4 dangerous BELIEFS about love that DRAW YOU to narcissists

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 229

  • @AvaJulani
    @AvaJulani 18 днів тому +148

    Thanks, Doctor Ramani: 1) wanting to be chased ... 2) believing in soulmates ... 3) believing in love at first sight ... 4) believing in destiny and magic ... Although I rarely ever deal with the cruel dating world, I always appreciate you keeping it real and helping us stay with reality in real life. You are the strong warrior against the cruel nonsense from cultures and societies. We love you!!!!!

  • @jadegreen1554
    @jadegreen1554 18 днів тому +65

    “Please be careful when EVERYTHING you ever wanted walks in the door. You can lose yourself in a way you can never get it back.”

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !

  • @lorenebaxter-e8c
    @lorenebaxter-e8c 18 днів тому +77

    Never believed in the soulmates 'lovey dovey' idea. But am absolutely convinced that the narcissist is a 'soulless mate' straight to their core.

    • @sacredwaters9
      @sacredwaters9 18 днів тому +7

      😂 Like what you did there! Agree.

    • @DS-wv7lf
      @DS-wv7lf 18 днів тому +2

      😂😂

    • @SherryTomlinson-r2y
      @SherryTomlinson-r2y 18 днів тому +2

      Lol truth- I remember the beginning of soul train a music a dance tv show- S-O-U-l-T-R-A-I-N😊

    • @AlternateAlibi
      @AlternateAlibi 18 днів тому +2

      Omg you and I think alike!! I just had a question for Dr Ramani on her take on souls and the soulless narcissists.

  • @janenerbeaner1673
    @janenerbeaner1673 18 днів тому +51

    I realized the other day that I romanticize trauma bonding ... Something I have to unlearn and stop fantasizing about, so I don't get sucked into the wrong relationship again. I was married to a narc for 15 years and I've been single for over a year now, loving my freedom but BOY is there a lot of emotional crap to clear out and heal, and so much de-programming to do!

  • @ericawarren
    @ericawarren 18 днів тому +47

    I actually have found my soul mate, and it's my beagle! He gets me and I get him, and that's the only soul mate I need.

    • @SherryTomlinson-r2y
      @SherryTomlinson-r2y 18 днів тому +8

      Omg how true! I’m living in a tent. I have the most beautiful cat I’ve ever seen in my life checks in on me sometimes sleeps with me and I feed him. I believe his hat is hanging in my tent lol

    • @JanetMitchell-y8i
      @JanetMitchell-y8i 18 днів тому +4

      I am right there with you. My Coca, my second saving grace, looks into my soul. A connection that a person has never and will never give.

    • @ClaLu
      @ClaLu 17 днів тому +2

      Samesis😅❤❤ I love my pup ❤

    • @ClaLu
      @ClaLu 17 днів тому +1

      ​@@SherryTomlinson-r2yHow are you doing?

    • @SherryTomlinson-r2y
      @SherryTomlinson-r2y 17 днів тому

      @ why you want to go to lunch? Talk about the metaphysical worlds- and technology hacking?

  • @margaretgrace5902
    @margaretgrace5902 18 днів тому +37

    I was too rational to believe in love at first sight or soul mates…and then a narcissist found me.

  • @karentilton4569
    @karentilton4569 18 днів тому +24

    I’m almost 2 years out of a relatively short narcissistic relationship 3 years. My daughter is just leaving a 18 year narcissistic relationship with 3 kids 14,12 & 8. I still have not attempted to forge any new relationships never mind a partner relationship. You’ve helped me greatly in my journey to understand myself. My daughter saw you on a podcast and brought your book. 😊 Thank you 🙏 for doing these videos. God bless you my dear

  • @Amanda-if1wn
    @Amanda-if1wn 18 днів тому +18

    Dang girl you nailed that one! A planet full of people and we are completely alone. Too many people choose to be reptilian.

  • @jadegreen1554
    @jadegreen1554 18 днів тому +18

    “Do I text now? Am I being too needy?”
    They are NOT thinking about you, that’s why they’re not getting back to you.”
    Don’t feel insecure. “They’re just doing what works for them.”
    Someone who hasn’t been SEEN or heard at crucial developmental stages or being conditionally valued as a child makes you NEED validation. The attention the Narc is so good at giving feels validating.

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !

  • @kenshirogenjuro873
    @kenshirogenjuro873 18 днів тому +29

    Having a number of friends who fell into that downward spiral of progressively more destructive relationships with more narcissistic, more abusive partners, my first line of advice I have is the more the person rushes you, the more hyper-idealized they seem, the more you need to slow down. Maybe even flee.
    Sadly there’s this addictive quality to being love-bombed that some people are particularly predisposed to fall prey to making them progressively more vulnerable to worse and worse cycles of abuse.
    Instead of taking each rejection as an indication of personal inadequacy compelling you to believe you need to take even worse abuse the next cycle, you need to step back, evaluate your selection process, your excessive dependence on being love-bombed and not seeing through it to recognize the predator who is propositioning you, and this is exactly what you need to learn to avoid.

    • @sacredwaters9
      @sacredwaters9 18 днів тому +3

      🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 YES, well said

  • @summermoon22
    @summermoon22 18 днів тому +12

    Prey is pursued.

  • @lesabrydson2526
    @lesabrydson2526 18 днів тому +10

    Good afternoon Dr. Ramani, thank you for your words of wisdom. My body is still recovering from the evil i have endured, after falling in the beginning with demonic love bombing 😢. Power Persevering in Prayers Psalms 1-150👑🙏👍

  • @JosephineMarch7
    @JosephineMarch7 18 днів тому +14

    Yes, find the magic in you ❤

  • @veggiet2009
    @veggiet2009 18 днів тому +8

    I have an unusual thought about soul mates. I could believe they exist, but they are aromantic, they could be a life partner, they could be a best friend. But what they are almost certainly not going to be is someone you meet who obsesses over you and tells you "you are my soulmate"

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !

  • @alytaylor8974
    @alytaylor8974 18 днів тому +13

    Thank you Dr Ramani. Nice to be reminded to keep us on track.

  • @rosiep7337
    @rosiep7337 16 днів тому +2

    This describes me and my relationships. Narcissist mother and father so I never knew what a healthy relationship looked like.

  • @lolaviaene6078
    @lolaviaene6078 18 днів тому +30

    Find your magic in yourself! 💜 💜 💜

    • @ktbiwk
      @ktbiwk 18 днів тому +2

      ❤🎉

    • @marianne57
      @marianne57 18 днів тому +3

      Yes. Best comment.

    • @SherryTomlinson-r2y
      @SherryTomlinson-r2y 18 днів тому +1

      Yes - I know no one actually loves me was thinking this this morning. I thought how about loving yourself. So I said screw the world it’s cold and went back to sleep.. lazy day❤

    • @SimplyMulani
      @SimplyMulani 6 днів тому

      And I am ❤❤❤ Everyday 👏👏👏

  • @FragrantGarden3783
    @FragrantGarden3783 14 днів тому +1

    Your voice is familiar like a friend. I feel safe listening to your advice and learning. Thank you

  • @tungstenanderson5991
    @tungstenanderson5991 16 днів тому +2

    "Be nice...always be nice, if you're not nice, "benevolent" entities might notice" and you will be judged. Doormat ensues. Yet people who have done horrible things to you, get pissed when you say no, or when you point out their absolute horrid behavior. "DON'T JUDGE ME!" they say. Even though they are judging you, judging them. They are beyond and above reproach. The lack of self awareness is always on point.

  • @tarajo4836
    @tarajo4836 18 днів тому +10

    Love your help and insight Dr. Ramani

  • @bluesaildoc
    @bluesaildoc 18 днів тому +10

    On the positive side:
    1. Chase your true self, i.e. Love who you are and your dreams without needing another’s validation.
    2. Be your own soulmate
    3. Go SLOW
    4. Watch out for “signs”, sometimes butterflies are just butterflies.
    5. You cannot Change them. Ever, period, ever. Don’t try to help them, heal them, change them. AND don’t change yourself to please them.
    6. “You can be as romantic as you please about love, but you mustn’t be romantic about money” - George Bernard Shaw (I’d be at least $2 million dollars richer today, if I’d known this advice😢)

    • @bereal6590
      @bereal6590 13 днів тому

      Number 1. My narc parents taught me nothing and worked to make me feel bad about myself, in turn I sought all the qring people. Seeking self is far more fulfilling than looking for someone to give what narc parents didn't. It has to be sought and found from self. ✌

  • @MandyGerrans-s9u
    @MandyGerrans-s9u 18 днів тому +8

    Thank you Dr Ramini.
    I've finally walked away after battling with the trauma bond I've carried for so long.
    He hoovered me over various times over the past 18 months and I was weak.
    After the most recent (4 months )relationship and trying to make it work.....again....I can't take any more.
    I watch your video's with new eyes now and radical acceptance has finally clicked into place.
    My heart still breaks but I know he'll never treat me with the love and respect I long for from him.
    Thank you for being there❤x

  • @DS-wv7lf
    @DS-wv7lf 18 днів тому +5

    These videos definitely helping me now to recognize these narcs early on before I jump in. I no longer give people benefit of the doubt when I see the first few red flags. I don't want anymore narcs in my life. Thank you!

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA

  • @jadegreen1554
    @jadegreen1554 18 днів тому +4

    All of these is what percolate through all our ideas about “love”. All the romance movies and stories have these ideas, but they are red-flags in reality with stalker psychopaths and narcissistic people.

  • @youngblood8540
    @youngblood8540 18 днів тому +19

    In the narcissist's mind they're a soul mate for everyone at the same time. They'll order a thousand "I love you, you're the only one", love cards and hand them out to everyone they meet. 😅😂

  • @jadegreen1554
    @jadegreen1554 18 днів тому +8

    “Guess who is better at pursuing than anybody else…?”
    The narcissist.
    “This is where they shine. This pursuit is what provides the fodder for a lifetime of suffering.”
    We don’t need all these pursuits. Look for simple love, not a hyper attentive person.

  • @kattrinaj6575
    @kattrinaj6575 18 днів тому +4

    Thank you for doing this work. It has helped me be real in my situation and end the doubt. I am getting out of blaming myself and also accepting the work I need to do. ❤️💜💚

  • @sbahlepops5619
    @sbahlepops5619 17 днів тому +3

    Definitely wanting to be chased had me in a cycle with a narcissist cause he did pursue and I thought him putting so much effort was a good sign.

  • @jrhc3827
    @jrhc3827 18 днів тому +5

    I don't see the "signs" I've received as guides telling me what to do or whom to love or pursue. But they have been so profound in their synchronicity that they compel me to wonder about the energy in the universe. They are magnificent reminders of existence, or time, or something!, beyond this existence that we cannot (yet?) understand. I don't know what they mean outside of that, if anything. That is more than enough for me. And again, you don't go looking for them. You just remain open to the possibility.

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !

  • @youngblood8540
    @youngblood8540 18 днів тому +51

    When you play stupid love games with a narcissist, you win STUPID PRIZES!

    • @rubberbiscuit99
      @rubberbiscuit99 18 днів тому +7

      🤣 Do you ever!!!!

    • @TraciJamilah
      @TraciJamilah 18 днів тому +4

      FACTS! Return them.

    • @ktbiwk
      @ktbiwk 18 днів тому +7

      "Just 2 lost souls swimming in a fish bowl...year after year.." 😂Pink Floyd lyrics

    • @petrawittler4410
      @petrawittler4410 18 днів тому +1

      @@ktbiwk That's by Pink Floyd? 😯 Which song do you mean?

    • @BrownOrion-z1f
      @BrownOrion-z1f 18 днів тому +4

      "Oooh I one a ticket to trauma and tickets to 3 years of therapy what did you get?"
      We just gotta laugh at it sometimes, and the realization the narcs functionally can't do that is a pleasant reminder of what divides us from them. I learned to appreciate humility, humanity, and love bc I realize some don't have them or outright choose to not express them. Worst offenders being the narc, will apply and pervert them. These sacrade things.

  • @wild_rasp
    @wild_rasp 18 днів тому +11

    I believe the popular or books are basically . Not just the rule of male chasing, the female playing hard to get is also a gendered narcissism thing used to manipulate potential partner

    • @wild_rasp
      @wild_rasp 18 днів тому +7

      The term "game" basically is narcissistic (it implies manipulating), whether about dating or working or anything else

  • @Gardenwitch1954
    @Gardenwitch1954 18 днів тому +6

    You had me at The Love Bombing!

  • @PenninkJacob
    @PenninkJacob 18 днів тому +4

    I used to be a "soul mate-r" twin flames, that was the last stop before I discovered narcissism...👍❤❤❤

  • @deborahklinkner1730
    @deborahklinkner1730 18 днів тому +9

    Lol....only thing I believe is that love grows IF there is a real compatibility. Looking back, my marriage was not based on love for either of us. Love never grew because he pissed me off right after the wedding & never redeemed himself. Friends are ok after that....too independent to ever want anyone in my life again

  • @jrhc3827
    @jrhc3827 18 днів тому +5

    As for "the stars," it intrigues me that more and more studies are finding a correlation between moon phases and human biology. It has been found that the reproductive cycles of marine organisms, for instance, are linked to phases of the moon. There is so much we do not know. ... And it is all so fascinating! But, yes, always ALWAYS proceed with a healthy dose of skepticism, especially in this age of disinformation, misinfirmation, AI, and NARCISSISM.

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !

  • @Tarotlynx
    @Tarotlynx 18 днів тому +5

    When people come to me for tarot readings about romance, as a rule I tend to turn them away from romance most of the time. The tarot seems to think people should develop and understand themselves before they run out and find lifetime partners.

    • @susanbradleyskov9179
      @susanbradleyskov9179 18 днів тому +1

      The really great thing I’ve found about tarot is that I lay out the cards, talk about what they traditionally mean and how those meanings can change with different juxtapositions - the person I’m reading for can take over and read the cards themselves, find out things about themselves and be able to look directly at things they might have obscured for then
      maeve’s. That’s magic! 🙃

  • @MM-xw1jm
    @MM-xw1jm 17 днів тому +2

    This should be required viewing for everyone, once a year

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !!

  • @JustMe-tj4cf
    @JustMe-tj4cf 2 дні тому

    Beautiful Dr. Ramani , I thought it was fate when we saw, at "home" two rainbows on top of each other on a rainy day…what an idiiot- and lost romantic -I was

  • @jadegreen1554
    @jadegreen1554 18 днів тому +2

    When someone comes in with a very strong front game, makes one “feel” the person they’re dating is very “interested”. It takes away ambiguity. It’s better to accept dating will always have ambiguity until you get to know the person.

  • @dodosmamma1692
    @dodosmamma1692 18 днів тому +2

    Your cynicism is so damned real! 💕

  • @joycebisceglia8175
    @joycebisceglia8175 17 днів тому +2

    As my SIL said to me about my now ex and his affair person - you have to have a soul to be soulmates.

  • @Dr.DorisTorres
    @Dr.DorisTorres 18 днів тому +1

    This is great dating advice I will share with my girls. I’ve fallen for #1 and I see it as a strong belief in my older daughter. My MIL also kept insisting on her son and I living a real life soulmate story. This is eye opening. Thank you! 🙏🏼 ❤

  • @nicolefitzgerald8216
    @nicolefitzgerald8216 18 днів тому +1

    Wow! I’m a soulmate believer! I’m NOT NOW! This has happened more times than I can count. No more. Thank you for WAKING ME UP! I was meant to listen.

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !!

  • @jrhc3827
    @jrhc3827 18 днів тому +3

    "Besotted" is a great word choice. I don't want to date anyone who is that disgustingly falling-down drunk with need. And God how I hate dating game-playing in any form.

  • @damianhayes6642
    @damianhayes6642 18 днів тому +1

    thanks for sharing so much with us!! so salute!! had to learn alot share alot!! thank you!!(stay so encouraged cool?)

  • @Theonlysouhail
    @Theonlysouhail 17 днів тому

    Oh my god Dr. romani, you blow mind away, I had to stop the video multiple time to take everything in and then continue, you always open my Eyes for so much things and I could never ask for a better Help, Thank you so Much

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !!

  • @leticiadelgadillo
    @leticiadelgadillo 18 днів тому

    SOOOOOO GOOD! Thank You Dr. Ramani!

  • @rachelrobator2879
    @rachelrobator2879 День тому

    DAMN !!! This speaks exactly to what I just went through & ended .. 😥

  • @shalina7563
    @shalina7563 18 днів тому +1

    This was excellent! Thank you so much for sharing your wealth of information.

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !!

  • @illuminationgoddess3
    @illuminationgoddess3 18 днів тому +5

    Psychopaths, pity, jealous, insecure just ignore them I do.

  • @katatoth7551
    @katatoth7551 18 днів тому +3

    dr Ramani, can you please make a video about how should we identify/build normal relationships after narcissistic childhood ttaumas? siblings+parent+toxic poverty and environment+ toxic culture

    • @Barbara-li5yb
      @Barbara-li5yb 18 днів тому

      Yes! Please!

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !

  • @dianamoore2241
    @dianamoore2241 18 днів тому +3

    When I think about the "love bombing" I got, and liked, its nauseating. But my husband had never been like that to me so I guess I was a "sitting duck" for it.

  • @miakimberley8005
    @miakimberley8005 18 днів тому +15

    We have learn it from fairy tales, novels and movies, Love was somethings else before the movies came.

    • @yukio_saito
      @yukio_saito 18 днів тому

      And from so-called love songs. 😅

    • @SimplyMulani
      @SimplyMulani 6 днів тому +1

      I don’t read or watch these types of things because it bothers me that it’s not real. As a woman I’m supposed to like them but I never have and I’ve felt like there’s so wrong with me a little bit. I don’t now at all but still.

  • @cherrybacon3319
    @cherrybacon3319 18 днів тому +1

    I believe a Soulmate can turn on you just as easily as anyone else. 🍒

  • @jrhc3827
    @jrhc3827 18 днів тому +4

    The concept of twin flame does not necessarily equate to a romantic partner. The relationship can actually be very contentious. It is important to keep an open and skeptical mind, though, about all things metaphysical or New Age. We're all trying to figure out What It's All About. I have had countless innumerable WILD synchronistic occurrences in the last 20 years or so. And as a result, I am convinced there is existence beyond this life. Our perception equipment is so limited!! Even dogs can hear sounds that we cannot! Moreover, after all of the, yes--signs--that I have been gifted, I could not possibly close my mind to the wonder and possibilities of it all. How terribly ungrateful of me that would be! YES! The synchronicities have been that powerful, numerous, and frequent. What happens when we die is the most pressing question in every single person's mind. So I am certainly open to exploration while being ever-mindful of staying grounded in the limitations and demands of this 3D life. One add'l thought: you don't go looking for signs. You just remain open to the possibility, and they seem to flood in.

  • @kdycruz
    @kdycruz 18 днів тому +1

    I don't believe in soul mate situation. We born alone by ourselves with nothing. Thanks for sharing 🙏 peace and blessings

  • @MaryWallace-wv2bn
    @MaryWallace-wv2bn 18 днів тому +9

    I believed “they” were just confident.
    And, I love someone with confidence. 😅
    Nope, they weren’t confident. They were all narcissistic.
    True story

    • @loulane726
      @loulane726 18 днів тому

      🎯💯
      ua-cam.com/users/postUgkxdIBbB9v2jEIcFIrDAoaLy1VGHSzFSDtr?si=Nomfh80Mk2xgq4pn

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !

  • @edwardcarter6408
    @edwardcarter6408 17 днів тому

    Thanks for this insightful information, it's very eye opening.

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !!

  • @joanharder2124
    @joanharder2124 17 днів тому

    One of the things that I’m learning is to be careful about where I’m getting advice. I recall reading in a book that men need to be more “into” you then you’re with them. The author stated that men need this in order to stay committed. So when my soon ex narc to be was clearly more into me I took that as “pro” not a “con”.
    I was wrong!! Just because it’s a famous author etc. I need to check my facts.
    Thank you Dr. Ramani!

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !!

  • @user-7797mty
    @user-7797mty 18 днів тому +1

    I need your help, Dr. Ramani

  • @sbahlepops5619
    @sbahlepops5619 17 днів тому

    This is soon true, great video.

  • @Carol-lynnMulcahy
    @Carol-lynnMulcahy 14 днів тому

    This is exactly what happened to me. I was the "soul mate " believer when I met my partner. I think partly because of the love bombing. But I realize I was at a very vulnerable time in my life. And now I'm like what was I thinking??
    He's definitely NOT that. lol..
    I was a sucker for believing in the fake bullshit. I'm awake now!

  • @tokidoki541
    @tokidoki541 18 днів тому +1

    I FEEL SO CALLED OUT GOODBYE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

  • @thisgirlisoverit
    @thisgirlisoverit 18 днів тому

    I’m taking notes for this one

  • @kat-75
    @kat-75 17 днів тому +1

    They are drawn to me, NOT the other way around. I am not drawn to anyone at all except my Lord.

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !!

  • @Farvie8
    @Farvie8 16 днів тому

    Oh my goodness! "The Rules" was my rule book. 🙄 That didn't work out very well for me....or the children I had with the narcissist. 😑

  • @SimplyMulani
    @SimplyMulani 6 днів тому

    I used to want the romance and fairytale I must say. I wanted everything to me magical and like a dream until I realized how toxic that can be. I’m over it now and I feel like I’m missing out or like my life is a lie. I see things clearly and must say it’s bland. Life feels a little like food without any seasoning.
    I enjoyed the fantasy but it is just that, a fantasy and I’m kind of sad and disappointed about it.
    I’ll get over it, I’m sure. 😢

  • @mortythepug
    @mortythepug 18 днів тому

    Yep. If they seem too good to be true and tell you they"can't wait to marry you" OR you're "best friends", after a few months, RUN!
    Don't wait 13 years, for an epiphany, like I did.

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !!

  • @jadegreen1554
    @jadegreen1554 18 днів тому +2

    The narcissistic bomber expects return on investment: Encroaching on your time, Rushing sex, keeping a pace THEY want… Don’t get carried away.

  • @spiritcat77
    @spiritcat77 18 днів тому +2

    He wanted to move in after a month. Called me his soulmate. He'd never been in love as much as he was with me. He was going to give me everything. I gave him everything. He gave me 12 years of hell.
    I was a prime candidate. Dysfunctional childhood, I had just turned 40, believed in soulmates and one day my prince would come and see how lovable I really was. I no longer believe in romantic soulmates and I am getting therapy but I will never be in a romantic relationship again.

    • @charlee1150
      @charlee1150 17 днів тому +1

      Dang.. i could have wrote this.. change the 12 years to 14

    • @spiritcat77
      @spiritcat77 17 днів тому

      @charlee1150 they are all the same joy destroying narcs.

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !!

  • @ericalbright7210
    @ericalbright7210 18 днів тому +1

    Christine Albright
    "Brilliant video"🙏!...
    "Thank you"🙏!...
    "+"!..."🙏"!...

  • @HeidiRausch
    @HeidiRausch 18 днів тому

    Practical advice is helpful most of the time. I also know that the word "magic" is synonymous with "psychic.".....I personally believe in the objective psyche

  • @jrhc3827
    @jrhc3827 18 днів тому

    Totally agree with you that Jerry Maguire was a narcissistic love story. Blech.

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !

  • @grapesoda3414
    @grapesoda3414 18 днів тому

    Find the magic in yourself ❤

  • @estherfriedman2075
    @estherfriedman2075 18 днів тому

    Dr Ramani, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the 70s trope, "Love means never having to say you're sorry..." I believe that it comes from the move titled, "Love Story".

  • @kathiemihindukulasuriya1538
    @kathiemihindukulasuriya1538 17 днів тому +1

    I hated The Rules - how do you build a real relationship with a fake persona? I wanted a person who loved the real me, not a fake me.

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !!

  • @rubybluez
    @rubybluez 18 днів тому +1

    We both had dogs named spot! Lol 😂

  • @Summer_Harvest
    @Summer_Harvest 17 днів тому

    I feel so stupid. After my first failed marriage (to my mothers sil) I went to University.
    That was my dad, he said you are going back to finish your degree.
    I had a daughter. I was not thinking of marriage or more children.
    My husband worked with my father and asked about me. I don't even know the truth of that now. I've heard 3 different versions about my dad, his, and himself.
    Anyway, I had responsibilities beyond dating and that caused problems and we would take breaks.
    I was out of a bad relationship so I was in therapy and he would go and showed concern for me and my daughter.
    One break just started and he showed up at the apartment across from me (my friends) with flowers and gifts.
    In all of the ups and downs I told my therapist this isn't right. This isn't good for my daughter. I was going to break it off. She talked me out of it because he was concerned...
    I feel like my gut was telling me. I feel like if I say this I will be judged as cold. I know she had no reason to see the signs.
    It is what it is.

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !!

  • @Sherirose1
    @Sherirose1 17 днів тому

    Im offended by this video because I am naive and believed in soulmate. This is exactly my experience and I was put on ice from2017-2024 , still healing.

  • @rubberbiscuit99
    @rubberbiscuit99 18 днів тому

    My narc sister loved The Rules. I never read it. Not that I knew what the hell I was doing.

  • @christelleny
    @christelleny 17 днів тому +1

    It could be simpler than that. How about WANTING TO BE LOVED/WANTED? I don't know about you all but the few Narcs that made it into my life didn't have to do much to make it there. They just had to make me believe they loved me/wanted me as a partner. For some of us raised being told we're nothing special and everything is wrong with us, that can be just enough...

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !!

  • @trudiegordon6327
    @trudiegordon6327 18 днів тому

    Yes you are right but a man I met in a supermarket 24 years ago blew my mind and he and I stayed in touch all this time by email and met a few times but it lasted and on first sight it was attraction but also culturally brought up in the same way in England with good manners and respect. He was not married then but went on to marry and have children. I did not want any more children. Now he is free it is tricky to navigate but the pull is still there. We learn more and more about each other and he is a sensitive soul like me so even though you could call the first meeting superficial and attraction that has lasted well on to s quarter of a century.

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA

  • @sjsmith4053
    @sjsmith4053 17 днів тому

    My boyfriend of 15 years was dieing in hospital and told my daughter I was his soulmate.he was a wonderful amazing person.I do not believe life has just one tho.my ex husband still is in a different way we have a daughter n humour in common and if he wasn't alcoholic we would have worked out.I had a narcissist ex for 7 years was no way a soulmate and my sons father was not ....soulmate is a term that takes years no way should folk jump at it in a month ! Thank you.

  • @marianiedernhuber1183
    @marianiedernhuber1183 18 днів тому

    anti-cupid! loving it

  • @AlternateAlibi
    @AlternateAlibi 18 днів тому +1

    Now you’re talking about souls…or soul-mates. I was referring more about actual souls and enquiring about your educated opinion on narcissistic non empathetic selfish to a detrimental affect on the people narcissists prey on. Could you discuss the “trend” in people being conditioned to become narcissistic in today’s social media/media/enlightened world please. The whole topic is fascinating to me. Souls and soulless

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !

  • @KikaFulmini
    @KikaFulmini 16 днів тому

    Let’s not judge “soulmate people” too much though hah. Empathy & compassion

  • @meridianmoon-2
    @meridianmoon-2 15 днів тому

    Twin Flames are never abusive! And for soul mates-karmic ones are for lessons to learn on your own path-some take longer to learn than others! But abuse is abuse-love isn’t a factor in those relationships-but is for those “true” soul mates…not all who believe in either of those take it to mean they are “destined” to stay with an asshole narcissist-narcs often use that as lovebombing tactic! Anyone who really isn’t living in “”fantasy” but can still believe in those things-won’t tolerate a narc for very long. Truly being aligned or “enlightened” or open to healing and growth knows going in abuse is NOT a factor of either concept unless they are hanging onto that for other “self” reasons-low self worth, family patterns, negative self talk narrative, etc needing to still be worked through on their own…so not everyone who believes in those concepts are that naive or “blind” to a narc and their abuse. It’s a little more complicated -the individuals who seem to be portrayed in this video are not integrated or vibrating at a higher level of consciousness-but trying to get their presumed needs met through tolerating the narc BS-justifying it-etc….like the whole “if I love him/her enough they’ll change/stop/etc…”. Love this channel-not trying to create dissension/arguments…just do treat these individuals and see this all the time.

  • @hugo3358
    @hugo3358 18 днів тому +1

    Ah, the rules and regulations of Dr. Ram leaning toward liking many and loving none, the philosophy that love is more an idea than an emotion. Personally think some people should love humanity as a whole because this simply suits their personality type. But for those who love life and love, someone who couldn't live without it, then I would say heed Dr. Ram's warning because there are obviously parasitic, predatory narcissist who would enjoy adding you to their victim list. Not sure if everyone has a soul out there to be found, Matt Fraser is a very influential psychic and he said we all have a soulmate and if you don't get to experience in this world, you will get to meet them in heaven, again not sure.

  • @angelaobrien3609
    @angelaobrien3609 18 днів тому

    I never go with the guy who pursues me. I usually waste lifetimes WAITING/living my life) for the guy I'm crazy about.

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !!

  • @eniggma9353
    @eniggma9353 18 днів тому +1

    soulmates is a hollywood thing

  • @tiffanysabey1159
    @tiffanysabey1159 18 днів тому

    I find if I go to playback speed and put it on 1.5, it's perfect.

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !

    • @tiffanysabey1159
      @tiffanysabey1159 16 днів тому

      @DoctorRamani1s Does wanting to speed up videos mean I have issues? I do it to almost every video I watch.

  • @jadegreen1554
    @jadegreen1554 18 днів тому

    Soulmates never work out. People who were married for 60years said they married their best friend.

  • @Spartacus2474
    @Spartacus2474 18 днів тому +1

    Plato started it and Disney kept it on.

  • @annstar2793
    @annstar2793 17 днів тому

    I don’t believe in any of this, like how it’s being described at least, and they still find me.

  • @bountybreaks
    @bountybreaks 18 днів тому +2

    Magic is best served with a healthy side of discernment! However…could it all be about Quantum Frequency🤔 In a world of individual energy footprints collectively entangled, is it possible this idea or feeling of soulmates has more to do with a form of electromagnetism that compels two individuals of similar frequency into a dance of harmonious energies (like gravitational pull)? Perhaps it is our thought’s ability to evolve/devolve conscious/subconscious frequency or even outside energetic influences that create fluctuations in frequency, positively or negatively, that cause destabilization of the original harmonic union🤔 Is it possible that those still dancing together 50 years later, are those couples who mutually worked together on maintaining each other’s matching frequencies and/or are so energetically aligned with each other that over time, they literally fuse as one combined frequency? Could this explain the sometimes unexplainable sudden decline of a spouse after the other passes🤔 I wonder if, narcissism and personality issues aside, there is something more universal at play when two pairs of eyes randomly meet or when two souls who previously all but ignored each other suddenly click🤔 Perhaps the fairy tale is only as meaningfully tangible as an individual is willing and able to perceive it as a possibility🦄🍀🌈❤

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !

  • @steveberzins
    @steveberzins 18 днів тому

    Movie recommendation
    Justin Morgan had a horse.
    At the end, imagine the good guy wasn't so good

    • @MonikaColognes-9
      @MonikaColognes-9 16 днів тому

      My helpline is as follows!
      ... Firstly, plus 1214
      ... Secondly 817
      ... Lastly 6210
      I need to clarify a few things and share some important information and details with you. I'll be expecting it on WA !

  • @merlinwizard1000
    @merlinwizard1000 18 днів тому +1

    2nd, 3 November 2024

  • @Freethnkr
    @Freethnkr 18 днів тому

    I'm sorry I do believe in love and being in love, not a soul-mate or love at first sight but genuine love because without it we're just 2 human beings hanging out everyday and I need a more concrete connection...
    I've moved past the superficial love bombing/charismatic/charming type of emotions and behaviors. They aren't real. I would rather have straightforward honesty about how you feel and what your expectations are.

  • @GregMunro
    @GregMunro 16 днів тому

    A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient

    • @TrentReeves-c2k
      @TrentReeves-c2k 16 днів тому

      There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

    • @GregMunro
      @GregMunro 16 днів тому

      Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..

    • @TrentReeves-c2k
      @TrentReeves-c2k 16 днів тому

      This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

    • @GregMunro
      @GregMunro 16 днів тому

      You wont regret it

  • @IoanaGheorghe-rj1de
    @IoanaGheorghe-rj1de 18 днів тому +5

    I cant get someone out of my head, I cant accept the betrade, I still want that person back, the one I meet at first. I am still confuze , i know is my fault... I still think this was one în a life... I was discarded în an incredibile way...I am still în shock

    • @dianamoore2241
      @dianamoore2241 18 днів тому +3

      I'm sorry you are feeling so upset but take heart, eventually, you can get better and be glad you are doing well. 🙏

    • @brigitte2217
      @brigitte2217 18 днів тому +1

      Me too 😢❤from Germany

    • @paulalane8638
      @paulalane8638 18 днів тому +6

      Take it from a 68 year old who was discarded by someone I believed was my "soul mate". Do not waste your life on them. Real love does not discard and invalidate another. Love yourself and never get attached to someone who does not validate you. Heal first. Time will bring healing. The more you realize they were a fraud, plus your worth, you will be relieved. I've been there.❤

    • @brigitte2217
      @brigitte2217 18 днів тому

      @@paulalane8638 Dear Paula I'm 66 now and totally terryfied. Kind greetings from Brigitte from Germany ❤️

    • @dianamoore2241
      @dianamoore2241 18 днів тому

      @@brigitte2217 ..... Hello from Knoxville Tennessee USA....I was in a Narcissistic friendship for 10 years with a woman I knew from my job. I had no clue what Narcissistic people were about. But after she accused me of something I didn't do, I began pulling away from her. Then, I found out that such people accuse others of doing things there themselves had done. It's called "projection". I'm in good shape now and she is in a Nursing home with Dementia.