KIDS WHO “FAIL TO LAUNCH”
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- Опубліковано 15 тра 2015
- WELCOME TO THE PROGRAM TODAY. WE’RE INTO THE MONTH OF MAY AND IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR WHEN MANY PROUD PARENTS AND STUDENTS ARE PLANNING FOR THEIR BIG GRADUATION DAY AND ALL THAT LIES AHEAD.
MANY WILL HAVE PLANS TO ENTER COLLEGE IN THE FALL, WHILE STILL OTHERS WILL BE COUNTING THE DAYS WHEN THEY WILL BE ABLE TO MOVE AWAY FROM THEIR PARENT’S HOME AND BEGIN A NEW LIFE ON THEIR OWN.
BUT TODAY WE ARE TAKING UP THE TOPIC OF YOUNG ADULTS WHO ARE FAILING TO LAUNCH THEMSELVES INTO AN INDEPENDENT AND FULFILLING LIFE AND INSTEAD, THEY ARE CHOOSING TO STAY HOME AND LIVE WITH THEIR PARENTS WELL INTO THEIR TWENTIES AND THIRTIES OR BEYOND.
THE TERM ‘FAILURE TO LAUNCH’ IS A POPULAR WAY TO DESCRIBE THE DIFFICULTIES SOME YOUNG PEOPLE FACE WHEN TRYING TO TRANSITION INTO THE NEXT PHASE OF THEIR LIFE THAT TYPICALLY INVOLVES GREATER INDEPENDENCE AND RESPONSIBILITY AWAY FROM HOME.
YOU MAY REMEMBER THE MOVIE, FAILURE TO LAUNCH, WITH MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY PORTRAYING A MAN IN HIS THIRTIES. AND IN THE MOVIE, THE PARENTS ARE DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET HIM TO MOVE OUT OF THEIR HOUSE AND BE ON HIS OWN. BUT HE’S QUITE HAPPY TO BE HAVING HIS PARENTS SUPPORT HIM AND FIX HIS MEALS AND DO HIS LAUNDRY WHILE HE CONTINUES TO PLAY WITH HIS FRIENDS AND SLEEP IN.
WHAT ABOUT THOSE KIDS WHO ARE EITHER NOT LEAVING, OR THEY ARE RETURNING HOME AFTER COLLEGE AND STILL LIVING WITH THEIR PARENTS YEARS LATER.
ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE PARENTS WHO IS FRUSTRATED AND WONDERING WHAT YOU SHOULD DO WITH YOUR CHILD WHO SHOWS LITTLE INTEREST IN MOVING OUT OF YOUR HOME AND BECOMING AN INDEPENDENT, SELF-SUFFICIENT ADULT?
FAMILIES ARE MORE CONFUSED THAN EVER TO UNDERSTAND THIS GROWING TREND AMONGST THE ‘MILLENNIAL GENERATION’ OF YOUNG ADULTS BORN BETWEEN 1980 - 2000.
BUT IT IS A REAL-LIFE ISSUE FOR MANY YOUNG PEOPLE TODAY, WHO EITHER LACK THE DESIRE OR, THE NECESSARY SKILLS TO LEAVE HOME AND HAVE A SUCCESSFUL AND PRODUCTIVE LIFE.
JOINING ME TODAY IS DR. ROBERT FISCHER, DIRECTOR AT OPTIMUM PERFORMANCE INSTITUTE TO HELP US UNDERSTAND THE ISSUE OF “FAILURE TO LAUNCH” AND WHY SO MANY ADULT KIDS ARE STILL LIVING WITH THEIR PARENTS TODAY AND WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE A PARENT OF A CHILD WHO HAS FAILED TO LAUNCH. - Розваги
When there is no insentive "to launch" it should be called a refusal and not a failure to launch.
One of the worst Narcissistic traits of character is preventing all independence by bullying.
powerful comment
Issues... More like a lack of training, help, preparation etc during the sons growth.
I know how this feels as that has played a huge impact in my life
All the more reason for job programs and labor reform
agreed. It seems to only become apparent when the child reaches adulthood. Now its a problem?!?! why weren't these rules established earlier in the child's life ? and not in a threatening way - like do this or else.
Do you think that because there are many broken homes, both parents working, or one parent homes, and since we have lost our moral ways in our country, people aren't in church as much getting help and support, people are on line more than out talking to their neighbor, it's not just one thing, it's many...our country was spiraling down, but if we will get ourselves back to some basic roots, spending more time together and caring and loving one another, get off social media and tv, live in the real world with each other. We are really needing to not be influenced by social media, the Hollywood stars, the politics, it's not the real world. We need to help our kids learn the life skills they need, from cooking, cleaning, driving, then character kinds of skills, like honesty, being on time, working hard, doing their best, listening skills(we all need this one), how to handle problems(problem solving), that it's ok to make mistakes, learning the lessons and learning from them), how to handle money, saving and not getting in debt, setting goals, breaking big things down into bite size tasks to achieve what you need to. Of course you all can think of many, many other things... We really need to practice our communication skills and listening again is a dying art! Lol!
Morality is a spook and god is dead
Dina - you list man good things but at the start you talk about both parents working. Growing up in the '60's my Mom was a housewife and didn't work. That made all the difference in me having happy childhood. My father made a decent salary but not well above average, and it was enough... I know society changed and women started working. there are many upsides but raising a happy child? not sure that's one of them.
its the parents job to teach the kids how to be independent! parents fail to produce the launch.
Yes but the electronics that the kids are using from the second year of life the interactivity of them the addictiveness of them have completely fried their brains. I have a cousin who is going to be 20 soon and has zero human capital accumulated no social skills long hair, slacker appearance, and alcoholic father, a overly protective mother, I think he’s already doomed, because I don’t see any fire within himself that can overcome his own inertia or the problems of his family
@@decimated550 I'm not going to move out anytime soon fam, CPTSD and high housing prices and lack of economic opportunity keeps me home. My only option if my folks want me out is I become homeless and nobody sees me again and nobody finds my body.
Here's what I say:
We ain't broke it’s the system that is broken
This->is a modern day plantation and you know it
Manufactured patriotism
Makes asking questions about secretive initiatives
Just as dangerous as seals on a secretive mission
Secret prisons people still in
Even paranoid transients see the villains
Sure I hear voices
Telling me inhale the weed and always peer forward
Wandering this scorched earth
Who the fuck's gonna employ a stoned veteran slob
That turns up to his midday shift at 7 o'clock
And pisses in the boss's office while he's telling him off?
So you can catch me lookin' smashed with a spliff and a beer
Feedin' a fat heffer chicken while I'm lickin' her ear
It's 5 AM and my mission is clear, I need to bust a fuckin' nut
And there ain't no other women in here
fuck the army gang gang gang gang gan
read desert and become an anarcho nihilist gang gang gang
skeet skeet skeet skeet.
this is the dillemma, you kick them out into a world of horror, you expect that you presume they know because you left home and you did this or that, then when they go and they try , life gets so unbeareably complicated in todays world , they get awfully disenheartened ,and you will expect them to look after you in your old age,
What are steps a parent can take in order to launch their adult child?
@@denisebernard3062 It is cruel to say okay you are 18 now move out. wtf? With what?
@@joeldecoster8816
It's not "cruel." Launching a young adult into independence is a _loving_ thing to do.
It is far more cruel to allow an adult daughter or son to remain dependent on you long into middle age, then when you die or become incapacited, they are forty or fifty and cannot take care of themselves.
I’m a millennial. I moved out permanently at 23.!I’m now 37 with daughter gen Z 19 years old. She highly dependent. Doesn’t even wake up on her own
I know a 40+ year old who hasn't launched yet. So sad.
Michelley Bohmke can I be the first person to tell you to Fuck off?
@@Filthy_Larry do you still live at home?
would the following be considered failure to launch : The adult child never moves out, but its the parents who move out, retire to Florida and sell the house to this adult child?
They’re not “choosing to”, they’re forced to. When homes cost $540,000 in your area and you make $9 dollars an hour it’s that or homelessness.
We can’t all be Charlatans like you, Dr.
How about renting??? You've nevee heard of apartments?
Some try very hard, but they are disabled or have chronic health problems that make it hard to succeed. Hard to get a job with serious disability. No job means cannot move out and have their own life.
The Failure of the parents does not indicate failure of their off-spring. Often, the opposite is true
Question: Are you one of those parents that are frustrated?
Answer: Heckz yeah that’s why we watching this video lolol🙃😐
It's a CULTURE THING ALSO
In many cultures family members like sisters, brothers, aunt etc live together and it's ok.
In the American culture it's different, but now it's changing a little.
ciel222 You are correct, American culture is a failure to launch! We are a country of parents who are trying to have the empty nest and control of the adult children! Parents fail throw the kids out at eighteen And morn the child who throws you into a nursing home when the child turns 36 years of age! The daughter refuses to marry and forms a village of friends! Her parents whine about not being rewarded for teaching the child that they are a burden! True Child psychologists confront those TV quacks! The descendants of slaves and latchkey children remain close to home know the nuclear tribe is normal! This is why African American adults seek out African American or Native American therapists!
ciel222 they also contribute in other cultures, but in America they just live for themselves and expect parents to pay for it.
I'm not living at home but I've sabotaged progress in my life in a major way. Defeated.
Hope you're doing better. What happened?
@@fmar.8311 ййййййййййфффффффф¹фффффффффффффффйф
Life is a series of wins and losses. Sometimes you rarely can lose,and other times, everything you touch seems to unravel into failure. It's ok. The important thing is getting up. Always get up.
Have to help them help themselves and help them have common sense and to grab life by the horns and go for it!
Too cerebral: Kids need to learn how to work from a very early age -- clean up their room, clean up the kitchen before bed, iron their own clothes, vacuum the house, mow the lawn, learn to maintain a garden (where possible), learn how to paint their bedroom, learn basic handyman skills, wash the family car, do their own laundry, care for pet animals, have a paper route, shovel now, rake leaves, dig cars out of snow storms, et cetera, et cetera. They don't do these things anymore for the most part. It’s video games, TV, soccer, boy scouts, girl scouts, and so on. Those maybe fun and worthy activities for some, but knowing how to work is far more important. Kids first need to launch at home before they can launch away from home.
The corona virus pandemic is making it difficult for my daughter to move. I am feeling that she is becoming codependent on me which is terrible. She is becoming a mother herself and I am expecting her to have her children to have their own home with her. I am disappointed that she is not being responsible for herself.
The U.S IS a guardian state...
Take your time.
Its like a roller coaster ride: going up and down and around, from one job or apartment to another, until complete loss of everything... Most parents don't want their children to suffer in the gov't system: homelessness: living in a shelter, etc. Economics plays a big role. Parents are a safety net, then medical probs. Besides other siblings competing and comparing themselves to each others...
yes, its all bullshit, dont have kids, they are suffering in todays world, they have dreams and they have ideals, then they are crushed by the stark reality of a system that is designed to make you fail.So much injustice dog eat dog, shit happens that you cant control, and noone wants to deal with your shit, the education system needs to help children understand
and all these conflicting advice and opinions are making people worse
and even if they are not your kids, you often have to deal with their problems mentioned within.
@@joeldecoster8816 - Two Is Enough by Laura Scott.
Finally I've Launch and out of the Homeless Shelter into my own Studio Apartment with Supportive Housing. Besides replacing everything I had loss, like furniture, clothes, etc. Working-At- Home as a Creative Writer and Cooking Poet: by taking care of my health, etc.
Its easy. Put your kids in a dorm room at a college. That way they have direction to go in life. They can't afford it themselves. Its not their fault. Its the parents fault for not understanding the cost of starting out. They can't do everything themselves. A normal job like minimum wage does not cover living expenses. That means they can't afford a car and they most definite can't afford a house. Plus they need that car to go to work. You can't go to work without a car. That means they have cheap ass parents, who treat there kids like adults. Kids don't know what to do after high school. They need guidance. Things don't come automatic. Your kids need your help. So help your kids.
Jacque's Movies STFU YOU A LIER I WAS RAISED IN FOSTER CARE LEFT FOSTER CARE AT 16 WITH A CHILD AND I BEEN ON MY OWN EVERY SENSE HAD NO PROBLEM FINDING A GOOD HIGH PAYING JOB WITH NO DEPLOMA AND HAD NO PROBLEMS FINDING A PLACE TO STAY ,HAD 5 KIDS I RAISED ALONE WITH NO GOVERMENT HELP AT ALL AND THEM KIDS ARE CRYING LIKE YOU TRYING TO LIVE OFF ME THE REST OF THEY ENTIRE LIVES IM 44 AND MY SAVINGS IS MY SAVINGS ,GET OFF YOU LAZY ASSES AND FIND YOUR OWN WAY THRU LIFE JUST LIKE I DID....IJS
Lala Johnson That's an amazing feat, and I'm very delighted that you've achieved that. However, your experience is just that - YOUR experience.
LOL both of my parents are disabled and don't even own a car nor house between them, statistically only half of millennials do better than their parents too, and I'm not the better half of my classmates, never was.
Lala, me too but shut your gob. Fuck. At least you've worked before, likely because you have vagina and they felt sorry for you.
@Light York and if your parent is a loser....
You gradually teach them to earn money, take responsibility and solve problems starting at an early age.
Start with where they can baby-sit or do light yard work for side money, teach them how to save and manage that money from age eleven or twelve onward.
Go with them to open up a savings and a checking account at the bank, how to check their balance daily and how to _not_ empty their bank accounts.
Allow them to take a Saturday job when they fifteen or so and teach them the importance of saving that money, not spending it on every little thing they want.
Teach them to wait for things until they have money.
Don't rush to buy them a car on their sixteenth birthday.
Teach them from their teen years how to deal with public transit so they don't feel as if they "need" a car.
And let them know that yes, it is _no_ "disgrace" to rent an apartment as their first home of their own!
Not every person "must" own a house to be happy.
Against all odds , with a little help I shone a light far. For my own sake. Better late than never. Thanks. I passed it on to my child?
They have no interest in leaving because the parents are making it too comfortable for them..
Make them miserable at home.
They will leave.
Sagans Run TRUE
In Spain, Italy, Portugal and all of Latinamerica people stay with their parents until they get married, in fact its not honorable for women to leave the house withouh being married, sometimes several generations live in the same household...
But those customs require their adults to contribute to the household respectfully and with discipline and obedience
But these adults are financially independent and contributing their share to the household.
And no, women are no longer shamed for becoming independent adults.
Sad.
I'm not going to move out anytime soon fam, CPTSD and high housing prices and lack of economic opportunity keeps me home. My only option if my folks want me out is I become homeless and nobody sees me again and nobody finds my body.
Here's what I say:
We ain't broke it’s the system that is broken
This->is a modern day plantation and you know it
Manufactured patriotism
Makes asking questions about secretive initiatives
Just as dangerous as seals on a secretive mission
Secret prisons people still in
Even paranoid transients see the villains
Sure I hear voices
Telling me inhale the weed and always peer forward
Wandering this scorched earth
Who the fuck's gonna employ a stoned veteran slob
That turns up to his midday shift at 7 o'clock
And pisses in the boss's office while he's telling him off?
So you can catch me lookin' smashed with a spliff and a beer
Feedin' a fat heffer chicken while I'm lickin' her ear
It's 5 AM and my mission is clear, I need to bust a fuckin' nut
And there ain't no other women in here
fuck the army gang gang gang gang gan
read desert and become an anarcho nihilist gang gang gang
skeet skeet skeet skeet.
I am going to live with my parents and not work and you can’t stop me . Yes it’s my choice, let’s face it, the alternative is homelessness
Why launch at all? Just vote socialist. Oh wait. Happiness.