Your Kid's Non-Negotiable Needs
Вставка
- Опубліковано 20 вер 2024
- Your kid tells you that they absolutely NEED the newest version of Fortnite, or an iPad, or a puppy but what do they really need?...to feel safe and secure and loved. This week, Dr. Becky sits down with physician and author Gabor Maté to talk about the four non-negotiable needs of every child, as well as the relationship between resilience and empathy.
Join Good Inside Membership: bit.ly/43fEJHl
Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: / drbeckyatgoodinside
Sign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: www.goodinside...
Order Dr. Becky's book, Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, at goodinside.com/book or wherever you order your books.
Today’s episode is brought to you by Littlespoon:
Little Spoon gives parents the freedom to choose how they spend their time, without sacrificing quality food. It’s easy: just pop your kid’s Little Spoon in the fridge or freezer, and use the meals when you’re ready. Little Spoon will take care of fresh, nutritionally balanced recipes - from organic stages 1-6 purees, to transition-to-table food meals, + big kid Plates your little will love. Think: hidden-veggie mac + cheese, chicken nuggets, and even adventurous eats like potstickers and gnocchi. Get 50% OFF your first order at littlespoon.com when you use the code GOODINSIDE at checkout.
[ 4 non-negotiable needs ]
1. having a secure attachment with parent
2. rest - doing nothing to make the relationship work (unconditional love)
3. be able to experience all emotions
4. free spontaneous play out in nature
If i see Dr. Gabor Mate’s name on a title i quickly click on it and listen to him because i know an imperfect parent like me will learn a lot from him. Thank God for people like him. For his wisdom and the courage to share it🙏🏻☝🏻
The conversation about resilience is eye-opening.
The meaning of “rest” is huge. 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
The discussion on sleep training and empathy are warming my heart.
At about 11:15 Gabor Maté lists the 4 needs as attachment, relationship, rest (times when the relationship does not depend on them), and play.
The third is the need to experience all the emotions (around 9:03). At 11:15 he missed it out in his recap. What he said was the attachment relationship as one thing then rest and then he went to number 4
Thank You both so much I cried and smiled cried again and then ☺
So much Love 😍
My hand is on my heart and even though I struggle on the outside I remain good on the inside
Have prepared a special breakfast 🥣 for my 8 year old boy and my 65 year old mom
I really really really needed to hear this talk
Thanks Again and so many blessings to both of you your families and all the others and theirs listening 👂 into this talk .
You are loved
From #SouthAfrica
Two of the very best minds of our time❤❤❤
❤ parenting is a non-stop learning🫶 amazing content 🤩I had goosebumps 🙏🏽 I am so happy I am doing the right thing to my son , knowledge confirms our instincts 🫶
Great dialogue and meeting of minds! I hope this connection continues.
Kids “act out” when they don’t have their needs met.
Basic needs 8:00
1)Secure attachment -emotional 2) rest -knowing they don’t need to constantly do something in order to make the relationship work “I love you if you’re compliment” 3)the ability to experience all emotions 4) free spontaneous play in nature
Love Dr Mate and Dr Becky’s works and messages a lot. Thank you. ❤
This is great. I would love to hear more from the 2 of you together!
What a great collab, thank you so much!
Very useful and helpful. Thanks so much!
Loved it - thank you very much! You should have strength to continue your important task.
Thank you! It was an amazing talk!
Incredible 🤩
Brilliant!!!
There’s so much more about the sleep training method I wonder if Gabor knows how it is even done. You don’t just leave the room and they’re on their own. I hope that you are both versed in the training. These babies wake up happy and well rested. I respect both of you.
Look into the work of Greer Kirshenbaum, a mother and neuroscientist. She wrote an excellent book called The Nurture Revolution. It’s a must!
100% agree with this comment. The vast majority of the research shows that sleep training does not harm the child. It should only take a few days and if the child is still crying a lot, the parent is not doing the training correctly. Independent sleep needs to be taught to some kids and most parents don’t enjoy being their child’s sleep crutch.
My ex has ODD and he is a MASSIVE pain in the ass!!!!
Saying mother has to go back just because of economic concerns is so wrong. Women are more than being a mom and it is absolutely draining to stay with a baby at home regardless how much you love them. It helps the mother a lot to have a break during the work day. Regarding sleep training, my child never sleeps when I am by her side. She wants me by her side but just wants to play all night and never sleeps when i go to her. So, not going to her helps both of us sleep. I hate it so much and it is the hardest thing I ever did in my life, but she needs to sleep to grow and develop. So, going to your child at night whenever they want is not the automatic right thing to do for every child.
Guilt free education. Thank you!
I love your work but I hate it when you throw out the F-bomb
I loved it ! Wasn’t expecting it and honestly made me like her a little more for it.
"I love your work but I hate it when you throw out the F-bomb"/ Thank you, I agree.
😂 "F-bomb"
Hahaha
❤
❤❤❤
A child needs a Mother and a Father. Why do we know that? We know that for a number of reasons but specifically because evolution created it that way. Here's the problem. Theology is mixed into many of these family studies muddled by assumptions and out date tropes. Not enough support is established for Father's because inevitably there are winners and losers in Family Court. There are frequent references to theological characters making demands on a Mother to give up their child to prove maternity. Many officials called that wisdom. Today we use DNA science. Today you force people together. If they want out there is no parenting schedule just demands for resources. I would argue that "in the best interest of the child" is not the standard. It perhaps never was as attorneys judges and ad litem make names for themselves not based in science but based on theology while our children lose 100% of the time.
Algorithm
Oppositional defiant disorder is a purely western concept 😂 😅
Swearing in the first min, that is sad and unprofessional, and does not align with my morals. I turned it off right away because of that.