Why “Just Going with the Flow” Falls Short of Giving Meaning

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  • Опубліковано 24 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 100

  • @CrappyChildhoodFairy
    @CrappyChildhoodFairy  12 днів тому

    *Take my free Daily Practice course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
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    *Have a question for me to answer on UA-cam? Write me here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters

  • @snoy98307
    @snoy98307 19 днів тому +133

    Everyone watching this, I hope we all heal, find love and joy and be tender to each other and create a beautiful world.

  • @joysachs9032
    @joysachs9032 18 днів тому +38

    I identify so much with her letter, even down to her mother's and brother's actions.
    Finally, at 67, I couldn't live that "charmed yet devoid " life any longer. I sold my business. I sold my house. I sold my car. I cleared all my possessions, cherished or not and with 3 suitcases and my angel dog, left it all for a new country and a simple quiet life far away (had never been there before).
    Now I live an isolated life, aware that childhood trauma scarred me, but not wallowing in the concept. And I have found a peace and quiet contentment that I didn't know could exist.
    I am spending my Winter years here, without plentitude, giving love and kindness to people I meet and to animals and nature.
    It's not a solution for everyone, for sure. But it works for me. And I am so very grateful for everything, including all the traumas and lessons that got me to this place in my Life. ❤🙏🙏🌻
    Much love to you all. ❤❤

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 18 днів тому +3

      I went to the nature coast of Florida after exploring Costa Rica as well as Southern Ireland 🇮🇪 I still rescue cats from horrible places but don’t interact with people anymore

    • @joysachs9032
      @joysachs9032 18 днів тому

      @@caroleminke6116
      I totally get that!!

    • @Jullzmiller0224
      @Jullzmiller0224 16 днів тому +1

      I dream of a life like that. I imagine the possibilities daily.

  • @michaelak.3738
    @michaelak.3738 19 днів тому +50

    Was just feeling really empty an lost and tried to fill the void with UA-cam, than I saw the new fairy Video. Perfect timing🙏❤

  • @photographylover87
    @photographylover87 19 днів тому +36

    She is definitely not alone. I feel her pain. 😢

    • @CrappyChildhoodFairy
      @CrappyChildhoodFairy  18 днів тому +4

      You're in the right place and we're so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

  • @Simonious_Monk
    @Simonious_Monk 19 днів тому +50

    Love and compassion to everyone watching today. Thanks Anna for all that you do 🙏

  • @qalimohamoud2599
    @qalimohamoud2599 19 днів тому +30

    these videos are really hitting lately. especially liked the part about leaning into faith & spirituality as you heal. my faith has become my biggest source of strength. love! 🧡

  • @HappyCat1111
    @HappyCat1111 18 днів тому +16

    This woman is not alone! I understand that feeling. I hope you find the joy that you deserve, and I know that you can.

  • @dzioslo
    @dzioslo 19 днів тому +24

    It's such a baffling feeling to hear someone describing YOUR life, thoughts and feelings with such a precision :O But whoever wrote this letter (If I wasn't two decades younger than the author, I would certainly believe it was me, hahaha ) - thank you !!

    • @neoessencero
      @neoessencero 11 днів тому

      @romanzanoni helps people heal if you're looking to get past this.

  • @darapurdy7647
    @darapurdy7647 18 днів тому +17

    I feel exactly the same as this letter writer! I know those feelings so well and I really wish you all the best. I love that you want a great life and you deserve it. I really hope you get everything you want. Thank you for writing the letter, it makes me feel not so alone.

    • @molly9518
      @molly9518 18 днів тому +1

      Same... - so thank you both! 😊

    • @joysachs9032
      @joysachs9032 18 днів тому +1

      She is definitely Not alone. I believe that Many of us know and understand her descriptions so very well.
      😊

  • @cynthiahoag2941
    @cynthiahoag2941 18 днів тому +7

    I love the idea of "following joy." This is an alternative to what I have always done. I was developmentally delayed socially. I never bonded with my mother and then not anyone else, either. So I became hyper-logical. Letting the world know that following logic is NOT good idea, if anyone thought it might help. Logic will tell you what not to do: drive drunk, jump off a cliff, be violent, etc. But it will not provide guidance. I just kept doing things logically (getting the next degree, getting a house, reading more self-help books to feel better, etc.). I never got a vision of what I wanted. I had no connection to my feelings. Now I do the Daily Practice to heal and to listen to any good ideas or desires that might arise. I still don't know what I do want, but the DP has made me feel so much better.

  • @goldalevin869
    @goldalevin869 18 днів тому +11

    Good advice. Thank you from the family scapegoat.

  • @1T3NDYBRIGHTLIGHTS
    @1T3NDYBRIGHTLIGHTS 18 днів тому +15

    🐑🐑🐑 also a black sheep.
    I understand this may be rudimentary to most of you- but when Anna just said that our passion and our job DOESN'T have to be the same
    🤯🤯🤯 LEGITIMATELY HAVE NEVER BEEN TOLD THIS BEFORE!! I feel I've been wasting my life trying to find the "right" thing for me to be (in life).
    This hits! I get it. This is FABULOUS!
    THANKS ANNA - here you are- changing people's lives for the better...🎉🎉🎉

    • @anitacarswell3736
      @anitacarswell3736 18 днів тому +2

      When it is the same though, it is amazing! But yes, I agree, it does not have to be. Especially if you are really good at something that pays well that allows you to funnel $ toward your passion.

    • @joysachs9032
      @joysachs9032 18 днів тому

      Indeed. I only recently discovered this concept. Big AHA moment and it gave me so much relief from thinking, for decades, that I was "broken or faulty " for not having the passion or for it matching my money earning activities.
      Found peace. Finally 🙏🙏🙏

  • @anotherhealingjourneybegins
    @anotherhealingjourneybegins 19 днів тому +11

    This is just my opinion, but I think so many different ideas exist because different things work for different people. For one person, spirituality might be their answer. For others with religious trauma, maybe that path dredges up more pain than healing, and so they find something different. But, I think that's part of the beauty of existence. There is no 'right' way to do things. There's several paths to choose from. I came into your videos when I really needed them, but then I branched out to other pathways as well. Luckily, I've been able to 'take what I like and leave the rest' as they say in AA with many other materials. May we all find our peace✨️

  • @renan.csmaia
    @renan.csmaia 19 днів тому +14

    Your channel has been so important for me this year!! I've learned so much about myself.

  • @lihiwood9061
    @lihiwood9061 19 днів тому +13

    The woman who wrote this letter- I am you, you wrote my life story too.
    I wish you well, believe in yourself, I believe in you even though we never met.

  • @SherryWilson-dk7bo
    @SherryWilson-dk7bo 18 днів тому +6

    Thank you so much Anna, love and prayers and blessings for you and everyone here 🙏 ❤️

  • @caoillainn
    @caoillainn 18 днів тому +10

    I'm 66, retired, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I still have difficulty forming connections and keeping friends. I've been isolating since Spring. No idea what to do or which direction to go.

    • @jenniferg6818
      @jenniferg6818 18 днів тому

      I've been self sabotaging all my relationships based on self loathing based on incessant mother abuse that I developed the skill to beat myself down to make her life easier. I seek external validation because I don't feel like I'm enough.

    • @CrappyChildhoodFairy
      @CrappyChildhoodFairy  18 днів тому +1

      We absolutely understand. The Daily Practice (free course) is a good tool to help sort out things like this. You can try it here if you’re interested: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice. Additionally, if you want to work on connecting with others, Anna's course "Connection Bootcamp" provides a structured way to start working on friendships and social life: bit.ly/CCF_Connection
      Nika@TeamFairy

    • @bluecandymsp
      @bluecandymsp 15 днів тому

      .."I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up" 🎯 I'm 61, and your comment resonated with me so much! I think when our childhood is marred by abuse and/or neglect and our parents/caregivers (for whatever reason) didn't really "see" us & encourage & support us to develop our authentic selves with our own individual personalities; likes & dislikes; innate gifts & talents etc, we can get stuck in just surviving the best way can.
      I'm currently in the process, like Anna suggested, of recalling those things from my childhood that really lifted my spirit, gave me a sense of calm "knowing" and/or gave me a feeling of accomplishment/sense of pride in myself even when no one else noticed or cared. Another 'clue', also as Anna suggested, might be to recall instances when others complimented me or thanked me or commented with positive suggestions on things that I've said or done? Tell my story? Write a book? Teach? 🥰

  • @winter_s_44
    @winter_s_44 18 днів тому +2

    This woman could literally be reading my thoughts. That is exactly how I feel about my life and everything in it. I relate to everything, especially the realization that trying for things doesn’t work out, so you try waiting for things to happen that never do, then you feel foolish for waiting for things to happen. Then you get to be my age (40) and have nothing you feel connected to to show for it. No relationship. No deep friendships. No career you deeply love. No creative pursuits that arise from or nourish the soul. You are just here going through the motions and waiting for it all to end. No approach to life (trying or waiting) ever seemed to net you anything you wanted for felt happy to have. So, you no longer want to make decisions or try anymore than you want to sit around and wait for things to come to you. So what are the other options? I get it. Story of my life.

  • @SilviaK1975
    @SilviaK1975 17 днів тому +2

    Its like hearing about my life .... Wish you all healing ❤️

  • @rachelpapaya
    @rachelpapaya 15 днів тому +1

    I really felt this episode on a soul level. Natalie’s letter described my life to a T… through the lens of depression. On a good day, there is so much light and possibility. On a bad day (or series of them), it’s shocking how dark and dull the world can seem. I love Anna’s advice and found this really helpful.

  • @sez187
    @sez187 18 днів тому +3

    "Feeling empty is a trauma response" YES! Most people don't want to hear this though, it's easier to blame others for not meeting a need that only healing and taking responsibility can heal👌 In saying that, my role as a partner is to love on them while they heal, versus abandoning and retraumarizing them...again 🙈

  • @lizrussell415
    @lizrussell415 18 днів тому +4

    You’re a genius Anna. I love your spirit!

  • @zaylah6015
    @zaylah6015 19 днів тому +8

    Amazing analysis of the entire situation of dealing with the nitty gritty details of consequences due to CPTSD❤

  • @c.s.102
    @c.s.102 19 днів тому +5

    I sense you are on the right place and date as I am 10 years older. I need connection, my volunteer work and my creativity. Go explore. Thank you .

  • @Forgot_We_Were_Human
    @Forgot_We_Were_Human 19 днів тому +4

    This is both a fatty fat fat FAT mood and a whole confirmation for me that I'm on the right track. Thank you God 💖
    All my love to you Nichole! 💕💖 Oh also please don't be discouraged if it doesn't happen right away! That's part of the adventure I believe 🤗

  • @JudithLindekens-sc3nk
    @JudithLindekens-sc3nk 18 днів тому +2

    This is coming also at the perfect time for me, thank you so much 🙏🏽 I've been feeling empty and depressed and you are describing this emptiness so clearly, about the developmental delay. Your positive, hopeful advice really helps me to start this day and believe ❤

  • @RL-px6be
    @RL-px6be 18 днів тому +3

    Wow.. I relate to this woman. ( I'm 55 )..but still in my home country USA. I felt more like this 9 months ago. I started to listen to the "Bible in a Year" with Fr. Mike Schmitz (free on UA-cam)... I feel a great change internally. Coming back to the Catholic church and finding peace and steadfastness. The word of God does heal! Would highly recommend . Wishing you the best.

  • @carolineehling
    @carolineehling 17 днів тому +1

    There's humility in contentment. While I do think it's wonderful to make changes that produce happiness, that's not the sole end and aim of life. Like a "wanting what you have rather than having what you want" kind of thing. Most of the time, in my experience, wanting produces wanting. Maybe a hobby or something will add joy, IDK. I have what looks like a very boring life after an extremely traumatic life, and I LOVE IT.
    I was just looking through the comments and don't see anyone sharing my opinion so hopefully y'all don't judge me 🤣

    • @lauracarstiou3505
      @lauracarstiou3505 16 днів тому

      Being settled is a good feeling for a trauma survivor.. now I'm in my seventies and decided to settle down near my son. I still get restless sometimes..

  • @HellaBella-d4y
    @HellaBella-d4y 17 днів тому +1

    Natalie.. thank u for this letter... my life completely

  • @rosemarybrodie
    @rosemarybrodie 19 днів тому +3

    Loved this letter and response, thankyou Natalie and Anna 🙏

  • @eugetesta5847
    @eugetesta5847 19 днів тому +2

    Yeah, the spiritual practice saves lives✨

  • @katheandphil
    @katheandphil 15 днів тому

    Thanks for daring to find your purpose because it benefits us all who watch you. I am new to your channel and love the format of reading letters that are SO real!! Seeing you do this and the fact that you talk so openly and real about your own process, inspires me to continue trying new things that feel good to me and avoid the temptation of the comfortable path that makes me feel gray. I already know that most of the time our bigger purpose is connected to somehow serving others.❤❤

  • @old-soul
    @old-soul 15 днів тому

    Everything mentioned in the letter is ME. I totally relate to this. Now, I’m trying hard to work on myself..be a better me

  • @gardenblend
    @gardenblend 18 днів тому

    I 100% feel the same way, respectfully it feels good to know I'm not the only one

  • @lizrussell415
    @lizrussell415 18 днів тому +3

    Beautiful letter.

  • @davidwhitcher1972
    @davidwhitcher1972 18 днів тому +1

    I have been in treatment for almost 5 years. They have done all they can with medication. CBT, DBT, Journaling, Positive Affirmations have hardly moved the needle. I have no hope of getting better. I have no one i can talk to or any illusion that i can find someone i can trust. I am not spiritual at all. I have never experienced awe, wonder, or the feeling that there is more to the world then what can be measured despite spending my 20's looking for it.

  • @rhondan1280
    @rhondan1280 18 днів тому +2

    Thank you 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼😢

    • @CrappyChildhoodFairy
      @CrappyChildhoodFairy  18 днів тому +1

      Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy

  • @RoadRunnergarage8570
    @RoadRunnergarage8570 18 днів тому

    I am working hard at not "going with the flow " all of the time and I am ending friendships with certain peoole that want to push me to their way of thinking... sounds kind of liberating!!

  • @grat2010
    @grat2010 18 днів тому

    This was much needed today.

  • @RoadRunnergarage8570
    @RoadRunnergarage8570 18 днів тому

    Hobbies add richness to my life..

  • @caroleminke6116
    @caroleminke6116 19 днів тому +7

    I fantasize about amnesia & going to a Caribbean Island 🏝️

    • @cyndim8785
      @cyndim8785 18 днів тому +1

      Can you imagine someone that does not like to go to the beach? Well that’s my narc husband. For seven years he made excuses not to go relax and enjoy the sunshine, I finally had it. I put in his PTO days and made reservations for five days on the beach. He took his fishing poles and left me there by myself where I met a group of people. They invited me to their canopy to get out of the sun. Everyday those people were so kind to me always asking me if I’d like something to eat or drink and lots of conversations. My husband has isolated me, he won’t ever let me get a job or volunteer anymore. He left me all by myself and never ask if I was okay with that, of course I was. I had a Margarita on the beach with some special people. Making plans to do it again very soon.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 18 днів тому

      @@cyndim8785💔❤️‍🩹♥️

  • @Muchaspass
    @Muchaspass 18 днів тому +3

    Lord of Lords an King of Kings
    I humbly come before you in prayer
    Giving thanks onto this healing UA-cam channel
    Show onto me an release convection over my eyes and everything else that leads to destruction. My rightnessness is as of filthy rags
    Show me the way Lord. Anna your right about asking in prayer

  • @Dobermanmomma
    @Dobermanmomma 19 днів тому +2

    Before 2023, it seemed like the only thing personal growth materials would offer is the statements that don't really add up to anything. I'm grateful for the shift. Furthermore, when I was a kid, I went to a lot of therapy and all they did was say I'm a survivor but never explained anything. It felt like they were just calling me a superwoman to be nice but I felt I was not even surviving until I was out of the abusive family home. It angers me now, I could have been helped sooner, but the therapists were just making money off of me. I should write you because leaving out so much detail since this is a UA-cam comment. These therapists were calling me a survivor when i was still being abused. It makes no sense. I didnt survive until it was over and ill never forget how good it felt when it was all FINALLY FINALLY OVER. It was the Fall of 2018. Ill never forget that apartment.

    • @lauracarstiou3505
      @lauracarstiou3505 16 днів тому

      Therapists totally failed me..l quit drinking in my thirties and AA actually saved me and helped me discover my authentic self. I have always struggled with relationships with men. But I keep looking for the right one... probably useless

  • @Pattyauf
    @Pattyauf 15 днів тому +1

    Anna; many of your videos carry one central theme: that of being connected to other people and how childhood C-PTSD may have sabotaged this. My question to you is this: what if some of us don't want to connect to other people simply because the connections themselves seem or feel superfluous or shallow? Many of the connections I make with people are just that; superficial and shallow, with very little meaning. One can only talk about the weather, your pet or what your mother did the other day for so long before it gets mundane and uninspiring. The real purpose for living on this planet is to become more conscious. In other words, to experience the Divine in all its manifestations. I seldom experience that when interacting with people, whether it be through my work or casual relationships. (thank God that I have the kind of job where I only need to interact with someone for less than a minute or two.) That's good enough for me. A lot of us, especially those of us following you on your channel, have expressed a desire to have minimal contact with people. I believe that is the way society has evolved over the past few decades and I'm OK with that. It might be time to accept what seems inevitable. Personally, I cherish my solitude and have become comfortable being alone most of the time.

  • @homeirajaz4037
    @homeirajaz4037 17 днів тому +1

    unbelievable. it is somewhat as if it is me talking

  • @debwood4298
    @debwood4298 18 днів тому +1

    That was my life going with the flow

  • @louisepotier2784
    @louisepotier2784 18 днів тому

    That was an interesting talk. Was the letter written by me? lol. Have a nice day and I'm looking forward to the next conversation.
    Take care 🙂

  • @lauracarstiou3505
    @lauracarstiou3505 16 днів тому

    I relate to her but I'm a lot older. At her age l moved to California from New England. It was a good move. I'm an artist and it really enhanced my art. Now I moved back east to Virginia. I'm hooked into the art community. I'm having flashbacks about my childhood. My life blew up when I was 18. I lost my parents because my mom was a drunk by then and I stopped talking to my father. I quit talking to God. I was vdrinking a lot. I got into an abusive marriage. At 36 l joined AA and I'm still in it. I'm disappointed l never met the right man who could be my companion. I think I was too broken to find a good man. I still am and l feel sad. People l love are dying. It sucks. I do have friends though and I really value them. And my cat too. Cat lady.. hahaha. Now they make fun of that. I hate people thinking old people are useless. I don't even look old. I'm attractive and in good shape. I keep thinking about the terrible things that happened to me in my twenties. I barely survived. I had no one to comfort me. I'm surprised l didn't become a drug addict. Without AA l would have become a tragic figure. I probably would have checked out. I thought l was healed but some days I just feel emptiness. I pretend I'm just fine out there in the world

  • @terryfelkins912
    @terryfelkins912 17 днів тому

    She is not alone. I have had to be in the trauma because my marriage almost killed me. I’m trying desperately to live happy. Anything I accomplish my mother takes as a win for her. I drive her because she dosent have a license. She constantly tells me where to turn and how to drive. I have asked her not to. She won’t stop. I get upset because she says it sure is easy to push your buttons. I asked why? She just mows right over my boundaries and it makes me mad! I was abused by my uncle they do not believe it because they have no proof. Omg. Now my mother thinks she owns me and orders me around like some pit boss! Ugh hard to move forward when people throw you under the bus and criticize your driving.

  • @Neresdipity
    @Neresdipity 14 днів тому

    Wow, this is exactly what I need right now. Serendipity! (See my online name 😂)

  • @jayshrutisingh3648
    @jayshrutisingh3648 17 днів тому

    This girl is mee 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

  • @erickarhodes6068
    @erickarhodes6068 19 днів тому +1

    I feel a lot like tge writer, although she does seem to have a lot more going for her than I do. Haven't worked un along time, have on sort of good friend, no man, been widowed several years now.

  • @brightsky5586
    @brightsky5586 18 днів тому

    Can you do a video on why showering is so difficult for people with CPTSD???? Thank you!!

    • @briechilli4496
      @briechilli4496 18 днів тому

      Do you have chronic fatigue ?

    • @brightsky5586
      @brightsky5586 18 днів тому

      @briechilli4496 No, it's a procrastination thing. I have CPTSD, major depression.

    • @doricetimko5403
      @doricetimko5403 15 днів тому

      I wonder if it’s because we can’t be as hyper vigilant: sounds etc are muffled or blocked by the shower…

    • @brightsky5586
      @brightsky5586 15 днів тому

      @doricetimko5403 That wouldn't be in my case. I actually have to wear earplugs in the shower because water gets in my ears very easily. That's only been the last couple of years. This has been an ongoing problem for 30+ years. There was a video on FB with a woman stating the exact same issue, and 10,000 plus people said they have the same issue!!! They do everything to NOT get in the shower 😞

  • @hank_430
    @hank_430 18 днів тому

    The "higher power" is yourself being in your "purest" or core/true form of love and light. There is no one over arching power, other than just the overarching energy that sustains life but even that is very specific to each planet/solar system/universe. I think conflating that with religion, especially for a community with trauma that has been historically used and abused by religious institutions, is dangerous. Many folks that would benefit from aspects of your knowledge will be turned away and turned off if "god" is your answer because that is just playing into their delusions, delusions which we KNOW are harmful to themselves and others inside and outside of religion.

    • @CrappyChildhoodFairy
      @CrappyChildhoodFairy  18 днів тому +2

      You realize you’re bullying people about things they get to decide for themselves? What not just say what you believe without putting others down?

    • @lauracarstiou3505
      @lauracarstiou3505 16 днів тому +1

      I don't have a religion but I study Buddhism. It's totally different.

  • @karen0karen
    @karen0karen 3 дні тому

    oh, I feel so much like the first person's letter. Much improvement but...feeling like my life is a big nothing.

  • @Mmyythandle
    @Mmyythandle 12 днів тому

    So to sum up is the solution to just find new hobbies?

  • @turquoisetoile-universalethics

    The person that I have been limerent on for the past year, has been bottled up. I long to be next to her but every time I am it's like being next to a rock. I'm not happy and I don't know how she's feeling.

  • @bioherboloqi7426
    @bioherboloqi7426 18 днів тому +1

    Only dead fish go with the flow.

  • @CubenParnell
    @CubenParnell 13 днів тому

    Jesus will help her

  • @melodeelewis462
    @melodeelewis462 18 днів тому

    Me to T. Your younger so a reincarnate of me. I cant download anything so can not get daily practice.😢

    • @CrappyChildhoodFairy
      @CrappyChildhoodFairy  18 днів тому

      For The Daily Practice try this link: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice and if you still need help, please contact our customer service team at hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com They will help! :)
      Nika@TeamFairy

  • @loriwilde3977
    @loriwilde3977 18 днів тому

    You mean "normies" don't have a sense of emptiness? I thought everyone felt empty.

  • @ybois3
    @ybois3 14 днів тому

    This is just the wisdom I needed this day. I will rewatch, take notes and do my daily practice 🍁☕️🩷⭐️🍂🎉💚💚💚💚 Thank you from the bottom of my heart

  • @couture1004
    @couture1004 19 днів тому +4

    i also find myself so desperately hoping one area of my life would go great 🥲 but instead i am involved in situations that are retraumatizing... i wish for amnesia too...

  • @Mmyythandle
    @Mmyythandle 12 днів тому

    So to sum up is the solution to just find new hobbies?