My Ex Is Too Stubborn To Reach Out
Вставка
- Опубліковано 5 жов 2017
- My ex is too stubborn to reach out. Do you believe your ex won't ever reach out due to their stubborn nature? Coach Craig and Margaret explain why that's not likely to happen!
Get Craig's help personally: www.askcraig.net/take-action/
Coach Craig and Margaret explain what stubborn is, why we are stubborn and how it affects trying to re attract an ex.
Get Craig's help personally: www.askcraig.net/take-action/
Get Margaret's help: www.askcraig.net/margaret-1/
Craig's workbook series: www.askcraig.net/workbooks-1/ - Навчання та стиль
I miss him so much. I can’t believe we’ve even come to this point. He was my best friend. I let my relationship anxiety push him away. I loved him so much.
As I love mine and her anxiety and my stubborn self have tore peices outta each other
How are you doing now? Did he reach out?
I want to thank the two of you for another wonderful video..
update ?
Same. She was my first true love but I pushed away straight into the arms of other men now. I'll never forgive myself. Now going to therapy smh
I found this to be really enlightening. I especially liked the explanation of using no contact to show your ex that you respect their decision. Breaking up is the ultimate expression of "I need space." Trying to chase them and force them to do something they clearly don't want to do is disrespectful and selfish and pushes them even further away. I think keeping this concept of respect in mind will make it easier for more people to use no contact in the right way and for the right reasons.
It definitely is not selfish.
It’s harder to see it as respecting their decision when they send indirect breadcrumbs
It sucks losing someone that you not only loved but became your bestfriend :(. I get the urge to message my ex sometimes but I've been trying to control my anxiety which was most likely the main reason I pushed her away. I love and miss her so much and I'm kinda proud of her for standing up for herself and not letting me take her for granted anymore or push her away with my separation anxiety problems. I hope she'll come back, and let me show how much work I've done. You never know what you have until it's gone..
the same here
424qwertyuiop My crush has your personality being mentioned. Do you think a person wants you to reach out? I could explain I'm not mad at them ignoring me, and I just want to know what's happening. I think they got scared after a date.
J I guess it really depends but like Coach says, if they back away you back away. Unfortunately we can't force someone to respond to us :(
424qwertyuiop Okay thanks for responding. I guess I'll just back away. It's sad people do this.
Same here
It hurts when they first leave. I work on myself, hoping they will come back. The problem is by that time I feel recovered and feel good about myself again and when they come back I don't really want them back.
It'd be a lot easier for me right now to know that she'll never contact me again. The uncertainty is almost worse than me always thinking something will change. It's been hell the last month and a half since she dumped me.I miss her SO much.
How did it work out? Just curious after watching this channel
.Update?
My ex isn't stubborn, she just doesn't love me anymore.
She doesn't deserve you man ! You're a great person trust me .give it time
G Money I’m sorry 🙏🏽
They are making a huge mistake. These people are immature and childish
My ex is spilling her guts over the internet. Pouring her heart out. Revealing how she wants to be with me again six months after she initiated the break up. No contact is doing the job. And giving her my absence is creating an avalanche of anxiety in her. Now she is about seven digits away from reaching out to me. She has stood her ground this long. But she is standing on shaky ground as she notices the self improvement and the changes in me. Craig and Margaret's advice was right on. Her rebound dumped her over a month ago. Her pride and stubborn attitude won't last. Thanks Coach Craig and Margaret!
Jinx Lee
So… What ended up happening? Update?
I found a new woman. With a secure attachment style. With better mental stability. Meanwhile the ex has gone back to her ex. Who is a serial cheater and is abusive. She took him back and she is now pregnant with his baby. I don't want any part of that mess. My new lady is great! And the compatibility is fantabulous! We are both happy and extremely satisfied with no drama.@@kellyseager8163
@@kellyseager8163 I got tired of her drama. And found a better woman with a secure attachment style. With no drama. And she cam't get enough of me. She is a much better match and a much better date who doesn't scream and holler over petty issues. WOW! What a relief! I finally found a woman who wants to be happy with me in her life. Who likes flowers and candy. Unlike my ex. And ME! This lady is in love! And has a positive attitude. And knows a good man when she finds one. My self improvement has finally paid off.
@@jinxlee8556how is it now?
MARGARET IS DROPPING GEMS
totally! "You have to be more interested in listening, than in what you are going to say to them." i may have to get that tattooed on my arm.
I would argue the point it is abnormal behavior to get to the point where you can no longer communicate. It takes two people to make a relationship work. And you will soon discover you cannot carry the load by yourself no matter how much you care.
I don't believe she will ever contact me again. No matter how committed I am to our relationship.Better to cut the loss and move on.
So what happened ? I see your comment 3 years later. Are you together again or no? Just curious
The avoidantly attached resembles stubborn to me!!! Closed off and hard to reach.
My ex is the most stubborn person I've ever met in my life. Every Time we've had fights and I would stop talking to him, I am always the one who ends up breaking no contact and reaching out to him first. He NEVER has been a man and apologized to me or reached out first. Now this time it's been about five months of no contact and I fear that I will never hear from him again. I don't want to be weak like in the past and reach out. I want him to know how serious I am.
Update??
I have spent over a year trying to find help on a situation with a person from my past, and your videos are the only thing have have helped. Truly these videos are the only thing keeping me going right now in the right path! Thank you so much!
Love all your advice and the light heartedness sometimes. It is a relief and makes my hard times easier.
I’m not sure if he feels STUBBORN but I am certain he feels GUILTY and SHAMEFUL for doing the dumping. I wonder how long it will hold him back from contacting me.
I feel personally attacked by that anger stuff. Wow, first time I've ever had an eye-opening moment in one of these videos.
I found so many of your videos that see right through my decisions and people's decisions. I used to pride myself on how self-reflecting i am and how insightful i am about human psychology, but i realized i wasn't THAT good. I am good, but not THAT good. Thank you.
24:12 on point for the avoidant who feels trapped as the anxious becomes more forceful.
My ex is stubborn...she broke up with me because I was standing up to her controlling behaviour...her passive aggresivness and need to dictate the tempo of our relationship, I called her out on,because she actually has a lovely side too...Sometimes blatant honesty with your partner can backfire.
She dumped me 1 week ago,and been doin no contact since.
Didn't chase,beg or text once.
She has to take her controlling behaviour and reign it in.
I couldn't go there again,unless she acknowledged it,and stopped it.
The Irish Romeo any updates?
Update?
Margaret really rocked it with the those in depths explanations...I love this smart lady!...oh, and Coach Craig too of course...!
You’re right, if someone has too much stubborn attitude it’s before to be alone.
I love this format. I just got schooled by the two of you. It’s extremely beneficial to learn about generalities rather than only specifics regarding one particular (email) situation. Specifics are great, but this format is an excellent way to delve into educational topics applicable overall. 😊
Wow! So much wisdom in this video. I've watched a bunch of your videos, but this one really hits home on so many levels. Thank you for looking so deep into these issues ❤
I wish that I knew this 20 years ago.
This makes total sense.
My behaviour in the past has been my own enemy. But I won't stop working, because its better for everyone if I can be the best version of myself that I can be.
Excellent! In relationships, if you are not on the same page, it will not work out. Just listen to your gut/intuition.
First! Is this the best explanation for stubbornness you've ever heard or what!
Coach Craig Kenneth I’m not sure if you remember my skype but my ex LITERALLY SAID in the breakup “once I make up my mind I don’t change my mind.” Then her mom stated “I’ve never seen her change her mind when she has her made up her mind”.....
Coach Craig Kenneth I’m the stubborn one. The one that expects him to do things my way. But I do respect his decision. I do also it’s a bit of both. He does have a tendency to behave that way with others. But I do see that even if he is being stubborn, I need to give the freedom to be able to be himself. That is why I broke up with him. I let him go be free. Good stuff and thank you. I’m saving this one!
Coach Craig Kenneth oh yes!!
Hands down
Coach I learned that people treat stranger better then their loved ones.
I am sorry for my previous comment. Now i know EXACTLY why she became stubborn. Just as u said i was anxious and wanted her to follow my side and she was afraid to lose her freedom. I also learned that i have fear of anger because of childhood troubles. I am happier now that i am learning more about myself because of this channel and coach Lee.
But what did it cost?
Everything.
One of the best video! Congrats to Craig and Margaret!
You two are the best duo since Batman & Robin
💖
My ex is very stubborn but I do feel optimistic that he will want to reconcile. I am giving him his space and giving it some time. This break up has been really tough for me and I’m sure it’s been tough for him as well. Right now I’m working on myself and just moving forward.💖
So good to read your words. I'm 5 weeks into NC and though I dont feel I want to contact my ex, it is still a struggle day by day..
So how did it go with your ex? Has he reached out to you? Do ex's reach out if they believe you cheated or lied? (Even if you didn't ) but had a back up plan with another man for a few months. ?...😔
Update??
update?
God I love you guys. I don't know what I would have done without you're guidance. Thank you!
The thing Margaret was saying about child not eating food and their parents’ reaction really hit home for me. I realised a couple of years ago how badly my mum raised me and even now at 30 years old I’m struggling in relationships because of my upbringing. But with regards to the food eating, I was a picky eater, and my mum would force me to eat foods I didn’t like, which only made my intolerance of eating increase. But not only that, she would severely reprimand me for not eating my meals, and sometimes they would get tipped on my head. Another time I didn’t like my cereal so she made me sit there until it was gone. It got soggy and she force-fed me it. I developed a terrible eating habit for years because of my mum’s treatment of me. When she could’ve just said “okay Kory, I’ll make you something you actually like”, or “okay, if you don’t want to eat, you’ll go to bed hungry.” And let me go. But instead she imprisoned me at the dinner table until I was either in tears or covered in my meal. It still haunts me today.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that.
She’s very narcissistic. I even tried to talk to her about a serious issue recently and she ended up crying for days and playing the victim. I also told her my childhood wasn’t great and I want to build a better relationship with her. Same again. She even said “I saw nothing wrong with your childhood?”. She’s absolutely clueless. I’ve just had to detach from her.
@@SuperMisterKory You did the right thing mate. The right person for you will accept you no matter what. If anything, that right person will be equally sympathetic and will do what is possible to ensure scenarios like the moments of abuse you experienced in the past will never happen again.
Three months and 2 weeks of no contact. Still sleeping less crying and down. Long distance relationship of three years was cut short by a rejection on texts because of many reasons especially his depression during such a difficult time. It's hard to see from his perspective and I keep hurting. I want him back n hope for him to be better on his own while I try n work on myself. It's upsetting every single day
Update please?
Greeeaaat stuff Margaret!
Doing no contact, even if she wanted to reach out to me eventually, she would be to nervous to talk to me first cuz she would probably think I was mad at her/over her cuz of the no contact. I know this because she told me before she overthinks/cares a lot what people think about her.
I miss the dogs is a legit excuse 😂
Thanks for all the work and knowledge. I feel like little by little my soul is coming back to me. Not my ex. my soul
You guys are amazing! Thank you for such insightful information! Keep up the good work
You made me look at it all different. Good stuff
great video, glad to have come across your channel. its been a major help. thank you
Described my ex exactly. Will continue no contact. Thank u!
I love you as my elder brother Coach. Thank you for all informations.
I really struggle to become angry with someone because I'm afraid of my own anger and how it can make others feel. As a child I was put down whenever I was anyway angry. Now I struggle to use my anger in positives way, except for sport
That’s my ex for sure! Thank you.
Maybe my ex might be scared of anger. She has a really hard time saying no to her boss or her friends, but on the other hand she does sometimes get angry at people and vent to me about it. Some people she never says no to, but other (like me) she wasn't even remotely scared of saying no to as she knew I wouldn't get upset with her about it
Coaching sessions?!?! How about talking about it much more in the daily vidoes?!!! lol Talking about "calming ourselves down". I'm at about a -8 with that task.... EEK! Love you guys! All 3 of you are amazing in your own ways, as well as some of the same. 😘
LOVE this woman Margret! ♥
Great advice coach
My ex, at first, told me she wouldn’t hesitate to tell me if she wants to get back together. A couple weeks later, she told me she wouldn’t bother telling me.
Just as I’m watching your informative video, my stubborn ex called me. I went radio silent for a couple days and he reached out. This is a man that is very hard lined about his decision to break things off and not willing to work through things and compromise. Your teachings work and I have a huge amount of anxiety over this breakup. My fears and my attachment style have gotten the best of me. I’m working hard on changing my behaviors. Hopefully he will see that if he comes back, I will be a better person. Thanks again for all you do! You’re saving my life and well being.
update?
Update
.update?
Coach your teaching and explaination is really great and it enable person to think three dimentiinally and that works.
Thanks a lot ......
I am from india.
I love to watch your all videos.
Amazing greetings to this wonderful clarification from Egypt 🇪🇬
You two are the best!
Pride comes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall...
Proverbs 16:18
I'm going through a breakup also, wishing he'd burn up my phone just so I can ignore him. I like these videos also, but the bottom line is if we have to give it this much brain power and strategizing, the ex us simply not the right person for us. Still heart crushing tho.
Your videos just help me a lot everyday, just broke up 10 days back
.update?
Hey coach Craig Kenneth, love your videos they've stopped me from doing some pretty stupid things to try and get my ex back. I was wondering if you could make a video on "how to keep a girl chasing you while in a relationship"
But why do they always show up the moment you give up and start not to care about them?! I went NC then really started to let go of the hope that we'd still be together. Then booom! There he was bombarding me with all his messages of apologies and how he wants me back. Smh
Maybe somehow our subconscious knows that this moment is coming but some people most maybe are reacting with a negative way to that message i have seen that too many times to myself and now i know that feeling its like that voice says no no dont to that etc.
Leon Kennedy well atleast some actually see it and do something about it before it's too late. Thanks for letting us know lol
gla22 i mean i see it in general in other things too like poker of course i would do something in that situation also i have learn from this kind of message
Isn't how it is.. When we give up..
Did you end up working it out?
Excellent excellent on so many levels.
I am in no contact but can't see my ex coming around.
did they ever come around?
Yeah, what happened? Did they contact you?
TheMadMattster No
Rocky Waters No it’s been 18 mths
@@sanlaw584 I'm sorry. Do you feel stronger now? Have you met someone better?
Favourite video! Learnt so much...Wish I could double like 🙏
Avoidant attachment attracts anxiety
My ex gf (she just broke up with me yesterday) ended it with her ex before me and did no contact for TWO YEARS because she didn't wanna "give him the satisfaction" that she cared too much about him and give him all the power. When she came back after two years, she thought it was gonna be this huge moment where she came back and he was gonna be crying that she's finaly back in his life and he's gonna jump at the opportunity to have him back, but when she called him he was like "ok" and kept everything casual lol. He clearly did not care one bit, and she still loved him even after those two years. Those entire two years in her mind was about him, he never left her mind...and little did she know that he had moved on a while ago.
But yeah that's why I'm nervous that she might do that to me if I try doing no contact with her. She wants to "win" instead of being seen as the desperate one.
Nick P why would you want someone like that??
I love Margaret amazing wisdom..
You both make a great team
Ive never seen anyone with a big ego as my gf. I refuse to call her ex because we will work it out. And live a happy life.
BVB BVB Any updates?
@@UpUpDnDnLtRtLtRtBAStart Still in No contact. although i still love her, i have healed slightly and became stronger man.
@@afrobian1 any update man. It’s been a year
@@stogie0608 we reconnected last year in June, it was great we travelled together etc... then in Sep neither of us could compromise about moving to our cities ( she used live here but moved so far away to be close to her family) so we split amicably. we didnt talk since Sep until last week she sent me a text. and i replied... we ve been cool since texting almost everyday. my guess is she is planning to come back? but i dont wanna start that conversation. so we will see what happens. :)
@@afrobian1 that’s awesome man. Glad to hear. It gives me hope.
This video is very enlightening
So, you need to leave anyway. And either they come back for fear you leaving, or you move on with past left behind. Treat every getting back together as breakup.
That is exactly the dynamic I'm going through now.... she's too prideful. Her last email was stating "don't bother...no chance of reconciliation".. I broke up with her, and we have both been not reaching out.
.update?
I liked this video, makes you think, (after all the weeks, months and maybe years) if your ex IS really stubborn about reaching out. However, you still have doubts about it.
Wow God has angels on earth ❤️🙏🏽
What if my ex isnt stubborn, but feels too guilty or is too afraid of rejection to reach out?
I would say after a few months it really doesn't hurt to reach out to them but do not keep trying. try a time or to but no more. if they're not interested they're either still not ready or just dont want it back
I'm 9999999.999% sure my ex is too stubborn to reach out despite using his own son to ask me a favor yet still no reply or thanks. Then ASSUMING Christmas gift box was for both (with only son's name). Only good thing is there are tons of reminders of me in their apartment. His brother, one of his sisters and a mutual friend unfriended me after breakup, yet son and another sister didn't want to cut ties.
Great video
Yeah truly best explanation of stubbornness..
I really love this video 🤩
I love videos where they both together
Brilliant video I have to ask how you are supposed to act or reply if they do reach out for something silly. How is it possible too know how to reply
My ex is one of those absolutely terrified people of people being mad and stuff. I really don’t see her reaching out due to that. Particularly when I didn’t react to the breakup particularly well (dumped via text). I really do wish I sent the clean slate message back when it happened. Think it may be too late at this point to not be seen as manipulative but I truly, genuinely feel terrible about it. And it truly was completely out of character for me. Hopefully at some point she realizes that she had never seen that before in the 12 years we knew each other and year of dating and that it’s not typical of me but her fears rule her life and I don’t see that happening. That’s something I’m going to have to own going forward. I still don’t think it was terrible compared to how a lot of other people would have handled it but still. She’s incredibly sensitive.
Did she reach out?
@@rwentfordable I ended up hearing from her about 2 years later. Told her I wasn’t interested in reconnecting in any meaningful way and sent her on her way. Once you do the work on yourself you’ll level up past them. Most of me doesn’t remember what I saw in her now
I think my ex is way too stubborn and when he makes a decision he sticks to it so I doubt that even if he wants to get back together he won't say anything
My wife is the same .
So frustrating
.update?
@@truecrimetales2200 nope! I'm very sad about it but I'm trying to move on the best I can
@@truecrimetales2200 well the funny thing is we still work together so he didn't really need to reach out to me 😅 it's been about a year and 2 months since he broke up with me and he has not mentioned once about us getting back together and I never wanted to bother him about it either
@@truecrimetales2200 thank you. And the best of luck to you as well in life!
Probably is a cancer .. They like to ghost and have a hard time admitting to their wrongs .... He did NOT upgrade ...lol ..I tried to talk with him ..he had no remorse ! None ! Oh well ..I took time to heal and am blessed 100 fold with a better man .
Brilliant video thank you. 🙏
But it really seems like my ex is stubborn!! She don’t want to let go of the idea that’s shes “the prize” and I’m not 😒
I wish I had the cash, but I won't for a long while, it is too expensive. I have a very unique situation which isn't covered in any video.
Wow, wish I found this before I texted her-
Is this something that could be improved with therapy if partner does extreme stubbornness, shutting off, ghosting til they feel, leaving and disappearing as a means of control to win (even when there really isn’t a fight?) - They always come back when they feel like and all I’ve done at this point is just walk away and begin no contact which I may honestly never undo. | is it possible some people truly just become stubborn to win and even won’t contact just to stand in the mud longer to show they can be tougher & bigger and badder and more unscathed than you? I’ve never experienced this in 35 years and if therapy could help this I would consider it, because I didn’t think anything could change him. He was hit for 20 years by a parent and has no coping mechanisms beyond defensiveness and not showing anyone “break” you.
Yep that’s me. I was no contact before no contact was cool 😂. I’ll die before I give in if it wasn’t my fault. I admit my mistakes so if I did something I quickly admit and correct it. But if I was done wrong…and they won’t admit it….it will snow 6 feet in hell before I reach out. I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong and I expect to get the same in return.
Craig nailed it he described my ex perfecty
Coach Craig, what if when your ex broke up with you, he immediately asked to take it back because he realized it was a mistake.. But then you ask for space after he spends hours trying to change your mind.. and he agrees to give you time. Should you still wait for him to reach out during no contact then, or is that your responsibility now?
He's very stubborn,and a narcissist too,and worst if all he picked someone over me,he said I have love for you but I'd rather be friends,I'm crushed!! I don't think he'll ever come back,plus he's used to me always looking for him
Love Margaret :)
She's amazing
I haven't had a coaching from you but I have watched every video and I cannot put into words how grateful I am for the effort you put into the videos I have learnt so much about myself and other people and have put my head in the right place as regards getting over my childhood and returning to competitive sport after a 15 year absence and a battle to overcome obesity to do so. I remember your video where you thought Margaret wouldn't make it and smile every time I see a video with her in as all our prayers got answered. Keep up the good work in changing people's lives people you will never know or meet, one view at a time. You are both the guidance I never had.
so are You Craig, amazing, YES . thank you both
Wow this was good!!!!
I just had a breakup i try to stop her still she left me alone i try my best
And yeah she has a bad attitude and very pride of herself she never apologize never and i dont think so shes coming back
Good video....👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
My husband is stubborn. He left me six month ago after 28 years of marriage. I am devastated and want him back. I told him I will give him space and time, after a lot of begging, but he says he can't and gas moved on. I will NOT accept this. I asked if he still loves me than he hesitate for a second and said Yes. Another time I Said I want him to come home and he said in a low voice, you may not want me back meaning later. This won't happen as far as I'm concerned. Please advise option.
YES! My ex gf is just like that! She'd rather be alone, stick with her decision and feel wanting a boyfriend rather than admit she misses me and try to work things out. She even told me before that her beautiful sister "is also without a bf because she has just as bad a character as me". She would rather wallow in her grief rather than come before me and initiate the conversation to say sorry. If she never comes back i hope she REGRETS HER DECISION FULLY months and years later. My fucking idiot little girl oh why did you do it.
I understand how you feel but most people move on. Oh we would love to believe those.who hurt us spend their lives grieving for us but truth is they get over us in time as we get over them.
@Archiveman she did but she doesnt regret it she keeps blaming me. What a fucking idiot she is.
Refreshing video
I hate my parents. Abusive, control freaks, and they always want problems.
Cause of that I only stay in my room when im home and if I’m out I won’t go home unless I know they’re sleeping...
This is the worst part ab my breakup situation.
My parents always have had my anxiety at an all time high recently and it’s not getting better.
It’s been terrible for years and it’s like I’m still not used to it. I wish it could b over w em
Hugs
Thanks keep it up
So even if they were the one to never listen to me whenever i spoke about anything break up with me, i still have to tolerate not being heard at all and just listen to what they want, forsaking what i want or need??
You are correct they would reach out they don't because they don't want you at that time not because they are being stubben
True: I have learnt if someone really wants to be with you they will do whatever it takes to make it happen vice versa.