How ADHD Treatment Is Not ADHD Friendly

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  • Опубліковано 25 сер 2024
  • I wasn't sure if I was going to share this because it's very raw and personal, but I decided it's important to. If you resonate, comment. Share. Let's let others with ADHD know they're not alone in this struggle and help mental health professionals understand what we go through. Let's make some change.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 10 тис.

  • @giventogrow8533
    @giventogrow8533 4 роки тому +8973

    “I should have been asked more than is the medication working and are there any side effects” OMG this!!!!
    This is all my psychiatrist asks me. There is zero discussion on adhd management skills or tools or any guidance on how I can better set myself up for some (if any at all) success with my treatment. Medication had the power to relax my brain enough to where I can finally be able to put in the psychological and behavioural work that will help me to better cope with/manage my adhd but without any assistance or what to do or guidance on what I could be improving on I’m at a loss. I keep trying things but I feel so lost and on my own with this. I got diagnosed at 37 and it felt like a life saving revelation in my life to finally have answers. But I need to do something with this knowledge and understanding for it to have any real long lasting value in my life. I need someone to guide me on my journey of learning how to make my brain work in this world or how to beat use my brain to make the most of what I can do. This video touched me so much. I feel your struggle so deeply. I am sending you so much love and a huge hug. You, we and *all* of us are not alone. Even in our loneliness. ❤️

    • @HowtoADHD
      @HowtoADHD  4 роки тому +808

      Of all the changes I would like to see, this might be the #1 and also VERY doable. Given that the recommended treatment for ADHD is *multimodal* -- medication for symptoms, behavioral therapy for impairment -- our treatment providers can and should ABSOLUTELY be asking about how we're managing our ADHD besides medication.

    • @Indykitty1
      @Indykitty1 4 роки тому +218

      Psychiatrist for meds. Psychologist for therapy.

    • @LeonDeLaMole
      @LeonDeLaMole 4 роки тому +91

      @Indykitty1 Yes the nurse who prescribed my meds a few years ago said she could only ask me those questions about effectiveness and side effects of the meds. I would have to go to a separate psychologist or cognitive behavioral therapist for any deep life discussions. She did offer a little advice but her job was not to talk out the problems.

    • @insertclevernamehere2506
      @insertclevernamehere2506 4 роки тому +51

      @@Indykitty1 Agreed, anyone will struggle to get more than medication prescriptions from the vast majority of Psychiatrists, multimodal approaches aren't typically part of their approach. They generally hand over to other practitioners at that point which can make multimodal therpay a bit clunky (which in turn can certainly serve as a disincentive to try that mixed approach for many folk).

    • @anatolia0222
      @anatolia0222 4 роки тому +82

      Yes, I 100% understand what everyone is saying, but unfortunately on the NHS you only get access to a psychiatrist to check on your medication. Even if there's suspected comorbid conditions (although I understand that you have to work on 1 before seeing if there's more). What I'm saying is, if you can't afford a psychologist/counselling/behavioural therapy then you just end up with someone who asks about your meds.

  • @NielMalan
    @NielMalan 4 роки тому +4793

    The last time I saw a psychiatrist it felt more like a police interrogation than a medical consultation.

    • @HowtoADHD
      @HowtoADHD  4 роки тому +845

      oof yeah I feel that. Even though I have this whole channel about it, I still get met with suspicion.

    • @yodaoflight1
      @yodaoflight1 4 роки тому +113

      Had a change of GP, so I was dreading the controlled drug interrogation. So much anxiety 😫, but a good new GP was good... they do exist, sadly rare

    • @rizznrita
      @rizznrita 4 роки тому +180

      Crane it’s understandable that they would be thorough when trying to diagnose and prescribe a medication, but it’s absolutely unacceptable for a lifelong diagnosis (which is often diagnosed in children, where it would be incredibly unlikely that they sought a diagnosis to get and misuse medication) to be treated like a ploy to feed an addiction. If a person has a standing diagnosis, follow up appointments to get a prescription renewed should be treated like a check-up (ie how are you sleeping? is the medication causing unintended side effects? does your dosage need to be adjusted? etc) not an interrogation.

    • @shoosya
      @shoosya 4 роки тому +65

      I had to explain several times to my GP why I thought I needed to try medication and I was still advised to see a psychiatrist first, even though I was already diagnosed by my therapist. When she heard I did not work when I first raised this discussion, GP prescribed me antidepressants (which I needed too) and suggested between the lines that in daily life I'll be ok without meds since I don't have to do hard mental labor. Duh!

    • @kittycat3638
      @kittycat3638 4 роки тому +18

      @@rizznrita also they could look for signs of addiction or ask u questions abt ppl u know to figure out if they're addicted. For example "does anyone u know seem to be severely lacking in sleep?".

  • @TimTom
    @TimTom 4 роки тому +4975

    I wish people understood this. Everything you need to do to get meds is made exceptionally difficult by ADHD. It's a nightmare.

    • @HowtoADHD
      @HowtoADHD  4 роки тому +540

      It really is. There is so much anxiety trying to navigate all of this, on top of the stigma around even taking stimulant meds in the first place. Thanks for watching

    • @Joy6168
      @Joy6168 4 роки тому +36

      How to ADHD, What you’re going through Jenna, is one of the reasons why I had gotten off of medication.

    • @victoriarees4540
      @victoriarees4540 4 роки тому +18

      @@Joy6168 Jenna? Do you mean, Jessica?

    • @krmillustrations512
      @krmillustrations512 4 роки тому +107

      It's sad that when I started meds, I deliberately undermedicated for the first month to build up an "emergency reserve" of pills (all of a week worth).
      Already, I've needed to break into it twice.

    • @willwunsche6940
      @willwunsche6940 4 роки тому +22

      TimTom you have ADHD too!? I guess I'm not too surprised, very true statement.

  • @samdryden7944
    @samdryden7944 10 місяців тому +129

    There's a mantra of "you need to get help, you need to get help." Medical help needs to be available, affordable and accessible. Period.

  • @ericvelazquez-sanchez5644
    @ericvelazquez-sanchez5644 Рік тому +262

    I am a therapist with ADHD and this is a real thing. I try to treat my people as best as I can. I hope everyone else can find a therapist that does.❤

  • @unclesunbro1577
    @unclesunbro1577 4 роки тому +2782

    I finally had to ask the doctor, "Why is this so hard to get you to take seriously?" I think it shook him a little.

    • @92RKID
      @92RKID 4 роки тому +645

      Good that you shook him up. Sad that you actually had to ask that question. You asked for the whole tribe. Thank you. You were brave.

    • @unclesunbro1577
      @unclesunbro1577 4 роки тому +349

      @@92RKID I don't know about brave. I was very angry at that point.

    • @Carlygrrl
      @Carlygrrl 4 роки тому +87

      Uncle Sunbro good for you! Hope it nudges him to listen more

    • @wolfferoni
      @wolfferoni 4 роки тому +69

      How did he respond to that?

    • @andreal3239
      @andreal3239 4 роки тому +131

      Honestly, I need to ask this question to a lot of people in my life, really badly, thankyou for helping me identify that need

  • @Ennuigo423
    @Ennuigo423 4 роки тому +4081

    Well said. ADHD “treatment” boils down to “Don’t have ADHD.” It’s barbaric.

    • @terriashburn5740
      @terriashburn5740 4 роки тому +42

      YUP; so true!!!

    • @Contractorlove
      @Contractorlove 4 роки тому +269

      I had a doctor who told me that being an adult I should be able to handle myself and he offered to put me in psych clinic, I only needed a prescription for my medication.

    • @St.Raphael...
      @St.Raphael... 4 роки тому +1

      Substance abusers...

    • @captainAUBS
      @captainAUBS 4 роки тому +86

      @@St.Raphael... loser

    • @St.Raphael...
      @St.Raphael... 4 роки тому +1

      CryptoAUBS...let's unpack that thought.
      Why am I a loser?!

  • @lailanitukuafu
    @lailanitukuafu 11 місяців тому +31

    I'm a pharmacy technician with ADHD and I completely understand. My heart breaks every time I have to tell someone that their med is on backorder or insurance won't pay for it because they're an adult. A few of my own coworkers go on rants about how these days, anyone can go to a doctor and say "I can't focus" and they'll come to us with a prescription for Adderall. Or how when they get upset that they can't get their medication, that it's just because they're addicted and want to keep abusing it.
    I completely understand that there are people out there who do abuse ADHD medication, but I get so angry when my coworkers scoff at our patients who are getting meds. How do they know that whoever it is doesn't actually have ADHD? And it is NOT that easy to get a prescription for Adderall. At least not for me. This year I started my own journey for finding a medication that works for me. I had a therapist that knew me really well and believed me, but he couldn't prescribe me anything and then he got a different job. I started seeing a psychiatrist, but even after I came in saying I had been diagnosed by a mental health professional, towards the end he told me that he was still on the fence if I had ADHD. For that and a few more reasons, I started to have anxiety when I see him. He eventually prescribed me one of the meds, but it was a nightmare to actually get it filled. My usual pharmacy told me that they had stopped manufacturing the generic a while ago (a total lie because I knew for a fact that the pharmacy I work at had plenty of it and had no trouble getting it in). So I took the prescription to my work (on my day off) and my coworker told me that my insurance doesn't cover the med for anyone over 18yo without a prior authorization. Because either ADHD magically disappears when you turn 19 or they just want you to suck it up and stop being lazy or just try harder. So I call my psychiatrist's office and ask them to work on the prior authorization. By the time Monday rolls around, they still haven't done it. So I called them again and they just told me to try the store discount card because it would probably be cheaper anyway. It was $98. Next day, I called them AGAIN and the guy I talked to got it done in less than an hour. Even with the PA, I still had to pay almost $70 for a one-month supply. I started taking it and I haven't noticed any effect yet on my ADHD symptoms, but I was short of breath with an increased heart rate and I started to feel nauseous when I tried to eat food I would normally really enjoy. I have enough trouble eating enough as it is without getting nauseous about my food.
    I just started college and I was trying to get accommodations for my classes. They told me to get a letter from my psychiatrist at my next appointment which, at the time, was a couple of weeks away. When I was finally able to talk to him about accomodations, he questioned if I really needed a couple of them and because I'm a doormat, I gave in and he didn't write those ones down. When he wrote the letter, he didn't do it right and the accommodations center at my college told me he had to rewrite it. So I gave up on accommodations because I didn't feel that I was worth the hassle and there was no way I was going to push for him to write it again because of the anxiety that he's been causing me. So now I need to find a new psychiatrist and I probably also need to try a new med that may or may not be on backorder at every pharmacy in the area and that may or may not even work if I do get it.
    I know this is 3 years after the release of this video and probably no one will see this comment. But I'm really frustrated about it all too. I needed to see this video today, thanks.

  • @michellem9444
    @michellem9444 Рік тому +368

    I don't have ADHD, but I can SOOOOOO relate to this!!! I'm diabetic, and my doctor and I have been trying for more than TWO YEARS to get medicine added that my insurance company will approve. My doctor will prescribe something, then the insurance will say no. Then she'll try something else, and they'll say fine, but it's $500 out of pocket (which I can't afford). Meanwhile my blood sugar is out of control, and there's not a damn thing we can do until we hit on their magic formula (which they won't tell me what medicines the doctor IS allowed to prescribe). Anyone who says that the US has the best healthcare in the world is seriously delusional.

    • @janpetsch620
      @janpetsch620 Рік тому +18

      Yes, I have had many hassles getting my diabetic meds. As to the ADHD, my doc blew me off first time...then I started seeing a counselor, she sent me back, he tested me and I am now on those meds. None of this is easy.

    • @burtonkent4549
      @burtonkent4549 Рік тому +19

      Can you talk to your state's insurance commissioner? Apparently insurance companies are slightly afraid of them and will listen. They should at least say what drugs are Ok.

    • @michellem9444
      @michellem9444 Рік тому +8

      @@burtonkent4549 Thanks, that's something I didn't know even existed! Appreciate the info! :)

    • @amarchhabra2175
      @amarchhabra2175 Рік тому +10

      I am Diabetic too. Lucky my insurance pays, but I looked into a backup plan in case I don't have insurance one day. If you are in the US, diabetic medication (insulin ) is a fraction of the US retail price. It's still more than I pay with the insurance in the US but if I had no insurance I would go there to buy it. I actually went across the border and picked up a coupe of boxes. The pharmacist that I bought it from said that a lot of people come from across the border to get such medications. You may want to look into doing that. That's horrible the insurance company won't pick it up. Our healthcare system is horrible.

    • @SanctifiedLady
      @SanctifiedLady 10 місяців тому

      Your blood sugar is out of control because you keep adding thi in your mouth that puts sugar in your blood 🤷🏽‍♀️ it’s not rocket science!! Veggies and meats PERIOD!!! Nothing else and you won’t be killing your self. Type 1 is a different story but no one else has any excuse but greedy and gluttony

  • @ladypinetree1820
    @ladypinetree1820 4 роки тому +1046

    I once saw a meme on Reddit where the caption said “what navigating the health care system with ADHD feels like”. The picture was of a dog holding the end of its own leash in its mouth.

    • @dutchkel
      @dutchkel 4 роки тому +41

      why did that make me teary

    • @hamsterpouches
      @hamsterpouches 4 роки тому +8

      Brilliant

    • @shaylahowell7077
      @shaylahowell7077 4 роки тому +43

      Add signs showing arrows pointing in opposite directions and that’s it exactly

    • @Cindy-Williams
      @Cindy-Williams 4 роки тому +17

      Unhook the leash from the dog’s collar and let it dangle.

    • @foxi3rose764
      @foxi3rose764 4 роки тому +5

      Sound about right , I got adhd and I got as much help as the Africans have got water 👍👌

  • @hotonionsoup
    @hotonionsoup 3 роки тому +2943

    "I feel like I've been trying my whole life to figure out how my brain works and to do my best" - this hit hard

    • @TM-fo4uq
      @TM-fo4uq 3 роки тому +38

      Legit started crying

    • @dreamydaze
      @dreamydaze 3 роки тому +16

      Totally agree! The system is broken.

    • @jenniferurwiller1403
      @jenniferurwiller1403 3 роки тому +6

      Me too 😢

    • @Katy-sh3ru
      @Katy-sh3ru 3 роки тому +41

      I'm proud of my effort, but it's exhausting. And people who aren't ADHD just don't get it.

    • @agarvey77
      @agarvey77 3 роки тому +21

      Me too but only got my diagnosis at 36. I wish had had known sooner so my life woulda turned out better.

  • @veronicanaumov2981
    @veronicanaumov2981 Рік тому +84

    I just want to share a personal story, so I go to college at Indiana and I have been diagnosed with ADHD when I was 7. More than a decade ago, I’m 18 now. My college’s Disability services straight up told me that because my ADHD was diagnosed a decade ago it’s not valid and therefore I need a new diagnosis. Which for the record costs roughly 3000-4000$ alongside tuition. I have had this condition for as long as I can remember every day was a struggle, and it infuriates me that this part of me was so unexplained for a long time. I’m thankful that I found away around this particular problem but it’s important to address that this is a problem. Later into the first year of college I had a math exam and the professor did something that really impacted me, he pulled me aside and asked me “hey I notice you’ve been struggling but you do every problem and seem to run out of time? Would extended time be beneficial for you?” This surprised me because I had genuinely had no idea that I didn’t need approval to get support. So yeah this video hits close to home and it’s one of the things that I want to change.

    • @danlightened
      @danlightened 9 місяців тому +7

      So, according to them, ADHD just goes away? 🤬

    • @jinxgirl5
      @jinxgirl5 7 місяців тому

      Only reason I can think for that would be since we're constantly learning new information they might want to be sure your diagnosis was still correct. It's still super sucky of them though, esp knowing how expensive it can be. They should have at least given you some options like "Dr SuchAndSuch works with us and gives students discounts" or something.

    • @pranksandcomedyaroundworld7475
      @pranksandcomedyaroundworld7475 7 місяців тому +2

      I m from India .I have same prblm what shd I do .plzzzzz tell me

    • @veronicanaumov2981
      @veronicanaumov2981 7 місяців тому

      ⁠​⁠@@pranksandcomedyaroundworld7475
      To be perfectly honest I do not know. I can't provide guidance but what I can say is if you are financially stable and can get a diagnosis and talk to your school/college about it and dont be too harsh on yourself remember our brains work differently than neurotypical people and it'd not your or my fault. I hope this helps!!!!

  • @ryanm4035
    @ryanm4035 Рік тому +60

    I know this video is old, but it absolutely broke me. It was relatable to the point I was getting pretty emotional. The pain and struggle of dealing with the Healthcare system in regards to these medications is almost as bad as adhd itself. It's always a fight. Always an inquisition, and it does not have to be this way.
    To anyone else out there struggling to get their proper meds, my heart goes out to you.

  • @Momofamlly
    @Momofamlly 4 роки тому +1386

    I’m tired of feeling like a criminal for asking for meds. Or that others get treated better because ADHD is just lazy

    • @kevindenney7582
      @kevindenney7582 4 роки тому +35

      I talked to a doctor a few months ago where I told him that my goal is to eventually get off medications if possible. He told me I was the first one to ever ask him that. Mind blown

    • @merturquoise9661
      @merturquoise9661 4 роки тому +13

      @@kevindenney7582 Why would you want to be off med?

    • @wayteyy
      @wayteyy 4 роки тому +61

      @@merturquoise9661 To be able to find ways to manage your ADHD mind without medication. I'm sure everyone would opt to go that route, I'm on medication as we speak. and I'm taking it to make sure I'm "stable" while I'm stable I'm hoping I can find methods and other sources to help me other than being on medication.

    • @SeanAvram
      @SeanAvram 4 роки тому +90

      I still remember the look on my Dr's face when he realized that I wasn't a drug-seeker and that this ADHD thing has to be real and I have to have it because nothing else would explain me. :P Also....what makes you feel like you have to get off the meds? If you had diabetes would you be trying to get off insulin? ADHD is not a contest. There's not beating it. It's just the way your brain works.

    • @fieldy409
      @fieldy409 4 роки тому +38

      Thank god I'm not from the USA but even here they make it harder on us to get our medication regularly. I have to go in every 3 weeks to get it because I only get one bottle now where I used to get two. I assume they're doing it to keep people from selling their medication on the streets but that's not my responsibility to stop, its the polices responsibility to stop drug abuse.

  • @saraht1242
    @saraht1242 4 роки тому +447

    “[B]ecause I don’t know if my mental health is worth an extra $50 per day” whew, this is too familiar.

    • @SM-BSW
      @SM-BSW 4 роки тому +6

      Sarah T saaaaaaaame. Hard same.

    • @DerAua
      @DerAua 4 роки тому +17

      Only in America. Greetings from Germany.

    • @jennykerr6360
      @jennykerr6360 4 роки тому +6

      Sad, but true...

    • @jbkawaiiholic
      @jbkawaiiholic 4 роки тому +8

      I wasn’t sure mine was worth 800$ to get re-evaluated by a clinic who would want to prescribe me the right meds, but after years of struggling, i decided it was.

    • @brookeinspired8032
      @brookeinspired8032 4 роки тому +2

      Get a loan if u have too ur mental health is worth it by a partical amount until u can get into the drs

  • @brianlink391
    @brianlink391 10 місяців тому +54

    00:00 ADHD Treatments: Are They Truly ADHD-Friendly?
    01:16 Challenges: Missed Appointments & Accessing Medication
    02:16 Navigating Health Insurance & Locating ADHD Specialists
    03:19 Hurdles in Securing ADHD Medication
    04:24 Advocating for an ADHD-Friendly Treatment Process
    05:36 ADHD Care: Beyond Just Medication
    06:38 Healthcare & Insurance Barriers in ADHD Treatment
    07:41 Despite Challenges, ADHD Treatment is Crucial
    Thank you for shedding light on these vital issues surrounding ADHD treatment. Your dedication to raising awareness and educating the community is truly commendable. Keep up the amazing work! 👏🌟

  • @NancyLiedel
    @NancyLiedel Рік тому +49

    I'm a 59 year old woman. I was diagnosed with, "Hyperactive Disorder," when I was 7. It was new and my doc was sharp. My meds finally work. It's taken so long. I understand and I'm tearing up. Thank you for your channel.

    • @digbick1500
      @digbick1500 8 місяців тому +3

      I'm a 22, before get meds I lost my ID, my phone and many, many things, many many times, and in the blink of an eye I forgot where I put my phone. however, meds can treat limitation. when you are young, Is there medicine for the disease, I feel soooo lucky I can buy meds to help me, even if it's a little expensive. I can't imagine rest of my life without meds

  • @zimkaseem
    @zimkaseem 3 роки тому +645

    Flashback to the time my therapist said I didn't have ADHD bc I "wasn't impulsive and inappropriate" enough. That my impulsiveness just "didn't impress her"

    • @whaddup5417
      @whaddup5417 3 роки тому +37

      Both those adjectives. Let alone the diagnostic strategy. Jesus Christ.

    • @michaelg8642
      @michaelg8642 3 роки тому +33

      flashback to the time my therapist literally told me I am just a brat and need to grow up

    • @joud9474
      @joud9474 3 роки тому +31

      Flashback to the time the therapist shamed my mom for taking me for an adhd intake accusing her of expecting too much from a kid (I was around 20).
      And ended up asking us to leave and never come back unless we had something serious to talk about.

    • @gobgab1080
      @gobgab1080 3 роки тому +26

      Holy- I didn't realise how terrible mental health services are globally.
      Hope you guys found the understanding therapist. I'll try my best finding one too.

    • @inkkles
      @inkkles 3 роки тому +7

      mine apparently did, my MD knew i had adhd since i was a kid when she was treating my brother

  • @Scalemailmailmail
    @Scalemailmailmail 4 роки тому +442

    Damn, this made me cry.
    In Norway we have a "tounge in cheek" -saying: "You have to be healthy to be ill." -Meaning the helthcare bureaucracy is so infuriating convoluted that you won't be able to navigate it when actually ill.

    • @k8mae656
      @k8mae656 4 роки тому +18

      Exactly!! I've often thought this, but have never been able to put it into words, let alone so succinctly. Thank you for sharing.

    • @andreal3239
      @andreal3239 4 роки тому +4

      Wow, that saying is a good way to put it

    • @SonsOfLorgar
      @SonsOfLorgar 4 роки тому +33

      We have the same saying in Sweden, and even our level of abusive bureaucracy should be criminal to even implement, not to mention the infinitely worse corporate bureaucracy Jessica and other US citizens and inhabitants suffer.

    • @saif0316
      @saif0316 4 роки тому +5

      K8 Mae They care so much about mitigating risk and not about accommodating our difficulties. It’s truly infuriating.

    • @carolinefiorentini3233
      @carolinefiorentini3233 4 роки тому +1

      😦😭

  • @MysMystique
    @MysMystique 6 місяців тому +15

    It’s such a relief to hear other brains have struggled with this as well. US healthcare system is not ADHD friendly. It’s very difficult to find a doctor or providers that takes the disability seriously. We shouldn’t have to suffer so much just to get help. I have and have heard too many horror stories just for people to get help. Humans shouldn’t be treated less then for needing help.

  • @cmj0524
    @cmj0524 Рік тому +76

    Thank you for this video. Currently in my car, crying tears of solidarity and pride in your journey, as I’ve just faced the toughest two weeks in the same position searching for medication during the nationwide stimulant shortage. Two years later, this message still resonates. Thank you.

    • @amysheppeck1278
      @amysheppeck1278 Рік тому +2

      I hope you have been able to find your meds. I am 64, diagnosed at 34; I could tell you so many stories about not being able to get meds, being afraid of running out, running out and trying to cover at work - it sucks!

  • @partysparkelz
    @partysparkelz 4 роки тому +610

    People will sit here and try to tell us that adhd is a lie fed to us to get us to buy meds and yet its this difficult for us to get meds? Make it make sense 🤷

    • @bossyheifer
      @bossyheifer 4 роки тому +13

      Yep, perfect logic in an illogical world!

    • @stevendalton1148
      @stevendalton1148 4 роки тому +12

      Ignorance and flippant treatment of people is a problem...

    • @austin529
      @austin529 4 роки тому +9

      Hi my name is Austin, I have felt ashamed of myself and dumb my whole life.
      I didn't know I had adhd, but once I did I still didn't get the right treatment.
      Posted above I listed some facts, I hope they help.
      It was painful being alone, come take my hand lets make a communityC:

    • @marybethsmith-hynes2749
      @marybethsmith-hynes2749 4 роки тому +30

      People who think ADHD isn’t real have never really experienced someone with serious ADHD on and off meds.

    • @zfox4743
      @zfox4743 4 роки тому

      U

  • @xxpoisonxrosexx
    @xxpoisonxrosexx 4 роки тому +277

    I feel this so hard. They treat adults with ADHD like we're criminals or addicts. There's a ridiculous amount of hoops to jump through and the doctors don't even care about how you're feeling.

    • @Caramel1806
      @Caramel1806 4 роки тому +13

      There are very few doctors who care. I have been blessed and fortunate enough to find a Psychologist and Psychiatrist that care.

    • @JuanGarcia-fr7gl
      @JuanGarcia-fr7gl 2 роки тому +5

      @@Caramel1806 I’m very glad you found a doctor that actually cares, I haven’t yet, and because of that I’m still on treatment that’s ineffective.

  • @Christopher-md7tf
    @Christopher-md7tf Рік тому +94

    I feel ya. We're kind of taught to look up to doctors, psychiatrists and therapists, but honestly, the lack of compassion and sheer ignorance and incompetence on display in these fields can be downright staggering. It really can make you feel incredibly frustrated, lonely, overwhelmed, helpless, and hopeless, because you feel like you have to figure EVERYTHING out for yourself. At least nowadays we have the internet and terrific resources like your channel so we can help each other out and build on the knowledge and experience of others.

    • @kathrynrobertson7923
      @kathrynrobertson7923 6 місяців тому

      Not anymore, not after Covid!

    • @liamlynch2115
      @liamlynch2115 6 місяців тому +1

      I feel like I know more about some things than the professionals

  • @saadazhar5549
    @saadazhar5549 Рік тому +72

    I can't thank you enough for creating this youtube channel. I am nineteen and I am 100 percent sure that I have ADHD. Before your UA-cam channel everyone my parents thought that I am just lazy and can't complete my tasks and I just don't care after a while when ADHD started affecting me a lot in everything mostly my studies I also thought that maybe I am just useless , lazy and a disappointment so thank-you for creating this UA-cam channel. It was so hard for me to tell my mom about this that I have ADHD but she doesn't believe me and thinks that it's just a excuse and my father won't believe me either though he is a child specialist doctors himself. So I won't be able to get meds or anything but your videos help me a lot to cope with my daily life struggles thank you for the support I really wanted it. I started crying in the last part of the video thank you for not making me feel alone. I will go to a doctor when I become financially able because my parents will never agree but I wont give up anymore thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • @jessicabarry4636
      @jessicabarry4636 Рік тому +4

      At 19 with health insurance you can go to the doctor. At your age they can’t tell your parents why you are at the doctor.

    • @MuhammadAbdullah-ii6ui
      @MuhammadAbdullah-ii6ui Рік тому +1

      Same here brother😢. Now here in hostel life I am struggling with it. And I have the inattentive type predominantly. But I guess I will never get the help I need in my country. Mental health is a joke here

  • @JazerMedia
    @JazerMedia 4 роки тому +357

    The biggest thing about being told "you are smart" is that they don't address where you are smart. Sure, you excel at your job, but your personal life matters can be in complete shambles.

    • @ArcangelZero7
      @ArcangelZero7 4 роки тому +63

      So tired of "smart" and "successful" meaning only "Of economic value."

    • @minkeout
      @minkeout 4 роки тому +37

      Yes. Or you have fantastic relationships and excelled at school, but can’t hold a job down.

    • @ninahiatt294
      @ninahiatt294 4 роки тому +13

      YES. Everyone thinks I’m really smart cause I’m good at math but I literally am so dumb in every other way.

    • @jesskimball
      @jesskimball 4 роки тому +2

      100%!

    • @gtickno2946
      @gtickno2946 4 роки тому +17

      This makes me think of how I would get good grades in school because I was good at guessing and bs-ing my way through tests off of the bits of knowledge I retained, or skimming the textbook chapters for how to do the homework, but I had trouble paying attention in class, and the reason I was skimming the chapters was because I hadn't read them. I hated being praised for how I was being so successful in life when I felt I didn't really deserve it and was just getting lucky. Because I absolutely did not have good work ethic. Thank goodness I'm graduated from college now and don't have to worry about schoolwork anymore
      (As well as the personal life being in shambles)

  • @forgotn42
    @forgotn42 4 роки тому +197

    I have a doctor's appointment in 20 minutes. And because I'm uninsured, I get the pleasure of spending $300 on a degrading and humiliating appointment that I am forced to go to to prove that I'm not addicted to adderall. I haven't watched the video yet though because I cried enough on the phone making the appointment and I'm struggling to hold it back now.

    • @HowtoADHD
      @HowtoADHD  4 роки тому +47

      I'm so sorry. Sending hugs and support. You got this.

    • @forgotn42
      @forgotn42 4 роки тому +23

      Doc chuckled and tried to make it out that I was unreasonable for thinking that being forced to come in every 3 months to make sure I'm not an addict is degrading. He even had the audacity to tell me that he understood my side of things after I had explicitly asked if he had ever had to do what I was doing, which he hadn't. Doctors just really don't care about us. We're just an addict they control.

    • @ys-kv3ug
      @ys-kv3ug 4 роки тому +4

      forgotn1. Please find a doctor that treats adhd

    • @forgotn42
      @forgotn42 4 роки тому +9

      @@ys-kv3ug Hard to do when you don't have insurance. :/

    • @therealfinnaspring8585
      @therealfinnaspring8585 4 роки тому +13

      Its so embarrassing when you can't keep it together and cry on the phone when everything reaches a head. Sorry man. Been there it sucks.

  • @Moostery
    @Moostery 10 місяців тому +16

    Don't forget that missing appointments is a reason health care professionals will drop you and refuse to treat you. So you are punished for having ADHD instead of helped.

  • @shaunhoward4681
    @shaunhoward4681 Рік тому +49

    I am very thankful for these videos that you make. As a kid I always struggled just about everywhere but I couldn’t possibly have ADHD because I was too “smart”. It wasn’t til last spring that my mom got diagnosed after a childhood of my parents telling me that I couldn’t possibly have ADHD that I decided to get evaluated. Doctor after doctor and multiple therapists telling me that I’m “just depressed and anxious” or that “it’s just childhood trauma”, telling me to stay on SSRIs. Like, seriously, take me at my word. I cannot focus no matter how hard I try. Starting stimulant medication completely changed my life, but still, I am stressed for the time that I’m going to eventually move, change doctors, and have to go through that process again. ADHD is a disability and I’m sick of not just doctors, but friends and partners treating it like a quirky disposition that I’m choosing to put on. I am a competent adult and I intend to be treated with dignity and respect.

    • @rebekahhobbs9605
      @rebekahhobbs9605 Рік тому +5

      "I am a competent adult and I intend to be treated with dignity and respect." Love this! I have to start telling myself this too.

    • @W1ldTangent
      @W1ldTangent Рік тому +3

      "ADHD is a disability and I’m sick of not just doctors, but friends and partners treating it like a quirky disposition that I’m choosing to put on."
      It doesn't matter how delicately or carefully I explain it, my partner still seems to think that I chose this, and that I'm trying to drive a wedge between us. At the moment I'm doing everything I can to keep us drifting further apart by educating us both, but I don't think she's really believing any of it yet.

    • @neomawzz
      @neomawzz 10 місяців тому +1

      THIS. I was diagnosed about a year ago at 16, So many people have told me that my attempts to explain my behaviour and issues on ADHD (rightfully so!) is me using it as an excuse. It’s Especially when they are also uneducated about ADHD… on top of the fact that NO you do NOT know more about how MY medical condition effects ME than I do?! I know it’s been a while but I hope that the people around you treat you properly now too. It really is frustrating and I really feel for you. Thank you for this comment

  • @NOCLUEinvalid
    @NOCLUEinvalid 4 роки тому +414

    I feel like when the doctor sayings you don’t have adhd, it’s like “oh you don’t have adhd, you are perfectly normal and functioning well” but obviously you are seeking out treatment, you are not functioning well in some way and you owe to yourself to figure out what’s wrong. I wish there was more support but the healthcare system is very constrained in terms of resources and money.

    • @kittycat3638
      @kittycat3638 4 роки тому +2

      Ooooh yeah! Omg I wish ppl were more considerate 😖😥

    • @heidithomas5455
      @heidithomas5455 4 роки тому +16

      Our daughter has autism, but she has had four psychological evaluations and no one ever found her to be autistic. She is fourteen years old and this last psychiatrists finally saw what we saw and she is now labeled as being on the autistic spectrum. First off, the therapist couldn't understand why the other psychiatrists didn't catch her autism, and then he says she is functioning at a higher level. I get no two autisms look alike, but her functioning is so impaired that it makes day to day living a struggle regardless of how much she is autistic.

    • @noahlangseth5196
      @noahlangseth5196 4 роки тому +11

      Way to much stigma around ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD around the same time I was diagnosed with sleep apnea. I mentioned to the doctor at the sleep clinic that I was diagnosed with ADHD and going on Adderall. He told me I didn't have ADHD and that Adderall "helps everyone." Fortunately, I had what I needed from that doctor and never went back to see him ever again.

  • @sadisticD
    @sadisticD 2 роки тому +514

    This would be like making someone with a broken leg walk around to get their cast fitted or get a wheelchair.

    • @anarcho-communist11
      @anarcho-communist11 2 роки тому +14

      @@samarnadra That mentality - to judge people over things you're ignorant about - is most common in conservative states. And conservatives ppl are the main ones who can't accept that ADHD exists. A lot of right wingers are judgmental of poor people, too, and others they don't want to help, but don't want to feel guilty about not helping.

    • @trainerrg
      @trainerrg 2 роки тому +2

      This comment is everything.

    • @colettejohnson945
      @colettejohnson945 2 роки тому +2

      @@anarcho-communist11 Don't make this political. I'm an independent leaning to conservative. You do a disservice to many to label in this manner. Humans don't understand. Political party is not part of it.

    • @manofculture8666
      @manofculture8666 2 роки тому +1

      @@samarnadra These are the kind of people that do everything according to the book, without thinking about common sense.
      It's common sense that someone who is injured and had difficulty walking can't travel to get their crutches.
      But common sense goes out the window, and they're pretty much just reading the script.

    • @michaelstewart3895
      @michaelstewart3895 2 роки тому +2

      and have to do it again every month, and the leg never gets better.
      And x2 a month if you have two separate prescriptions, both controlled substance. And they cant fill one of them for a week or two, so you have to decide whether you dont take one for a couple weeks till you can refill both at the same time or just habe to deal with the pharmacy twice a month.

  • @butterflytessa
    @butterflytessa Рік тому +11

    I am just starting my official diagnosis process but I’ve been sure I’ve had ADHD for years. I reached a point in my therapy where I was ready to address it head on this winter. I watched your TED talk and felt like you were telling my biography. Then I’ve been listening to your videos through my UA-cam premium subscription. Your information has brought me so much peace. Thank you for your work!

    • @HowtoADHD
      @HowtoADHD  Рік тому +4

      Best of luck! I hope the process goes smoothly for you 😊 And thank you so much for your kind words, we're glad our videos could provide you with some peace. And thank you for watching and supporting what we do! 🧡

  • @charlesgomes6266
    @charlesgomes6266 6 місяців тому +7

    I get this. One of the barriers here in Texas is that you need to schedule an appointment every month due to it being a scheduled drug. If I fail to get my pills it takes months to get back on track. Our system is terrible. My God I've learned more about myself from UA-cam then I ever did from a doctor.

  • @carynpinkston1939
    @carynpinkston1939 4 роки тому +307

    This actually describes a lot of the healthcare system - "Oh, you need help for your debilitating condition? Are you sure? Are you really sure? Are you really, really, really sure?" Something here has got to change.

    • @terriashburn5740
      @terriashburn5740 4 роки тому +1

      Hahaha :)

    • @camelopardalis84
      @camelopardalis84 4 роки тому +12

      And then there are people who are in a depressive mood for a while - not suffering from clinical depression! - whose doctors instantly want to give them anti-depressants. And doctors who earn a reputation for being "trigger-happy" when it comes to describing ADHD meds to a lot of children ... As if it were so difficult to do the right thing based on what you know. No, it has to be either refusing people the meds that might help them or overprescription nonsense.

    • @Tigtuohy
      @Tigtuohy 4 роки тому +5

      My ex had a doctor throw his script on the floor and called him an addict when he tried to get his pain meds refilled. No compassion. Now mds are afraid to write scripts for those who truly need them and dope fiends just come up with new scams to trick the system. We are a sad sick country.

    • @ponraul1221
      @ponraul1221 4 роки тому +9

      It’s because of “The War on Drugs” and government subsidizing a few mega pharmaceutical corporations with billions of dollars, plus a library of arbitrary regulations and fine print.

    • @jnreinertson
      @jnreinertson 4 роки тому +7

      When I went to a general practitioner, between the Dr and pharmacy the prior authorizations were a nightmare! Once every year, I’d drop off the prescription, and get a phone call saying the insurance company wouldn’t cover it, and prior authorizations usually take a week.
      So I put a yearly reminder in my calendar, and a month early, I told the pharmacist it was about to expire; would they please start the process, so I don’t run out completely?
      Their answer: “Oh, we never do that until after they’ve refused it.”

  • @dabi5967
    @dabi5967 3 роки тому +894

    I'm glad that I'm not the only one who cries or seems sad when really angry

    • @monochrome_prism
      @monochrome_prism 3 роки тому +18

      Omg yes!! I thought I was weird because I did this. Glad someone else does too :)

    • @xSaraxMxNeffx
      @xSaraxMxNeffx 3 роки тому +39

      its actually really common. I'm not sure why the body's reaction to strong emotions is to constrict breathing and burn your eyes, but here we are. Because of my brand of depression, even on medication; every emotion for me is some flavor of crying.

    • @lisamedla
      @lisamedla 3 роки тому +13

      @@xSaraxMxNeffx According to tumblr crying is an emotional release. With mental health emotions are heightened so anything that causes an overflow of emotions could trigger crying.

    • @M0rbidCuriositea
      @M0rbidCuriositea 3 роки тому +21

      Oh man, this is my experience, too. One time I was completely disrespected by a surgeon, and although I defended myself, I was on the verge of tears during the entire encounter despite my anger. So frustrating that our "aggressive emotion" can come out as "weakness" (in the eyes of others).

    • @misterkaos.357
      @misterkaos.357 3 роки тому +7

      That's my secret....I'm _always_ angry

  • @ruthrahman8289
    @ruthrahman8289 Рік тому +26

    This struck a chord with me. I have ADHD, but I was diagnosed back in 3rd grade started a medicine, taken off that medicine after a short time, and never treated for it again. When I was 18 I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and dealing with the combination of both of these and the medical system that did not believe me or at least thought that I was not as bad was very harmful. I have had agony because I procrastinated calling my pharmacy/doctor/insurance to tell them to call each other and get me the medicine that I needed to just be able to get out of bed so I end up in my bed in pain and agony with huge brain fog on top of ADHD brain that I did not understand calling 2 or all 3 of them to say call the other up to twice a day. This last time that it happened, I spent a month in bed with my boss mad that I was not at work. When I finally got my medicine and went back to work I was given a warning that I could not have any mistakes or I would lose my job. I was just a few minutes late (that was not my fault) and fired. We need to fix the healthcare system and employer attitudes.

  • @triplethreat2226
    @triplethreat2226 Рік тому +6

    Sweetie, I feel for you so much!! I have had a psychologist tell me “it’s learned helplessness.... you need to try harder... it’s anxiety”, when I’ve had multiple professionals say it’s ADHD. After paying out of pocket for that evaluation. Yes, even my university refused to help adapt for me with a referral letter. I withdrew. I am grateful for how I’ve been able to navigate & be resourceful to land my dream job and build off my career to land in instead of struggling through my degree. My wish for the world, is accessibility ❣️🙏🏿

  • @SoliRhymesWithJulie
    @SoliRhymesWithJulie 4 роки тому +256

    US "health" care is such a joke. For those of us with any sort of chronic condition it gets exponentially worse. I'm behind you on everything you've said here.

    • @roselisesullivanbarrett
      @roselisesullivanbarrett 4 роки тому +22

      Especially when chronic health conditions wear the patient down and are something we have to deal with and manage daily. For those with chronic health conditions getting the treatment they need can be out of reach because in order to receive treatment they need to do things and stay on top of things that people with their chronic illness can’t do... WITHOUT TREATMENT to help them. It’s so backwards. A complete catch 22 where you need [x] to get [y] but you can’t get [x] without [y] so then you got to get [y] but you can’t get [y] without [x]... etc. I’ve been exceptionally lucky to have people close to me who can help me advocate for the care I need to get but if I was in a less privileged situation with the health conditions I have I would straight up be unable to get the necessary treatment because I wouldn’t be able to get myself to doctors appointments regularly

    • @livenitup862
      @livenitup862 4 роки тому +1

      L from where in Europe are you from?

    • @junglized
      @junglized 4 роки тому

      @L Where, in the world, are you from?...

    • @janearmstrong7945
      @janearmstrong7945 4 роки тому

      it's really hard for English people to understand the US health care system.

    • @junglized
      @junglized 4 роки тому +2

      @L Let's come back to original question: which EU country are you from? :)

  • @bassetts1899
    @bassetts1899 4 роки тому +197

    I was amazed that after my diagnosis I wasn't offered anything other than meds. There's zero post-diagnosis support for adults.

    • @queencelestyna
      @queencelestyna 4 роки тому +18

      Yep. My psychiatrist suggested therapy, but not because of the adhd--for some grief and trauma that came up in the diagnosis convo.

    • @caitlynd8843
      @caitlynd8843 4 роки тому +10

      Manda Celestyna same. I was offered psychology appointments only because I I have Anxiety Disorder, none of it was because of my ADHD. I had to TELL my psychologist to help me with my adhd before she even mentioned it.

    • @kylev6063
      @kylev6063 4 роки тому

      This was my experience. They just asked me what meds I was in as a kid and prescribed that

    • @riaboyes1299
      @riaboyes1299 4 роки тому +3

      And then most insurances refuse to cover adhd coaching...it's ridiculous.

    • @sarabellin8628
      @sarabellin8628 4 роки тому +2

      I was given a workbook but no tips on completing it so I powered through the first chapter that day and since then it's been in my ever-growing stack of "things I need to get to". I'm grateful to have it, but it's really hard to focus on

  • @gabrellaehioghiren8404
    @gabrellaehioghiren8404 Рік тому +20

    Thank you for being vulnerable because I've been facing this issue for months and I'm glad to know that there is a community out there who knows how I feel. It's been a nightmare figuring out the medical system with ADHD. You and your channel are SO SOOO cherished!

  • @deanreevesii
    @deanreevesii Рік тому +6

    I relate to this so much. Not just that, but when you're in this incredibly angering, frustrating situation -- and you DON'T act calm, collected and neurotypical -- they can turn on you and revoke assistance at their whim.

  • @franklynnn
    @franklynnn 4 роки тому +203

    as a medical assistant with ADHD, i am. forever infuriated and devastated by how UNNECESSARILY chaotic, unorganized, and downright greedy the healthcare system in the USA is. because that's what this is. this is a failure of the system as a whole, in every aspect, not just for mental health but for a staggering majority of conditions. it's shameful.
    the US healthcare system is not patient friendly. period. and it breaks my heart.

    • @Melissa-zr6zw
      @Melissa-zr6zw 4 роки тому +14

      “the US healthcare system is not patient friendly.” omg this. a no-brainer concept and yet we’re holding on to this awful version of a healthcare industry. we need change and i hope it comes within our lifetime. and major kudos to you for being a medical assistant! 💛

    • @lucasfranciscocarmelloguim4610
      @lucasfranciscocarmelloguim4610 4 роки тому +5

      Paige, unfortunately I think this is a reality everywhere. I'm a medical physicist from Brazil, and here we have the same problem. I have ADHD too and work with Quality in Healthcare and it's so difficult to see that the health system likes to be chaotic and unorganized.
      Like Dr. Don Berwick sad, the healthcare system needs systems thinkers, and we, with our gift, are that naturally.

    • @TaraConti
      @TaraConti 4 роки тому +3

      I was a dental assistant for well over a decade and I left because of a combination of exactly what you're saying and having autoimmune issues along with ADHD.
      I just became so disgusted with the field of Dentistry and now over the past few years of trying to take care of my other issues I find that it's not only Dentistry that has fallen apart but pretty much every aspect of Medicine.

    • @amberdow6218
      @amberdow6218 4 роки тому +2

      The US Medical system is a sham
      worse then snake charming medicine men selling holy water.

    • @franklynnn
      @franklynnn 4 роки тому +1

      @@amberdow6218 i wouldn't go that far, if only because the medicine we do practice today can and does save lives, and is backed by science. the main problem within the field is ease of access- both literally, and financially.

  • @agent_star
    @agent_star 4 роки тому +340

    my heart goes out to the americans with ADHD it sounds like it is horrendous there

    • @laurenconrad1799
      @laurenconrad1799 4 роки тому +23

      It is.

    • @aed-9787
      @aed-9787 4 роки тому +3

      Where do you live?

    • @johanna9612
      @johanna9612 4 роки тому +20

      The US definitely has an incredibly sheety health care system! Even in Germany where it's pretty okay normally I experience a lot of the things jess describes. Everybody with adhd probably knows some of these problems and that's so sad, it really shouldn't be like that...

    • @elizabethjones2084
      @elizabethjones2084 4 роки тому +7

      Yeah we're not doing great.

    • @StylishHobo
      @StylishHobo 4 роки тому +2

      The one good thing is that we have access to proper stimulates here. I'd hate to have to survive on Vivanse.

  • @fildorian6867
    @fildorian6867 10 місяців тому +10

    I only learned through your channel that my struggle actually wasnt, what "everyone has to go through in life" as my family and teachers told me. And I only recently understood that no one percieved my struggle as "worth beeing helped" because no one understood it. It was only when my ptsd symptoms got the best of me that I was (finally) diagnosed with adhd, even tho I had much bigger problems then that at the time...

  • @diego2112gaming
    @diego2112gaming Рік тому +4

    I have autism, bipolar, and ADHD. On top of that, I have heart issues. And half the time I can't afford my meds. Right now I'm lucky and can, and I take 'em. But it is so, so, so hard.
    Thank you for this video. It's bloody hard. Mental health matters.

  • @dotexemachina
    @dotexemachina 4 роки тому +122

    my friend suffered the whole ‘you’re too smart thing too’. some people tried to tell me that when I was complaining. why can’t people wrap their head around the fact that you can be smart AND neurodivergent???
    A lot of things are honestly just stress inducing and it makes me even more tired that I already always am

    • @NOCLUEinvalid
      @NOCLUEinvalid 4 роки тому +12

      Yeah being neurodivergent is already stressful and then having everyone deny it is incredibly stressful

    • @ddpwe5269
      @ddpwe5269 4 роки тому +1

      Old stigmas/biases that still seem to be deep-rooted, even in the system.

    • @allisonschmitter8198
      @allisonschmitter8198 4 роки тому +7

      Unfortunately, degree programs for therapists today STILL teach that a kid or adult CAN'T have ADHD if they did well in school. That is completely untrue. Most people who get diagnosed as adults did fine in school but started struggling once in the work world. I did great in school. That was the one reason my mom did not get me tested, even though she always thought I had it. It's a huge misconception that needs to be broken. I loved school and cared about getting good grades, so I applied myself and could pay attention (somewhat). If something interests you and you have ADHD, you will be able to pay attention to it or hyperfocus. I found a lot of workarounds to do well in school, not realizing that I was actually struggling to pay attention. My biggest memory of school was starting into space and daydreaming every day while the teacher talked. I just read the assignments and studied my butt off.

    • @InterbredRollmops
      @InterbredRollmops 4 роки тому +3

      Do you know what was an option on the form me and my psychologist filled out when I got my diagnosis? "High intelligence hid the problems during school". Being "too smart to have ADHD" is so COMMON they have added it to the official forms!

  • @noramcnabb1361
    @noramcnabb1361 4 роки тому +223

    Don’t even start me on how hard it is to have parents who don’t believe in medication, therapy, but still compare me to their neurotypical children. That didn’t even get me extended time on my highschool placement/entrance exam. I should have been in honors, but instead I was in basics with extreme support.

    • @hippybecca
      @hippybecca 4 роки тому +5

      My parents are like this too!

    • @Carlygrrl
      @Carlygrrl 4 роки тому +3

      So sad you both experience this. :(

    • @elenamarco4785
      @elenamarco4785 4 роки тому +7

      Hi Nora! Adhd usually runs in the family in some form. My youngest son was diagnosed this year with add and when I talked to the psycologyst, I told her that I was surprised because I am pretty sure my eldest son was more likely to have adhd. She said " your most probably right that he is adhd but right now he can lead a normal life and your youngest can't". I say we are an Adhd household because I believe I probably have add as well. However still, as a parent it is SO SO HARD and heartbreaking. I want my kids to have a good life without too many hardships and we live in a world where different is n't easy. Therefore, parenting my kids to be "normal" is not as easy and maybe not good for their mental health... as a parent I feel lost in accepting my child and trying to prepare him for life...

    • @noramcnabb1361
      @noramcnabb1361 4 роки тому +10

      Elena Marco, my advice as a 15 year old with adhd innatentive, is to accept his challenges, don’t make fun of them, stop your other family members from making fun of your kid, and put their needs before your beliefs on medication therapy or accommodations. With these things ( love, support, acceptance, school accommodations, medication, and therapy) your child is a lot more likely to not develop anxiety and depression disorders as a result from lack of support. The first three are non-negotiable, but your family can make the decision with your school and doctor on what accommodations would be helpful and if medication could help. Get your kid in therapy before it’s needed. Not only would it give him a place to learn techniques and coping skills, but can also “catch” the depression and anxiety early enough it’s not with them the rest of his life. Also, try and be orderly when getting referrals and iep/504 forms filled out. And if he does get in therapy, check in to see if he likes them. I hated my first therapist but my parents didn’t tell her about my adhd until the last session before she moved away.

    • @elfrog98
      @elfrog98 4 роки тому +2

      @@elenamarco4785 I'm going to have to negotiate this train of thought too, but honestly, everyone has something in life that they find especially difficult - ADHD just happens to be something that has a recognizable pattern and we kind of know what to expect. That being said, I know my older son at least will have difficulties with things that other kids find to be easy, but they're the same things I've always had problems with, so here's hoping we can figure it out together!

  • @mikesayer8924
    @mikesayer8924 Рік тому +9

    I got diagnosed last week with ADHD, I’m 40 tommorow! Your videos have been like a guide for me on what to expect! I know this is an older video but your still appreciated so much because anyone with ADHD watches this it will make more sense because this is real life and real things happening, I have combination adhd and was prescribed with 30mg of elvanse for the first month, day 3 I feel like it’s gonna be ok! Thank you x

  • @anggrimunki
    @anggrimunki 6 місяців тому +2

    45yo man crying here. The only help and support I can afford *is* youtube channels. Diagnosed ADD early 90s, Dex 5mg for a few years, and unmedicated ever since because even in australia I can't afford to be an adult with adhd treatment. Some days its really difficult to not give up.

  • @HowtoADHD
    @HowtoADHD  4 роки тому +1115

    Update --
    1) My doctor said to have the pharmacy fill the prescription for just 1 week, which was cheaper than paying for the full month, while we waited for the pre-authorization.
    2) When the pre-authorization went through, my insurance still wouldn't cover my meds. They aren't in their formulary.
    3) I use a discount card now, which helps a bit, but I still have to tell the pharmacy every month that yes, I understand how expensive it is, before they will fill it.
    4) I'm considering switching back to a medication that didn't work as well for me because my insurance will pay for it.

    • @Barribam
      @Barribam 4 роки тому +94

      I'm a mom to a beautiful Adhd'er like yourself and I just want to give you a virtual hug. I hope that things change soon. You all deserve to live your best lives medication included.

    • @daniek120
      @daniek120 4 роки тому +64

      Hey, everything is going to get better :)

    • @HowtoADHD
      @HowtoADHD  4 роки тому +139

      @@daniek120 thanks :) it's just frustrating. And expensive.

    • @theJoshClark
      @theJoshClark 4 роки тому +109

      I really appreciate how honest and transparent you are about your struggles with ADHD. There’s no simple solution or short answer for a lot of the struggles we go through but it really helps to know that there are others that go through the same difficulties everyday. I hope an easier road is paved for us to work out our lives and be successful with ADHD.

    • @deontoillogical
      @deontoillogical 4 роки тому +104

      I am so upset for you. Legitimately so upset. I wasn't told that my lack of emotional control might have been impacted by my ADHD as well until I found that out mid high school online. You're seriously so important to so many brains and I am so mad at the stupidity here

  • @llTheJVlusicInMell
    @llTheJVlusicInMell 4 роки тому +156

    I dont understand why this is considered a psychiatrist thing in so many countries? Ive been going to a Neurologist for 6 years now and according to him, ADHD is a Neurologist jurisdiction, not a Psychiatrist. As a Psychology graduate, I 100% agree.

    • @bassetts1899
      @bassetts1899 4 роки тому +34

      I'm a psychology masters student and I have to agree with you. At the very least it's neuropsychology.

    • @DjurslandsEfterskole
      @DjurslandsEfterskole 4 роки тому +27

      What's a neurologist? What makes ADHD a neurologist jurisdiction rather than psychiatric? This is the first I'm hearing about this, so I'm very interested to learn more.

    • @gisellerios8037
      @gisellerios8037 4 роки тому +37

      Paraticristi a neurologist is a doctor that specializes in the brain. The thing with adhd is that our brains are different than a normal brain. We have chemical imbalances and other things that make our brains different from everyone else.

    • @92RKID
      @92RKID 4 роки тому +8

      @@DjurslandsEfterskole I agree with the question. I had never thought of that. Glad someone thought to ask!

    • @salomisingh9755
      @salomisingh9755 4 роки тому +16

      A cat with bread on its head I completely agree with you! That’s I’m going to do my masters in neuro psychology. We need more neuro diverse Heath care providers

  • @donnanewby3386
    @donnanewby3386 Рік тому +10

    I am so touched by this.
    Thank you for being so open and honest about your struggles and how you feel.
    A lot of videos out there today are polished, people putting on an act like a thing…..You are real, this is refreshingly real, as are your other videos - you are a blessing to me.
    I am waiting for an autism and ADHD assessment, and I am dying ti understand myself after 39 years of feeling a failure and weirdo. Your videos have given me understanding and much comfort.
    Words cannot express my gratitude - thank you!!!

  • @riley.....
    @riley..... Рік тому +1

    this is stressin me out so bad, i cant finish the video - i've been here many times before, and i appreciate that you feel for those of us who don't have the same resources as you in order to find the help they need. i hope you (and everyone reading this who has been in the same position) are able to find either (1) sufficient health care or (2) healthy and effective coping mechanisms for symtpoms that get in the way of everyday living

  • @freshoutofcrabs
    @freshoutofcrabs 4 роки тому +102

    I know this will probably get buried, but if anyone who reads this is in the Portland metro area and struggling to find a doctor/therapist who can help, contact NW-ADHD. They're an ADHD clinic that provides diagnosis, therapy, skill building groups, and medication management. They do require you to do therapy exclusively through them if you want to try medication, so that is a possible barrier to entry for someone who already has a therapist that they like. However, the benefit is that they approach therapy for depression, anxiety, and more from the perspective of a patient with ADHD rather than someone without it.

    • @ZoidAB
      @ZoidAB 4 роки тому

      Another possibility in the area would be western psychological in Portland & in Vancouver (WA). They don't specialize in ADHD (although there might be some in the practice who do) but do have some group therapy focused at it and some prescribing professionals too

    • @abbeyv4148
      @abbeyv4148 4 роки тому

      Does anyone know of a resource like this near coastal North Carolina?

    • @mxpants4884
      @mxpants4884 4 роки тому

      Or one near Cleveland?

  • @alannakoser1297
    @alannakoser1297 2 роки тому +616

    In one of my ADHD support groups, the moderator asked how many of us have had to educate a mental health professional--someone that was supposed to be treating us--on ADHD, and more than half raised their hands. I think it was ~2/3

    • @ryangenereaux1922
      @ryangenereaux1922 2 роки тому +32

      It's interesting that in a situation like this, the person who has the authority to decide on the accessibility of treatment for adhd, knows less about what the condition and the treatment than the patient themselves. I think there are new ways of thinking that are emerging in the clinical community that are more conducive to the wisdom of the patient about their own experience, so that is good. Many people with ADHD can be current or future experts who are going to be primary educators of mental-health professionals. The struggle is real AND we are in a powerful position to make the future better for others with ADHD.

    • @ralfwashington1502
      @ralfwashington1502 2 роки тому +13

      It was a breath of fresh air for me to see a new doc for getting on meds without them being standoffish. My new doc said "oh I just went to a seminar on ADHD medications" Then they just said the rules and I had to take a drug test and wrote me a prescription. I'm blessed I had a good doc not assuming I'm a drug user/abuser!

    • @lenoio512
      @lenoio512 2 роки тому +6

      @@ralfwashington1502 why do you need to take a drug test? i mean isn't that already bad or do you have to do that legally in your country? I mean you got diagnosed with ADHD why would you need a drug test?

    • @carrieallmon
      @carrieallmon 2 роки тому +5

      I *Love* my current psychiatrist, and I just educated him about body doubling and the Pomodoro Technique two days ago. ❤

    • @Amy401
      @Amy401 2 роки тому +5

      Where did you find adhd support group?? I have been looking since I was recently diagnosed with adult adhd

  • @romanaa7070
    @romanaa7070 8 місяців тому +8

    As a person (specifically us women)on Medicaid with substance abuse history (sober 3+years) living in the bronx, they will never care to make getting a diagnosis available to us. Let alone medication. Let alone stimulant medication. Which is what actually works. In other words. You have to be a certain kind of person to even have the chance of treatment. Knowing I'm not and never will be "that person" just depresses the hell out of me.

    • @nathanwallace3707
      @nathanwallace3707 7 місяців тому

      This must be soo difficult, I am sorry to hear this. I do not understand why the medical world has to be soo difficult and annoying.

    • @EmilyGreen-bf8hz
      @EmilyGreen-bf8hz 2 місяці тому

      Wow, I had never even considered what that must be like. I am so sorry. It's been hard enough for me to get treatment as someone without that kind of history, and even I have dealt with doctors who, though they don't say it, clearly think that I can't possibly have ADHD: since I can sit still and seem intelligent, I must be another drug-seeking college student. I have even had doctors send me for drug screenings the moment I even mention medication. I can't even imagine how impossible it must feel for someone in your situation, and my heart truly goes out to you. You deserve medical care just as much as anyone else.

  • @khisola
    @khisola Рік тому +5

    Commenting on an older video here but. . . I’m 52 and just received an ADHD diagnosis. Your channel has been invaluable as a source of education, relief, and hope to be over these past few days. Just here to say that you’ve no need to apologize for demanding that those whose job it is to help do so at the standard at which you’re doing so. Keep doing what you’re doing. You’re one of the good ones.

  • @PlayLyss
    @PlayLyss 4 роки тому +70

    My psychiatrist told me "if you weren't jumping up and down on tables and disrupting class and getting bad grades as a kid, you don't have ADHD." I feel your pain. It seems impossible sometimes.

    • @DeltaCodeGames
      @DeltaCodeGames 4 роки тому +10

      Many tests don't cover the inattentive type. So if I'm not bouncing off the walls then I can't possibly have adhd. Frustrating.

    • @PlayLyss
      @PlayLyss 4 роки тому +2

      @@DeltaCodeGames exactly. So frustrating.

    • @eros5708
      @eros5708 4 роки тому +3

      This happened to me!! I'm seeking a second opinion elsewhere and I'm going to stand my ground 100%. It's dangerous how little mental health professionals know about most mental health issues.

    • @hippybecca
      @hippybecca 4 роки тому +5

      This. I was one of the "smart kids". I didn't get diagnosed until sophomore year of college when I couldn't keep up anymore and was having mental breakdowns.

    • @InterbredRollmops
      @InterbredRollmops 4 роки тому +3

      @@hippybecca Heeey a fellow college-crasher! I also found out that having to study "on your own time" reaaaally wasn't working...

  • @Ceolmochridbe02
    @Ceolmochridbe02 4 роки тому +86

    Ex-pharm tech here. SOOOOOO Many issues for us just on the pharmacy side of things. Prior authorizations are the most BS thing to ever happen... especially for ADHD. Most ins companies require one for ANYONE over 18 years of age for ADHD medication. It's absolutely ridiculous.

    • @kanakgupta4281
      @kanakgupta4281 4 роки тому +1

      Going through this struggle right now 😭 it’s not right that the doctors opinion matters less than the pharm tech, of course no offense

  • @lenorarowe8533
    @lenorarowe8533 Рік тому +7

    I’m so sorry that you were put in this position. No one should be forced to evaluate the monetary value of their health. Though it’s difficult sometimes, I and many others cannot express how helpful and important it is that you make content like this. So many people struggle to get help and validation for mental illness, including myself. Though it’s difficult, it’s comforting to see we’re not alone and that eventually we can work through medical intolerance and the hoops we have to jump through as a community.

  • @MindytheQuick
    @MindytheQuick Рік тому +9

    I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable. I only recently found your channel, and have begun showing them to my daughter who is 9. She was diagnosed 2 years ago. I watched your video on ableism and it really shifted my thinking as a neurotypical mom of a kid with ADHD. We've recently had some honest discussions about how she experiences the world and me realizing she must feel like she has to be fixed in order to be functional. Because of you I am starting to change the language I use when we talk about strategies to help her function and learn. And because of you I pulled out her bath toys again, and she LOVED it! Many people can change the world, but those with highly creative brains have such a special way of doing it. Keep rocking on.

  • @1o7oMaRcIn1o7o
    @1o7oMaRcIn1o7o 4 роки тому +297

    Being diagnosed with ADHD was a relief but also a tremendous hit, because of how uninformed society and even some doctors are about ADHD. On one hand my life has improved, on another, in my country adult ADHD meds aren't covered by insurance, and I'm terrified of the exact thing that happened to you - if I move to another place, if I need to find another doctor, if I want to travel somewhere and they take my meds away at the airport. Any change in my life will need that extra step of making sure I get my ADHD treatment.

    • @bennyton2560
      @bennyton2560 2 роки тому +1

      They can take your meds away in airports??

  • @KatKomodo
    @KatKomodo 3 роки тому +454

    So many people see ADHD as a moral failing. So many people think I need to try harder. That’s not even to say how hard it is to get medication, or how hard it is to get psychs to take it seriously. It’s so difficult to find someone who even knows how to treat ADHD. YOU have taught me more about ADHD than ANY of the SIX therapists I have seen.

    • @vincentphilippart4669
      @vincentphilippart4669 3 роки тому +20

      This channel is my only qualitative source for support. I've tried so many things, so many professionnals. They never gave me info on myself. They never seem to know what to do with me. "Make a to do list" is the peak of their input.
      Somehow this video made me want to try again, because at least I live in a socialised healthcare system where the administrative burden is much lower.

    • @KatKomodo
      @KatKomodo 3 роки тому +6

      @@vincentphilippart4669 I’m sorry friend. I hope you know many people care and are cheering you on. I hope you find the in-person help you need :)

    • @kmarie3489
      @kmarie3489 3 роки тому +5

      Couldn't agree more! How to ADHD videos are a lifesaver!

    • @elizabethjanetugby4695
      @elizabethjanetugby4695 3 роки тому +5

      Dyslexia is similar in other ways and trying to have help without feeling singled out in a general group is really hard. Hugs.

    • @KatKomodo
      @KatKomodo 3 роки тому

      @@elizabethjanetugby4695 hugs to you friend

  • @reneereichert5585
    @reneereichert5585 Рік тому +2

    Thank you Jessica, for bearing your soul and your struggles, as a medical provider, I battle with ADHD myself and providing my clients with resources, affordable medications, available medications, and going to war with insurance companies to get it paid for. There are providers who understand, and please anyone reading this, do not give up. I continue to learn in this new career path I and hope to grow stronger in my skills for advocacy. I am so grateful for this you tube channel. When I was first diagnosed in Graduate School I was sure they were nuts to tell me that. My therapist recommended this channel and your TED talk. Your voice gave me understanding and feeling that I was not alone. This diagnosis has changed my entire career path, as I am now striving to learn everything I can to help people not feel as lost and hopeless as I did. I continue you suggest this channel to my clients for support and education.

  • @fruitpunch4890
    @fruitpunch4890 Рік тому

    Guuurrrrl, I felt the chaos brewing in my mind and the stress and the overwhelming amount of frustration just by listening to this story. They gave you the run around and put so much on your plate to take care of. Starting fresh isn't always easy.

  • @annazhang1518
    @annazhang1518 4 роки тому +385

    I was part of the “executive team” to co-design Headspace, I advocated for mental health for childrens mental health strategies, I did so many extracurriculars in my school and was even a school leader, I took responsibility for my life to get treatment for ADHD, only to have numberous providers tell me that I don’t have ADHD or that I’ve made it up. I was diagnosed. The medication was working. But no-one believes me either. Jessica ❤️❤️💞Thank you for your videos, you remind me of the fact that I am not alone and that there’s hope. Thank you :)

    • @kellydeltoro-white8097
      @kellydeltoro-white8097 4 роки тому +38

      Hey. I'm a Princeton grad with two master's degrees. People didn't believe I could be ADHD either. BUT I just got very thoroughly evaluated a few months ago by a guy named Dr. Leon Schofield (addexpert.net). He uses the Woodcock Johnson tests, which are really good for getting to the heart of the thing. They're expensive, but I now have solid, data driven paperwork that says 1) Yes, I am definitely combination type ADHD, though I've been masking a long time. 2) I lose around 25% or more of my cognitive capabilities when my ADHD kicks in. 3) I'm really smart (like you) which means that losing 25% of my cognitive capabilities puts me in the average intelligence range, which is why 4) no one ever noticed or believed me. I know it seems like I'm whinging because my disability makes me average. I know that I'm really blessed in the brains department. I also know that I've been struggling just to get by my whole life, and that being smart doesn't make up for the executive skills failures that come with ADHD. And I know that masking is exhausting. I know you've already been diagnosed, but if you haven't already done so, I'd suggest you look into the kind of extensive testing Schofield does, as I think the data will be helpful for convincing the doubters and clarifying to you as your apply your own problem solving skills to your situation. I realize I'm just a voice in the internet, but your words really hit a chord on me. You are definitely not alone.

    • @vinlpaul3
      @vinlpaul3 4 роки тому +7

      @@kellydeltoro-white8097 I feel you. YOu're what's called twice exceptional. I was an excellent tester growing up and scored a perfect score on the SAT Writing POrtion. I read somewhere that 1,000 out of every 1,000,000 test takers earn this score. I got tested in college after wondering why I procrastinated on everything and never planned ahead. GOt by because of my high intellgience. Now on medication- my life has changed for the better, and I have breaks for this luxury, Ferrari brain, (Dr. ned hallowell reference).

    • @qeithwreid7745
      @qeithwreid7745 4 роки тому +2

      You’re great. You’ve helped me lots. Good luck.

    • @lauralauren2402
      @lauralauren2402 4 роки тому +4

      Why do providers automatically judge that we are making up lies to receive medications that...hello actually help!?

    • @terriashburn5740
      @terriashburn5740 4 роки тому

      Wow. wow. and, wow.

  • @arudd909
    @arudd909 2 роки тому +1111

    I'm a licensed Therapist and unfortunately due to lack of training I only just now started looking at getting myself assessed for ADHD after being frustrated with the hyper-focus on the things that were making it hard to focus on the things I wanted to focus on. There is not enough training for treating ADHD, I'm glad to be a clinician who is going though this experience because I know first hand what it is like to have ADHD and to be undiagnosed with it. The fact that I learned more from UA-cam and TikTok about adhd then I did in grad school is alarming to say the least.

    • @devinology7
      @devinology7 2 роки тому +97

      I'm also a mental health professional that likely has ADHD. It is definitely difficult to find anyone with expertise in this, it is viewed as a children's disorder, and not something serious enough to warrant intervention in adults. I'm certain that I was able to lean on natural high intelligence in order to mask it for most of my life. I have just gotten away with never doing my work until the last minute for everything, and somehow succeeding. I'm now interested in becoming an expert in it and specializing in it. I think it has become more prevalent in the internet age (at least many of the symptoms), and that we will see numbers for adults seeking intervention go up.

    • @karenwilson3740
      @karenwilson3740 2 роки тому +11

      I didn't learn ANY of the information I have collected from grad school. I mastered in Administration for family and Community practice.

    • @karenwilson3740
      @karenwilson3740 2 роки тому +18

      @@devinology7 I want to become a coach for ADD/ ADHD.

    • @arich20
      @arich20 2 роки тому +30

      Thank you to each of you. Reading these things from professionals is going a Long way for me as I work to unpack this experience. It means a lot that you commented here - it's easy to feel pressured to gaslight myself when comparing the education I'm receiving online, to the messages I get from the therapists, doctors, parents and teachers in my life who don't believe it's a big deal, or as prevalent as it is.
      The podcast "Are You Sure Doc?" Has an episode on ADHD interviewing specialist Dr. William Dodson - changed my life in the first 15 minutes.
      I've been in and out of therapy for 14 years, and only recently come to understand that ADHD can explain a huge amount of my struggle.

    • @mzartdesigns
      @mzartdesigns 2 роки тому +15

      @@devinology7 same. My good grades even masked it from myself. Plus my parents would point out my behavior and get on my case about changing it so I was forced to suppress it as much as I could but Lord was it a challenge.

  • @Malc4dead
    @Malc4dead 27 днів тому +1

    That was hard to watch but I'm glad you posted the video. I'm very sorry you had to go through this.
    I have a mental disorder and I didn't know how good I had it until my provider retired. I too am on a controlled substance and had difficulty as providers (especially the newer generation of providers) are reluctant to prescribe.
    Providers are afraid. They hear stories of providers losing their license to practice or even being criminally charged because the meds were mistreated, even if it's a one-off case where gross negligence was involved. The result is that providers put pressure on patients, whether it's short-term refills, drug testing, or simply the words they use during patient visits, all out of fear of losing their license. I get it, but if you are in the mental health field, you shouldn't have to practice in fear and certainly should not make your patients suffer because of this.
    I have found a great provider now. I am left with the scars of the war-on-drugs however.

  • @ayshanaliyeva9288
    @ayshanaliyeva9288 Рік тому +3

    Hey! I feel you now, but Im just writing to say thank you. I've suspected I might have adhd for years but I finally got evaluation appointments last months, and got a diagnosis. I was so frustrated when I was told before I cant have ADHD because I was a straight A student and trained to be a neuroscientist. I havent been able to hold a job my entire life, my mind is constantly racing, I had to jump through weird hoops just to get through school and I know something is wrong! And when finally someone believed me I was elated. And then...I was lost. No one gave me advice or support or any guidelines. They just tell you that you cant walk, though you a crutch and close the door. And this is where I wanna express my gratitude for your channel! It has done for me something I thought I would never get. I got so much information, so much compassion and so much hope thanks to you. What you didnt have, you gave to others. That is worth a lot...

  • @dannaalquati
    @dannaalquati 4 роки тому +803

    You have no idea how your channel has helped me❤️

    • @valenbetancourt2777
      @valenbetancourt2777 4 роки тому +8

      @@blackcat6374 Digo lo mismo, gracias a Danna encontré este canal y me ha literalmente cambiado la vida muchas gracias

    • @valeale8851
      @valeale8851 4 роки тому +7

      Gracias por compartir este canal con nosotros :)

    • @St.Raphael...
      @St.Raphael... 4 роки тому +1

      Says the addict of substance...

    • @chimichanga87
      @chimichanga87 3 роки тому

      It’s brave of you to even admit that. It’s wonderful. 😌😘

    • @chimichanga87
      @chimichanga87 3 роки тому +9

      Robert Brinkley maybe try to open your mind a bit? I totally understand how scary/ painful drug addiction can be for a person and everyone around them. It’s horrible.... it’s like a disease.
      I sympathize with every person who is emotionally reacting to stories like this. They think it’s just a buncha drug pushers.
      I will never deny the reality of people who do FAKE ADHD.... and only to abuse the medication. That’s a very real problem .
      That being said..... it needs to be understood that there are people who are very VERY valid for such therapy/ prescriptions. It isn’t some fake fallacy. This is about people’s live’s..... they are trying to understand themselves and succeeded THE SAME that you are everyday.

  • @vladaling219
    @vladaling219 4 роки тому +196

    me to my psychiatrist - i always can't sit still, and always have trouble focusing on things- I move onto another thing as soon as i start the other. Then i always forget things even if they are really important... As well as me having problems with time management....
    my psychiatrist - well don't then... just learn how to manage your time
    *this woman just cured adhd ohmygod*

    • @abigailsmith6977
      @abigailsmith6977 4 роки тому +27

      Ugh. There are so many people in the mental health profession who really shouldn’t be. I had a therapist tell me “just don’t think negative thoughts” about my depression. How uninformed, not to mention utterly unhelpful and insulting!!! I really wonder if some of them got their degrees at diploma mills!

    • @vladaling219
      @vladaling219 4 роки тому +8

      @@abigailsmith6977 I think these kinds of people chose their profession due to their parents, if they loved what they did they would absolutely try to help out without being insulting-.

    • @litchtheshinigami8936
      @litchtheshinigami8936 4 роки тому +11

      🤦🏻‍♀️ just learn to manage your time... god i would have raged at this woman if this was me

    • @Irisicaaa
      @Irisicaaa 4 роки тому +2

      Yes, please just over medicate yourself until you're a literal fking zombie. 🤭

    • @vladaling219
      @vladaling219 4 роки тому +4

      @@Irisicaaa *literally what they mean by- "we will give you a few pills" and then they give you an infinite amount of pills*

  • @emilia2247
    @emilia2247 Рік тому +9

    I am going to write my A-levels in 2 weeks here in Germany. I do everything I can to maintain focus, but it is so f-cking hard, and what you said is damn relatable. Not only that, but I hope, really hope you’ll get better.

    • @Saforra99
      @Saforra99 Рік тому

      Viel Glück! Alles Gute damit

    • @lavi707
      @lavi707 Рік тому

      I just gave my AS levels from April to June. I am beyond exhausted and her situation is so relatable and personally tiring.

  • @sther1349
    @sther1349 Рік тому +2

    I didn’t think that this channel would bring me to tears a 2nd time. The first was discovering someone that understood my condition, and now it’s emotional to see someone else that has gone through the troubles my wife and I have dealt with.

  • @ChrisMurrayEWC
    @ChrisMurrayEWC 3 роки тому +605

    First Dr I saw said I can't have ADHD because "you can focus sometimes if its interesting". How do these people get degrees again!?!? I have another appointment in about an hour so fingers crossed.

    • @kinseydesignsbrands
      @kinseydesignsbrands 3 роки тому +60

      That’s so ridiculous, I’m sorry you talked to someone who clearly doesn’t know what they’re talking about. From my understanding of my ADD brain, it’s that we have an interest based nervous system! We can hyper focus if it’s interesting to us, which is a superpower, but has its kryptonite downsides of avoiding what’s not interesting.

    • @ChrisMurrayEWC
      @ChrisMurrayEWC 3 роки тому +33

      @@kinseydesignsbrands fully agreed! Thankfully when I mentioned it to the clinic they put me in touch with someone who was actually really helpful and that original person is no longer there.

    • @publicserviceannouncement4777
      @publicserviceannouncement4777 2 роки тому +42

      Yeah. I was told adults don't take medication for ADD. That was a lie. I wonder how they still have jobs.

    • @ChrisMurrayEWC
      @ChrisMurrayEWC 2 роки тому +11

      @@publicserviceannouncement4777 thankfully this person was getting out of the field and the new person is getting my medication dialed in. Its made a huge difference.

    • @captainmaim
      @captainmaim 2 роки тому +11

      @@ChrisMurrayEWC Love you both. I got a therapist who was a Socialworker not psychologist, and she started by asking "How in the world are you NOT in prison?" And then she explained how people like me wind up in prison because our impulsivity takes over when we're confronted by idiots. She put me in touch with a good doc, a program to help me get a job/stay employed, everything but a support group... which I'm still afraid of. Maybe I'll get there, maybe not.
      She also pointed out that a LOT of firemen and paramedics have exactly my issues... but because of my physical limitations I can't do those jobs.
      Hang in there. My insurance has a nurseline you can call-in, and a lot of those types of people (nurses) can recommend strategies that they've seen work for people with closed-head trauma or other organic brain damage.

  • @metalxhead
    @metalxhead 4 роки тому +158

    "Don't give up if they dismiss you because you're smart and you've succeeded so far, because you know what it's done to you on the inside to get there." Most emotional part of the video for me. I think many people would be surprised to hear I have ADHD because I have a degree in English and Philosophy. And a college degree. But earning them was really, really hard. My ADHD didn't mean I COULDN'T do it, it just meant that it took so much more effort... but I did it, and I'm now an editor. I still struggle every day. But my ADHD doesn't stop me from doing what I want to do and what I'm good at. It just makes it so much more challenging. My ADHD doesn't make it any less worthwhile to pursue my goals. Don't give up. Never, ever give up. ADHD brains know how much other ADHD brains fight for our place in the world. Don't give up.

    • @GunHolsters
      @GunHolsters 4 роки тому +5

      My daughter is similar to you. She’s been very successful to this point. What people don’t see is her working 5 hours to accomplish what a neurotypical accomplishes in 2 hours. They don’t see her meltdowns resulting from mental exhaustion. Etc.

    • @JAlexMendel
      @JAlexMendel 4 роки тому

      ADD,ADHD,HSP,INFJ.....

    • @JAlexMendel
      @JAlexMendel 4 роки тому

      Roller-coaster life

    • @terriashburn5740
      @terriashburn5740 4 роки тому

      My kid is suppose to be enrolled in Vic rehab program... we still haven’t picked up the paperwork to fill out over a week later.... duhhhh, we have adhd!!!!! Sooo hard!

  • @LisaSchaefer007
    @LisaSchaefer007 9 місяців тому +2

    I just want to give you a hug. I feel frustration a lot when things seem overly complicated. I didn't know that I had ADHD until I watched your videos and was very surprised. I am high functioning, but many of the fights I have had with my spouse are related to ADHD symptoms. I finally got medication to help me with my ADHD and I am trying to get over my fear of the medications. I have had CBT, and it works. But when I get bad sleep or am overly stressed, I have a much more difficult time using the techniques.
    When I have used the medications, I accomplish a lot and I just feel like me. I don't take it every day, but I have taken it on days I want to wade through one of my messes that I just don't want to take care of. Thank you for putting yourself out there and helping me understand myself that much better. Frankly, I am horrified that I wasn't diagnosed as a kid because I am textbook ADHD, except that school was one of my hyperfoci. Just because I had good grades, didn't mean I didn't need help. I've had to compensate in so many ways. I really did think my symptoms were normal.

  • @Grimmvolvo
    @Grimmvolvo 4 дні тому

    I am 54, my life has been an absolute mess I knew I had ADHD but It was very shallow knowledge. Like oh haha I lost my keys wallet and phone at some point today. After a month of actually looking into it and with the help of this channel, my assessment day is two days away. ADHD really is a cluster of puzzle pieces that will make my life's puzzle complete and make my half century on this planet finally make sense. Thank you for this channel.

  • @simon-white
    @simon-white 4 роки тому +167

    The doctor dismissed your chances of having ADHD because you're intelligent? Sounds like they've never heard of neurodiversity - it's a hallmark of neurodiverse conditions like ADHD to have big weaknesses, yes, but also big strengths.
    I like this Venn diagram from Genius Within - it emphasizes that these conditions can come with many strengths www.geniuswithin.co.uk/infographics-and-literature/neuro-diversity-venn-diagram/
    Also, keep up the great work, you're an absolute blessing for newcomers with ADHD. You should feel massively proud of what you've managed to achieve.

    • @jesstheboss2946
      @jesstheboss2946 4 роки тому +1

      Thank you so much for the link!

    • @poisonkeyblade
      @poisonkeyblade 4 роки тому +6

      I have been told I can’t have ADHD because I’m too old and people grow out of it 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @k8mae656
      @k8mae656 4 роки тому

      Hear! Hear!! 👏

    • @clairerandall5742
      @clairerandall5742 4 роки тому +1

      Tali vas Normandy I’ve just been told I have it but am growing out of it and that it’s only mild because I can Hyperfocus on things 🤬🤬🤬🤬 such a joke

    • @Call-me-Al
      @Call-me-Al 4 роки тому +2

      My partner got his autism diagnosis torn up by a doc who was cranky about my partner's high IQ. He felt that it negated my partner's autism.... When my partner got it reinvestigated the new one was baffled because the investigation the first doc had done a more in depth investigation than what is the norm now and it was a no-brainer that he should have an autism diagnosis. My partner was also diagnosed with ADHD. I can't imagine how soul killing it must be to have someone in such a position of power tell you that you don't deserve to be acknowledged just because you test well in exams. That you should be able to be normal and that you should feel bad if you are struggling.

  • @chewingpeppers
    @chewingpeppers 4 роки тому +106

    At one of my first attempts to get diagnosed, I heard that " I don't have ADHD because I never failed a school year. I'm just lazy, unorganized and capable of only doing things I want, without taking anything else into consideration". Our appointment lasted less than 20 minutes. It's been a year, but this still enrages me till this day. I finally got my diagnosis a week ago, fortunately... I wanted to share this, in case anyone went to a similar experience. You're not alone 💜

    • @andreal3239
      @andreal3239 4 роки тому +4

      Thank you for helping me remember that my phone/Netflix addiction is also related to a stereotype, someone said something to me earlier and I couldn’t place what was wrong with it til now

    • @sperth3849
      @sperth3849 4 роки тому +1

      Did you see a psychiatrist or psychologist for diagnosis? I'm trying to get diagnosed and not having any luck finding which one can help

    • @chewingpeppers
      @chewingpeppers 4 роки тому +4

      ​@@sperth3849 I tried neurologists, neuropsychologists and this "professional" I mentioned was a psychiatrist. None of them knew anything about DSM-5 tests and couldn't inform me the procedures to get diagnosed, they'd dismiss me after 20 minutes... then finally, I met a psychologist that worked into the ADHD field for 17 years, and she gave me a proper and detailed feedback! My point is, you should try to find someone who's really specialized in ADHD, who's able to inform you the right procedures... I don't know if there's a more qualified professional, though. I wish I could help you more, but I too felt lost and didn't know how to find quality treatment. What helped me a lot was to research more about ADHD and seek professionals online, to know if they were gonna be able to truly help! Sorry for the long post, I wish you can find the right person to assist you!

    • @hannahherrmann4921
      @hannahherrmann4921 4 роки тому +3

      I want to try to get a diagnosis, because I think I have ADHD and it's bad, but things like this scare me.

    • @jameberlin8539
      @jameberlin8539 4 роки тому +5

      @@hannahherrmann4921 same for me, and my husband. I am also scared of doctors, so the idea of rejection for my issues or having to break these barriers down to access treatment is paralyzing. I'm sorry this system is so broken. I'm sorry society is pushing neuro-diverse people out. It's heartbreaking.

  • @marissazerod3629
    @marissazerod3629 7 місяців тому +1

    This is why I won't start any new medication to help my adhd. Now I'm self medicating in a negative way with other things. Your videos are my opening to adhd coping mechanisms. After my stay in a psychward I can't be open with doctors about my struggles. I am currently struggling to even be able to get my anxiety medication on time most months. There are many chains in America's health care system that are fundamentally broken, so many people are scared from it.

  • @Crystal-gg5wp
    @Crystal-gg5wp 6 місяців тому +1

    I am so sorry Jessica (Jessie?) to hear how impossible it’s been for you. I’m in Canada and have coverage for my meds because I’m on a disability pension for my CPTSD but wouldn’t have any coverage if not for that. Basically I had to have a major breakdown to sometimes get the care I need. But, boy have I struggled to find the right care for therapy and psychiatry. Unbelievable. My heart goes out to you.

  • @makebiscuitsnotwar
    @makebiscuitsnotwar 4 роки тому +181

    On the topic of being told "You don't have ADHD"...
    When I first started looking into treatment as a teenager, I was waiting in a doctor's office reading a favorite book. I was an avid reader. The NP who saw me asked why I was there and I told her that I wanted to seek help for possible ADHD, the first thing she said was "You don't have ADHD. If you did, you'd be bouncing off the walls instead of sitting down reading a book." She tested me for thyroid issues, despite "inattention" being my only symptom of such an issue, and I never heard another thing about it.
    It took ten years for me to get a diagnosis. Mostly because I didn't have insurance for ten years. Even then, I had to pay hundreds of dollars just to be evaluated. Another two years before I was medicated because no one told me my next steps.
    Y'all.

    • @ayamanonymous
      @ayamanonymous 4 роки тому +14

      Oh man, I'm glad I got diagnosed early then for my mostly inattentive type. My cousin is hyper active dominant and his ADHD is obvious. My ADHD was only discovered because I would be so focused on the TV that I would not register my mom calling my name, who was sometimes a few feet away. She thought I had a hearing problem and got me checked out, but my hearing was fine which of course lead to my diagnosis.

    • @Ocelot80524
      @Ocelot80524 4 роки тому +11

      i'm also a bookworm. they don't seem to understand it's a focus PROBLEM, not a total inability to do so :( it doesn't go where we NEED it to people. i think one sign for me was the fact i could not put the book down until it was finished.
      and since the executive dysfunction is such a huge part of it, just focusing on hyperactivity is nuts imo. i don't get why they do that. even for the people with that symptom, it probably doesn't affect them as much as the overall inability to stop one task and initiate another. i need a lot of self bribery and trickery and mental acrobatics just to get basic things done each day. no one sees that until i'm late, but i feel it constantly
      i only "sat still" because my mom was horrible lol. if sneakily repositioning my legs 302874298 times counts as sitting still, sure. oh gosh when i had a creaky chair. i'd rather die from whatever i was sick with than sit by my mom for an hour in a silent waiting room :P

    • @makebiscuitsnotwar
      @makebiscuitsnotwar 4 роки тому +1

      @@Ocelot80524 Dude. The fact that I finished Order of the Phoenix in a single day should have been some kind of clue!!!

    • @curevolcano4501
      @curevolcano4501 4 роки тому +2

      I’ve been diagnosed with Hypothyroidism, despite me going into for a ADHD test. My doctor did say it’s likely that I have both. But my mom won’t believe me because the it can only be 1 thing. No mom, I’ve also done research about this, I have symptoms of adhd that aren’t listed as hypothyroidism. As well the combine symptoms that worsen the two conditions combined. But I guess my mom knows my inside of my brain better than I do.’\°_°/’

    • @silverwings3213
      @silverwings3213 4 роки тому

      @@curevolcano4501 when you get treatment for the thyroid, and its better. But you still have other problems. Point that out to mom. And also lookup adhd morbidity. Very common.

  • @Funny_in_blue
    @Funny_in_blue 4 роки тому +794

    This hit hard. I was diagnosed at 11. I'm 20 now, and I've only RECENTLY started to discover just how much ADHD has affected me. For the longest time I just thought it meant I had trouble focusing. Nobody told me that it can also affect so SO much more like cleaning/clutter managment, emotional control, avoiding things, and much more.
    And when I say recently started discovering, I mean as in a few weeks ago. I've had to learn on my own through this channel and my own research.

    • @duncanvanderlingen1414
      @duncanvanderlingen1414 4 роки тому +30

      I know exactly what you mean, I was diagnosed at 6 and my parents were a great help teaching me what they knew about the medical side of it. I've been medicated since i was 6, I'm now 26 and only now am I noticing the emotional damage and behavioral problems that make life so much harder than it needs to be. I always just thought that i had a lazy personality, or wasn't motivated enough. But even doing a degree that I love and is a great fit for me isn't enough right now, this has been the hardest year of my life.

    • @renee4717
      @renee4717 3 роки тому +10

      Duncan van der Lingen I was never even told what ADHD was and just a few years ago I learned what it even meant, i didn’t know why my brain was this way and I didn’t know what was wrong with me. My mom didn’t even explain it to me other than “there’s something wrong with your brain and you need medicine to fix it”, I never even learned to manage my ADHD because I’ve been on medication for years which I don’t like because I already have problems with eating.

    • @whogavehimafork
      @whogavehimafork 3 роки тому +9

      Im 23 and I only recently made the same realization. It affects absolutely every aspect of my life.

    • @Spherey
      @Spherey 3 роки тому

      i never got diagnosed and im literally older than 11

    • @stubboworld
      @stubboworld 3 роки тому +1

      fluffle demon i was diagnosed at the age of 7 1986. It was horrible on my reflection back on it. The adhd medication an the ones i was on never worked for me. The side effects were always way too overwhelming regardless of the focus an I waited until they wore off an was happy when they were. But this is only me i speak for an since i was 16 i have been off medication an life was what it was until 5 years ago I sought alot of self reflection an understanding an someone to talk to an through that an cannabis i am in a much better place in my life an have the focus I always needed without pharma side effects. But again it was my journey🙂. I do realize therapy does help a-lot.

  • @esthervonhoffmann3429
    @esthervonhoffmann3429 16 днів тому

    You’re the reason why I subscribed to your channel! I turned 60 on 8/8/24 and still trying to learn how to manage my ADD and learn accommodations for it!

  • @TCBC1000
    @TCBC1000 Рік тому +2

    Rant on!!! Please. I've experienced this through my daughter & many others suffering from terminal cancer. Something is terribly wrong when a system allows so many to suffer without necessary medications. Even a few pharmacy workers would drag their feet when my daughter suffered through days without pain medications. Even as her bones were deteriorating her physician jumped through hoops attempting to give her enough pain relief in order to walk.
    Since she also had ADHA there were numerous medications in that category that new psychologists took her off of causing serious problems. Thank goodness she had a great palliative care Dr that helped as much as he could. He ended up handling most of her meds so she could remain simi functional.
    I pay higher fees for my excellent care team. I use discount rx companies to offset some of the expenses.
    From experience I've found some rx companies will offer help. I've also had to switch out one stimulant for another because of outrageous prices.
    This is a sore subject for anyone that has suffered the inferiority of the current system & ignorance of those who allow it to continue as is. Too many entities in charge of our health.
    Our doctors also have a tough job when we need more than the system allows.
    This is a discussion that needs to continue.

  • @melodyjoydawley
    @melodyjoydawley 4 роки тому +75

    My husband and daughter have ADHD. In March, he went to his doctor to get his Rx renewed. His doctor told him that he did not believe that adults can have ADHD and told him he would not prescribe him his medication (this was the start of the pandemic when getting a new provider was no small feat). It took until May to get him in to see a psychologist at the northwest ADHD clinic. A full evaluation was done but he still cannot see the nurse practitioner who will prescribe medication until the end of this month. That’s nearly 6 months of no treatment. This has had real and lasting impacts on our whole family. On Friday, he was fired from his job because of symptoms and behaviors directly related to his untreated adhd. It is Not okay.

  • @emilymichelle8271
    @emilymichelle8271 4 роки тому +313

    WHY DO I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE ADHD CAN GO TO THE GP AND GET ADDERALL AND SOMEONE WHO WAS ACTUALLY DIAGNOSED CANT
    IM MAD

    • @DennisRuhe
      @DennisRuhe 4 роки тому +22

      We haven't learned the correct answers to each question

    • @santacruzskirts
      @santacruzskirts 4 роки тому +8

      Dennis Yes. So where is a good site or book that will tell me which answers are trending now?

    • @Nicole-tc3kd
      @Nicole-tc3kd 4 роки тому +62

      The important thing is to over-exaggerate when describing symptoms to your doctor. Especially if you're a woman or a person of color, because doctors won't believe you (this has been studied and proven). I'll never forget my mom's advice to me, "always tell the doctor that [insert problem here] is RUINING YOUR LIFE".

    • @ohioianscoasters3095
      @ohioianscoasters3095 4 роки тому +2

      Yes that what it’s seems like

    • @Craysv2
      @Craysv2 4 роки тому +1

      a lot of ppl with ADHD sell their adderall... that why its so hard

  • @_Ney__
    @_Ney__ Рік тому +2

    I'm so thankful you finished with "Don't give up." I've been sitting here in tears (yet to get an official diagnosis, have only just realised in the last week or so that this is me! Female mid 40s in Australia and I know, I know, I know, I have ADHD!).
    And today I just want to give up. But I won't.

  • @Cr33pYL1LTh1nG
    @Cr33pYL1LTh1nG Рік тому +1

    I know I’m just a rando fallowed but I wanted to say thank you for making this channel. I have had issues w medication not working and when they put me on stimulants it actually led to an addiction because they were also just umbrellaing my Adam as depression. Your channel on the last month has made my life easier to live and made my relationships with the one in life easier because now I can better explain with in reason why and my my brain is working. Between you and Conner from TikTok…. You two have helped more than most meds I have been on. You have helped give me more direction in figuring my brain out than a doctor and have also helped validate things I struggle with that I feel are a burden to others. So again thank you so much for this channel. Now when I can’t get my meds I feel a little bit better because of the tools I have learned from you and a few other adhd Psychiatrists.

  • @magpiejoneski139
    @magpiejoneski139 4 роки тому +129

    Just today I got accused of manipulating my psychiatrist. I was recently diagnosed and started meds, but had some complications when I realised that the only brand of the med available here in Australia has both gluten and dairy in it, both of which I can't have because of an autoimmune condition. So I had to return the meds, and then jump through hoops to get a new script for a compounding pharmacy to get them to make the medication without these very common allergens, which costs 8 times as much as the regular brand. And somehow me advocating for my own health so I don't take a med containing ingredients that flare my other condition amounts to me manipulating the psychiatrist...
    Idk, I'm honestly so disheartened, this journey has been challenge after challenge, and now I'm going to have to find a new psychiatrist, because there's no way I'm going back to this one who I don't trust, and who clearly doesn't have my best interests at heart. Tired and upset.

    • @Squirl7504
      @Squirl7504 4 роки тому +2

      +

    • @lishange1449
      @lishange1449 4 роки тому +5

      That's so disheartening, and I'm sorry. But you are amazing for doing the hard work of trying to find another psychiatrist, and also good job recognizing that psychiatrist was being a jerk. If it helps to have strangers on the internet validate you and root for you, I am here for it.

    • @oscarwilde9581
      @oscarwilde9581 4 роки тому +9

      I am sorry you had this experience my friend. I am training to be a psychiatrist and I hope to never let my ego get in the way of my patients’ care like this.

    • @TaraConti
      @TaraConti 4 роки тому +4

      I'm so sorry. Honestly it's heartbreaking to hear that. I thought that this was a particularly American problem. But knowing that someone on the other side of the world is having the same issues we are is really disheartening.
      But now you've got me wondering about medications ingredients because I also have autoimmune problems.

    • @strikevipermkII
      @strikevipermkII 4 роки тому +2

      Why does medicine contain dairy?

  • @blakethomson7775
    @blakethomson7775 4 роки тому +208

    Whenever I go to pick up my meds I jokingly say "I'm going to get drugs", because they treat me like they don't trust me. They treat me like I'm buying drugs, not medication.

    • @robb9681
      @robb9681 4 роки тому +5

      Know the feeling

    • @daynabailen4331
      @daynabailen4331 4 роки тому +13

      I can’t tell you how many doctors have treated me like a drug addict. I personally have had a lot of good experiences with pharmacists but I know a lot of people haven’t. This is an issue for chronic pain patients too. A lot of people are committing suicide because of it.

    • @wndybrd78
      @wndybrd78 4 роки тому +6

      I had a pharmacist question me too. It really pisses me off. They aren’t doctors.

    • @chalkedlines8960
      @chalkedlines8960 4 роки тому +1

      Same here. It's ridiculous.

    • @lauralauren2402
      @lauralauren2402 4 роки тому

      *hugs* it's not right!

  • @chriscoyne8034
    @chriscoyne8034 10 місяців тому +1

    THANK-YOU. I can't express just how spot on your experience is with mine. I live in Canada and go through 90% of what you go through on a monthly and yearly basis. This was cathartic knowing that I'm not just screaming into the void. ADD treatment and the care surrounding it has been at best a gauntlet, and at worst punitive for my entire adult life. You are a source of strength for me. I don't know how to communicate my gratitude.

  • @jasonward868
    @jasonward868 2 роки тому +3

    Wow! I am a bit new to your channel and my rediagnosis as an adult with ADHD. It has been a tough few years. I too, recently had the insurance hit me for a pre-authorization. This video hit me pretty hard and couldn’t imagine what you had to go through Your channel is powerful and amazing! Thank you!

  • @IHJR
    @IHJR 4 роки тому +98

    I think we’re still seeing the effects of the stigma that it’s not a “real” illness. Also, I’ve been trying for almost a year to find a therapist for my ADHD and it has been very very difficult even with full mental health coverage through work. The two I have talked with need to watch your videos because they do not understand ADHD. So frustrating and exhausting!

    • @BubblesBear17
      @BubblesBear17 4 роки тому +1

      I don’t see it as an illness myself. I rather see it as a difference. I don’t see it as a disorder either. But it doesn’t mean we don’t need help. The thing is, life and society is built around neurotypical brains. So we don’t fit in. Therefore we need help from neurotypical brains to fit in. So even if I don’t see it as a bad disease or disorder or whatever. We still need help. It’s a difference. One that can make us struggle at times.

  • @HTNPSullivan
    @HTNPSullivan 4 роки тому +302

    My mother, now in her 80s, could have been the poster child for severe ADHD. Being a Mom was overwhelming to her and she had two bad marriages; one husband ended up taking his own life. You can imagine the upbringing me and my brother had on top of both having ADHD. (Both of my brother's sons also have ADHD). I am the only one in this family who sought help for ADHD and the depression that often walks hand and hand with it.
    I'm in my 60s now and I've got some accomplishments to be proud of -- I put myself through an ivy league university (also ended up with a lot of debt) and I was the first member of my family to earn a bachelor's degree (only took 25 years of plugging away at it!).
    I was a reporter for more than 30 years and, I am told, a very good one (probably because of my lively, inquisitive, quirky ADHD brain).
    I published my photography in a couple of national magazines (and got paid!).
    I went through the very rigorous Master Gardener program (but didn't complete it, mostly because my employers back-pedaled on letting me have Fridays off to attend the class) -- and then I found the funding and volunteers to create a large, beautiful community garden on an empty lot in my neighborhood, now in operation for 11 years.
    I also taught writing to adults, was recently a substitute teacher and did some other cool stuff.
    But I also got myself involved with an abusive guy - mentally and verbally controlling and abusive -- precisely because ADHD does a number on your self-esteem and makes you question yourself constantly, and there are people in this world who target insecure people.
    The longer I was with this guy (a total of 11 years before I finally got him out of my life), the more aware I became of what was "wrong" with me, thanks to looking at myself through his eyes. He enjoyed making me doubt myself. For example, because he knew I struggled with remembering things, he would deliberately say he told me something when he didn't (I started writing everything down because I thought I was going nuts).
    I think this is probably one of the worst pitfalls of ADHD, which is not trusting your own instincts and assuming everyone else knows what's best for you, and is "normal." So this can also make it difficult to challenge doctors and other "experts." And to not let people make you feel small because you're often late, or you forget names, or you repeat the same stories, or your apartment is a wreck, and you have this label of ADHD.
    I think this young woman is very brave and very generous and even in my 60s, I can gain more insight from her videos.
    Keep up the good work! Hang tough! You have a lot of support here.

    • @kimifur
      @kimifur 4 роки тому +20

      "I think this is probably one of the worst pitfalls of ADHD, which is not trusting your own instincts and assuming everyone else knows what's best for you, and is "normal."
      OH MY GOSH that's exactly it. My first marriage was like that. It's gaslighting and we're really vulnerable to it for the exact reasons you stated. Thankfully I was finally diagnosed two years ago (aged 35) after a few years of being married to my lovely second husband who has always encouraged me to advocate for myself (unless it's too overwhelming to make my own decision which does happen at times).
      I'm sorry you struggled so hard but look at what you managed to achieve!

    • @dinashomespunfun675
      @dinashomespunfun675 4 роки тому +11

      Wow you have accomplished a lot. I am going to be 50 in a month and have not accomplished anything. I am a mother of two wonderful boys 16. and 11 but it is a daily struggle. I have started a lot of classes and never finish any of them. I hate myself for not having any education other than high school. I took the real estate course to get licensed and never took the test and gave up on that, I took a course to be a phlebotomist finished the course but never pursued getting a job now I am no longer certified....these are the things that I hate the most....Thank you so much for sharing your story very encouraging .

    • @HTNPSullivan
      @HTNPSullivan 4 роки тому +16

      @@dinashomespunfun675 Raising children certainly is an accomplishment! I don't have children mainly because I was afraid I would be a terrible mother. I am easily frustrated and struggle daily with time management, sleep, money management, paperwork, and housekeeping. I was scared that I would be overwhelmed by childcare and possibly be abusive. Just as important, I never found a partner I thought would make a good, stable dad. As for courses, yes it can be hard to stick with them and finish. I think it helps to find ways to make a game or contest out of it, and to give yourself rewards at key points , even little ones like a trip to the park for an hour on your own, or a cheesecake Blizzard at Dairy Queen. Keeping a journal is a good way to track progress, and reminding yourself of your successes can give you a boost. You can also write about whatever threw you off track and try to think of what to do to avoid that glitch in future. Just try not to judge yourself because that steals your zippity do dah. Listening to positive ADHD videos is also encouraging. We can do just about anything, we just need to do stuff our own way. And keep adapting. I hope you will find something satisfying to work towards. Even though you didn't finish your previous courses, you still learned a lot!

    • @dinashomespunfun675
      @dinashomespunfun675 4 роки тому +1

      @@HTNPSullivan Thank you so much!!!

    • @Tigtuohy
      @Tigtuohy 4 роки тому +7

      Dina's Homespun Fun ... forgive yourself
      Today is a new day! You know a lot!
      You are a curious human being-so rare and special. I just turned 64 and started a NEW program yesterday to be a translator. And you think you haven’t finished anything

  • @Monkwithahammer
    @Monkwithahammer 2 роки тому +2

    Hi there. I recently came across your channel and I wanted to thank you for creating it and sharing so much of your own journey.
    I am not a part of the ADHD community and I am not a therapist or doctor. I am a teacher at a private school that specializes in one-on-one education. The majority of our students are neurodiverse. Watching your videos, I am reminded of some of my students with ADHD. Like you, they are incredibly thoughtful people who are amazingly good at explaining the way their brains work and advocating for their needs. I feel like I have learned a lot from them and we have worked together to come up with classroom strategies.
    I feel like the most important thing people in my position, not just educators but also doctors, therapists etc. can do is to LISTEN. I have been watching a number of your videos and feel like I am learning from you. I'm sorry for your struggles but I am glad you can share them.
    I'm commenting on this video in particular because I realized we live in the same city. It can be hard making friends here at the best of times and I wanted to offer you a friendly Seattle hello. I hope things are going well in your life.

  • @MickieMuellerStudio
    @MickieMuellerStudio Рік тому

    I’m literally here trying to teach myself. I’m so sorry you went through that.

  • @ReinetteRenee16
    @ReinetteRenee16 4 роки тому +62

    I have had to walk into my doctor's office in tears trying to get my prescription approved two days earlier because the renewal fell on a weekend and my pharmacy was not open on the weekend. I hated that feeling. I hated feeling like I was seeking drugs when I just didn't want the disruption it would bring. I didn't want the chaos it would bring.

    • @Carlygrrl
      @Carlygrrl 4 роки тому +3

      Hugs. You’re not alone.

  • @susxspense8817
    @susxspense8817 Рік тому +1

    Thank you. Having this problem now. Therapy isn't therapy I have been hell but WE are trying. Hope everyone else has a good day.

  • @savanahdesrocher6021
    @savanahdesrocher6021 3 роки тому +300

    I've learned more from this channel about my ADHD than my parents and doctor......I learn more about my mental illnesses on the internet than the professionals (and my parents)

    • @yashvirbhugwandin3361
      @yashvirbhugwandin3361 2 роки тому +6

      One thing that helped me also as a kid was meditation, it sounds crazy but i found that if was my only soloution, nobody knew what i was going through and 20min in the morning and evening helped me control the hyper energy to a point that i could be productive

    • @yolothegoat1967
      @yolothegoat1967 2 роки тому

      Bruh...

    • @f.b.i9871
      @f.b.i9871 2 роки тому

      Welcome to the internet buddy