Raising a Narcissist
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- Опубліковано 13 січ 2020
- Get access to hundreds of LIVE workshops with MedCircle psychologists & psychiatrists: watch.medcircle.com
In episode 3 of our Narcissism in Relationships series, Dr. Ramani walks through the signs of narcissism in your child in adulthood.
What happens when your child grows into adulthood but never grows out of narcissistic behavior? Coping with that behavior in this relationship can get complicated. This episode shows parents what they can do and how they can cope.
Make sure to watch the rest of this 6-episode series on narcissistic relationships to learn how to deal with every type of narcissistic relationship in your life.
#Narcissism #Relationships #MedCircle
Which of Ramani’s points most resonates with you? Let us know in the comments below. We want to hear your story.
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My 31 year old son is a raging narcissist, but it seems that his father created a lot of this. Narcissism runs in my family, my father, my brother, and now my son. My son's father catered to his every little whim and he ALWAYS got what he wanted much to my dismay. This caused major problems within our marriage and is one of the many reasons that we divorced. Our parenting style was polar opposites. I believe in this..."if you want to make a child miserable, give them everything they want." I can remember when he was a little boy that if he didn't get something he wanted, he would kick my ex in the shins as hard as he could. Shockingly, his father didn't even react, but I did. Funny, he NEVER did that to me. He knew better; kids aren't stupid. I know that all kids are egocentric, but most of them eventually outgrow it. My son never did. He was spoon fed this disorder by his father. Oddly enough, I don't believe that his dad "is" narcissistic.
Fast forward to currently, my son left the state for two years, didn't like it, came back, and his father is still living with him in order to help pay the bills in his very expensive house and serve as his nanny, etc.. I'm not sure that he will ever move out because of the financial situation. He also has a 5 year old son who I see also kicking his dad in the shins while throwing a tantrum. My grandson is his father all over again except on steroids. God, help him.
My kids do NOT treat me in the same offensive way because they know that I would not tolerate this. I have been estranged from my son for sometimes as long as one year. I refuse to put up with his verbal abuse and he knows better than to ask me for money. My motto is... "poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." I will not and cannot tolerate abuse from anyone. I demand respect and if an individual does not comply, then I have no other choice than to walk away from them. "The only thing worse than being alone is wishing that you were."
Thanks for listening and if you have any input, Dr. Ramani, I would certainly appreciate it. Thanks for doing these videos. You have no idea how immensely they have helped me manage the pain and heartache that all of this has caused me. I only wish that you were in my immediate area so I could consult with you one on one, but thanks for all of the useful information. Hugs!
I have a 25 y.o. daughter (only child) who has Borderline Personality Disorder and is also a Narcissist. Her biological father died before she was born and my parents & I indulged her far too much. I tried to discipline her as she grew up, with little success. She's highly intelligent and manipulative and managed to guilt me into allowing things I wouldn't have, except for the fact that I, myself live with severe Major Depression. It's a mess that will never be resolved.
Please make parenting series aswell.
mostly don’ts and disorders in adults are discussed. kindly highlight as to how one should train small kids so that they don’t turn into a narcissist.
How painful it is to go no contact with your child.
@@julieb.9812 This is a sad, sad story, Julie. So sorry. :( I can identify because I have a 31-year-old daughter who is somewhat narcissistic, though not to the extent you describe. I agree with you on all the points you raise. I think your ex-husband did enable your son to become who he is today. I think he was, still is, too weak. My ex-husband is much the same, only he has the money to buy his way into her 'affections' which is the tool he uses to win her over. You demand respect because you deserve respect, but I do envy you that you follow through. Unfortunately, I grieve too much not seeing my grandchildren, and eventually give in, just so I can go to see them. I try to limit my contact with my daughter to the barest minimum, just to avoid situations that turn into a raging war. Usually, I'm the one that ends up hurting and I'm no longer able to deal with toxic behaviour.
Single mom here! I tried to break the cycle, so I thought. My mother was cold, harsh, and never showed love. I overindulged and I was the helicopter mom. I wanted my daughter to have everything and have a better life than me. Now, as an adult the only time she is nice (brief moment) to me is when I'm doing something for her, other than that I get the silent treatment. She's entitled, selfish, and blames me for her failures. I'm done! I'm tired of her making me feel like a piece of crap.
That chubby dog is the perfect mascot for this video. Sleeping and totally unaware of the problem...
If there was a problem for the dog that would make sense but there is nothing that needs correcting.
Therapy doggie.
David Daniels sense. there
@@barbaraladams5304 😅 ...except correcting my grammer
Not chubby just in bulking season 💪🏻
The hardest thing is to walk away when you feel your life wrenched out of you.
The parents who never say no. that is the one that drives me crazy
We r ENABLING codependent idiots
More like the parents who spank and beat you for the littlest things. Like talking back or having your own opinion or asking the wrong question or failing a class.
@@gypsy-nr9zd BOTH EXTREMES ARE MENTALLY WEAK,INSUFFICIENT,ABNORMAL,UNHINGED,UNBALANCED........MAN I COULD WRITE A LONNNNNNNNG LIST😪UNFORTUNATELY IF THE OPPOSITE WERE TRUE,CAN YOU IMAGINE THE AWESOME,LOVING SOCIETY WE WOULD HAVE?BREAKS MY HEART😪
My mom would never say no either, why is that
Joseph Teamwork maybe she doesnt dare to
I'm here for the information but can we acknowledge the fact that the dog is an entire mood
love the dog!!
At first I thought it was a statue or something.
The angry son who hates his mom is not my son. I’ll always remember the sweet child inside lost forever. It’s been 6 heart breaking years. Im cutting all ties. I love me.
I understand how you feel. We started having problems with my son when he was about 24 which he was self-medicating. Obviously he has some other undiagnosed problems, but the major thing is he’s narcissistic and yes, I grieve the child. That was the little kid that we had a lot of fun with and we did tell him now he was spoiled with quality time not with money and fancy trips we skied together we rode bikes together, so yes, I mourn the little kid, but the adult that in reality I am faced with is not a nice person, and he’s verbally abusive. He refuses to work but yet all the psychologist and psychiatrist tell me that if I throw him out and he lives on the street it will be worse for him so right now I’m kind of stuck between a rock and a hard spot I’m putting up with a very narcissisticin my eyes spoiled rotten adult child and a husband that has no idea how to confront the situation and doesn’t want any confrontation
So sorry for your troubles. It is unfortunate that your husband is not addressing the issue. Trust me, you don’t want to end your relationship with your son. It will destroy you. Try to get into therapy with your son even if your husband does not want to participate. Make it part of the deal to,live at home rent free. Even if your son is a narcissist, you will need tools to deal,with him. You do t want to miss future weddings, holidays, birthdays or future grandkids. My situation is different. I was widowed at age 35 with 2 sons under 5 years old. My EX was my deceased husband’s best friend who came into my life like a hero. He knew my finances and everything about me. We were together for 16 years and have a daughter together. He became my son’s step father. I knew nothing about narcissistic personality disorder just thought my EX had anger issues. After 16 years I left. He moved out of my home (which I foolishly put his name on the deed. ) In the end he cost me my husband’s entire life insurance policy and 3 years of legal BS along with harassment. When he first moved in he was amazing. I loved him so much. He started picking on my middle son and idolizing my oldest. I was hospitalized for a mental breakdown when I left my EX in 2015. I truly thought he was going to hurt me and was so fearful that I couldn’t sleep and was shaky all day. 16 years of him verbally abusing me and my son was enough. While in the hospital my oldest son asked if his biological father was his real dad. After and during my 3 year legal battle my son started treating me like dirt. He even used the exact wording his adoptive father used. In 2020 my son ghosted me. My son believes all the lies his step father told him about me including telling him that his biological father may not be his real dad (a complete lie). Based on my son’s treatment of me and loss of many friends I went on a journey of self love which included me cutting out all toxic relationships. Now it is over 3 years since I’ve seen my son and it still hurts. He hasn’t seen or been in touch with our extended family at all. He ended his relationship with me based on lies and lost our loving relationship. Whether he is a narcissist or not, I still want a relationship with my son. I will never give up hope it is the only thing that keeps me going. I definitely made some mistakes along the way. So for you, please try not to label your son just accept him and go therapy with someone who is experienced in narcissistic personality disorder. Thank you for your reply❤️
Im in the first month of cutting ties and I am raising their children. It’s difficult but I have to put the kids first
This makes me so sad. I was in a relationship with a covert narcissist for 10 years. At the time I didn’t know anything about narcissism. I had one child that I ended up raising on my own and now I’m questioning if she’s a covert narcissist. I’m absolutely crushed. It was not easy to get out of the relationship with her father and the mental and emotional damage remained. I am forever changed. But now my only child seems to be someone I can’t trust. I am devastated.
I totally understand
My Daughter has a love & hate relationship
Towards me
I'm sorry about the past
What can we do
I can't leave Her out of my life❤
She is my only child😢
I never knew that this even existed
7 narcissistic father-in-law was more than narcissistic
@@carolpolaseksoares5559 I’m sorry to hear you are going through something similar.
I set boundaries with my daughter and accepted I might have to love her from a distance. Things have been better. I hope it sticks. Hopefully both of our children are just going through a phase.
My 42yo narcissistic daughter has blocked me on social media and has not spoken to me in 2 years. My 3 grandchildren don’t know me, except for what she tells them. She has broken my heart, but my life is so much easier now. Her father was a narcissist and an alcoholic. He shot me in the head on his way out the door. My two babies were sleeping in the other room. That was 42 years ago. He drank himself to death and we survived. I’ve lived alone most of my life not understanding what narcissism is. At 73, I am finally seeing my part in all of this. Having firm boundaries is something I’m learning! Thank you Dr. Romani for making it possible for us to understand what this means.
Your story broke my heart. Only God knows how much a mother loves her children. I feel your pain because my daughter has cut me out off her life. I cry everyday. We should be strong and start to think for ourselves if we can. 💔
God bless you Mary.
*That's me with my oldest two!!*
I'm like "Now that I've done THIS for her she'll be nice and appreciate me!!" Then I'm crushed to see they still behave exactly the same.
@@mariabrown7153 Yes ma'am!! Giving to/doing things for narcissists *does* make them worse because it feeds their narcissistic supply and make's them *literally* stronger.
@@TradBarbie so true.
My Mother was a narcissist. My daughter thought she was great. She would tell me that grandma is large & in charge. She proudly says she’s just like Grandma. I told her that was nothing to be proud of.
I found when she was very young, she was independent, bossy, lacked empathy & could not accept positive criticism. Now she is divorced & my beautiful granddaughter sounds just like her Mommy. We are close, but when we talk, I hear my daughter’s words. She’s 6 & I was telling her something. She said, “That’s your opinion & opinions are like butt holes, everyone has one.” I was sick when I heard that. My daughter spoils her & treats her like a best friend, not a child.
My husband & I are kind, empathic people. She is not working. We help her out & I know she doesn’t think it’s enough. I also know I only see my granddaughter when my daughter needs a break. I feel used, but I know she would punish me by not letting me see the child. Thankfully I can text my ex son in law who thinks my granddaughter needs to spend time with me.
We are in our 70s. My husband has several severe health issues. He’s been in hospital & immobile for almost a year. I am not well. I think she saw us 7 times. She’s the victim. Her pain is worse than ours.
She makes me feel stupid & self conscious just like my abusive Mother did. I am nervous & walk on eggshells when she is here. My husband has a better relationship with her so he’s kind of an enabler. He sees how she treats & understands but he wants to be neutral. I just sent him this UA-cam & the one on NDP children. I know too much about NPD. Never a happy ending. Heartbreaking.
1/18/23
Lack of responsibility - this is one of the main problems (if not the main problem) with our society and with narcissists. When parents over indulge their kids and do not make them responsible for their own actions, you have raised an entitled adult. I constantly see adults who blame others for their misfortune and do not want to be responsible for their own lives. Entitled people are miserable big babies and I stay clear of them, if at all possible.
Every parent knpws it doesnt matter how good and do things right to your child.. or how much you try to make one mind.. if they are narcs from birth from genetics . They are not gonna change no matter what you do or say.. they are very stuburn and by time i ralized my daughter is a narc.. she is 35 now . I realized just about 8 months ago..got worse when my 21yr. Old son died in 2003.. ger older brother.. and after her doing drugs.. i alqays had real hard time with her but i loved her and still will always eorry and love her.. It kills me everyday knowing i will never get to have a true relationship with her.. and she has made me out to be the wrong bad abuser.. i was shocked.. just hurt and confused and a little angry now.. more hurt .. i just want yo hold her and live her and i cant.. she feels no empathy
Exactly. Totally agree with strings 3609. More and more common problem in rich western countries.
Don’t know whether my sister is narcissistic or just has some very narcissistic tendencies which I personally find difficult, but I am often reminded of an incident when she was a teenager. There was a girl in her friend group who she disliked a lot. Her and another friend were constantly behind her back, picking at all her flaws and all the weird things she’d said that day. Although I wasn’t there for the actual interactions between her and the disliked friend I heard a lot of the backchat and gossip. Eventually this girl speaks to a guidance counsellor about my sister being a bully. My sister refutes all these claims to the guidance counsellor and the he eventually ended up, according to her, shouting in her face that she was a bully. Now, I agree with my parents that this wasn’t a good method for the teacher to use and was potentially traumatic to my sister. However, my mum told my sister that this disliked girl probably had paranoia and that it was nothing to do with her. I do not think for one second that this girls claim was from paranoia, and now that I am more aware of my sisters behaviour I am more convinced that she would not have just kept herself to gossiping behind her back. Someone actually should have said to her, ‘I know you’re hurting but you hold responsibility here too’.
narcissism can also result from under-indulgence (dr ramani has video on this somewhere). my sister is a narc and believe me, none of us were remotely indulged as kids. we were very poor, our father was abusive and bipolar, our mother had extremely high academic and moral expectations and zero time for any kind of emotional indulgence.
My son's father was an abusive narcissist. Removed him from our lives. My son now has ODD and I'm working my hardest to make sure he is a compassionate, accountable individual. Proud to say after 3 years of therapy we've seen a tremendous improvement in behavior. 👌 wasn't easy but worth it.
👏👏👏 Great job!! You are literally saving his life. He has a chance now. Bless you and the hard work you two are doing.
My nephew was diagnosed with ODD at age 7 - with good reason. He was acting out the abuse he was getting at home from his actively-alcoholic mom.
But, for him to get better would've required her to do what you're doing - invest in the hard-work of therapy and change - for him and as a family. That was a big nope - just easier to make him the scapegoat for all her issues. She would've had to quit drinking too, and at the time, that was an even bigger nope (she's sober now).
Now he's well on his way to conduct disorder (unofficially, but all the anti-social behavior is there), and since he's bigger than her now, she's afraid of him. So she gives him everything he wants. It doesn't matter that she quit drinking - the narcissism was always there.
It's going to take a literal miracle for him to grow the empathy centers in his brain. And it's heartbreaking, because he didn't start out this way. He was a kind, sweet, sensitive child. It's like watching a live documentary called "How to Make A Narcissist". She's a narcissist raising a narcissist.
Er, thanks for listening? I'm venting here, but I also want to reaffirm the good work you're doing. He's on his way to a better path.
@@lunacouer -TRULY HEARTBREAKING IN THE NEPHEW INSTANCE.HOPEGIVING IN THE MOM'S INSTANCE.I'VE BEEN CALLED THE"ETERNAL OPTIMIST"BUT UNLESS THE PERSON(I WAS W/AN NPD FOR 13+YEARS)DESIRES CHANGE,HARD WORK&COMMITTMENT THE HOPE IS THE LAST THING TO GO B4 ONE THROWS IN THE TOWEL😪PEACE✌
Excellent
Congratulations!!
@@lunacouer I’ve seen this played out and it is just so sad. I hope your nephew has you to model a little bit what good human behavior looks like.
I also second your sentiment towards @Nichole Marie, kudos!
I have watched many of Dr Ramani's videos. This one was made specifically for me
Nothing in life can be more painful than having to let go from your own child for the sake of your own mental wellbeing. When we reach old age it is so hard to accept that your own child is unable to have any caring love empathy understanding or any positive emotion or feeling towards you. Thanks so much for teaching us how to cope and manage the relationship. And hopefully eventually to heal
I’m going through the same thing..with not one, but both my boys...it’s heartbreaking and devastatingly painful...My ex is a big narcissist and I didn’t know how to deal with it when we were married...
Long story short...
Very sad for everyone involved...
A "horrible" child is always the consecuence of a HORRIBLE father o mother or BOTH!
@@Myinspiration2009 That's not true at all and you seem to be displaying very black and white thinking. Generally, at least one of the parents is very loving but there are so many complex factors that come into play. Parents are also products of their own upbringing and cultures.
You can have a parent that is extremely loving and generous to their child because they never got that as a child. And guess what? That parent can raise a 'horrible', entitled, narcissistic, brat because that parent did everything for them and barely told their child, no, out of misguided love.
It’s heartbreaking… I’m not losing hope yet but tonight has been so ruff that I’m search UA-cam why my kid hates me so much.
@@Myinspiration2009 you sound like a horrible person.how judgemental. Perhaps you are a narcissist. Disgusting statement
You hit the nail on the head with this one. was a single mother who divorced from the narcissist father of my two children. My daughter turned out to be a narcissist who abused and depleted me financially for years. Now, after using my granddaughters as a weapon on and off, I finally cut of all contact with her ( she’s 36 now). To my surprise, I’m in such peace that I don’t care anymore and I’ll keep no contact for life.
That’s what about to do cutt my son clean off
Wow the same is happening to me! I never thought I would cut off my son and his family but he is so abusive when I react to his controlling behavior.
Honestly Kyle these convos with Dr. Ramani are ground breaking. My ex-husband is an undiagnosed narcassist who continues to brainwash and turn my son against me. My son who is 16, is mean spirited, entitled and troubled. When he speaks it's like my ex is speaking through him. Unfortunately, I am guilty of feeling guilt from the divorce and caving to my son's whims from time to time. Now that I am beginning to set boundaries he has become extremely beligerant and disrespectful. My ex doesn't support me at all, saying that he never gives him a hard time and that since have one child it shouldn't be so difficult to have him obey me. I am a 7/8 grade teacher who gets more respect from my students, it breaks my heart that my only child is slowly becoming estranged from me, and sadly there's not much I can do about it .
Since your ex is a narcissist, I would bet that he is using "Parental Alienation" on you. I just now discovered that my ex did this to my two kids. This was the worst thing that my ex ever did to me. He took the two things in life that meant the most to me...my kids.You should research it so you at least have a better understanding of what went down. So sorry to know that you are experiencing this. It's some very hurtful stuff. Hugs!!!
@@julieb.9812thank you❤❤❤yes, I am aware of parental alienation. During the beginning of my separation 13 years ago, my ex would plant nasty seeds of doubt into my precious 7 year old's mind. One instance I will never forget was when my son nnocently asked why I had refused to live in the same home as his father and his mistress. From then on in, these types of instAnces of parental alienation occurred enough times and strategically spread apparent so that my son would never question my ex on his deceptive ways to distance my only child from me. Thank you again for replying ❤🤗
@@lulabella9249 that sounds terrible. I wish you the best of luck! And you sound like a good mother to me! ❤️
Hi Lula, I'm experiencing the same thing with my 14 year old son and my ex, his narcissistic dad. It's heartbreaking.
I was going to say the same as Julie B, about parental alienation.
I've read that the only thing you can do is be the opposite of the other parent. And take good care of yourself.
Still have boundaries, but make your home a safe place for them to be themselves, where they can still have opinions of there own. Try to find things you can both laugh at. Try not to let them see that they've upset you. Yesterday my son was rude, I looked at him in a way that he knew I wasn't happy. He challenged me. I said nothing. I was on my way out the door, I said goodbye very blandly. When I returned home, he'd cleaned up his room without me asking. And for the rest of the evening we got on well. Before I read about parental alienation, everything was different. We would have had an argument and I would have been really upset, (giving my son the power to control my feelings). They'll test you to see how strong you are. Something they won't do to the narc parent. I think they even take out there frustration with the narc parent on the non narc parent.
It makes me mad that raising a teenager is difficult enough, but that his father actually gets enjoyment from making it harder and causing me so much pain.
I feel for you, it isn't anything you've done wrong.
Take care!!!
@@kathy8260 omgosh Kathy, that's exactly how I'm feeling. As for my son he doesn't talk to me at all, no responses to my hellos, good mornings, and goodnights just requests for money or rides and if he can't get it from me he asks my mom. My mom has been more successful in setting boundaries with him since we live with her. We used to go out for dinner and just hang out talking about school and his interests, but not anymore. He acts, and speaks just like his dad. It's crazy that my only son who used to come to me for emotional support and affection now treats me like a stranger. I know that a certain amount of distancing from parents is a teens way of gaining some independence but for me, I know for a fact that his dad has played a huge role in all of this. He will be moving to another town this summer, although at first I was so sad but now I think it would be best if he did. Many people say he will come around but sadly, I think he's being groomed to be a narcissist and there's nothing I can do. Thank God for my 7/8 graders, my flamenco dance classes and my family they've all helped me take good care of myself.
God bless you for responding 🥰
I cannot take it anymore and yes it hurts. I cannot take the disrespect, the lies, the neediness or the hurting words my daughter calls me. It hurts less not having to deal with it.
Loneliness is better than mind games.
What you did?
I have tremendous guilt around the fact that my son is a true narcissist. Tremendous guilt. Because of this, I overlooked so much of his behaviors, his lying, his manipulative behaviors, and of course that didn't help at all, only hurt and might have kept him from realizing how narcissistic he is and hopefully getting help. The guilt some days is overwhelming, because I can see how anxious and unhappy he really is, how he lacks self-worth. "I made this...." yes, so painful.
I’m sorry. Genetics are a powerful thing…so is Satan. Only God can change them if they are willing but most Narcs see nothing wrong with their behavior.
Isnt it the hardest thing as a parent to come to terms with. Its heartbreaking to know and see the result and also mourning the fact there is no cure. This is what you have got for life. My son is 34 and has autism so for many years i had to make allowances get resources implemented in school and university. Getting a diagnosis waz so hard. I just wish i could turn back the clock and do things differently. i divorced his father when he waz very young to get away from his narcistic behaviour and now I am living with my son who has become one. The sadest thing for me is tgat I have lost that wonderful young boy and will never have that relationship again. After 28 it all switched. How do you divorce your child who lives with me and financially dependant on me and is narcistic? Nobody can help me to get out of this snare. I dont have tge money to set him up elsewhere.
What you did
@wellinever1558 what you did now
I'm so glad I watched this. I believe my daughter is a narc. It was enlightening but heartbreaking to hear all the traits they have. I'm 63 and homeless for approximately 3 years now due to serious health issues. Just today I gave her my last 8 $ to survive on for the next 25 days, in order to help her with some funds traveling 3000 miles away from me. She's leaving to pursue yet again a better life. I will be left of course in a car and it doesnt seem to bother her. In fact she has done nothing but cuss me for 2 days. I'm terribly lonely and have no friends here and I still worry about her. She's 36 and i love her so, but she is so hurtful. I thank you for your visa. And I learn so much from the responses that are given. I just don't want to hurt anymore. I understand people over all aren't interested in others that aren't physically well, but once upon a time I accomplished alot successfully and had friends. I used to laugh and smile continually and was so, so hopeful. Now I'm invisible. Many thanks to you all. I'm sure your beautiful people.
When bringing up my daughter I was in an extremely abusive marriage. My daughter was a good girl but the one person who would give her attention that was safe was my narc Mother. I allowed alot of things to go unchecked due to guilt. I would do anything to keep her from hearing me take a beating and over the years it evolved to my Mother and daughter would actually team up on me like it was all my fault. This man was deadly and very smart. Upon finally leaving I walked off from everything and although I worked continually we still lived in poverty. I contended with crippling anxiety for many many years and my daughter was aware of it and became more and more hostile with me. Never thanking or complimenting anything I did for her only my Mother. It seems the older and weaker I get the worse she gets. It feels good when I get to experience something good with her but always goes back to being called a stupid dumb #ss loser mother fing c?#t. Which is by the way not the language or the way she was brought up at all. I don't know how to fix this or even how to feel better.. The feeling of being given a gift then hit in the face for enjoying the moment is crippling to me now. My body can't take much more . I know people think that it's easy just to want to hate her for what she's become but when you literally have no one left in your life it's quite different. My daydreams go to pleasant and inspiring to daydreaming I never wake up again. My daughter gets extremely jealous of people I show attention to. I just enjoy showing others I enjoy them and or love their company. SHE REALLY GOES NUTS on this one.,with her extreme temper. Society's pay back for me, for escaping a documented homicidal maniac, I won't say all, was to kick me in the head every time I tried too better myself . Y'all are special and gifted people. Please know you are truly appreciated and hopefully do I dare say?, there is a light at the end of my tunnel
I feel your pain my Adult Daughter 29 years old calls me names and say today she cannot wait for me to die. She just told me March fri 13 to get out her house where we have baby sit her four kids and help with remodel her house that had black mold we treat and called maid names . My husband work her step Dad of 19 years did Yard work ,sheetrock, work on tear out kitchen put in all electrical work we did for 3 months. Made her kitchen work hooked water. Put Gutter in back. I cook and Slave . 3 Days to get on plane to Germany with all this going on she picks fight because my Son law return Sametime from the Army Deploy. She has been home very little and we watch the kids. She sees that we Are not to be with her she now takes the get out Card. Our other home is 8 to 9 hour way. I am on fixed Income we rent cheap Red Roof Inn. I can not sleep I know she careless no matter what I give money or time. I use to make $ 250,000 plus year but retail own business. Her real father and half died she got about $ 300,000 money with 5 years she is crazy she believe she is all that and more. She never work before. I gave her Job- payroll little no work. She got pregnant. Well she will not be happy because I drop my Insurance. Do not give your Daughter anything she only thinks you are weak and she smart one she got your last Dollar
:( ma'am I hope you are doing fine now, I hope everything is okay with you
🙁😔🙁
I will pray for you. Focus on God. He will provide.
Yes losing my son is extremely painful.
i hear you
I know.... 😢
I am sorry
Emotional blackmail is an effective tactic as well to parents
My oldest may be a narcissist....he has not spoken to any of us for almost three years. We let him move home for nine months to get on his feet after a break up and he was pissed every time we mentioned getting full time work, a place of his own, etc. We finally told him enough is enough, and he hasn't spoken to us since.
Nancy Alexander-Carreira I feel the main reason we end up getting hurt by a Cheating partner in a relationship is being skeptical about running a private check-up on who we’re dealing with. Sometimes we may be dating a Narcissist without even knowing.There’s a popular saying that: “don’t trust too much cause that too much might hurt you so much” My worst experience was discovering my 8 years wife cheating on me through the help of Cyberhackingsage who helped cloned her cellphone. All i did was share my wife’s number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to her Facebook, WhatsApp, Snapchat , Emails and Text messages both deleted and incoming ones with a remote link on my phone. I’m here in LA and able to read my wife’s text even while she was away in Australia cheating on me. In case you need help, contact them ( cyberhackingsage@gmail ) Text/Call them +1 4242362391. You can also reach them on WhatsApp +15713758467. Thank me later.
@@joshuafalade4754 Trolling scam.
TROLL
Gotta do what you gotta do.
Pray my dad narcissistic not come home we had restraining order none likes him feel safe around male pray 🙏 him not come enjoy separating
I am 77 year year old widow and didn't realize until a couple of years ago that my daughter who is now 40 is a narcissist. Because I had her late in life when I didn't think I could have any children I gave her everything I could. I know that I am responsible for creating this self absorbed, self entitled adult. But, I am very fortunate that she decided not to have children. That would brake my heart. A few years ago I asked her why she wasn't going to have children and she said, "I think that you would love them more then you love me." My heart is broken. She is my only child, But, because everytime we talk or I see her there is so much pain I can't keep doing this. I have really, really tried to set boundaries but I can't seem to hold them. I feel like the only answer is to cut all ties to her for my own peace of mind. I know I could not do this if there were grandchildren, but, I feel that I really don't know this beautiful daughter that I raised. My heart is broken. Please pray for me and for her. Thank you.
Ditto. Cut yourself some slack. We ALL make mistakes. The road to hell is paved with good intentions! xox
What you did
Thank you for this video, I really needed it. The hardest thing for us was having to tell our son that if he was going to continue to manipulate, cause drama and abuse us that he could no longer come around. we haven't really talked in over a year now. I never thought we would have to end a relationship with any of our kids ever. We just could not take the verbal and emotional rollercoaster of abuse anymore. The heartbreak has been unbearable.
I know how u feel. I had no contact with my son for 4 years. Coming close to my end of life i made the mistake to give it another change. Big mistake don't make that mistake . They never chance. I am coming to terms that my son won't be part of my end of life nor my funeral
Sending you hugs and love. I am facing the same thing. I love my child but he walks all over me and the disrespect is unbelievable. Cutting him out completely. It has almost killed me with grief but I stand firm. Him or me. I choose Me. Hang in there. Keep busy, and find other sources of love who validate you.
@@mjremy2605 Thank you, hugs back.
@@lisastalnaker7953 I am so sorry that you're going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you that you will be able to keep your RV home and figure out some place to go and that things will work out in your favor. Blessings.
OMG. You described my brother's treatment by my mother. She did so much for him, her entire life, and he always wanted more. She treated me well, also, but he called her every morning for decades and did not hesitate to ask her for money, cars, houses. Now she is gone and he has told ugly lies about her.
That’s awful for her memory and totally discredits your own memories of her too. I too just going through this now my dad just passed and both brothers saying awful things, especially one who said he was a terrible father to him but this brother was a very difficult child, turned out to be adhd and now I’m thinking a narc too. He never visited dad thru illness and wasn’t going to show up at end either. Of course now he’s trying to have a hand in all arrangements and acting like the other stuff didn’t happen just because of the estate, he even blocked dad from wanting to update his will regarding the grandkids.,I hope you have found some peace and sanity again, no-one deserves this x
I have 2 kids. My son is a narcissist and my daughter is a loving, giving person. They were raised exactly the same.
You're lucky he didn't turn your daughter against you. That's what mine did. My daughter is weak and always looked up to him. She thinks he hung the moon.
Boy and girl aren't supposed to be raised the same. That's where you went wrong.
@@Punicia I meant they were treated no differently, given the same monies, etc. Don't tell me I went wrong with my children, you're making a big assumption on a very small piece of information. Do you know what they say about assuming?
I have 5 kids and one of them Is definitely one.
Oh my gosh ! Me too! My first daughter did everything right. My 2nd was horrible to me in her teens and up til now 32. She is in counseling now, but she only did 1 counseling session with me bc I brought up her past.
Don’t make the mistake of falsely claiming your child of being a narcissistic. For so long I’ve been depressed and upset over my mother thinking I’m a narcissistic when I’m reality I’m just a shy person that find it hard to share my emotions especially if the person is being intimidating and hostile in their actions (eg, angrily calling your child a narcissistic over small issues and acting like something is wrong with them whenever they try to fix thing) I think some parents make the mistake of trying to fit their children into this category in order to justify their child’s actions when in reality they just want an open minded figure that’s calm and approaching
Sounds like u have the 8 signs of narcissistic abuse check out the video
Just realized that my daughter is a adult narcissist. I was married to a sociopath and didn't realize that until after the divorce. Now it all makes sense. Thanks, good information.
I was too
Same. But it’s sad how it always falls on the mother.
But I no longer care about her lies and her delusions. GOD freed me of that evilness . Thank You LORD GOD.❤️🙏🏻✝️
I have a daughter who is 38 years old, and finally have had enough. There are many reasons why we got to where we are, but the final straw for me was she didn’t contact me on Mothers Day, or my birthday. That was one, final slap in the face to me, and I figured the best thing for me is to remove myself from the situation. I am sad, hurt, angry, and afraid of being alone when I get older (I just turned 64). I will always love her, and will be here if she ever comes around, but it’s time for me to let go
I have a similar situation...but I think my anger mostly derives from having to beg for support from the people I carried for years. Emotionally, physically, financially and otherwise...I was and am a good mother...and I won't do it.. its hard to be without your kids... grandkids. . But its harder to be around people who treat you poorly...its not healthy nor does it bring me joy....I serve God only....not even my children deserve that place in my life....my journey is self love and discovery....God grant me serenity to accept that which I can't change and courage to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference...
Exactly my Story as well.
My daughter treated everyone ok or nice except me, so I had to let go so we could all have peace.
I miss her and my grandkids but it sadly was the right thing to do.
@@know973There are many of us in the same boat.
Hold your head up and enjoy your peace.
I witness my parents break free from my narcissistic brother... heart breaking... watching it kills me, i feel terrible loosing brother, i cant imagine how they must feel... For everybody in similar situation - BE STRONG people... life id not easy
Same situation.. What you did to support parents? How to deal with brother?
I’m no longer in touch with my only son because our relationship was always based on him using me, although not for money bc I’m not that gullible. It’s impossible to tell the whole story here, it’s always so complicated! He’s 46 and his entire adult life I sucked it up, hoping and praying that we could have a normal mother son relationship. I finally couldn’t take any more daily rejection and we haven’t spoken since March of this year.
Fortunately my only grandson, who is 18, visits me regularly and our relationship is solid, at least right now. As a child, he visited me every other weekend his first eight years. I knew I was being used for a baby sitter, but I didn’t care and loved every minute.
Similar here. My son is 20.
@InsideandOut thank you for your response. I’m so sorry you are going through this horrific ordeal. I understand your feelings about a possible grandchild. I think my son was estranged from his son for a while, so things are not good there either. My son’s behavior towards his son was cringey at times. I see that my gs struggles with self esteem and has other issues. He is independent and has a job, and is kind young man. I think he realized the truth about his childhood, his parent’s divorce etc and that’s hard.
On Mother’s Day last year he said he wanted to reconcile, but it would only be a fake relationship, probably just for show. Although my gs is in my life, I frequently worry that his dad will turn him against me. I could go on but you know how complicated these situations are. My belief in God is what sees me through. I think we are living in the end times and that is one reason we see so much dysfunction in families, according to the Bible. God bless you. I hope you find peace and a way to have a joyful life.
I have been with a narcissist and witnessed how he treated his mother, poor woman, once forced to move and cook for his meal even if its hard for her to move half of her body due to illness. So afraid of his rage, just because he came home without a ready cook meal served for dinner.
I know there are exceptions to every rule, but for the most part, "you can tell a lot about a man by how he treats his mother."
Annie Cruz I feel the main reason we end up getting hurt by a Cheating partner in a relationship is being skeptical about running a private check-up on who we’re dealing with. Sometimes we may be dating a Narcissist without even knowing.There’s a popular saying that: “don’t trust too much cause that too much might hurt you so much” My worst experience was discovering my 8 years wife cheating on me through the help of Cyberhackingsage who helped cloned her cellphone. All i did was share my wife’s number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to her Facebook, WhatsApp, Snapchat , Emails and Text messages both deleted and incoming ones with a remote link on my phone. I’m here in LA and able to read my wife’s text even while she was away in Australia cheating on me. In case you need help, contact them ( cyberhackingsage@gmail ) Text/Call them +1 4242362391. You can also reach them on WhatsApp +15713758467. Thank me later.
@@julieb.9812 Learning about narcissism should tell you such arbitrary rules don't apply.
I experienced the ex narcissist I had, speaking harshly to his mother and demanding food. His mother suffers from arthritis, with pain and immobile movements,but when the son went to visit her, it's like she has to run up and down to fix food for him, to make sure everything is perfect for him,to make sure he is comfortable, while he only gets rude and arrogant to her.
But worst thing,is that the mother is his enabler,any time we had issues, it was always my fault but not her sons fault. I'm out 9 months Now.
Honestly most people shouldn't have kids. Very few are emotionally, morally, financially, temperamentally equipped to do parenting right.
The painful truth right here
We all have the chance to develop and not even those people you find 'valid' to have kids are perfect.
@@endoplasmatischesretikulum4999 you shouldn't take chances when it comes to bringing another human life into the world, harsh as it is
Wish it was manageable to make it necessary to get a license to have a child, much as you would to drive a car. :-( As it stands, the vast majority of the people who carefully decide not to have a child are far more equipped to raise one than the majority of the ones who actually do have them.
You can mess up with the best intentions. Having children is not a bad thing.
This is definitely one of the most painful things to endure/think about. I wish I could share my experience.
I'm going thru it too. Please share with me.
You can share it anonymously even❤️
Rely on God
@@cyndimoring9389 me too. i hear you
Same where can we
Your speaking reminds me of my life! My life wasn’t good but when I was an adult my Mom & I became closer! My daughter is a Narcissist & she’s 41 years old! I feel like I had a BAD childhood & now a BAD adulthood regarding my daughter! Have you ever heard of such a thing??? I feel like I have to be strong just to get by in life & the loss of a daughter who never appreciated her parents & the opportunities we gave her!
But what if those opportunities wasn’t what she needed, that last part is sketchy to me.
At the time she really loved those things!
Yes..we keep giving and giving until adulthood..am facing this issue 😪
That dog is super chilll
Oh yes. That's Callie!
I totally agree with this...Now as I look back I feel so guilty my son is a Narc he was raised by his narc. Father and myself. He can't. Tolerate me at all he lies, like it really happen and I know he lies. He blames me for his un successful life and it goes on and on. Im so thankful for these videos because now I understand whats going on. Its really hard having a Narc husband and child. I tried to talk to him but I told him I will not tolorate his disrespect from him or his father. So he stays away. I didn't know ? So sad about this.but I'm happy to divorce his narc dad soon. Thats the one he should hate. I love my son. Now that I have educated myself I'm not gonna blame myself anymore. Praying for strength and guidance.
I can truly feel your pain. Hang in there and know that you're worthwhile person who does not deserve what you got. Hugs!
This resonated with me so profoundly. I have been giving my daughter money and gifts for years… exactly as stated here. I grew up very poor and hungry almost every day and so I didn’t want her to be without anything. My sisters did the same thing and now we’re having to deal with entitled, difficult children who treat us like we’re inept, unpaid servants. Now I’ve been cut off from my little granddaughter and my heart is broken. Our mother used to demand financial help and then find an excuse to cut us off afterward too. It’s a perverse situation and more painful that I can express.
It won't take long for your granddaughter to miss you and turn against her mother. Meanwhile, find a foster child, or Big Sisters program and give your precious love to someone who is hungry for it. Post those photos on social media and make sure your daughter sees it. Stay strong.
Money and gifts aren't love. There isn't any emotion attached to them as they are just objects being transferred from one person to another. As it is, they are just the sort of superficial non-emotional things that narcissists prize. Emotional closeness disgusts a narcissist but that is what a child needs to feel emotionally connected to a parent. It's no wonder that without emotional connection your relationship is purelt transactional. You can't have emotional connection through transactional gift giving.
@@vivida7160 That is not what she meant. She gave gifts as an expression of love. I get it.
I'm one of those parents unfortunately! After everything we did, we are still in the wrong!!
What causes narcissism in a child when one parent is an empath and the other is a covert narcissist? Why perhaps is the empath unable to balance things out of the childrearing?
This is my situation and now the other parent is passed and I’m with the adult child who blames me for just about everything.
@@jeanhill210 my narc died too and managed to alienate our children and my sister prior to his death. I am now an elder orphan doing life alone.
It is not always the parents fault, and I am tired of everything being the parents fault, as if the child never had free will or friends and other families influencing them. I have a narc parent but I am not a narc at all, and I know this from speaking to several therapist and even personality test for jobs that require you to have empathy and you couldn't cheat on the test.
I couldn’t agree more! I have a tremendous amount of empathy for others despite how difficult my own childhood was.
These kids make choices. At the end of the day, it’s their choice.
exactly I tried setting rules and boundaries but they were toxic and abusive didn't like rules it was exausting the tantrums manipulating and damage to my home they haven't changed I will admit I gave up trying to make them listen kissed their asses because it was easier than dealing with the rage and fits
My mother was Narcissistic (or just Asian), she expected me to give up everything I like and adopt only things she wants to do. (I am only her extension of ego). So she would financially support me in things she wants to do, like traveling. If I was independent she tries to sabotage it. So later on I gave up and asked her for money and expect her to give me money, I created a situation where I am trying to force her to support me in things I wanted to do. (But it costed very little and I was trying to build a normal reward system). So if she had told people what I was doing others could have thought I was an adult child taking money from my parents when I was 40, but in actual fact what they didn't see was my life long effort in winning my mum's recognition as who I was, that was my way to get her to "grow with me". In any case, it didn't really work too well, but my mum did say seeing me starting an online business gave her some sense of pride. But because she guarded her money with so much force in supporting me in education (I didn't yield to doing what she wanted me to study) I at least didn't grow into a complete narc too, although I am still trying to heal myself from PTSD, depression, and some sort of left over entitlement/guilt/self-hatred.
My adult son has very similar behavior and speech patterns as his narcissistic father he was never around. He literally never saw his dad beyond 4 months of age. I believe narcissism can be hereditary and not behavioral
How youndealing with it now
@ishitabhardwaj1797 He's sadly gotten worse with age. Very successful man and I raised him with empathy and morals but he's chosen his own path of narcissism
I carry the pain of having to walk away from my adult daughter. I have 5 children who I have a wonderful relationship with, but walking away from her it's seriously painful because I want my family to be a whole family. Thinking about it now seriously makes be cry and break down.
I really hope it worked out Ok for you and your daughter and you found peace and happiness.
@@NickyM_0 What a kind reply. Many blessings to you! ♥️
so sorry for what you are going through
Love how the dog just sleeps through the whole thing. Love your talks
2016, after 17 years of nonsense, she was early 40's, I had to cut my narc daughter off completely, nearly 6 years now and it was the best thing I could have done. She emulated my narc ex-husband and any defence I made or stance commanding respect was stamped on.... that was never going to happen..... just like Daddy. I just consider her her father's daughter, not mine. And it's amazing how common it is... I only found out this after talking to other women about my own predicament. Best move I made. Painful at the time but rather like cutting out cancer, it was necessary to spare me. Work through the pain then just don't look back, you're worth better. x
No one's money/assets are safe when a narcissist is able to get their hands on it. My narc mother pilfered my entire college fund that my paternal grandfather had saved for me after my father died (I was 15 at the time). I had no idea until years later.
Who would ever think that their own mother would steal $25,000+ from them when they're a teenager? I know I certainly never thought she was capable of that. That was back in the mid 80's; I'm far wiser and much more informed about Cluster B disorders now than I was back then.
Wow! So sorry!!!
@@joshuafalade4754 LOL Jesus christ, you must think I'm an idiot.
@@julieb.9812 Thanks for your compassion. It took me over a decade to figure out what she did because people kept telling me that "a mother would never do that".
It's kind of humorous that people hear about the horrors that some mothers and father put their children through on the nightly news, and they hear about these things (sadly) on almost a weekly basis. Yet they still assume that no parent could ever betray or harm a child, and they hold these beliefs because they could never imagine doing such a thing.
I consider myself lucky that I finally figured it out.
My dad and his wife ripped about $70k from my dead mother's fund. You're not alone. I even thought at one point before I left home that they might make me "disappear"
@@julieb.9812 I appreciate your sympathy.
Yeah you are right. when i tried to cut him off from my life, his friends said how terrible i was, and his girlfriend convinced him it was abuse. if I didnt own a house i would be moving to another state. I dont feel bad at all about refusing to be abused by my son and ditching him. What I feel bad about is I keep taking him back. he catches me off guard and I forget that I am mad at him. I am pissed off at myself. I refuse to take the abuse even if it means I dont see my grandson. I just want to keep reminding myself to not welcome him back,
Thank you so much for this.I am an empath but I had postpartum depression. My mother took my baby to another state. Her and Grandpa raised her in a home where she was spoiled. I got her back at 5 yrs. old. She hated me from day one. Didn't want me to touch her literally. Didn't want to engage with me with homework, games, etc. At 6 she was a liar, thief, hated to lose, etc. She got pregnant and joined a gang at 16. She's now 33 yrs. and never met her father. She seethed at me for that. Abused me from age 16 to 30. I had to cut her off 3 years ago.😢
I think It’s better we understand that Life isn’t a bed of roses and it only takes a smart and determined mind to know what he or she is getting into. There’s a popular saying that: “don’t trust too much because that too much might hurt you so much”. A Narcissist shouldn’t be trusted, they are toxic. I discovered my husband of 13 years cheating on me through the help of Cyberhackingsage who helped cloned his cellphone and i was able to read all his messages and uncover his Infidelity without having to touch his phone. All i did was share my husband’s number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to his social media accounts. I read all recent and deleted chats On his WhatsApp, Snapchat, and emails with a remote link on my phone. I’m here in L.A and able to read my husband’s text even while he was away in Australia cheating on me. I found out through his chats that my husband has been secretly diverting our hard earned savings to his old school mistress for upkeeps. Thanks to Cyberhackingsage, now i am going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him.. You can contact this Sage hacker Via Gmail (cyberhackingsage@gmail ) Or Text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp +15713758467 and don’t forget to thank me later.
That child was put through hell in the formative most important years of life..... Separation Trauma Repeatedly
@@gksurabhi I had postpartum depression and something told me to kill her. So I gave her up to literally save her life. I got therapy and medication and when I was ok, I took care of my responsibility. It is what it is.
❤️ it's a dance between parent/ caregiver and child. Their personality is also part of the pain. And healing is possible.
@@Ruby-if4jf Personality cannot be changed.
Thanks for covering this topic. I have two daughters. The eldest is a 32 year old adult with whom I have cut ties. She finally broke me-emotionally, and financially. We haven’t spoken in years. Yes, it’s difficult but I finally feel I have removed the toxicity from my life. She has all the traits. Her younger sister is the absolute opposite. She has stood by and supported me. Thank God, I had the sense, at her urging, to make a will! She took everything I had but will now, in turn, receive nothing.
I'm dealing with a similar son. I'll be distributing my estate shortly BEFORE i kick the bucket if I'm at all able because I know for sure that my son will contest the will.
It breaks my heart that I have to be this way from my own child, but he would rob his siblings if i don't 😔
@@xxkissmeketutxx I can personally relate to everything that you just said. I'm so sorry. I know how painful all of this is.
@@julieb.9812 Thankyou for your kind message, although I'm sorry that you can relate. Blessings to you.
nurshark05 I feel the main reason we end up getting hurt by a Cheating partner in a relationship is being skeptical about running a private check-up on who we’re dealing with. Sometimes we may be dating a Narcissist without even knowing.There’s a popular saying that: “don’t trust too much cause that too much might hurt you so much” My worst experience was discovering my 8 years wife cheating on me through the help of Cyberhackingsage who helped cloned her cellphone. All i did was share my wife’s number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to her Facebook, WhatsApp, Snapchat , Emails and Text messages both deleted and incoming ones with a remote link on my phone. I’m here in LA and able to read my wife’s text even while she was away in Australia cheating on me. In case you need help, contact them ( cyberhackingsage@gmail ) Text/Call them +1 4242362391. You can also reach them on WhatsApp +15713758467. Thank me later.
Excellent talk! This is the first time anyone has touched on whats happening to me with my adult daughter. Very helpful.
Yes! Me too. My bio-daughter is a vile human being. She is so ill, that I had to leave her for good. She's a pig.
This is myself and my daughter. I have so much to learn💔💔💔she is so mean still and in med school so smart
I stayed home to be a good mom and be present. I was the only one that was there for her and I am the only one who gets abused.
I wish there was a way to connect and directly share w parents who are hurting, coping w their Adult Children who have really difficult challenging N. personalities. Walking on egg shells/ going Gray Rock at times has helped - but I’m not willing to totally cut all ties, let alone to abandon my grandkids, who I have helped care for since birth, and who mean the world to me. As the G.kids get older they’ve learned to do the egg shell dance, too/ and now the flying monkey thing. Most people on this channel are dealing w toxic Narc marriages & partner abuse. There is a lot of resentment and blame toward growing-up family dynamics and toxic parenting issues. But, it is a fact that that is not always the case. So, it doesn’t feel safe to share the pain & grief of being the target of a cruel toxic Adult Child.
Same here. I'm the dog they feel safe to kick.
@@catherineginther2168 i am sorry.
@@dianegraber9333 Don't blame yourself and please let go of any guilt from now on. NPD is partly genetic and most experts now agree on this. Do more research. In addition to media and culture influence, I think many of today's youth are set up to be more narcissistic. They would rather blame their parents than take responsibility for their own problems. There are no perfect parents, but we do the best we can.
I stopped talking to my mother because she always sides with my pathological lying (narcissistic) sister.
THANK you dr Ramani 🤗👍,I am come from a NARCISSISTIC FAMILY structure both on my mothers side and faters side-very ABUSING in genearations.I go NO CONTACT with them all for to save my sanity..
that peacefully sleeping beautiful dog in front of 2 adults discussing such painful issues.... OMG ! ... that dog is the most therapeutic thing!! THANK FOR THE SLEEPING BEAUTY ON THE RUG!
I could easily fit in to the narcissistic child category. My mum always buys me out of bad emotions, instead of helping me deal with the emotions. She has even been through therapists, that have enforced her beliefs that the problem is that i am spoiled. I am not sure if i agree with this video, cuz i finally realised that my mother was buying me things, so that i would put up with her gaslighting and manipulation. I cut contact, and do my best to not be dependent on her now.
The issue i have here, that Ramani does not mention, is that narcissistic parents go to therapy and play the victim, so that they get sympathy, and more narcissistic supply.
@@oluwaseunmabinuori98 you seem very self absorbed.
@@oluwaseunmabinuori98 Go away troll. You are on all the platforms. You're a scam.
I think It’s better we understand that Life isn’t a bed of roses and it only takes a smart and determined mind to know what he or she is getting into. There’s a popular saying that: “don’t trust too much because that too much might hurt you so much”. A Narcissist shouldn’t be trusted, they are toxic. I discovered my husband of 13 years cheating on me through the help of Cyberhackingsage who helped cloned his cellphone and i was able to read all his messages and uncover his Infidelity without having to touch his phone. All i did was share my husband’s number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to his social media accounts. I read all recent and deleted chats On his WhatsApp, Snapchat, and emails with a remote link on my phone. I’m here in L.A and able to read my husband’s text even while he was away in Australia cheating on me. I found out through his chats that my husband has been secretly diverting our hard earned savings to his old school mistress for upkeeps. Thanks to Cyberhackingsage, now i am going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him.. You can contact this Sage hacker Via Gmail (cyberhackingsage@gmail ) Or Text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp +15713758467 and don’t forget to thank me later.
@@FireSilver25 narc are self aware, don't be fooled.
My narc mother also just buys me things, because she’s incable of human emotions and can’t give any support otherwise but money wise. I understood that this already as a child and felt so empty with her and her stuff. She wanted to brag through me, what I do, what I wear, what she has bought me. Her relationship to me was very superficial. Even now a days I hate when people give so much emphasis on how I look. I’m like please, stop with this appearance bullshit already! I’m so over it. It doesn’t give me anything. If someone compliments etc my looks, internally I’m like ”get the f**k outta here”, but try to act politely of course. I’m so over it.
I came here today seeking help for my child. Their dad is a narcissist and he acts just like him. My son has put me in very bad situations and I often think back to what I could have done different and I take the blame for a lot. It started at 16 years old and now he's 22. Watching him is like watching his dad all over again. You see me and his father got together when we were 16 years old. At the time I was busy being a scapegoat in my family dynamic that I didn't realize I was going to be the same in the family I made. My son has put me in jail stole from me and cursed me out. But he does nothing wrong in his eyes. "if you didnt want me why did you have me?" I thought to myself wow! As much as I give and you take. When his back is against the wall after he curses me out and nobody else will help him he calls me to bail him out. I think this go round I have had enough. I love my son to death but I am tapped out of emotions and helping. Even though I am ....I am still looking for some help on how to deal.
@@lightingfires4jc285 I am so happy for you! I think I am going to do the same thing. I removed myself from their dad decades ago but he still caught on to his behaviors and that’s fine. I have grandchildren I am going to enjoy and just as you do! I wish you the best!
@@lightingfires4jc285I am living the same now with my son who is now 21. I just left his father after 25 years because I discovered that he was having an affair and making porn with his 1st cousin. My ex has always been extremely verbally, emotionally, mentally abusive to both me and my son, yet my son has stayed living with his father and has never expressed any empathy and compassion toward me for the betrayal trauma his father has put me ( well, us, actually) through. Comes to my place when it suits him, never commits to making plans to come for dinner or visit, just shows up and expects me to be sitting there waiting for him or to drop everything when he arrives and cook him something to eat. I have never treated my son the way his father does. Have never raged at him, put him down, always tried to show him the opposite of his father. I was the sole income earner for our family until 2 years ago when his father finally got a job. My son was provided the best of everything due to my hard earned income, hockey, go kart racing, not cheap sports. Yet has zero appreciation for any of it. Speaks to me and treats me exactly the same way his father does. I was the problem in my marriage according to his father and him. I am annoying, yadda yadda yadda. This weekend was the last straw. I cannot and will not endure another cycle of narcissistic abuse from my son after having finally found the strength to escape his father. As much as it hurts me, I have come to the acceptance, that like his father, he will never change, my relationship with him will never get better and I have to choose me and love me. They never will. I am done. His father raised him and modded him to be this way, so he can now reap what he has sown. I will not be used and abused any longer. Not by anyone. I don’t care who they are anymore. They will never care about me. It is a waste of time to expect any different from them.
My heart goes out to you. I had a similar situation. My son, as he was growing up grew into a carbon copy of his father. Lying, manipulative, selfish beyond words.
I had to separate. Dr Romani is dead wrong about Narcisiustic children. JUST LIKE THEY INHERITED THEIR HAIR COLOR, THEY INHERITED NARCISSISM..
It’s genetic! He could have been born with a conscience, but he wasn’t. My heart goose out to you!
@@KittyKat8946 I really wonder if boys just feel compelled to act like their fathers, thinking that's what makes them a man.
@@AnnaMishel IT'S NOT GENETIC, PERSONALITIES FORM IN/THROUGH CHILDHOOD, THEY LEARN IT. Psychopaths are born without conscience, it's not the same as narcissism/NPD.
I wonder if all of this started with Dr Spock who advised "don't spoil the baby" by ignoring them while they cry thus causing attachment disorders, now through generations we have an epidemic of NPD.
You know, you may be onto something. By the time the 80's rolled around, the Boomers became the "Me Generation". The yuppies, the "Greed Is Good", the "50% of marriages end in divorce", latch-key kids...it seems to have all started back then, as far as the US goes.
Thanks Dr. Spock.
I had a friend with NPD she has two sons. The oldest got everything he wanted even when he misbehaved. The youngest son got no special treatment, almost ignored even though he was well behaved and got good grades. The younger son started acting out about 13 because he realized the only way to get attention and reward was to act out. The oldest son looks successful married, good job and a son of his own. The younger son has fallen hard into drug abuse and has a son out of wedlock. Older son has NPD, younger son has codependency.
That was Dr. James Dobson. I have that book. A gift from my fundamentalist neighbor. 🙄
@@lunacouer social engineering all by design ,..the femminist movement...get the mother out of the house to work,,the kids in childcare the seperation of families begin.
You are 100% right, it is emotional neglect and stunts the developing emotions before they can even talk about what they're going through, and it does cause Cluster B disorders.
I’m absolutely agonizing over the trajectory and truth of our relationship. My God this is painful.
I divorced a covert narcissist spouse and was a stay-at-home parent. I kicked my young adult child out of the home at 20 years old. I gave my child many chances to change their behavior. The child moved in with the malignant covert narcissist spouse who they never had a relationship. I believe there is a strong biological component to this disorder. I did not raise my child to be a narcissist and would not be doing my job as a parent if I did not have borders. The child has intentionally not spoken to me since they left. I was the best parent I could have been but far from perfect. Sometimes children turn out to be poor human beings despite a good parent. Every drug addict, murderer, prostitute and mentally ill person had parents. Some were good and some were bad.
@@oluwaseunmabinuori98 troll go away
I think It’s better we understand that Life isn’t a bed of roses and it only takes a smart and determined mind to know what he or she is getting into. There’s a popular saying that: “don’t trust too much because that too much might hurt you so much”. A Narcissist shouldn’t be trusted, they are toxic. I discovered my husband of 13 years cheating on me through the help of Cyberhackingsage who helped cloned his cellphone and i was able to read all his messages and uncover his Infidelity without having to touch his phone. All i did was share my husband’s number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to his social media accounts. I read all recent and deleted chats On his WhatsApp, Snapchat, and emails with a remote link on my phone. I’m here in L.A and able to read my husband’s text even while he was away in Australia cheating on me. I found out through his chats that my husband has been secretly diverting our hard earned savings to his old school mistress for upkeeps. Thanks to Cyberhackingsage, now i am going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him.. You can contact this Sage hacker Via Gmail (cyberhackingsage@gmail ) Or Text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp +15713758467 and don’t forget to thank me later.
You kicked out your kid..what did they do to you..was there emotional abuse from them? We're they physically abusing you?
Looks like you're the one with the issues. If you kick your child out at 20 you don't deserve to be in their lives
Why lump prostitutes in there? Why the stigma is always on the worker/woman but never the client/man?
I just feel like no longer being on this planet.
Donna, please don't give up and reach out to those who love and care about you. You can get through this. Most if not all of those commenting here have experienced the pain and heartache that you have.
donna d I feel the same way, but keep fighting. Stay strong 💪
donna d the best is yet to come no need in giving up now while you’re in the process. It’s like waiting in line for your favorite thing or person, just stay and wait. You will be glad you did and so will the ones you don’t even realize care.
WORDZ 😎..you are not alone !!
Same here
6.38...this is the exact experience I had as a parent. And it's been a futile experience as a parent. I gave so much to this one particular son, and he is so ungrateful and entitled it's truly scary. He has never said sorry for his offenses, or thanks for anything we have done for him. I had to cut contact for his emotional abuse, and as you say Dr it was extremely emotionally painful. I'll be heading into therapy soon to deal with the pain of it all. Thank you for all your work!
theway I feel the main reason we end up getting hurt by a Cheating partner in a relationship is being skeptical about running a private check-up on who we’re dealing with. Sometimes we may be dating a Narcissist without even knowing.There’s a popular saying that: “don’t trust too much cause that too much might hurt you so much” My worst experience was discovering my 8 years wife cheating on me through the help of Cyberhackingsage who helped cloned her cellphone. All i did was share my wife’s number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to her Facebook, WhatsApp, Snapchat , Emails and Text messages both deleted and incoming ones with a remote link on my phone. I’m here in LA and able to read my wife’s text even while she was away in Australia cheating on me. In case you need help, contact them ( cyberhackingsage@gmail ) Text/Call them +1 4242362391. You can also reach them on WhatsApp +15713758467. Thank me later.
@Anita Schneiders completely agree 1000%%...so sorry for your pain!
This is me too. Mine will constantly cut me out saying I’m done with you, it’s a roller coaster of emotions.... hurt, guilt, shame, apologizing, trying to get him help, The pain is unbearable! It’s a futile effort and I’ve always have had hope and he turned 25 and I’m still hoping. Not once has he been genuinely concerned about me or his brothers welfare. It’s always about him, and he accuses us of not caring about him.
Parenting is not rainbows and unicorns by any means. It was all hard work than it seems like it was worth. That’s the guilt part. It hurts immensely. 😥
@@crystalline72 I'm going thru that exact cycle also...it just never ends. And I'm always seeking help for my 22 yr old son also. It's been another dagger in my back. I sacrificed so much, and get nothing buy grief in return. My son also cares nothing for his younger sibling who has had grave health illness. The narc child has no empathy at all; it is always about them sadly.
My bro is the poster boy for malignant narc sibling and son. He's never held a full time job. My parents financially supported him 100%. He was 50 years old when he committed gross financial elder abuse. Below is the story of what happens if you don't protect yourself.
My parents had a debt free estate, pristine credit rating plus 2 monthly pensions and SSI. My mother lived 14 months after my dad died. It took my bro 10 months to steal it all and incur $300 thousand dollars of debts and liens. He did all this while mom was in a nursing home suffering from dementia. Mom was not Medicaid eligible. Her last two months were spent on hospice and my bro stopped paying the nursing home. But he still made sure to help himself to her pension and ssi checks. She laid in the morgue unclaimed for 3 weeks because he didn't want to pay to have her cremated.
He tells everyone we stole his inheritence. 😱😵. He threatens us siblings if we don't give him money.
My husband and I have had both our car tires ice picked while in our driveway. Reported us to adult protective services for abusing elderly parents. Keep in mind they were dead for 2 years when he filed that claim. By the way there is no law against filing that sort of false claim...😡. Called adult protective services on another sibling claiming they were disabled and living in squalor. And he's used the system others ways to harass us with flying monkeys.
After 2 years of his crap, We finally had to hire a lawyer and file charges and get a restraining order to stop the flying monkey's.
The only thing we inherited was the sibling from hell that would give Satan a run for his money.
We have never given him a dime and we won't. He wouldn't care if you had to live in a tent and eat dog food in order to support him.The only time we other siblings talk is to unite from the narcs flying monkey attacks.
My mom was the narc and my dad the her enabler. According to the narc bro we heard he tells people he just wants to have a good loving relationship with us and we are mean to him.😂😂😜😳😒.
One bad apple can and does spoil the whole damn bunch.
Yep. I raised one. Very hard. I take blame because I spoiled her. She was a princess. The world doesn't bow down to her and she can't understand why not.
I have experienced this personally and I always knew that the behavior was odd and weird but after watching all the various channels on this monster disorder I now have the tools to move forward and I really want to thank Dr Ramani Durasula for all the content on this vicious disorder!!!
exactly, that's literally where narcissists come from, everyone at some point goes thru a little phase of it, some people never grow out of it
This explains my middle brother. I love him, he’s been through a lot. He’s been better mentally I think because he was studying psychology and learned a lot about my mom and himself. I do not feel bad for the parents. They caused it, they chose to spoil their kid and ruined them to become dependent. I’ve always warned my mom but she felt guilty. Well mom I went through the same things he has and never received a cent or help from you because I’m a girl who’s taken care of by a man…also dealing with a oldest golden child brother who is also ruined by my mom.
🙏💙🙏
I honestly did the best that I could. I don't even know what I could have done differently. In spite of that I've asked my son to forgive me and he of course says he does with another cut down. I am no longer going to subject myself to his abuse. My others kids are normal. They do not cut me down.
Thank you for this information. It helped me better recognize that my daughter is a narcissistic human being. I am grateful to learn so that I can protect myself and accept why I understand the importance of going no off contact more seriously.
I had to go no contact with my older adult sister a year ago. It was very difficult for me yet I will state - I never have felt more peaceful and even happier.
I am sorry you are experiencing this. It can be very painful. One day at a time - it does become easier. Best wishes. Happy New Year as well. Better days are coming. 🙏
@@donnadaisy333 yes it’s more peaceful ounce you go no contact. When any urges get me to renegotiate my decision I listen to more information about narcissism and come back to realize why no contact is important to my well being
Thank you for having the pupper onscreen! These are such heavy topics, and just glancing at the comfortable, clearly-loved dog in the room helps me to metabolize some of the big concepts. I think the dog is the symbol of a "safe space."
Please keep doing what you do. It's so helpful!
Parents need to teach thier kids rules , boundaries, and limitations. It is called Discipline.
What doesn’t make sense is the double standards of being so nice and loving to the dads that were not there ever or contributed nothing during there rearing years.
My 20 year old daughter is a full blown narcissist. It absolutely breaks my heart. The only thing I can see that made her that way is her biological father who she was NEVER raised with is a malignant narcissist. She's met him twice in her life. Other than that, I have no clue.
My mother is a narcissist and now my son, it has to be some what hereditary
No clue - over 20 years?
@@Heimskie 🙄
I truly appreciate your teachings especially because I cannot afford therapy, I live in a small Mexican town and there is none available also. Your teachings are Life Saving for me.
I met a very young ( 4) year old boy who was very narcissistic. I spent several days with this child. It shocked me how profound it was.
You can work a lot and still validate your children. In my opinion narcissistic children come from dismissive parents, fake praise, never saying no or setting any boundaries at all.
I feel like she is telling my story. I have to break with my Narc adult son who has become unbearable. In 2020 I lost my Narc adult daughter to cancer. My Ex husband was a Malignant Narc and also Bipolar. Getting a divorce finalized was like winning the lottery. The pain I have suffered from these three has almost broken me. They cleaned me out, used me for all sorts of work they needed to get done, never contact me and don't even hug me when I see them. Its been a very sad existence. My family of origin -father was an alcoholic, siblings also ended up alcoholics and with rage.
I'm glad I realized all this in time, albeit late in life. I plan to completely cut off contact with my son who I adored. He has walked all over me for the last time. It may break me to do this, but not doing this I will lost my self respect and identity. I've never seen such disrespect. I did too much for them growing up and their father was hugely Narcissistic but covert, lots of manipulation behind the scenes, and very passive aggressive. My god what a family!
Thank you Dr Ramani! I'm glad I'm not insane. Its not me. You are telling my story here 100%. I really appreciate hearing this.
For the first time I feel validated and guilt free. I was a good mom and loved my kids and gave them every opportunity. But now, I plan to enjoy my life free of this guilt and millstone.
Love the bit about teenagers. They're all narcissists. Deep Truth.
So maybe narcissists are just people who are stuck in the adolescent stage of development? Unfortunately the law sees them as adults.
Is it possible that some of them are just on a slower time table? I've heard recently that kids with ADHD are mostly less emotionally mature than their peers. (not a character defect, literally their brains are lagging behind developmentally in certain areas) Just a thought.
Good message
Wow, such a true statement.
This is honestly what I am concerned about and considering. Imagine how parents of serial killers wonder about their roles in their child's development. At some point though (I think by age 25) you have to step away though and not bail out your child. Just let them deal with the natural consequences of their decisions.
They're is some connection between autism and narcissism
Omg my mom does the same exact thing , I was soo confused and I couldn't pin point how she was toxic to me I could not explain it to anyone ,none would belive me cause " I AM JUST A KID " my mom also plays soo nice and inocent towards other people, thank you soo much for letting me know that I am not alone , for a long time I though I was wrong ,cause everyone kept on telling me that "your mom is soo nice ,u r soo ungrateful then I saw that I am not alone and other people also go thru this , I cant even move out or something like that cause I am underage ,soo I am just in a jail that I cant get out of I feel soo powerless
How relieved I listened to today's lecture. After over a dozen listened to Dr. Ramani's lectures, each time I came to the conclusion that the most narcissistic people I know are teenagers. Crazy self-centered, believing in their own uniqueness and superiority over the rest of people. I remember myself that way too. :-) What a relief I heard today that this is a normal stage of a young person's development and (most often) it grows out of it in adulthood. How it calmed me down. At the same time, when I listen to the description of narcissistic people, the word "immature" comes to my mind most often.
Harshly judged after divorcing a narcissist!! 🙋🏼♀️ My children prefer the narcissist because he has the money and buys love. I don’t bail or rescue my adult children so I’m the bad parent. I know I’m not alone because I hear this same story all the time from other divorced women.
There are also many divorced men of covert narcissistic women. The CNW divorce their husbands, kick them out of house, move their boyfriends in, claim they are molesting the children, and depending on the state the men have to pay alimony for the rest of their lives. Child support until children are 18. Men's reputations are ruined. Not to say either sex has not been terrorized by these predators. This is a reason many men will not marry or have children. 50% of marriages will end in divorce. Women file for divorce in at least 80% of cases. Many states have lifetime alimony and marital split of assets. It is poor business for a man to get married. Statistically men have a higher suicide rate after divorce. I believe narcissistic women have started the MGTOW Movement. Hypergamy is a big part of narcissism.
@@joepublic789 Thank you for sharing all that. Many men have gotten their ass kicked by narc women. It's disgusting. It needs a voice too, just like the one for victimized women. May we all find safety and peace.
Same here, Jen.
Joe Public I am saddened by the fact you believe that all women are the same. What would were to happen if you were born a woman? Wouldn’t you act the same as you are now? We are all human. There’s bad and good people. Let’s not complicate it by saying one genders worse than the other. I see what men go through, there are good women out there. Don’t believe in that cult mindset, some if not many women genuinely want to be with one man at the end. Please don’t blame all women. This probably won’t change your mind but might as well try speaking my truth. You are going to keep having the same patterns in your life if you keep thinking with a rigid mindset. You start believing that stuff it will manifest into your life, one way or another because that is what you’re giving out into the world. I can’t change my gender, I’m sorry.
Same here. I’m going through this now with my children, ages 14, 10, and 9. It is painful to endure abuse from children.
This Doctor is such a blessing. Truthfully and the hard Truths. Thank you
Thanks for doing these videos!
My son was in therapy since the age of 4 because he suffered (still does) from behavior problems and he is now the biggest narcissistic monster (like his father, my ex). He has abused me throughout his life and now he no longer wants me as a mom and grandma to his two little sons.
Thank you for a moment of validation.
Great material as always on Med Circle. Dr. Ramani is fantastic at what she does. I think it’s wonderful that she takes time to do this along with Kyle. So glad I don’t have a child or children but if I do they certainly will not be brought up in a narcissist home/environment. The only thing I don’t really agree to be true is that all teenagers are narcissistic. I’d like to know if her thoughts on this are simply taken as a belief because of a view of a what may be American teenagers. I’ve recognized these traits in some people that I’ve come in contact over my lifetime. It is quite true that when these types of personalities do something wrong to a person they do not really acknowledge that fact to that person or say that they are sorry, they do not respect other people’s boundaries among other points you have brought up in other videos. I know there are different types but anyone who can sense those red flags can pick them out. I also know that it may not be the wisest choice to choose to tell them that you know what kind of person they are, what they’re doing or whatever but sometimes you have to in order to make them realize that they’re not going to take advantage of, gaslight, drain you, etc. People like this think life is like a soap opera, they like snooping in others lives, gossiping, telling lies, stories, embellishing them, belittle & degrade others, etc. They has this twisted sense of grandiosity & superiority when in reality they’re really insecure in some ways. That is exactly why they do the things they do in order to try to compensate. When they know that you’re on top of them they should be smart enough to back the fuck off because you’re not playing their game & hopefully they realize they have a problem that seriously needs addressing within themselves.
I absolutely love this series..... I would be so happy to buy a ticket to hear Dr Ramani talk for hours.......im dealing with a narc step-child now.
Love the dog passed out so comfortingly at their feet.
I'm 'a bit slow' and I got 'narc.ed' by my adult child ! Am still trying to recover from it, emotionally, and financially ! ( I didn't understand anything about narcissism, or many other things ) !
I have a narcissistic daughter who ghosted me. I cant tell you what that did to me. I was the parent who gave and gave I'm guilty. But I will say I love her so much and I love my grandchildren. She left with harsh words I would have never said to my narcissist mom. I have decided not to go back. I have cried everyday for 4yrs I have not missed one day . I have gone over in my head over and over where I went wrong. I finally realized even if I figure out where I went wrong it is in the past its done I cant change that. I'm walking away because I need to work I cant afford to sit around and cry all day anymore. But I will say i don't tell.people I have a daughter cause like to said that's what people talk about their kids or grandchild. If someone mentions it I see it on TV in a store etc I break down. I'm in an apt because I can't be in my home because there are to many memories. I have come to accept I will never be happy again and I just want to get thru another day. I miss her and I will always love her but I cant trust her that she won't do it again. I wish all the parents out there who are going thru this all the best. I never even imagined my life would have such deep sorrow.
@debbiegeorge5718 how are you now. What you doing now
Thank you for clarifying this much appreciated 😎
I have one child, whose bio-dad was a narcissist. My son's stepfather came on the scene when my son was 5 years old. We both felt endlessly sorry for my son, because his bio-dad caused him ongoing emotional trauma. As a result, we became the child's enablers; ignoring most poor behaviors, buying lots of toys at holidays and birthdays when he was young, all in an attempt to buy his way out of misery. At the age of 10, he told me, "Please don't take this personally, Momma, but I love my dad more than I do you, because he gives me more things." I brushed it off then, but later, it came back to haunt us all. Finally, the worst argument four years ago. As a result, I finally chose to confront my son with an honesty I never had before. I never cursed at, or insulted him, but neither did I hold back, knowing if I didn't say the things I'd really always wanted to while we were still communicating, then, my opportunity would likely be lost, possibly forever. I wrote him with specifics of how I felt about he and his wife's abuse on our yrip to see them, and reinforced my feelings about it all during sparse conversations we each initiated. We went a year without speaking after "the terrible row of 2017," and you are right. That year was excruciating; one of the worst of my life. My son is now 39, and our relationahip is much improved, for which I am deeply grateful. But, it has to be said, we could never have repaired our relationship without his wanting it as well. He and I both still tread carefully, but things have improved dramatically from what they had been the last 25 years. Thank you for making this video. You've given me, and, I'm sure, all grieving parents of lost narcissistic adult children, renewed hope and a tremendous gift.
How about spoiling the kids. Many parents do that. Smothering in early childhood maybe a big cause.
Yes you are right!
Spoiling a child or not ! Does NOT create a person with a narcisstic personality disorder !!!
That was brutally visceral!
Having to make the cut. I have no choice at this point. My son is destroying me emotionally and financially. I divorced his father, who is a narcissist, when he was 6. Unfortunately, I gave his father joint custody. 😥 I also have to give up my grandchild to get through this. I have no choice!
I am experiencing the same exact thing right now. Cutting ties with my son and my 1st grandson, 5 months old. It is the most painful and difficult thing I have ever experienced in my 62 years and I have had a lot of tragedy in that time. It’s like grieving deaths. The anger and rage has taken a physical toll on my health as well as experiencing complex ptsd. I’m afraid of social media attacks so I canceled my accounts, afraid of my phone ringing so I blocked calls and leave my ringer off. I’m depressed, sad and wishing it would end but it never will. Sending prayers of strength to you. I understand.
I NEEDED to hear ALL this!!!
i protected mine and now i’m the bad guy...
Devastation, you’re right.
Thank you for the videos aswell, they are so helpful