrayed herself to be in the beginning. After these first few incidents, we started to have relationship difficulties on a regular weekly basis after a few short months of what seemed like the beginning of a perfect relationship.It's almost been a month since I ended things with her (and she brutally discarded me and hasn't said a word to me since). I'm slowly recovering because I realize trauma bonded to her. What hurts me the most is the thought that she's off doing the same thing with someone else and that her words and actions weren't genuine and, as an empath I'm left with the lingering thought that things could have been different.
I'll bet you were always the one giving and she only took from you. What did she contribute to the relationship besides sex? Nothing ........
when trouble goes… don’t ask where
This is what they do. Mine did the same thing, constant communication, at first I thought it was sweet and loving, but then I discovered it was anything but loving and sweet. The constant communication was used as a dispatch time log, she would use to scrutinize how long it took me to get home from the gym, or anything I would do to leave the house, she wanted leaving and arrive times. I thought it was sweet but it was just a trap, when the mask fell, all the sweetness left the text messages. The text messages were just loveless time stamps use to control. The communication was presented as love but it was all for control. It took me 3 years until I saw the mask slip multiple times. It took me 2 more years hoping the good times would be back, but was left totally drained exhausted and neglected. At the end it got really bad when she thought she was above me because she was attending Christian church 3 days a week. Lots of triangulation putting church and god before me as much as she could.
@@derekmarks8969 I like your idea of timestamps. That makes perfect sense in retrospect.
Funny too, in a similar way. I actually tried to get mine to go to church and bring the kids along. "I'm super busy." was the usual response. It wasn't until I was cast aside that apparently it was really no trouble at all to go to mass with her mom. Gosh.
@@CFChristian yeah she’s trying to pretend now she’s changed and she’s going to church. It’s all an act. When girls say they are to busy that means they just don’t give a fuck.
Happy or not I don't give a toss. As far as I'm concerned, she's dead and I'm moving on
Amen brother 👍
Love it
bingo! best bet is, i dont care.
I feel the same way
Has anyone else experienced this? My Narc wife filed for divorce months ago, and has convinced herself that I am the Narc. (I heard her listening to UA-cam videos months ago but did not take it seriously at the time.)
My daughter was ahead of the game, figuring her out so that supply dried up for my wife. Our daughter has turned me onto these videos, and as I watch them, I am now figuring out that my wife is ‘gray stoning’ us both because she thinks I am the Narc and because she has found a new guy which means a new Narc supply.
Watching these videos, I am now learning. This is a blessing to me and our daughter who says her mother is dead to her.
We are quickly approaching my wife’s second divorce for the exact same reasons that I heard about her first Ex. And she already has her next victim in her sights.
I am really grateful for these videos. They are making a lot of sense to me.
Thanks for mixing in a bit of comedic relief in this session, Lise. Somehow the hell l I lived is a bit less devastating if I can laugh!
There should be more support available for men that have gone through this. I am a woman and have gone through this and can't imagine what it must be like for a man to go through this and not have either the support or the validation over this.
p.s. but the only real healing I have found is through a man, the God man Jesus Christ.
They are never happy, it was all a act and they know what they are doing full stop!
Damn. So true. I've thought of calling the dude and letting him know what he is in for but if he is deep in his C-PTSD and Stockholm Disorder, he no doubt will be defensive and incredulous. So sad, he will be another damaged victim. " Welcome to my parlor said the spider to the fly".
Bless you for your kindness and empathy. Sadly a narcissistic relationship is like being in a cult and you can never tell a cult member they are in a cult as they believe in it and the love bombing it too powerful. Then there is that trauma bond because they have cut ties with everyone else so that is the sunk cost fallacy too.
Sadly some things have to be experienced to be believed.
I feel sorry for the poor fella......same time finders keepers......no take backs......your problem now ....not mine. Congratulations
That’s how I feel. Poor bastard has no idea what he’s in for.
Why would I care about an ex, narcissistic or otherwise? The point of an ex is that you don't have to care about them any more.
0 contact.
Agreed.
Each new supply is just a child's shiny new toy. We were that toy once. The child always always gets bored and needs a new toy. They sometimes go back to an old toy, but its usually battered bruised and has an ear missing, its not treated well and often neglected.
These short videos are priceless! Focus on healing and caring for yourself, as you cannot heal anyone else. Don't bash on yourself-or anyone else- in this realization.
Ya mine was always posting how happy she is with her new bf, and I caught her stalking me with fake insta and Snapchat profiles tryna talk to me, and when she knew I recognized her, she started telling she has no bf, and that her mom is terminal cancer, just to get some empathy.. she keeps her real accounts clean to show she's loyal to her new bf, and doing all these fakes to try get back on her ex's.. shes never satisfied.. and she's actually surprised when I call her stalker or manipulative.. I'm actually sorry for her new bf..
I knew one who had been stalking her ex husband with fake Facebook pages and she literally told me she was a stalker.
She had been divorced for 24 years and had several children by different men yet she couldn't stop stalking her ex-husband whose been remarried 22 years .
He was the one that got away with no children attached with her.
@@kynathomas4809 believe me, if I'd go in details, I'd write books on what I've saw with my own eyes lol, and it was a mere year relationship.. and she's only 19.. what would she'll accomplish by the age of 30?? I thought I was special, now I think I'm just one of many.. it's like a virus.. and the way she convinces u.. I'm so glad that I realized it before getting stuck.. although it can change anyone's aspect about relationships, coz u'd keep saying u never know
Holy cow. My ex does the same thing !! She makes fake profiles to spy on her ex to entrap him for NOT following the court order to take their son on the weekends ...she told me this. I think it's a bogus excuse.
Lise thank You so much for this video. This is exactly the way I am feeling about my soon to be ex-wife! She is walking around like she is so happy with her new supply and I have been stressed. Thank You so much
This is text book my ex. The same play pattern. I can't believe how i was taken in, love bombed, shown her vulnerabilities (which weren't true), then the manipulation, the gaslighting, the control, micro manipulation, cut off from friends, subtle constant criticism, everything had to be her way. Wow.
She's had a string of unsuccessful relationships and is still stuck in that cycle.
Oh and I'm to blame apparently. And i was a constant abuser apparently, funnily just like her previous ex ...
The emotional discard is worse than full discard because it deepens and prolongs the pain.
My narcissist surrounded herself with adolescent boys as her excuse was that her son needed a lot of friends. One night when Walter, a 12 year old who she spent a lot of time having deep conversations with him, I heard her ask him and I quote, " Which Is Worse Blue Balls Or Being Kicked In The Balls!" I was floored!! I confronted her and said "What The Hell Are You Doing?!" She totally dismissed it. That is when I knew she was not only a narcissist but also a pedophile.....I left shortly after that.
Narcissists are demonic and have all the traits of their father the devil.
Their father the devil wow, trademark that, make t shirts
@@derekmarks8969 well you tell me based on their "FRUITS" or if you don't know the Bible.... their character traits. Let's put some light on the matter. They're selfish and full of pride never admitting fault of any kind, they cheat and then blame you for the reason they cheated when exposed, they lie, gaslight, which means they distort your reality, they instigate chaos and confusion, they manipulate and scheme, they are all about image putting on a fake mask to the outside world and very materialism, they are vengeful and full of hate and envy, ofcourse only the very close to them see behind that mask. As I stated with my ex they don't have moral boundaries.
I'd say that it's the character of the devil but you decide.🙏💯
Imagine the control and manipulation they can bestow upon a young boy who doesn't know any better. That is about as sick as it gets.
@@desertweasel6965 yes it is! It's called grooming. After I stumbled on and started researching narcissism and spectrum B personality disorders I had a "LIGHT BULB" moment. Everything that many councilors and physiologists shared about this disorder made it very clear that she was one. It totally shed light on the darkness. I use that analogy because it is a spiritual darkness. If you see what is occurring in not only our Country but world wide you can see the total godless push upon the rest of humanity.
was she fat
She def wasnt aware how abusive she was. She was literally in her own world
You should have a radio talk show with screened call ins
These videos are life savers. Thank you so much for this. Its amazing how your words are exactly right to the situation and what I need to hear. I have had a therapist help me over time and your videos are my in between support on my journey. Thank you again so much, I have been struggling to keep myself away from her. This is a great reminder of what it would really be like if I did try to engage with her again.
Married 20 years, and 10 days after she told me, she had a new supply/lover. Amazing! We werent D and tah dah, here is her soul mate.
My narcissistic ex-girlfriend dated a guy for 3 months and he put a ring on her finger, with a wedding date of next June. I suspect the idealization phase will be ending shortly, and he soon will wake up and won't even know what hit him. I'm thinking she'll somehow hold it together enough to have him sign the marraige certificate.
Oh boy...I see the same pattern in my ex. She tried to trap me with the pressure of marriage. I had to slow down the relationship and she didn't like it. She began the devaluation process and saw a side of her I didn't like. Controlling, manipulative, selfish and lack of empathy. I knew it wasn't gonna work.
She tried to string me along until she found new supply but I kept pulling away. She eventually discarded me a soon saw her out with someone new. I knew it wouldn't be long till she hooked another guy in her game. That hurt, but I wasn't surprised. I just expected better. These types CAN'T be alone !!!
The hoovering started 3 months after our break-up aka 6 weeks after her marriage, yes marriage.
She doesn't know I'm subscribed to this channel 😂
I struggle every day after ten months from discard. Eight years. Zero empathy. After we married, she found new supply and left me with no explanation.
Thank you for focusing on men and giving great advice in your videos. Since watching you I've realised I attract them. I've had an overt, a covert and a psychopathic narcissist girlfriends and your information mirrors a lot of the things I've been through. Thanks❤❤❤
I wish to everyone to be happier and better than me, I'm not jealous, i just want my sanity
Thanks for the video, currently on the hoovering stage, I decided to cut contact with her. Only way to heal
I love the lil clips you put in after making certain points, great content
Thank you Lise! You have helped out immensely!
You help me see the horrible behavior and tendencies in myself that I would ignore or excuse as something else. It sounds horrible but this is the truth of it. You’re helping abusers like me to stop hurting and manipulating others. Thank you
I want to thank you for your work..i just got cheated on from my girlfriend ..she has done it several times..we are broken up again for good now....i am hurting and miss her very much..trying to break free...so depressed
I got cheated on once. Just take a flight out to a lads holiday for a week. You will get over her when you see how caring and loving other women are.
Lise, thank you for revealing the truth. 👍
I've had a few want to come back, I said no !! as much as I loved the smashn !! I had one send me pics of her cooking and happy new life just as Lise said hhhha but the drama and bs wasn't worth it !!!!
terrific video...SPOT ON! I was so devastated and I feel so much better
She’s happier because he’s keeping is wallet wide open while I kept mine closed once I started learning who she is. I’m not a sex addict like him.
Lise, thanks for the video. This sounds alot like BPD to me - the two conditions seem similar.
@liseleblanc - I am from India. I sincerely thank you for creating such informative content & explaining to the extent that anybody can understand & diagnose whether the partner is Narcissist or not..
1.Emotional Health 2.Spiritual Maturity 3.Discerment
I confronted my narcissist ex with examples of her behavioral patterns, explaining to her that I think she has a cluster B personality disorder, as she was trying to hoover me. It was like water off a duck’s back, she succeeded in hoovering me, only to discard me again a few weeks later. She’s a frustrating puzzle I can’t stop trying to solve.
Yes you can! "I release you to your fate". Repeat as many times as needed until you resist the urge. My ex.narc is low on supply and looks like a drug addict on withdrawal. The manipulation is oh so subtle. I considered trying to do just what you did. Fortunately I repeated the mantra until the feeling passed. I've been hoovered before and it never ends well. Close the chapter and move on. Let go of any anger, pain, pity, or empathy. You are holding on only because that's all that is left. But it's just in your mind. There is nothing left. Release her to her fate and live your best life.
That's bc you need to heal your truama wound of loneliness . She is just in the way. She has nothing to do with it, and is just a distraction from your true healing 👍
I can relate. I ruminate the same puzzle pieces in my head. I have all the answers, I just keep asking the same questions over and over....to be honest, I'm going insane, while she is living her best life with new supply. Not sure why I waste time being stuck, trying to solve a puzzle that's already put together. I see it clearly, but don't accept it. It's like my brain keeps playing the same music over and over and over and over again. I'm not worried about her mental health anymore....
I'm worried about mine.
end of relaionship wonder often our ego and not us .we must let go.the world is big and life go on
I’m trauma bonded still but everything you said here is what I experienced with my exGF. Of course she posts on her IG that SHE has been a victim of narcissistic abuse & her stupid friends believe her. They should call Me!!
Oh man....my ex would say her ex bf was a narcissist. She claims he physically and mentality abused her. She mentioned how bad she HATED him but told how she went to wineries, restaurants and events with him after the break up. I thought it was odd for her to hate her ex but do things with him. When I confronted her, she used the excuse she was afraid of him because they shared a son together, and she didn't want her son to be abused. It's just LIES, LIES, LIES
People who are 💀 inside can't be happy. 🤡
If I knew about Lise video before I wasn’t suffering so much in a relationship with a narcissist
I'm a charming danger to society.
We all appreciate the knowledge your spreading
Another great Video, these videos are such a help on getting Some understanding on what the hell just happened to me. Cause it was so confusing
You are always so accurate with your descriptions and analysis. I know this will sound very callous but this all begs the question ...should NPD's deserve to be treated with empathy/humanity especially given that they exploit exactly that?
I caused my narc to have a Narcissitic collapse and it was a sight to see, it was like a scene out of the Exoersist. I grabbed her mask and tore it off and exposed her, she did not know what to do. She has been having affairs but she will not move out of the home, she aint moving on quickly!!!!!
On behalf of all men, thank you so very much for helping us ❤🙏
I know that part of me thinks about that… But what I do understand is that where she is with is not someone she's going to be in love with anymore than she was in love with me. She is just choosing that person for her self vindication.
I feel sorry for the guy. And then when I feel sorry for the guy I realize that, yippee!! I'm not the guy anymore!!
Thank you so much! God bless you and your family for all you do for victims of devastating epidemy!
I know you are right. Lady - I am really impressed with your knowledge. Your wisdom is priceless..... John
Man you’re an angel sent from the heavens 👼😇
Unfortunately her emotions will shift which she seems to have no control over and as her feelings are taken by her as absolute gospel facts the new man will face devaluation much sooner probably half the time it was with you. The best case scenario is if you don’t have children with her. If she has baby rabies (like my 35 year old ex) the new guy will have a much shorter time window to ‘produce the goods’ or he’ll face a much quicker discard than you regardless of how much she said she loved you two days ago! Of my 10 month on/off relationship with my ex I’d say the new guy might at best survive 4 to 5 months tops
8:44 wow I remember when my distance relationship Soulmate twin flame called me her boy toy. So now she hoovered back and talks to her exes both followed at the same time on TIk TOK. And she claimed I would be the problem that I like to talk about my childhood memories when something nreminded me of it. She made me feel that being in my age thinking about that is not normal and I would had experience some trauma because of it. normally she never gets angry she claimed but I Highly doubt that.
Jesus what a question will not watch to the end thanks anyway i am healing!!❤❤❤
Thank you Lise, that was really exactly what I needed to hear right now.
Your short video clips you put in your videos are oscar worthy
Mine is killing me slowly
get out Man . no matter how hard. there are better days ahead 🙏🏼
If you think you have a narcissist partner look for therapy regardless if you want to stay in it or let it go.
By therapy I mean self therapy, not couples therapy. Couples therapy with narcissist is unproductive.
Set a boundary.... the pain won't stop fully but they will move on to someone else once they realize you won't play their games
no one has a right to destroy you Bill, think of your health and your future
May God bless your efforts and knowledge. You're spreading awareness that saves lives.
Your videos are enlightening....I just wanted to say thank you.
Spot on Lise. Thanks
They are masters of creating the perfect outward image so after a break up dont expect anything less. Thats why you should stop looking at their socials if you still care about them. Nothing good will come of it.
Crazy , Ex of 9 years did everything video explained towards end. Started actually changing seemingly for better for us & then out of no where flipped out broke up. Week later already had hickeys & staying at a guys house playing step mom to his children. Saying he needs her & his children needs her she doesnt want to hurt them . She is going to do right by them. Even told my mom they were her step kids (She has 0 children) Told mutuals god blessed her & shes so happy , hasnt been this happy in years she feels so free… im like bullshit she’s fronting , had her mom & friends in on the whole move. Smearing my name crazy… Im like wow
I know the true her & even though we had our differences i was able to get to the core… She is unhappy & faking everything. I seen her & she looked depleted lying to herself to try to hurt me. Crazy watching somebody you love destroy themselves trying to hurt you. Love her cause i was genuine but im disappointed in her actions 😓
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Insightful and Eye-Opening!
Lisa LeBlanc's exploration of the covert narcissistic wife is both enlightening and deeply insightful. Her nuanced understanding of this complex personality type sheds light on behaviors that are often overlooked or misunderstood. LeBlanc masterfully delves into the subtle manipulations, emotional tactics, and the hidden dynamics that define a covert narcissistic relationship, making it accessible for anyone who has experienced or is currently dealing with such a situation.
What stands out most is her compassionate approach-LeBlanc offers practical advice and coping strategies, empowering readers to recognize these toxic patterns and take steps toward healing and reclaiming their sense of self. Her writing is clear, engaging, and supported by real-life examples that resonate deeply. Whether you’re new to the topic or have been dealing with it for some time, this book is a must-read. Highly recommended for anyone seeking to understand and navigate the challenges of living with a covert narcissistic partner.
I do feel so very free. Sad that I was so drained that I’ve had to literally crawl out of the sewer I thought was love. It’s been a year and I’m being myself, dating myself and enjoying it. Just wish I could make it so he does not enter my thoughts every day. But time will help!
i needed to hear this, thank you Lise.
Dear Lisa Thank you for your hard work to help us. Sense of relief and hope that you bring here to the world of abused man is so much helping. Understanding speed ups healing.
Thanks Lise! Hugs from Brazil.
Thank you Lise, I needed this today. It's been 6 months; I miss her so much, I'd take her back. I'm lucky she hasn't reached out and is with someone else (I think). I'm moving to another continent next week but I don't feel safe - if she reaches out I'm doomed. How am I still in love with a toxic mess? lol.
Peter, don't grieve for a ghost, someone who was only ever a figment of your imagination. You are still early in the trauma bond phase. Once your cognitive dissonance completely reconciles, meaning you are no longer struggling to determine whether or not the narcissist has a good side (you understand that the good side of a narcissist is nothing more than manipulation). Once you accept the fact that this is who and what they truly are, is the moment the trauma bond releases its power over you. Good luck Peter.
@@davidyardley512 😇
You're trauma bonded. This will pass in time. Stay No Contact if you want to heal from this toxic relationship
@@Bob-zh6dw Amen 👍🏼
True, all true, but The real true is that there is a trauma bound. And If it is the co-dependent who leave, after beeing leave many times, it might be even more dificult, because affection persist.
exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you!
Week after the break up shes with someone calls me to tell me and blocks me smh. She had to come pick up her dog at my house a week after and came with her new man. These ppl really deserve the worst
Yep mine after telling me she loves me and want to be exclusive in 3 weeks. Sex for 3 months then she had to stop till marriage. 3 months is to quick so I said I can see is possibly being married in the future, but I’m not ready yet. She agreed. We made it about 2 weeks after that and she text me saying she’s falling away from god and can’t handle a relationship right now, especially extra kids, since I had 2. 3 months later she’s with a new guy with kids. Feel bad for the guy I really do. But it gets easier every day especially since I can enjoy the skit instead of getting upset at it like I use to. I changed my whole look and I know I look good 😂 love yourself always
It's strange because this video is so informative however I also found myself finding things out that are in this video.
I called her out through a 43 page letter and she got together with someone STRAIGHT AWAY which makes me actually think she was already with him. Getting a new supply ready because she knew I was going to call her out.
When we split up, she had the nerve to say that I needed help. Sent me a picture of her and her new supply two months later through email saying "this is what true love is". I didn't open the picture. But I saw what I should have seen ages ago and that was that she was INTENTIONALLY hurting me throughout. Ghosting me for a couple of weeks whilst we were together. Telling me she was going on a date with someone else. Even that she had sex with someone else because I wasn't there. Telling people lies about me. Never ever mentioning her abuse. Her lies. Her cheating. And there was more stuff.
Again, in other comments I have written that I haven't seen her in ten months and she called me two weeks ago when she's not allowed to.
Can a narcissist be happy? On my letter I wrote about how I didn't believe what she said about her exes-for example, she'd got thrown out of a car by an ex, all of them cheated on her, another abused her....and so on. I wrote she was the common denominator so that surely she must realise that it's HER.
I used to wonder what she says about me? I don't care anymore because it would all be lies anyway.
Is my narcissistic ex happy? My answer.....
Who cares? Cut the ties and just get away.
Is anyone else dealing with a partner that says they love you one day and then are hurtful the next day over a small argument? My gf will lash out when she’s upset, and it gets to a point where if she will threaten to break up with me. If I refuse to listen to her breaking up with me she will say “Can we just end it please?”
There was this one time I did no contact for 5 days and she texted me 20 times in a row asking why I didn’t blow her, begged me to block her, said “Please just block me!!!” Repeatedly and called me over 50 times in a few hours.
This was a month ago, she’s still irritating and trying to break us up every other day.
Some back story on her, she was abandoned by her dad when she was younger. And she was in a 2-year relationship with an extremely abusive ex, and she was assaulted by an uncle.
She’s been through A LOT, and I honestly feel bad for her. I don’t stick around because I feel bad, it’s because I’ve seen what she’s like at her core. I just don’t want to give up on her you know? It’s hard because I do see a future but I just need her to get better and want to be better. She admitted she wanted therapy and even signed up for it but she hasn’t been scheduled just yet.
Bpd and probably a narcissist. I know what you mean when you see them at their core. That’s the most painful part you want to help them. That’s why we stay or stayed, because we are good people. If you don’t see a huge shift after therapy and she’s still throwing break ups in your face, I would eject ⏏️
If she is already older person like 30+ and hasnt sought help than I don't' think she is able to get any better, the thing is cos we are kind hearted and empaths we have weak boundaries and we let people like this keep on disrespecting us and at the end you are gonna get burned down, and god help if you guys get pregnant etc, soon you are going to be davalued and then discard, and hoover if they have a weaker supply she may come back to you for more and then same cycle happen until she finds someone better than you. Question are you gonna gamble with your precious time, is this even love that we all feel about our partners who are BPD or Narcissistic? or it just simply the case of our weak boundaries and kind heart?
@@sunnykhan5451 well said.
How long are you willing to wait until "she changes"? 5 years? 3 years? 6 months? Figure it out for yourself and give it a firm deadline. If no positive changes by then (one step forward two steps back is Not a sign of progress, it's a trap) move on with your life.
You assume her ex was abusive. He may very have not been abusive at all - she's just doing a smear campaign. These creatures lie about absolutely everything. Don't be surprised if she tells others that you are abusive. You should cut and run as soon as you can. Go full no contact. Nothing good will come from staying with her.
It's nice when your narc takes off with another guy, but then two weeks later you hear that she's been calling everyone she knows trying to come get her and bring her back home since she's stranded, out of money, and in a town she hates Nobody will go get her. When/if she gets back, I was also told that she's losing her awesome place and going to have to move into a really sucky situation besides. I'm not sure she's coming back though, because through my getting to know her she has been exposed. Her fantasy life has been found out to be fictitious.
It cycle and predictable. Same mistakes never learn
LoL I'm the horrible ex, Guilty! Please please remember my survival mode, I'll do it again if pushed...so I'm not worth hoovering .. I'm horrible... who's that over there!!!!
Thank you so much is all i can say for your videos
It officially means that he/she will now be someone else's problem. The narc will always do what narcs do best anyway. The new supply is bound to figure him/her out at some point.
Gosh, I hate that this is spot on, again..
Thank you for this video Lise. My narc ex was upset on Friday because I wouldn’t be back in town from my moms chemo treatment for childcare so she could spend the weekend with the new “supply.”
Great video everything she says in this video is very true 😂
Narcissist or not, why care or dwell on your ex being happy with their new partner? It's their business and they've moved on, so should you.
Yup! My ex. That's why she's my ex. Been single for over a year now.
Learning Brain 🧠 Without the narcissist’s…..Survival Brain 🧠 misery love Bombing 9:09
I don't even have a first partner yet, let alone an ex.
You're ahead of the game for sure.
Great information, thanks. This video made me feel better.