@simone3332 I got a lot out of this podcast! It makes sooo much sense to me to have a daily mindset protocol or routine juat like I have gym or skincare! I am super analytical so I need things numbered and spelled out lol. When you said "4 things" I had to go back and look them up 😂
I feel like you explained every single thing I've been doing to distract myself from developing a great relationship with myself. It is quite calming knowing it will get better.
I feel like I’m at church being called out for my sins. And I’m not even Christian. No guilt about God, just guilt about the way I haven’t been showing up for myself.
Seriously as a gay boy who struggles with confidence and always looks outward for love this episode had me understanding that i need to build my relationship with myself instead of chasing after someone who I have hurt and caused pain from my lack of taking care of my self. Growing up not knowing how to love myself is just deep trauma and people pleasing alllll the time, thanks to you I realized this has got to go and we need to be our own safe space. Words can’t describe how grateful I am to have watched and subscribed to you, thank you!!
This is what my soul needed. I’ve been single for 8 months & entertaining men I see no future with because being alone is scary for me but over the last almost month I’ve cut everybody off and I’ve been now working like a maniac instead of taking time for me. This was a divine message!
This episode is ABSOLUTE GOLD. I've been following you religiously since the fall of 2022 and you've helped me so much in my lowest times Elicia. I have the best relationship with myself now and I can't really imagine how I could've gotten to this point without all of your help and guidance. YOU ARE your brand you're living proof and truly my inspiration when I get stuck in my head. Journaling has changed my life thanks to you. I'm a different person and I really just want to thank you girl for everything that you do ❤
Girlll Im only at the 30 minute mark but I feel so MANY THINGS!! 😍MY OBSESSION WITH PERFECTION was because I was SCARED of my MOTHER-- like wowww! People pleasing led to so much heartbreaks but I course corrected like 8 years ago. Celibate 8 yrs and love it!👏 So Hearing you validate this makes me feel comforted, sad, so emotional😥, but Inspired AF! Im going to replay this Everyday like affirmations. Thank you beauty!!👏💖
The daily non-negotiable chapter really hit with me. So true about your personal beliefs and how if you aren’t connected with yourself, then it can become a negative outcome like spiraling thoughts. So freaking true.
Omg girl, the relationship between self care and overwhelming negative thoughts are SOOO REAL. When I do things for myself from day to night, I realize I have way less negative thoughts. Whereas vice versa, if I don’t I get more negative thoughts
I just turned 30 and started my total healing journey 8 years ago, and your tips, examples, theory, explanations, etc are spot on! It's pretty crazy that we have the same avoidant and anxious attachment styles for the same groups (friendships and relationships, respectively). I can't stress enough how spot on the entire video is. 🔥
My biggest struggle has been equating time to myself to isolation. It took me a long time to understand isolation can be a form of self harm too. Movement and nutrition have made a big difference for me also. And I know, at one point, I would have rolled my eyes if someone suggested exercising and eating well to feel better. But it does make a difference. I sleep better, I have more energy, I feel stronger and more confident.
Just had an extremely unexpected breakup with my first love , it happened out of no where and in such a disappointing way after 3.5 years. Although it’s been the worst pain of my life, I feel like I was reborn. I realized all these things about myself, that I have an anxious attachment style, all these different problems, and most importantly that because of my childhood and that relationship I never got to know who I am, I didn’t even know self love was a thing until I felt the need to get to know myself.
What hit hard was being able to go out into possibly triggering environments once you have checked in with yourself and feel safe. I needed to hear this because I have just been avoiding all spaces and people because I am scared I cant trust myself. When I really just need to be strengthening my relationship with me and doing the work and affirmations before I go somewhere.
It hurts me so badly 💔😭when people says to me you're too small and too tiny, I'm 29 years lady,I have a smallish body.. I'm trying my best and also praying for God to give me his grace to love, accept myself the way he made, and I pray he gives me a husband who also loves and cherish me genuinely 🥺✨✨🙏
God created you a certain way for a reason.. and what is a fault with being small? My ex husband was 6’6” and he always got the comments “you’re so tall”… or I always get comments “where are you from, I hear an accent”… I think when we don’t feel secure, we find fault in ourselves.. but the true story is .. people just see something and it’s different in their perspective.. so they comment. They don’t know how this comment will make someone feel, there is no blame in their comment. BUT .. our trigger is what creates that feeling of not being good enough. You are good enough for God, your creator and that’s all that matters. 😃😃😃
I have no words to describe how beautiful you are in this video. For some reason, the message you convey makes you radiant and omg you can’t imagine how grateful I am for you, for finding your channel and for following your content. This episode soothes me to another level as I am trying so hard to fight depression.
This is so beautiful of you to say.. wow 🥺🤍 thank you so much. I’m really so happy to hear that I’ve been able to help you along your journey, it’s such an honour 🤍
Currently struggling with my relationship with MYSELF, this video has helped me immensely to see what I need to change and commit to! I'm starting today and there is no turning back !
Using this as my morning mindset work🙈 this one was powerfullll and I think you’ve just explained why I haven’t been feeling “like myself” for the past 6 months after moving in with my boyfriend (as a recovering anxious attachment girly), thank you
Girl, do you have a way with words!! I discovered your platform fairly recently and yours quickly became one of my go-to podcasts whenever I’m out for a long walk. Love the content, I think it is ACTUALLY useful and relatable.
I felt so called out when not having non-negotiable beliefs. Cause literally last week i felt this man i like hated me because of a dumb message that had no bad intentions behind it. I needed that calling out, thank you!
17:05 this is a very powerful thought. And I feel like it could branch out into pretty much every other aspect of life if you think about it. It really makes you look at the bigger picture that we are machines that constantly need upkeep. And it’s exhausting if we don’t do it in sustainable and positive. This is got me looking into your podcast, daily of this pattern, even veganism. What am I doing every single day and what is it putting my life? And what is it putting into life? What am I eating consuming thinking every single day
I turned 29 this year. I also came to these same realizations at 28 going on 29 after my last relationship ended. I found myself stuck in a loop of anxious / avoidant relationships, I was anxious to the point of being physically ill. Meditation, being still, hearing God, saved me. I swear it's like a switch flipped. I was so scared of my mind/ thoughts and I could not be alone. Now my solitude is my sanctuary because I have made my mind my safe place but it took practice. So you are right. Every time I start to feel anxious again, I know it means that I am disconnected from myself and God and I have to go back to my self care routine.
“you leave yourself when you’re not being with yourself” that one hit hard and resonated with me so much - during a time i kept seeking a lot of external validation
1. Consistent healthy thoughts 2. Move your body 3. Eat as well as possible/self-care 4. Working towards a goal This will have your nervous system at rest! 😊❤
I’m so glad I came across this video randomly without realising I needed it. You give honest, constructive and clear advice which cuts straight through my bullshit. I’ve always wanted to address what’s going on inside but I often feeling confused and do too much at once so the cycles repeat, but your clarity has inspired me and taught me a lot. Thank you so much❤️
Listening to this coming out of a funk and finally cleaning my dusty apartment was alllllll I needed, your personal experiences and perspectives you share are so helpful and validating, thank you for being you ❤🩹
This was great. Im everyhting you mentioned. Anxiously attached to the point of obsession/desperation. Its disgusting and it stems from when a romantic partner steps out and deals with another female behind my back. It has happened in 2 relationships. This marriage my husband was recorded gridning on a bridesmaid while i was home with his kid. The humiliation. I cant even. So now i dont trust him intoxicated and i want to know everything he is doing and when. Its annoying but i cannot stop. The feeling of not being good enough him looking for better. I truly do not love myself and i dont feel like i am good enough and i never can figure out y.
I knew this was on my feed for a reason and i was NOT wrong. Happy to not being triggered by getting called out to filth anymore. I know i needed to hear this.
This video could not have been more relatable and helpful. I was locked in the whole time. Breaking down being your own safe space gave me peace of mind I'll be okay.
This is very well explained! I was very at peace for many years but I had a terrible breakdown after being in a toxic workplace for too long. Since then I’ve lost my fiancé and have been living alone for the past three years. I’ve been diagnosed with cptsd and find it hard to connect with others and I really struggle to regulate my nervous system now. Podcasts like this help
I've been working on myself and keeping myself stable and content for quite a while now. Very on and off though. "Conveniently" it becomes negligible when it clashes with a bigger wave of my past beliefs. Recently I had a really low point and I'm recovering from it by focusing on my goals, movement and eating habits. So what I've been missing in my journey up until now is the daily mindset reminder. You helped me realize that. And you probably will be the mindset reminder on some days. Thank you!
This episode really did got me out of my spiral in 1 hour! It’s amazing how direct and realistic you deliver things for us listeners to understand. I’ve been spiraling since last night and this truly changed my day (if not week) around. Thank you thank you thank you ❤
43:35 just needed to document this time stamp for myself, this is the first episode of yours I’ve watched but I can tell you really know what you’re talking about and I feel like you’re going to be a very helpful part of my healing journey 💗thank you so much for what you’re doing
Thank you so much for the sharing. It helps me to acknowledge that these feelings are valid and I am not alone. Sometimes people don't understand that these people as such are EXIST that they blame us for being like that. It is not something that we want and ask for it. I pray that we all may overcome this soon.
You hit it on the head with the period thing. I put myself on punishment and sit the hell down during that time for the most part. No hard decisions, no deep conversations, no extra expectations of myself.
just want to say this podcast episode literally changed my life. i discovered it two weeks ago and everything in my life has improved dramatically. things i have struggled with for years come so easily to me now. i finally love myself and am at peace. thank you 🙏🙏
Eating good and working out are a privilege. Many people with CPTSD, BPD, and Neurodivergence can't overcome this barrier. I think you should note this and say "if accessing some of these things are hard, work with what you got" de-shame the lack of access. It's not a moral failure, it's a material reality we didn't choose. Some people are starting at -100 when others are at 0 or 50.
Your video started well and took a dive when you got to the solutions aspect. You should recognize your immense privilege. It's not a problem it worked for you, it's a problem for shaming people who are struggling to exist. You turned things around with focusing attention to yourself. You also don't recognize harm reduction.
Final thoughts: I am a little peeved about a thing or two but overall you're doing a great job. I love to see you thrive. You're very on-point and a pioneer into a better future. I recommend getting some sensitivity training regarding people who have it worse than you. Keep up the good work!
100% agree. I stopped listening when she said “some people don’t have jobs” in a judging tone, then turned around and said “I understand because I took a leave of absence.” Um ok? My dad is on disability because of severe schizoaffective and other disorders. I would never show him your video if he was needing motivation because it would understandably make him feel worse for never being able to work. It’s disheartening to continuously search for mental health podcasts and find people who have a great understanding of their own growth but can’t extend that understanding or empathy to anyone outside of their scope of personal experience. Please recognize your privilege and do better.
Earlier this year it finally hit me, I was not getting the commitment I wanted from my partner because I was barely committing to myself. Since then I’ve been on a self-worth/ self-love journey trying to incorporate a lot of what you talked about. Thank you for laying all this out so well ♥️ This video has been incredibly helpful and I have a feeling I’ll come back to it again and again when I need a little reminder of this journey I am committed to! ✨
@@LA-cm9uo My partner broke it off with me last November. Thats part of what prompted some serious self-reflection. We took some space and time apart, but have been seeing each other regularly since April. It’s a long story and has been quite the journey. But I’m now at the point where I’m mostly focusing on my own life and feeling more self-fulfilled and taking more steps to achieve what I want. And I feel it reflected in that relationship, little by little. We will see what unfolds!
You just don’t even know what you did with my mind today!! i never needed this message more. I was mistreated and allowed it for months and now I’m out of it. I feel scared and unsafe. i don’t feel okay within myself. I immediately was searching for the next person to make this hurt go away. but I just can’t let this cycle happen anymore. I stopped working out, stopped journaling, stopped sleeping well all to conform to his lifestyle and his comforts. I let myself down. My anxious attachment reached new levels in this relationship and I’m sick with shock as to where this left me. I will learn and heal from this. I’m committed to not repeating this cycle again. I’m so grateful for this video. Thank you for this message! you just gained a new subscriber 💕
I’ve been struggling with anxious thoughts due to a traumatic event recently and it was a wake up call. I was just scrolling for something to watch while taking a bath before a nap 🤣 and came across this. Divine timing ❤️ the way you speak is so clear and appeals to the logical brain. Ive been stuck in a “victim” mindset and I related to a lot of what you spoke about. I also struggle with consistency and putting too much pressure on myself and have realized baby steps are really important. I tend to overdo then underdo but have made progress. You answered a lot of my questions as I thought of them. Thank you for sharing all your hard work. May you continue to be blessed 💗
Definitely needed to see this video! I got emotional towards the end, because I do need to start actually sitting with the anxiety rather than running from it. That helped sooo much. I am still working on not feeling guilty like I’m “doing something wrong” when I have an anxiety flare up. I put sooo much time, energy, and effort into healing that I think subconsciously I feel like I must not be doing something right if I still get anxious, so then I feel guilty about it. Once I learn to have grace for myself, holding space for myself will be a lot easier. I’d also like to add to the list of non-negotiables. I think having some sort of daily spiritual practice also helps. I’m not Christian or religious, but I am very spiritual and I’ve noticed that the times I feel the most attached to people (especially friends) is when I have slacked on my prayers and meditation, reading my Psalms, taking my spiritual baths, cleansing my space energetically not just physically etc. that’s when I cling too tightly to people. Anywho, this was a GREAT video and definitely super helpful and informative. Thank you!! ❤
i finally watched this video today and i needed the reminder. i recently felt my an ous attachment come up and instead of spiraling on the internet i just wrote about it. and ive also been saying when i get overly upset with someone’s actions i reflect and think is it really them or me. most times is me and because im lacking something within myself.
This episode truly touched my heart 🥹 I have already begun to implement the non negotiable practices you spoke about and I am starting to feel like my life is getting back on track and you helped me to realize that prioritizing taking care of myself is the most important thing I need to do in order to keep myself in a healthy, positive state of being 💯 I feel so blessed to have you as a resource to go to when I am needing that support in those hard times, thank you so much Elicia! ❤
Before starting the video I thought that it's an hour long if it gets boring then I will skip it, but damn I watched the whole thing in one go. All I can say is that it was therapeutic. This was my first time listening to her and it was so soothing and a demure reminder that what we are looking for is always in front of us it just takes a little courage to accept it because when you sit in shit for too long you can not smell it anymore.
omg i love how you approach all of this so analytically!! my first video of yours i stumbled upon and i'm so glad i found your channel/podcast. really needed this recently as i'm coming out of a slump after a traumatic event and learning to care for myself again so i can show up for myself and everyone i love
I just want you to know that I sent this to everyone I know including my grandma. English is not our first language but I noticed the captioning translation works well. Thank you for this video, my algorithm found it on the right day. I have my next appointment tomorrow and I really needed these insights to help me with myself and working towards myself
So grateful to find you, I somehow stumbled across this video and I listened from start to end. I felt so much resonating with me and you communicated in a way that really served me and I found this helpful. You are such an inspiration and like a big sis, even though to me you are younger, which just adds to the inspiration, thank you for sharing 💛
I have listened to 5-6 podcasts today about self improvement cause I haven't been happy about the way I've been living and thinking and just had this burst of energy to try and figure out how I can be better mentally, physically, and emotionally. And this video has to be the most realist thing I've ever heard in my 23 years of living, I believe this podcast episode outdid the others Iv'e listened to (not trying to compare) but I resonated to nearly EVERYTHING you've said, you spoke about things that I've been feeling/going through and I've never felt more seen til now.
Anxious attachment destroyed a long term (we’re talking 6 years) relationship of mine. Listening to this months after he finally broke it off with me is opening my eyes to what I have been unconsciously doing all this time, at my own (as well as his) expense. I’m happy to say I have been working hard on ME now, and taking care of MY goals and needs. I am so, so much happier already and doing better for my wellbeing and future. Thank you for the insights- everything so far are relieving but also a wake up call and a playbook! ❤ 😂
I’m 21 and I don’t drink or go out to parties because it’s just not my things. I notice what I tend to do is think my way out of feeling. Instead of allowing myself to feel. I end up trying to fix it and make it go away. Where is it coming from, why, how can I help myself? And that is great and all but I was truly avoiding my feelings. So now I handle my anxiety differently. And allow myself to observe and not absorb and simply surrender and except this is how I’m feeling. Instead of trying to change it. I accept it. And allow it. Then I feel closer to myself. Btw I’ve been working on myself for 3 years. Your video was very helpful and relatable. ❤❤
Thank you so much for this episode, really needed this. I have been more intentional about building a relationship with myself, it really feels good knowing that others also finds this important and I'm not crazy or in misalignment ❤
I saw your content about a year ago and was just not ready to hear it. Listening to this episode at the right time - I loved it so much. Normally I hate advice about routines and movement because I felt like I was being yelled at, but this I listened to ❤
Starting a new school year away from home and I am so incredibly scared of losing myself again and feel all type of negative emotions. I know it's going to be hard but I need to make it, I can't let myself spiral again, things must absolutely change. This video has been awesome to watch and listen to, thank you.
Hey, Queen, I'm 29 and definitely needed to hear and watch this video. I have my notepad out and an action plan. now I feel like I got one up on everybody else.😭🤣 Thank you, queen.
I found this process so difficult - verging on impossible - but I kept meditating (no matter what) because while I absolutely did not like DOING it, the benefits were evident, immediate and clear. Then one day it hit me - the whole “love yourself” concept had eluded me for all kinds of reasons I’d never “fix” until I loved myself = paradox BUT I could absolutely love the LIFE i had inside/outside/all around me. That was easy and could include all the things I didn’t like, wanted to change, wished were different. I could cherish the “me” that was struggling, flawed, even awful because all that was part of the life I was in live with. I sure hope this makes sense because it changed everything. Now I can click on these videos and enjoy them!
You are so incredible and intelligent, thank you for these inspiring amazing thoughts and words! I’m ready to continuously commit to building a solid relationship with myself & my emotions.
I really needed to hear this today... I started a journey 3 years ago to heal after a super toxic and abusive relationship. I went from the why aren't I good enoughs to the blame game to realizing my choices were what was holding me back... then I internalized the blame. Starting to see clearer after a very long period of self doubt... i.still have a long way to go however this is important stuff to remember when it gets tough What a blessing I came across this podcast Thank you for doing what you do ❤
Ughh I fw your podcast, I appreciate the tough love I feel like you’re my big sister thru the screen 😭 as the oldest in my family I needed to come across this. Will be tuning in more. 🫶🏾
This was 10/10. TEN OUT OF TEN! So helpful, spot on, and practical as hell. Thank you. From this I realized that trying to please the person who makes you feels unsafe WILL NOT make you feel safe in return. Wow! BIG MOMENT for me!
Thank you, this made me feel not so alone in my struggles. -‘d I’m going to take to heart that it’s important and OKAY to explore yourself. Maybe I like clubs, maybe I like coffee shops, if I’m scared or uncomfortable that’s a valid feeling that I’m welcome to observe rather than push down and ignore. I put myself second mentally and I ran away from all of my problems my entire life because I was hurt so badly as a kid and now I’m ready to start showing up for myself. So I want to say thank you so much for making this podcast. It helped me as I was cleaning my room and my space and mentally showing up for myself by being physically present for my own personal needs. Thank you for continuing to post these amazing videos. You’re amazing.
I’ve been obsessing lately about a crush on a guy who’s giving me mixed signals. The anxious overthinking about him made me not feel so great about myself. I Is avoiding listening to this video because I didn’t feel like being triggered. But instead of being triggered, I found some clarity about myself. Thanks for posting this video. It really helps someone like me who has anxiety anxious attachment.
I appreciate this video so much you have no idea. I’m going through a transformation right now and it requires isolation which I’m loving! Thank you for all tips and encouragement and knowledge🩵🤍🩵
I believe I was brought to you and specifically this podcast episode as my first time seeing you because it’s exactly what I needed. Thank you for your experience and your wisdom in explaining and sharing it 🥹🩵 Because of my experience and openness with sharing I feel like I am a voice of reason and authenticity among my friends but I have my days too. I’m glad to have found this podcast because I feel that I’ve found a person with authenticity and experience that speaks to me in a way that I can understand and relate to. Thank you so much🩵
You talked about finding someone that resonates with you so you actively change your mindset and do better for your life, and I’ve found the person. You! New subscriber ❤️ thank you so much. Genuinely.
this episode definitely started my week on a very high note. As an anxiously attached girly i struggle a lot with being my own safe space and this episode has given me just the tips i need to build a relationship with myself. thank you for the tips. I'm definitely camping here for sometime.
I really needed this. I have always depended on people's opinions about myself and making me feel validated. When in reality i need to rely on myself for that.
Girl you ate this 😭😭 "being with yourself doesn't mean being in your room alone isolated"
Somone once said, “You lose the right to complain when you are doing nothing to get out of the situation you are in.” ❤ you elicia
OUFFFFFF 🔥🔥🔥
@@theglowupsecretspodcast
Building a relationship with myself was the best thing I could've ever done. Peace is priceless girl 💕🩷
How did you started?
❤
@@jillarchi4920 💕
@@jillarchi4920 Love you 😘
Love, love, love 🧿💓🙏🏻
For reference, the four non-negotiables:
1. Daily mindset work (journalling, podcasts, etc.)
2. Daily movement
3. Self-care routines
4. Goal setting
Thank you ❤❤❤
@simone3332 I got a lot out of this podcast! It makes sooo much sense to me to have a daily mindset protocol or routine juat like I have gym or skincare! I am super analytical so I need things numbered and spelled out lol. When you said "4 things" I had to go back and look them up 😂
I feel like you explained every single thing I've been doing to distract myself from developing a great relationship with myself. It is quite calming knowing it will get better.
I feel like I’m at church being called out for my sins. And I’m not even Christian. No guilt about God, just guilt about the way I haven’t been showing up for myself.
I know right! As Lottie would say from The Princess and the Frog,
"I'm sweating like a sinner in church."
I understand
It's crazy how establishing these non-negotiables in your life calls out people and things that you never expected would need to go
Seriously as a gay boy who struggles with confidence and always looks outward for love this episode had me understanding that i need to build my relationship with myself instead of chasing after someone who I have hurt and caused pain from my lack of taking care of my self. Growing up not knowing how to love myself is just deep trauma and people pleasing alllll the time, thanks to you I realized this has got to go and we need to be our own safe space. Words can’t describe how grateful I am to have watched and subscribed to you, thank you!!
Yesyes 🙌🏼 You Are Precious and worthy of your own self created Safe Space 🫶🏽✨
This is what my soul needed. I’ve been single for 8 months & entertaining men I see no future with because being alone is scary for me but over the last almost month I’ve cut everybody off and I’ve been now working like a maniac instead of taking time for me. This was a divine message!
This episode is ABSOLUTE GOLD. I've been following you religiously since the fall of 2022 and you've helped me so much in my lowest times Elicia. I have the best relationship with myself now and I can't really imagine how I could've gotten to this point without all of your help and guidance. YOU ARE your brand you're living proof and truly my inspiration when I get stuck in my head. Journaling has changed my life thanks to you. I'm a different person and I really just want to thank you girl for everything that you do ❤
Elicia save a lot of us in ways maybe she could never now, she is just the big sis I need all this years.
I love u 🥺
This used to be me!! So consumed in other people and always wanting to please.. BUT I CHANGED!!
It is possible!! You got this💪
Girlll Im only at the 30 minute mark but I feel so MANY THINGS!! 😍MY OBSESSION WITH PERFECTION was because I was SCARED of my MOTHER-- like wowww! People pleasing led to so much heartbreaks but I course corrected like 8 years ago. Celibate 8 yrs and love it!👏 So Hearing you validate this makes me feel comforted, sad, so emotional😥, but Inspired AF! Im going to replay this Everyday like affirmations. Thank you beauty!!👏💖
The daily non-negotiable chapter really hit with me. So true about your personal beliefs and how if you aren’t connected with yourself, then it can become a negative outcome like spiraling thoughts. So freaking true.
Omg girl, the relationship between self care and overwhelming negative thoughts are SOOO REAL. When I do things for myself from day to night, I realize I have way less negative thoughts. Whereas vice versa, if I don’t I get more negative thoughts
I just turned 30 and started my total healing journey 8 years ago, and your tips, examples, theory, explanations, etc are spot on! It's pretty crazy that we have the same avoidant and anxious attachment styles for the same groups (friendships and relationships, respectively). I can't stress enough how spot on the entire video is. 🔥
My biggest struggle has been equating time to myself to isolation. It took me a long time to understand isolation can be a form of self harm too.
Movement and nutrition have made a big difference for me also. And I know, at one point, I would have rolled my eyes if someone suggested exercising and eating well to feel better.
But it does make a difference. I sleep better, I have more energy, I feel stronger and more confident.
Just had an extremely unexpected breakup with my first love , it happened out of no where and in such a disappointing way after 3.5 years. Although it’s been the worst pain of my life, I feel like I was reborn. I realized all these things about myself, that I have an anxious attachment style, all these different problems, and most importantly that because of my childhood and that relationship I never got to know who I am, I didn’t even know self love was a thing until I felt the need to get to know myself.
What hit hard was being able to go out into possibly triggering environments once you have checked in with yourself and feel safe. I needed to hear this because I have just been avoiding all spaces and people because I am scared I cant trust myself. When I really just need to be strengthening my relationship with me and doing the work and affirmations before I go somewhere.
It hurts me so badly 💔😭when people says to me you're too small and too tiny, I'm 29 years lady,I have a smallish body.. I'm trying my best and also praying for God to give me his grace to love, accept myself the way he made, and I pray he gives me a husband who also loves and cherish me genuinely 🥺✨✨🙏
God created you a certain way for a reason.. and what is a fault with being small? My ex husband was 6’6” and he always got the comments “you’re so tall”… or I always get comments “where are you from, I hear an accent”… I think when we don’t feel secure, we find fault in ourselves.. but the true story is .. people just see something and it’s different in their perspective.. so they comment. They don’t know how this comment will make someone feel, there is no blame in their comment. BUT .. our trigger is what creates that feeling of not being good enough. You are good enough for God, your creator and that’s all that matters. 😃😃😃
@@MoonHutMusic smile 😊 thank you so very much ma'am 🙏
It's amazing for a woman ❤😊
People will always have something to say, you are beautiful just the way you are.
I have no words to describe how beautiful you are in this video. For some reason, the message you convey makes you radiant and omg you can’t imagine how grateful I am for you, for finding your channel and for following your content. This episode soothes me to another level as I am trying so hard to fight depression.
This is so beautiful of you to say.. wow 🥺🤍 thank you so much. I’m really so happy to hear that I’ve been able to help you along your journey, it’s such an honour 🤍
Currently struggling with my relationship with MYSELF, this video has helped me immensely to see what I need to change and commit to! I'm starting today and there is no turning back !
I’m so proud of YOU 🥹☺️
@@theglowupsecretspodcast OMG QUEEN ILY! Thank you always for your guidance!☺️💗
Using this as my morning mindset work🙈 this one was powerfullll and I think you’ve just explained why I haven’t been feeling “like myself” for the past 6 months after moving in with my boyfriend (as a recovering anxious attachment girly), thank you
Girl, do you have a way with words!! I discovered your platform fairly recently and yours quickly became one of my go-to podcasts whenever I’m out for a long walk.
Love the content, I think it is ACTUALLY useful and relatable.
I felt so called out when not having non-negotiable beliefs. Cause literally last week i felt this man i like hated me because of a dumb message that had no bad intentions behind it. I needed that calling out, thank you!
17:05 this is a very powerful thought. And I feel like it could branch out into pretty much every other aspect of life if you think about it. It really makes you look at the bigger picture that we are machines that constantly need upkeep. And it’s exhausting if we don’t do it in sustainable and positive. This is got me looking into your podcast, daily of this pattern, even veganism. What am I doing every single day and what is it putting my life? And what is it putting into life? What am I eating consuming thinking every single day
Why this is crazy you actually spoke to me in so many languages
As an anxious attachment girly who is recovering, this was a gem to listen to. thank you so much Elicia!
I turned 29 this year. I also came to these same realizations at 28 going on 29 after my last relationship ended. I found myself stuck in a loop of anxious / avoidant relationships, I was anxious to the point of being physically ill. Meditation, being still, hearing God, saved me. I swear it's like a switch flipped. I was so scared of my mind/ thoughts and I could not be alone. Now my solitude is my sanctuary because I have made my mind my safe place but it took practice. So you are right. Every time I start to feel anxious again, I know it means that I am disconnected from myself and God and I have to go back to my self care routine.
So beautiful 🙏🏼
“you leave yourself when you’re not being with yourself” that one hit hard and resonated with me so much - during a time i kept seeking a lot of external validation
1. Consistent healthy thoughts
2. Move your body
3. Eat as well as possible/self-care
4. Working towards a goal
This will have your nervous system at rest! 😊❤
This video came to me as I’m dealing with a horrible break up as of two days ago. I’m so scared but thank you for this video
42:16 such a huge missing piece for me. I love what you said about allowing yourself to feel and not try to fix it
I’m so glad I came across this video randomly without realising I needed it. You give honest, constructive and clear advice which cuts straight through my bullshit. I’ve always wanted to address what’s going on inside but I often feeling confused and do too much at once so the cycles repeat, but your clarity has inspired me and taught me a lot. Thank you so much❤️
Listening to this coming out of a funk and finally cleaning my dusty apartment was alllllll I needed, your personal experiences and perspectives you share are so helpful and validating, thank you for being you ❤🩹
This was great. Im everyhting you mentioned. Anxiously attached to the point of obsession/desperation. Its disgusting and it stems from when a romantic partner steps out and deals with another female behind my back. It has happened in 2 relationships. This marriage my husband was recorded gridning on a bridesmaid while i was home with his kid. The humiliation. I cant even. So now i dont trust him intoxicated and i want to know everything he is doing and when. Its annoying but i cannot stop. The feeling of not being good enough him looking for better. I truly do not love myself and i dont feel like i am good enough and i never can figure out y.
I knew this was on my feed for a reason and i was NOT wrong. Happy to not being triggered by getting called out to filth anymore. I know i needed to hear this.
This video could not have been more relatable and helpful. I was locked in the whole time. Breaking down being your own safe space gave me peace of mind I'll be okay.
This is very well explained! I was very at peace for many years but I had a terrible breakdown after being in a toxic workplace for too long. Since then I’ve lost my fiancé and have been living alone for the past three years. I’ve been diagnosed with cptsd and find it hard to connect with others and I really struggle to regulate my nervous system now. Podcasts like this help
I've been working on myself and keeping myself stable and content for quite a while now. Very on and off though. "Conveniently" it becomes negligible when it clashes with a bigger wave of my past beliefs.
Recently I had a really low point and I'm recovering from it by focusing on my goals, movement and eating habits. So what I've been missing in my journey up until now is the daily mindset reminder. You helped me realize that. And you probably will be the mindset reminder on some days.
Thank you!
19:20 and im screaming. ive been called out! im listening !!
Mindset growth should be an endless journey. When we stop it's harder to reach our goals.
I'm in my 40's and for a young lady to be speaking with such wisdom. Keep up the good work ❤
Thank you so much 🥰
This episode really did got me out of my spiral in 1 hour! It’s amazing how direct and realistic you deliver things for us listeners to understand. I’ve been spiraling since last night and this truly changed my day (if not week) around. Thank you thank you thank you ❤
"You are never going to find safety in something that triggered you into feeling unsafe"
You're one of the only podcasts that i can watch the whole way through.Love your delivery
43:35 just needed to document this time stamp for myself, this is the first episode of yours I’ve watched but I can tell you really know what you’re talking about and I feel like you’re going to be a very helpful part of my healing journey 💗thank you so much for what you’re doing
Thank you so much for the sharing. It helps me to acknowledge that these feelings are valid and I am not alone. Sometimes people don't understand that these people as such are EXIST that they blame us for being like that. It is not something that we want and ask for it. I pray that we all may overcome this soon.
This podcast saved us years of research. This podcast is a research resource. Thank you ❤
You are so welcome 💛
This is the season I’m in right now, this came at the perfect time! Thank you so much Elicia 🙏🏼✨
Girl, thankyou. I find these videos resonating with me so much, and i feel like ive found a gold mine in your youtube channel. ILY ❤
Dropping gems! Literally the big sister I never had🫶🏽
You hit it on the head with the period thing. I put myself on punishment and sit the hell down during that time for the most part. No hard decisions, no deep conversations, no extra expectations of myself.
This is genuinely some of the best advice I’ve ever heard online. Thank u sm for this
just want to say this podcast episode literally changed my life. i discovered it two weeks ago and everything in my life has improved dramatically. things i have struggled with for years come so easily to me now. i finally love myself and am at peace. thank you 🙏🙏
Eating good and working out are a privilege. Many people with CPTSD, BPD, and Neurodivergence can't overcome this barrier. I think you should note this and say "if accessing some of these things are hard, work with what you got" de-shame the lack of access. It's not a moral failure, it's a material reality we didn't choose. Some people are starting at -100 when others are at 0 or 50.
Your video started well and took a dive when you got to the solutions aspect. You should recognize your immense privilege. It's not a problem it worked for you, it's a problem for shaming people who are struggling to exist. You turned things around with focusing attention to yourself. You also don't recognize harm reduction.
Final thoughts: I am a little peeved about a thing or two but overall you're doing a great job. I love to see you thrive. You're very on-point and a pioneer into a better future. I recommend getting some sensitivity training regarding people who have it worse than you. Keep up the good work!
100% agree. I stopped listening when she said “some people don’t have jobs” in a judging tone, then turned around and said “I understand because I took a leave of absence.” Um ok? My dad is on disability because of severe schizoaffective and other disorders. I would never show him your video if he was needing motivation because it would understandably make him feel worse for never being able to work. It’s disheartening to continuously search for mental health podcasts and find people who have a great understanding of their own growth but can’t extend that understanding or empathy to anyone outside of their scope of personal experience. Please recognize your privilege and do better.
I have this video on repeat! This message is for me today!!
I’m so so glad ☺️
Earlier this year it finally hit me, I was not getting the commitment I wanted from my partner because I was barely committing to myself. Since then I’ve been on a self-worth/ self-love journey trying to incorporate a lot of what you talked about. Thank you for laying all this out so well ♥️ This video has been incredibly helpful and I have a feeling I’ll come back to it again and again when I need a little reminder of this journey I am committed to! ✨
Also, I’m a Scorpio too 🦂✨
That's awesome. How has your partner reacted so far to your journey?
@@LA-cm9uo My partner broke it off with me last November. Thats part of what prompted some serious self-reflection. We took some space and time apart, but have been seeing each other regularly since April. It’s a long story and has been quite the journey. But I’m now at the point where I’m mostly focusing on my own life and feeling more self-fulfilled and taking more steps to achieve what I want. And I feel it reflected in that relationship, little by little. We will see what unfolds!
Saving this for tomorrow’s hot girl walk in the evening ❤️
Ily ☺️😍
so happy i came across you & this episode. just what i needed in this season. i’m in week 2 of getting back into gym/journaling/reading routine
You just don’t even know what you did with my mind today!! i never needed this message more. I was mistreated and allowed it for months and now I’m out of it. I feel scared and unsafe. i don’t feel okay within myself. I immediately was searching for the next person to make this hurt go away. but I just can’t let this cycle happen anymore. I stopped working out, stopped journaling, stopped sleeping well all to conform to his lifestyle and his comforts. I let myself down. My anxious attachment reached new levels in this relationship and I’m sick with shock as to where this left me. I will learn and heal from this. I’m committed to not repeating this cycle again. I’m so grateful for this video. Thank you for this message! you just gained a new subscriber 💕
I’ve been struggling with anxious thoughts due to a traumatic event recently and it was a wake up call. I was just scrolling for something to watch while taking a bath before a nap 🤣 and came across this. Divine timing ❤️ the way you speak is so clear and appeals to the logical brain. Ive been stuck in a “victim” mindset and I related to a lot of what you spoke about. I also struggle with consistency and putting too much pressure on myself and have realized baby steps are really important. I tend to overdo then underdo but have made progress. You answered a lot of my questions as I thought of them. Thank you for sharing all your hard work. May you continue to be blessed 💗
Definitely needed to see this video! I got emotional towards the end, because I do need to start actually sitting with the anxiety rather than running from it. That helped sooo much. I am still working on not feeling guilty like I’m “doing something wrong” when I have an anxiety flare up. I put sooo much time, energy, and effort into healing that I think subconsciously I feel like I must not be doing something right if I still get anxious, so then I feel guilty about it. Once I learn to have grace for myself, holding space for myself will be a lot easier. I’d also like to add to the list of non-negotiables. I think having some sort of daily spiritual practice also helps. I’m not Christian or religious, but I am very spiritual and I’ve noticed that the times I feel the most attached to people (especially friends) is when I have slacked on my prayers and meditation, reading my Psalms, taking my spiritual baths, cleansing my space energetically not just physically etc. that’s when I cling too tightly to people. Anywho, this was a GREAT video and definitely super helpful and informative. Thank you!! ❤
i finally watched this video today and i needed the reminder. i recently felt my an ous attachment come up and instead of spiraling on the internet i just wrote about it. and ive also been saying when i get overly upset with someone’s actions i reflect and think is it really them or me. most times is me and because im lacking something within myself.
This episode truly touched my heart 🥹
I have already begun to implement the non negotiable practices you spoke about and I am starting to feel like my life is getting back on track and you helped me to realize that prioritizing taking care of myself is the most important thing I need to do in order to keep myself in a healthy, positive state of being 💯
I feel so blessed to have you as a resource to go to when I am needing that support in those hard times, thank you so much Elicia! ❤
this has really open my eyes this is greatly greatly appreciated
This episode has easily become my favorite ❤
Omg I’m really happy to hear this 😌
Before starting the video I thought that it's an hour long if it gets boring then I will skip it, but damn I watched the whole thing in one go. All I can say is that it was therapeutic. This was my first time listening to her and it was so soothing and a demure reminder that what we are looking for is always in front of us it just takes a little courage to accept it because when you sit in shit for too long you can not smell it anymore.
omg i love how you approach all of this so analytically!! my first video of yours i stumbled upon and i'm so glad i found your channel/podcast. really needed this recently as i'm coming out of a slump after a traumatic event and learning to care for myself again so i can show up for myself and everyone i love
What a great video. I’m 45 and still trying to get it together. Thank you ❤ Your makeup is gorgeous!
Ahh!! Thank you so so much 🥹🥰
the way I needed to hear EVERYTHING you said in this episode!!! THANK YOU❤
36:26 “a flavor of life in which i like to move and be.”
I just want you to know that I sent this to everyone I know including my grandma. English is not our first language but I noticed the captioning translation works well. Thank you for this video, my algorithm found it on the right day. I have my next appointment tomorrow and I really needed these insights to help me with myself and working towards myself
So grateful to find you, I somehow stumbled across this video and I listened from start to end. I felt so much resonating with me and you communicated in a way that really served me and I found this helpful. You are such an inspiration and like a big sis, even though to me you are younger, which just adds to the inspiration, thank you for sharing 💛
I have listened to 5-6 podcasts today about self improvement cause I haven't been happy about the way I've been living and thinking and just had this burst of energy to try and figure out how I can be better mentally, physically, and emotionally. And this video has to be the most realist thing I've ever heard in my 23 years of living, I believe this podcast episode outdid the others Iv'e listened to (not trying to compare) but I resonated to nearly EVERYTHING you've said, you spoke about things that I've been feeling/going through and I've never felt more seen til now.
Anxious attachment destroyed a long term (we’re talking 6 years) relationship of mine. Listening to this months after he finally broke it off with me is opening my eyes to what I have been unconsciously doing all this time, at my own (as well as his) expense. I’m happy to say I have been working hard on ME now, and taking care of MY goals and needs. I am so, so much happier already and doing better for my wellbeing and future.
Thank you for the insights- everything so far are relieving but also a wake up call and a playbook! ❤ 😂
I’m 21 and I don’t drink or go out to parties because it’s just not my things. I notice what I tend to do is think my way out of feeling. Instead of allowing myself to feel. I end up trying to fix it and make it go away. Where is it coming from, why, how can I help myself? And that is great and all but I was truly avoiding my feelings. So now I handle my anxiety differently. And allow myself to observe and not absorb and simply surrender and except this is how I’m feeling. Instead of trying to change it. I accept it. And allow it. Then I feel closer to myself. Btw I’ve been working on myself for 3 years. Your video was very helpful and relatable. ❤❤
Thank you so much for this episode, really needed this. I have been more intentional about building a relationship with myself, it really feels good knowing that others also finds this important and I'm not crazy or in misalignment ❤
10:00 11:30 14:25 41:00 45:00 51:00
🙏Thank you for reminding i've reallly needed to here these
I saw your content about a year ago and was just not ready to hear it. Listening to this episode at the right time - I loved it so much. Normally I hate advice about routines and movement because I felt like I was being yelled at, but this I listened to ❤
I received this message for myself ❤
Starting a new school year away from home and I am so incredibly scared of losing myself again and feel all type of negative emotions. I know it's going to be hard but I need to make it, I can't let myself spiral again, things must absolutely change. This video has been awesome to watch and listen to, thank you.
Hey, Queen, I'm 29 and definitely needed to hear and watch this video. I have my notepad out and an action plan. now I feel like I got one up on everybody else.😭🤣 Thank you, queen.
I found this process so difficult - verging on impossible - but I kept meditating (no matter what) because while I absolutely did not like DOING it, the benefits were evident, immediate and clear. Then one day it hit me - the whole “love yourself” concept had eluded me for all kinds of reasons I’d never “fix” until I loved myself = paradox BUT I could absolutely love the LIFE i had inside/outside/all around me. That was easy and could include all the things I didn’t like, wanted to change, wished were different. I could cherish the “me” that was struggling, flawed, even awful because all that was part of the life I was in live with.
I sure hope this makes sense because it changed everything. Now I can click on these videos and enjoy them!
You are so incredible and intelligent, thank you for these inspiring amazing thoughts and words! I’m ready to continuously commit to building a solid relationship with myself & my emotions.
Girl this was super inspirational and motivational. Thankyou for dropping all of them gems.
I really needed to hear this today...
I started a journey 3 years ago to heal after a super toxic and abusive relationship. I went from the why aren't I good enoughs to the blame game to realizing my choices were what was holding me back... then I internalized the blame.
Starting to see clearer after a very long period of self doubt... i.still have a long way to go however this is important stuff to remember when it gets tough
What a blessing I came across this podcast
Thank you for doing what you do
❤
Ughh I fw your podcast, I appreciate the tough love I feel like you’re my big sister thru the screen 😭 as the oldest in my family I needed to come across this. Will be tuning in more. 🫶🏾
This wisdom is such a blessing. Thank you for sharing and God bless you!🤍🕊🔥😊🦋🎁
This episode really helped me and shifted my mindset ❤ I thank god for using you to reach me . Sending love 😊
This was 10/10. TEN OUT OF TEN! So helpful, spot on, and practical as hell. Thank you. From this I realized that trying to please the person who makes you feels unsafe WILL NOT make you feel safe in return. Wow! BIG MOMENT for me!
Thank you, this made me feel not so alone in my struggles. -‘d I’m going to take to heart that it’s important and OKAY to explore yourself. Maybe I like clubs, maybe I like coffee shops, if I’m scared or uncomfortable that’s a valid feeling that I’m welcome to observe rather than push down and ignore. I put myself second mentally and I ran away from all of my problems my entire life because I was hurt so badly as a kid and now I’m ready to start showing up for myself.
So I want to say thank you so much for making this podcast. It helped me as I was cleaning my room and my space and mentally showing up for myself by being physically present for my own personal needs. Thank you for continuing to post these amazing videos. You’re amazing.
I’ve been obsessing lately about a crush on a guy who’s giving me mixed signals. The anxious overthinking about him made me not feel so great about myself. I Is avoiding listening to this video because I didn’t feel like being triggered. But instead of being triggered, I found some clarity about myself. Thanks for posting this video. It really helps someone like me who has anxiety anxious attachment.
you’re so real bruh, i love you
I appreciate this video so much you have no idea. I’m going through a transformation right now and it requires isolation which I’m loving! Thank you for all tips and encouragement and knowledge🩵🤍🩵
This video popped and I am exactly what you said, so i was thinking about doing more self love practices and this was the push i needed
I believe I was brought to you and specifically this podcast episode as my first time seeing you because it’s exactly what I needed. Thank you for your experience and your wisdom in explaining and sharing it 🥹🩵
Because of my experience and openness with sharing I feel like I am a voice of reason and authenticity among my friends but I have my days too. I’m glad to have found this podcast because I feel that I’ve found a person with authenticity and experience that speaks to me in a way that I can understand and relate to. Thank you so much🩵
You talked about finding someone that resonates with you so you actively change your mindset and do better for your life, and I’ve found the person. You! New subscriber ❤️ thank you so much. Genuinely.
this episode definitely started my week on a very high note. As an anxiously attached girly i struggle a lot with being my own safe space and this episode has given me just the tips i need to build a relationship with myself. thank you for the tips. I'm definitely camping here for sometime.
Really feels so relatable to listen to you and your experience and tips have provided me more confidence in my choices now, thank you 💖
I really needed this. I have always depended on people's opinions about myself and making me feel validated. When in reality i need to rely on myself for that.