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The only way to choose more wisely is to first heal yourself. Give yourself a year after the break up, deal with your own stuff...rise to become a wiser being because of what you experienced. You deserve love.
Fear of being overused; fear of suffocation... My picker was all about Narc men... my picker is healing, so I'm less concerned about abandonment. I fear getting older and less attractive...or not being physically attractive to men. I do fear being alone but also look forward to some alone time. Jonathon...I love your thoughts about the spirituality about being with a life mate!
I have a fear when going into a new relationship that I will be judged for being a creative type, for having lots of things in my household inventory, and that they won't like my pets.
You will be judged for it. By the person who doesn’t like those things. Which means it’s not a good fit and that’s FINE. Nobody has to like anybody else’s lifestyle. Some friends are arm’s length friends. That’s just how it is.
Yes that’s what I’m frustrated about, it’s just so much more enjoyable when you know you can rely on each other get support being emotional intimate just give you so much more security in life. In my case, I just need that to feel whole and to grow as a person I just do better with n a fully committed relationship. And I know that I’m not doing myself a fever being a placeholder for all these other playing house pretend relationship attempts. Just because you’re desired by a lot of men doesn’t mean you should pay any attention to them or. I know eventually the right man will rise to the top. I know I will meet or maybe already met this person I have no doubt. I just need to be patient and have my radar up, not getting caught in the primal needs stage.
You make great points comments etc. I have really learned stuff about me and how to be better person I’m so happy I found you. You’re awesome thank you
🎉You dont "need," but it is nice to feel "wanted". You can only be "ALL in....if you at least take a chance and say a simple word like "hello. " If you can't at least say hello, you will never know the opportunity.....🍉 I've felt fear ... my desire has finally kicked in. I know thyself & my worth🎉 I enjoy your videos.
What if you're dealing with a man who has no fear to loose you. He desires no serious relationship anymore bc casual is good enough for him, and women come and go, sex comes and goes. He was my Significant other and chases me no more. He supports me, integrates me with his friends, BUT (and while I text this he texts me) doesn't wants US no more. It kills me. Dismissive avoidant.
Jonathan, as always your video resonates with me. Unfortunately I have experience of the players and those who haven't done the inner work to go all in, in a relationship. Your words are wisdom and so needed. THANK YOU 🤗 THANK YOU 💗
Great video and I understand your point but I can’t agree that posting a picture on social media means all that much. It really depends on a person’s comfort level of exposing their private lives to the world which is not always the barometer for commitment. I think my BF is a dismissive avoidant or should I say ethical avoidant according to Adam Lane Smith and I am an anxious preoccupied. Regardless of the differences in our attachment styles, we both are very private people and don’t engage in social media much at all. My previous relationship was with a guy who was very open to the public, very expressive and we were even engaged but the relationship failed. Unless there is a guarantee that a relationship will work forever… does it? And could we ever predict that? I believe more than anything, true long lasting love between two people means that each person will make the effort EVERY DAY to consciously commit to the other.
My fear im not in control of things anymore.. my boyfriend wants to do everything for me.. im not use to that.. he’s driven 40 miles each way to come see me every other day.. sometimes every day.. we both are 46yrs old .. I want to express my feminine energy and trust he gots it and he’s not gonna f it up . That’s my fear I’m feeling right now at least.
Is a decision to stay together just make sure is that it’s the right person!! Some partners are no healthy people & one needs to be wise when choosing a partner!!
Hey Jonathan, i actually asked him that exact question, "if i had it, would he be there to hold my hair up and hand me a wet washcloth?? He was all over it with positive attitude and responses😊
Many "relationships" are not real... most are in reality are casual .... God forbid if one becomes I'll....lack of support and emotional availability....fear of being abandoned during life's challenging times. Need not love
Had a boyfriend 7 months he screened my message on my phone and went thru my phone when I was sleeping and I m hard hearing didn't know.shat he was.doing giving my apartment keyback he took his he locked me out broke up with me thru tnenight in which didn't know. When I left his place had no idea he broke up with me😄
I did all that.. photos slide shows of her on my social media and would bust my butt to get sh!t done so that when we were together, my attention was on her.. but was always just an option/ auto mechanic... lesson learned
So sorry you came across this, there's good and bad everywhere I guess... So nice to see there's a serious goodhearted man out there, there's many I know, it's finding one that's the hard part, I wish you luck and happiness and love for your future 🤞🏼🙏💕
Cool 😎, ❤ I remember your slogan a nurse or a purse, funny but true, thanks Jonathon,, have you ever thought about someone like myself, don't want fake people and con artists, been there done that,, lol, I'm not living in delusion ever again
You might have a grower builder, but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna work either so then you have that percentage that may not work so it’s very rare and if you find it hold onto it
@ 11:27 ish, no. Not at all. Just because he posts a picture with you does not mean he’s serious about you. There are men with low self-esteem and low empathy who just eat that stuff up. They would love to post a picture of them with you the confident, successful woman. If they post a picture with you within the first three months no way. I’d go as far as to say within the first six months, because the next thing they’re going to do is pull away, and the picture will disappear. So, no. I totally disagree that if he’s serious about you, he’s going to post a picture with you. This sometimes means that they are trying to gain some type of notoriety by associating themselves in this way with you the successful good looking woman you are lol. I didn’t agree with that other post you made either, and that was the one about the woman who had two dates during her long distance relationship between December 2023 and today, and they have plans to now get married? I’d like an update a year from now thank you very much. Relationship experts know that if a relationship starts fast, it will end faster. I’m still following by the way…M
I completely agree with you 💯💯! There’s no way a picture on social media means much at all for commitment. My ex did all that very early on and the relationship failed. My current BF is very private and does not engage in social media and neither do I but there’s more trust and commitment.
Fear of choosing wrong again. Fear of abandonment. You can have your act together and they don’t after the mask falls. 90 percent of the people lie 90 percent of the time . Scary thought
Maybe you met your match! I wonder if two people that when had a trauma and own it and work on it if they are healed and continue to work on it ..I think they understand each other better and a healthy and other went thru trauma. ..but can’t be with a narcissist
FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching
Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove
How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/
Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com
The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/
Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations
Follow Me On Instagram instagram.com/jonathonaslay/
Join this channel to get access to perks:
ua-cam.com/channels/DOXs_34FF93o66Z-S0py1g.htmljoin
Get a FREE copy of my dating vows here: www.jonathonaslay.com/datingvows
From a man’s perspective like you: For how long should a couple dating before a marriage?
Fear of being fooled into thinking your partner is not really what they pretend to be in the beginning of the relationship.
Fear of being used/abandoned are my biggest fears in relationships
Me too!!!! Yes and think most are using me.
Same here! I’m scared to invest my time and energy. Why my guards are up afraid of getting hurt in the end.
Fear to start liking someone who is not is not all in!!!
I have fears. I’m afraid I’ll pick wrong again. 2 divorces… I don’t want to go through that again. But I would like to find my forever guy.
The only way to choose more wisely is to first heal yourself. Give yourself a year after the break up, deal with your own stuff...rise to become a wiser being because of what you experienced. You deserve love.
@@renette0506 It’s been 10 years. I’ve only recently gone on a couple of dates since my last divorce.
It’s only that people don’t want to take responsibility in keeping a relationship from both end.
Yes
What about people who are not using social media? There are plenty of us.
As I said... this is one example for those on SM
Fear of being overused; fear of suffocation... My picker was all about Narc men... my picker is healing, so I'm less concerned about abandonment. I fear getting older and less attractive...or not being physically attractive to men. I do fear being alone but also look forward to some alone time. Jonathon...I love your thoughts about the spirituality about being with a life mate!
Death and games. I am truly afraid of meeting someone I really don’t know because of a conversation or text from and app.
Agreed!!! Dangerous men!
Wow. This so resonates. Fears and misalignment as a barometer. Wow, this is great for someone like me that is disorganized fearful avoidant. Thank u
Glad you think so!
Yes all in is about when your sick!!!! Yes!!! I agree that many times men are not all in sadly
I have a fear when going into a new relationship that I will be judged for being a creative type, for having lots of things in my household inventory, and that they won't like my pets.
Yes that's true
You will be judged for it. By the person who doesn’t like those things. Which means it’s not a good fit and that’s FINE. Nobody has to like anybody else’s lifestyle. Some friends are arm’s length friends. That’s just how it is.
It’s scary! Fear of being used again and abandoned!
Yes that’s what I’m frustrated about, it’s just so much more enjoyable when you know you can rely on each other get support being emotional intimate just give you so much more security in life. In my case, I just need that to feel whole and to grow as a person I just do better with n a fully committed relationship. And I know that I’m not doing myself a fever being a placeholder for all these other playing house pretend relationship attempts. Just because you’re desired by a lot of men doesn’t mean you should pay any attention to them or. I know eventually the right man will rise to the top. I know I will meet or maybe already met this person I have no doubt. I just need to be patient and have my radar up, not getting caught in the primal needs stage.
I agree 💯
Yes all in could be I’ll pick you up after your MRI.
I love the teaching method from ya and this all is very helpful and making sense for building a relationship
Thank you! Glad it resonates
Happy birthday to all fellow Gemini ♊ 😇♊😇♊♊😇
Thank you 😊
You make great points comments etc. I have really learned stuff about me and how to be better person I’m so happy I found you. You’re awesome thank you
Thank you so much!
🎉You dont "need," but it is nice to feel "wanted". You can only be "ALL in....if you at least take a chance and say a simple word like "hello. " If you can't at least say hello, you will never know the opportunity.....🍉 I've felt fear ... my desire has finally kicked in. I know thyself & my worth🎉 I enjoy your videos.
Thank you for your kind words 🙏
Rejection and not realising the man is using me.
What if you're dealing with a man who has no fear to loose you. He desires no serious relationship anymore bc casual is good enough for him, and women come and go, sex comes and goes. He was my Significant other and chases me no more. He supports me, integrates me with his friends, BUT (and while I text this he texts me) doesn't wants US no more. It kills me. Dismissive avoidant.
Jonathan, as always your video resonates with me.
Unfortunately I have experience of the players and those who haven't done the inner work to go all in, in a relationship.
Your words are wisdom and so needed.
THANK YOU 🤗
THANK YOU 💗
Great video and I understand your point but I can’t agree that posting a picture on social media means all that much. It really depends on a person’s comfort level of exposing their private lives to the world which is not always the barometer for commitment.
I think my BF is a dismissive avoidant or should I say ethical avoidant according to Adam Lane Smith and I am an anxious preoccupied. Regardless of the differences in our attachment styles, we both are very private people and don’t engage in social media much at all. My previous relationship was with a guy who was very open to the public, very expressive and we were even engaged but the relationship failed. Unless there is a guarantee that a relationship will work forever… does it? And could we ever predict that? I believe more than anything, true long lasting love between two people means that each person will make the effort EVERY DAY to consciously commit to the other.
My fear im not in control of things anymore.. my boyfriend wants to do everything for me..
im not use to that..
he’s driven 40 miles each way to come see me every other day.. sometimes every day.. we both are 46yrs old ..
I want to express my feminine energy and trust he gots it and he’s not gonna f it up . That’s my fear I’m feeling right now at least.
Is a decision to stay together just make sure is that it’s the right person!! Some partners are no healthy people & one needs to be wise when choosing a partner!!
I think it goes deeper
Being cheated. That’s a fear
My fear is that he will pull away or end the relationship.
What would happen if he did?
@@Sunlightsam24 I would be hurt and very sad and lonely; have to "lick my wounds again" (heal).
They love to do that after we are attached and that is a blazing red flag that they are unhelwhty!
There will be some misalignment but I think the big things that you value.
God's blessings and healing to all Amen 🍀🙏😇😇🙏😇🙏
Amen 🙏
What About A Man Who Does Not Engage With Social Media?
This video was about those who do...
That was my point too. Not everyone engages in social media. My BF and I are very private people and we don’t flash our lives to the world.
@@kristinej.4182smart!!!! My ex watches my page and could cause issues! Agreed private is good!
I fear every day I’ll lose my mom .. she’s the last we have 💯
Hi jonathon, I enjoy your videos and your humility. Thank you.
I appreciate that!
Will You Be Doing A Video about Other Ways A Man Shows He Is Ready For Commitment Beside Posting A Picture On Social Media?
Maybe they are off social media for a reason and could be a red flag! 🚩 😂
Hey Jonathan, i actually asked him that exact question, "if i had it, would he be there to hold my hair up and hand me a wet washcloth??
He was all over it with positive attitude and responses😊
YAY!
All good common sense advice. Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
Many "relationships" are not real... most are in reality are casual .... God forbid if one becomes I'll....lack of support and emotional availability....fear of being abandoned during life's challenging times.
Need not love
Had a boyfriend 7 months he screened my message on my phone and went thru my phone when I was sleeping and I m hard hearing didn't know.shat he was.doing giving my apartment keyback he took his he locked me out broke up with me thru tnenight in which didn't know. When I left his place had no idea he broke up with me😄
I did all that.. photos slide shows of her on my social media and would bust my butt to get sh!t done so that when we were together, my attention was on her.. but was always just an option/ auto mechanic... lesson learned
You didn't choose the right one. A good one will appreciate everything.
you sound great! her loss she did not appreciate you!
Sending you a hug
So sorry you came across this, there's good and bad everywhere I guess... So nice to see there's a serious goodhearted man out there, there's many I know, it's finding one that's the hard part, I wish you luck and happiness and love for your future 🤞🏼🙏💕
I’m with ya on this…posting on social media doesn’t really mean much for commitment.
Cool 😎, ❤ I remember your slogan a nurse or a purse, funny but true, thanks Jonathon,, have you ever thought about someone like myself, don't want fake people and con artists, been there done that,, lol, I'm not living in delusion ever again
too much emphasis on only looks on the date sites that changes with time, a personality does not
Yes ❤️
@@libbynovotny9979 lol, good point, they say when people show you who they are believe them
Not on dating sites myself
You might have a grower builder, but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna work either so then you have that percentage that may not work so it’s very rare and if you find it hold onto it
I don't think I have the wherewithal to go through the getting to know you, phase.
Good morning everyone! ❤
Hi 👋
@ 11:27 ish, no. Not at all. Just because he posts a picture with you does not mean he’s serious about you. There are men with low self-esteem and low empathy who just eat that stuff up. They would love to post a picture of them with you the confident, successful woman. If they post a picture with you within the first three months no way. I’d go as far as to say within the first six months, because the next thing they’re going to do is pull away, and the picture will disappear. So, no. I totally disagree that if he’s serious about you, he’s going to post a picture with you. This sometimes means that they are trying to gain some type of notoriety by associating themselves in this way with you the successful good looking woman you are lol. I didn’t agree with that other post you made either, and that was the one about the woman who had two dates during her long distance relationship between December 2023 and today, and they have plans to now get married? I’d like an update a year from now thank you very much. Relationship experts know that if a relationship starts fast, it will end faster.
I’m still following by the way…M
I completely agree with you 💯💯! There’s no way a picture on social media means much at all for commitment. My ex did all that very early on and the relationship failed. My current BF is very private and does not engage in social media and neither do I but there’s more trust and commitment.
Fear of choosing wrong again. Fear of abandonment. You can have your act together and they don’t after the mask falls. 90 percent of the people lie 90 percent of the time . Scary thought
Humans lie to themselves
Fear of being used
My life has been a train wreck for 30 yrs
Scavengers trying to truck you into living them when they only want your money.
When he says you’re a borderline. He’s ready! - lol 😂
😂😂
Maybe you met your match! I wonder if two people that when had a trauma and own it and work on it if they are healed and continue to work on it ..I think they understand each other better and a healthy and other went thru trauma. ..but can’t be with a narcissist
Getting played by a player ,,,, although that's not gone happen .
Not if you the player. 😂😂 I’m joking 🙃
Fear of meeting someone for the first time
Hi all creative Geminis!! We are all a work in progress? Let’s do it,and enjoy it.. what other options Are there??
Yes!!
Is it a place holder relationship if it goes on for years?
Thank you for today's information.I truly appreciate it Jonathon!
My pleasure 🙏
Abandonment for me
I understand
🖤🤍🥶
Always takes so long to get to his point. I don’t mind the long talk but I can’t listen when I’m just waiting for the point. I’m out …
❤
💕