*Take my free Daily Practice course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice *Join my Membership and access my private online community: bit.ly/CCF-Membership *Visit my website at crappychildhoodfairy.com *Order my new book RE-REGULATED here: bit.ly/3XiLsj2 *Have a question for me to answer on UA-cam? Write me here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters
I identify so much with her letter, even down to her mother's and brother's actions. Finally, at 67, I couldn't live that "charmed yet devoid " life any longer. I sold my business. I sold my house. I sold my car. I cleared all my possessions, cherished or not and with 3 suitcases and my angel dog, left it all for a new country and a simple quiet life far away (had never been there before). Now I live an isolated life, aware that childhood trauma scarred me, but not wallowing in the concept. And I have found a peace and quiet contentment that I didn't know could exist. I am spending my Winter years here, without plentitude, giving love and kindness to people I meet and to animals and nature. It's not a solution for everyone, for sure. But it works for me. And I am so very grateful for everything, including all the traumas and lessons that got me to this place in my Life. ❤🙏🙏🌻 Much love to you all. ❤❤
I went to the nature coast of Florida after exploring Costa Rica as well as Southern Ireland 🇮🇪 I still rescue cats from horrible places but don’t interact with people anymore
these videos are really hitting lately. especially liked the part about leaning into faith & spirituality as you heal. my faith has become my biggest source of strength. love! 🧡
It's such a baffling feeling to hear someone describing YOUR life, thoughts and feelings with such a precision :O But whoever wrote this letter (If I wasn't two decades younger than the author, I would certainly believe it was me, hahaha ) - thank you !!
I feel exactly the same as this letter writer! I know those feelings so well and I really wish you all the best. I love that you want a great life and you deserve it. I really hope you get everything you want. Thank you for writing the letter, it makes me feel not so alone.
I love the idea of "following joy." This is an alternative to what I have always done. I was developmentally delayed socially. I never bonded with my mother and then not anyone else, either. So I became hyper-logical. Letting the world know that following logic is NOT good idea, if anyone thought it might help. Logic will tell you what not to do: drive drunk, jump off a cliff, be violent, etc. But it will not provide guidance. I just kept doing things logically (getting the next degree, getting a house, reading more self-help books to feel better, etc.). I never got a vision of what I wanted. I had no connection to my feelings. Now I do the Daily Practice to heal and to listen to any good ideas or desires that might arise. I still don't know what I do want, but the DP has made me feel so much better.
🐑🐑🐑 also a black sheep. I understand this may be rudimentary to most of you- but when Anna just said that our passion and our job DOESN'T have to be the same 🤯🤯🤯 LEGITIMATELY HAVE NEVER BEEN TOLD THIS BEFORE!! I feel I've been wasting my life trying to find the "right" thing for me to be (in life). This hits! I get it. This is FABULOUS! THANKS ANNA - here you are- changing people's lives for the better...🎉🎉🎉
When it is the same though, it is amazing! But yes, I agree, it does not have to be. Especially if you are really good at something that pays well that allows you to funnel $ toward your passion.
Indeed. I only recently discovered this concept. Big AHA moment and it gave me so much relief from thinking, for decades, that I was "broken or faulty " for not having the passion or for it matching my money earning activities. Found peace. Finally 🙏🙏🙏
This is just my opinion, but I think so many different ideas exist because different things work for different people. For one person, spirituality might be their answer. For others with religious trauma, maybe that path dredges up more pain than healing, and so they find something different. But, I think that's part of the beauty of existence. There is no 'right' way to do things. There's several paths to choose from. I came into your videos when I really needed them, but then I branched out to other pathways as well. Luckily, I've been able to 'take what I like and leave the rest' as they say in AA with many other materials. May we all find our peace✨️
The woman who wrote this letter- I am you, you wrote my life story too. I wish you well, believe in yourself, I believe in you even though we never met.
I'm 66, retired, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I still have difficulty forming connections and keeping friends. I've been isolating since Spring. No idea what to do or which direction to go.
I've been self sabotaging all my relationships based on self loathing based on incessant mother abuse that I developed the skill to beat myself down to make her life easier. I seek external validation because I don't feel like I'm enough.
We absolutely understand. The Daily Practice (free course) is a good tool to help sort out things like this. You can try it here if you’re interested: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice. Additionally, if you want to work on connecting with others, Anna's course "Connection Bootcamp" provides a structured way to start working on friendships and social life: bit.ly/CCF_Connection Nika@TeamFairy
.."I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up" 🎯 I'm 61, and your comment resonated with me so much! I think when our childhood is marred by abuse and/or neglect and our parents/caregivers (for whatever reason) didn't really "see" us & encourage & support us to develop our authentic selves with our own individual personalities; likes & dislikes; innate gifts & talents etc, we can get stuck in just surviving the best way can. I'm currently in the process, like Anna suggested, of recalling those things from my childhood that really lifted my spirit, gave me a sense of calm "knowing" and/or gave me a feeling of accomplishment/sense of pride in myself even when no one else noticed or cared. Another 'clue', also as Anna suggested, might be to recall instances when others complimented me or thanked me or commented with positive suggestions on things that I've said or done? Tell my story? Write a book? Teach? 🥰
This woman could literally be reading my thoughts. That is exactly how I feel about my life and everything in it. I relate to everything, especially the realization that trying for things doesn’t work out, so you try waiting for things to happen that never do, then you feel foolish for waiting for things to happen. Then you get to be my age (40) and have nothing you feel connected to to show for it. No relationship. No deep friendships. No career you deeply love. No creative pursuits that arise from or nourish the soul. You are just here going through the motions and waiting for it all to end. No approach to life (trying or waiting) ever seemed to net you anything you wanted for felt happy to have. So, you no longer want to make decisions or try anymore than you want to sit around and wait for things to come to you. So what are the other options? I get it. Story of my life.
I really felt this episode on a soul level. Natalie’s letter described my life to a T… through the lens of depression. On a good day, there is so much light and possibility. On a bad day (or series of them), it’s shocking how dark and dull the world can seem. I love Anna’s advice and found this really helpful.
"Feeling empty is a trauma response" YES! Most people don't want to hear this though, it's easier to blame others for not meeting a need that only healing and taking responsibility can heal👌 In saying that, my role as a partner is to love on them while they heal, versus abandoning and retraumarizing them...again 🙈
This is both a fatty fat fat FAT mood and a whole confirmation for me that I'm on the right track. Thank you God 💖 All my love to you Nichole! 💕💖 Oh also please don't be discouraged if it doesn't happen right away! That's part of the adventure I believe 🤗
This is coming also at the perfect time for me, thank you so much 🙏🏽 I've been feeling empty and depressed and you are describing this emptiness so clearly, about the developmental delay. Your positive, hopeful advice really helps me to start this day and believe ❤
Wow.. I relate to this woman. ( I'm 55 )..but still in my home country USA. I felt more like this 9 months ago. I started to listen to the "Bible in a Year" with Fr. Mike Schmitz (free on UA-cam)... I feel a great change internally. Coming back to the Catholic church and finding peace and steadfastness. The word of God does heal! Would highly recommend . Wishing you the best.
There's humility in contentment. While I do think it's wonderful to make changes that produce happiness, that's not the sole end and aim of life. Like a "wanting what you have rather than having what you want" kind of thing. Most of the time, in my experience, wanting produces wanting. Maybe a hobby or something will add joy, IDK. I have what looks like a very boring life after an extremely traumatic life, and I LOVE IT. I was just looking through the comments and don't see anyone sharing my opinion so hopefully y'all don't judge me 🤣
Being settled is a good feeling for a trauma survivor.. now I'm in my seventies and decided to settle down near my son. I still get restless sometimes..
Thanks for daring to find your purpose because it benefits us all who watch you. I am new to your channel and love the format of reading letters that are SO real!! Seeing you do this and the fact that you talk so openly and real about your own process, inspires me to continue trying new things that feel good to me and avoid the temptation of the comfortable path that makes me feel gray. I already know that most of the time our bigger purpose is connected to somehow serving others.❤❤
I have been in treatment for almost 5 years. They have done all they can with medication. CBT, DBT, Journaling, Positive Affirmations have hardly moved the needle. I have no hope of getting better. I have no one i can talk to or any illusion that i can find someone i can trust. I am not spiritual at all. I have never experienced awe, wonder, or the feeling that there is more to the world then what can be measured despite spending my 20's looking for it.
I am working hard at not "going with the flow " all of the time and I am ending friendships with certain peoole that want to push me to their way of thinking... sounds kind of liberating!!
Can you imagine someone that does not like to go to the beach? Well that’s my narc husband. For seven years he made excuses not to go relax and enjoy the sunshine, I finally had it. I put in his PTO days and made reservations for five days on the beach. He took his fishing poles and left me there by myself where I met a group of people. They invited me to their canopy to get out of the sun. Everyday those people were so kind to me always asking me if I’d like something to eat or drink and lots of conversations. My husband has isolated me, he won’t ever let me get a job or volunteer anymore. He left me all by myself and never ask if I was okay with that, of course I was. I had a Margarita on the beach with some special people. Making plans to do it again very soon.
Lord of Lords an King of Kings I humbly come before you in prayer Giving thanks onto this healing UA-cam channel Show onto me an release convection over my eyes and everything else that leads to destruction. My rightnessness is as of filthy rags Show me the way Lord. Anna your right about asking in prayer
Before 2023, it seemed like the only thing personal growth materials would offer is the statements that don't really add up to anything. I'm grateful for the shift. Furthermore, when I was a kid, I went to a lot of therapy and all they did was say I'm a survivor but never explained anything. It felt like they were just calling me a superwoman to be nice but I felt I was not even surviving until I was out of the abusive family home. It angers me now, I could have been helped sooner, but the therapists were just making money off of me. I should write you because leaving out so much detail since this is a UA-cam comment. These therapists were calling me a survivor when i was still being abused. It makes no sense. I didnt survive until it was over and ill never forget how good it felt when it was all FINALLY FINALLY OVER. It was the Fall of 2018. Ill never forget that apartment.
Therapists totally failed me..l quit drinking in my thirties and AA actually saved me and helped me discover my authentic self. I have always struggled with relationships with men. But I keep looking for the right one... probably useless
Anna; many of your videos carry one central theme: that of being connected to other people and how childhood C-PTSD may have sabotaged this. My question to you is this: what if some of us don't want to connect to other people simply because the connections themselves seem or feel superfluous or shallow? Many of the connections I make with people are just that; superficial and shallow, with very little meaning. One can only talk about the weather, your pet or what your mother did the other day for so long before it gets mundane and uninspiring. The real purpose for living on this planet is to become more conscious. In other words, to experience the Divine in all its manifestations. I seldom experience that when interacting with people, whether it be through my work or casual relationships. (thank God that I have the kind of job where I only need to interact with someone for less than a minute or two.) That's good enough for me. A lot of us, especially those of us following you on your channel, have expressed a desire to have minimal contact with people. I believe that is the way society has evolved over the past few decades and I'm OK with that. It might be time to accept what seems inevitable. Personally, I cherish my solitude and have become comfortable being alone most of the time.
I relate to her but I'm a lot older. At her age l moved to California from New England. It was a good move. I'm an artist and it really enhanced my art. Now I moved back east to Virginia. I'm hooked into the art community. I'm having flashbacks about my childhood. My life blew up when I was 18. I lost my parents because my mom was a drunk by then and I stopped talking to my father. I quit talking to God. I was vdrinking a lot. I got into an abusive marriage. At 36 l joined AA and I'm still in it. I'm disappointed l never met the right man who could be my companion. I think I was too broken to find a good man. I still am and l feel sad. People l love are dying. It sucks. I do have friends though and I really value them. And my cat too. Cat lady.. hahaha. Now they make fun of that. I hate people thinking old people are useless. I don't even look old. I'm attractive and in good shape. I keep thinking about the terrible things that happened to me in my twenties. I barely survived. I had no one to comfort me. I'm surprised l didn't become a drug addict. Without AA l would have become a tragic figure. I probably would have checked out. I thought l was healed but some days I just feel emptiness. I pretend I'm just fine out there in the world
She is not alone. I have had to be in the trauma because my marriage almost killed me. I’m trying desperately to live happy. Anything I accomplish my mother takes as a win for her. I drive her because she dosent have a license. She constantly tells me where to turn and how to drive. I have asked her not to. She won’t stop. I get upset because she says it sure is easy to push your buttons. I asked why? She just mows right over my boundaries and it makes me mad! I was abused by my uncle they do not believe it because they have no proof. Omg. Now my mother thinks she owns me and orders me around like some pit boss! Ugh hard to move forward when people throw you under the bus and criticize your driving.
I feel a lot like tge writer, although she does seem to have a lot more going for her than I do. Haven't worked un along time, have on sort of good friend, no man, been widowed several years now.
@doricetimko5403 That wouldn't be in my case. I actually have to wear earplugs in the shower because water gets in my ears very easily. That's only been the last couple of years. This has been an ongoing problem for 30+ years. There was a video on FB with a woman stating the exact same issue, and 10,000 plus people said they have the same issue!!! They do everything to NOT get in the shower 😞
The "higher power" is yourself being in your "purest" or core/true form of love and light. There is no one over arching power, other than just the overarching energy that sustains life but even that is very specific to each planet/solar system/universe. I think conflating that with religion, especially for a community with trauma that has been historically used and abused by religious institutions, is dangerous. Many folks that would benefit from aspects of your knowledge will be turned away and turned off if "god" is your answer because that is just playing into their delusions, delusions which we KNOW are harmful to themselves and others inside and outside of religion.
The person that I have been limerent on for the past year, has been bottled up. I long to be next to her but every time I am it's like being next to a rock. I'm not happy and I don't know how she's feeling.
For The Daily Practice try this link: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice and if you still need help, please contact our customer service team at hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com They will help! :) Nika@TeamFairy
i also find myself so desperately hoping one area of my life would go great 🥲 but instead i am involved in situations that are retraumatizing... i wish for amnesia too...
*Take my free Daily Practice course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
*Join my Membership and access my private online community: bit.ly/CCF-Membership
*Visit my website at crappychildhoodfairy.com
*Order my new book RE-REGULATED here: bit.ly/3XiLsj2
*Have a question for me to answer on UA-cam? Write me here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters
Everyone watching this, I hope we all heal, find love and joy and be tender to each other and create a beautiful world.
Thankyou, it was lovely to read this. Peace and love ❤
Me too ❤
I identify so much with her letter, even down to her mother's and brother's actions.
Finally, at 67, I couldn't live that "charmed yet devoid " life any longer. I sold my business. I sold my house. I sold my car. I cleared all my possessions, cherished or not and with 3 suitcases and my angel dog, left it all for a new country and a simple quiet life far away (had never been there before).
Now I live an isolated life, aware that childhood trauma scarred me, but not wallowing in the concept. And I have found a peace and quiet contentment that I didn't know could exist.
I am spending my Winter years here, without plentitude, giving love and kindness to people I meet and to animals and nature.
It's not a solution for everyone, for sure. But it works for me. And I am so very grateful for everything, including all the traumas and lessons that got me to this place in my Life. ❤🙏🙏🌻
Much love to you all. ❤❤
I went to the nature coast of Florida after exploring Costa Rica as well as Southern Ireland 🇮🇪 I still rescue cats from horrible places but don’t interact with people anymore
@@caroleminke6116
I totally get that!!
I dream of a life like that. I imagine the possibilities daily.
Was just feeling really empty an lost and tried to fill the void with UA-cam, than I saw the new fairy Video. Perfect timing🙏❤
me as well
She is definitely not alone. I feel her pain. 😢
You're in the right place and we're so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Love and compassion to everyone watching today. Thanks Anna for all that you do 🙏
🙏♥️
these videos are really hitting lately. especially liked the part about leaning into faith & spirituality as you heal. my faith has become my biggest source of strength. love! 🧡
This woman is not alone! I understand that feeling. I hope you find the joy that you deserve, and I know that you can.
It's such a baffling feeling to hear someone describing YOUR life, thoughts and feelings with such a precision :O But whoever wrote this letter (If I wasn't two decades younger than the author, I would certainly believe it was me, hahaha ) - thank you !!
@romanzanoni helps people heal if you're looking to get past this.
I feel exactly the same as this letter writer! I know those feelings so well and I really wish you all the best. I love that you want a great life and you deserve it. I really hope you get everything you want. Thank you for writing the letter, it makes me feel not so alone.
Same... - so thank you both! 😊
She is definitely Not alone. I believe that Many of us know and understand her descriptions so very well.
😊
I love the idea of "following joy." This is an alternative to what I have always done. I was developmentally delayed socially. I never bonded with my mother and then not anyone else, either. So I became hyper-logical. Letting the world know that following logic is NOT good idea, if anyone thought it might help. Logic will tell you what not to do: drive drunk, jump off a cliff, be violent, etc. But it will not provide guidance. I just kept doing things logically (getting the next degree, getting a house, reading more self-help books to feel better, etc.). I never got a vision of what I wanted. I had no connection to my feelings. Now I do the Daily Practice to heal and to listen to any good ideas or desires that might arise. I still don't know what I do want, but the DP has made me feel so much better.
Good advice. Thank you from the family scapegoat.
🐑🐑🐑 also a black sheep.
I understand this may be rudimentary to most of you- but when Anna just said that our passion and our job DOESN'T have to be the same
🤯🤯🤯 LEGITIMATELY HAVE NEVER BEEN TOLD THIS BEFORE!! I feel I've been wasting my life trying to find the "right" thing for me to be (in life).
This hits! I get it. This is FABULOUS!
THANKS ANNA - here you are- changing people's lives for the better...🎉🎉🎉
When it is the same though, it is amazing! But yes, I agree, it does not have to be. Especially if you are really good at something that pays well that allows you to funnel $ toward your passion.
Indeed. I only recently discovered this concept. Big AHA moment and it gave me so much relief from thinking, for decades, that I was "broken or faulty " for not having the passion or for it matching my money earning activities.
Found peace. Finally 🙏🙏🙏
This is just my opinion, but I think so many different ideas exist because different things work for different people. For one person, spirituality might be their answer. For others with religious trauma, maybe that path dredges up more pain than healing, and so they find something different. But, I think that's part of the beauty of existence. There is no 'right' way to do things. There's several paths to choose from. I came into your videos when I really needed them, but then I branched out to other pathways as well. Luckily, I've been able to 'take what I like and leave the rest' as they say in AA with many other materials. May we all find our peace✨️
Your channel has been so important for me this year!! I've learned so much about myself.
The woman who wrote this letter- I am you, you wrote my life story too.
I wish you well, believe in yourself, I believe in you even though we never met.
Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you so much Anna, love and prayers and blessings for you and everyone here 🙏 ❤️
I'm 66, retired, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I still have difficulty forming connections and keeping friends. I've been isolating since Spring. No idea what to do or which direction to go.
I've been self sabotaging all my relationships based on self loathing based on incessant mother abuse that I developed the skill to beat myself down to make her life easier. I seek external validation because I don't feel like I'm enough.
We absolutely understand. The Daily Practice (free course) is a good tool to help sort out things like this. You can try it here if you’re interested: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice. Additionally, if you want to work on connecting with others, Anna's course "Connection Bootcamp" provides a structured way to start working on friendships and social life: bit.ly/CCF_Connection
Nika@TeamFairy
.."I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up" 🎯 I'm 61, and your comment resonated with me so much! I think when our childhood is marred by abuse and/or neglect and our parents/caregivers (for whatever reason) didn't really "see" us & encourage & support us to develop our authentic selves with our own individual personalities; likes & dislikes; innate gifts & talents etc, we can get stuck in just surviving the best way can.
I'm currently in the process, like Anna suggested, of recalling those things from my childhood that really lifted my spirit, gave me a sense of calm "knowing" and/or gave me a feeling of accomplishment/sense of pride in myself even when no one else noticed or cared. Another 'clue', also as Anna suggested, might be to recall instances when others complimented me or thanked me or commented with positive suggestions on things that I've said or done? Tell my story? Write a book? Teach? 🥰
This woman could literally be reading my thoughts. That is exactly how I feel about my life and everything in it. I relate to everything, especially the realization that trying for things doesn’t work out, so you try waiting for things to happen that never do, then you feel foolish for waiting for things to happen. Then you get to be my age (40) and have nothing you feel connected to to show for it. No relationship. No deep friendships. No career you deeply love. No creative pursuits that arise from or nourish the soul. You are just here going through the motions and waiting for it all to end. No approach to life (trying or waiting) ever seemed to net you anything you wanted for felt happy to have. So, you no longer want to make decisions or try anymore than you want to sit around and wait for things to come to you. So what are the other options? I get it. Story of my life.
Its like hearing about my life .... Wish you all healing ❤️
I really felt this episode on a soul level. Natalie’s letter described my life to a T… through the lens of depression. On a good day, there is so much light and possibility. On a bad day (or series of them), it’s shocking how dark and dull the world can seem. I love Anna’s advice and found this really helpful.
"Feeling empty is a trauma response" YES! Most people don't want to hear this though, it's easier to blame others for not meeting a need that only healing and taking responsibility can heal👌 In saying that, my role as a partner is to love on them while they heal, versus abandoning and retraumarizing them...again 🙈
You’re a genius Anna. I love your spirit!
Amazing analysis of the entire situation of dealing with the nitty gritty details of consequences due to CPTSD❤
I sense you are on the right place and date as I am 10 years older. I need connection, my volunteer work and my creativity. Go explore. Thank you .
This is both a fatty fat fat FAT mood and a whole confirmation for me that I'm on the right track. Thank you God 💖
All my love to you Nichole! 💕💖 Oh also please don't be discouraged if it doesn't happen right away! That's part of the adventure I believe 🤗
This is coming also at the perfect time for me, thank you so much 🙏🏽 I've been feeling empty and depressed and you are describing this emptiness so clearly, about the developmental delay. Your positive, hopeful advice really helps me to start this day and believe ❤
So glad you are here!
Nika@TeamFairy
Wow.. I relate to this woman. ( I'm 55 )..but still in my home country USA. I felt more like this 9 months ago. I started to listen to the "Bible in a Year" with Fr. Mike Schmitz (free on UA-cam)... I feel a great change internally. Coming back to the Catholic church and finding peace and steadfastness. The word of God does heal! Would highly recommend . Wishing you the best.
There's humility in contentment. While I do think it's wonderful to make changes that produce happiness, that's not the sole end and aim of life. Like a "wanting what you have rather than having what you want" kind of thing. Most of the time, in my experience, wanting produces wanting. Maybe a hobby or something will add joy, IDK. I have what looks like a very boring life after an extremely traumatic life, and I LOVE IT.
I was just looking through the comments and don't see anyone sharing my opinion so hopefully y'all don't judge me 🤣
Being settled is a good feeling for a trauma survivor.. now I'm in my seventies and decided to settle down near my son. I still get restless sometimes..
Natalie.. thank u for this letter... my life completely
Loved this letter and response, thankyou Natalie and Anna 🙏
Yeah, the spiritual practice saves lives✨
Thanks for daring to find your purpose because it benefits us all who watch you. I am new to your channel and love the format of reading letters that are SO real!! Seeing you do this and the fact that you talk so openly and real about your own process, inspires me to continue trying new things that feel good to me and avoid the temptation of the comfortable path that makes me feel gray. I already know that most of the time our bigger purpose is connected to somehow serving others.❤❤
Everything mentioned in the letter is ME. I totally relate to this. Now, I’m trying hard to work on myself..be a better me
I 100% feel the same way, respectfully it feels good to know I'm not the only one
Beautiful letter.
I have been in treatment for almost 5 years. They have done all they can with medication. CBT, DBT, Journaling, Positive Affirmations have hardly moved the needle. I have no hope of getting better. I have no one i can talk to or any illusion that i can find someone i can trust. I am not spiritual at all. I have never experienced awe, wonder, or the feeling that there is more to the world then what can be measured despite spending my 20's looking for it.
Thank you 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼😢
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I am working hard at not "going with the flow " all of the time and I am ending friendships with certain peoole that want to push me to their way of thinking... sounds kind of liberating!!
This was much needed today.
Hobbies add richness to my life..
I fantasize about amnesia & going to a Caribbean Island 🏝️
Can you imagine someone that does not like to go to the beach? Well that’s my narc husband. For seven years he made excuses not to go relax and enjoy the sunshine, I finally had it. I put in his PTO days and made reservations for five days on the beach. He took his fishing poles and left me there by myself where I met a group of people. They invited me to their canopy to get out of the sun. Everyday those people were so kind to me always asking me if I’d like something to eat or drink and lots of conversations. My husband has isolated me, he won’t ever let me get a job or volunteer anymore. He left me all by myself and never ask if I was okay with that, of course I was. I had a Margarita on the beach with some special people. Making plans to do it again very soon.
@@cyndim8785💔❤️🩹♥️
Lord of Lords an King of Kings
I humbly come before you in prayer
Giving thanks onto this healing UA-cam channel
Show onto me an release convection over my eyes and everything else that leads to destruction. My rightnessness is as of filthy rags
Show me the way Lord. Anna your right about asking in prayer
Before 2023, it seemed like the only thing personal growth materials would offer is the statements that don't really add up to anything. I'm grateful for the shift. Furthermore, when I was a kid, I went to a lot of therapy and all they did was say I'm a survivor but never explained anything. It felt like they were just calling me a superwoman to be nice but I felt I was not even surviving until I was out of the abusive family home. It angers me now, I could have been helped sooner, but the therapists were just making money off of me. I should write you because leaving out so much detail since this is a UA-cam comment. These therapists were calling me a survivor when i was still being abused. It makes no sense. I didnt survive until it was over and ill never forget how good it felt when it was all FINALLY FINALLY OVER. It was the Fall of 2018. Ill never forget that apartment.
Therapists totally failed me..l quit drinking in my thirties and AA actually saved me and helped me discover my authentic self. I have always struggled with relationships with men. But I keep looking for the right one... probably useless
Anna; many of your videos carry one central theme: that of being connected to other people and how childhood C-PTSD may have sabotaged this. My question to you is this: what if some of us don't want to connect to other people simply because the connections themselves seem or feel superfluous or shallow? Many of the connections I make with people are just that; superficial and shallow, with very little meaning. One can only talk about the weather, your pet or what your mother did the other day for so long before it gets mundane and uninspiring. The real purpose for living on this planet is to become more conscious. In other words, to experience the Divine in all its manifestations. I seldom experience that when interacting with people, whether it be through my work or casual relationships. (thank God that I have the kind of job where I only need to interact with someone for less than a minute or two.) That's good enough for me. A lot of us, especially those of us following you on your channel, have expressed a desire to have minimal contact with people. I believe that is the way society has evolved over the past few decades and I'm OK with that. It might be time to accept what seems inevitable. Personally, I cherish my solitude and have become comfortable being alone most of the time.
unbelievable. it is somewhat as if it is me talking
That was my life going with the flow
That was an interesting talk. Was the letter written by me? lol. Have a nice day and I'm looking forward to the next conversation.
Take care 🙂
I relate to her but I'm a lot older. At her age l moved to California from New England. It was a good move. I'm an artist and it really enhanced my art. Now I moved back east to Virginia. I'm hooked into the art community. I'm having flashbacks about my childhood. My life blew up when I was 18. I lost my parents because my mom was a drunk by then and I stopped talking to my father. I quit talking to God. I was vdrinking a lot. I got into an abusive marriage. At 36 l joined AA and I'm still in it. I'm disappointed l never met the right man who could be my companion. I think I was too broken to find a good man. I still am and l feel sad. People l love are dying. It sucks. I do have friends though and I really value them. And my cat too. Cat lady.. hahaha. Now they make fun of that. I hate people thinking old people are useless. I don't even look old. I'm attractive and in good shape. I keep thinking about the terrible things that happened to me in my twenties. I barely survived. I had no one to comfort me. I'm surprised l didn't become a drug addict. Without AA l would have become a tragic figure. I probably would have checked out. I thought l was healed but some days I just feel emptiness. I pretend I'm just fine out there in the world
She is not alone. I have had to be in the trauma because my marriage almost killed me. I’m trying desperately to live happy. Anything I accomplish my mother takes as a win for her. I drive her because she dosent have a license. She constantly tells me where to turn and how to drive. I have asked her not to. She won’t stop. I get upset because she says it sure is easy to push your buttons. I asked why? She just mows right over my boundaries and it makes me mad! I was abused by my uncle they do not believe it because they have no proof. Omg. Now my mother thinks she owns me and orders me around like some pit boss! Ugh hard to move forward when people throw you under the bus and criticize your driving.
Do you live with her ?
Do you live with your mother ?
Wow, this is exactly what I need right now. Serendipity! (See my online name 😂)
This girl is mee 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I feel a lot like tge writer, although she does seem to have a lot more going for her than I do. Haven't worked un along time, have on sort of good friend, no man, been widowed several years now.
Can you do a video on why showering is so difficult for people with CPTSD???? Thank you!!
Do you have chronic fatigue ?
@briechilli4496 No, it's a procrastination thing. I have CPTSD, major depression.
I wonder if it’s because we can’t be as hyper vigilant: sounds etc are muffled or blocked by the shower…
@doricetimko5403 That wouldn't be in my case. I actually have to wear earplugs in the shower because water gets in my ears very easily. That's only been the last couple of years. This has been an ongoing problem for 30+ years. There was a video on FB with a woman stating the exact same issue, and 10,000 plus people said they have the same issue!!! They do everything to NOT get in the shower 😞
The "higher power" is yourself being in your "purest" or core/true form of love and light. There is no one over arching power, other than just the overarching energy that sustains life but even that is very specific to each planet/solar system/universe. I think conflating that with religion, especially for a community with trauma that has been historically used and abused by religious institutions, is dangerous. Many folks that would benefit from aspects of your knowledge will be turned away and turned off if "god" is your answer because that is just playing into their delusions, delusions which we KNOW are harmful to themselves and others inside and outside of religion.
You realize you’re bullying people about things they get to decide for themselves? What not just say what you believe without putting others down?
I don't have a religion but I study Buddhism. It's totally different.
oh, I feel so much like the first person's letter. Much improvement but...feeling like my life is a big nothing.
So to sum up is the solution to just find new hobbies?
The person that I have been limerent on for the past year, has been bottled up. I long to be next to her but every time I am it's like being next to a rock. I'm not happy and I don't know how she's feeling.
Only dead fish go with the flow.
Jesus will help her
Me to T. Your younger so a reincarnate of me. I cant download anything so can not get daily practice.😢
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Nika@TeamFairy
You mean "normies" don't have a sense of emptiness? I thought everyone felt empty.
This is just the wisdom I needed this day. I will rewatch, take notes and do my daily practice 🍁☕️🩷⭐️🍂🎉💚💚💚💚 Thank you from the bottom of my heart
Glad it was helpful. Enjoy your Daily Practice!
Nika@TeamFairy
i also find myself so desperately hoping one area of my life would go great 🥲 but instead i am involved in situations that are retraumatizing... i wish for amnesia too...
😢❤
So to sum up is the solution to just find new hobbies?