You are HILARIOUS! I just discovered you. Love the bit where the wife keeps firing the pistol even after the ammo is gone, then just throws the gun at his poor dead body!
My husband - before bed EVERY NIGHT - goes to the bathroom then clears his throat and blows his nose. I once put these words on a tape recorder as to what he does every night and when he got into bed.....I played the tape for him. We laughed. :)
Are you kidding me? I just discovered you and must admit that you are SPOT ON! LOL....binged watched you while hubby was making his famous pancakes this morning. Blessings! Beverly
I died when the chainsaw and gun shots sound came out LOLOL. And I'm a guy. I think because all men are afraid of that actually happening just a little bit. Lol
I'm guessing one is a big avoider of confrontation. They just continually suppress irritation either because they think they are supposed to or because confrontations make them anxious.
This is awesome!!!! And soooo relatable...the frustrations of a relationship...it's the little things that can get you everytime ...rotfl!!! My ribs hurt from the laughter...
We've all thought about how pleasant life would be if our spouse just wasn't there anymore. But soon we would be lonely and out looking for a new one. Thinking it will be different this time
@@NoOne-gx2wc That is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. The reason why we only had two arguments is because we only had two occasions that required an argument. The rest of the time it was a peaceful marriage.
Jeff Allen you really funny my daughter and her fiance meant you personally I saw their picture on Facebook with you I really love that shirt you're wearing thanks for sharing and making me laugh
Pretty much X on the map just had me giving the best continental legal advice a 5th grade bar exam pass score could give from a resentment of a childhood boyfriend who we were making world peace with together and it worked! And I have to keep working on it in essays! Undelay! Mi'amore esquala! In USA!
The school is in USA and you must speak with your native tongue, so I was like alright. They said, why are you in esquala? I said because I want to graduate with an A in Spanish as a second language and advance to Latin; medical latin. They said congrats. Go live your life. You already speak USA. But I want to speak Spanish. I need Spanish class. They said fraud Spanish. I said no, I no speak it. I have Spanish amigos and amigas. Fraud! Teacher say. I said what's Spanish for sorry? The principal said go home and teach your foster sister at the youth shelter how to speak English. I said si! I can. Teacher say, "Yes like that."
The teacher at equals at first seemed angered at me but I realise she must of thought I enrolled in the school, when someone else did for me at 13 years old. I spoke Spanglish to my foster shelter sister at the shelter and she was nervous to go to school. She said you go for me see what they say. I said, come on you'll do fine. She said I no speak but espanial. I said OK sister amiga I tell teacher you need school. She said I need my momma and esquala. And she cry; I hug her and I say "just don't cry; I go for you." I have to find my amiga's momma too and my babies too. And my amiga's family that separated not right. I work beside amiga and amigo and we are teams too and we are America. For a historical reason that has to bring us together.
If you haven't had a fight in 7 years I think there's something wrong. Ok maybe you're just two very contented people, but more often it's an indication of a lack of passion or interest.
Yeah I look at happy couples and realize I could never last a moment in their relationship. Too boring They live in harmony with each other and it works for them
@Fiona Dovina this was not nice. I do not why you sent me a link like this. Yes I like women. But I really did not appreciate you attaching a link like this. It makes me feel like you were trying to sabotage me. We are all weak. But I do not need anymore temptation that will get me off my path. Thank you.
I tend to think that if a woman kills her husband, then says she was all out of choices, he was either brutally abusive and she was desperate, back to the wall frame of mind, or she was completely psycho. I'm going to go with abused and desperate
Me and my wife have been married for ten years now and I have been thru a lot three years ago she fell off the wagon and got back into meth and cheating on me several times and dcfs took her children we where raising good children bad situation and my life changed we lost our house and a twenty five thousand dollar car that was rammed into a house by addict's and she has been to jail 8 times in three years I just bailed her out twice in September and now she's wanting to be clean and sober I hope she will I met her in 2008 she was 4 years clean and sober I'm a truck driver so I'm not home but a day and a half a week so It's hard on me and I'm going through it again and again and again trying to fix everything
She's got to really want to change. Otherwise, this will be your life until she dies. I'm asking The Lord God Almighty for His devine intervention. In Jesus's powerful name.
It wasn't that she didn't have any choices it's that she wanted to do something evil and blame anything and anyone except herself which is where the responsibility actually laid
Why do women NOT let their husband know that they have a grievance instead of letting it build up and build up over time? I’ve been on the receiving end of one of these flame outs which featured not only the main issue, but also a list of lesser ones that predate it.
Burps? Oh hell no, my husband gets up and farts his way to the bathroom, farts his way to the sofa from there, farts whenever he gets up or whenever a commercial comes on, or he starts laughing at something on youtube, and he chuckles with his entire body, and with every bounce those farts come out a little at a time.....this is after 34 years of marriage. There's times I think he could create a little tune with those farts......
I wasn't even considering what i did, security camera right on us .. I'm so mad ,all morning I had a headache from nonsense pure nonsense. I'm walking behind him , because he was going fast out of the store and he was NOT going to get my heels .Without a thought, there went my tongue out behind his back. I'd been a good girl , .. ha White knuckling my fury isn't a good girl I know and not only that I'm almost 52 .. my daughters are women, so I'm " supposed to" be better than this. I can picture people looking at me ,look at that immature lady omgsh. I felt trapped and I wanted to express myself and I knew if I said ANYTHING it would just suck my life blood and air out of my being and I just might drop dead 🤔hmmm.. Anyway, this helped thanks Jeff.
Wow as a Canadian I really don't find the gun scenario funny I suppose for us gun ownership isn't a right it's a privilege I guess that's the big difference in our sense of humor.3cheers from Canada
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #30 ДВА В ОДНОМ [Один человек]• Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/nrXy15orKhY/mqdefault.jpg)
I just discovered Jeff and caught his testimony of finding Jesus...he's now got a new fan!
Where did you find his testimony at?! I have been looking for it as well!
@@tannercook8095 it's on yt
You tube his name and pick his time on bananas it’ll be at the end of his time that you’ll hear his testimony
You are HILARIOUS! I just discovered you. Love the bit where the wife keeps firing the pistol even after the ammo is gone, then just throws the gun at his poor dead body!
Kathy Bolyanatz I was pissing myself and then "little harsh for church" 😂😂😂😂
He has his own official UA-cam channel! Jeff Allen. I am sure he will be likely to see the comment if it's there instead.
That is hilarious.... And clean. I am done with people making double meaning jokes and sexual innuendos.
Check out the dry bar comedy Channel on UA-cam, it's all clean comedy 😍
Nothing like good wholesome jokes about murder to clean up those evil terrible jokes about sex!
Maple Leaf : exactly my thoughts!😂
Amen brother
Mystical Unicorn the fact that the gun ran outa bullets killed me cachig cachig cachig cachig.....
My husband - before bed EVERY NIGHT - goes to the bathroom then clears his throat and blows his nose. I once put these words on a tape recorder as to what he does every night and when he got into bed.....I played the tape for him. We laughed. :)
Are you kidding me? I just discovered you and must admit that you are SPOT ON! LOL....binged watched you while hubby was making his famous pancakes this morning. Blessings! Beverly
GarysOnlyGal *** I have bad news Beverly, I’m also one of Gary’s gals 👀😭
You are marriage to a female?
Reika Ratnam she did say hubby darling, means husband
The sound effects were. Phenomenal!!!!!!! Too good
I died when the chainsaw and gun shots sound came out LOLOL. And I'm a guy. I think because all men are afraid of that actually happening just a little bit. Lol
I've seen that look from many fembots, one even asked me "how would you like to get your head ripped off” with a murderous gleam in their eyes
The clicking of the empty gun was the ultimate for me. ROF;!! is not good enough
Excellent marital counseling 😀
My husband thinks it's funny TOO maybe I should show him this B-4 I run outta choices.
@It's About Time The devil you know is better than the devil you don't know right?!..lol
Dying laughing here-while husband keeps looking at me, worried.😂😂😂😂
Way to go, Jeff. I just choked on a tortilla chip at the chainsaw part.
Just discovered this guy!!! This is my kind of humour!!!
?Little harsh for church? I was busting a gut!!! So funny
They talk about someone being tortured on a piece of wood but this is too much?
I think I hurt myself laughing !!
Same here
@@2degucitas
Fyþtþ
The couple that didn't argue in 7 years must not have kids.
They shouldnt lie in church!
The couple that doesn't argue is an accident waiting to happen. It's my opinion based on experience and observation oh, but he's still a great comic.
I'm guessing one is a big avoider of confrontation. They just continually suppress irritation either because they think they are supposed to or because confrontations make them anxious.
Andrea Miller that’s a very common thing, agree completely
@@andreamiller3578 Or because they have enough trust in each other and know how to deal maturely.
I love this guy I'm subscribing and I hope he's the one posting the video because he needs to know how much we love him.
lmaoooo chainsaw noises the best 😂😂😂😂 def gotta practice my chainsaw sound effects after this
That chain saw lift was so realistic.. lol
Oh my gosh...this guy is so stinking hilarious!!
This is awesome!!!! And soooo relatable...the frustrations of a relationship...it's the little things that can get you everytime ...rotfl!!! My ribs hurt from the laughter...
We've all thought about how pleasant life would be if our spouse just wasn't there anymore.
But soon we would be lonely and out looking for a new one.
Thinking it will be different this time
Ty Jeff been married 25 yrs what a ride brother.
25 years of marriage - some times a pain you have to experience to comprehend. Oh, ye the plentyful flavors of hell hahaha
I Love Jeff Allen he and Bill Engvall are my Favorite Comedians 😁😂❤
..... REAL PISSED OFF COUPLES ..... AND A VERY FUNNY GUY! ......
LOVE IT!
Hysterical actually
I was married for 8 years. We only had two arguments. Six months after we got married and six months before we got divorced
Maybe if you argued more your marriage would have work
@@NoOne-gx2wc That is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. The reason why we only had two arguments is because we only had two occasions that required an argument. The rest of the time it was a peaceful marriage.
Na Na and that’s why your marriage failed.... if you would have seen a therapist he would have told you augments are healthy....
@@NoOne-gx2wc Re-read my last message
This used to be in a one hour long video on UA-cam. Now someone chopped it all up and you can’t find it on UA-cam. Thanks.
"That's not the joke" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This one cracked me up!!!😂😂😂
He had it coming.
He had it coming.
He only had himself to blame.
😂
Funniest clean comedien out there
Well it’s been five years, and I’m still alive..
A little harsh for church........brilliant stuff
My wife can't start the chainsaw. Now I'm wondering how my end will come.
😂😂😂😂omg! Sooooo true! Men can drive us crazy! But we do the same to them. That's what makes it fun😉😉
thank you
You're awesome :D
Jeff Allen you really funny my daughter and her fiance meant you personally I saw their picture on Facebook with you I really love that shirt you're wearing thanks for sharing and making me laugh
Thank you for the funny
I love him
Pretty much X on the map just had me giving the best continental legal advice a 5th grade bar exam pass score could give from a resentment of a childhood boyfriend who we were making world peace with together and it worked! And I have to keep working on it in essays! Undelay! Mi'amore esquala! In USA!
The school is in USA and you must speak with your native tongue, so I was like alright. They said, why are you in esquala? I said because I want to graduate with an A in Spanish as a second language and advance to Latin; medical latin. They said congrats. Go live your life. You already speak USA. But I want to speak Spanish. I need Spanish class. They said fraud Spanish. I said no, I no speak it. I have Spanish amigos and amigas. Fraud! Teacher say. I said what's Spanish for sorry? The principal said go home and teach your foster sister at the youth shelter how to speak English. I said si! I can. Teacher say, "Yes like that."
The teacher at equals at first seemed angered at me but I realise she must of thought I enrolled in the school, when someone else did for me at 13 years old. I spoke Spanglish to my foster shelter sister at the shelter and she was nervous to go to school. She said you go for me see what they say. I said, come on you'll do fine. She said I no speak but espanial. I said OK sister amiga I tell teacher you need school. She said I need my momma and esquala. And she cry; I hug her and I say "just don't cry; I go for you." I have to find my amiga's momma too and my babies too. And my amiga's family that separated not right. I work beside amiga and amigo and we are teams too and we are America. For a historical reason that has to bring us together.
If you haven't had a fight in 7 years I think there's something wrong.
Ok maybe you're just two very contented people, but more often it's an indication of a lack of passion or interest.
Yeah I look at happy couples and realize I could never last a moment in their relationship.
Too boring
They live in harmony with each other and it works for them
"Oh no I think you gonna want to hear this!" Bwahaha
JA has grown to be a very wiseman! 😂😂
Love him
Marriage is a 3 ring affair. There is the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
Great sound effects!! Lol!!
Sooo funny!!!
You are the funniest......
I will never ever get married again. Not in this day and age. No more.
@Fiona Dovina this was not nice. I do not why you sent me a link like this. Yes I like women. But I really did not appreciate you attaching a link like this. It makes me feel like you were trying to sabotage me. We are all weak. But I do not need anymore temptation that will get me off my path. Thank you.
I tend to think that if a woman kills her husband, then says she was all out of choices, he was either brutally abusive and she was desperate, back to the wall frame of mind, or she was completely psycho. I'm going to go with abused and desperate
A little harsh for church? 🤣🤣🤣
Me and my wife have been married for ten years now and I have been thru a lot three years ago she fell off the wagon and got back into meth and cheating on me several times and dcfs took her children we where raising good children bad situation and my life changed we lost our house and a twenty five thousand dollar car that was rammed into a house by addict's and she has been to jail 8 times in three years I just bailed her out twice in September and now she's wanting to be clean and sober I hope she will I met her in 2008 she was 4 years clean and sober I'm a truck driver so I'm not home but a day and a half a week so It's hard on me and I'm going through it again and again and again trying to fix everything
Live your life,if your meant to be together,she'll come back to you clean and sober.
She's got to really want to change. Otherwise, this will be your life until she dies. I'm asking The Lord God Almighty for His devine intervention. In Jesus's powerful name.
Throwing the shot gun 😂😂😂
LOL!!!
It wasn't that she didn't have any choices it's that she wanted to do something evil and blame anything and anyone except herself which is where the responsibility actually laid
Why do women NOT let their husband know that they have a grievance instead of letting it build up and build up over time? I’ve been on the receiving end of one of these flame outs which featured not only the main issue, but also a list of lesser ones that predate it.
Burps? Oh hell no, my husband gets up and farts his way to the bathroom, farts his way to the sofa from there, farts whenever he gets up or whenever a commercial comes on, or he starts laughing at something on youtube, and he chuckles with his entire body, and with every bounce those farts come out a little at a time.....this is after 34 years of marriage. There's times I think he could create a little tune with those farts......
Lol love it
I wasn't even considering what i did, security camera right on us .. I'm so mad ,all morning I had a headache from nonsense pure nonsense. I'm walking behind him , because he was going fast out of the store and he was NOT going to get my heels .Without a thought, there went my tongue out behind his back. I'd been a good girl , .. ha White knuckling my fury isn't a good girl I know and not only that I'm almost 52 .. my daughters are women, so I'm " supposed to" be better than this. I can picture people looking at me ,look at that immature lady omgsh. I felt trapped and I wanted to express myself and I knew if I said ANYTHING it would just suck my life blood and air out of my being and I just might drop dead 🤔hmmm..
Anyway, this helped thanks Jeff.
Still look at this and laugh my ass off! Funny as hell. If you can’t laugh at this you have a sense of humor fail.
Jeff Allen - Marriage Counselor to the Never Married. I'd take his experience before we see the priest lol
Funniest yet
hahahaha that's great.
Those weren't burps...and everyone knows that.
Dying in your sleep.. dare to dream
😂😂😂💖💖
Talk.
😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
A little harsh for church? lol
😂😂😂😂😂😂
I didn't know Christian's could be funny
Hilarious.
Yes a bit to harsh for church lol
🤣🤣🤣
At church.lol
Will never get married again would rather be totally alone
dude that sounds intense. Was she that horrible?
Wow as a Canadian I really don't find the gun scenario funny I suppose for us gun ownership isn't a right it's a privilege I guess that's the big difference in our sense of humor.3cheers from Canada
As a Canadian I found it to be very funny. Actually helps you explain gun control.
I have been a fan of your comedy but this bit is too dark for me. Still a fan..but yes "a lil harsh for church" this time.
I would beat my girlfriend but that against the law that why they won aggurments
😂🤣😂