Unleash the Mom Guilt | Tiffany N. Stallings | TEDxWilmingtonLive

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  • Опубліковано 13 чер 2018
  • Motherhood comes with many moments of joy and happiness. However, sometimes Moms feel like they haven't quite done enough. Educator and author Tiffany Stallings describes strategies that busy Moms can use to let go of the "Mom guilt" that they often feel.
    Tiffany Stallings is the Amazon best-selling author of, “Mommy Works Too Much”, and “The Bounce Back Mindset: How to Bounce Back When Life Has Screwed You”.
    Tiffany has served as the founding partner of a New Jersey-based education consulting firm. Over the years, Tiffany taught at the elementary, high school, and collegiate level. Currently, Tiffany serves as a high school administrator.
    Tiffany is a mother of three, and enjoys running and cycling. She takes pride in being a firm back of the pack half marathoner, perpetual beginner road cyclist, and triathlete.
    She is currently working on her next children’s book. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

КОМЕНТАРІ • 68

  • @mintbutterfly10
    @mintbutterfly10 3 роки тому +13

    I'm a stay at home mom and I have dehabilitating mom-guilt. I'm shy and don't have any friends, so I dont have friends with kids... so my daughter doesn't have friends either. It SUCKS.

  • @aaden5823
    @aaden5823 2 роки тому +26

    What about the mom guilt for those of us who wasted precious time with their kids? You all bettered yourselves. I worked a lot, yeah. But then I was so depressed about the hours working, being single, everything, that instead of enjoying the little time I had with them, I drank or slept & wasted it. My mom got the memories with my kids that I should've had. For some of us, the mom guilt just isn't forgivable, no matter how much we've changed. (Changing actually made it harder cuz I had to face myself.)
    A sincere congrats to the moms who are strong enough to forgive themselves. 💪💞 That is NOT an easy feat.

    • @brianna3239
      @brianna3239 2 роки тому +8

      Dearest Angela, Your comment is so raw and relatable. I love how you admitted the drinking and doing anything to overcome the stress. I myself have been in the same boat and feel I have wasted some of my time trying to self medicate. I hated not being able to be with my son. Every second of it made me depressed. It is so true that changing forces you to take a harder look at yourself. I have found that I could only do this part with God. To think I could do it alone, Is why I went downhill

    • @Missjeddy
      @Missjeddy 2 роки тому +1

      I am currently experiencing mum guilt and it's just crazily overwhelming. My daughter is still 9 months old but I still feel it. It is a big challenge

  • @lauriesstory5894
    @lauriesstory5894 3 роки тому +36

    I felt this in my soul!!!
    I had my son at 19 and I worked full time and went to school full time. I saw him for about 20 minutes or sometimes not at all because when I got him he was asleep in his crib. My mom guilt was unreal. I’m a single mom and leaned on my family to care for him while I tried to build myself. Now I have a bachelors degree, I’m getting my masters degree, and now I work at home and have compromised and made time for my son. I love this speech.

  • @iCeleste7
    @iCeleste7 2 роки тому +33

    I have major mom guilt when I take a nap while my kids are playing in the other room. It’s unfair how men don’t feel guilty when they go out or do things for themselves. Women take all the burden. It’s called *mom* guilt, not dad guilt for a reason.

  • @tatianatiredmomandbeauty
    @tatianatiredmomandbeauty 3 роки тому +44

    OMG! I have deeeep mommy issues and the mommy guilt is really bad with me, almost debilitating at times. This TED talk inspired me, I want to help other moms unleash the mom guilt. Let's do it together!

    • @Bloom2Grow
      @Bloom2Grow 3 роки тому +1

      Me too!! I need the help and encouragement

    • @iCeleste7
      @iCeleste7 2 роки тому +1

      Amen, friend.

    • @tanw.5149
      @tanw.5149 Рік тому

      ❤️🤗 sending you love, me too. Let's change our mindset ❤️🤗

  • @izeth07
    @izeth07 2 роки тому +4

    Yes!! Comparison is a thief of joy! Which is one reason why I have no social media! I noticed I was comparing myself to others & when others had problems in their relationships I was like what is my problem in my relationship? Even if I wasn’t having a problem at that moment. I haven’t had social media for almost 9 years now.

  • @nickelrok1441
    @nickelrok1441 4 роки тому +31

    This is just what I needed to hear today. Struggling with so much guilt and tears daily lately and these words hit down to my soul

  • @allisonsanford5882
    @allisonsanford5882 4 роки тому +14

    Cried so much! This is so true. I am now working full time again and my daughter is 7 months old. And even a girl at work says " my gosh I would never allow someone else to raise my child while I work on don't know how you do it " . I am not going to feel guilty. When I am present my daughter has all of my attention. And she loves me and she will learn responsibility and thrive because of me!
    Shout out to my daughter Rose! Mama loves you

    • @iCeleste7
      @iCeleste7 2 роки тому +1

      You’re a wonderful mom. Rose is lucky to have you!

  • @tinamichelle6969
    @tinamichelle6969 4 роки тому +17

    My children are all grown and I'm still dealing with mom guilt. I told God that I'm releasing my children to you and I'm going on and enjoy my life and do the things I didn't get to do while I was raising them.

  • @toanotherplace
    @toanotherplace 5 років тому +15

    0:03 I'm already crying

  • @brittyh428
    @brittyh428 3 роки тому +12

    I am struggling......with everything, especially guilt. I work in a dealership where I'm a department head. If you're familiar with the industry, we're always open. I'm always working with the goal of opening my own insurance agency for my kids. My husband works from home due the pandemic. He helps with the schooling, emotional support, etc. He pats himself on the back constantly and it eats at me. I feel like I should be home and he should be working the long hours. This video was a great reference but I know I need more work. Blessings.

    • @andreea.andreea
      @andreea.andreea 2 роки тому +1

      You are a hero Brittney, a hero of the real world !

  • @BingoBilingual
    @BingoBilingual Рік тому +1

    This is so powerful! I don't have any children, but I believe this also applies to all roles you can possibly think of, fathers, sons, daughters, partners, you name it. Thanks for sharing!

  • @clairecognizant6615
    @clairecognizant6615 4 роки тому +26

    The moms who should feel guilt, don't and vice versa.

    • @a.healthbeauty9173
      @a.healthbeauty9173 3 роки тому +6

      This comment made me cry. I'm so hard on myself. I'm always doing the best I can. I love my baby more than anything. It's hard.

    • @oakenadams3844
      @oakenadams3844 2 роки тому +2

      Wowww yes. It's true

  • @brianajoe7637
    @brianajoe7637 2 роки тому +2

    The guilt runs so deep for me. I went out WITH my son to a family Halloween party and my 2 year old son is the only child. He stayed in a room to watch TV the whole party instead of playing with his cousins because well I work so hard , I don’t take him on play dates. I don’t get him out much, I felt so horrible. Kept going to the room to check on him. Even tried to get him to play with them, he just wanted to watch “ word party “ on Netflix. I couldn’t even sleep last night. I needed to hear this.

  • @sie5221
    @sie5221 4 роки тому +6

    "...for they love you just the way you are" I'm crying :'( xxxxxxxx

  • @whitetyger06
    @whitetyger06 3 роки тому +9

    Thank you Tiffany, I go back to work Monday and this helped me feel better about the whole situation. From one mama to another, much love

  • @AminaSCarter
    @AminaSCarter 6 років тому +9

    Tiffany!!!! Most all working mothers, especially womenpreneurs, can relate to this message. So many powerful messages. Great delivery! So incredibly proud to see you creating your dreams and encouraging women to do the same. Keep soaring.

  • @rebekah3380
    @rebekah3380 3 роки тому +3

    Crying rn😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is perfect! Thank you for inspiring me and motivating me today! I have been going through a world of struggles!
    Sincerely, your STAHM of 3 💕

  • @carmenmontenegro-sis1046
    @carmenmontenegro-sis1046 3 роки тому +3

    Loved this she dropped the mic! Moms are so valuable! We wear so many hats and are the glue in the home.

  • @andreea.andreea
    @andreea.andreea 2 роки тому +1

    You can tell this speech is a true out of heart one . Thank you Tiffany unleashing such a good mom energy! 👏

  • @traumanewell1333
    @traumanewell1333 6 років тому +5

    Great Speak Tiffany, We as mom's can definitely relate to your message about feeling guilty working and raising a family. You're such an inspiration to many mom's that are on their grind, working hard and making it happen. Much success to you, God Bless! 😊💗

  • @nicolechristmas9132
    @nicolechristmas9132 Рік тому +6

    To the single bipolar mom that couldn't handle raising her kids all on her own* release the mom guilt ♥️ (talking to myself and my tears 😭)

  • @o____4448
    @o____4448 3 роки тому +1

    It took a lot of holding back not to cry

  • @priscillaharper65
    @priscillaharper65 2 роки тому

    By the end, I was crying. This woman is amazing.

  • @iamnoone826
    @iamnoone826 Рік тому +3

    I feel guilty that my kids see me fall apart everyday. I feel guilty that I’m not strong enough to fight my depression and my suicidal thoughts. I feel guilty I almost killed myself and my daughter while pregnant
    I will never forgive myself. I feel guilty when I’m disciplining my kids I feel like a monster
    I feel guilty because their father isn’t being a father I feel like it’s my fault I picked him
    I feel guilty I don’t have a better a job
    I feel guilty we don’t have a better home
    I feel guilty I couldn’t breastfeed them
    I feel guilty I couldn’t get them new clothes for winter because I didn’t have a job due to having no one to watch them
    I feel guilty when I lock myself in the bathroom so I can cry it out
    I feel guilty when my son has to clean my tears and tell me everything is going to be ok that’s not his job
    I feel guilty I’m like this
    The list can go on and on my depression feeds my mom guilt and my mom
    Guilt feeds my depression
    So so so so tired

    • @mihwa1541
      @mihwa1541 Рік тому +1

      I am so sad to hear your story… but sounds like you are one of the good moms, sounds like you love your kids and kids know that for sure. Depression is hard to deal with already… take care❤❤❤

    • @iamnoone826
      @iamnoone826 Рік тому +1

      @@mihwa1541 thank you very much I appreciate your kind words

  • @viviancastillanes1576
    @viviancastillanes1576 2 роки тому

    I enjoyed your Ted talk. I am a mother too. It's hard being a mother. It felt so easy, second nature. But the older they get the tougher it becomes.

  • @AmenJenn
    @AmenJenn 3 роки тому +1

    Wow I really enjoyed this Ted talk. I love the honesty and the real ness. Thank you.

  • @kaylan3356
    @kaylan3356 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you! Really needed this message today. You are a blessing!

  • @ameenahpoole9086
    @ameenahpoole9086 5 років тому +2

    This resonates w/me in so many ways. Thanks for sharing your truth & for the inspiration. Whoo-sah we got this!

  • @rasheedahcanty9835
    @rasheedahcanty9835 6 років тому +2

    Wow. Much needed message.

  • @farzanarahman3858
    @farzanarahman3858 2 роки тому

    The quivers from her voice makes me wanna hug her so bad

  • @mrs_tabares3496
    @mrs_tabares3496 3 роки тому +1

    Love this!!! Thank you💖💖💖

  • @HoldOnNow23
    @HoldOnNow23 6 років тому +3

    Great Job Tiffany!!

  • @Qnhik
    @Qnhik 5 років тому +1

    simply excellent!

  • @MikahWonders
    @MikahWonders 2 роки тому

    Got chills after she said her book because a number one best seller!

  • @racheldenapoli2278
    @racheldenapoli2278 4 роки тому

    Thank you!!!

  • @sheba1307
    @sheba1307 5 років тому +1

    Love this love her ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @krispb-2.13.23
    @krispb-2.13.23 2 роки тому

    Thank you, your talk was really helpful ❤️

  • @rhameelah
    @rhameelah 5 років тому

    Awesomeness!!

  • @logambalganeson473
    @logambalganeson473 3 роки тому +1

    I really need this to overcome all

  • @stephany894
    @stephany894 3 роки тому

    I needed this today..

  • @respectedandconnected
    @respectedandconnected 4 роки тому

    Love this!

  • @kimanisworld2896
    @kimanisworld2896 4 роки тому

    I needed this 😔

  • @sie5221
    @sie5221 4 роки тому +1

    Awwwwww this is so beautiful and so sad and this woman is my hero :'( xxxxx

  • @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382
    @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382 2 роки тому

    I can relate

  • @jennahumphrey1
    @jennahumphrey1 4 роки тому +2

    Thank you, wow, I really needed to hear this. Thanks for your honesty and good advice. I've been trying to decide it's ok that my house is messy, I can't compare to the FB super-moms, it's ok I'm not always this happy, perfect SAHM, and we all need to cut it out expecting so much out of ourselves and each other as women. Also, you are hilarious. 😂

  • @loveinthewebb6168
    @loveinthewebb6168 3 роки тому

    Bc... I had the audacity 😂 it’s so true!!

  • @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382
    @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382 2 роки тому

    Social media is such a lie so true

  • @28claudette
    @28claudette 2 роки тому +2

    No mention of “mum guilt” for those mothers who are chronically ill, which saddens me because I wanted to watch this so I could feel less alone, but it was never brought up and I feel more lonely.

    • @brianna3239
      @brianna3239 2 роки тому +1

      I’m so sorry, I would encourage you to search for resources to support you so you don’t feel alone. I found this by typing in just plain Mom guilt and it popped up.