How To Heal Your Grief By Changing Your Story | David Kessler, Grief Expert

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  • Опубліковано 27 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 114

  • @victorframpton1743
    @victorframpton1743 10 місяців тому +33

    This video is so much better then the grief meetings I’ve been going to

  • @minnielove5293
    @minnielove5293 11 місяців тому +18

    Thanks,Mr David .My. Husband passed away 8-2023, three kind of cancer, God, and you have helped me so. Married 29 years. People who don't understand ,fight you and some don't even listen too what you say. Love you. Negative people Will always be around ❤. Don't become bitter, that's not what your love one's won't for you.❤

    • @BecomingManifiesto
      @BecomingManifiesto 9 місяців тому +4

      Yeesss same here! 20 years together! Sudden death 8/23, the most brutal day of my Life. We need more Love around.❤

  • @rachelbunt2188
    @rachelbunt2188 Рік тому +32

    This man is helping me , thank you sir

  • @GangStar_6
    @GangStar_6 Рік тому +19

    I’ve had 8 people close friends and family members pass away in just four years. I got another funeral to attend soon. Great video

  • @Cooperfan54
    @Cooperfan54 10 місяців тому +12

    One amongst a million… how could someone even be able to have a therapy session with him. Grief is the hurdle I can’t figure out. Or at best conceptualize. A message we all need to hear. And how special to break it down with such a wise person.

    • @vickishoemaker9064
      @vickishoemaker9064 6 місяців тому +2

      On September 1, 2000, my 40 year old brother was standing 10 feet from his 9 year old son and was struck by lightening in the chest. He died.
      My 9 year old nephew's mom died of Pancreatic cancer when he was 20 years old.
      Mom had Alzheimer's for 5 years, she fell and broke her hip, she died from protein malnutrition
      My 58 year old brother hung himself December 9, 2023.
      4 facts - no emotion.
      Put some emotion to that over the course of 24 years.

    • @raindropsfukushemiaflavore9914
      @raindropsfukushemiaflavore9914 2 місяці тому

      ​@@vickishoemaker9064I can't, my emotions are numb, not working well. That's why I'm here, hoping to find ways to heal. But I do want to give you
      ~biggest hugs~

  • @alessandrachavesphotograph3857
    @alessandrachavesphotograph3857 Рік тому +31

    I like how you always give examples to clarify.

  • @wandasewell4501
    @wandasewell4501 5 місяців тому +10

    Everything was great in my life with my husband he passed away at 70..I think that was young. He died from demitia.
    That's all I can think about.
    We were married for 30 years.
    I was 32 and he was 42 when we married.
    He left me with a lot, but died too young.
    We only had 30 years to be soul mates.
    The best man, I will love him forever!

  • @sharonann729
    @sharonann729 Рік тому +15

    This guy makes a lot of sense. The first half of the video about the story we tell ourselves and our old wounds was especially helpful.

  • @mindysharp7488
    @mindysharp7488 10 місяців тому +8

    Very much appreciated this video. Thank you

  • @vickifrederick2934
    @vickifrederick2934 Рік тому +5

    So much information,not the same ole 5 or 7 steps but deeper ways to self help

  • @MsTheeg
    @MsTheeg Рік тому +7

    This is a beautiful and helpful video shared in a very matter of fact, yet compassionate and authentic approach.

  • @Makalani503
    @Makalani503 9 місяців тому +2

    Thank you David, I didn't think I could surmount the painful events of my life. Your tools have given me hope and I see that it is possible to overcome loss, and live a happy life!

  • @davidbrett1958
    @davidbrett1958 3 місяці тому +1

    I have been going through a potential break-up more of what feels a slow de-orbit rather than a fast plane crash. How I've conducted myself today compared to just yesterday after finding your information has been literally miraculous im amazed thankyou so much this is literally life changing.

  • @lnbarbee19
    @lnbarbee19 Рік тому +4

    Thank you David I learn so much from you already.

  • @Cmyangels106
    @Cmyangels106 7 місяців тому +6

    OMG! Story of triumph!!! Just the piece of the puzzle I have been searching for to reenter my life and society in general. Thank you David.

  • @Leslie-x6y
    @Leslie-x6y 9 місяців тому +1

    Excellent haven’t thought of it that way as I’ve recently gone through grief and trauma and have been working towards deeper self awareness yes my story has the silver lining but it also brings me to deeper understanding as I have two grandchildren with mental disorders I deal with daily. It’s tough a lot of days but I find joy in the little accomplishments that present

  • @lavandagastrica8185
    @lavandagastrica8185 2 місяці тому

    I love that you give so many examples....thank you for simplify it for me

  • @TheMissprincessleah
    @TheMissprincessleah Рік тому +5

    You're so awesome. I wish I could book a private session to discuss recent traumatic events in my life. Ty for your insight, knowledge, & examples.

  • @ggavinkru
    @ggavinkru Рік тому +2

    The story can change. Yes. Thank you 😢

  • @terryallard6419
    @terryallard6419 Рік тому +1

    I think David is sincere and has much to offer."D" I am sorry for your loss and hope you find some places of equanimity to rest.

  • @brettmurphy7588
    @brettmurphy7588 10 місяців тому +3

    If it's hysterical, then it's historical. That gave me deep pause, and i hope i can reframe my loved ones' seemingly irrational outbursts in difficult moments. Perhaps we can uncover, heal, and grow

  • @daiagomes6778
    @daiagomes6778 Місяць тому

    I LOVE YOUR WORK, DAVID!! CONGRATULATION!!!

  • @Vera.ChuckandDave
    @Vera.ChuckandDave 3 місяці тому

    You have been instrumental on my path of healing. You have a beautiful soul. Thank you for being authentic about your life and loss.

  • @littlekentucky2294
    @littlekentucky2294 4 місяці тому

    This guy is a Blessing to listen to, I have been struggling with grief and he’s the Only person that is making sense to me. Seriously Thank you so much. 🙏 ❤

  • @Mark_B585
    @Mark_B585 7 місяців тому +2

    This has really helped me reshape losing my mom and my son quitting talking to me. I'm forgiving myself and moving on. Thank you.

  • @cosmosprincess20
    @cosmosprincess20 Рік тому +6

    This was refreshing

  • @lindazama5498
    @lindazama5498 5 місяців тому +1

    Thank you, David. What a well-timed sharing for me.

  • @travelfreedom555
    @travelfreedom555 5 місяців тому

    Thanks David clearing my thoughts this helping to understand the my grief your thoughts and words helps me to overcome and be better person in this valuable life once again thank you and I recommend everyone to watch this when they feel something lost or something went unplanned changes happened in their life

  • @jennygrim2057
    @jennygrim2057 10 місяців тому +2

    Very helpful thank you!

  • @jimmyblackbelt
    @jimmyblackbelt 3 місяці тому

    Beautifully done with a nice dose of CBT.

  • @Pitou770
    @Pitou770 10 місяців тому +1

    This is soo helpful. Thank you so much.

  • @rosebuckner3831
    @rosebuckner3831 6 місяців тому

    Thank you David. You're a dear man.

  • @janjackson-author
    @janjackson-author 2 місяці тому

    Oh man. LOL!!! About the cleaning crew story. That's too much. LOVE

  • @VenusIvoryClarke
    @VenusIvoryClarke 8 місяців тому +1

    I love this video and appreciate you beyond measure 💜💜💜🔥

  • @Haxzyr
    @Haxzyr 3 місяці тому

    Exactly, David.

  • @angelicalopez5801
    @angelicalopez5801 8 місяців тому +2

    I have been to a relationship for 13 years.. my whole world was confided in him.we are married and one day i just woke up and he is a different person and sees this woman.. i feel so betrayed i dont know this is going to happen.. i am thankful for this David.i would love to ask your opinion for me to continuously move on.

  • @debracurboy5844
    @debracurboy5844 7 місяців тому +2

    I can't get through losing my Mark. Heart is broken 😢

  • @TheYazmanian
    @TheYazmanian 7 місяців тому

    This man has helped me so much

  • @jennebeattie3168
    @jennebeattie3168 8 місяців тому

    THANK YOU DAVID ❤

  • @montanabirdmommy
    @montanabirdmommy 8 місяців тому +6

    What is a person to do when there is no upside? There has been no upside. My life has stopped.

    • @Elsie144k
      @Elsie144k 5 місяців тому +1

      I can relate. It has been exceptionally hard for me to find the upside and reframe my story with a silver lining. My mind is very clever at seeing through those euphemisms that everyone is so fond of. So I dig deeper. And deeper. My search has brought be down some interesting paths. Ultimately I have been able to find a level of acceptance for all that has happened. And most importantly a level of self acceptance. Keep digging. You may not find a silver lining but you may find something else. Best wishes and God Bless

    • @CatwalkPurz
      @CatwalkPurz 12 днів тому

      Someone once said to me, “of you erase all the bad things that happened in your life, you would be erasing YOU”. Many of these tough times shape us and bring us to a better place. 🤗

  • @jennebeattie3168
    @jennebeattie3168 8 місяців тому +5

    Lost my 14 year old son, Branson 😭

  • @DianeLindenberger
    @DianeLindenberger Рік тому +3

    David how do I sleep......I am tired of taking drugs like klonopin and gabapentin....help!

    • @Dogsarefurbabies24
      @Dogsarefurbabies24 9 місяців тому

      Meditate
      Is a beautiful way to relax and sleep
      Leave it on all night 🌉

  • @Jan-Maggie
    @Jan-Maggie 4 місяці тому

    My son asked why did I love this man that said he wasn't in love with me and I said I loved his physical beauty and going to mass with him and him calling me frequently. But he had a lot of bad habits so i try to keep reminding myself of that but I still go back to loving thoughts about him

  • @NoMoreTears64
    @NoMoreTears64 Рік тому +20

    You gave too many examples to get your point across that I got completely lost. My "take away" from this is :
    1. I am grieving the recent loss of my only son and simultaneously grieving the recent loss of my two pets.
    2. Now, in addition to these losses, you conjured up the fact that I STILL grieve the loss of my 10 miscarriages even though I am now in my 60's.
    3. All of my losses in life remind me "that I was never good enough for anything ".
    Great 👍 now you want me to think of something "positive " about all of that.
    IF I could do THAT, I would magically be healed and not watching UA-cam grief videos at 2 am.
    Do I sound "angry"? Of course I am angry. That's the problem. I am angry, broken hearted, and am in complete denial over my son's death ALL AT THE SAME TIME and cannot separate any of it.

    • @Elsie144k
      @Elsie144k 5 місяців тому +5

      I am sorry all that happened to you. It sounds like all those losses has caused complex trauma - many traumas over a long period of time and is more than the mind can process. I hope you find a good truama therapist or grief counselor to help you feel better. You deserve it ❤

    • @deerheart87
      @deerheart87 2 місяці тому +1

      It's ok to be sad and angry , it's ok

    • @NoMoreTears64
      @NoMoreTears64 2 місяці тому

      @@Elsie144k Thank you. Unfortunately no counselor because everything costs so much money. I did, however attend a 12 week Grief Share at a local church beginning the day after my son's funeral. It helped a lot and got me started on the journey toward acceptance and healing. Next month will be the one year anniversary already. I honestly don't remember much of the first several months. 😕

    • @Elsie144k
      @Elsie144k 2 місяці тому

      @@NoMoreTears64 that’s amazing you found a grief support group. So glad it helped somewhat. And it makes sense for the first year to be a blur. And tbh I did most of my healing on you tube due to traumas from bad therapists. So there is hope, and it’s free. I’ve used many tools and tricks. I too was holding on to a miscarriage 10 years after it happened, and the death of my father 25 years later. Among other things not properly grieved. When I got divorced all the grief that had piled up came crashing in on me. I was so angry I thought that I would be swallowed up by it and yet couldn’t express any of it and yet it was leaking out all over the place. Inner child work helped a lot. There’s some good mediations on UA-cam for that. Frequencies, Journaling, praying gardening, sitting with the emotions, try everything until you start to feel better. But don’t give up. You will find your way 🙏🏼. Many many Blessing to you and upon you 🙌🏼❤️

    • @sueleahy1457
      @sueleahy1457 2 місяці тому

      Unfortunately that's what denial will bring us, anger. 😡 Because we hv not dealt with our grief. 💔
      I went trough a similar experience 5 yrs ago.
      I lost was my love, my life partner who died a terrible death at the age of 69yr. I was 66.
      I was the Chairlady and Maintenance Manager at our Body Corp running the Complex.
      After 12 months I gave myself permission to go trough photographs of our precious times together and listened to his recoded songs. 😢 I allowed myself to experience the most excruciating heartache. 💔 At times I taught my heart was going to rip apart. 💔
      Then slowly the heartache got less intense.
      3 November it will be 5 yrs when he passed.
      As I write this note to you I still feel the pain frm then. But it no longer lasts longer than I give myself permission to.
      Its never easy but we learn to move on without our loved ones. And our beautiful memories are only a few taughts away. 🙌
      May our Holy Heavenly Father give you the courage and strength to tackle your anger, guilt and grief on your journey to healing ❤🫂❤
      🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

  • @parminderkaur4298
    @parminderkaur4298 Рік тому +2

    Hi
    its really great vedio
    Rhythm

  • @dreamweaver1832
    @dreamweaver1832 10 місяців тому +25

    I have lost my two brothers three years apart both at a young age. Few years ago my only living sibling my sister passed away. Recently my mom passed away. I’m extremely heartbroken, depressed from the loss of my mom now. I know this all takes time. They say time heals a broken heart. I don’t agree with this.

    • @caitlinkelly1791
      @caitlinkelly1791 10 місяців тому +8

      I heard that time doesn't heal all wounds. But it allows you to learn to live with them.

    • @Thatsbannanas-d8c
      @Thatsbannanas-d8c 10 місяців тому +4

      Hello, we have similar losses. I’m sorry you suffer. I’m sorry I can not take that pain away.
      I hear you. (I buried 2 sister, my dad, my husband, my therapist of five years died too). I was abandoned by my mom at seven, she left us kids with a violent heartless man
      It’s better if I just never was.

    • @ssofianos
      @ssofianos 6 місяців тому +3

      no one can take our pain away 😢 we must learn to live with all our losses.. it is an unavoidable process 😢 everyones loss hurts the most..

    • @claudiaherrendoerfer9103
      @claudiaherrendoerfer9103 4 місяці тому +2

      ​@@Thatsbannanas-d8cno, u are a precious person. And there IS meaning to your life. I encourage u to seek the Lord Jesus thru your pain. There is hope and power in His Name❤

    • @claudiaherrendoerfer9103
      @claudiaherrendoerfer9103 4 місяці тому +1

      So very sorry for all your loss. May u find hope and peace in life. U are a precious person ❤

  • @marypelliott
    @marypelliott 3 місяці тому

    I find myself alternately being "not enough" and "too much" but mostly not enough.

  • @sharoncollopen6796
    @sharoncollopen6796 2 місяці тому

    Why cant I cry ,it's just 2 weeks.
    I spend every day with my dad.
    I miss him.
    He loved me.
    Why don't a cry

  • @amberbowen1628
    @amberbowen1628 Рік тому +3

    When I meet my new psychiatrist and friends.there's 3 things were not going to talk about (mom,mamaw, papaw,) they were fantastic people is all I'll say when they ask. Then I tell people to drop the subject.

  • @Toni-fk3cz
    @Toni-fk3cz 3 місяці тому

    Be doing on my own have no one. Yes no one

  • @peopleplacesandperspective5564

    Old wounds coming up again.

  • @slimilacraft7676
    @slimilacraft7676 8 місяців тому

    This last loss of a relationship told me that I ignored my intuition/gut. Now the thoughts are so intense, they don’t even seem like my own. I got so wrapped up in my parents world that I don’t remember much of being with my own family while with them. Damn shame. I don’t want to think about anything at this point.

  • @rosep9866
    @rosep9866 Рік тому +7

    If your alone,, do I talk to myself,, is that ok? This is different ,, my grief has killed me.. no one wants to hear that.

  • @Toni-fk3cz
    @Toni-fk3cz 3 місяці тому +3

    I don’t tell my story cause no one asks or cares

  • @montanabirdmommy
    @montanabirdmommy 8 місяців тому +2

    This is all been exceedingly invalidating. 8:11

  • @nadyavisseren5482
    @nadyavisseren5482 9 місяців тому

    Wauw❤️

  • @julieb8668
    @julieb8668 7 місяців тому +1

    ? Assume u meant to say validating

  • @jeanniebair4103
    @jeanniebair4103 6 місяців тому

    Too many ads

  • @rw4754
    @rw4754 7 місяців тому +2

    Who was that drunk Irish Poet who said, "During the dark night of the soul it is always 3am."

    • @susandubois112
      @susandubois112 5 місяців тому

      Scott Fitzgerald

    • @rw4754
      @rw4754 5 місяців тому +1

      @@susandubois112 Dylan Thomas.
      Also famous for the poem, "Don't go Gentle into that Good Night"

  • @ashishmahajan3915
    @ashishmahajan3915 2 місяці тому

    Please do not give him your credit card. He will keep making unauthorized withdrawal. I have stopped the subscription but he is not confirming cancellation.

  • @davidpatteson3061
    @davidpatteson3061 Рік тому +15

    How do you trust a guy who does a participatory exercise about grief that involves losing his son (sorry, it is horrible as I lost a son too) and then somehow weaves an advertisement for his book into it. He even circles back and says what year his book was published.

    • @HeatherMoyer23
      @HeatherMoyer23 Рік тому +43

      I hear you that it can seem that way regarding his book. I haven’t watched one UA-cam video from an expert where they didn’t try to sell their books. They can’t do everything for free.
      I lost my son a year ago and David Kessler saved my life. I have trusted him with my survival through this journey and he’s always been there for me. Book-selling aside, he’s a caring, authentic, trustworthy guide through this brutal journey. Give him a chance. He’ll change your life. Sending you much love David ❤

    • @amaanivand.8455
      @amaanivand.8455 Рік тому +47

      If an author truly believes in the benefits of his book, and how it can help people, why would he not refer to it? Selling doesn’t have to be selfish

    • @yesminors6088
      @yesminors6088 Рік тому +27

      his books and utube videos definitely helped me get through the first 6 months of my grief. David Kessler books helped me out of severe depression.

    • @betha8761
      @betha8761 Рік тому +20

      Take the parts that might help and leave out the rest. ❤

    • @davidpatteson3061
      @davidpatteson3061 Рік тому

      I was referred to David Kessler's work by my therapist and my late son's mother. In reading through these comments, he obviously has been able to help many people with profound grief. I do not want to neglect that fact and deter people away from him who will find hit work helpful. In other words, I do not want to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
      There have been unique experiences that I have undergone in losing a beloved son in his 20s. One thing is that I a find the experience of grieving at this level, and finding someone that can steer me through the loss, to require a great deal of trust. During this period, if I find one to be the least bit authentic, I have an intensely negative experience. Even if most of your work is great, as a therapist and an author, myself, I struggle with anyone with dual agendas with the topic of grief, particularly if they involved self promotion. If David could stick to the great qualities of his work an not have another agenda going on, I think he would have an ever larger impact.