Is it ok if I hide my jail time from my potential spouse? | Sheikh Assim Al Hakeem

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  • Опубліковано 24 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 177

  • @sarahm4516
    @sarahm4516 20 днів тому +42

    I think this is not straight forward as is made out to be, I married a man who spent time in prison, he concealed this prior to marriage, but it came out while i was expecting our first child, his historic criminality meant, it affected the marriage to the point that if i remained living with him our child would have removed from our custody due to his criminal record. Needless to say the marriage ended as it was impossible for me to lose custody of our child on the basis of his misdeeds...

    • @hylianlegends
      @hylianlegends 20 днів тому +16

      No it's straightforward. The sheikh said if it affects your marriage, then he has to expose it. So your ex having a criminal record affected your ability to have legal custody of your kids in your country. It sounds like the sheikh would agree he should've exposed it then.
      Just curious : Why would his criminal history come out when you have a kid?

    • @Cherries2249
      @Cherries2249 20 днів тому +8

      @@hylianlegends perhaps his felony was related to kids, abusing them etc. something like that would cause huge problems if he were to father a child and to hide something like that would be despicable

    • @tafis007
      @tafis007 19 днів тому

      That's a very rare case. It’s unlikely to happen if someone was convicted in a different country, like this brother.

    • @sarahm4516
      @sarahm4516 19 днів тому +4

      @@Cherries2249 Yes it would, be that wasn't the case for me, it was the fact he had such a long violent criminal record, it was considered a safeguarding issue, and i was considered as not safeguarding my unborn child by remaining with him, i would had my son removed from me if i had stayed...
      I agree with concealing sins, no one needs to know if you have done six months for speeding, but it does depend on the nature of your reason for being in prison,

  • @QuboolwaRidaa
    @QuboolwaRidaa 20 днів тому +17

    Having a criminal record impacts on a persons ability to secure a good job which in turn effects their ability to provide for their family so it would impact ones ability to be a good husband and would effect the marriage.

    • @tafis007
      @tafis007 19 днів тому +1

      That wouldn’t impact if someone was convicted in a different country, like this brother.

    • @o_-970
      @o_-970 19 днів тому +1

      So a woman can hide she was a 304 and had a high body count of haram relationships with men, but the man has to display his past sins?
      What kind of fiqh is this? You sir, don't want any good for such repented men .

    • @tafis007
      @tafis007 18 днів тому

      @@o_-970 It’s sad that most Muslim women take zina so lightly. But will lose it, if the man have a history of crime. They forget that zina is also a punishable offense in Islam.
      Maybe that's because they're only more capable than men to commit this one crime.

    • @QuboolwaRidaa
      @QuboolwaRidaa 18 днів тому +4

      How strange that you assume that Muslim women take zina lightly. The vast majority of Muslim women are chaste, it is slanderous and sinful for you to claim otherwise.

    • @tafis007
      @tafis007 18 днів тому +2

      @@QuboolwaRidaa Just go through the comment section of this video and Asim al hakim's video about concealing past zina. Mostly it is women who are against men concealing their crime like this brother with drug addiction, but will defend concealing zina. Why is that?
      That's pure hypocrisy. Both are crimes in Islam. It doesn’t matter how different those are viewed in modern time.

  • @tafis007
    @tafis007 20 днів тому +7

    Kudos to the Sheikh for being firm on his views.
    It would be hypocrisy to say otherwise as he said one should conceal the sin of zina.

    • @sarahm4516
      @sarahm4516 19 днів тому +2

      it wouldn't as zina doesnt affect the marriage, being a sex offender who has been to prison thus have a criminal record for it will, its all about context

    • @tafis007
      @tafis007 19 днів тому +1

      @@sarahm4516 Our prophet said, "Those who repents are like they never committed the sin."
      It doesn’t matter who has what opinion. Many men think a zaani women can never get over her past lover.
      I commend the Sheikh for being sincere on both cases.

    • @o_-970
      @o_-970 19 днів тому +1

      ​@@sarahm4516 it DOES affect the marriage. Everyone who knows women knows a virgin is not the same as a woman who has "experience" with boyfriends and lovers, one nighters etc.
      She will most likely be super arrogant, never satisfied, and always comparing him to the past men she dated, and of course overlook his much better qualities

  • @Cherries2249
    @Cherries2249 21 день тому +70

    Hell no I'd like to know if my man was a felon. Imagine he lost his job in the future and he couldn't get a new one so easily because of this and the wife had no idea why he was struggling. If a woman was a felon she has to share that too. This is something big and you should know things like that about a person if you intend to spend the rest of your life with them.

    • @halalvagenedestroyer4330
      @halalvagenedestroyer4330 21 день тому +60

      The same should go for virginity aswell then. You can't be a hypocrite and expect a man to reveal his past but expect a woman to conceal hers.

    • @DeenReminders-hl1bn
      @DeenReminders-hl1bn 21 день тому +17

      Which goes to the first thing he mentioned: if it harms the marriage directly or is likely to do so, then it should be stated
      The general rule is that sins shouldn’t be publicized, whether they are crimes or even if they’re legal; but the imam at my mosque explained there’s a difference between publicizing a sin because you’re proud of it, and telling one person - or a small circle - because you want to give or receive advice. I don’t know how this felony situation would be considered, because it doesn’t really align with either of the two.
      Telling a spouse that you have a criminal record is obviously different from boasting it, but I am not knowledgeable to confirm or deny whether this makes it ok.

    • @ibadshamim1407
      @ibadshamim1407 21 день тому +3

      I agree that you should know about the spouses past, but he's pretty consistent on his view about concealing ones past sins when looking to get married unfortunately.

    • @Cherries2249
      @Cherries2249 21 день тому +1

      ​@@halalvagenedestroyer4330 I agree

    • @Cherries2249
      @Cherries2249 21 день тому +3

      ​@@ibadshamim1407yeah I noticed. Like I don't need to know everything, but the big things I do. If you don't know important things about your spouse they're like a stranger in my opinion. How can anyone claim to know someone if they don't know big events in their past?

  • @Unknown_bint-m9n
    @Unknown_bint-m9n 19 днів тому +3

    There’s always istiqarah and local people that know him in that city if you don’t want to marry someone who went to jail you don’t always have to ask directly Allah knows your soon to be spouse better than anyone and asking Allah to guide you is a W🌺

    • @tafis007
      @tafis007 19 днів тому +3

      Exactly. It would be foolish to ask about someone's past outright.

  • @KudaLaut-qn1vv
    @KudaLaut-qn1vv 20 днів тому +3

    Better be upfront if somehow she takes offense and would later know it. You would have wasted time, effort and resources for a relationship that ultimately does not work.

  • @FlareVolt0
    @FlareVolt0 20 днів тому +5

    still, make it known beforehand better than find out later, because they will ask why cant you go to uae, and you might falter and answer at some point, and cant a drug addict go back to his addiction same as an alcoholic etc ? so in my opinion the father would like to know what kind of a man is marrying his daughter, sheikh said it doesn't impact the marriage, but how will he earn, if they'll ask for his criminal record and its harder to get a job, or gets married to a woman from UAE as he said, the family must know because he cant just send his wife to UAE alone and never have family meetings etc and its still affects, so if he doesn't want to tell, then he better forgets UAE even existed, and lives and marries outside the UAE and having nothing attaching him to it, same as a job idk if he's obligated to reveal criminal record of another country, but what im saying is having sins is one thing, but a criminal and drug addiction that stays in your record, have potential of going back to addiction in sha Allah no , and affecting overall job and life etc, must be disclosed .
    same for a man who wants to know if his wife is a virgin and states in a contract he wants a virgin, or one who's not divorced or married before etc etc.
    not all sins are the same, Allah s.w.t is most merciful , and some sins you do and forget and repent and it only affects you, but other sins affect other people, a criminal, drug addict, an adulterer a cheater and thief a killer an ex gang member having ex gf bf used to be a 304 adult actress online videos scandals etc etc , these things even if you repent may come back to haunt you unless Allah s.w.t conceals your sins and protects us from their consequences , but you may falter, have a weak moment, and then they catch up to you, best person in this example is a sinner who repented and lives 100% clean , but can everybody say that for himself ? it takes time to cleanse the system from drugs, detox from other sins and addictions etc, its a good thing he is 5 years clean mashs Allah, but imagine he called and said its been 1 year or 6 months, time matters.
    and at some point there may be an ex bf moment and blackmail and all these exposure scandals etc, that you never ever knew from your wife, or husband, thats why, if you want to start fresh clean after life of sins and hardships, and you want no hiccups or mistakes biting you back after years, or feel ashamed after they discover your secret because someone else knew about it and exposed you , be forthcoming, at least not expose the sin, but say you're not a virgin, or used to be married didnt work out, or used to be an addict , or jailed for years, etc, not expose the specific sins, because you would like it if a man marries your daughter and he turns out to be an ex gang member or a killer or drug addict etc, or for you son to marries a woman that used to be an adult this and that had bf's plural etc and lied.
    you want a white page clean marriage, then be forthcoming, so you never think back and say in sha Allah they dont find out this and that, and if you falter and go back to sins etc, then its all out.

    • @FlareVolt0
      @FlareVolt0 20 днів тому +1

      so yes, you may have the right for your secret, and never ever reveal and expose your passed sins, BUT wouldn't like being 100% forthcoming so that they stop asking, or dont ask in the first lace, not be in an embarrassing position of " why cant we go to UAE to see my family, why is your phone ringing at 3am and who's calling, why you act weird around this place " , to avoid suspicion, you wither marry someone you know doesn't mind, or be truthful before marriage and see if they agree , because people who dont have these dark sinful past , and are considered well behaved individuals with no bf gf no sex scandals no addictions no criminal past , dont they deserve a similarly clean person for their son or daughter ? to have the least bit danger of that persons sins getting exposed or coming back to haunt them in a form of an angry ex bf who has pictures and blackmails , or a job failing and not finding a decent job, or that one bad day turning sour and getting back to violent or drug use etc etc ?
      you can repent from the sin, and in sha Allah you never go back to it, you tried your best to heal your heart, but can the body be healed as much ? detox your body, let it get rid of the toxins with Allah's permission , but sadly for someone who had past haram haram relations can the body and brain forget those activities and start to connect to one person again ?
      all im saying is beggars cant be choosers , just be sure to explain better your shortcomings if they keep bugging you about it, or maybe risk divorce because the family fears some hidden bad stuff coming out, and they dont want their daughter overseas alone to face it, or for a non virgin to demands a virgin and ruins it.
      sometimes you make your bed and sleep on it, Allah s.w.t is most merciful , Allah concealed our sins alhamdulillah, and you cant expose them its haram, but at the same thing you have to understand humans cant forgive and forget that easy, and wants the best for themselves as well, and if they know the person repented, the idea of the sin or topic, not the exact sin, and they still agree , then its a blessing from Allah s.w.t.
      Allah s.w.t knows best.
      may Allah s.w.t guide us all.

    • @FlareVolt0
      @FlareVolt0 20 днів тому +1

      the sheikh is not a scholars and keeps saying it himself, so he is a student of knowledge, he cant make fatwas, scholars can, he studies under scholars, and passes their knowledge and fatwas to the public.
      another thing is yes of course revealing sins is haram, but you dont HAVE to expose the sin specifically, simply say you're not a virgin anymore ( no need to expose WHY and HOW ) , unless its from an injury or something which is not sinful , like being married before, that's something is not haram to reveal , but for a killer or a drug addict etc, idk about that, if it may come back , and you know you're not clean from it and still doing treatments and years of rehab etc wouldn't that affect the marriage ? you CANT say the sin itself, but can you say the affect it had on you ? not being a virgin, having to do rehab ( not saying why , not exposing the sin itself ) , and THEN let the other potential spouse decide if they're good with that, and if the person shows improvements or may still need time to heal from that sin, because repenting heals the heart and you have no sin in sha Allah, but the body is still affected, because you cant say i did drugs yesterday, repented and suddenly my system is clean, or i did major sins zina etc, repented and my body forgets that sensation and sin, and the woman suddenly forgets these men or passed love / lust relations and tries to bond with one man ?
      these things need tremendous time effort and rehab and healing to be 100% clean and ready for marriage and 0 chance of it coming back to haunt them or ruin the life of the other spouse , because for them alhamdullilah they are forgiven, no sins, but they still need to heal the body from its affects, because repenting doesn't mean you'll forget you ever did it and no chance to do it again, lets be realistic.
      thats why we meet halfway , with you yes 1000% its haram to expose, but with that guy yes you cant just not say anything before marriage and expect them to no find out or ask, or him/ her not going back to that life, or get a phone call, or angry ex bf gf with pictures and so on.
      we dont need to know the sin itself, we just need to know the man or woman is clean, or doesn't have any existing issues , and let THEM decide, you cant repent and then be a chooser and demand the other clean side to accept you or you lie just to get married, if they ASK ? you answer without exposing the sin, are you a virgin ( written in a question box contract etc ) were you married before ? are you a convicted felon ? have addictions ? have medical illness ? you dont like the questions then go look somewhere else, the family has the right to chose a clean nice husband / wife for their children, your problems are not my problems, and sayings like that, hope this clears both of your correct points.
      , its haram to expose sins, case closed, and my other points above help explain how to be forthcoming without exposing then.

  • @iloveallkindsof-blue
    @iloveallkindsof-blue 20 днів тому +6

    Encouraging to lie is not the muslim way to live... because lying is like an avalanche... you start with one lie on the subject but will die with more than hundreds lies on this subject...

    • @sad-xi6ok
      @sad-xi6ok 20 днів тому +1

      how is any of what he said a way of lying

    • @Afridarbaz
      @Afridarbaz День тому

      He didn't tell him to lie

  • @tired5925
    @tired5925 20 днів тому +2

    u should have mentioned the first part to the other guy who said he married someone who lied being a virgin. for nearly all men that is a dealbreaker in the marriage so it should fit through that.

    • @Lala_monzz
      @Lala_monzz 18 днів тому +2

      yes, my fiance told me after we got engaged that he wasn’t virgin and i broke off the marriage. i didn’t save myself for marriage for a guy that’s been used up

  • @stormscall3157
    @stormscall3157 15 днів тому +1

    For those comparing this to a woman’s virginity, I hope you know being Zina free isn’t limited to a woman. So long as he’s never been married before then he should be a virgin. I expect him to be. Imagine me (a woman) saving myself for marriage only to get married to a man with body counts. Ridiculous!

    • @tafis007
      @tafis007 5 днів тому

      Yeah it is not limited to women. But for some reason, most women aren’t concerned about. You'll find it’s mostly the women who are watering it down saying it’s in the past and all.

    • @Afridarbaz
      @Afridarbaz День тому

      What do you do if you come to know he or she is not a virgin after marriage? Divorce?
      You can't do anything about it but to feel heart broken

    • @tafis007
      @tafis007 День тому

      @@Afridarbaz To my knowledge a man can divorce if he can't reconcile with it. There's a video of Asim al hakim, where he discouraged doing so but said it’s permissible. But I don’t think that's a valid reason for women and any women would think of divorcing for that reason.

  • @ayeshaakram7216
    @ayeshaakram7216 20 днів тому +5

    I will try to be respectful about this but when we moved to another country for a job or even when my sister applied for a job in the bank in our own country she and we were asked to show a police clearance letter. And this is my problem with this sheikh and most pakistani imams, they seem to only be living in deen world and not in the practical world that the rest of us have to live in and manage too. And if I married someone and later found out he had not only an addiction but also served time in jail I would be upset. Look at the stats, a person who has once had an addiction is highly likely to get addicted again.

    • @Myobatsu
      @Myobatsu 19 днів тому +4

      it's like half your brain went out the window when you watched this video.. the sheikh was quite clear when he said he needs to be a "functioning" husband

    • @tafis007
      @tafis007 19 днів тому +2

      Most Girls have different opinion when it comes to concealing zina. I wonder why 🤔
      Point to be noted, both using drug and zina are punishable offense in Islam.

  • @Adam-bc2ov
    @Adam-bc2ov 20 днів тому +2

    bruh we have a hard time to understand those people. Make subtitles please like this is hard to hear

  • @zara-he3jh
    @zara-he3jh 20 днів тому +2

    "the supply is far greater than the demand" sheikh seems to have no idea about the marriage market or the average male:female ratio 💀
    On a serious note, if you hide an information, being well aware that if the potential spouse were to know about it, they wouldn't say yes, isn't that a type of deception?

    • @tafis007
      @tafis007 19 днів тому +1

      You are suppose to disclose your sins. This what Sheikh said about concealing past zina. Why would he say otherwise in this case.

    • @zara-he3jh
      @zara-he3jh 19 днів тому

      @tafis007 Yeah, I understand that disclosing your sins is a sin. But I still don't understand how it is not a deception in the context of marriage.

    • @tafis007
      @tafis007 19 днів тому

      @@zara-he3jh would you say the same about concealing the sin of zina?
      Point to be noted, The brother here was jailed because of his drug addiction. In a Shariah ruled state, zina is also a crime, which might amount to capital punishment.

  • @amarhassan6223
    @amarhassan6223 20 днів тому +12

    What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas 😅😅😊😅😅

  • @zenastronomy
    @zenastronomy 20 днів тому +13

    if anyone doesn't want to reveal their past sins. they should simply ask their prospective spouses up front do they want to know about their past or not?
    if they say yes. and you are not willing to reveal it. walk away from that marriage. simple solution for everyone without defrauding anyone.
    the truth is everyone who is hiding their past sins by lying is being a hypocrite. I can guarantee you if the shoe was on the other foot, they would be upset.
    If they found out their wife had been a porn star, or a hooker. Do you think they would then be saying past sins, past sins.
    Or if they found out their son in law was a murderer, ex rapist, paedo or wife killer, past sins, past sins.
    No, not one of these sheikhs or these people would then be saying this nonsense.
    The answer is obvious if you don't want to be a hypocrite. If you are asking it means you already know that keeping it a secret is you misleading them. Deal breakers are obvious things that you would want to know if you were the bride or groom instead and you wanted to know something, and they hid it, would you get upset. If so, then yes, you should reveal it or walk away from that marriage if you don't want to.
    Simple as that for me.

    • @hylianlegends
      @hylianlegends 20 днів тому +5

      Dude. If the spouse is a murderer, that affects the marriage. Cmon

    • @zenastronomy
      @zenastronomy 20 днів тому +2

      @hylianlegends did u read what i said?

    • @truewind8945
      @truewind8945 20 днів тому +1

      I read the whole thing. I'm curious if you a male or a female.

    • @carljohnson2194
      @carljohnson2194 20 днів тому +3

      What’s wrong with what sheikh said? He would say same answer for hookers and women who commit zina as well he’s not a hypocrite in fact he already said that in some of his other lectures

    • @zenastronomy
      @zenastronomy 20 днів тому +2

      @carljohnson2194 sure he would say that for other people. but doubt he'd be saying that if it happened to his daughter or son. People say one thing until it happens to them.

  • @shinmonbenimaru91
    @shinmonbenimaru91 20 днів тому +6

    Funny how people without knowledge ask a question to somebody with knowledge and then Gossip about the answer because it doesn't fit their desires. Shut up and listen. Nobody is in need of your unqualified and unislamic opinions.

  • @MariamIshaq-f1y
    @MariamIshaq-f1y 20 днів тому

    Alhamdulillah

  • @Lala_monzz
    @Lala_monzz 18 днів тому +2

    imagine a man being in jail for raping an infant and then he marries u and islamically doesn’t have to tell u😅 wtf

    • @tafis007
      @tafis007 18 днів тому +6

      @@Lala_monzz R ping infant. OMG.
      That's one twisted intrusive thought.
      The man in the video was jailed for using drugs. Stop exaggerating things.

    • @MA-jn8rk
      @MA-jn8rk 4 дні тому

      @@Lala_monzz the same woman telling us not to marry more than one woman, but to also marry divorcees and widows. lol you have an issue in the head. Look at how your brain process’s things, subhan Allah. Learn the deen before yapping. Disgusting representation of what a Muslim woman should be like. You do understand that as muslims we are to never to reveal our sins regardless how big or small. If people learned to shut up before speaking we wouldn’t be in the mess we’re in. Hiding your sins is good for the woman too you numb nut, you now how many hijabi or should I call them hoejabis sleep around then get married to a guy that thought they were a virgin😂 you literally only follow what you like and you prove it time and time again, but please go on and say WTF about what Allah revealed. You disgust me wallah 🤮 you wouldn’t even deserve the brother in the video with your loose tongue. Stop commenting on Muslim UA-cam channels just because you’re a Muslim girl, you speak of what Allah revealed no differently than the kuffar 🤮🤮🤮🤮

    • @Afridarbaz
      @Afridarbaz День тому

      Panishment of rape is death in Islam how can a dead person marry 🤣

  • @Thatsfine1998_
    @Thatsfine1998_ 20 днів тому +1

    I know I live in a crazy country when being in jail seems extremely normal for me 😢😢 it‘s like saying I was in the hospital for a week. My response be like „dang… anyway you good now?“ 😂 There are many women who don’t care as long as it’s in the past 😊 don’t lose hope. You don’t have to share your past with anyone unless it endangers them in some way.

  • @makeislameasy4206
    @makeislameasy4206 20 днів тому

    ❤❤❤❤

  • @zenastronomy
    @zenastronomy 20 днів тому +20

    so the absurdity of sheikhs position is.
    if a job requires them to know about your past you have to reveal it. But to a prospective spouse you don't? Sheikh position is illogical.
    I'd say a marriage is the biggest job interview you'll ever be on. Imagine lying about that.
    I'd divorce a spouse instantly if i found out they hid a deal breaker issue from me. To me that is a mark of an untrustworthy deceptive person. Your history impacts your marriage, just like your job reference impacts your job.
    and I'm sorry if that means you don't get the spouse you want. live with it. actions have consequences.

    • @IsThatNas
      @IsThatNas 20 днів тому +15

      Based on this, I'd assume that you believe one should reveal the status of their virginity to their spouse prior to getting married.

    • @wZaidhan
      @wZaidhan 20 днів тому +24

      If she doesn't ask, there is no need. And your opinion doesn't matter when it comes to Islam

    • @Khan-IE
      @Khan-IE 20 днів тому +3

      @@wZaidhan i agree

    • @greent16
      @greent16 20 днів тому +1

      This man is always coming up with ridiculous positions. If the roles were flipped and it was a woman, he’d tell the husband to leave her

    • @greent16
      @greent16 20 днів тому +6

      @@IsThatNasHaving a criminal record which affects jobs, custody, travel is not the same as virginity lmao. Are you for real?

  • @mimo4856
    @mimo4856 20 днів тому +6

    Lol imagine they commited a crime like domestic abuse or trafficking, but it's in the past so it's okay. No. Absolutely no. I don't care what any sheikh says about concealing sins and whether or not you reveal depending on the circumstances. You have to ask wise questions in order to make wise decisions based on the answers (provided they are truthful obviously). Either that, or the criminal should just not answer the question at all and then you'll sort of get an answer from them. They'll be, in this case, honest...but not open.

    • @ibrahim_-_-_
      @ibrahim_-_-_ 20 днів тому

      this is how men feel about women who hide their virginity. we want virgin women, not non virgins, but for whatever reason men are demonized for their preferences and women praised

    • @Eli.0011
      @Eli.0011 20 днів тому +10

      Humans judge you by your past,Allah judges you by your repentance.may Allah guide us

    • @tafis007
      @tafis007 19 днів тому

      @@mimo4856 In general, It's a sin to disclose any past sin, if the person repented and changed his way, it’s like he never committed the sin.

    • @ShiroYasha7O7
      @ShiroYasha7O7 18 днів тому

      Quit yapping

  • @thunderballzz
    @thunderballzz 20 днів тому

    So I have to disclose personal details but I can't ask if she is a virgin or if she has committed zina?

    • @Iffath-qp8os
      @Iffath-qp8os 19 днів тому +3

      How do you go to a woman and ask "Hi there have you committed Zina💀💀"..This generation is truly astonishing

    • @thunderballzz
      @thunderballzz 19 днів тому

      @@Iffath-qp8os Matrimonial applications and even meetings through parents. It's astonishing that I want a pure woman? Its astonishing how many 'sisters' are not pure. I don't want to marry another man's semen bucket.

    • @tafis007
      @tafis007 18 днів тому

      @@Iffath-qp8os I think the point he made,
      You can't ask a man, "Hi there, have you ever graped or unalived someone or used drugs" either.