“It Was Me Living Two Lives... And It Was Me Living Two Lies.”
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- Опубліковано 17 лип 2017
- During their respective surgical residencies, Evan Goldstein and his wife had to live in separate cities. While alone, Evan began to examine his own happiness and soon made a decision that would change the course of his life.
Dr. Evan Goldstein is the founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical - a first of its kind health practice specializing in gay men’s sexual health and wellness, offering an integrated, unique and unified approach to patient care. www.bespokesurgical.com/
More first-person LGBTQ stories: imfromdriftwood.com/
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In the closet or out, it's wrong to cheat. If you have an open relationship and everyone's cards are on the table, there are still no guarantees that it will all work out, but at least it's honest.
I admire you for your honesty. I am gay, medically proven during electronic shock therapy. I was married to my accepting wife for 51 years and cared for her with MS for 26 years. She wasn't able to ambulate for the last 15 years. She passed a year ago and I am now free to be the gay man I always was. I was a Baptist Pastor but I was told I was not welcome to even attend church and sadly I never was welcome. I have moved on. My adult son and my daughter are both accepting which I really appreciate.
I lived with a friend for five months and he brought furniture from home and told me not to buy anything because he had two of each from home. I only had a bad a futons to my name and the flat was in my name. I went home for December holiday. I flew back at night and called him to please collect me at the airport. He flat out refused. I called a friend from back home to please pick me up. He did kicking and screaming. I got to my apartment to an empty house and the food I left in the fridge was left in the sink and was rotting. I’ve never felt such shock and disappointed and confusion.
I can only imagine the shock and confusion the wife felt when she came back from work. His family should have advised him to at least wait for her to come home and to explain himself then leave. Sad that people can have no empathy in their actions.
Not all people/men have the guts to be honest about their sexuality to their partners.
Moreover, society at large is still somewhat homophobic.
I began to feel the pain set in, as he began to talk about leading the two lives. I went through this. The difference was the other person was a male as well !
I was just about to stop watching. Then he began talking about the inequity, of what he had done. Personally just hearing him say that, was a powerful statement, it’s had a positive impact on me !
It would’ve made the situation, a bit easier for me.
Just shy of 19 years, what I received, was I was the cause of him cheating ! Needless to say, one cannot cause another the cheat, step out or whatever ones calls it !
My thoughts is and has always been. If you begin to be unhappy or miserable, in a relationship and things cannot be resolved. You have a responsibility to communicate, the relationship no longer is suitable, and that you would like to end it. It’s being a respectful and responsible grown up. Rather than a disrespectful Coward !
So you just up and leave? Seems very selfish and self centered on his part. Wouldn't it have been better if he told her what his plans were and not just eave her to come back to an apartment devoid of the person she had been with???
I agree with u
Damn this guy is shaaaaaadyyy
So very sad because she really loved him. I was cheated on for a few years when I was married and I assure you it was painful. He should have been honest with her. Not sure if it would have been less painful but she could have had some closure.
What kind of person just packs up and walks out on someone after 5yrs of marriage....oh wait the same kind of person that could cheat on them .....gay or straight that's just being a really shitty person ....
The fact that you decided together to do things separately for two month duration tells me that intimacy on both parts was lacking. I wish I had done that as a young man. I have children as old or older than you. I have never officially come out but people know. I’ve never had a romantic relationship with a male. I’m a 77 year old retired psychologist who belonged to a different era. I was divorced in 1997 who has never had a fulfilling sexual experience. However, I am loved by my children so I’m happy.
At least he could have said goodbye to her. He acted like a coward. He was incredibly selfish.
Well...he had to do what he had to do!!!Gay life sometimes can be very,very intense!!!...
Bisexuals often are. That's what he is. Gay people do not marry the opposite sex. They don't have sex with the opposite sex.
You can't sleep/marry the opposite sex and call yourself gay. It does not work that way.
You also can't sleep/marry the opposite sex and call yourself straight if you diddle with the same sex too.
@@spondivitslancaster4456 - Are you a complete idiot? What he had to do, was be a decent human being and end the straight relationship, before cheating first off. At the very least, he should have sat down with her and told the truth. Who the fuck, waits until someone leaves the house and moves out, without saying anything? A piece of shit, that’s who.
I agree. As uplifting as it is to finally see this guy being honest and happy with himself and as emotionally and intellectually evolved as he seems to be on the whole, I too found it cowardly of him to just sneak out of her life like a scared teenager. That just didn't sit right. He even admits 'how terrible' it must've been for her to have invested 5 years of her life in him only to see it all evaporate. He also admits that he had to ask his family and friends for advice on how to handle the breakup. That too revealed a worrisome lack of character or moral backbone on his part; i.e., any reasonable/decent adult would have needed no further clarity in differentiating right from wrong. Again, there's obviously a lot more to this story that he revealed, but, on the surface, he comes off a bit less than stellar in his handling of the whole situation. I mean, what kind of cruel a**hole leaves a bottle of cologne with the note from his male lover laying around? It's as if he was just expecting her to see enough clues laying around and then just walk out of his life with a handshake, thereby relieving him of any responsibility. Selfish just about describes it.
So right. Total shit move. Pure narcissist.
I feel bad for her they should at least talked it out.
What a touching story. I too lived to double life much like yours in the mid 1970’s. I was not married to a woman, but there were women who wanted to have a romantic relationship with me, though I kept it friendly. I drove 30 miles every weekend to be with m first boyfriend and other gay friends in the big city. Back in my hometown none of my family, friends or coworkers knew of my other life. It felt terrible, and I was tired of telling lies. Coming out to my family and friends took time, and though I was generally accepted, there was some anger from women who had hoped for a relationship. I realized that living in the Midwest would get me nowhere in life, so I finished college and three days later, I flew across the country and fortunately, almost immediately found a job. Later that year, living as my true authentic self, and happier than I had ever been, I met my now husband. We’ve been together for 40 years. With all the changes in our society it’s good to know that fewer gay people have to lead a double life. Of course that will continue in places where traditional conservative heteronormative and religious thought exist. There are so many resources now for young people who know they are part of the LGBTQ+ family, and in particular the Internet where information abounds. I have great hope for their future. I’m extremely grateful that I found my path and true happiness in life.
So he just left while his wife was at work? No closure or anything?
Men hate drama and will do almost anything to avoid it.
He’s awful. Not wanting drama is no excuse for being insensitive or selfish
I kept waiting for him to say his ex wife was happy, or that she had closure, but he did something unforgivable, glad he and his family are happy but cheating and lying is despicable and causes a lot of long term hurt to people, vows are vows
Tobin please read my reply above. Ive been lying about my God given gay sexual orientation for 50 years. THAT is sin. I have not left my wife but cared for her with MS for 24 years. Some people are born gay, medically proven. It has come at an enormous cost to my health for a very long time. I strongly support gay marriage. I was a Baptist Pastor and missionary.
@@ronsmith4328 Hey Ron. Sorry to bust your bubble but homosexuality is not medically proven. Actually, biologically speaking, homosexuality is a species ending state whether human or animal.
Indeed ! And, someone that's been through it, the pain of the person you love as your life mate cheats, the pain never goes away. It gets easier to handle, but the pain NEVER leaves. Been about 20 years since the first time my wife started sleeping around. This is a painful trauma that you pay for indefinitely.
This touched my heart.......a beautiful and honest story.
Gotta say, he really talks about cheating on his wife in such a dismissive way. Very disappointing. I'm tired of hearing certain gay men justify their infidelities with "Oh, but I'm so happy now," "always be true to yourself," blah blah.
chpoof exactly
Narcissistic adult-children do this. Never considering the other partner. And no conscious, whatsoever.
Homophobic is d cause of all these, so start to challenge it.
💯 💯 💯 take some responsibility for your wife as well! She is also a victim and deserves some understanding
He was bisexual at time and he did Love his wife; it was the distance that drove them apart he didnt blame her he just accepted that he was in Love with someone else, but hadnt disclosed it to his wife until he was put into a situation where he had to face it, she did get the short end of the stick but he was in No way dismissive by owning , his happiness, she may very well be happier Now she doesnt have to deal with the idea of her partner having had and affair and theyre still together she would Never be able to trust him again it would have ended eventually either way
A couple things about this really struck me: When he talks about his wife, he defines her as being instrumental in HIS surgical training. Also, the whole time he’s talking about betrayal, he’s smiling. I’d say she’s better off without this narcissist.
So much comments about him being an ass, when he obviously doesn't want to share details BY RESPECT for the person he used to live with.
After all this I'm not sure I'd be respecting her memory. Even a little.
It happened some time ago, so he would have become emotionally detached. He probably felt awful at the time but it is now the past.
@@ianjones7488 Right? Like, I'd rather have my partner realize he or she can't be happy with me because of whatever reason, whether it's orientation related or not, and we talk about its implications on our couple, than to have someone that feels bad in the relationship but doesn't talk about it, cheats on me, feels guilty about him or herself... Like hell I'd rather have the person leave me without a word even after decades of togetherness than knowing about all this.
Never mind the fact that it sounds like she was an established authority in his profession when they got together are you. I bet lots of trophy wives get dismissed when they get out of that dehumanizing dynamic would get clocked as narcist's. The guy was pretty clear that he does not think he handled things well and not as he would like to have.
He's an idiot. He makes all of us gays look bad.
The pain his ex must have felt coming home and everything is gone????😓
Where’s the part where he made amends to her ? apologized?
Literally thinking the same thing. I mean good for him, but what about her? What a selfish world we live in.
Absolute truth in what he said. The best way to lead a life is by being what each one of us are. Being what we are is the first and foremost step to enjoy a blissful life-path, be it single or partnered lifestyle.
Thank you for being so honest and sharing your story. It is inspiring! You are making the world a better place just by telling your truth. Shine on!
It impossible for a homosexual man to be “in love” with a woman as opposed to being loving with a woman. There is a big difference.
out of all the stories i've watched on this channel, this one is just horrible; it could be on the editing but this man doesn't look like he regrets being an asshole, i know stories aren't meant to be what I expect them to but why not share the story once he's apologising for the terrible things he made, he cheated on someone nd left like a coward in order to be himself; i wonder how the woman feels, no empathy really came through when he speaks about it
selfish and deceitful.
José i agree with you so much! Only adds to the negative stereotypes people think about gay men. I pray he isn’t treating the new guy same way he did his wife. She didn’t deserve any of that
José...It was all for the glory of "Gay sex" pure and simple!!!
Hes a surgeon. Also, I've been thinking that maybe sometimes guys find out late, but they may be bi. In a married situation its tricky as hell navigating that. Imagine the years lost - unable to experiment because of one a sacred bond. damn
@@SupaSOuRDUDE sure, that would be awful but you talk to your spouse not cheat and leave without a word
Thanks for sharing your story, honestly and openly. ❤️❤️❤️
If Evan is living with his guilt "everyday" for the way he treated his wife, then he should makes amends. It's never too late to be ethical.
Right! Except he is NOT that person. He was a selfish egomaniacal coward. Nobody who actually cares for and loves someone acts this immature and self involved. Just another guy who didn't want to face himself alone like a grown up. People have no qualms about using someone till they "find themselves"...
I can understand Evan, as bisexual, marrying a woman... He may very well have had no intentions of using her. It's not a crime to "find oneself" ... but callously ghosting someone is. He may be enjoying his present life, but until he does right by his former wife, his conscience will continue to bother him.
John C - He admitted toward the end of the clip that he’s a gay man.
He probably did we dont know you will always feel a certain amount of guilt
@@hmh3576 you sound stupid.
I cringed throughout all of this story. She is so much better off without this jerk.
Gay life can be very,very intense sometimes!!!
What the hell...
being bisexual doesn't make it ok, or give you the right, to actively look for another partner and cheat on your wife 😐
@Xandré du Plessis umm no....being bisexual does not mean its OK to have two partners. unless its an open relationship. otherwise, its cheating simple as that.
ps a bisexual man happily with ONE person.
@Xandré du Plessis as i already said if its an open relationship then it would be fine. but in the case of this guy from the video it clearly wasnt and he was being unfair to the woman.
he''s not even bisexual-
Wow, thanking your for sharing such a personal story. It takes a lot of courage to do what you did.
What amazes me the most is that he drove into NYC then parked the car. I can never find a spot!
I love the music in these videos🤣🤣🤣!!!
So right. Thanks X
Thank you for sharing your story 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾❤️❤️
The moment he touched the computer to seek new supply. He should have talked to her and requested the divorce. He had his cake n ate it. ...for how long did he do the double life. I pray she didnt get STD or worse..
Okay I'm glad he's living his life free now but what about his ex wife, is she happy now,does she loath him ? She was an important part of his journey as well so it's only fair to know what became of her as a result or in spite of his actions
To be fair. I think this guy had a discussion with his wife before he left.
More people need to see this video. A lot of important points are raised.
Like what? This is possibly the worst Driftwood video. He’s a pretty terrible narcissist.
The old saying:
A person's "Character is what they do when nobody is looking"....It seems you are missing "That Chip"
My friend,
Sad to say, it appears that there is a lot of "I" "I" "I's" ..and....Me...Me....Me's in your journey.
By you're actions the only person you were concerned about was yourself and how YOU were feeling.
I'm gay,
BUT....what you did to that woman was very wrong and heartless.
Deciet at any level is wrong.
You're new partner ......best pay attention.
When someone showes you who they are....believe it.
Can you imagine talking about trying to find your way in life and the imperfect way you sometimes handled yourself and the many mistakes you made just trying to get it right in a UA-cam video to be judged by the many perfect people on UA-cam?? Life is hard sometimes, we do not always make the right choices, but we must keep trying until we, hopefully, get it right.
I appreciated his honesty. Coming out is a complicated process for most people.
@@phillanager6245 exactly
You were brave, and look where it got you. Congratulations.
God damn. I can only imagine how hard this must be from personal experience, but he completely screwed over this woman in the name of his own happiness. It's important to be who you are, but he made vows to her. Those mean something.
If you mean he should have stayed with her, that would have been doing something even worse to her. If you mean he shouldn't have sneaked off while she was at work, I agree. But he does say he should have doe it differently.
I understand how many men are in this exact type of life situation to whatever degree. I came out in my late twenties because it was the aids epidemic and I was terrified to sleep with anyone and I had never dated girls my entire life. So basically I see how selfish most late bloomers can be.
Its a reality I get it, but it disgusts me too know all those men are out there doing this all the time and often for their entire lives, its just the human condition. I and many others were spared any pain from this behavior.
Glad I did what I did and became authentic and true from the start. I built my world being out of the closet and did not let the world tell me what was expected. I remained celibate until 27 years old and I only had boyhood experiences underage until then.
I can really relate to him . I never married but most of my life has been nothing but lies and deceit. That leave one feeling empty and insignificant.
That's awesome! I am from Old bridge New Jersey to!
That was so awesome
"...that sucks" lol.. you think?
Despite my faith, I still respect the honesty and openness of this. This is an example of how I often find more honesty and openness, amongst those with whom the churches say I shouldn't associate with and that's what hurts so much. I spent time with men or situations like this pre returning to God, and I don't see why because of that I should have to hate men who have made their life choices, are open and honest about their experiences and then have to watch or listen to those who are so "holy" speaking so negatively or trying to convince me that I'm wrong for still caring about their safety or their lives. This is why I walked away and was so angry. Honestly angry with everyone.
People have to make choices in life, even if they are choices that go against another's beliefs. They don't live their lives for me, just as I don't live my life for them. As in every choice a person makes has to be what is suitable for they, themselves. This is why though I believe in God I find it incredibly hard to be around those claiming his name. It often means having to lose those I care about for those I can't stand. Thank you for sharing your experience and story. I can only imagine how difficult many of those choices must have been.
@no wankers allowed You don't have to hate anyone. Religious organizations have screwed up so many people. You can believe in God and be a good person without ever having stepped a foot inside a church!
Thank you for Shari g this story. I am glad you made a decision to move on with your life. And you moved on away from the nice women to the nice man!!☺☺ And now you and your partner have kids. You are very very nice. Congrats to your life and I hope you continue to live your life with you new family. Also, you are very handsome. Again, thank you for sharing your story of life.
I have to say that I lost a lot of respect for you. I understand that even 10 years ago gay was still not okay. But you just packed up and left your wife? That’s literally one of the shittiest things I’ve heard. But it’s okay because you moved in with your rich boyfriend? I hope you think of how she felt - when she arrived to a half-empty home - when you lay in bed at night.
Amen baby!!! 👏🏼
agree to your point of view, BUT at least he was honest(hopefully) on here and finally told the truth. It sounds like, his Ex didn't care much as it was just a call away for her too, to get a clearing conversation eye to eye done and finish respectfully. YES , this was the most unmanly way of leaving someone, but hey . . . he's (American) 😉 .... he was NEVER taught to say the truth or be straight forward.
There are decent Americans, to make a statement about 325 million people that they are all alike is somewhat disrespectful!!
He got dragged by the whole comment section.
Lol yup
Hopefully someone will drag him to his face!
I know. OMG. I understand the judgment to some degree. But we all need to keep in mind that this was an 8-minute condensed clip of a portion of his life. So it is highly doubtful that we heard the whole story. Therefore, we really don't know everything that happened between him and his now ex-wife. We do know that he said looking back now, he would have done things a little differently. And that's how life is. Everything that happens to us isn't always wrapped up nicely like a pretty package with a bow on it. Sometimes, lots of times even, the path we have to take to get where we're going is bumpy and curvy rather than smooth and straight. If he truly felt sorry for how he ended things with his ex-wife, then hopefully he tried to make amends with her. And for all we know, he has done that.
...The risk one takes on in agreeing to discuss one's private life on social media.
👍💯🤔
Was he afraid to let coworkers and family find out or know about his new life? I’m going through this situation with a man who is married to a woman and she knows all about me and we are friends since he told her. He’s deathly afraid of family and friends find out. He’s afraid of people turning their backs on him.
I must say, I don't understand all of the negative comments! He was sharing his story, one that many gay men who are on the fence could attest to, if they're being honest. Not every man who's leaning gay can be clear about it and just come out, loud and proud! So judgmental and bitter when the man admits he didn't handle it well and was confused. When have any of us ever been perfect? He states he regrets what he did and would do things differently. What do you want, for him to kill himself? And as for vows, let's not forget that the statistics state that half of all marriages today end in divorce...so much for "til death do us part!"
Hey tyvan, wasn't asking him to kill himself, drama queen, but he completely glossed over the fact that he cheated on his wife, decided he liked men better, still kept lying to her, then like a true coward, left her while she was at work for his rich boyfriend. Would've had more respect for him if he left his wife to be single and figure his shit out. Sounds like an opportunist and not a very nice person.
EXACTLY. Your points are very apt. This is the reality of many gay men, lesbian women, bisexual people. He is very honest. I admire that. I sympathise immensely with both of them - Evan and his ex-wife. The way he left her is in no way characteristic of gay men - it is exactly the way that innumerable straight people leave their spouses. Every day. The outpouring of negative comments here is ... disturbing. A number of them betray a barely concealed Christian agenda, denouncing Evan's gayness as the location of his fallibility (= "sin"), repetitiously condemning him for not adhering (= "adultery") to his straight marriage, calling on him to make amends, atone (= ... confess, repent).
To those who criticize him,
Please, watch and listen attentively the video!!!!!!
I appreciate Evan's willingness to share a difficult story. Not everyone's journey is smooth or well-handled, but each story deserves to be heard and honored.
Gay or straight ..he is just a shitty human being for what he did to his ex wife ...he had no honor for his marriage ...so he gets none for his story
Oh please.
I wish he would have said if he made amends with his ex wife for doing what he did. There's no excuse for ghosting a person like that unless you are leaving a domestic violence situation. Since they were effectively not even living together anymore, surely he could have been honest. She might have even given her blessing if she already suspected this might be happening.
This man is a warning to all the gay men who wanna hook-up with a married guy on Grindr. Imagine the pain he is putting his wife through, and you should probably stay away from someone so despicable because dating him would turn out shit anyway.
Wait wait..so let me get this straight (well not straight because your gay but you now what I mean) You got married to a woman then you started cheating on her and then you were just like "Well I'm gay so that makes it ok?" .....IM SO CONFUSED someone explain this too me because the way he made it sound like he was a victim and he was not the victim he was the one doing the cheating..AAAAA EXPLAIN PLEASE
Well, first, he's really bisexual. But, because that's looked down on, people don't always admit it.
Why Not i totally agree with you. see my comment above.
If he were really bisexual, then he could've conceivably been happy being married to his wife. But he wasn't. It looks like ultimately he decided that he's really gay.
@ Hamish Downie; hate you break it to you mate, but lots of gay guys can and do have sex with women and still be gay....I fucked virtually half the girls in my dorm floor and am still most def GAY. Took me a while (ashamed to admit I held on to the bi label for too long) but am now happily openly gay 10yrs later since I first started to 'deal' with my sexuality. Sex is sex....sexuality can be tricky, but just because you can have sex with both, doesn't mean its what you TRULY want - that takes introspection, lifting shame, and analysing your behaviour and real desire.
@ matt colins: Well said. I'm sure there are many gay men who've gone down a similar path. But here's the rub: There are quite a few gay-identified guys out there-guys who are "out and proud," so to speak, and label themselves as gay both in their personal and online lives-but they *still* seek out and have sex with women. These are the guys who are actually bisexual, but they flat-out refuse to accept the label. You'd be surprised at how defensive they get about it too: "I should be able to call myself anything I choose," "I really do prefer guys but still like hooking up with women," "It's just sex...it doesn't mean anything," etc. As beautiful and desirable as men are, it's this kind of bullshit that's always been one of the biggest turn-offs for me.
I'm happy Dr Goldstein found the courage to be true to himself. There is still some societal pressure for men to marry women when many men don't want them. I'm sure Mrs Goldstein was young and attractive enough to land another man if she wanted one. 😊🧡
I can’t stand anyone who would do that to another person. I’ve known I was gay since birth. He should have broken it off with her before he started getting on the internet looking for a date. God bless her! This is the worst story I’ve heard.
Interesting
Truly awful human being. Someone tell his ex-wife how lucky she is for not having him in her life. She deserves someone genuine and decent
If he used her like that, just know it’s only a matter of time someone uses him Ike that or he up & leave the current boyfriend for another. One day he will do it to the wrong person & they will snap!
11 years with 2 kids and he is a famous doctor now. Don't be bitter.
I thought that “lives” was “wives” and the only thought that came to mind was... *how many times did they try to kill each other?*
Being yourself isn't always easy and sometimes impossible. It's that which drives so many gays into two realities, one everyone accepts as normal and status quo, and another that exists in the shadows and feels more like fantasy than reality. It's tragic that societies exist where there is little or no support and respect for gay children and teens. This is important development years that when the gay is not being raised to be themselves, they end up in a make believe world, thinking their true self a monster needing to be hidden, or worse changed, and even worse, killed. Parents need to think twice about the messages their sending their children. It's important.
I don't know how to feel.
I'm typing this from my secret "gay" youtube account so that my friends cant find my activity. He's brave and I hope that one day I have that same courage.
my thought is, sometimes because you made a commitment, and you know the hurt it is going to cause. you let her know of the issues. and i say this because there had to be a love there that allowed you to get married. so i told my wife, but the fact that there is a love there that im not willing to give up. so i sacrifice that part of me because i said i do.
I don't know what happened bts so I'm not gonna make any assumptions that he apologized or not to his wife cause the story he tells was when he come out and it has been a long time ago.
omigawd - gay.com takes me BACK!!
If people were able to be fully free to themselves even now in a str8normative world then stories like this wouldn’t occur....it is a great shame that even now people find it difficult not to be free...good for him
That would be painful for the other person there should be proper closure.
Thank you Dr. Goldstein for sharing your story. ❤
To the naysayers with no mistakes in their past, if you haven't had the Supreme Court rule on your right to exist you have no opinion.
A “ snippet”. Lordt
I wish I could do this. I'm never married, but never found the one yet. Lol.
Gay is Okay.👌
Someday it will just be the norm...
He went about it the wrong way. From my understanding is he likes both men and women or he was bisexual. I think going into any relationship it’s good to be transparent from the beginning. Tell your partner you like both. And if you have urges to be with someone of the same sex while you are with your partner then tell them you want to open up the relationship. If there not ok with that then end the relationship and go after what you want it’s that simple! Remember to follow the golden rule and treat everyone the way you would like to be treated thank you!🙏😊
Don't get me wrong, I'm gay myself (not fully openly) but that was kinda messed up to get up and leave your lady just like that without a word, especially as she did nothing wrong. to me it seemed like you hurt an innocent person
I agree. He basically ghosted her. The least he could do was break up with her. I think he is hiding what really happened
Hmm, bit conflicted on this one. Yes he was living two lives and two lies so he should have been up front with his wife and his gay lover. Sounds like he was being very dodgy, and they way he left his wife was horrible.
Your adorable!!!
Just had to say.
Just remember kids: what goes around comes around. Break a heart.....one day your heart will be BROKEN.
I'm so happy being gay....quit sad
This is the first time that I had mixed feelings about a speaker. We all make mistakes but the way he left is just jarring. It’s not only about being gay or straight, it’s about being human
People here act like they know the whole story is because he never told us that he apologized or not. Keep in mind that he tells us the story that he thinks is just important in the context and telling about his apology to his wife is probably a whole different story to tell.
We make bad choices, we learn, we grow, hopefully we don't make the same bad choice again. It's called life. No one is free to comment on another's life in a way that assumes absolute correctness or morality. Evan, keep hope alive..........Ray
Exactly, many of us tried it back and forth. In fact I told her when we got together. I think that in the end she took the biggest risk. Why, because she was expecting our child.
Poor woman.
But, he was just living a complete lie...you cannot blame him! 😅
I went thrue almost the same like you, I understand every single word you just said.
If he didn't marry her knowing he was gay, then he was probably right to end his marriage. There were no children involved, which would have changed the dynamic. Would she want to be married to a man who wasn't attracted to her? She then has a chance to marry someone who appreciates her.
Bob Francis it's not the divorce I have a problem with. They absolutely should have separated and it is what was best for them. He just did it in a really shitty way. He straight up says that with no warning he just packed up and left with no goodbye or anything.
He did marry her knowing he was gay . I don’t believe for a second he didn’t know deep down he was gay, he was just too much of a coward to admit it to himself and anybody else and so married an unwitting woman who had no clue . Why people think these sort of men who do this and marry women trying to lead a straight life are hero’s and soooo brave ( as I’ve heard people say in other conversations ) beats me. They are not brave or ( inspirational ) they would be brave or inspirational ( as I realise this must be a hard thing to do for some ) if they came out before marrying a woman but instead they lead unsuspecting woman on this path of lies and deceit. He sits there speaking and so proud of his story , what a selfish moron
Many married straight men cheated too during marriage. It is not gay phenomena.
I can so relate. I admire you for what you did tremendously. Still married to my wife after 49 years. Nursed her with MS for 24 years. Full hoist 7 years. But I'm gay, medically proven. Its exhausting. Don't have a boyfriend, probably never will. But I hope you and your boyfriend/husband are very happy together. I really do.
"Medically proven" - what does that mean?
I saw a Dr who was psychiatrist and President of the Baptist Church and he said if I went thru electronic shock aversion therapy I would become straight. They put me in a locked booth without access to any controls. They put a wire ring that measured temperature changes on my private parts and showed me pictures of about 1000 men and 1000 women over 10 days approx. When my body temp rose when I saw the guys, they delivered high voltages of electricity thru wires that were also attached to punish me for being gay and to try to make me straight. It was horrific. But the machine never recorded anything when I saw all those pictures of nude women.
There isn't anything anyone can do to influence the outcome of those tests. The Dr at the hospital in Sydney where it was done said that it proved being gay is not a choice, that I am gay and that I was born gay. When I returned back to the Dr who sent me there, he laughed said , I quote verbatim "That would have really hurt you eh!" I saw him and his successor for 13 years. Imagine how I felt when I learned that the entire medical profession declassified homosexuality as an illness, 48 years ago, and that period covered the entire 13 years I saw those doctors. Not happy. That reparative therapy caused an enormous amount of damage that I still live with today.
I also needed two lots of partial fundoplication surgery on my esophagus for gastric reflux which was directly related to the reparative therapy. I am still on high doses of medication to help control reflux. I was a Baptist Pastor and a missionary but have been told by several churches I am not welcome to even attend church, just because I am gay.
God creates some people gay and it is absolutely fine. Just don't lie about it. I don't have a boyfriend and probably never will. But I strongly support gay marriage.
Ron Smith wow what a (awful) journey you’ve had. I am so sorry about how you’ve been treated by those you trusted. Pls don’t close the door to the possibility of finding a partner. Make sure your bed has a bedside table & lamp on BOTH sides. Build & he will come. 🌺♥️ I’m from Sydney & know it can be a great place to be out n proud. Your tale is cautionary & I hope can help someone who is struggling. Bless you Ron. Religion & spirituality in their purist forms are loving & inclusive. It’s the ignorant misguided sheep-like humans within those structures that can ruin it for others 👊🏻
So easy for us to draw an idea of who is bad or wrong. It could not be a strong relationship he was gone 2 months and then she left 2 more months and so on. Maybe it was just convenient for both we will never know so don’t be to harsh on them. He took his things not everything and left.
I am amazed at how critical people are about this man’s story. I like hearing these people’s stories and don’t believe that personal judgement is necessary or appropriate.
Man cheats on wife and ghosts her after Several years of marriage.
Tbh I think this is a case where he was a shitty person towards his wife and people are calling him out on it.
If he really felt bad he would have apologized to her a long time ago. A mature adult in his situation would have... talk to their spouse! I know shocking.
People are here to listen and take things from these stories and sometimes thoes things are gonna that the story teller is kinda a 0/10 garbo human
Gay men who justify this type of behaviour should seriously stop the excuses. He has a right to happiness of course but he owes her a serious apology and a bit of humility wouldn’t hurt him or others like him either
NO it wasn't prefect.
YES it was a bit cowardly.
This is all part of the human condition. We ALL make mistakes. I challenge all of those whom are sitting behind a keyboard typing out harsh judgement to make a video talking about some of the mistakes that YOU have made and then deal with all of the keyboard warriors negative and judgemental comments.
Not gonna happen!
It's REAL EASY to sit behind a keyboard and type out judgements about OTHER PEOPLES MISTAKES. Not so easy to put YOUR SHIT out there for total strangers to judge (which is why NONE of these keyboard warriors are going to do it)
I applaud the courage of those whom are willing to share their stories about being imperfect human beings and making mistakes.
...If they cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you.
👍💯🤔
It is for the best. For her and you. She more than likely knew.
Better than Cal Jacobs lol
You know it's funny. A guy who's married to a woman and he's supposed to get a warm reception in admitting that he's gay and was living a lie while having an affair with another man. Would it be the same reception if he was having an affair with another woman and he just up and left his wife for her? No. That's what gets me with married men who now come out after being married to a woman (breaking her heart and also vice versa when women who are married to men do the same thing) and people are supposed to congratulate them and embrace them for being in pain for not being who they truly are while they were cheating on their spouses. Cracks me up.
This dude is old.. in the 90s gays were literally left to die during AIDS epidemic. Don't you forget about how terrible it was to be gay just 10 years back.
kinda toxic the way he handled w his wife
This guy is deficient in the character department. He is almost smiling when he talks about what he did to his wife. I wonder if his current partner realizes this dudes lack of empathy and he could receive the same treatment.
Oh yes, he got an unmistable quiver in his rear end that just had to be satisfied. And OH, let me guess, he is living his AUTHENTIC SELF ? Is that the moral of the story?
@@zoeymckeown3194 What a snake.
Moral of the story is gay rights worldwide.
Has she ever been introduced to him so she can have some closure….. you weren’t very fair to her…. Five years….
Dr. Goldstein acknowledges his mistakes in the closing moments of the interview, and the poor decisions he made throughout his situation; particularly with how he left his wife. It's a burden only he has to shoulder until he finds closure. Chalk up another one for the humans, and our imperfections being on full display once again.