You are NOT alone. You have sooo many people that understand you and have tons of empathy for you because they have also gone through the same or similar adversities as you!
I was the caller here and just wanted to clarify, nasal spray is NOT the addiction I’m talking about here. Alcohol was/is my problem, I simply mentioned nasal spray because it’s also a pain in the ass to kick. Thanks for the love Theo, gang 💪 -Noah
No exaggerating this popped up for me at the perfect time. I came to North Carolina to work with my cousin, been here 3 months, and it just feels like everything I do isn't right or isn't enough. Then I feel like I'm trying my hardest but my cousin says I'm not, so idk just feeling lost, but theo brings me so much comfort knowing he went through the same thing. Wishing everyone the best in their journey through life, gang gang
I just moved to North Carolina too, to start over and start fresh with my life. I totally relate. I'm working so hard and every task has been a huge fight or hurdle and very little progress. I hope things get better! You are enough, even if no one else thinks so! Gang, gang!
Dude, I just had to move pretty far from where I grew up to move into a housing program because I was going to be homeless if I stayed where I was at. The city I moved to is really dangerous and violent and I feel really alone bruh. And really scared. But for once at least I've gotten away from my comfort zone and away from home and I'm having some kind of an adventure. But man, we're not perfect so you just keep doing your thing and don't worry about what anybody thinks about it. You're going to do well, man. Gang bruh.
I’ve absolutely kicked my own ass my entire life. It’s exhausting. I’d never be as hard on anyone as I am on myself. It’s a tough habit to break. I feel for everyone commenting here, for the caller and for Theo. Hugs from New York.
Theo is an imperfect yet immensely impressive guru disguised by a false, low intelligence character. Not only is this mixture charming, but highly relatable to massive amounts of people. I fall asleep listening to podcasts of all types but i can’t do that with Theos podcast. i laugh too hard to sleep. i’m convinced this man is an absolute genius and more than that a strikingly decent human being. keep going brother stay up.
Don't throw the term guru around on people who don't describe themselves as one, and don't trust anyone who does. Theo's just another person, what makes the difference is that he's aware and open-hearted. No guru, no method, no teacher.
I got muscle issues, muscle waisting and losing ability to walk all from Agent Orange that was sprayed on my dad in Vietnam. Those chemicals altered my dna. I’ve been hard on myself my whole life because I thought I was cursed by evil. Still trapped in that but I now know after dna test, as of last year why my life was a up hill battle for everything I accomplished. Gotta keep fighting,we all have a battle no one knows about..
What showed up in your tests that specified the diagnosis if you don't mind me asking? My father was their as well& made me curious reading your account. Thanks in advance,& may GOD bless you bud
@@russellshoemaker4412 my dna protein gene was never formed correctly or basically never formed all the way. It was mutated from those chemicals obviously because I’m my dads offspring. Since I was born I had odd muscle and some body parts didn’t grow correctly or at all. As I got older teens till now it’s been a nightmare of muscular issues. VA doesn’t recognize my condition nor does American government and almost all doctors I see now do not wanna discuss or look into it. Doctors know what was done by American government
@@floridarossi9111 Wow, sorry you're experiencing that! I need to research your diagnosis more bc I have pain& it's unusual. I understand your frustration with main stream medicine bc I've been mistreated by medical 'professionals' so many times I've lost count. Thank you for sharing your story like Theo does in hopes of benefitting others. GOD is good!
I’m sorry to hear that man that is rough. Are you able to get some sort of compensation from your dads veteran benefits ? That might not be the correct way to label it but my brother works for the VA processing disability claims and I think you’re able to get some sort of stipend from the govt. anyway you probably know this and I know it doesn’t bring any real relief for what you’re going through
"There was never any peace in my house". That was it for me too. The introversion, the solitude, it took many years before i could explain myself properly to my friends, and it was one of Jordan Peterson's lectures that finally opened my eyes to what was happening. When you grow up in a house of constant shouting, fighting, and door slamming like i did, the quiet after the commotion settles becomes the signaler in your mind that its over. You learn to associate quiet with relief and de-escalation. It means nothing bad is about to happen and you can finally lower your guard and think again. Kids who grow up in angry homes struggle to let anyone get close to them as adults. It teaches you to see everyone as a potential threat to your peace.
Do you remember which of the lectures it was? I'm interested to watch it. I totally understand what you mean with associating quiet with relief and peace. Moments where my mind is running over I tend to visit nature and just sit down and do nothing but listen to the quietness. Interesting you share the same association, which I didn't even realize was there. Thank you and I wish you the best on your journey.
@@Aetoxyn I'll see if i can find it. I've saved several of his videos that i wanted to go back to again. The problem with his lectures is that he goes off on 20 tangents in the middle of a normal lecture, so this point might have been on one of those tangents making it hard to find haha. I'll reply again if I find it though
I just realized the comment about growing up in a house with shouting and fighting and anger is the reason I need to live alone, I need the peace and can’t risk anyone taking my peace away.! Wow I never thought about it before. I truly enjoy Theo , I’m a very old woman who just learned something!
Wow after hearing his message, I bet he would've never thought growing up being a young little man in Louisiana he would be such a respected figure around the world today. A source of inspiration and relatability through vulnerability is so rare and fuckin cool
This cuts so deep for me. As much as I love my parents, they’ve emotionally neglected me my entire life and even though I’ve come forward to express that in recent years, it’s changed nothing. There’s nothing worse than feeling as if you’re not good enough to be loved the way you love others, especially by your own family. I now imagine if I become “successful” how that might change my relationships with them but then realize how superficial that would be. It’s a lose lose situation. Trying my best to figure out how to heal from it all.
Same here, I feel that way on the regular too. Some days better than others. My relationship with my dad is at its best when I accept him for who he is, and know that he’s trying his best. As soon as I get too frystrated I just nitpick every one of his behaviours, and thats just unfair to him. Goota remind myself my parents are people too who make mistakes.
The part about your dad hit me right in the soul man. I dealt with the exact thing with my elderly parents. I thought if I could get rich quick I could give them a better end of their lives, and in that mindset I destroyed myself and saw myself as a failure.. I’m only 25. It’s great hearing other people going through things you think is just you. Gang gang brotha
Love you man. Ion know you but even if it was a self destructive premise, it takes a real dawg to put that weight on your own shoulders. 22 here, and even if I check out early bro, trust me you got this shit🤞🏼
This hits so close to home, I feel like I've had a similar life losing my father at around the same age (15) and feeling uncared for as a child. I just want to thank you Theo as since I've come across you I feel for the first time someone understands and hearing you talk is like someone reading back to me how I feel. Keep it up brother. Be good to yourself. Gang
You know it's crazy what theo is saying because I have loving parents that appreciate me but I still feel a lot of those feelings theo has as well , crazy how everything can be diffrent but the same in a way
Same. After a lot of therapy I came to the realization that because my parents loved me, showed me that in their own way/words, but they still made some very big mistakes, the fact that they loved me was actually what led me to believe that everything is my own fault. I was struggling so much with self hatred and it's such a relief to finally realize that hey, yes they did love me but they are still human beings and made mistakes. Not everyone who loves you will be 100% perfect for you and that is completely ok.
I love watching for Theo’s sense of humor, but I think what really pulls me in is the authenticity. Theo seems like such a genuine person, and these bits of insight are invaluable to me when I work with teens who are struggling.
That phrase is very empowering and inspirational. "I'm proud of you!" Can mean a sea of sand to some but others, myself included... a breath of air in space. Love your spirit theo.
Theo you’re so beautifully you and so authentic it makes me cry to see you so clearly. What a rare and absolutely stunning human you are! Love you so much and I’m super proud of you!
I am so appreciative for these type of real conversations. Sobriety has given me such a gift but the work is never done. Having constant reminders like this is incredible. Perfectionism is such a mother ######! Thank you Theo.
I've always been brutal to myself. The last 2 years have been my worst yet. Every single morning the moment I open my eyes I wish I could be different, look different, act and feel different. I wish I could just be someone else. And I know how stupid and wrong that is, but it's the hardest habit to break I am now 20 week pregnant and my biggest goal is to finally stop that cycle so my daughter has a Mom who can love herself, so she can also love who she is. I realized recently my Mom was always verbal about all the things she hated about herself, especially her appearance, and it passed down to me. I don't know why it's so hard. I don't wanna feel this way.
Start counting your attributes. You may not think they’re much, because of Instagram or whatever media puts ppl in their best light, but I can guarantee that you’re more naturally blessed than most of them.
Really hard on myself as well. I see it in my kids too. Counting your attributes like the previous comment says helps, making gratitude lists helps me. I write down 10 or so things I’m thankful for, even if it’s just the ability to walk pain free, or the fact that I even have a car or that I can smile. Social media and stuff like Instagram are ruining people’s confidence and making us all compare ourselves to each other. Comparison is the thief of joy. Remember, You are an amazing being, you are creating life, you are going to be a mom, one of (if not the most) important things in the world. Especially in this day & age. You’ll make mistakes and you’ll witness the most beautiful moments ever, don’t worry about capturing them with your phone so you can post them, just enjoy the moments and cherish them. Take care of yourself and be good to yourself. ❤
I always hope that activities will pull me out of depression. Maybe if I workout or learn an instrument, or learn bjj, maybe i won’t feel so shitty and will be a man that i’m proud to look at in the mirror. All i know is doing nothing and stagnating is the worst thing we can do. We feel uncomfortable with ourselves and lost in the world as men with depression but I keep reminding myself that better times are ahead. It’s tough to break out of negative thoughts.
Theo what you said about letting people know how much you hurt by not taking care of yourself because it was someone else job.....is spot on ....that someone else was parents, .....and that is the truth, the simple truth, you my friend have a beautiful way of putting things, that resonates with "us" that know ....that lives daily with the up hill struggle to look after ourselves, God bless you bro
The thing about being perfect so that maybe your dad would stay alive hurt a lot. I lost my dad this year. Been his carer for the last 10 it's been a surreal time
Love you Theo , love you everyone, lately I’ve been noticing that I’ve been so negative and hating on everything , i just want to love. I hope everyone have a great upcoming week and holiday ❤
💯 no body was anything on me either. I had no boundaries and no real love. It made me think I had to be perfect bc maybe one day they’ll notice and I’ll finally be lovable.
@@StephenAlanChandler "Treat yourself better" in what sense? Like Theo said if you're not hard on yourself and hold yourself accountable then no one will cuz no one gaf about you and you will be the one who suffers and sinks because of it.
@@Cub__ You can be hard on yourself knowing your potential but you are a person too. Sometimes we treat ourselves worse than we would the people we love. Self hate is a very selfish thing no matter how you look at it because all you care about is your flaws rather than what you actually like about yourself. Also Theo’s opinions are his, it’s okay to have your own lol
Theo basically grew up with no father. It's so important to have that guidance and reassurance. Theo you are brilliantly funny and more importantly you are a good person. Addictions fill voids. Find a healthy Addiction is the best advice I can give.
His point about not taking care of himself was so special to me in a sense that Ive found that I’ve always taken more care of people I loved then cared for myself and I’d make a point of doing it more then someone had ever done for me . Much love Theo 🫶🏽
Theo this resonated with me a lot man. I grew up without much attention from my parents too and I felt every part of what you were talking about. Thanks for posting this. It takes serious strength to show vulnerability like this. Gang Gang.
Damn I can relate. I'm my worst enemy. Nobody can say anything that I haven't said about myself. It's this weird desperation to be perfect yet at the same time my standards are too high to ever reach that. It takes substances to feel self love and substances alone is self abuse. Idk.
5:25 this part resonated so deeply with me. This was a super emotional, real, and powerful moment. Thank you Theo ❤ god bless you I may not do as good as i can every day. But i’m glad that i finally started taking care of myself a year or so ago.
Theo, I love this perspective and you are just doing real good. ''I know how hard it is to take care of ourselves''. That's the real one. Thank you man
This is so spot on bro. So glad he brought up alcoholism. I'm an alcoholic and am so fucking hard on myself. I drink to forget all that shit, everyday. I know I have to fix it. Thanks for understanding theo.
I’m a newer listener. I absolutely love your authenticity and vulnerability. It’s so beautiful to see. I completely understand why people gravitate to your show - it’s making a real impact. Well done and G-d bless.
Thanks for being a real person Theo. A lot of people walk around and don’t open up about our flaws as humans. It’s relatable to a lot of people. You don’t make people feel like your something better because your famous. You will always get the respect you put out to the World and Theo is deserving of all the respect we got.
Somehow you and your clips are a message I needed in my life just with things I have weighing me down. Big fan brother keep doing you. Just don't ever let yourself get over burdened. The world needs the Rat King! Gang gang
I started watching Theo because of his this is not happening story. I fell in love with Theo and will always support you brother for being so vulnerable. For crying over things I refuse to let myself cry over. For putting words to feelings I can never describe. I love you Theo. Please stick around for a long, long time my friend.
“It puts it on me, which is the only thing I can rely on” yeah man that’s it… Right there. Us guys put a lot of pressure on ourselves for not being where we think we’re supposed to be at. We see life as a finish line instead of a race. Let’s just stick together man, help each other out. Figure this shit out together. Stop measuring dicks with each other and start helping each other be better. Love your homies and be honest of where you’re at.
I’ve been dealing with depression and I’ve really been going through some shit my sister died after a 3 year fight to cancer and a month later my mom got diagnosed with cancer and she has just gotten out of surgery I’ve been watching these videos because I can’t sleep at night even with a the pills I take and this is really comforting me and this all happened about 2 weeks before my 14 birthday in 2023
I'm 46 now and have always been hard on myself as an adult. Theo said something that hit me. I also never had anyone tell me what to do as a kid. I love these raw conversations. Thank you, Theo ❤️
fellow “hard on yourself” gang here - yeah as a war refugee immigrant, I relate to that upbringing and exactly how Theo said it is why I think we get hard on ourselves: as kids, certain circumstances make it impossible to have our full needs met so as kids we create the reason “I’m not good enough” - what’s fucked up is as adults we still run that same kid logic cause as kids we can’t understand the depth of those circumstances. it’s up to us to just remind ourselves and much to love to you who’s reading this and going thru it ♥️ gang baby it gets better
I lost my son to SIDS and I broke for a long time. You never get past it. You just learn to live alongside it and do everything for them and your other kids... I make music that's how I get my emotions out..
Theo, I love your moments of self-reflection and thoughtfulness towards your own existence, and how you use it to shape your understanding of the universe.
I really appreciate the honesty from both of you. They say the worst enemy is your own self. Use it for fuel though and it’s all a process to learn how to step on the breaks
I feel me and Theo have the same experience of being raised by an older paternal figure. My parents got divorced when I was still a kid, and my grandparents raised me. My mom moved away and my dad stayed single living his life while I was being taken care by grandma and grandpa. Later they got divorced when I was an early teenager and once again I was without a home and parents. Even having all the love in the world they could give me it lasted shortly, and I still cling to those years wishing I could go back, my whole family is apart, no one talks to each other anymore and it seems I am the only one who remembers when we were whole. It feels good to put it out here, I really don’t have the courage to share with anyone else because I raised myself with the mentality of not “playing the victim”. It’s hard, but my main goal in this life is raising a beautiful and stable family and to give them every love and nurture that can exist. God bless you all.
You are a thoughtful, honest, and beloved person, Theo. Edit: the comment about your childhood feelings about your dad made me remember my own childhood OCD like habits. "If I do X, then Y won't happen." I think many children must use that coping mechanisms.
theo, my best friend recently gave some great insight to a situation like yours. your older/foreign/rual parents likely came from unaffectionate parents themselves. theres a generational gap here that isnt only defined by age but also culture and affection styles. it can be hard to deal with irrational feelings, and especially those we carry with us from childhood. sometimes identifying the pain is the hardest part. kids are amazing at blaming themselves for things outside of their control. our natural instinct is to do everything we can, and even that which we cant, for our families. hope this helps. sending good vibes from the jersey shore 🌊
5:35 “i just always wanted to show you how much i was hurting”, “when you look at me you’re gonna see how much i hurt”. I honestly don’t know what to say after hearing this. It feels like the first time in my life that that feeling I have isn’t just me. I didn’t know. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do I feel the need to show others how horrible I feel, instead of the normal reaction of hiding it, and helping myself? I never knew Theo was like this before now. This changes how I see him. Thanks for showing me that someone else understands how it feels. I still have a long way to go.
Crazy to me how many of us hate ourselves or are just hard on ourselves. We love you Theo and to all my brothers and sisters, y'all keep your heads up and be good to yourself.
Thanks for being there Theo. Thanks for talking and sharing your experiences and feelings. Trust me you reach to so many different people from different parts of the world.
I’m a bit late to the show here. Subscribed recently and your stuff is really ripping me. Your comment about trying to be perfect to save your dad beautifully reflects how we think sometimes. As a kid, I came to believe that there was nothing good in the world and that if anything happened that was “perfect”, the world would end. Mom left dad. Dad started new life. Mom was messed up. Raised myself (not well). Drugs. Alcohol. Had lots of blessings along the way, but even today I feel lost.
This makes me cry man. I relate to you so much brothers. I'm glad I got to watch this now. I hope you guys are riding that journey. I admire how intuitive you are von. If there was anyone I would ever want to meet it'd be you man
“Nobody was nothing on me” I really relate to this and I couldn’t explain it to myself the way theo just did. I just feel like my problem is nothing when I think about it, but when he said that I realized it’s not a thought that I made up, and that there’s someone who feels it too
Theo is a beautiful soul. Reminds me of my best childhood friend Dicky. Funniest guy, most caring, and been through more shit than anyone. True case of Post Traumatic Growth.
Thank you Theo you really helped me today. I've struggled with self worth. Hard to take compliments and appreciate the good things I do. I was called worthless and a mistake. But I know now they were wrong.
Im thankful but heartbroken to see and hear others going through similar things. I hope you all find your self worth and the thing that brings your smile back. The lord knows i've been looking for years.
I just had my son on 11/10/2022 & he’s 3 weeks old and two nights ago I broke down bawling my eyes out & just held him and apologized to him, my partner said I had a meltdown. No I haven’t slept pretty much at all since he’s been born and I am letting my boyfriend sleep because he will be going back to work. I’ll go back after my ML but then put in my notice and continue raising our son but I’ve been REALLY hard on myself. I have 8 years clean and sober in March and I worked my ass off to get clean and sober and stay clean and sober. We wanted to get preggo and it wasn’t a walk in the park, it was a hard 9 months for me and fucked with Me mentally, physically, so I’ve been praying a lot of meditating & the serenity prayer.
So proud of you for getting clean. That's amazing and one of the most difficult things a human will do. Imagine what your capable of now. You got this. Your body and mind have just come out of being pregnant, in fact still is,which is traumatic. You need to give yourself time. If you re able and can get your partner to look after your child once and a while, you also need to take time out for you. You ve never had a break! Between going through addiction, getting clean, being pregnant. You re exhausted, understandably! Be kind to yourself. Congrats on your beautiful boy.🤗
I think you can be hard on yourself in a positive way. There’s a fine line between being disciplined, and being way too hard on yourself in a degrading way. As an addict who has been sober for 7 years, I am now addicted to lifting to weights.. but it has turned into me having body dysmorphia, and always thinking I can’t take any days off, and can’t have cheat meals. So while it’s a good addiction, it can also be negative since I’m afraid to cut loose sometimes, and eat some pizza and wings or whatever. It’s something to work on for sure. We are hard on ourselves because we want to be better! Where do we draw the line though?… Thanks for the message Theo, I love your honestly and I love your podcast.
Well done on getting sober! An addiction is only truly an addiction when you’re suffering negative consequences from it but still pursue it anyway. If there isn’t negative consequences but you can’t get enough of something, that’s a passion. And the negative affects may be things like suffering negative feelings from the hyper focus on your body, it may interfere in your relationships or work, you may suffer stress when not doing said things, it can be lots of things. But I think that’s the line imo
I’ve been hard on myself in the past but it’s been hitting me in the new year on a different level. Slowly teared to this one having a similar upcoming as a child, thank you for the words Theo 💙
Awesome clip man. I feel the same sometimes, life is hard. But it doesn’t have to be and that’s what I’m remembering. Love yourself and shit just comes together. Trying to love as much as I possibly can
Sometimes it feels as if I walk this path alone but it's comforting to know I have others walk alongside.
Thisss comment😢❤️
You are NOT alone. You have sooo many people that understand you and have tons of empathy for you because they have also gone through the same or similar adversities as you!
Thank you for this.
I very recently saw Neal Brennans latest Stand up special he was also talking about how hard he is on himself. Made me feel a little less alone
Beautiful. I needed this
I was the caller here and just wanted to clarify, nasal spray is NOT the addiction I’m talking about here. Alcohol was/is my problem, I simply mentioned nasal spray because it’s also a pain in the ass to kick. Thanks for the love Theo, gang 💪
-Noah
How you doing now brother?
Hope you’re doing okay brotha 💪🏼🫡
Hope your getting better bro
Hope you're doing good my man
Wishing you all the best in life🙏🏼
One of the realest dudes in the industry, appreciate you Theo
Real one!
"An uncomfort that lives in us" that was some truth right there
Buddy, right??? Ugh right on the mark. That dirty voice that conflicts with everything else. Sucks. Still fighting with that mfer
"Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping" Jordan Peterson
Really love that. Going to start thinking like that
That is fkn magic! Cheers bloke
"A great man is hard on himself; a small man is hard on others." - Confucius
No exaggerating this popped up for me at the perfect time. I came to North Carolina to work with my cousin, been here 3 months, and it just feels like everything I do isn't right or isn't enough. Then I feel like I'm trying my hardest but my cousin says I'm not, so idk just feeling lost, but theo brings me so much comfort knowing he went through the same thing. Wishing everyone the best in their journey through life, gang gang
Bruh companies are DYING to find good ppl right now. Keep your eyes and ears open for a place that might appreciate you a bit more. One love Bro. Gang
All the best for you on the fight back to the top brother
I just moved to North Carolina too, to start over and start fresh with my life. I totally relate. I'm working so hard and every task has been a huge fight or hurdle and very little progress. I hope things get better! You are enough, even if no one else thinks so! Gang, gang!
Dude, I just had to move pretty far from where I grew up to move into a housing program because I was going to be homeless if I stayed where I was at. The city I moved to is really dangerous and violent and I feel really alone bruh. And really scared. But for once at least I've gotten away from my comfort zone and away from home and I'm having some kind of an adventure. But man, we're not perfect so you just keep doing your thing and don't worry about what anybody thinks about it. You're going to do well, man. Gang bruh.
You have to bare the storm to see the rainbow brotha
“I expected myself to be perfect and no one ever is” I think this is what we all battle with. ❤
So real bruh
I’ve absolutely kicked my own ass my entire life. It’s exhausting. I’d never be as hard on anyone as I am on myself. It’s a tough habit to break. I feel for everyone commenting here, for the caller and for Theo. Hugs from New York.
This was tough to read as I can relate. I feel your pain. Thanks for sharing and being open. Wishing you peace. Wishing myself peace
Same man...
This was very lovely and needed for me. Can’t imagine how important it is for men and their mental health to hear Theo talking about his experience.
Indeed!!! 💖
amen...
he saved me honestly
A breathe of the freshest air
You are a soldier of a women for understanding that
Theo is an imperfect yet immensely impressive guru disguised by a false, low intelligence character. Not only is this mixture charming, but highly relatable to massive amounts of people. I fall asleep listening to podcasts of all types but i can’t do that with Theos podcast. i laugh too hard to sleep. i’m convinced this man is an absolute genius and more than that a strikingly decent human being. keep going brother stay up.
Don't throw the term guru around on people who don't describe themselves as one, and don't trust anyone who does. Theo's just another person, what makes the difference is that he's aware and open-hearted.
No guru, no method, no teacher.
uh yeah dude i know all that. I was just using the term in a silly way. @@grimble4564
Guru 🤣
Everyone has a story they just ain’t on tv or UA-cam maybe grow up a little
the guru thing was a joke dude. idk where the agression is coming from but I hope today is better for you. @@amacca2085
Well said
6:12 I’m literally in tears here, started dying laughing when he threw in the random gay comment. Theo really is one of a kind
Just being honest🤣🤣
I was looking for this comment haha, it took me off guard it was so outve left field haha 🤣🤣
I got muscle issues, muscle waisting and losing ability to walk all from Agent Orange that was sprayed on my dad in Vietnam. Those chemicals altered my dna. I’ve been hard on myself my whole life because I thought I was cursed by evil. Still trapped in that but I now know after dna test, as of last year why my life was a up hill battle for everything I accomplished. Gotta keep fighting,we all have a battle no one knows about..
What showed up in your tests that specified the diagnosis if you don't mind me asking? My father was their as well& made me curious reading your account.
Thanks in advance,& may GOD bless you bud
@@russellshoemaker4412 my dna protein gene was never formed correctly or basically never formed all the way. It was mutated from those chemicals obviously because I’m my dads offspring. Since I was born I had odd muscle and some body parts didn’t grow correctly or at all. As I got older teens till now it’s been a nightmare of muscular issues. VA doesn’t recognize my condition nor does American government and almost all doctors I see now do not wanna discuss or look into it. Doctors know what was done by American government
@@floridarossi9111 Wow, sorry you're experiencing that! I need to research your diagnosis more bc I have pain& it's unusual. I understand your frustration with main stream medicine bc I've been mistreated by medical 'professionals' so many times I've lost count. Thank you for sharing your story like Theo does in hopes of benefitting others.
GOD is good!
Hope things get better, Florida. I know all about that "cursed by evil" kind of thing. Believe me. God bless, brother.
I’m sorry to hear that man that is rough. Are you able to get some sort of compensation from your dads veteran benefits ? That might not be the correct way to label it but my brother works for the VA processing disability claims and I think you’re able to get some sort of stipend from the govt. anyway you probably know this and I know it doesn’t bring any real relief for what you’re going through
"There was never any peace in my house". That was it for me too. The introversion, the solitude, it took many years before i could explain myself properly to my friends, and it was one of Jordan Peterson's lectures that finally opened my eyes to what was happening. When you grow up in a house of constant shouting, fighting, and door slamming like i did, the quiet after the commotion settles becomes the signaler in your mind that its over. You learn to associate quiet with relief and de-escalation. It means nothing bad is about to happen and you can finally lower your guard and think again. Kids who grow up in angry homes struggle to let anyone get close to them as adults. It teaches you to see everyone as a potential threat to your peace.
Do you remember which of the lectures it was? I'm interested to watch it.
I totally understand what you mean with associating quiet with relief and peace. Moments where my mind is running over I tend to visit nature and just sit down and do nothing but listen to the quietness. Interesting you share the same association, which I didn't even realize was there. Thank you and I wish you the best on your journey.
@@Aetoxyn I'll see if i can find it. I've saved several of his videos that i wanted to go back to again. The problem with his lectures is that he goes off on 20 tangents in the middle of a normal lecture, so this point might have been on one of those tangents making it hard to find haha. I'll reply again if I find it though
@@OHG_Fawx Thanks, don't worry about it if you can't find it tho.
Thank you for your comment, this gave me pause and some much needed reflection. I never put those two parts of my life together.
I just realized the comment about growing up in a house with shouting and fighting and anger is the reason I need to live alone, I need the peace and can’t risk anyone taking my peace away.! Wow I never thought about it before. I truly enjoy Theo , I’m a very old woman who just learned something!
" If I were better, if I were perfect, i'd be loved. " Too relatable.
Wow after hearing his message, I bet he would've never thought growing up being a young little man in Louisiana he would be such a respected figure around the world today. A source of inspiration and relatability through vulnerability is so rare and fuckin cool
I hope Theo is okay when the cameras are off
Me to man
I think he is. I can tell just listening to him. He is a really strong person.
@@davidcook680yes he is🙌🏻
@multorumunum bro he has openly said he's been sober for years
Clean* not sober
"Im proud of you" you the man theo. That shit hit hard.
Life is hard. Hugs to everyone who feels like they aren't enough, to the people who struggle to feel happiness. Take it one day at a time. ♡
Brother you've done so much for mental health and people battling addictions thank you
Seriously, I just want to hug this man and make sure he knows how much he's done for me
This cuts so deep for me. As much as I love my parents, they’ve emotionally neglected me my entire life and even though I’ve come forward to express that in recent years, it’s changed nothing. There’s nothing worse than feeling as if you’re not good enough to be loved the way you love others, especially by your own family. I now imagine if I become “successful” how that might change my relationships with them but then realize how superficial that would be. It’s a lose lose situation. Trying my best to figure out how to heal from it all.
Same here, I feel that way on the regular too. Some days better than others. My relationship with my dad is at its best when I accept him for who he is, and know that he’s trying his best. As soon as I get too frystrated I just nitpick every one of his behaviours, and thats just unfair to him. Goota remind myself my parents are people too who make mistakes.
The part about your dad hit me right in the soul man. I dealt with the exact thing with my elderly parents. I thought if I could get rich quick I could give them a better end of their lives, and in that mindset I destroyed myself and saw myself as a failure.. I’m only 25. It’s great hearing other people going through things you think is just you. Gang gang brotha
Love you man. Ion know you but even if it was a self destructive premise, it takes a real dawg to put that weight on your own shoulders. 22 here, and even if I check out early bro, trust me you got this shit🤞🏼
Watch Gabor Mat’e👌Suppressed Childhood Trauma🙌🏼💙
Watch Gabor Mat’e 👌Suppessed Childhood Trauma left me Addicted For Years🤷🏽♂️💙
Its staggering how emotionally aware theo is. I just want to reach this level
I can definitely relate. No matter what I accomplish, I find reasons to feel bad about it
This hits so close to home, I feel like I've had a similar life losing my father at around the same age (15) and feeling uncared for as a child. I just want to thank you Theo as since I've come across you I feel for the first time someone understands and hearing you talk is like someone reading back to me how I feel. Keep it up brother. Be good to yourself.
Gang
You know it's crazy what theo is saying because I have loving parents that appreciate me but I still feel a lot of those feelings theo has as well , crazy how everything can be diffrent but the same in a way
Same. After a lot of therapy I came to the realization that because my parents loved me, showed me that in their own way/words, but they still made some very big mistakes, the fact that they loved me was actually what led me to believe that everything is my own fault. I was struggling so much with self hatred and it's such a relief to finally realize that hey, yes they did love me but they are still human beings and made mistakes. Not everyone who loves you will be 100% perfect for you and that is completely ok.
Because we still want to control the outcome of everything. Its hard.
I love watching for Theo’s sense of humor, but I think what really pulls me in is the authenticity. Theo seems like such a genuine person, and these bits of insight are invaluable to me when I work with teens who are struggling.
If you’re reading this know that you’re loved and that you matter. You deserve the best version of yourself, so fight for it.
Life is so damn hard. I love you all.
That phrase is very empowering and inspirational. "I'm proud of you!" Can mean a sea of sand to some but others, myself included... a breath of air in space. Love your spirit theo.
Def true, I don't want to be mean to myself but the first and only person I blame is me no matter what.
Watched this last year when I was in a really dark time. This year I’m much better, these things pass. Theo thank you for being vulnerable. Gang gang
U r a blessing Theo. Thank u for the comedy, the compassion and your personal wisdom.
Finding a way to truly love yourself is really one of the hardest things to do.
Theo you’re so beautifully you and so authentic it makes me cry to see you so clearly. What a rare and absolutely stunning human you are! Love you so much and I’m super proud of you!
I am so appreciative for these type of real conversations. Sobriety has given me such a gift but the work is never done. Having constant reminders like this is incredible. Perfectionism is such a mother ######! Thank you Theo.
Dude....just wanted to give theo a hug this whole clip, gang gang
I've always been brutal to myself.
The last 2 years have been my worst yet. Every single morning the moment I open my eyes I wish I could be different, look different, act and feel different. I wish I could just be someone else. And I know how stupid and wrong that is, but it's the hardest habit to break
I am now 20 week pregnant and my biggest goal is to finally stop that cycle so my daughter has a Mom who can love herself, so she can also love who she is. I realized recently my Mom was always verbal about all the things she hated about herself, especially her appearance, and it passed down to me.
I don't know why it's so hard.
I don't wanna feel this way.
Start counting your attributes. You may not think they’re much, because of Instagram or whatever media puts ppl in their best light, but I can guarantee that you’re more naturally blessed than most of them.
Really hard on myself as well. I see it in my kids too.
Counting your attributes like the previous comment says helps, making gratitude lists helps me. I write down 10 or so things I’m thankful for, even if it’s just the ability to walk pain free, or the fact that I even have a car or that I can smile.
Social media and stuff like Instagram are ruining people’s confidence and making us all compare ourselves to each other.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Remember, You are an amazing being, you are creating life, you are going to be a mom, one of (if not the most) important things in the world. Especially in this day & age. You’ll make mistakes and you’ll witness the most beautiful moments ever, don’t worry about capturing them with your phone so you can post them, just enjoy the moments and cherish them.
Take care of yourself and be good to yourself. ❤
@@sunshine3914 exactly why I dont use social media. Thank you for the kind words.
I think it will be impossible to hate yourself when you look at the face of your child 😊
I always hope that activities will pull me out of depression. Maybe if I workout or learn an instrument, or learn bjj, maybe i won’t feel so shitty and will be a man that i’m proud to look at in the mirror. All i know is doing nothing and stagnating is the worst thing we can do. We feel uncomfortable with ourselves and lost in the world as men with depression but I keep reminding myself that better times are ahead. It’s tough to break out of negative thoughts.
Hey man! You can do it! Promise you. I feel the same way, but I always come back to Theo for a laugh. You got this! WE got this!
Theo what you said about letting people know how much you hurt by not taking care of yourself because it was someone else job.....is spot on ....that someone else was parents, .....and that is the truth, the simple truth, you my friend have a beautiful way of putting things, that resonates with "us" that know ....that lives daily with the up hill struggle to look after ourselves, God bless you bro
The thing about being perfect so that maybe your dad would stay alive hurt a lot. I lost my dad this year. Been his carer for the last 10 it's been a surreal time
I’m sorry for your loss🙏
I can’t imagine losing my pops man, I hope this pain in your heart can heal brother.
@@drewerotic thankyou
@@Starhooter17 thankyou
I know what you went through mate you’re tough as nails and the world can throw ll it’s shit and problems at you and you will overcome them
Love you Theo , love you everyone, lately I’ve been noticing that I’ve been so negative and hating on everything , i just want to love. I hope everyone have a great upcoming week and holiday ❤
@Stank…Thanks, hope the best for you. ♥️
You too bro!
You are loved. Happy Holidays! I hope you have a great rest of your year. Also, I hope you have a happy new year. Yay 2023!
💯 no body was anything on me either. I had no boundaries and no real love. It made me think I had to be perfect bc maybe one day they’ll notice and I’ll finally be lovable.
Theo is an amazing man, he's great no matter mood you are in and he speaks his mind which is very rare for a celebrity to do.
We are all hard on ourselves. It’s sad really.
It is what it is
Agreed that 99% are too hard on themselves... hard to lay it all at the foot of the cross, but oh so worth it.
May GOD bless
@@Cub__ or it doesn’t have to be. Treat yourself better 👍
@@StephenAlanChandler "Treat yourself better" in what sense?
Like Theo said if you're not hard on yourself and hold yourself accountable then no one will cuz no one gaf about you and you will be the one who suffers and sinks because of it.
@@Cub__ You can be hard on yourself knowing your potential but you are a person too. Sometimes we treat ourselves worse than we would the people we love. Self hate is a very selfish thing no matter how you look at it because all you care about is your flaws rather than what you actually like about yourself. Also Theo’s opinions are his, it’s okay to have your own lol
Theo basically grew up with no father. It's so important to have that guidance and reassurance. Theo you are brilliantly funny and more importantly you are a good person. Addictions fill voids. Find a healthy Addiction is the best advice I can give.
So real man it’s hard day to day when your biggest enemy is your self and you go to war in your own head every single day man. Much love
I felt this b. I think having peace of space to think is essential and its difficult opening up to others without that
His point about not taking care of himself was so special to me in a sense that Ive found that I’ve always taken more care of people I loved then cared for myself and I’d make a point of doing it more then someone had ever done for me . Much love Theo 🫶🏽
Theo this resonated with me a lot man. I grew up without much attention from my parents too and I felt every part of what you were talking about. Thanks for posting this. It takes serious strength to show vulnerability like this. Gang Gang.
Damn I can relate. I'm my worst enemy. Nobody can say anything that I haven't said about myself. It's this weird desperation to be perfect yet at the same time my standards are too high to ever reach that. It takes substances to feel self love and substances alone is self abuse. Idk.
I feel this so much
Theo your candor, honesty and authenticity is a rare thing. Thank you!
5:25 this part resonated so deeply with me. This was a super emotional, real, and powerful moment. Thank you Theo ❤ god bless you
I may not do as good as i can every day. But i’m glad that i finally started taking care of myself a year or so ago.
People like Theo because he's hilarious but we love him because hes so genuine and relatable.
I really loved this dude man I don’t feel alone anymore
Thanks Theo. Been watching you and Goggins. Enough is enough. What a legend
i needed that theo thankyou just hearing about two guys being honest thats some good shit
Theo, I love this perspective and you are just doing real good. ''I know how hard it is to take care of ourselves''. That's the real one. Thank you man
Nice to hear such a genuine person with a platform
we here theo thank you and we grow man
This is so spot on bro. So glad he brought up alcoholism. I'm an alcoholic and am so fucking hard on myself. I drink to forget all that shit, everyday. I know I have to fix it. Thanks for understanding theo.
I’m a newer listener. I absolutely love your authenticity and vulnerability. It’s so beautiful to see. I completely understand why people gravitate to your show - it’s making a real impact. Well done and G-d bless.
This resonates with me so much. Can’t express how helpful and meaningful this clip is. Thank you so much 🙏 ❤
Thanks for being a real person Theo. A lot of people walk around and don’t open up about our flaws as humans. It’s relatable to a lot of people. You don’t make people feel like your something better because your famous. You will always get the respect you put out to the
World and Theo is deserving of all the respect we got.
Love ya Theo. The realest of the real, my friend. Gang Gang.
"There's some days when your podcast is the only thing i smiled at" i feel that brother, you ain't alone 🖤
Somehow you and your clips are a message I needed in my life just with things I have weighing me down. Big fan brother keep doing you. Just don't ever let yourself get over burdened. The world needs the Rat King! Gang gang
All love Gang baby! We aren’t soft for taking care of ourselves! Much love
I started watching Theo because of his this is not happening story. I fell in love with Theo and will always support you brother for being so vulnerable. For crying over things I refuse to let myself cry over. For putting words to feelings I can never describe. I love you Theo. Please stick around for a long, long time my friend.
Theo is a modern day preacher with no agenda. I love you man.
“It puts it on me, which is the only thing I can rely on” yeah man that’s it… Right there. Us guys put a lot of pressure on ourselves for not being where we think we’re supposed to be at. We see life as a finish line instead of a race. Let’s just stick together man, help each other out. Figure this shit out together. Stop measuring dicks with each other and start helping each other be better. Love your homies and be honest of where you’re at.
I’ve been dealing with depression and I’ve really been going through some shit my sister died after a 3 year fight to cancer and a month later my mom got diagnosed with cancer and she has just gotten out of surgery I’ve been watching these videos because I can’t sleep at night even with a the pills I take and this is really comforting me and this all happened about 2 weeks before my 14 birthday in 2023
I'm 46 now and have always been hard on myself as an adult. Theo said something that hit me. I also never had anyone tell me what to do as a kid. I love these raw conversations. Thank you, Theo ❤️
Sending love to all who come back to this video when they feel lonely❤
fellow “hard on yourself” gang here - yeah as a war refugee immigrant, I relate to that upbringing and exactly how Theo said it is why I think we get hard on ourselves: as kids, certain circumstances make it impossible to have our full needs met so as kids we create the reason “I’m not good enough” - what’s fucked up is as adults we still run that same kid logic cause as kids we can’t understand the depth of those circumstances.
it’s up to us to just remind ourselves and much to love to you who’s reading this and going thru it ♥️ gang baby it gets better
i cried several times too during this but i am happy im alive
I lost my son to SIDS and I broke for a long time. You never get past it. You just learn to live alongside it and do everything for them and your other kids... I make music that's how I get my emotions out..
Theo, I love your moments of self-reflection and thoughtfulness towards your own existence, and how you use it to shape your understanding of the universe.
Theo von is the most likable person I've ever known. He's got such a great heart and loveable to others.
I really appreciate the honesty from both of you. They say the worst enemy is your own self. Use it for fuel though and it’s all a process to learn how to step on the breaks
I feel me and Theo have the same experience of being raised by an older paternal figure. My parents got divorced when I was still a kid, and my grandparents raised me. My mom moved away and my dad stayed single living his life while I was being taken care by grandma and grandpa. Later they got divorced when I was an early teenager and once again I was without a home and parents. Even having all the love in the world they could give me it lasted shortly, and I still cling to those years wishing I could go back, my whole family is apart, no one talks to each other anymore and it seems I am the only one who remembers when we were whole. It feels good to put it out here, I really don’t have the courage to share with anyone else because I raised myself with the mentality of not “playing the victim”. It’s hard, but my main goal in this life is raising a beautiful and stable family and to give them every love and nurture that can exist. God bless you all.
Respect!
You are a thoughtful, honest, and beloved person, Theo. Edit: the comment about your childhood feelings about your dad made me remember my own childhood OCD like habits. "If I do X, then Y won't happen." I think many children must use that coping mechanisms.
theo, my best friend recently gave some great insight to a situation like yours.
your older/foreign/rual parents likely came from unaffectionate parents themselves. theres a generational gap here that isnt only defined by age but also culture and affection styles.
it can be hard to deal with irrational feelings, and especially those we carry with us from childhood. sometimes identifying the pain is the hardest part.
kids are amazing at blaming themselves for things outside of their control. our natural instinct is to do everything we can, and even that which we cant, for our families.
hope this helps.
sending good vibes from the jersey shore 🌊
and not even being gay.
the recovery in your life just the way you conduct yourself is palpable theo you’re a role model
5:35 “i just always wanted to show you how much i was hurting”, “when you look at me you’re gonna see how much i hurt”. I honestly don’t know what to say after hearing this. It feels like the first time in my life that that feeling I have isn’t just me. I didn’t know. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do I feel the need to show others how horrible I feel, instead of the normal reaction of hiding it, and helping myself? I never knew Theo was like this before now. This changes how I see him. Thanks for showing me that someone else understands how it feels. I still have a long way to go.
Crazy to me how many of us hate ourselves or are just hard on ourselves. We love you Theo and to all my brothers and sisters, y'all keep your heads up and be good to yourself.
It’s hard being human.
Thanks for being there Theo. Thanks for talking and sharing your experiences and feelings. Trust me you reach to so many different people from different parts of the world.
Realest dude you know.
I’m a bit late to the show here. Subscribed recently and your stuff is really ripping me. Your comment about trying to be perfect to save your dad beautifully reflects how we think sometimes. As a kid, I came to believe that there was nothing good in the world and that if anything happened that was “perfect”, the world would end. Mom left dad. Dad started new life. Mom was messed up. Raised myself (not well). Drugs. Alcohol. Had lots of blessings along the way, but even today I feel lost.
The decency to take care of yourself it’s not selfish or different it’s okay to take care of yourself and love yourself unconditionally 💯💯
This makes me cry man. I relate to you so much brothers. I'm glad I got to watch this now. I hope you guys are riding that journey. I admire how intuitive you are von. If there was anyone I would ever want to meet it'd be you man
“Nobody was nothing on me”
I really relate to this and I couldn’t explain it to myself the way theo just did. I just feel like my problem is nothing when I think about it, but when he said that I realized it’s not a thought that I made up, and that there’s someone who feels it too
Theo is a beautiful soul. Reminds me of my best childhood friend Dicky. Funniest guy, most caring, and been through more shit than anyone. True case of Post Traumatic Growth.
Thank you Theo you really helped me today. I've struggled with self worth. Hard to take compliments and appreciate the good things I do. I was called worthless and a mistake. But I know now they were wrong.
Im thankful but heartbroken to see and hear others going through similar things. I hope you all find your self worth and the thing that brings your smile back. The lord knows i've been looking for years.
I just had my son on 11/10/2022 & he’s 3 weeks old and two nights ago I broke down bawling my eyes out & just held him and apologized to him, my partner said I had a meltdown. No I haven’t slept pretty much at all since he’s been born and I am letting my boyfriend sleep because he will be going back to work. I’ll go back after my ML but then put in my notice and continue raising our son but I’ve been REALLY hard on myself. I have 8 years clean and sober in March and I worked my ass off to get clean and sober and stay clean and sober. We wanted to get preggo and it wasn’t a walk in the park, it was a hard 9 months for me and fucked with
Me mentally, physically, so I’ve been praying a lot of meditating & the serenity prayer.
So proud of you for getting clean. That's amazing and one of the most difficult things a human will do. Imagine what your capable of now. You got this. Your body and mind have just come out of being pregnant, in fact still is,which is traumatic. You need to give yourself time. If you re able and can get your partner to look after your child once and a while, you also need to take time out for you. You ve never had a break! Between going through addiction, getting clean, being pregnant. You re exhausted, understandably! Be kind to yourself. Congrats on your beautiful boy.🤗
I think you can be hard on yourself in a positive way. There’s a fine line between being disciplined, and being way too hard on yourself in a degrading way. As an addict who has been sober for 7 years, I am now addicted to lifting to weights.. but it has turned into me having body dysmorphia, and always thinking I can’t take any days off, and can’t have cheat meals. So while it’s a good addiction, it can also be negative since I’m afraid to cut loose sometimes, and eat some pizza and wings or whatever. It’s something to work on for sure. We are hard on ourselves because we want to be better! Where do we draw the line though?… Thanks for the message Theo, I love your honestly and I love your podcast.
Well done on getting sober! An addiction is only truly an addiction when you’re suffering negative consequences from it but still pursue it anyway. If there isn’t negative consequences but you can’t get enough of something, that’s a passion. And the negative affects may be things like suffering negative feelings from the hyper focus on your body, it may interfere in your relationships or work, you may suffer stress when not doing said things, it can be lots of things. But I think that’s the line imo
Hug hug!! Deeply appreciated the honest!!
I’ve been hard on myself in the past but it’s been hitting me in the new year on a different level. Slowly teared to this one having a similar upcoming as a child, thank you for the words Theo 💙
Awesome clip man. I feel the same sometimes, life is hard. But it doesn’t have to be and that’s what I’m remembering. Love yourself and shit just comes together. Trying to love as much as I possibly can