THE EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2015
- IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR WHEN PARENTS AND CHILDREN ARE NEEDING TO MAKE THE ADJUSTMENTS TO A CHANGE IN THE FAMILY DYNAMICS AS A CHILD GOES OFF TO COLLEGE AND AWAY FROM HOME, OFTEN FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.
SEPTEMBER MARKS THE TIME OF YEAR THAT PARENTS NEED TO LEARN TO LET GO AND CHILDREN ARE MOVING OUT AND TOWARDS MORE INDEPENDENCE.
WHO NEEDS MORE HELP? THE PARENT OR THE CHILD? PERHAPS THE TRUTH LIES SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE AS EACH NEEDS TO MAKE CERTAIN ADJUSTMENTS TO ACCOMMODATE THE CHANGING NEEDS OF THE FAMILY MEMBERS.
I CAN REMEMBER IT AS IF IT WAS YESTERDAY, THE WRENCHING AWAY, THE SENSE OF LOSS AND YET, ALSO THE SENSE OF EXCITEMENT AND ANTICIPATION FOR THE BEGINNING OF A NEW PHASE OF LIFE FOR OUR DAUGHTER.
THE RANGE OF FEELINGS CAN REACH FROM ONE END OF THE SPECTRUM TO THE OTHER, AND IT CAN BOUNCE ANYWHERE IN BETWEEN. SOME PARENTS ARE EXTREMELY DEPRESSED AND FEEL A LOSS OF IDENTITY AND PURPOSE, WHILE OTHERS SENSE A NEW FOUND FREEDOM AND INDEPENDENCE OF THEIR OWN AND AN EXCITEMENT ABOUT BEGINNING TO HAVE MORE TIME AND ENERGY TO FOCUS ON THEMSELVES AND THEIR INTERESTS.
NOW THAT THE NEW SCHOOL YEAR IS UPON US MANY FAMILIES ARE PLANNING FOR THEIR CHILDREN TO GO AWAY TO COLLEGE WITH MIXED EMOTIONS AS MANY PARENTS WILL BE DEALING WITH THE ‘EMPTY NEST SYNDROME”.
HOW CAN PARENTS PREPARE AND WHAT ARE SOME TIPS FOR HELPING MAKE THIS TRANSITION EASIER? I AM HERE TODAY WITH MY GUEST DR. NANCY LEFFERT TO SHARE SOME TIPS ON HOW TO PREPARE AND HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR CHILDREN LEAVE HOME. - Розваги
You've completely overlooked single moms who have raised a child by themselves - let alone those whose lives have been completely wrapped up in only that child, and suddenly find themselves completely alone and feeling purposeless.
I am going through it now. I was a stay at home mom for 20 years..I know nothing else. I feel very alone. Its been real hard.
I can absolutely relate to your feelings. The hardest life transition iive ever experienced.
Cookie McWoo
That is me. What have you found?
Thank you for bringing this to the table. My story too...
I'm there now. It's so tough.
My 19 year old son has just left the UK for EFSC in Melbourne. He has truly been my best friend for years now and whilst I celebrate his achievement to get a college place in Florida, I literally feel lost without him in my life.
We have spent so much time together over the years I find myself yearning for him.
I never thought it would hit me like this and certainly would not want to tell him how much I'm missing him, but I hope this utter feeling of lose will eventually pass....I'm sobbing randomly during the day while driving and doing things around the house as I think of all the things we've done together over the years.
This is the exact thing for me. My only child left yesterday, and I miss him terribly. Crying spells and some depression.
Thank you for this. My only son just left last week to college. I hope and pray this gets better. I miss him so much already.
Nikki M. Im leaving tomorrow after helping my daughter to settle in Scotland! I’m in pain and I already miss her
@@GeorgiaMyname I will be in prayer for you! You know prayer changes things. I can tell you the anxiety has gotten alot better. I'm fine because I know he's fine and that is what we want ultimately! You will be just fine!!
Has it gotten easier? I just dropped one daughter off and I'll be taking the second daughter in a couple of weeks. I'm feeling lost and lonely.
Thank you ladies , I've been crying on and off for days as my only son leaves for college in 2 weeks and I thought I was going mad. You have made me realise this is normal and I will adjust. I'm so proud of him for getting into university , but I will miss him so much- he's my best friend .
I'm going through the same right now as my only child has left for college... I'm very proud of him but I miss him so much...
I understand! Mine leaves tomorrow. My ex is taking him. I cant even go to the drop off. And I cant calm down. I cant stop crying. Another one left last week. How are you now?
@@suzanhunt9543 I hope you're okay. I usually am not one to comment but seeing yours I felt the need to send hugs your way. Seeing how recent it is. I hope you're trying to cope and have some support.
Wonderful show - and so relatable as I am going thru it right now. Sometimes it just helps knowing others have gone through the same thing and survived.
Thanks for addressing this, it has been difficult for me watching my last one leave and join the Military, I was a single Mom and I always made sure he felt loved which was very easy for me. Glad you shared your experiences that showed me that Im not alone in feeling that deep feeling of empty sadness not to mention finding yourself sobbing. Thanks so much for sharing.
Tracie O.
It really is a HUGE adjustment. I have six kids and my fifth is leaving tomorrow. I'm struggling! 😭
People say our nest isnt empty but it feels like it 😭
i have been trawling the internet for support as my only son leaves for uni in 2 wks and i’m already feeling bereft x this has been the best thing i hav found as it acknowledges and normalises how painful this time can be and doesnt just suggest that this is your time now to find some new hobbies etc yes thats good advice but nothing, nothing makes up for being with my son and i dont apologise for making him the centre of my world! i hav a full life already but he is the biggest and best part. i knew it would be hard but i had no idea it would feel so much like grief and he hasnt left yet! thank you so much for this talk so full of understanding and compassion x my heart goes out to all of you going through this-i wish we could all meet up for a mass sob-fest lol!! x
Same here, and every stage after brings back the feelings. I just want to turn back time, so, so much x
I had 3 kids and when my oldest was 17 and I turned 40 I was pregnant. So I have 4 and my 2 kids have left and my oldest is leaving this month. Now I feeling empty nest BUT i still have a 10yr old. But my original 3 will all be gone. Why am I struggling so much when I still a 10yr old that will be at home? I've always been a stay at home mom and my kids were my world.
I found this to be most helpful. I know that I am not crazy and these emotions that I am feeling are real and they are normal. Thank you so much.
Very nice show. But it was over looked for ones that are single moms and for parents that their child leaves non-education reasons.
I know that was awhile ago. But thank you! Single mom here!
I'm about to go thru this the day after Christmas, my daughter is leaving to move in with her fiance in another state up north ( Michigan). I thought I was ok . But I find myself crying, and feeling very emotional. Maybe if they were going to live in the same town, it wouldn't hurt so much. I have 2 more children at home This is happening at the same year that I have started menopause. Maybe that has alot to do with my emotional part. I know I can't stop this, not should I try , but my grief is overwhelming.
Thanks so much. I needed that.
This is horrible! I’m going thru it, didn’t expect it at all. And here Iam in a puddle of tears.
Thank you for talking about this and giving me some Light at the end of my tunnel. My oldest one is still living at home but I probably see him maybe 5 hours maybe 4 hours in the whole week and he doesn't call that often or text in if he does it's because I've asked him to to just check in. My youngest son is 16 now and he has a job plus school and then in the summer he'll Work more of a full time basis and then hes out running around with his friends. I stayed home for many years worked part time and when around the kids Schedule. Both my husband and I are trying to find ourself as individuals and as a couple again.
Empty nesting is a transitional for both parent and child. For me, it was a time to celebrate and welcome my own interest, my own time and finally start saving money for my future. As much as I love my son, I welcomed the new chapter and freedom to explore the world. I made decisions based on his needs for 21 years. Now it’s time for me.
As a Latin mother, not revolving my life around my son was a rare thing. However, I raised him to be independent, self reliant, honest, kind, hard worker and reliable. My hope is that we now become friends as opposed to chained to his needs. This does not mean I didn’t cry or that I don’t miss him. I miss him everyday. However, my feelings are secondary to his development, independence and his preparation for his own family should he choose that path.
This is how I feel I feel empty my name is kara I feel empty on the inside
My oldest daughter moved out about 1.5 years ago I have been so devastated the last few months she moved 3 hours away our youngest daughter 18 is 5 hours away in college at a university we have our middle daughter still home but soon to be moving I feel like my life has been turned upside down I'm sad all the time I truly feel that I am in a state of dark depression I just have no Drive anymore though I do still have an 11 year old boy at home but with our three daughters all leaving home so close together I wonder how long this mourning is going to last!!! I question if I will ever feel normal. Now that they are out in this big world sad to say in admit but I don't hear from them that often I question if that will ever change yours truly lost mom and Iowa
I hope you feel better 💞
Thank you!
Nice post. Was hoping for a more directive explanation on coping skills for the feeling of loss and loneliness. But did have some good info.
I decided to make videos on UA-cam to help with the emptiness
you did?
I was thinking this too!
Children leaving causes so much distress. It's almost as though the system promoting it as the normal life cycle is full of shit. Emotional pain lets us know something is wrong. All of these accounts of despair. Feels like parenthood in this societal set up was all a trick, and a trap that you only realise was that, once youve created another tax payer. Butters you up to pine for grandchildren...more free services plugged (although, after feeling so floored by my child leaving, i am not interested in more emotional pain of the same). Ive never felt so distressed in my life, and ive encountered many awful situations. This feels unnatural to my core being.
How do you deal with this.? My husband and I left are adult children in there 20's they did not go to college all work low paying jobs. I was my moms caregiver for 9 yrs we all lived together I took care of everyone I had to put my mom in a nursing home her house is in foreclose the same house the kids are in my husband and I decided to move away from everyone with our dog who has not settled into apartment living we just recently gave her away I'm more upset about the dog than leaving the kids behind right now but I've had to many changes in a short amount of time. I feel like I'm the queen of empty nest and difinatly suffering from it
But you left your kids on purpose, so there was a reason for that?