Gay Man Staying Married To Woman “Wasn’t Fair To Me And It Wasn’t Fair To Her.”
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- Опубліковано 15 лип 2024
- Ken Henderson was taught from a young age that you're just supposed to "do what you're supposed to do." So he got married to a woman, even though he was gay.
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I teared up when he said she died alone. She sounded like a sweet woman I wish she had her happy ending.
She really loved him. He said she had no other relation after him. One could say she died of a broken heart. I do believe there is such a thing as "a broken heart" and it is really a possible cause of death.
@@sandybell1743 her husband is so selfish
Facts smh
@@leusmaximusx He's gay. He was bullied and brainwashed into getting married to a woman.
Piece of shit person. Like be as gay as you want without ruining other people's lives and love. Fucking evil that she died alone when she thought she had a husband. Life is sometimes so cruel.
As a gay male I have to say this is unacceptable. How can you do that to a woman for many years? Selfish.
Yeah
I agree, as a bi male that prefers men this is really horrible, i grow up with both my parents where the dominant parent is all kinds of homophobic. I came to the conclusion that I won't ever marry or get into a relationship for the sake of my dad, i don't wanna be cut off from the family so this is pretty much my only option.
Do you date women as well?
@@jaykaye7025 no
@@SoulStorms you mean you have to choose between a CELIBATE life and living the way your family expects you to just so they will accept you for who and what you are?
Well I guess when it comes down to it, you have to choose between making yourself happy or making your family happy and not ashamed of you!
Just like in THE MATRIX the orical to NEO
"In 1 hand you will have Morphius's life, and in the other your own!"
"One of you is GOING to die,.......
WHICH 1?,,,,, Will be up to you."
Cheating her out of a life.
Annabell Mendez I wanna tell that man off for her sake
John Kimber Because even today there are people who don’t get it, and that can only be deliberate. They aren’t happy unless they are hurting someone.
no, cheating her out of a life would be if he killed her. she had a life, and however she lived it after him is how she chose to live it. you might as well say his life was also ruined by society, who told him he had to be straight and get married to a woman.
@@IrradioMan no one, no one told him he had to get married, there were gay people back in those days a lot of them chose not to get married which is what he should’ve done.
I’m tired of you people acting as if it takes so much courage to ruin a person life and cause them trauma. It’s so narcissistic
My husband of 40 years destroyed my life with this same issue . He took 40 years of my life . This is not a funny subject it’s tragic .
TheDebymoore I’m sorry for you and all who were hurt by this. Yes it hurts with a hurt only those experienced it can understand. I have been married 41 years. I am sorry you feel those 40 years were wasted. I have had many struggles also but chose to forgive. We have a close, living relationship now and still married. These 41yrs were not easy but I would say they wasted. Our marriage wasn’t traditional but we are happily settling into our sixties together.
40 years wow that's cruel,how does one drag it that long.So so cruel
There is a couple from my small community of 1500 people. The husband was a grandfather and told his wife and family he was gay on Christmas Day. No one ever had a clue in town. It was the talk for a long time. They were very much into the church as well. The wife is a lovely person.
mai nyaks Cruel, narcissists only and only care about them being well. 😓
@Luxitos his true self is being a pervert. It is a choice
This guy is an example of what not to do.
Yeah
His sharing will help some people to not make similar mistakes. Fortunately, more and more people accept the fact that homosexuality does exist and it's ok. In doing so more and more homosexuals will be themselves and don't feel like they have to conform to a heterosexual life.
That was then, but now is now, times have changed.
Well if religion, family and society pressure you everyday to live a certain way, it takes a lot of courage to push back on that. Things have improved a lot since then.
@Roza Huber but that’s what many people push for, to be straight. so he tried to be straight. then at some point he couldn’t do it anymore. i agree that you shouldn’t ruin other people’s lives who you’re married to by pretending to be who you’re not, but then you also shouldn’t ruin people’s lives by making them feel like they have to pretend they’re straight.
Sounds like his wife really loved him and he broke her heart beyond repair.
Say irreparable
3 months ago I found out that my husband has been sleeping with men for the last 20 years we’ve been together. It’s been a nightmare for me. I feel so used, betrayed and I’m devastated. I have two beautiful 8 year old twins and their life has been turned upside down. I don’t see myself ever trusting a man again
That so sad some men are so narcissistic I’m a gay young man and I heard a story’s of gay man marrying women just for kids or for the social image and it horrible betraying women this way is crazy
Oh my god. Devastating. The betrayal. The humiliation. The living a double life, the deception.
It too has happened to me. 15 year relationship. We nearly had a child together, nearly.
I'm so relieved I didn't.
Your poor children, he's betrayed them too.
I'm thinking of you. I'm so traumatised, I haven't left the house in a year.
I'm in UK.
The heartbreak of going to bed while your spouse goes out looking for someone else. They should have called it off when he admitted he was gay.
Well He'll Be Saved And Will Have To APOLOGIZE TO HIS WIFE AFTER HE MEETS THE LORD JESUS CHRIST >:(
These is no excuse for a gay man to marry and rip a women in half and ruin her life.
Times were different back then when it comes to homosexuality but I agree that it was not fair on his poor wife as he did not have to get married
She's a gorgeous woman.
They are both a very good looking couple.
Unfortunately, not every "Driftwood" story is a happy one. Despite this man odd laughing, what happened between him and his wife was terrible. Never cheat on someone you love, no matter your sexual orientation. Come clean with the ones you love, and show them respect by letting them go. This man did a terrible disservice to someone he vowed to care for in sickness and in health...and regardless of his orientation. Even in divorce, he should have remained close...very cruel situation for her.
I totally agree with what you have said!
According to his story he did come clean and he did let her go.
He didn't actually cheat on her. She found out, asked him, accepted him and let him live that double life. She was so deep in love with him that she didn't put any condition in front of him. She just loved him without any desire of reciprocation. But when they seperated, she couldn't fell in love with another person and got buried in her loneliness.
Wow your views and thoughts were very genuine and true good soul
Definitely unfair to his wife if you “notice” men DON’T marry a woman!
I’m Bi, I notice men but I also notice women. I love my wife though and I wouldn’t cheat on her with any man or woman. I chose her out of all the boys and all the girls.
Wow he wasted her life and doesn't bat an eye sick
"She'd go to bed and I'd go out" okay so this guy is a pos
If he went out at night he would come home with his clothes on the lawn. There are victims and the there are volunteers. Just because she never remarried is not a bad thing. When walking out the door in my last relationship my promise was I'll never make this mistake again. Single and very happy.
@@bdavis8397 He was probably going out and having sum'"Glorious gay sex!!!"...😉😉😉
Maddison K, and what must that have done to the poor, beautiful, woman's, self esteem and confidence? What rule book was he reading from that states; sex outside of the marriage, if with a male, doesn't count as adultery?! You are so right, this fairy is a two-timing, lying, self centered, POS!
I was confused about that part of the story. Did I miss something. I half expected him to say they started swinging.
Maddison K yes he is and he shows no remorse for his actions
You wasted her youthful years ,broke her heart.How do people who do this sleep at night honestly
nana kazondo you’ll never get it. The pressure to marry and be “normal” was huge; there were no support groups or online forums where people could figure these things out. There were no public role models; gays in literature or pop culture were portrayed as tragic or villainous. They were flying blind and hoping for the best, not planning to deliberately hurt someone.
It was that pressure that led people to make these decisions, which ended up hurting a lot innocent people.
@@JimmyT132 of course l will never get coz that's absolutely cruel and inhumane.Im sure back in the days there were some people who died without marrying and there was no prosecution for that.Why not opt for that,why ruin someone else's life and waste their time just because you are gay,regardless of lack of role models or not.Wrong is wrong.Its a shame it's still happening even now,just sad
nana kazondo : are you God that you judge so quickly?
@@skiersobolski l dont need to be God to know that he wasted her time.Its common sense
So, he should have stayed married to her?
I never.could or ever will understand being gay / married... Leaving your spouse at home to go out and have sex with other people.
This also applies to straight / heterosexual couples... I just dont understand it.
Wow...the benefits of an open relationship.......you know"Do what you want to do or anything goes!!!"...
Betraying, lying, deceiving.. sounds like a great guy
I've no idea how old you are, Eva, but you have to consider the immense familial and social pressures to conform at that time. In many cases, a man like this would have been around at a time when his very essence was illegal, when he would have been looked upon with disgust. It could adversely affect your work, your housing, your friendships. I was lucky, being both stubborn and very rational in my thinking, so I was able to compartmentalise my life enough to view it at a distance and see that what was unfair for me would also be unfair to a woman caught up in my difficulty. Not everybody had what it takes to view their circumstances that way, however, and many men found themselves in the same situation as this man.
@Khaila Joi You are, of course forgetting that many gay women of that era also decided to bow to societal pressure and to marry. I don't think it's sexist to say that a woman can probably hide her lack of stimulation better than a man. It's hard to perform with a limp dick. It's not enjoyable, but it is possible for a woman to fake an orgasm. Would you say that those women were equally reprehensible, or is this another time when the most vitriolic comments are directed against gay men rather than gay women?
I agree that there is a moral aspect to this, but the biggest culprit in all of this was the toxic legal and societal pressures in play at that time, that would not allow people to freely live the lives they desired. In my lifetime, men who sought medical advice could be told "Find a boyish woman", so even those trying to do right could be given bad advice. Many were also told, often by church groups, it is not your destiny to be gay : with the help of Jesus you can be "cured". Everyone caught up in the results of that was a victim.
tony bennett what about gay men who are still doing this TODAY. What’s your excuse for them?
Has society just not changed enough for gays to be happy? With out having to be so damn selfish...
tony bennett you are the king of excuses Tony.. I’ll give you that much..
which isn’t surprising..
good luck man
@@evamz9584 OK, my final comments. I'm not sure what you mean when you say it "isn't surprising", I hope that you didn't mean : because I'm a man.
What I was trying to do, as an older generation gay man, was to give historical and social contexts and their associated negatives of which we still haven't completely rid ourselves. To begin to have some understanding, you would need to put yourself in the shoes of a gay man in the near past, which you cannot do for the obvious reasons of gender and possibly also because you're too young.
It would have been very easy for me to take the moral high ground, as I had the strength to resist the temptation to marry. I did, however, meet men who had been severely damaged by society's hatred and their own internalised self hatred, to take a course of action that arose from a confused state of mind, something that they had cause later to regret. What they did, in essence was wrong, but they wouldn't be the first people, male or female to take a bad course of action when under extreme pressure.
Lastly, a thank you for conducting this exchange in a civilised manner. T
Gay people need to confront themselves and not play with other people's lives. If you are afraid to come out, please don't get marry to a girl. Just stay single.
You're right but this guy was from a very different era than today's era. You couldn't really get away with "just being single" back then either thanks to society. Just ask any older ace person. I'm not saying that what he did was right. I'm just saying that younger gays coming along and passing judgment on an older gay by their own present standards isn't totally fair. Society put MASSIVE pressure on gay people back then. Many felt that all they could do was play it straight.
@Penelope Well some gay guys can't HELP but be out. That doesn't change what I said. I AM a gay man and I lived through an era where I had to be in the closet too, and in fact I almost considered NEVER coming out of the closet. I'm certainly glad I did, but when I was very young, the idea terrified me to the core.
DarkWillUser I wish I can
Gay Men treat other Gay Men like **** unless they find them attractive. Do you really think they are gonna treat heterosexuals kindly when they feel like there being beaten with stick for being who they are? Not that it justifies this but in general gay men can be quite mean. Being nice is a skill a large percentage of the gay male population never mastered.
"I thought she would move on, meet somebody else..."
Yeah, I can't imagine why she wouldn't have been eager for another relationship. You would think that having wasted her best years living within someone else's lie would only strengthen her trust in men.
wow bitter much?
What if the next Man turned out to be a closet-F…? She was too hurt and torn up to take that kind of risk!
@@Blossom-gf3kx wow angry much. Also use derogatory language
@@user-be5qg7mr1s That’s not being bitter. It’s called trauma.
@Blossom What next? You gonna drop the N-Word?
It's interesting how his wife already sort of knew before he did.
Elliott Manning
What’s more cruel is to get divorced and refused to tell her that part of the reason is because he was possibly gay. Because otherwise the woman thinks all the years of coldness in the bedroom or other intimacy issues are because he was cheating or because something is wrong with her . As long as he doesn’t blame the woman for problems in intimacy, I think she would forgive him but he probably needs to tell her even if he’s divorced now as soon as he realizes it for himself. And I don’t think it would be a bad thing for him to tell her that he’s sorry for blaming her (if he did) for something that was actually him being ambivalent due to his own questions about his orientation. She will need to move on with her life and no need for her to take those insecurities into a new relationship.
Yeah. She knew. I bet many friends and family suspected. What a wonderful woman she was to try to put up with it.
2degucitas my brother is gay and it was funny when it actually came out to the family. We all knew all ready 😂😂
Women are intuitive about those things. They easily pick up the signs and scents before it is seen or smelled.
That is love in the family for the gay son/brother.
Took away her will to live, broke her heart to bad.
Poland syndrome bodybuilding Exactly
That's a presumption based on no factual information. If your only will to live is to be someone's door mat you've cheated yourself out of your life.
Poland syndrome bodybuilding
Poland syndrome bodybuilding part of me wants to tell that guy off
Highly possible.
Men ALWAYS get to hit the reset button. Be it with a woman or a man. Society doesn't really allow 60 year old women to "start over"
💯 most of the time
You wasted her life. Zero respect for you
So, sad. His wife died alone.
hey she had responsibility too- we don't know the full , true details ! ... she could have had her friends, HE WASNT THERE , is all we know. ..
his attitude is very nonchalant considering he is speaking about leaving his wife to see men at night and how she died alone. Pretty happy with his life now with no sign of any feelings for what he did to his wife.... very sad. Very self centered man obviously
Society is promoting having compassion for these people who betrayed and destroyed people's lifes. Just no. Stop the propaganda. Who is there for us? The pain never goes completely away and you waste your the other person's life and years.
His ex-wife was truly an ocean of unconditional love and unfortunately, she drowned to death in that ocean.
She helped him stand on his feet, understood him even when he couldn't understood himself, accepted him humbly for who he is, let him do what brought him happiness and left him forever when she realised that she is not his happiness. She was an angel !
Yes she
This is selfish as a gay guy myself I would never marry a woman because I’d be ruining her life and my life as well. Honestly if you don’t want to be in a straight or gay relationship, just stay single.
Thoughtful you are
Yes I suggest the same irrespective of gender .
If you are gay be brave and Be with a man. Be a real man!
Just when you think you're the only one, you come across a story that mirrors your life.
God bless you. I pray you find peace and love.
The difference between a Male and a Man is, a Man has the balls to tell the truth up front, while a Male hides his balls in a harness of lies.
Fuckin wild
Why is this heartbreaking story so funny to him !!!
Silver Fish because he’s clearly a sociopath
Because he has no conscience
He doesn't think it's funny. He's nervous and embarrassed
@D May be its like the fire....once start it churn everything...even the one who lights it in first place..Straight folks created the social stigma that oppresses gay folks. How do you think that it won't affect in some way or forms everyone around you even though you personally are completely innocent and victim on your own? DO NOT SAY these folks have no conscience or they are sociopath.. You people have no idea what it feels like. And you have no right to ask everyone to be brave & bold & righteous and don't do a thing (marriage) that will inc the victim count. The amount of pressure a gay person feels his entire life from the formative years, the amount of confusion, persecution poured upon one from each moment one generate a sexuality I am sure many of you would commit worse things if faced same
I feel so bad for her!
there are NO VICTIMS , i believe there is karma, experiences, awareness , evolution... closing one's eyes is a choice too. it takes IMMENSE COURAGE to be honest, starting with self !
@@markusskand9773 They is a victim here man.. She died alone
The woman is so beautiful with great smile
I feel no empathy for this man. As a person living in a country where homosexuality is outlawed and marrying to a woman is virtually compulsory, i understand the pressure. But my conscience will never forgive me for ruining a woman's life (in case i chose to marry one).
Nitco M jfc chill
Jason Mascelli Lol, i guess you have spurned someone before.
blame society
Women are far likelier to leave men for other women but you never hear people taking women to task for ruining a man's life. The attention is always on the fewer men who leave women to be with other men. Very interesting!
Nitco M If it's illegal to be gay it's kind of understandable, more so than a person who does the same thing in a country that accepts homosexuals. However I'd much rather such men move out of their anti gay country than do that.
Why go through the trouble of my Christian family's expectations to get married just to get divorced down the road so I can be with a man? I think I'd rather be embarrassed and outcast by family than hurt a woman and fabricate a fake relationship like that just to break it off...
akpokemon Same here,i agree with you.
***** Sorry, my intentions were not clear. I wasn't criticizing his actions. In fact, my whole life I was thinking of taking the same route in life as him: Marry a woman then maybe break it off later on. The cultural pressure to be straight & married is overwhelming where I am. I was just thinking aloud about what route I want to personally take..
In a society where you are pressured to follow expectations set by others it is harder to keep true to yourself. You don't live for others though, you cannot live for someone else. I think all these videos show you that in the end everyone chooses to be true to theirselves and that opens up a lot of connections to other people that would not have been possible otherwise. And remember, ask the people pressuring you to follow a path they have set for you: "didn't you make your own choices and if you did not, are you really happy in the place that you are now?"
velkoon I know, you might as well do it now especially, if your going to waste time and do it in the near/far future instead
different times people. Have empathy for this guy.
BTW, he's handsome and seems nice. I'd go for him.
Maybe a hot take, but if you’re gay you should tell your partner straight up off the bat. I’m bisexual and I tell everyone that I’m with. In any case it’s terrible to lead someone on for that long. I know it was a different time, but she seemed like a very accepting person. She deserved to know.
Adam n eve not Pamela n eve r Adam n steve. People need t straighten out their ideas of homosexuality, Rebuke the sin not the sinner.
It's unprovable rape.
I wouldn't fuck a woman, I wouldn't fuck a gay male, so if either information is withheld it is R A P E
And extortion, and emotional trauma, manipulative etc. It sucks.
@@justinelessard5395 EXTORTION, interesting way of summing it up!
Pretending that women are OKAY with gay betrayal.
We suffer PTSD behind this "negative treatment of us usage until I can figure out how to justify my narcissistic behavior."
We become afraid to TRUST ANY man again and thus, our ability to be in a relationship of TRUST is damaged beyond repair. But the gay man moves onto his gay partners convincing himself that the unwittingly betrayed woman is supportive of him and the lifestyle he dumped her for. NOT even... 😥
@R Berg Because society has a hatred of you gives you no right to mess up the life of someone else to protect YOURSELF.
Doesn't the heterosexual woman have a right to be with a heterosexual man. What gives you the right to pretend to desire a woman when you prefer men? That is the behavior of a trickster, liar and self-centered narcissist.
Gay or straight, people betray you no matter what...
What about poor Kathy...
So you lied to everyone and used people your whole life. Shame.
Yes, a totally accurate, not at all biased summary of what was described. How clear-headed of you.
He wasn't being heartless, she knew before he did. She was the one hanging out with gay friends and that is when he was hit on and then eventually owned up. He was just as scared as she was and said they remained friends. Spewing hate about something like this helps no one.
@@lumyb9064 Splendid example of homophobia, the exact same thing that cause(d) gays to have to do this in the first place. How dumb of you. If homophobia ends this would not likely happen.
And every one knows that heterosexual relationship works every time 100% though [sarcasm]
she never had another relationship? I'm sure she had lots of opportunities, being that selfless and beautiful
She was probably terrified to try and died without having been truly romantically loved. How beautiful.
Danielle, how was she selfish?
@@lyssa2730 It says selfless, not selfish
This is a very sad story to me . I am gay and never been married.I wouldn’t want to hurt any woman by the lie I would be putting her if I were to get married This is a very l story
Raul Medina,Live your Life.....don't live the Lie!♥️
he didnot lie, but he just stopped caring for her, paid too much attention to his lover, they could have a stable family if he only knew how to love a woman...its his selfishness and jealousy, yes so jealous that she might snatch his lover, is the reason why she was kicked out. That rejection by someone she loves is what killed her.
If you are a gay man that has a loving female partner, stay with her and care for her. Theres lots of hapiness in that relationship
What a horrible person.
this is so heartbreaking, so sad for her :C
She was so happy with you, as seen in those pictures. You dont truly love her. Because if you truly loved her, you could have chosen to be on her side everyday.
We choose to be on the side of people who we truly love.
Wow! Thanks for sharing. My cousin was in a similar situation. She had a son with her husband. One day she caught her husband in bed with a man. They divorced. She was never the same. My other cousin helped her raise her son because she went in to depression. It was sad. God Bless All of You! May she rest in peace!😇😇😥😥
All the people judging him in the comments need to realize he lived in a time where alot of people were homophobic. He felt pressured to marry a woman because that's what society tells men to do. His intention was never to hurt the woman. He just wanted to be like everyone else. He wanted to fit in and do what society tells him what's "right". After years of being married he realized that he couldn't love her and that he couldn't live a lie anymore to please people so he decided to be himself.
Edit: I'm not saying what he did was right. What I'm saying is that he didn't have bad intentions. I don't think people realize what having internalized homophobia and being in the closet is.
Ari Butera but still what he did was wrong he lied to her a bunch of years if you were in the wife's place and the man said he lied and that he was actually Gay how would you react oh honey it's okay let's just get a divorce and I'll be happy for you no, I'd be pissed he lied to me and did it for so long it's just like saying a man divorced a woman, cause he liked another woman you wouldn't be the least pissed off at him and he has kids to that's what's even worse he lied for a long time and that's not cool he should of just accepted who he was a long time ago and not strung people along in a series of lies its not only unfair to him, but also his whole family
Candy queen Candy Queen You don't get it. We live in a homophobic society. He grew people telling him that being gay was wrong. Now we're in a more accepting time, but almost all gay people go though a stage were they don't accept themselves and they just want to fit in. It wasn't fair for the wife, but what he did was kind of justified because that's what society tells him to do. Instead of hating on him we should use his story as an example to show people that they should accept themselves. As you can read by the title it wasn't for the woman or for him. It's not like he enjoyed hurting her. He was in pain by being married to her also.
Oh my GOD!! Seriously. It's easy for some 20 or 30 something to talk because we have soooooooo many rights today and it's a lot easier to be "brave" and come out to the world today but in the 1960s and 1970s you could be put into a mental institution or your family would disown you (still happens, I know).They didn't have LGBTQ Community Centers like they have today or Suicide Hotlines, etc. So calm down if you criticize him.
Let HE (or SHE) who is without sin cast the first stone.
Homophobia doesn't exist get out and live in the real world,little girl.
@@aributera4905 who cares?
It's all about him, what about her? He's a very selfish person.
Well, don’t settle ladies.. or men. Be up front & open about who u are. Life is short, so take that first step!
Sometimes it’s hard when you have the whole pressure of family and society at your back. Parents always pressuring you about having a girlfriend and wanting grandchildren, and society discriminating you anywhere you go. It’s tough!! I don’t think many straight people have an idea of what it feels like.
She died of a broken heart.
Shame on you!
Did the same thing and was very painful for all involved. Thanks for posting this.
Unfair on ME, unfair on her.
Me first. Says it all.
My heart is aching for this story. Thank you for sharing.
She should have divorced him and found someone straight so that her life. Wasnt ruined.
Wife is a good person
She never remarried because she loved YOU smh and ultimately wanted to stay with YOU. Ugh I'm feeling some type of way. Literally!!!! Smh
one of my first BF was gay. i even asked if he was and he lied. my head went through such a shit show. i thought there was something wrong with me. their world revolves around their identity.
Barbara Chipman just know it was him an not you honey
Generalize much?
These selfish men just ruin lives.
This man is a criminal in every sense! These situations are very prominent in my country. Most of the gays in my country will get married and don't even care about the women's feelings as long as their parents are happy they are "straight" and "normal". To those gays as long as they can shut up their parents' mouth and freely tearing each other's xbuttxholesx, they are at peace even with the cost of breaking women's hearts.
A relationship is more than attraction
You all would be amazed to know how many married men are in gay bars. I never married but at age 27 the truth hit me. I ended things with a woman I was dating and moved on. I regret that I hurt her but, I think we both knew but were afraid to face it. Life still isnt easy for gays but was much worse in the 60's and 70's. I am me and not ashamed to be me. Dont judge. You have a family member that is gay. Minimumly, 1 in 10 of you is one of us
He is narcissist! Excuse me
thank you for posting this
I don’t care if you’re secretly gay or not cheating is selfish.
4:16 She was NOT his mother!!!😓
She was too beautiful for you!!!
I dated a girl years ago that I was really in love with. And then about a year or so later, I actually proposed to her, and I'm not joking when I say this, but she turned out to be not only into women, but felt she was a transgender. I had no idea what that even was, this was back in 2013. I was devastated. It's hard when you're really in love someone and then you find out all this crap. I mean how can you compete if they are into other sex? And on top of it, she didn't even feel she wanted to be a woman. So talk about a double whammy. You just never know what people are going through. I also had a lot of trust issues afterwards, and for about a year or two I did not trust most women. I always felt they could possibly be bisexual. But then I realize that I just happened to be very unlucky and I got with 1% of the population.
1% WTF LGBT 25 or 30%
I cannot believe these gay men did not appear gay to the women they dated.
I was with a guy who left his gf of 8 years to be with me. I felt horrible and kept telling him to talk to her about it before moving things on with me.
She'll never get those years back and it still eats at me. He was a selfish guy, so I have no pity for him. I just still think about her.
Very honest, respectful, courageous and brave of you.
I know of 2 men living double lives very sad. one has been sleeping with a man for 8 years and still thinks he is straight,whatever
Well,he could be a"straight/gay"man then etc.
@@spondivitslancaster4456 ,NO! He should live his Life.....not his Lie!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for sharing this :-)
I remained in a marriage to my wife for 51 years. I cared for her with MS for 26 years. Built two disabled homes, and I was her carer. She couldn't stand or walk for the last 15 years. But I am gay, medically proven. She passed in Jun 2022. I thanked her for accepting me as her gay husband and she said, "Of course. That was easy. Why wouldn't I?"
I am not looking for a husband. I'm too old now.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are never to old too be in love!
You are amazing
He knew he was attracted to men. I don't know any gay men who didn't know by the time they were in their early teens. I knew a number of great women in my twenties that would have been open to a relationship or even marriage and even with the pressure of conforming back in the 1980s I could never do that to them or me. Its not fair. He's a coward and she paid the ultimate price.
Jeff Morse Yes he is a
It's too bad your ex wife didn't get to experience a straight relationship with a man attracted to women. Your confusion over your sexuality deprived her of a life.
Honesty is always best and hope that guys and gals 10 or 12 can also not be forced into a straight relationship when they are gay. Everone will be mentally healthier and happier.
You are giving away a wonderful movie plot.
Yes after giving 40 yrs he moved with a guy. Think my parents left all to me and nothing to him. He lives in a city and I live on the ranch
Ann Rogers You’re great in that man’s loser
What sucks is so much has been lost. All to homophobia. Everyone should find that pride in yourself. Be happy. Don;t hide in the closet anymore . Let people enjoy who you are and allow yourself to do what makes you happy.
@J E It is homophobia. If it wasnt for homophobia, he wouldn't have married her.
Thank you for sharing your story.
This man sounds so selfish
He was a product of the times so people need to stop being so harsh. She could have remarried and moved on being goodlooking and all but she didn't. He did and found his true self and created his little piece of heaven on earth. True love is hard to find so let others have their own story.
Yeah, this is a sad story...but heterosexual couples get divorced constantly, sometimes after 40 years or more as well, and one or the other person can be left despondent and depressed as well, to where they never have another relationship. It's tremendously more common that gay men marrying straight women.
It's a very sad story. What a terrible life for her. He seemed very selfish he shouldn't marry Kathy from the very beginning! Sick man! Two faced selfish!
Sara Yee I agree
Surprise he was in the Navy. My homosexual landlord in college told me he could not wait to join the Navy, be aboard a ship in those tight quarters, so he could drop his soap in the shower and bend over and pick it up. True story. Just like this guy he was married to the homeliest woman you have ever seen all to maintain his cover.
His job out of the Navy? Hairdresser. Always a smile, always the nicest disposition, but it was always with the intent of trying to get down my pants and make excuse to come by the place I rented from him. Let me guess, he was living his AUTHENTIC LIFE? When they sit here and justify it, then what they mean to say is they are living their AUTHENTIC LIE.
Yeah this isn’t ok. Please don’t get married and waste someone’s life while you move on with your new found freedom. Not fair and more people need to be talking about what the straight spouse experiences as well! This woman could have had a loving heterosexual relationship and family and was robbed of that and it’s not right
Why is everybody in comments being so mean?
Men if you attract to another men dont marrid to women and then left her all heart broken and west her time get yourself together please. thats so horrible obviously women's are not strong enough to handle this kind of situation imagine the guy you love and spend your all your life with leave you for another men its horrific
This was the norm prior to the exception of homosexuality
Wast a good woman time 😡😡😡
True! He is a narc
Ag, the black and white fallacy.
I think all the negative comments are in part justified however, I think it's also important to consider the fact that homosexuality during that period is not at all like today. I think that guys our age thought we could work our way thru this and come out on the other side doing and being what others expected from us. Yes, it is sad that a relationship is lost and time appears wasted. I'm not saying what we did was right, we did what we thought was right. I love and miss my wife as she and I were best of friends as well as husband and wife. I truly regret not being able to give her the one thing she truly wanted, married happily ever after..
MrDrewthat
Younger people just don’t get it do they? Glad in a way they don’t p, it means this will rarely happen anymore. Sorry for you and your wife. My husband (and best friend) & I are still together after 41 years. 35 since he came out to me. It was a long hard struggle. Not a marriage I would wish on anybody. Now we are in our mid sixties. We have a loving comfortable relationship.
Time IS WASTED when a woman could’ve have a beautiful, fulfilled life with a real man who knew himself.
You stole her life with your lies.
You sir are very selfish and your behavior is not one of remorse for dishonesty and infidelity. You were not honest with this poor women and wasted years of her life. Thumbs down for that reason
You are happy she was not. Nothing to do with gender, people can be selfish if they want to
I can resonate with this story..except no kids. I ask for a divorce, after seeing three therapist about my sexual orientation. She knew I was bisexual and felt sorry for me . After the divorce , I felt the weights lifted off my shoulders and happier too… I love myself so much better..☺️
Are you transphobic or do you include trans people in your dating circle?
This is a tough topic. Sexuality is on a continuum. As is physical and emotional attraction. When this man married his wife, he loved her and they enjoyed their life together. She in turn introduced him to gay men in their community. And then he fell in love with someone. Heterosexuals divorce and remarry all the time. It really makes little difference in this case that this man fell in love with another man.
Thank you. I appreciate your story.
the moral to his story, don't be a coward and ruin other peoples life all lies come out, I feel for the wife to be able to trust again it will be near impossible.... plenty of gay men that have way more brave HONEST attitude....
This is one of the saddest things I've ever seen
I am BI Demisexual single for 7years if i marry to a woman i will rather die than leave her alone.
Poor woman. I wish she never met with this man. It would be nice for both of them and wouldn’t be the waste of years.
He seems very nonchalant...
If society was more open to acceptance instead of shaming, this would not be happening. Parents urging their children to marry. Society expecting people to marry and have children. Just love and accept people for who they are!