FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/ Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/ Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations Follow Me On Instagram instagram.com/jonathonaslay/ Join this channel to get access to perks: ua-cam.com/channels/DOXs_34FF93o66Z-S0py1g.htmljoin Get a FREE copy of my dating vows here: www.jonathonaslay.com/datingvows
At what point does a woman tell the people she dated that she’s looking for a monogamous marriage, and that she doesn’t have sex outside of marriage? Is that going to scare good guys??
Congrats! My man and I just celebrated our 1 year anniversary on the 17th. Hope everything continues to go well, and have fun planning your wedding (and honeymoon)!
1. He's intentional about a serious relationship, and he makes you a priority. 2. He actively tries to help you in your life. 3. He integrates you into his life and he wants to be part of your life.
I totally agree with you! I am a older woman and if a man that I like and want to deepen a friendship with did not make me a priority, with a few exceptions then he is not the one for me!
Also viewed this twice and I agree with you past behavior usually predicts future behavior, more or less creatures of habit, or sadly inviting the same empty trash to fill our emptiness, let's work on filling our cups with joy, hope and faith, we can do that without validation or approval ❤
Many people cannot be alone. I've always had the ability to be alone. I simply stop talking to the mentally deaf. If they're not listening. An important skill in communication. We don't attract the wrong men. We accept the wrong men.
👍 Great information Jonathan. Set your standards, know and understand your standards, so when the right man arrives, you will recognize it and not let him slip away.
My boyfriend, that term seems almost ludicrous at the age of 66, does everything you just talked about, but seems totally uninterested in any kind of physical relationship. We see each other almost every day, he has integrated me into his life, ( we will be traveling together to Wisconsin for his son’s wedding), and he has helped me in several ways. I know I need to have that tough conversation, but to compound things, he’s pretty deaf, even with hearing aids, so having any kind of serious conversation is a huge challenge of having to raise my voice and repeat things over for 2-3 times.
You have definitely helped me with wisdom in my relationship. I have been an exclusive relationship now for four months, and he is showing the signs that he is committed to me! I am thankful.
Thank you so much for verbalising all these things, it gives me such comfort to know a man seeks these things and that this exists. Please bring other men to your channel maybe. Probably already married men, but it will be healing to hear it. I did not have any male role models and my father was silent and absent. Loving but there was never any actual communication or talking. Either with me nor my mother who he loved and was faithful they had 17yrs difference so my mother did not have an equal status even though he did gave her one, she never stood up to what she should be like that, as she was an a independent person before marriage. I hd never had the emotional communication you mention, so am learning it now with dating. I have attracted a very very nice loving man and i hope i am on the right track.🙏🏼
Yeah it stinks these days after been married til do us part after we were together since we dated since I was24 and he was29 since 1987. We got married in 1990 and have 3 adult kids together and we been through it all and he passes away in October of 2021 Dating stinks now 😅
🤣🤣🤣Oh that's good ONE !!! Limp hand shake " like limp noodle " 🤣🤣🤣🤣 . Jonathan I still look at pods !! 💕 For helpful tips on My New Baue !! Very things You mention tonight He does !! 😊 Thank you again for all helpful tips I know lot of things You've mentioned in other segments.Certainly Good tips.
Any advice for long distance relationships start ups ? Something to look for or stay away from ? He’s over 40 and divorced. lots of emotions but kind of that’s all for now. I’m a new follower too but far from USA to be live with you 😞
Jonathon did you watch the SAG Awards and hear Barbara Streisand talking about how the revealing the truth can create intimacy? I thought of you when she said that.
So funny.... I haven't been on here in a while and I had a dream about you the other night. 😂 I have been reading from your book list and they are great reads!!
Being in a committed relationship means agreeing to do the karmic work of self improvement. I think intentional purpose and understanding why humans have intimate relationships in the first place which is to heal and uniquely express their level of divinity. It's not a trade war. It's agreeing to work to remove every false or small thought they ever had of who you thought they were and aligning with soul which is love. If both parties agree that that is the sole or soul purpose for coming together then the connection is off to a very good start. Most humans think themselves into smallness and not enoughness which of course you have stated before. You make wonderful points and have great powers of observation. Evolved societies observe more and find what really works.
I have been following you for a while and think you contribute so much. I can listen to you for ever, but I have a question, why didn’t you do your own book on audible? 😒😒😒😒 it’s been hard for me to get through it, and I really want to listen in. Anyway, I keep trying and will continue watching
Jonathan I loved it Thank you so much and I'm so right on track but it's a situationship He's far away How do I deal with that but he's brought all those points into our relationship
Im (48) in a relationship for about four month. I only know lovebombing until this. He is writing minimum twice a day. He is generous, helping, tender, making Plans, but only wants to see me one time or two a week. Its so hard for me not to seem needy and cool down. My head is full of question marks. Am I needy? Is he right? Is he playing? Can i heal due this? Should i end? Should i keep?
You’re being needy 💗 Men read energy, and demanding, needly, little-girl energy is not attractive or intriguing. YOU are bigger than your emotions, practice being aware of when these thoughts come up, pivot from them to something else, start working on meditations that help drop into the heart, do yoga to get out of your head. Finally, you should be open to other opportunities, he’s not your husband. He will feel that you’re still on the market, and he’ll either lock you down or not-either way, you win!
@@Sunlightsam24 thank you. I do not show it to him. But takes me hard times. One time i said to him i miss him. And normaly i get it, but today is a bad day. I just want to see him more often. Otherwise i dont want to be with an avoidant. One time a week..?! So hard today..😅😭❤ He plans future living together, but how does it work, when there is no time to get to know each other?
@@pferdeklauerin What a great opportunity you have to work through these personal challenges on your own! Personal growth is about going inward every time we notice a challenge to ponder what’s going on with us, you’re on your way! Men read energy. Although you may not say something, they feel it. Saying something like ‘I miss you’ is leaning forward in your energy. That doesn’t feel good to anyone. Every.single.aspect in life has more than one perspective. Instead of creating anxious energy because it’s once a week, you could pivot to another perspective like ‘how great, I get to do my thing and get to spend time with someone I enjoy. I also have time to spend time with someone else if that opportunity arises’. Hopefully you’re not sleeping with this guy when he wants to see you once a week, that he’s taking you out, cooking for you, he’s investing time, labor, listening, humor, money (it’s not what men say, it’s what they do) Also, any guy who is serious will take his woman out on Saturday night. Again, I’m not indicating that you won’t wonder, be in your head, etc. when dating. Keep on learning more about men, how they operate, how to allow him to win you and keep your sovereignty. I’ve dated a ton since my divorce, made every mistake out there, did a lot of personal growth work, learned a lot of how men operate, did therapy, was coached on feminine energy. I had some good longer term relationships, and those men were into me, I just didn’t feel like they were the right fit long term. I’m now in my rest-of-my-life, healthy, happy relationship (with a man who didn’t know what he was looking for, has grown tremendously by us being together (me too) and tells me he feels peace when he spends time with me, or when he’s away traveling for business. Finally, patience! 😘
You are *not* being neddy. In a relationship for 4 months snd he only wants to see you once a week? *maybe* twice? Nah. I call BS. I wouldn't stay in a relationship with those limitations. Why is he calling all tbe shots?
Yes true a lot what you sed,and we should be told a bout who men and woman too deal whith one another,and told too get married too have children know when ready I think 30 best time too get married has know verey little a bout life,and not every one wont's get too get married and have children even at 30 you know noting at eny age we are learning some thing every day and telling people when get too certain age there old not true you need too see woman and men in there 80's 90' how good thy look even at a loo who has the right too tell eny one thy are too old too do eny thing and how too dress and dont have have sex be fore ready orr right man go out whith boy's orr men has friend's that way you find out a bout one another and your how you eat know dont over eat and fast and dont drink orr smoke but were all different think different,so what is fore one is not fore every one,
I like what you're discussing but had to pause through the video, some not all but both men and women engage with outside communications, more devices as you discuss, people can settle for a shot when they could have the full cocktail, breadcrumbs none the less but just to suffice, its become a world with barely personal conversations, i mean really we are all guilty of it with finding a substitute, a sidekick, a temporary fix, it seems the desire to invest, reach out or possibly pursue another has become absent and also sketchy, noone who has been through abuse or trauma usually would be timid to put the out thete, i personally can admit and i know i developed avoidance in my personality, afraid because i know and have done the math on growing up in a dysfunction family and later in life to walk into poor relationships and ignore my gut feelings. To be a codependent and a people pleaser to some degree, I want closeness and a bond with a man but honestly its a mind screw forvme because I don't want to look in the mirror and say again. I allowed it, I was needy, more like deprivation
What does it mean Jonathan when I see my boyfriend every other weekend and the only wants to have sex the night that I get there Saturday night and the next day we just sit around and watch movies and he shows no interest in having sex the next day which is Sunday he does have his son every other week is it just a situationship like you've stated in your videos it's been 5 months he does tell me he loves
Took his profile down we met on the same dating app he has long told me he wanted to be in a committed relationship looking for a life partner but yet it's only about four times a month that I see him every other week when he doesn't have his 16 year old
@@kellynsillaman690 I don’t see an answer to the question so I assume it’s no. Men are all about conserving resources, in caveman days, men had to conserve their energy before going out on the next hunt. If he can see you 4 times a month, enjoys you and your company, gets easy sex, tells you what he knows you want to hear to keep you coming back, why should he do more? He knows you’re not going anywhere and he doesn’t have to win you or compete for you. He assumes that since you accept the situation, you’re good with it. It all makes sense to me from a man’a point of view. If you want to have a fun dating life, to find the man who wants to win you, you’ll have to adopt an alternative perspective and follow through on it. Otherwise, continue on with this situation, accept it and don’t complain or ask for more-it is what it is.
FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching
Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove
How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/
Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com
The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/
Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations
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At what point does a woman tell the people she dated that she’s looking for a monogamous marriage, and that she doesn’t have sex outside of marriage?
Is that going to scare good guys??
My guy asked if I would move in with him, then proposed to me for Valentines Day!
Yay!
Congratulations!
Congratulations! ❤🎉
Congrats! My man and I just celebrated our 1 year anniversary on the 17th. Hope everything continues to go well, and have fun planning your wedding (and honeymoon)!
1. He's intentional about a serious relationship, and he makes you a priority.
2. He actively tries to help you in your life.
3. He integrates you into his life and he wants to be part of your life.
Awe... thanks ☺️
@@JonathonAslay Number 3 is amazing when it happens. He introduces you to his people and includes you with activities.❤
Indeed Tracey
My suggestion is to find one who had two parents raise them, whom they love & respect.
Yes!
I totally agree with you! I am a older woman and if a man that I like and want to deepen a friendship with did not make me a priority, with a few exceptions then he is not the one for me!
Hi Jonathon, I just found this channel. You are such a help. You're a great teacher. Thank you.
Glad you think so!
The most important thing when single is to work on yourself don’t sit around and waiting that somebody gonna save you save yourself
Also viewed this twice and I agree with you past behavior usually predicts future behavior, more or less creatures of habit, or sadly inviting the same empty trash to fill our emptiness, let's work on filling our cups with joy, hope and faith, we can do that without validation or approval ❤
Many people cannot be alone. I've always had the ability to be alone.
I simply stop talking to the mentally deaf. If they're not listening. An important skill in communication.
We don't attract the wrong men. We accept the wrong men.
👍 Great information Jonathan. Set your standards, know and understand your standards, so when the right man arrives, you will recognize it and not let him slip away.
Bingo! History commonly repeats itself. Past performance indicates relationship success.
Exactly
It makes me giggle when you say ‘but Jonathon’!! Keep being you, that’s what we love ❤
😁
Not inviting may be due to the condition of his home after a period of time without a housekeeper.
My boyfriend, that term seems almost ludicrous at the age of 66, does everything you just talked about, but seems totally uninterested in any kind of physical relationship. We see each other almost every day, he has integrated me into his life, ( we will be traveling together to Wisconsin for his son’s wedding), and he has helped me in several ways. I know I need to have that tough conversation, but to compound things, he’s pretty deaf, even with hearing aids, so having any kind of serious conversation is a huge challenge of having to raise my voice and repeat things over for 2-3 times.
You have definitely helped me with wisdom in my relationship. I have been an exclusive relationship now for four months, and he is showing the signs that he is committed to me! I am thankful.
You are so welcome
Thank you so much for verbalising all these things, it gives me such comfort to know a man seeks these things and that this exists.
Please bring other men to your channel maybe. Probably already married men, but it will be healing to hear it.
I did not have any male role models and my father was silent and absent.
Loving but there was never any actual communication or talking. Either with me nor my mother who he loved and was faithful they had 17yrs difference so my mother did not have an equal status even though he did gave her one, she never stood up to what she should be like that, as she was an a independent person before marriage.
I hd never had the emotional communication you mention, so am learning it now with dating. I have attracted a very very nice loving man and i hope i am on the right track.🙏🏼
Clear and simple!!! agreed!!
Yeah it stinks these days after been married til do us part after we were together since we dated since I was24 and he was29 since 1987. We got married in 1990 and have 3 adult kids together and we been through it all and he passes away in October of 2021 Dating stinks now 😅
Really clear signposts. Very helpful video. Thank you. 🙏🏻
Glad it was helpful!
🤣🤣🤣Oh that's good ONE !!! Limp hand shake " like limp noodle " 🤣🤣🤣🤣 .
Jonathan I still look at pods !! 💕 For helpful tips on My New Baue !! Very things You mention tonight He does !! 😊 Thank you again for all helpful tips I know lot of things You've mentioned in other segments.Certainly Good tips.
😁
BIG BIG HUGGS 🫂♥️
Back at ya...
Any advice for long distance relationships start ups ? Something to look for or stay away from ? He’s over 40 and divorced. lots of emotions but kind of that’s all for now. I’m a new follower too but far from USA to be live with you 😞
Yes, pray...
Hi Alexandra Jonathon and Evan Mark Katz have great educational podcasts on long distance.
Thank you.
You're welcome!
Jonathon did you watch the SAG Awards and hear Barbara Streisand talking about how the revealing the truth can create intimacy? I thought of you when she said that.
No, I did not see it... can you send it to me?
@@JonathonAslay Sorry I cant because it was a one off live show on Netflix. 😔
Jonathan. Thanks so much for all your help! Can you do a video on whether or what type of man can change and grow emotionally?
Sure thing!
Your videos are so grounding. I am rereading your book. Thank you for all the great information.
Glad you like them!
So funny.... I haven't been on here in a while and I had a dream about you the other night. 😂 I have been reading from your book list and they are great reads!!
Oh wow!
I always invest more have work on that.
Being in a committed relationship means agreeing to do the karmic work of self improvement. I think intentional purpose and understanding why humans have intimate relationships in the first place which is to heal and uniquely express their level of divinity. It's not a trade war. It's agreeing to work to remove every false or small thought they ever had of who you thought they were and aligning with soul which is love. If both parties agree that that is the sole or soul purpose for coming together then the connection is off to a very good start. Most humans think themselves into smallness and not enoughness which of course you have stated before. You make wonderful points and have great powers of observation. Evolved societies observe more and find what really works.
I agree with you that the reason why we’re in relationship is to clear up that karma to be more aware of ourselves in relationship.
Yeah I’m watching my grandchildren now Mon-Fri and they didn’t like at all.☺️🤔
I have been following you for a while and think you contribute so much. I can listen to you for ever, but I have a question, why didn’t you do your own book on audible? 😒😒😒😒 it’s been hard for me to get through it, and I really want to listen in. Anyway, I keep trying and will continue watching
Excellent thank you 🎉
Yeah it’s not good these days for dating apps lol🤗
Tyvm dear Jonathan!!!!
You're very welcome
Jonathan I loved it Thank you so much and I'm so right on track but it's a situationship He's far away How do I deal with that but he's brought all those points into our relationship
3:20 How do you clean your emotional house? (Good word choice)
Exactly
@@JonathonAslay Do we need to go through each harsh emotional experience individually? To relive it?
@@BeautiHacks It's different for everyone
Weed out and purging people. Deciding what your healthy invested relationships are.
Im (48) in a relationship for about four month. I only know lovebombing until this. He is writing minimum twice a day. He is generous, helping, tender, making Plans, but only wants to see me one time or two a week. Its so hard for me not to seem needy and cool down. My head is full of question marks. Am I needy? Is he right? Is he playing? Can i heal due this? Should i end? Should i keep?
You’re being needy 💗 Men read energy, and demanding, needly, little-girl energy is not attractive or intriguing. YOU are bigger than your emotions, practice being aware of when these thoughts come up, pivot from them to something else, start working on meditations that help drop into the heart, do yoga to get out of your head. Finally, you should be open to other opportunities, he’s not your husband. He will feel that you’re still on the market, and he’ll either lock you down or not-either way, you win!
@@Sunlightsam24 thank you. I do not show it to him. But takes me hard times. One time i said to him i miss him. And normaly i get it, but today is a bad day. I just want to see him more often. Otherwise i dont want to be with an avoidant. One time a week..?! So hard today..😅😭❤ He plans future living together, but how does it work, when there is no time to get to know each other?
@@pferdeklauerin What a great opportunity you have to work through these personal challenges on your own! Personal growth is about going inward every time we notice a challenge to ponder what’s going on with us, you’re on your way!
Men read energy. Although you may not say something, they feel it. Saying something like ‘I miss you’ is leaning forward in your energy. That doesn’t feel good to anyone.
Every.single.aspect in life has more than one perspective. Instead of creating anxious energy because it’s once a week, you could pivot to another perspective like ‘how great, I get to do my thing and get to spend time with someone I enjoy. I also have time to spend time with someone else if that opportunity arises’.
Hopefully you’re not sleeping with this guy when he wants to see you once a week, that he’s taking you out, cooking for you, he’s investing time, labor, listening, humor, money (it’s not what men say, it’s what they do) Also, any guy who is serious will take his woman out on Saturday night.
Again, I’m not indicating that you won’t wonder, be in your head, etc. when dating. Keep on learning more about men, how they operate, how to allow him to win you and keep your sovereignty.
I’ve dated a ton since my divorce, made every mistake out there, did a lot of personal growth work, learned a lot of how men operate, did therapy, was coached on feminine energy. I had some good longer term relationships, and those men were into me, I just didn’t feel like they were the right fit long term. I’m now in my rest-of-my-life, healthy, happy relationship (with a man who didn’t know what he was looking for, has grown tremendously by us being together (me too) and tells me he feels peace when he spends time with me, or when he’s away traveling for business.
Finally, patience! 😘
@@Sunlightsam24 what will man think if a lady dated 4 times (never talked about exclusivity) become open in the market again? Is it a bad sign ?
You are *not* being neddy. In a relationship for 4 months snd he only wants to see you once a week? *maybe* twice? Nah. I call BS. I wouldn't stay in a relationship with those limitations. Why is he calling all tbe shots?
Jonathan voice Lol
But jonathan....
Yeah nope
Yes true a lot what you sed,and we should be told a bout who men and woman too deal whith one another,and told too get married too have children know when ready I think 30 best time too get married has know verey little a bout life,and not every one wont's get too get married and have children even at 30 you know noting at eny age we are learning some thing every day and telling people when get too certain age there old not true you need too see woman and men in there 80's 90' how good thy look even at a loo who has the right too tell eny one thy are too old too do eny thing and how too dress and dont have have sex be fore ready orr right man go out whith boy's orr men has friend's that way you find out a bout one another and your how you eat know dont over eat and fast and dont drink orr smoke but were all different think different,so what is fore one is not fore every one,
I like what you're discussing but had to pause through the video, some not all but both men and women engage with outside communications, more devices as you discuss, people can settle for a shot when they could have the full cocktail, breadcrumbs none the less but just to suffice, its become a world with barely personal conversations, i mean really we are all guilty of it with finding a substitute, a sidekick, a temporary fix, it seems the desire to invest, reach out or possibly pursue another has become absent and also sketchy, noone who has been through abuse or trauma usually would be timid to put the out thete, i personally can admit and i know i developed avoidance in my personality, afraid because i know and have done the math on growing up in a dysfunction family and later in life to walk into poor relationships and ignore my gut feelings. To be a codependent and a people pleaser to some degree, I want closeness and a bond with a man but honestly its a mind screw forvme because I don't want to look in the mirror and say again. I allowed it, I was needy, more like deprivation
I understand... thanks for sharing
@@JonathonAslay appreciated 👍
What does it mean Jonathan when I see my boyfriend every other weekend and the only wants to have sex the night that I get there Saturday night and the next day we just sit around and watch movies and he shows no interest in having sex the next day which is Sunday he does have his son every other week is it just a situationship like you've stated in your videos it's been 5 months he does tell me he loves
Has he asked you to be in a committed exclusive relationship?
@@Sunlightsam24 yes
Took his profile down we met on the same dating app he has long told me he wanted to be in a committed relationship looking for a life partner but yet it's only about four times a month that I see him every other week when he doesn't have his 16 year old
@@kellynsillaman690 I don’t see an answer to the question so I assume it’s no. Men are all about conserving resources, in caveman days, men had to conserve their energy before going out on the next hunt. If he can see you 4 times a month, enjoys you and your company, gets easy sex, tells you what he knows you want to hear to keep you coming back, why should he do more? He knows you’re not going anywhere and he doesn’t have to win you or compete for you. He assumes that since you accept the situation, you’re good with it. It all makes sense to me from a man’a point of view.
If you want to have a fun dating life, to find the man who wants to win you, you’ll have to adopt an alternative perspective and follow through on it. Otherwise, continue on with this situation, accept it and don’t complain or ask for more-it is what it is.
If his thing don’t jump around you .. I find that weird..
I deleted it since you corrected it but you're starting to worry me because you even misspelled oops, are you OK?
Fat thumbs on my part
@@JonathonAslay lol ok
What a crumby relationship lol
Which one?
Bread crumbing I’m getting @@JonathonAslay
Lot of texting occasional getting together and no relationship@@JonathonAslay
Helps financially though @@JonathonAslay