The Simple Secret of Being Happier | Tia Graham | TEDxManitouSprings
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- Опубліковано 29 січ 2023
- We think happiness comes from meeting other people's expectations, but really it comes from creating our own. In this relatable and humorous talk, Certified Chief Happiness Officer, Tia Graham inspires us to make intentional choices about how we spend our time. After decades of working with leaders and organizations, Tia argues that putting happiness first is the path to fulfillment and career success.
Tia Graham is the Founder of Arrive At Happy, a sought-after international speaker, #1 best-selling Amazon author, and consultant on positive psychology and employee engagement. She is the host of The Arrive At Happy Leaders Show, a speaker at the annual World’s Happiness Summit, and a Certified Chief Happiness Officer. Tia has multiple certifications in the science of happiness, leadership coaching, and neuroscience.
Along with her company, her insights have been featured in Forbes, CNN, CBS, Fast Company, NPR, and Thrive Global, to name a few. She has worked with dozens of global companies such as Hilton Hotels, Hewlett Packard, Four Seasons, and The American Heart Association to elevate team engagement and drive bottom line results.
Prior to founding her company, Arrive at Happy, Tia successfully led sales and marketing teams for 14-years at luxury hotels in Hawaii, New York City, Istanbul, and Los Angeles for brands such as W Hotels, Westin, and The London.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Choice of happiness:
1. Spend a lot of quality time with family and friends
2. Getting a good night sleep
3. Moving at least 4 times a week. Do not exercise to look good but to be happier
4. Do work that you like, enjoy doing...change career, volunteering, spend time in nature, helping others
Yes! And meditate/pray/spirituality, reading, music, dancing, living wit awe and gratitude, learning and growing, etc. There are SO many happiness choices based on the science of happiness.
Thanks!
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If you believe that will be all of them
Thanks! You saved me 15 mins of my life 👍👍
I am 46 years old and my experience has taught me that happiness starts by creating a positive and welcoming environment for happiness. That is by getting read of toxic people, getting read of guilt, getting rid of trauma, getting rid of bad memories, improving self worth, loving ourselves, learning ourselves and understanding we only have one life 🤔..
Thank you for watching my talk and sharing your perspective and experience! Your advice is fantastic and I agree with all of it. I regularly say to myself, you are alive and healthy - what a massive gift!
Agree. And a lot of that has also been known before, since the ancient philosopher's time, or even how brain process the reality and various experiences (sort of following modern Eduardo Kastrup or Donald Hoffman and more, not going into ancient philosophers).
It is just almost like we have mostly forgotten about it, or simply don't have time to think about it in the modern world, especially with constant day to day issues, cost of living, worrying, work/job, health issues, or even nobody to talk to when we need to, and so on (a very simple basic approach here, as the issues are much more deeper than it).
But yeah, at the end... most of it is in your mind, how you react, how you are seeing everything and... in a way how to create your own environment for happiness. And you are right about toxic people, no matter if this is a private life, friends, or family or co-workers. Get rid of people like that. Guilt and trauma? The same but that is a tough one to crack in a lot of cases. Especially guilt (and psychology is full of examples of it).
I guess what I'm saying is that I agree 100%, and also I love the presentation from Tia. You can feel the experience in the voice, and also somebody who wants to share her own life experience with us.
What a great talk! I'm already doing many of the things she mentioned, but I often feel guilty about the time I spend hiking, sleeping, petting my cats and hugging my wife. It's good to hear the research showing that these things can not only make you happier, but more productive as well. I'm glad Tia gave me some confirmation. Also, her dad sounds really cool!
It's truly the little things that are most important. Try not to feel guilty, but when you do think of me. I would have committed suicide years ago if I didn't have my cats to pet.
I'm glad you mention the guilt of doing something else. I feel it too. It's not just me. 😌
I totally agree with you
😊
Things like hugging the wife cn even make you more reproductive as well.
I am here just to increase listening skill..
Hi Abu, I hope that my TEDx talk supported you.
Does it help to you?
I'm also dude
Cool dude @@GurpreetSingh-qn5ep
So do i 😂
Message for Tia's Dad: Way to CHOOSE HAPPY Dad! Thanks for your great example and helping shape Tia so she can share this inspiration with the world!
Grieving is important. Coming out of it / or through it is too ...
🤗🤗❤❤
Wonderful n inspirational talking!!!
❤
I’ve always found It’s about a little bit of selfishness (spending ME time), dropping bad friends and family, fresh air, sunshine, good healthy food, and most of all don’t dwell on the past and certainly not on the bad times. This vid is great advice and once you’re happy a lot of the health issues can dissipate too😊
We believe and perceive that being selfish is not a positive thing - it is! When we take care of ourselves, we can take better care of the people that we love. Our social circle is SO important and yes to focusing more on the future. We can all be more self-compassionate about the past and practice forgiveness. Thank you for sharing your comment.
Such a wonderful talk, and an important reminder to pursue those things that bring joy to our soul! Thank you, Tia.
Thank you so much Nadine! I truly appreciate it.
Happiness is a choice, that's the key point Tia just impacted me with. Thank you.
Thank you Joseph! It is a choice AND hard work! But, keep choosing it over and over again.
This is so simplistic. When trauma after trauma puts you in a bad place,
there is no happiness for you to choose.
When depression hits you badly, happiness is not within your reach.
Yes, when you are affected by trauma, you must focus on healing your mind, body and spirit from that trauma. I highly recommend the book, The Body Keeps the Score. It is filled with research, stories, and proven strategies to heal from trauma. If and when people are depressed, I highly recommend partnering with professionals that you trust to support you. Exercise, meditation, healthy foods, doing meaningful work, volunteering, journaling when you are going through pain, and many other choices also support people who are depressed.
I really wish I could easily do what she says and I often feel so negative because nothing is enjoyable to me after my husband left. I used to love crafts. Now all of it sits untouched so I decided to sort through it and give it to others so it makes them happy. I can't sleep. I even go to bed early but I always wake up in the middle of the night and takes forever to fall asleep only when I do, it's time to get up and work. I keep trying though. Vitamins, exercises, spend the little time I do have with my son since my husband and I take turns with him but it's still hard. I pray that I get better but I do try to make the choice but it's like my body is so weak and I just feel so sad. I tell myself it takes time and I keep trying with everything said.
Sending love and light to you ✨️ 💛
As someone who has also been though many traumas in the last few years and before, it takes time. I do not know what you have been through, and I am so sorry that those things have happened to you. But you do get there and it is worth it. Take care of yourself and lots of love to you ❤️
@@laurencampbell7139 I am sorry for you too.
Love this talk and could not agree more that happiness comes from creating our own with the choices we make! Choosing "Happy" and then aligning our actions and behaviors with this choice helps us all cultivate our own happiness, show up better for our own lives and everyone in it! Bravo Tia!
Thank you so much Shelley! Meeting and connecting with you makes me feel grateful and happy. Yes to choosing actions and behaviors that align with happiness.
She’s down to earth, passionate and positive. Excellent talk, thank you!
Thank you so much Dino. I truly appreciate it.
@@TiaGraham you’re welcome!
All true;) thank you too
Amazing, Tia. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the world.
Thank you so much for watching my talk!
A great reminder of what really matters, and that it’s never too late to reset priorities in life. Thank you for delivering a great talk! 🙏🏻
Thank you so much! It is never too late.
Tia, thank you for being real, sharing your story and showing up to do this work! We need more people like you, keep up the great work!
Thank you so much Kati!
Thanks so much, very informative,am going to learn to practice this and more❤
Love this talk! Keep it simple - do what you love to do.
Thank you so much Nicole! It made me feel really happy to connect with you and share this week.
This talk is a great reminder that we all have the choice in life to be happy. Thank you Tia for the inspiration! I got goosebumps listening to you!
Thank you so much! Yes, it is a choice AND hard work. We all need to keep making the choice over and over again.
100% agree. I choose to be happy ( most of the time). 😊. Ups and downs. Part of life. Thank you Tia.
Thank you Luis!
I said it once and I'll say it again! What a fantastic Ted talk. Tia is all about being happy and how you, as a leader can be happy too. Loved it! Love her!
Thank you so much Deborah! I hope that we can share a stage soon in the near future.
Lots of people want to spread happiness. The reason I'm glad I invested time watching this particular talk is the powerful intro story about Tia's father, and the sincerity/credibility behind the suggestions. Well done!
Thank you Lee! Choosing happiness is one of the most powerful lessons that parents can teach and model for their children. I am so grateful to now be connected with you.
I could not agree more! Her talk really motivates me and makes me excited! Happiness is a choice! This is where I stand at this point in my life! Really inspiring talk!!!!
Thank YOU so much! Your comment is motivating to me. :)
This was so wonderful and really caught me off guard from an emotional standpoint. What wonderful wisdom to share, over the moon grateful for Tia Graham for having the courage to share her lived experiences.
I am so grateful that you found it valuable! Thank you
Thank You Tia! I'm so happy I found you on UA-cam! This all makes perfect sense!
You have motivated me, to choose happiness! ❤😊
I am so glad!!! You have agency over your behaviors and thoughts and both can impact your well-being.
What an incredible and inspirational reminder of how important being HAPPY is!
Thank you Tia.
Thank you Barb! So excited to meet you.
Great talk Tia! I am so glad that I finally hear you speak. Everyone is searching for happiness and we often fail to realize that it’s right in front of us!
Yes! It takes intention and effort every single day.
Thank you Tia for all your valuable insight and for helping so many people. We are so lucky and happy each time we can hear you !
Thank you Christophe! I hope to see you soon!
Thank you Tia for sharing this message and providing steps to move toward experiencing happiness more often as a choice instead of a few moments here and there in life.
Thank you so much Christine! I look forward to meeting you in the near future.
Thanks for some great motivation, Tia! Love the story and reminder of the choice we have to make each day.
My pleasure! Thank you so much for watching my talk.
Totally agree! Priorities are the ones that should be taken into consideration 😊
Yes! We must prioritize what makes us feel well and what makes us feel more positive and optimistic.
It’s amazing how “simple” happiness is when we take the time to break it down. Yet, we so easily get caught up with the busyness of life that we go through the daily motions without realizing how we are spending our time - the most important commodity we have.
We all struggle and we need time - taking a pause to listen to something like this - to examine whether we are on the right path to happiness.
Thank you for the talk.
I absolutely agree. The "busyness" has become our new normal and we are always using technology and consuming content. With social media, we also compare ourselves to others and that makes us unhappy. TIME is our most precious resource, so spend time doing things that you TRULY enjoy doing. Pausing and reflecting is so crucial. Thank YOU
Absolutely love and thank you for sharing your message
Thank you so much for watching it and leaving a comment! I truly appreciate it.
Amazing talk❤
Thanks Tia I really enjoyed your presentation and how great it is
this really makes me to feel happy now I’ll like to share my family and friends ❤
Thank you so much Azhaar! I hope that your friends and family enjoy the message and ideas.
Dear Tia,
Your speech has been indeed wonderfully motivating to do more the avenues of. Happiness that matter to us the most.
Thank you!
Thank you so very much for taking the time to watch my TEDx talk! I am so grateful that it was motivating and valuable.
Thank you so so much for this Ted Talk Tia. Talk about timing....I am grateful to you 🙏
Thank you so much Robbie! You can come back to it whenever you need it. I have more videos on my YT channel for you as well.
@@TiaGraham Wonderful! I will definitely go to your channel to watch them! I am from Montreal. So proud you are from our beautiful country ♥️🇨🇦✨
Tia, what an amazing talk! We get to chose to be happy…so true. I loved the tips on ways we can make better choices that lead to more happiness!
Thank you so much Justin! Yes, we get to choose it and MUST choose it over and over again. I truly appreciate you taking the time to watch this talk!
Love this Tia! Happiness truly is a choice 😊
Thank you Leah!
It's so simple about how to be happy! Thank you! Prioritize your happiness and the world around you will change for the better❤
It is simple AND a lot of work. In one of my keynote talks I say, "Happiness is a choice. It is one that you must continuously choose." Prioritize your well-being for your family, friends, colleagues, community, and the world. We can all choose to spread more light.
I loved this speech for so many reasons. I really had a wow moment when Tia explains how you can have a happy life without being happy all the time. That made me step back and affirm I have a happy life! I am also adopting the mantra that outsiders and the world can’t tell you what you should be doing … you need to know your own happy and so that which fills your bucket. Way to go Tia and thank you for the beautifully delivered gem. Hope your dad is doing well.🎉
Thank you SO much Bonnie! Yes!!! There is no such thing as being happy all the time. Yes! Listen to you. You know what is best for you. My Dad is doing great. :-) Have a wonderful new year.
Captivating and inspiring talk, Tia! Your dad was on to something and it clearly made an impact on your life. And now we all get to be the beneficiaries of that wisdom!
Thank you so much! I am grateful for my Dad's choice and knowing that we have the ability to make choices around our thoughts and behaviors.
I cannot agree more with this Mrs. Thank you very much! I am convinced you helped many people, especially when the majority of us see things more negatively than positively.
Thank you so much! There are days where I see things negatively too, we are human. It is a daily practice and focus to be positive and optimistic.
A most Excellent talk. So clear and simple. I’m now following your and Dad’s advice. ❤
Thank you John! It is clear, simple, and takes constant work and attention. I have to keep making the choice over and over again.
Such an inspiration and role model to my every day life! I truly find happiness in what I do when working with your family ☺️
Thank you so much Kaylie! You bring our family so much joy and giggles.
Thank you for this. “Happiness is what you do.” I like that.
It helps me a lot! I remind myself that the habits and rituals that support my spiritual, physical, intellectual, relational, and emotional well-being ARE the path to happiness and contentment.
Tia, this is an epic Ted Talk. So very important for today. It speaks volumes to me and where I have been at for years. I am working hard on the very things you mention, to stop putting everyone’s happiness before my own in my “stay at home mom” world.
Thank you for speaking up about this, I am inspired to use these tools to make my life happier. Way to go!
Thank you so much! When you put yourself first, you can then take care of everyone around you even better.
I appreciate that you spoke very clearly. I think so many international forks listen to TED to improve their language skills. I do the same. This is one of the best ones. Good luck ma’am.
Thank you!
On bahalf of my ancestors, the living dead, the unborn, my family members, all manchester united fans, my wicked landlord, and the wicked kenyan president, I recommend this presentation to all Kenyans and Gazans in their most difficult time........ Choose happiness all the time!
Thank you SO much for watching my TEDx talk and sharing your comments. Have a wonderful December.
Way to tell it Tia. Thank you so much.
Thank you Donna!
"Prioritize your happiness"...this is so great Tia! I love the 4 simple and actionable steps you lay out here on how to "do" happiness. Thank you for you vulnerability and willingness to share your story. Everyone needs to hear this message!
Thank you so much Andrew! I truly appreciate you watching my TEDx and spreading the message.
@@TiaGraham Absolute pleasure! Let's keep this going. The world needs your message!
@@andrewlanderson That is my plan! :-)
The speaker is so energetic and lovely that urge me to feel like more happier
Thank you so much! Choose happiness for yourself and use the science of happiness to increase and sustain it.
_GREAT_ talk 👏👏👏 Absolute primer and also a summary (depending on where in your happiness research you are). Peeps should watch this when they are like 8, not during their mid-life crisis.
Plus she's _really_ cute, I'd love to see her do a standup comedy sketch!
Thank you so much! I have never thought about doing standup ;)
Thank you! I loved this video, I agree with all! When we spen our time doings things that really matter to us we feel more productive, more happier and always try to deliver our better.
I am SO grateful that you loved the idea and message. Our time is so valuable and let's spend it on what brings us purpose, joy, and makes us more wise and compassionate with all humans.
Love! Thanks so much for sharing your insight!
You are so welcome Caroline! Thank YOU for watching and commenting.
This talk was amazing!
I really needed it, Thank u Tia
Zara, thank you so much for taking the time to watch my TED talk and I am so grateful that you found it valuable.
Love this! Such powerful thought leadership!
Thank you so much!
Tia, this is such a great message. Dance, go outside, Do what you Like to DO, choose meaning and Create Your Happiness! Love this and Thank you so much!
Yeah! Happiness is something that we DO.
Thank you for your advice ❤
Thank you so much for watching my talk and leaving a comment. I hope you have a wonderful fall season.
Wonderful talk Tia!!!! Your message will help a lot more people to choose happiness! I love how your father's story sparked your desire to choose happy for your own life and others! Awesome to share the TEDx stage with you!
Thank you!!! You too!!!
That was absolutely beautiful, amazing!! Happiness is not rocket science and Tia you certainly made it quite obvious. Thank you❤
Thank you for watching my talk and sharing your perspective. When we choose it for ourselves, we lift everyone else around us up!
Thank you so much for this steady, reassuring and impactful video…just loved it!
Thank YOU so much! I am so grateful that it is so valuable to you.
THANK YOU TEDX!!!!!!
You love TEDx as much as I do ;)
The way she talk is so calm and easy to understand for a person has beginer level English like me. Love her so much ❤
Thank you SO much!
Spend time doing things you like. Couldn’t be more straight forward ! ❤
Yes! And do not listen to society, what other people say you SHOULD do, etc. Spend time getting quiet, journaling, and talking to trusted friends and family. You know what you need the best.
What a great talk. This talk is a great reminder that we all have the choice in life to be happy
Thank you so very much. I need this reminder over and over again. We can keep making the choice together.
Very good presentation. Happiness has to be a vision for oneself as a preference. Sure there's plenty of things we could see as negatives, and focus on those..... just realize that's not the road to happiness and don't put the focus on those things.
Being happy is a choice at every level, so if you had the choice (which we do), be happy and life will respond in great ways.
Thank you very much Rick. Yes, you must identify as a happy human and KEEP making the choice to be one over and over again. And have a healthy relationship with the painful sides of life.
I’ve always appreciated her talks and have actually taken her advice and it HAS made significant changes in my life! I’ve also had the pleasure and opportunity to work & create with her. And would do so again in a heartbeat ❤
Thank you SO much Jorge! I truly appreciate all of your support and am grateful that my advice has supported your life. Hope to see you in LA again soon!
Thank you for sharing your story with us because it is the right way to choose happiness, I used to find my happiness by doing certain things like shopping, posting pictures on Instagram and relying on others.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You can increase your happiness and well-being with your behaviors and your thoughts - we all have agency over these.
The compassionate and informative approach in your videos is commendable. Keep up the good work in the mental health community!
Thank you so much! I truly appreciate it.
Thank you so much❤️❤️
Thank you for watching my talk! :)
Thank you so much, this was amazing.
Thank you so much! I am so grateful that you found it valuable.
THANK YOU, TIA!!!! YOU HIT IT OUT OF THE PARK!!!!!!
WOW!!! Thank you so much!!! :) :) :)
So many thought provoking opportunities in this talk. Thanks for sharing with us!
Thank you Karla!
Beautiful and inspiring talk!
Thank you very much!
great video! love how you put it in perspective to look for the positives in life
Thank you so much! We have to be intentional to be positive and have a healthy relationship with our painful emotions and suffering. I truly appreciate that you took the time to watch it.
@@TiaGraham thanks so much. Going to see if you have more videos to watch
Great reminder
Thank you so much!
she is talking about everything as a really experienced person. i appreciate it, even if I'm not a native speaker, i understand what she said, because she make me interested in this video!
I am so grateful! Thank you so much for watching my TEDx talk.
Love it ❤! Exactly what I need to hear right now
Thank you so much! What is one thing that you want to commit to that makes you feel happy?
Simple, inspiring, practical! This is what I need! Thank you;)
Yeah!!! You are so welcome!
@@TiaGraham Hi Tia, thank you for inspiring me ;)
You are truly appreciated Tia😊
I totally enjoyed your session a lot, how you mentioned that happiness is the sweetest pleasure which can create a stress less boundary around ourselves, it was a wonderful way to make us understand. 😌💕
Thank you so much! I wish you a really great 2024!
Thank you so much for such an inspiring TED talk ..
My sincere pleasure.
So inspiring!! I loved every second. Thank you Tia for sharing your stories and for using your platform to share so much positivity and happiness. ❤
It is my sincere pleasure Lisa.
One of the best ted x I ever listen
" Choose happiness " It's a choice
Oh my gosh! Thank you so much!!!
you make my day !!!!!!! what a lovely speech .thanks you so much
Thank you!!! Your comment just made my day :)
Amazing!!!
Thank you SO much!!!
Thanks! Your speech is so inspiring.
Thank you very much for watching my TED talk and I am grateful that you found it valuable.
Everything about happiness happens. 😊😊❤ Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much!
TOTALLY AWSOME TEDX CANADA!!!!! I LOVE MY CANADIAN FAMILY!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH.
:) Thank you!
Excellent advice!!
Thank you so much!
I really appreciate your talking ❤
I truly appreciate that you took the time to watch my talk. Thank you so much.
Tia, great job!! I enjoyed the main message of how "happiness is a choice, and it's something you do."
The small moments you captured of how your dad was dancing, listening to music, making pancakes, and saying he decided, "to not have another bad year." (Bonus points for the dance moves lol)
"Psychologically rich" was a great unique term you should expand on for another TED talk-perhaps a part 2 of happiness in a post pandemic world.
I'm happy to be happy leads to a long life 🙂
Overall, I'm impressed. Keep up the great work!
-Mike V.
Tia thank you so much amazing talk ❤
My pleasure! I am so glad that it was valuable for you.
I guess, a lot of people that are clicking on the video are stayed already informed about this issue, thank you for reminding us. lol
Thank you so much for watching the video! We must choose happiness over and over for ourselves.
I’ve found it best to focus on living a fulfilling life and just being aware that happiness comes and goes.
Thank you! Positive emotions come and go, so do the painful ones. A happy life is one where you have more positive than pain, have purpose and meaning, and have a variety of experiences that make you psychologically rich and wise.
Tia!! Thank you for sharing your story to inspire so many!
Thank you for all of your support!
A will and proper will to become happier! 🙌🏻💛
Yes! It takes the will and proper strategies and behaviors to increase well-being.
My definition of happiness is hiking surrounded by mountains.
I relocated out-of-state 6 months ago. And I’m struggling to find my happiness as the state we’ve relocated to doesn’t have mountains. I’ve tried to hike here but the elevation is low. I began to bake more to feel happier. This helps. I’ve chosen to complete my MHA program (1 class remaining before completion). I’ll soon re-enter the workforce part-time to travel more. I also think that helping people overcome what I had to will elevate my quality of life once more per patient advocacy.
And I’d love to visit Beautiful Canada. Canada has the most gorgeous mountains.
(P.S. The United States has the highest depression rates internationally. I never follow “trends” in society in this country; I much prefer sustaining my strong moral compass and remaining in-alignment w/ my faith).
Thank you for your insight. 😇
Hiking in the mountains is a source of happiness and peace for me as well! My Mom would always say, "This is God", when we were skiing in the mountains. What about making a list of all of the activities and things that bring you joy? In addition to hiking, what other activities can you do in nature? Congratulations on completing your program and for choosing to work to travel. Travel is a huge source of happiness and purpose for many. Thank you so much for your comments. Tia
A breath of fresh air!
Thank you Linda! We need more light and hope in our world!
I love the story about dad; divorce can be so hard on both men and women and everyone involved. Thank you for sharing your story and wisdom.
Thank you so much for taking the time to watch my TED. Divorce is hard and can turn out OK in the end.
Thank you for such a beautiful talk thank you so much 😊
Thank you so much for watching!
I loved this. It all makes so much sense. I already knew these things but to have it clearly laid out might make it easier to follow:) Wiping my tears away, I am going to try really hard to commit to this❤
Oh my goodness, thank you so much. It makes sense and we each must give ourselves permission and time to do things that we REALLY enjoy doing. What part brought the tears for you? You can commit to it! Choose happiness for yourself over and over again.
The way of presentation was highly impressive ! Thanks ! 💐
Thank you so much! I am so grateful that you found it valuable.
Thank you 🎉
Thank you so much for watching my talk and leaving a comment. Have a wonderful August!
@@TiaGraham u have no idea how much u helped with that video. Sometimes we need an external force to tell us these things, u have been that force. 🎉🎈✨